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1
00:00:04,647 --> 00:00:06,707
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,514
You're ruining it!
Get your fingers out of it!
3
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:20,606
It's mine!
4
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,401
BERNIE: Hey, hey, hey.
I made it,
5
00:00:22,473 --> 00:00:24,513
and she ruined it.
It's my oven
6
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,765
and I don't want
to share with him anymore!
7
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,147
JORDAN: We had a deal:
I make 'em
8
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,308
and you eat 'em.
9
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,811
I'm full!
10
00:00:30,889 --> 00:00:31,809
BERNIE: Jordan, Jordan,
11
00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:33,730
come, come here for a minute.
12
00:00:33,809 --> 00:00:35,529
(frustrated groan)
13
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,032
BERNIE: Come on in here.
14
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,584
Go on over there.
15
00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:43,420
What's your problem?
16
00:00:44,319 --> 00:00:45,659
How old is your sister?
17
00:00:45,737 --> 00:00:46,787
Nine.
18
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:47,837
And how old are you?
19
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:48,905
Twelve.
20
00:00:48,990 --> 00:00:49,960
Why don't you go outside
21
00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:51,923
and play with kids your own age?
22
00:00:51,993 --> 00:00:53,793
"A," they don't let me,
23
00:00:53,870 --> 00:00:56,550
and "B," my cartoons are on.
24
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,027
As a matter of fact...
25
00:00:58,108 --> 00:01:00,048
BERNIE: That's another thing,
you stay in the house
26
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:01,717
and keep watching
these doggone cartoons.
27
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,545
I'm sick of that.
You don't leave the house
28
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,390
between 2:00 and 4:00
because of your soaps.
29
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,305
That's a complicated
relationship about stories.
30
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:09,399
It don't concern you.
31
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,361
All right. Can we talk
about this after Sonic X?
32
00:01:14,057 --> 00:01:15,407
Oh, get on out of here.
33
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:18,794
(car horn honks)
34
00:01:20,272 --> 00:01:23,872
(upbeat music playing)
35
00:01:23,942 --> 00:01:25,492
Oh, no, get out of my seat.
36
00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:27,289
BRYANA: Uh-uh,
I called front seat.
37
00:01:27,362 --> 00:01:28,612
BERNIE: Jordan,
just get in the back.
38
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,049
I can't sit in the back
with her in the front.
39
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:32,485
What will it look like?
40
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:34,217
BERNIE: Hey,
just get in the back.
41
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,644
Get out!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
42
00:01:36,713 --> 00:01:39,213
BERNIE: Jordan,
get in the back seat now, man!
43
00:01:39,291 --> 00:01:41,511
(grunts)
(laughing)
44
00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:42,425
See you, Jordan.
45
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,392
Bye.
46
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,100
Hi, Jason, you need a lift?
47
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:46,890
No, thanks, Mr. Mac.
48
00:01:46,965 --> 00:01:48,225
I walk home.
49
00:01:51,261 --> 00:01:52,651
(blows raspberry)
50
00:01:54,264 --> 00:01:56,314
What's wrong with this boy?
51
00:01:56,391 --> 00:01:58,781
It's like he's regressing,
or something.
52
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,942
I got to take action, America.
53
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,861
If it mean kicking him
in the backside
54
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:05,373
into puberty, so be it.
55
00:02:05,442 --> 00:02:08,292
I got to take action.
56
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,251
Kick his ass like a extra point.
57
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,250
WANDA: Okay, thanks.
58
00:02:15,327 --> 00:02:16,957
Hey, Nessa, dinner's
almost ready.
59
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,457
I'm not hungry.
60
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:19,708
Okay.
61
00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:22,179
(door slams close)
62
00:02:22,259 --> 00:02:24,089
WANDA: Vanessa?
63
00:02:24,169 --> 00:02:25,799
(knocks on door)
64
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,389
WANDA: Are you okay?
65
00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:29,968
No.
66
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,770
WANDA: Honey, I'm coming in.
67
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,697
(upbeat music playing)
68
00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:42,862
Sweetie?
69
00:02:42,938 --> 00:02:44,288
What's the matter?
70
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,704
I don't want to talk about it.
71
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:48,826
(sighs)
72
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:51,292
Okay, is it a boy?
73
00:02:51,363 --> 00:02:53,043
It's about 20 of them.
74
00:02:53,114 --> 00:02:55,504
What?
