All language subtitles for The Bernie Mac Show s04e10 Manchild in Vanessa Land.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:05,707 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:20,427 (up-tempo music playing) 3 00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:24,014 Vanessa, Bryana thinks I can't whip both of you in Sorry. 4 00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:25,681 Who cares? 5 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:29,779 Okay, I'll just tell her you don't have time for us anymore. 6 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,345 She's older now. 7 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,861 Maybe she'll take it better than she did last week. 8 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,858 Okay, okay, maybe tomorrow. 9 00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,366 Promise? (scoffs) 10 00:00:41,733 --> 00:00:43,783 Damn. (moans) 11 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:45,330 You know, you make me want to jump. 12 00:00:45,403 --> 00:00:47,303 (chuckles) 13 00:00:47,372 --> 00:00:49,162 Ooh. 14 00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:50,961 Don't you know how to knock? 15 00:00:51,034 --> 00:00:52,754 There's no doors. 16 00:00:52,828 --> 00:00:55,298 So I finished my homework, emptied the wastebasket, 17 00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:59,050 loaded the dishwasher and folded all the clothes. 18 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,556 Can I go to the mall with my friends? 19 00:01:00,636 --> 00:01:03,056 I guess so, as long as you be back for dinner, okay? 20 00:01:03,138 --> 00:01:04,188 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 21 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,724 Come on now. Let me look at you. 22 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,099 You look cute. (giggles) 23 00:01:08,176 --> 00:01:10,846 Ah, a subtle trace of je ne sais quoi. 24 00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:13,239 Is one of your friends a boy? 25 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,978 Wait just a damn minute. 26 00:01:18,061 --> 00:01:19,901 That's what all this homework, 27 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,570 and "I loaded the dishwasher, 28 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:25,028 I done mopped the floor," and all that kind of stuff. 29 00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:26,750 You setting us up, man. 30 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,128 You trying to go on a date. 31 00:01:29,206 --> 00:01:31,076 I'm too young to date, remember? 32 00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,248 You got that right. 33 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:33,915 I'm just going to the mall. 34 00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:35,844 You ain't going nowhere. 35 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,091 But you just said that I could go. 36 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,595 I changed my mind. You're not going anywhere. 37 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,596 (scoffs) 38 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,930 America! You see how crazy she talks to me? 39 00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,019 In my own house. 40 00:01:51,094 --> 00:01:53,484 She's lucky she's not a man. 41 00:01:53,555 --> 00:01:56,975 I bet I'd check that chin, pow, pow, pow, bam. 42 00:01:57,058 --> 00:01:58,528 ♪ Go to sleep... ♪ 43 00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:01,496 Through the shoulder. Yah! Pow, pow! 44 00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:05,422 ♪ Go to sleep, go to sleep... ♪ 45 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,619 Oh, that was nice. She's still upset. 46 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,261 She'll get over it. 47 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,337 Well, you know what, honey? Vanessa is getting older, 48 00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:21,633 and I think we should do a better job of accepting that 49 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,638 and maybe give her a little more room. 50 00:02:24,794 --> 00:02:26,264 Little more room to do what? 51 00:02:26,338 --> 00:02:29,468 Well, like this date. 52 00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,889 Why don't we have the little boy come over here? 53 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,392 We can invite him to dinner. 54 00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:35,200 That way, we get to meet the little boy 55 00:02:35,272 --> 00:02:38,532 and decide if we like him before it goes any further. 56 00:02:38,609 --> 00:02:40,159 Further? 57 00:02:40,235 --> 00:02:43,445 What I mean is, we don't want her sneaking around, okay? 58 00:02:43,521 --> 00:02:45,361 And I'm a little tired of watching you two 59 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,200 go back and forth on a daily basis. 