75
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,215
You can't tell Uncle Bernie.
76
00:02:58,295 --> 00:02:59,365
Okay, well, talk to me.
77
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,166
Okay, well,
you know how sometimes
78
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,838
I go swimming after school?
79
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,106
Mm-hmm.
80
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,594
Well, today a bunch of us
went swimming,
81
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:09,760
and there's this big-mouth
named Andrew Gumpert,
82
00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:13,569
and he dared me
to jump off the high board.
83
00:03:13,644 --> 00:03:16,354
Okay.
So, I couldn't let him show me up.
84
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,813
So, I did a swan dive,
and it was really good.
85
00:03:19,891 --> 00:03:21,831
Okay, good for you. (chuckles)
86
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,402
No, it wasn't.
No?
87
00:03:24,479 --> 00:03:27,859
When I came up
out of the water, my...
88
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,071
my top had fallen off,
89
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:31,910
and everyone saw me topless.
90
00:03:31,987 --> 00:03:35,207
Oh, aw, ouch.
91
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:37,042
I don't think
I can ever go back.
92
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:40,037
Can I transfer?
93
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,840
Ooh, that's rough.
94
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,707
But no, you can't transfer.
95
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:45,761
(groans)
96
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,134
I know it's gonna be
97
00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:48,590
a rough next couple of days,
98
00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:52,270
but pinky swear,
it'll blow over.
99
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,730
(knocks on door)
100
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:56,992
BERNIE: Hey, girls!
101
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,232
What's going on?
102
00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,975
Nothing!
Nothing!
103
00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:02,066
We'll be out!
104
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,522
It'll be okay.
105
00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:09,490
BERNIE: Jordan, you're about
to become a teenager.
106
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:11,486
You have to start
acting more mature.
107
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:13,248
You have to start
acting like it.
108
00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:14,378
Want me to act
like Vanessa?
109
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:15,774
No, I definitely
don't want you to.
110
00:04:15,847 --> 00:04:17,457
I want you to become
more independent,
111
00:04:17,532 --> 00:04:19,172
like your friend, Jason.
112
00:04:19,242 --> 00:04:21,132
I bet he don't fight
over front seats.
113
00:04:21,202 --> 00:04:22,212
Well, that's because
he walks home.
114
00:04:22,287 --> 00:04:23,837
That's my point.
115
00:04:23,913 --> 00:04:25,263
And that's what you're
gonna start doing,
116
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:26,262
starting tomorrow.
117
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,923
You're walking home.
118
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,381
You're becoming a man.
119
00:04:29,461 --> 00:04:30,931
You're gonna let me
walk home?!
120
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,264
Awesome!
121
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,259
How dangerous
can it be, baby?
122
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,891
We live in Encino.
123
00:04:35,967 --> 00:04:37,097
What's the worst thing
that's gon' happen?
124
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,517
He gon' fall in the pool?
125
00:04:38,595 --> 00:04:41,595
Do you really think
he can handle it?
126
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,521
Sweetheart,
when I was his age,
127
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,280
I was all over
the place.
128
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,332
I was on the bus, the el.
129
00:04:47,404 --> 00:04:49,864
I was sitting there,
man, at Smitty's.
130
00:04:49,939 --> 00:04:51,109
Long as I was back in time
131
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,371
to set the table
for Big Mama dinner.
132
00:04:54,444 --> 00:04:56,374
Well, you know he has asthma.
133
00:04:56,446 --> 00:05:00,116
Sweetheart,
we asking him to walk.
134
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,920
Not asking him to run.
135
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,917
The school ain't nothing
but a half a mile away
136
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,459
from the home.
137
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,298
He's gonna be fine.
138
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,715
I don't know, Bernie.
139
00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,304
Well, I know.
140
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:13,679
And that's final.
141
00:05:13,755 --> 00:05:16,305
He's going to be a man someday.
142
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:17,653
He's going to be all right.
143
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,939
(car signal beeping)
144
00:05:21,012 --> 00:05:22,862
(upbeat music playing)
145
00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:27,034
BERNIE: You don't look like
you're ready for school.
146
00:05:27,102 --> 00:05:28,032
WANDA: Uh, she's sick.
147
00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:29,323
She's gonna
stay home today.
148
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,076
VANESSA: (coughs)
149
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:33,326
You weren't sick
all this weekend.
150
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,496
I don't feel no fever.
151
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:43,294
WANDA: That's because
it's a stomach thing.
152
00:05:43,368 --> 00:05:44,728
BERNIE: Oh, yeah?
153
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:48,351
All right, but stay out
of my bathroom, you hear me?
154
00:05:53,294 --> 00:05:54,394
WANDA: Uno mas, por favor.
155
00:05:54,462 --> 00:05:55,642
Don't talk to strangers.
156
00:05:55,713 --> 00:05:57,353
Don't forget
to look both ways
157
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,894
and don't play
with fire ants.
158
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:03,688
Sweetheart, quit treating
the boy like a baby.
159
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,273
The boy knows to come home.
160
00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:06,898
Come straight home after school.
161
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:07,775
Simple as that.
162
00:06:07,859 --> 00:06:08,859
Come straight home.
163
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:09,935
Thank you.
164
00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:11,687
Okay, well,
one last thing.
165
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,661
I bought this medic
alert bracelet
166
00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:15,031
to make sure
that everyone knows
167
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,618
about your allergies, okay?
168
00:06:16,693 --> 00:06:19,703
Now, this one
is "A" through "F,"
169
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,959
and this one is "G"
through "Z," okay?
170
00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:23,751
Sweetheart, that boy
don't want to be wearing no...
171
00:06:23,825 --> 00:06:25,495
Cool! Now I can be
like Wonder Woman!
172
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,891
Plink, plink, plink,
plink, plink!
173
00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:30,168
Mmm. Kiss.
174
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,612
Got to go.
175
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,685
(car horn honking)
ALL: Car!
176
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:38,944
(music playing)
177
00:06:52,437 --> 00:06:53,987
BERNIE: Hey, baby.
Hi.
178
00:06:54,063 --> 00:06:56,533
Um... hi.
179
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,782
Did you know that Jordan
was outside playing football?
180
00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:00,670
Sure do. What do
you think this for?
181
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,331
Football?
182
00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:04,865
Yeah, with Todd
and them.
183
00:07:04,949 --> 00:07:06,459
Todd?
Yeah.
184
00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:08,424
Isn't he the one
that stole his socks?
185
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,175
It sure is.
Oh!
186
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:11,295
No, no, no, no, no, no.
187
00:07:11,372 --> 00:07:12,672
Wanda, Wanda, come here.
188
00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:14,469
They bonded
on the walk home.
189
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,476
I told you.
190
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,054
I told you.
191
00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:20,430
Yeah, you told me.
192
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,177
(chuckles)
193
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,312
Bernie Mac knows
what he's doing.
194
00:07:24,385 --> 00:07:26,235
Jordan's playing football
with the fellas.
195
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,743
I told her that!
196
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,572
Man!
197
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,952
That's sour.
198
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,044
Tart.
199
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,088
Gack!
200
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,834
Tangy.
201
00:07:46,908 --> 00:07:48,218
Yahh!
202
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:49,763
Yahh.
203
00:07:56,918 --> 00:07:59,978
(music playing)
204
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:00,935
Hmm.
205
00:08:03,174 --> 00:08:04,394
I call.
206
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,937
Okay, big fella, what you got?
207
00:08:07,011 --> 00:08:08,191
Full house,
ladies and gentlemen.
208
00:08:08,263 --> 00:08:10,063
Say what? Yes, sir.
209
00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:12,149
Yes, sir.
That's pretty.
210
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,645
Well played.
211
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,106
(others snickering)
212
00:08:15,186 --> 00:08:16,396
"Well played"?
213
00:08:16,479 --> 00:08:18,029
You're into him
214
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,016
for a buck 50.
215
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,449
Where's the sore loser?
216
00:08:20,525 --> 00:08:21,745
The insults, the threats?
217
00:08:21,826 --> 00:08:23,376
You know, the reason
we come here, man.
218
00:08:23,453 --> 00:08:25,253
(laughing)
219
00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:27,121
No, I'm in a great mood, man.
220
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,802
I'm in a great mood, y'all.
221
00:08:30,451 --> 00:08:31,791
Here, Uncle Bernie,
here's your chips.
222
00:08:31,869 --> 00:08:33,019
Thank you.
223
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,296
And that's the reason why,
right there.
224
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,131
What, you taught
him to fetch?
225
00:08:36,207 --> 00:08:37,047
(laughing)
226
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,515
I'm kidding.
That's foul.
227
00:08:38,593 --> 00:08:40,643
BERNIE: Hey, son, tell the guys
what you been doing.