60 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:50,659 Okay, America, I'll let the boy come by. 61 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:54,041 Get his little grub on, then I'm laying down the law. 62 00:02:54,115 --> 00:02:56,995 And it won't be nobody three strikes you're out, either. 63 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,877 Uh-uh. One strike. 64 00:02:58,954 --> 00:03:00,344 One strike, you're toast. 65 00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,473 Like a umpire? Out of there! 66 00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:05,519 Whew! 67 00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:11,438 He's here! This is gonna be good. 68 00:03:11,516 --> 00:03:13,726 Why? Because Uncle Bernie's gonna hate him. 69 00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:14,770 I hate him already. 70 00:03:14,844 --> 00:03:15,944 Bernie! What? 71 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:19,361 Vanessa, I think your friend is here! 72 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:20,952 Bernie, don't intimidate the boy. 73 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:23,946 I'm not going to intimidate the boy, baby. Calm down. 74 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,399 (doorbell rings) For Vanessa's sake. 75 00:03:26,481 --> 00:03:28,211 (mutters) Give me a kiss. 76 00:03:29,484 --> 00:03:31,964 (up-tempo music playing) 77 00:03:35,156 --> 00:03:36,406 BERNIE: Oh, it's a false alarm. 78 00:03:36,491 --> 00:03:37,671 What can I do for you, brother? 79 00:03:37,742 --> 00:03:40,642 I'm Raheem. I'm here for Vanessa. 80 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,763 (hip-hop playing) 81 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,297 (coughs) Irie. 82 00:03:46,376 --> 00:03:48,226 Now puff upon it so. 83 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,887 WANDA: Ooh, honey, what...?! 84 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,729 You see that grown man? 85 00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:00,364 What are you talking about? He goes to my school. 86 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,650 What, on the G.I. Bill? You see his feet? 87 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,360 That boy's feet, man, he's wearing the box. Bernie, stop. 88 00:04:05,437 --> 00:04:07,447 Raheem, welcome. 89 00:04:07,522 --> 00:04:09,112 Come on in. My husband, he's a comedian. 90 00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:12,130 Yeah. Yuk-yuk. Right this way. 91 00:04:12,202 --> 00:04:14,452 We don't have enough food to feed him! 92 00:04:14,529 --> 00:04:17,259 That big some of a... 93 00:04:18,283 --> 00:04:20,253 Ms. Mac, that was delicious. 94 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,387 Why thank you, Raheem. Yeah, it was, yeah. 95 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:23,892 Vanessa made the gravy herself. 96 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,214 I love gravy. 97 00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:26,590 (giggles) Me, too. 98 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,926 Sweetheart, you're excused. 99 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,522 Go and put your pajamas on. 100 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:34,768 Well, so what are your plans for college, sir? 101 00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:37,680 Oh, I'm currently being scouted by several Division-One schools. 102 00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:40,061 No kidding? JORDAN: Oh, yeah? 103 00:04:40,138 --> 00:04:42,318 And what if your little hoop dream doesn't work out? 104 00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:43,909 Then what? Huh? Huh? 105 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:47,494 Well, uh, I've managed to maintain a 3.2 average, 106 00:04:47,562 --> 00:04:49,612 so I'm going to college no matter what. 107 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:52,119 You know, I just kind of hope basketball will help pay for it. 108 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,702 WANDA: Yeah. What's your major? 109 00:04:54,778 --> 00:04:56,178 Probably business. 110 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,918 Something that'll help me take care of my family. 111 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,290 Okay, the boy give good answers. 112 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,171 But could it all be a game, my man? 113 00:05:06,248 --> 00:05:09,668 'Cause I mean slick talk. You know what I'm saying? 114 00:05:09,751 --> 00:05:12,681 So can we go out for ice cream? 115 00:05:12,754 --> 00:05:15,614 I don't know. I'm kind of full. 116 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,272 Yeah, you're full, all right. 