228
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,636
I played football
with the fellas.
229
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:44,308
I was the designated hiker.
230
00:08:44,382 --> 00:08:45,852
(chuckling)
231
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,555
He's walking home
from school now,
232
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,269
so he's playing sports
afterwards with all the guys.
233
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,320
Uh-huh, and tomorrow
234
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,608
they're actually
gonna throw me the ball.
235
00:08:52,682 --> 00:08:54,322
All right guys.
I got to go rest up.
236
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,451
Good night.
237
00:08:55,527 --> 00:08:56,577
All right now,
little man.
238
00:08:56,653 --> 00:08:58,203
See you, big fella.
239
00:08:59,897 --> 00:09:01,237
MAN: All right, man,
I remember them days
240
00:09:01,316 --> 00:09:02,406
walking home, boy,
241
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,277
and we used to set it off.
242
00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:04,479
Yeah, we had fun.
243
00:09:04,561 --> 00:09:05,371
MAN: Them practical
jokes, man.
244
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:06,695
I remember this one time, man,
245
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:07,749
I had this neighbor
I didn't like.
246
00:09:07,822 --> 00:09:09,792
So, I took their
mailbox, right?
247
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:10,996
And then when
they bought a new one,
248
00:09:11,075 --> 00:09:13,175
I waited a couple days,
stole that one
249
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,213
and put the old one back.
250
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,548
Classics!
251
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,213
Criminal, son.
252
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,045
Federal. (laughing)
253
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:23,546
Hey, but we didn't have
no doggone mailboxes, man.
254
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,260
We'd just take the mailman.
255
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:28,190
(laughing)
256
00:09:29,594 --> 00:09:31,524
And that's why I'm pretty sure
257
00:09:31,596 --> 00:09:32,776
she's into me.
258
00:09:32,856 --> 00:09:36,186
Dude, Sister Lois
is not into you.
259
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:37,437
You know what?
260
00:09:37,518 --> 00:09:39,858
Let's just agree to disagree.
261
00:09:39,937 --> 00:09:41,777
You know what, guys?
I been thinking.
262
00:09:41,856 --> 00:09:43,866
We should set it off.
263
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,025
Oh, man.
264
00:09:45,109 --> 00:09:46,909
Set what off?
265
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,326
Set what off?
266
00:09:48,404 --> 00:09:50,044
(sighs)
(music playing)
267
00:09:50,114 --> 00:09:52,014
(doorbell rings)
268
00:09:53,451 --> 00:09:54,551
(door opens)
269
00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:57,255
SINGER: ♪ Cool Jerk ♪
270
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:01,048
♪ Cool Jerk ♪
Hello?
271
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:01,865
(knocks on door)
272
00:10:01,952 --> 00:10:03,812
SINGER: ♪ Cool Jerk ♪
273
00:10:04,629 --> 00:10:07,059
♪ Cool Jerk ♪
274
00:10:07,131 --> 00:10:10,431
♪ We know a cat who canreally do the Cool Jerk! ♪
275
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,980
Hello?
276
00:10:13,054 --> 00:10:14,404
SINGER: ♪ We know a catwho can really dothe Cool Jerk ♪
277
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:17,071
(whispers) Go, go, go!
278
00:10:17,141 --> 00:10:18,831
SINGER: ♪ Well... ♪
(doorbell rings)
279
00:10:18,902 --> 00:10:20,402
SINGER: ♪ This catthey talkin' about ♪
280
00:10:20,478 --> 00:10:22,238
I must be losing my mind.
SINGER: ♪ I wonder ♪
281
00:10:22,313 --> 00:10:24,033
♪ Who could it be? ♪
282
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,001
♪ 'Cause I knowI'm the happiest cat ♪
283
00:10:26,076 --> 00:10:27,366
(snickering)
284
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,657
SINGER: ♪ The happiest cat ♪
285
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,160
♪ You ever did see! ♪
286
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,828
That was hilarious.
287
00:10:31,906 --> 00:10:33,406
Man, I seriously thought
that old lady
288
00:10:33,491 --> 00:10:34,961
was going to hear me laughing.
289
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:36,064
You know what?
290
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,375
We have to do that
to Mr. Meanie.
291
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:41,255
You mean that guy
on your block?
292
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,716
The one that
keeps every ball
293
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:44,552
that lands on his yard?
294
00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:46,257
No way.
295
00:10:46,337 --> 00:10:47,547
That guy's nuts.
296
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:48,470
JORDAN: I can't.
297
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,438
It's too far.
298
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,767
If I get home too late,
my Uncle Bernie
299
00:10:51,843 --> 00:10:53,063
won't let me walk anymore.
300
00:10:53,136 --> 00:10:54,556
Oh.
301
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,981
But maybe I can get around
302
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:57,355
that tomorrow.
303
00:10:57,432 --> 00:10:58,942
All right!
304
00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:00,616
Yeah, yeah.
305
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,123
BERNIE: Hey, what you doing
with my old pillows on?
306
00:11:07,191 --> 00:11:09,081
The guys are letting me
play goalie.
307
00:11:09,152 --> 00:11:10,382
Street hockey?
308
00:11:11,654 --> 00:11:13,164
You see this?
309
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,329
Just a few days ago,
he was friendless.
310
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:19,128
I mean watching cartoons,
fighting with his baby sister.
311
00:11:19,203 --> 00:11:22,603
Now this man is breaking down
all racial barriers
312
00:11:22,674 --> 00:11:24,974
and playing goalie.
313
00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:28,102
My man. My man.
314
00:11:29,714 --> 00:11:32,324
And tomorrow,
we're playing basketball.
315
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,812
Hold up.
316
00:11:33,885 --> 00:11:36,515
You mean to tell me
you're playing basketball,
317
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,606
hockey and football
318
00:11:38,690 --> 00:11:41,320
all in one week?
319
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,646
Oh.
320
00:11:42,727 --> 00:11:44,617
Oh, my heart is still beating.
321
00:11:44,696 --> 00:11:46,486
Oh, my God.
322
00:11:46,564 --> 00:11:48,204
Too bad I can't play, though.
323
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,448
You keep on practicing,
you'll hit some baskets.
324
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,431
JORDAN: No, it's just that
325
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,083
they're playing at Todd's house,
326
00:11:54,155 --> 00:11:56,905
and you said I have
to come straight home.
327
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,035
BERNIE: Well, don't you worry
about what I said.
328
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,758
You go on over
to Todd's house,
329
00:12:00,837 --> 00:12:03,137
and, uh , hey,
330
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:04,670
you go on and play.
331
00:12:04,749 --> 00:12:06,349
You hear me?
332
00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:10,052
Hey, what are you all
using for a puck?
333
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,639
Okay, see now,
334
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,218
this contradicts
the beginning.
335
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,109
Check it out.
336
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:17,643
Aunt Wanda?
337
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:18,590
Yeah?
338
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,402
Can I borrow your Cosmo?
339
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,867
Uh, yeah, it's right
next to my bed.
340
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:23,992
Thanks.
341
00:12:27,605 --> 00:12:29,025
She ain't sick.
342
00:12:29,106 --> 00:12:30,946
I know sick.
343
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,209
Honey, I said
I would handle it.
344
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:38,580
Well, Wanda,
you handle it, okay?
345
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:41,038
Okay.
'Cause she ain't sick.
346
00:12:41,118 --> 00:12:44,088
These eyes--I see everything.
347
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,393
And I know sick when I see it.
348
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:47,926
Don't nothing get past me.
349
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,224
JORDAN: TP?
350
00:12:51,295 --> 00:12:52,645
Two rolls of two-ply.
351
00:12:52,722 --> 00:12:54,442
Eggs?
Check.
352
00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:56,266
Matches?
353
00:12:57,802 --> 00:12:58,902
Check.
354
00:12:59,637 --> 00:13:00,397
Dog poop?
355
00:13:02,223 --> 00:13:04,733
Check.
356
00:13:04,809 --> 00:13:06,189
Oh, man, I'm in trouble.
357
00:13:06,269 --> 00:13:07,359
What happened?
358
00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:09,397
I grabbed my dad's lunch
by mistake.
359
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,700
(laughing)
360
00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:11,863
JORDAN: Oh, man.
361
00:13:11,941 --> 00:13:14,951
All right,
Operation Mr. Meanie is a go.
362
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:17,747
All we need to do
is see a dog about some poo.
363
00:13:17,822 --> 00:13:19,712
(chuckles) Yeah.
364
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,456
VANESSA: They're still
talking about it?
365
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,035
Ugh! I am so humiliated.
366
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,750
I don't think I can ever
go back to school.
367
00:13:26,831 --> 00:13:28,551
Nessa?