117 00:05:17,342 --> 00:05:18,732 Okay. 118 00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:21,940 Only place that's open is Tony's on Ventura Boulevard, 119 00:05:22,013 --> 00:05:23,273 and her curfew's at ten. 120 00:05:23,348 --> 00:05:24,558 Ten? Ten. 121 00:05:24,641 --> 00:05:26,951 I'll have her back by 9:55, sir. 122 00:05:28,853 --> 00:05:30,953 (The Streets: "Sharp Darts" playing) 123 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,211 ♪ Sharp darts spitting masters spitting darts faster ♪ 124 00:05:33,283 --> 00:05:34,583 ♪ Shut up, I'm the driver you're the passenger ♪ 125 00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:36,749 ♪ My brain's superior ♪ 126 00:05:36,828 --> 00:05:38,498 ♪ Pressure blows the dial on your barometer ♪ 127 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,501 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. (laughs) 128 00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:42,473 I'll walk you to the door. 129 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,422 You don't need any pocket change or anything like that? 130 00:05:44,494 --> 00:05:46,424 No, sir. What do your father do for a living? 131 00:05:46,496 --> 00:05:49,376 (down-tempo music playing) 132 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,671 Y'all have a good time. 133 00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:52,971 Mr. Mac, sir? Yes, sir? 134 00:05:53,044 --> 00:05:54,684 Can I have my license back now? 135 00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,024 Oh... 136 00:05:59,008 --> 00:05:59,968 There you go. Thank you. 137 00:06:00,051 --> 00:06:03,021 But don't forget, 9:55. 138 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,516 Yes, sir. 9:55. 139 00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,988 Okay, let's go. Okay. 140 00:06:10,311 --> 00:06:11,791 WANDA: See you, Nessa. 141 00:06:12,364 --> 00:06:13,204 (car doors shut) 142 00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,623 (car starts) 143 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:18,091 (music playing) 144 00:06:20,655 --> 00:06:22,865 ("Sharp Darts" playing) 145 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,423 ♪ In five hundred years they'll play this song... ♪ 146 00:06:24,501 --> 00:06:26,631 What are you doing? I'll be right back. 147 00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:28,387 Cops come, blow the horn. 148 00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:32,139 Wha...? Bring me some chips! 149 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:35,807 ♪ The jury voted unanimously against ya... ♪ (sighs) 150 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,468 You're actually letting them go? 151 00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,230 Whatever happened to parental oversight? 152 00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:44,072 Tsk! What? 153 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:47,402 Go on to your room! 154 00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,164 Brush your teeth first. 155 00:06:50,986 --> 00:06:53,066 Come on, honey. Yeah. 156 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,536 She'll be okay. 157 00:06:59,277 --> 00:07:01,787 (horns honking) 158 00:07:01,863 --> 00:07:03,633 (cheering) 159 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,546 Hey, I'm outside waiting all in the front. 160 00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:18,221 Who knew this was gonna go into overtime? 161 00:07:18,296 --> 00:07:19,716 Let's go, Bobcats! 162 00:07:19,797 --> 00:07:23,477 Hey, down in front! All right, chillax! 163 00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:27,061 Raheem just scored the last seven points in regulation. 164 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,482 He's the biggest guy out there. 165 00:07:28,556 --> 00:07:29,776 Look at him. 166 00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,776 Don't be such a player hater. 167 00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:35,203 I'm not hating. 168 00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,126 (whistle blows) 169 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:44,753 (fans booing) 170 00:07:44,822 --> 00:07:46,462 Well, he got fouled, huh? 171 00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,593 This is gonna determine what he's made of. 172 00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:49,748 That's going to show what kind of pressure... 173 00:07:49,827 --> 00:07:51,217 Shh! 174 00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,509 STUDENT: Whoo! 175 00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,814 (cheering) 176 00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,967 It don't mean nothing. 177 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,889 He got to hit this one. This is the one that counts. 178 00:08:04,968 --> 00:08:07,188 Don't mean a thing if he don't hit this thing. 179 00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:11,489 He hit it. 180 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,834 (buzzer sounds) 181 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,081 Pretty good. 182 00:08:23,778 --> 00:08:25,788 (up-tempo music playing) 183 00:08:25,863 --> 00:08:28,833 I just can't find nothing on the punk. 184 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,922 Plus he hit both his free throws, man. 185 00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:33,844 Thereby making yours truly 50 bucks, 186 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:35,383 you know, after over and under. 