368
00:13:28,624 --> 00:13:29,764
Are you finally gonna tell me
369
00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:31,434
what's going on around here?
370
00:13:32,503 --> 00:13:35,013
I'll call you back.
371
00:13:35,089 --> 00:13:37,429
Baby, what's going on?
372
00:13:37,508 --> 00:13:38,778
(sighs)
373
00:13:41,846 --> 00:13:44,766
Oh, Nessa, come on.
374
00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:46,449
They saw all of it?
375
00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:50,066
You didn't have
the right size on or something?
376
00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:52,116
You're not making me feel
any better.
377
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,568
I'm not trying
to make you feel bad.
378
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:55,870
They saw all of it?
379
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:58,163
(doorbell rings)
380
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:00,957
You-you know what, I-I'm gonna
let you
381
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,036
and your Aunt Wanda
handle this.
382
00:14:02,116 --> 00:14:03,916
This is over my head.
383
00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:06,673
Going to be all
on the bathroom wall.
384
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:07,546
Oh!
385
00:14:08,372 --> 00:14:09,312
(doorbell rings)
386
00:14:13,628 --> 00:14:15,938
I knew she was faking.
387
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:19,807
Hey, Mr. Martin,
how are you doing?
388
00:14:19,884 --> 00:14:21,074
What can I do for you?
Listen,
389
00:14:21,144 --> 00:14:23,364
I caught your boy here
vandalizing my property.
390
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:25,529
No, that can't be.
391
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,147
He was playing basketball
with his friends.
392
00:14:27,224 --> 00:14:28,614
MR. MARTIN:
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
393
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:29,904
Uh, there were five of them,
394
00:14:29,977 --> 00:14:32,037
and this one was the slowest.
395
00:14:34,732 --> 00:14:36,782
Come on in here, boy.
396
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:39,239
Right now,
come on in here.
397
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,460
I guess he's lying
on you, too, huh?
398
00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:44,461
Thank you, Mr. Martin,
I really appreciate it.
399
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:45,573
I'm sorry.
400
00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:51,340
I should have known
he wasn't playing
401
00:14:51,415 --> 00:14:52,505
all those sports!
402
00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:55,693
No, America, he was playing me.
403
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,182
Exploiting my deepest desires.
404
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:02,019
That's the only way
he got past the all-seeing eye.
405
00:15:02,093 --> 00:15:03,853
America, there ain't no way
406
00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:06,058
he's gonna get past
the backhand.
407
00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:08,148
Got me in trouble
with Mr. Meanie.
408
00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:10,364
You saw him
when he came to the door.
409
00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:11,694
You saw his face.
410
00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:13,139
Scared the hell out of me.
411
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:15,032
I ain't never been scared
of a white man,
412
00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:16,916
since I saw Roots.
413
00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:22,955
How'd it go?
414
00:15:23,039 --> 00:15:25,579
The boy was singing
like a damn canary.
415
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,678
Gave up all his accomplices.
416
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:29,552
I called all the parents.
417
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:32,367
WANDA: Well,
at least I'm relieved
418
00:15:32,449 --> 00:15:34,559
he won't be walking
to school anymore.
419
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,734
Oh, he's walking
to school.
420
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,263
But I guarantee he won't be
pulling
421
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:39,967
that Mr. Meanie stuff
no more,
422
00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:42,057
and he's gonna be
sleeping on his belly.
423
00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:45,233
You're gonna make him
walk after all?
424
00:15:45,302 --> 00:15:46,692
Sure am.
425
00:15:46,762 --> 00:15:47,652
He's walking.
426
00:15:47,722 --> 00:15:49,612
Look, sweetheart,
427
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,732
you can't keep
coddling the boy.
428
00:15:51,809 --> 00:15:55,069
You can't keep
treating him like Nessa.
429
00:15:55,146 --> 00:15:56,446
You don't even know
what it's like
430
00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:58,081
to be a teenage girl.
431
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:01,487
Sweetheart, I'm sorry
the boys saw her, too.
432
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:02,739
Believe me, I am.
433
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,504
But she can't
hide forever.
434
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:07,870
She's gonna have
to face the boys sooner or later.
435
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:10,424
And later
is now, okay?
436
00:16:10,494 --> 00:16:12,604
She's going
to school tomorrow.
437
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,512
Hmm, Yeah, you got a point,
438
00:16:14,590 --> 00:16:16,920
and she is going back
to school tomorrow.