187 00:08:35,456 --> 00:08:36,836 (chuckles) 188 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,510 Come on, now you mean to tell me 189 00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,085 you bet on the high school game? 190 00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:43,509 Hey, man, action is action. Shoot. I fold. 191 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,850 Well, look, I just don't like the idea 192 00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:48,425 of our Vanessa dating some older-- 193 00:08:48,511 --> 00:08:49,691 Me, neither. Me, neither. 194 00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:51,152 Me, neither. Me neither, man. 195 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,981 Hold on, hold on, hold on, man. For real! 196 00:08:53,057 --> 00:08:54,267 You guys are judging a book by its cover, ain't you? 197 00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:55,730 I was a big kid. 198 00:08:55,810 --> 00:08:57,360 Oh, you mean to tell me you weren't getting 199 00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,787 your freak on in high school? 200 00:08:58,664 --> 00:09:01,414 I was a dawg. Straight up. (barks) 201 00:09:01,482 --> 00:09:03,072 (laughter) 202 00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,411 Come on, man, that ain't funny, man, when it's your own. 203 00:09:05,486 --> 00:09:07,196 You right, you right. Sorry. 204 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,160 The only way I can see that cat dating Nessa, man, 205 00:09:10,241 --> 00:09:12,041 is right here under this roof 206 00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:14,678 where I can spot him every eight minutes, see? 207 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:18,304 As a matter of fact, his eight minutes up. 208 00:09:18,374 --> 00:09:20,384 Get on him! Get on him! 209 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,760 Gosh! 210 00:09:21,836 --> 00:09:23,466 Hey, I'm gonna look at his cards, man. 211 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,770 (laughing) 212 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,636 You know, I don't understand 213 00:09:27,717 --> 00:09:28,977 why Mrs. Schaffer makes such a big deal 214 00:09:29,052 --> 00:09:31,352 about a stupid bibliography anyway. 215 00:09:31,429 --> 00:09:32,729 But if you have it, you're going 216 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:33,895 to get mad love on your final grade. 217 00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,773 Last year, I got an A-minus 218 00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:37,900 just for turning in three footnotes. 219 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:40,277 Did you hear that, America? 220 00:09:40,355 --> 00:09:41,785 An A-minus? 221 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,083 Dare I dream? 222 00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:47,340 Come on, Vanessa, you promised us a game today. 223 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:48,922 Get lost, Jordan. 224 00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:51,507 But you said... BERNIE: Scat, boy. 225 00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:53,223 You see her working on an A-minus. 226 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,463 In what, "Broken Promises 101?" 227 00:09:55,536 --> 00:09:58,046 Scat. (groans) 228 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:05,391 Okay, well it looks like you all got jacked! 229 00:10:05,463 --> 00:10:06,783 Give me my money. 230 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:10,386 Come on, man. Oh! Please, please, 231 00:10:10,468 --> 00:10:12,518 get your hands off the riches, 232 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:16,859 'cause smooth Mac Man is walking with a pair of pretty la... 233 00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:19,573 Uncle Bernie? Hey, baby. Hey, hey, hey. 234 00:10:19,644 --> 00:10:21,444 I just wanted to say good night, sir. 235 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:22,781 Oh, good night, son. 236 00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,605 Good night. Yo, yo, Raheem... 237 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:26,621 man, how's that kid's ankle, man? 238 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,453 Is he gonna be ready for Mt. Holly? 239 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,498 Would you stop? You always looking for an edge, aren't you? 240 00:10:30,571 --> 00:10:32,551 Aw, man, hey! Excuse me? 241 00:10:32,624 --> 00:10:35,634 Don't pay him no attention. We really was in here, we were talking about you. 242 00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,336 You know something? I noticed something. 243 00:10:37,412 --> 00:10:38,542 I'm impressed. 244 00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:40,631 You got game, boy. 245 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,337 Thank you, Mr. Mac. 246 00:10:42,417 --> 00:10:43,797 I heard you used to ball them up back in the day, too. 247 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:45,336 You better believe... W.B.: Oh, please. 248 00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:47,400 I don't know where you could have heard that from. 249 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,182 Yeah, son, who told you that lie? 250 00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:51,217 I got all kinds, baby. CHUY: Whoa, whoa. Hold on, hold on. 251 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:55,140 Sounds like somebody's trying to call somebody a scrub. 252 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,721 W.B.: Ooh... 253 00:10:56,798 --> 00:10:58,478 Hey, first of all, you've got your people mixed up. 254 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:01,278 The only scrub up in this room is W.B. 255 00:11:01,352 --> 00:11:02,832 Oh, ho, ho... 256 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,700 Please. Pine rider. 257 00:11:05,773 --> 00:11:07,713 Let me tell you something, man. 258 00:11:07,784 --> 00:11:09,284 I'll beat you in doodles. 259 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,660 Oh, challenge! 260 00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,658 I've got... I've got a ball in the car. 261 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,750 Uh-oh. With some air in it? 262 00:11:15,825 --> 00:11:17,375 I thought you had to go home. 263 00:11:17,452 --> 00:11:20,182 Don't you worry about that. You focus on your A-minus. 264 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:25,012 All right, yo, yo, me and Chuy against you and Kel. 265 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,638 Whoa, man. I'm ain't trying to be on Bernie's team. 266 00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,472 (laughter) 267 00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:31,847 All right, me and the big fella take all three of y'all. 268 00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:34,234 All right, all right, there you go. Take it out. 269 00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:36,692 I'm not playing, man. How many Mexicans you know in the NBA? 270 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,603 Oh, yo, say, we don't need him. 271 00:11:38,681 --> 00:11:40,451 You stick Bernie. Uh-huh. 272 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,355 I got big boy. Yeah. 273 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,355 You got me. I got you. 274 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,447 Show him how a real baller can do it, Mr. Mac. 275 00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:47,912 You ain't got no shot. 276 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:51,994 Whoa! Damn... 277 00:11:52,069 --> 00:11:53,539 I quit. 278 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,293 That's what you get when you step up to some real ballers. 279 00:11:55,364 --> 00:11:57,004 Oh, man, you ain't even have nothing to do with it. 280 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,288 What?! That was all about the pass. 281 00:11:59,368 --> 00:12:00,638 Pure court vision, baby. 282 00:12:00,712 --> 00:12:02,472 Listen to him, America... 283 00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:04,377 trying to butter me up. 284 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:07,587 Only, I can see the boy coming a mile away. 285 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,432 Y'all see? 286 00:12:09,504 --> 00:12:12,314 See, game recognize game. 287 00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:14,721 A player know a player. 288 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:18,531 A preacher know a pimp. 289 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,645 I'm just throwing something at you. 290 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,157 (chuckles) 291 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,940 Well, thanks for the ride. 292 00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:29,911 (up-tempo music playing on radio) 293 00:12:31,159 --> 00:12:32,739 (footsteps) 294 00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:34,339 (thud) 295 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,427 Um, no disrespect intended, Mr. Mac. 296 00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,505 Hey, V, I'm out. 297 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,940 Don't forget about Saturday. 298 00:13:17,321 --> 00:13:18,661 (sighs) 299 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:21,253 (tapping button) 300 00:13:21,325 --> 00:13:23,625 (chuckles) Hitting that is not gonna make 301 00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,093 the elevator come any faster. (scoffs) I know, why do we do that all the time? 302 00:13:26,163 --> 00:13:28,013 I don't get that at all. (elevator dings) 303 00:13:28,082 --> 00:13:28,932 I'm telling you... (baby cries) 304 00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:30,968 Ooh. Okay, excuse me. 305 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,467 I just want to get out of here before 306 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,099 they have another doggone sale, sweetheart. 