439
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:18,431
Thank you.
440
00:16:18,502 --> 00:16:19,972
And for the boys?
441
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,596
They're going
to see Mr. Meanie.
442
00:16:21,672 --> 00:16:24,322
And they're going to make up
for that mess they made.
443
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:30,442
JASON: Great!
Now I'm gonna smell like soap all day.
444
00:16:30,514 --> 00:16:32,124
JORDAN: Come on, guys.
It's not that bad.
445
00:16:32,975 --> 00:16:35,395
JASON: Do me
a favor, Snitch.
446
00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:37,528
Don't talk to me.
447
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:38,609
JORDAN: It's not my fault.
448
00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:40,949
My Uncle Bernie breaks me down.
449
00:16:41,025 --> 00:16:42,525
(sighs) He knows
how to make a man talk.
450
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:44,620
He gets into my head.
He uses tactics.
451
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,909
TODD: Well, I know
how to make a man shut up.
452
00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:48,119
Now shut up.
453
00:16:48,199 --> 00:16:50,579
MR. MARTIN: Uh, excuse me.
454
00:16:50,659 --> 00:16:53,719
A little less chatter,
a little more elbow.
455
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,731
(bell rings)
456
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,144
Hey, Snitch.
457
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,309
I think I saw someone
run down the hall.
458
00:17:06,383 --> 00:17:08,273
Maybe you wanna
tell your Uncle.
459
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:10,574
See you on the walk home.
460
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,606
But it wasn't my fault.
461
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,645
You know how Uncle Bernie
breaks you down.
462
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,820
(sighs) He uses tactics.
463
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,148
What was I supposed to do?
464
00:17:18,229 --> 00:17:20,029
Lie.
465
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,276
All right, back up.
466
00:17:21,357 --> 00:17:22,667
Something might jump out.
467
00:17:25,820 --> 00:17:27,120
Hmm.
468
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:29,546
Maybe they're not
as mad as I thought.
469
00:17:32,076 --> 00:17:33,176
STUDENT: Rat!
470
00:17:36,831 --> 00:17:38,511
Oh...
471
00:17:38,582 --> 00:17:40,102
(car horn honking)
472
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,649
(upbeat music playing)
473
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,016
(grunts)
474
00:17:53,097 --> 00:17:54,607
Hey, what happened to you?
475
00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:56,362
Rough day in gym.
476
00:17:56,433 --> 00:17:57,363
Dodgeball.
477
00:17:57,435 --> 00:17:59,185
Took one right in the knee.
478
00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:01,410
I don't think I'll be able
to walk home today.
479
00:18:02,439 --> 00:18:04,569
Maybe we need
to check that out.
480
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,994
No, no. I just need
to soak it when I get home.
481
00:18:07,069 --> 00:18:09,789
Hey, what's he doing
in my seat?
482
00:18:09,864 --> 00:18:12,344
Front seat.
483
00:18:19,039 --> 00:18:22,139
(TV chatter)
484
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:28,733
BOTH: Hey!
485
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,138
Jordan, why you not outside?
486
00:18:31,218 --> 00:18:32,768
You know,
you should be outside playing.
487
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,065
What you stuck in here for?
488
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,227
I'd rather catch up
on my 'toons.
489
00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:38,607
WANDA: Hey, guys.
490
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,588
Royal Burgers!
491
00:18:39,669 --> 00:18:41,239
Royal Burger!
Royal Burger!
492
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:49,081
Did you see that boy take out
of here like a bat out of hell?
493
00:18:49,153 --> 00:18:50,913
Leg didn't look hurt to me.
494
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:52,712
Did it to you all, America?
495
00:18:52,781 --> 00:18:56,631
Uh-uh. Hell, no.
496
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:57,642
(chuckles)
497
00:18:59,079 --> 00:19:01,299
That Royal Burger
must work miracles.
498
00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:03,673
I sure don't see no limp.
499
00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:04,931
Oh, uh, yeah.
500
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,256
It comes and goes.
501
00:19:06,337 --> 00:19:10,597
I'm gonna need
a ride home tomorrow, too.
502
00:19:10,674 --> 00:19:12,024
Ow, ow.
503
00:19:12,092 --> 00:19:13,302
Ow!
504
00:19:13,378 --> 00:19:14,898
All right,
give it to me straight.
505
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,439
What's going on
around here?
506
00:19:16,513 --> 00:19:17,293
Who, Snitch?