307 00:13:34,171 --> 00:13:35,681 Why you getting mad at me about the sales? 308 00:13:35,756 --> 00:13:37,896 I'm not mad at you, baby. (baby crying) 309 00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,435 (baby screaming) 310 00:13:44,932 --> 00:13:47,532 (screaming continues) 311 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,581 VANESSA: It's Raheem's baby, not mine. 312 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:55,909 So what's the big deal? 313 00:13:55,985 --> 00:13:57,615 The big deal is you tried to hide it. 314 00:13:57,695 --> 00:14:00,655 Oh, yeah, we hid out at the mall. 315 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,170 Now, Vanessa, the issue is you did keep it a secret. 316 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,762 BERNIE: Yeah. Only because I knew how he would act. 317 00:14:05,837 --> 00:14:08,547 He? What are you talking about "he"? 318 00:14:08,623 --> 00:14:10,263 Let me tell you about "he." 319 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,717 "He" don't want you to see him no more. But... 320 00:14:12,793 --> 00:14:14,013 But ain't no more "but." 321 00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:17,216 It's over. Finished. Kaput. Done with. 322 00:14:17,298 --> 00:14:18,608 You understand me? Fine. 323 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:19,563 Fine. Fine. 324 00:14:19,634 --> 00:14:20,734 Fine. Fine. 325 00:14:20,801 --> 00:14:22,811 You doggone right, fine. 326 00:14:22,887 --> 00:14:24,487 Man, somebody gonna get hurt around here. 327 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,824 WANDA: Not today. 328 00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:33,283 Oh, no, America, it's not fine. 329 00:14:33,356 --> 00:14:34,816 Far from fine. 330 00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:36,619 Let me break it down to you. 331 00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:39,242 See, "fine" means she'll do what I say 332 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:43,540 as long as I keep my eye on her and not a blink longer. 333 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,576 Oh, yeah, I know fine. 334 00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:48,430 And Bernie Mac is not fine with "fine." 335 00:14:49,747 --> 00:14:51,587 Is that fine with you? 336 00:14:51,666 --> 00:14:53,176 (dog barking in distance) 337 00:14:54,585 --> 00:14:57,345 (chatter on TV) 338 00:14:57,421 --> 00:15:00,691 NARRATOR: The sperm knows its purpose and pursues the egg relentlessly. 339 00:15:02,343 --> 00:15:06,693 And despite appearances, only one sperm is needed to fertilize the egg. 340 00:15:06,764 --> 00:15:08,524 (heart beating) 341 00:15:08,599 --> 00:15:10,989 (suspenseful music playing) 342 00:15:16,273 --> 00:15:18,463 (boinging) 343 00:15:22,446 --> 00:15:23,746 Wanda. 344 00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,673 Wanda, baby, wake up. Hmm? 345 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:26,970 Wake up. Okay. 346 00:15:27,043 --> 00:15:28,633 Come on, now. Okay, I'm here. 347 00:15:28,703 --> 00:15:29,923 Nessa is having sex. 348 00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,676 I don't hear anything. 349 00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,256 Wanda, wake up! (moans) 350 00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,722 That big-ass boy want to walk around here 351 00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:37,153 and do more than homework. 352 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,548 We don't need no more kids running around here. 353 00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:40,720 Now wake up. 354 00:15:40,798 --> 00:15:42,558 Okay, well, all right... 355 00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:43,893 (stammering) 356 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,352 This is real! We need to talk to her? 357 00:15:45,428 --> 00:15:47,398 Yeah, we need to talk to her. This is real! 358 00:15:47,471 --> 00:15:49,441 All right, well, honey, you're making it sound so serious. 359 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:52,565 It is serious! Okay, then, let's talk to her about birth control. 360 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,867 No, no, that means we giving in, we're condoning that boy. 361 00:15:55,947 --> 00:15:57,777 No, that's not what it means. 362 00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:58,947 It means that we're teaching her 363 00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:01,245 to be responsible and safe. 364 00:16:02,987 --> 00:16:04,197 Well, you umpire. 365 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:05,664 Get up and talk about what's safe. 366 00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:07,210 Come on. 367 00:16:07,283 --> 00:16:09,253 I'm not getting up right now. Come on, Wanda. 368 00:16:09,326 --> 00:16:10,836 I'm gonna talk to her tomorrow. This is real. 369 00:16:10,911 --> 00:16:12,801 No, it'll be too late. She'll be pregnant. 370 00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:16,774 (awkward chuckle) 371 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,850 Vanessa, um... 372 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,260 First, I would like to start off by saying that, 373 00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:27,270 you know, sex can be a beautiful thing. 374 00:16:27,344 --> 00:16:28,784 BERNIE: What?! 375 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,685 Why would she tell the child something like that? 376 00:16:30,765 --> 00:16:32,935 Why not just get the girl all liquored all up, 377 00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:34,567 dump her on the boy porch, 378 00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:36,863 ring the doorbell and say, "It's a beautiful thing"? 379 00:16:36,937 --> 00:16:38,447 No, it's not! 380 00:16:39,857 --> 00:16:41,287 Sex is bad. 381 00:16:42,359 --> 00:16:44,449 And it's nasty. 382 00:16:44,528 --> 00:16:46,198 And it hurts. 383 00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,412 Bernie, do you want to have this conversation with Vanessa? 384 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,785 No, I don't want to have it. I'm going in the dining room. 385 00:16:50,868 --> 00:16:52,428 Don't worry about it, I'm gone from it. 386 00:16:52,503 --> 00:16:53,973 WANDA: Thank you. 387 00:16:57,958 --> 00:17:00,388 Okay, I'm gonna talk to you about the difference 388 00:17:00,470 --> 00:17:02,440 of making love and sex. 389 00:17:02,513 --> 00:17:04,643 Now, I know you know what sex is. 390 00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,969 BERNIE: She better not. Bernie! 391 00:17:07,051 --> 00:17:09,561 What? I'm gone, man, I'm gone. 392 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:10,817 Disregard. 393 00:17:11,689 --> 00:17:13,319 He means well, I'm sorry. 394 00:17:14,975 --> 00:17:17,105 The bottom line is that I was hoping that you and I 395 00:17:17,186 --> 00:17:20,856 could talk today so that we could talk about the possibility 396 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,414 of putting you on birth control. 397 00:17:22,483 --> 00:17:24,783 Birth control? Why? (door bangs open) 398 00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:26,490 Well, birth control is... 399 00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:29,370 You know damn well why you need birth control. 400 00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,918 You know it. 401 00:17:31,992 --> 00:17:33,502 I don't need birth control. 402 00:17:33,577 --> 00:17:35,187 I'm not having sex. 403 00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:38,671 I know what's going on! I know how these boys think. 404 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,173 Raheem's not like that. 405 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,345 He got a baby! WANDA: Bernie. 406 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,264 (whispers) Leave. 407 00:17:44,338 --> 00:17:45,808 Ain't no come on, I'm telling like it is. 408 00:17:45,881 --> 00:17:47,691 You want to play with it. 409 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:51,887 She just said that she was not having sex. 410 00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,351 And I believe her. 411 00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:56,200 So let's leave it at that for now. You always... 412 00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:57,365 Okay? 413 00:17:58,602 --> 00:17:59,612 I'm gonna leave it like that. 414 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:00,947 You got good points... 415 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:04,205 But October 5, 1957, a pimp was born. 416 00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,133 (door closes) 417 00:18:11,749 --> 00:18:13,369 Hey, get away from your sister's door, 418 00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:15,420 eavesdropping on her like a little spy. 419 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:16,844 Man, what's wrong with you? 420 00:18:16,912 --> 00:18:18,422 What's she doing? 421 00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:21,047 I don't know. I think she's breaking stuff. 422 00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,385 What? You need to ground her, Uncle Bernie. 423 00:18:24,628 --> 00:18:26,478 Go on, get on out of here. 424 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:35,058 Hey, hey, what's going on here? 425 00:18:35,139 --> 00:18:37,479 You all right? What happened? 426 00:18:37,558 --> 00:18:38,728 Raheem did something to you? 427 00:18:38,809 --> 00:18:40,649 He put his hands on you? I'll bust... 428 00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:42,818 No, he broke up with me. 429 00:18:42,897 --> 00:18:44,447 What?! 430 00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:45,953 He dumped me. 431 00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,285 Like garbage? 432 00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:50,038 He dumped me to get back with his baby's mama. 433 00:18:50,112 --> 00:18:52,752 No good, dirty, son of a... 434 00:18:52,823 --> 00:18:54,923 You happy now? 435 00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:56,956 Come on, what do you mean by that? 436 00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:59,036 I'm not that type of person. 