507
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,434
What are you saying?
508
00:19:18,508 --> 00:19:20,148
That's what everybody
calls him at school
509
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,386
for telling on his friends.
510
00:19:21,469 --> 00:19:24,029
Oh, he'll get over it, trust me.
511
00:19:24,104 --> 00:19:28,074
So I guess
this little thing here is kind of like gone?
512
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:29,910
VANESSA: Pretty much.
See, Andrew Gumpert
513
00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:31,075
got beat up by his sister
514
00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:32,163
in front of everyone.
515
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,198
So now the whole school's
516
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:34,590
talking about it.
517
00:19:34,665 --> 00:19:37,365
You got off the hook
kind of nice.
518
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,575
VANESSA: Real nice.
519
00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:40,551
(laughs)
520
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:41,710
(laughs)
521
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,469
(upbeat music playing)
522
00:19:47,711 --> 00:19:48,711
Let me in.
523
00:19:50,506 --> 00:19:52,766
I'm not opening
the door, Jordan.
524
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,675
But my leg. Ow.
525
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,100
Look, I know you boys
been making a big deal out
526
00:19:57,179 --> 00:19:58,349
of this snitching thing.
527
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,110
Evidently, snitching runs
528
00:20:00,191 --> 00:20:01,411
in this family.
529
00:20:01,484 --> 00:20:03,454
Hurry. They're coming.
Let me in!
530
00:20:03,527 --> 00:20:05,107
BERNIE: You have
to face those boys.
531
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:08,197
Once you start running,
you'll never stop.
532
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:09,784
And I'm okay with that.
533
00:20:09,858 --> 00:20:11,488
BERNIE: Jordan,
I'm the one who wanted you
534
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,912
to walk home in the first place
535
00:20:13,988 --> 00:20:15,788
because I wanted you to grow up,
536
00:20:15,864 --> 00:20:19,504
and part of growing up
is facing your fears.
537
00:20:19,576 --> 00:20:21,336
Okay, but if I'm not home
in an hour,
538
00:20:21,412 --> 00:20:23,472
come looking for me, please.
539
00:20:23,547 --> 00:20:25,587
Hey, guys, I got lemonheads.
540
00:20:25,666 --> 00:20:27,176
Who cares, Snitch?
541
00:20:29,378 --> 00:20:31,848
SINGER: ♪ I knowwe can make it work ♪
542
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,966
♪ I know we can make itif we try... ♪
543
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,274
All right, America.
544
00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:39,864
That's probably gonna be
the longest walk home
545
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,559
of Jordan's life.
546
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,020
But also, it's gonna be
a big step forward
547
00:20:44,101 --> 00:20:46,151
to him becoming a man.
548
00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:48,528
Besides, you know how kids are.
549
00:20:48,605 --> 00:20:51,195
They probably just
roughed him up a little bit,
550
00:20:51,275 --> 00:20:52,485
and by the time they get home,
551
00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:55,238
they'd be the best
of friends again.
552
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,411
(door opens)
553
00:20:56,488 --> 00:20:57,958
Hey, Jordan, how'd it go?
554
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:02,710
You tell me.
555
00:21:02,786 --> 00:21:04,246
BERNIE: Oh, man,
556
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,590
they'll get over it.
557
00:21:06,665 --> 00:21:08,045
A few days.
558
00:21:08,125 --> 00:21:09,875
A week tops.
559
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,350
Maybe a month.
560
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:15,761
The longest a guy
stopped talking to me,
561
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,391
I think, it was one year.
562
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,062
I asked him for a ride
on his bike.
563
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,810
He said, "My mama said,
'Don't let nobody ride
564
00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:21,848
on the bike .'"
565
00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:22,810
I said, "I'm going to the corner
566
00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:23,940
and come back."
567
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,476
I went three blocks.
568
00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:28,189
His mother saw me on the bike.
569
00:21:28,270 --> 00:21:30,240
Whopped his behind.
570
00:21:30,314 --> 00:21:32,784
You know, back then,
we had spankings, you know.
571
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:35,578
That boy wouldn't speak to me
for over a year.
572
00:21:35,652 --> 00:21:36,592
MAN: Cut!
573
00:21:37,913 --> 00:21:39,043
(chuckles)
574
00:21:39,114 --> 00:21:40,884
They something else.
575
00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:49,524
Captioned by Visual Data
576
00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:54,124
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