437 00:18:59,121 --> 00:19:01,261 Come on, now. 438 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,050 Look, you want to talk? 439 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,542 Anything I help you with it? 440 00:19:07,622 --> 00:19:11,022 Don't try and be friends and everything with me now. 441 00:19:11,091 --> 00:19:12,941 You're happy we broke up. Admit it. 442 00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,939 Come on, I'm not that-- 443 00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:17,522 I'm not that type of a person. 444 00:19:17,598 --> 00:19:19,408 (up-tempo music playing) 445 00:19:28,984 --> 00:19:32,164 ANNOUNCER: Chad Barnett shutting the door on Brody Johnson 446 00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,868 and really taking the lead... 447 00:19:33,948 --> 00:19:35,508 (continues, indistinct) 448 00:19:36,617 --> 00:19:39,047 (The Spinners: "Games People Play" playing) 449 00:19:40,204 --> 00:19:42,174 Hey, I was watching that. 450 00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:45,418 I thought you two wanted to get whooped in some Sorry. 451 00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,131 I'm green! I'm red. 452 00:19:47,211 --> 00:19:49,011 Whatever, you're both going down. 453 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,638 JORDAN: Oh, no, I'm not. VANESSA: Oh, yes, you are. 454 00:19:50,714 --> 00:19:53,524 Oh, no, I'm not. I'm gonna shuffle. You watch. 455 00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:54,692 JORDAN: Give me my pieces. 456 00:19:54,769 --> 00:19:55,889 VANESSA: Did you mess up the cards? 457 00:19:55,970 --> 00:19:57,480 Yes, I messed up the cards. 458 00:19:57,554 --> 00:19:59,404 (kids chattering) 459 00:19:59,473 --> 00:20:02,823 I'm going to do it again because you like to look at them before you do it. 460 00:20:02,893 --> 00:20:05,033 Look there, America. 461 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:07,494 Playing with her little brother and sister. 462 00:20:07,564 --> 00:20:09,964 That's still just a girl at heart. 463 00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:12,244 It was just a big deal over nothing. 464 00:20:12,319 --> 00:20:14,949 Nessa ain't going nowhere. 465 00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:17,670 Nowhere. ♪ Can't get no rest ♪ 466 00:20:17,741 --> 00:20:21,041 ♪ Don't know how I work all day ♪ 467 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,000 Hey, girls, where y'all been? 468 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,710 Aunt Wanda, I'll be in my room. 469 00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:27,131 Okay. 470 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,473 Where you all been, baby? 471 00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,675 Well, honey, we've been to the gynecologist. 472 00:20:31,755 --> 00:20:34,145 (knife clatters) The gyne-what? 473 00:20:35,175 --> 00:20:36,975 What you go to the gynecologist for? 474 00:20:37,052 --> 00:20:39,352 The boy broke up with her and went back with his girlfriend. 475 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:42,194 She said herself she wasn't having sex. 476 00:20:42,266 --> 00:20:44,186 So what the heck you go to the gynecologist for? 477 00:20:44,268 --> 00:20:46,198 So what, we want to wait until after it happens? 478 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:49,069 Come on, now, I would rather be safe than sorry. 479 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,368 I'm sorry now, America. 480 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,990 But, America, let me ask you a question. 481 00:20:54,069 --> 00:20:56,039 How did we get here? 482 00:20:56,113 --> 00:20:59,213 That girl already thinks she's grown, 483 00:20:59,283 --> 00:21:02,843 but did we give her the license to go buck wild? 484 00:21:02,911 --> 00:21:06,711 Now I have to keep both eyes on her. 485 00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:11,310 And to you, America, y'all keep your eyes on yours. 486 00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:14,226 Go back to basics. 487 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,688 Oh-ho! 488 00:21:23,766 --> 00:21:25,616 Almost. Pick-up. 489 00:21:27,394 --> 00:21:29,704 My fault. It hit the thing there. 490 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:32,656 Oh! Ohh! (yells) 491 00:21:32,733 --> 00:21:34,583 (clapping) Damn! 492 00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:36,910 Fade! Fade! 493 00:21:36,987 --> 00:21:38,827 Damn, Bernie! (laughter) 494 00:21:38,906 --> 00:21:41,576 Hello? MAN: Yeah, is Vanessa there? 495 00:21:41,658 --> 00:21:44,918 Who is this? Uh, you can tell her it's Gizmo. 496 00:21:44,995 --> 00:21:47,045 Tell her it's Gizmo? Uh-huh. 497 00:21:47,122 --> 00:21:49,472 Pow! Pow! Pow! 498 00:21:54,296 --> 00:21:55,436 Captioned by Visual Data 499 00:21:55,486 --> 00:22:00,036 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36017

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.