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1
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,178
I know that ain't Mama Lena
sitting up in my... in my...
2
00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:22,763
No, no, no,
that ain't Mama Lena.
3
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:23,643
I'll be doggone.
4
00:00:23,715 --> 00:00:25,095
Would you look at this here?
5
00:00:25,175 --> 00:00:27,065
Look at this.
Woman, you look so good.
6
00:00:27,144 --> 00:00:29,564
Look at this here.
Mwah!
7
00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:32,522
Look like Halle Berry
sitting up in my kitchen.
8
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,729
I'll be darn.
What's up, baby sis?
9
00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:36,940
Woo, woo, woo.
Woo, woo, woo.
10
00:00:37,020 --> 00:00:38,040
Uh-uh...
Come on, let me have one.
11
00:00:38,113 --> 00:00:40,033
This is for the cobbler
for the reunion.
12
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,657
-Sexy mama. Hey, baby.
-Hi, honey.
13
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,698
Hey, who all coming?
Crippled Lou coming?
14
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,038
Y'all talk to him?
15
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,273
(laughing)
16
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,667
Now, honey, don't you
say that in his face.
17
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:49,969
You know how he gets.
18
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,460
He fights to kill,
darling. He sure does.
19
00:00:52,536 --> 00:00:54,246
I can see him now: "What is...?
Hey, what is...? Hey...
20
00:00:54,329 --> 00:00:55,539
"Come on, now, that ain't right.
21
00:00:55,614 --> 00:00:57,384
Don't talk to me
like that, huh." Stop.
22
00:00:57,457 --> 00:00:59,047
What about your A-Aunt Sis?
23
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,780
Y'all heard from her?
You know she'll be here
24
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,758
trying to sell something
and preaching 'bout the Lord.
25
00:01:03,839 --> 00:01:05,639
"Praise Jesus, Bernie."
26
00:01:05,715 --> 00:01:07,305
I can't stand her.
27
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:09,428
She really don't bother me;
it's that no-working
28
00:01:09,511 --> 00:01:10,991
husband of
hers, you know.
29
00:01:11,063 --> 00:01:12,983
"I've got some irons
in the fire."
30
00:01:13,056 --> 00:01:14,316
(laughing)
31
00:01:15,526 --> 00:01:16,986
What's that, Nessa?
It look good.
32
00:01:17,069 --> 00:01:19,109
The firstborn
in each family
33
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,071
is making a huge
patchwork quilt
34
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,288
for the oldest
in the family.
35
00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:26,495
BERNIE: Hmm.
Vanessa, it's too bad
36
00:01:26,578 --> 00:01:28,498
your mama couldn't
come to the reunion.
37
00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:31,127
Finished.
38
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,342
What about Big Brother?
Y'all heard from him?
39
00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:38,758
When he coming?
Tomorrow,
40
00:01:38,841 --> 00:01:40,161
and I'm going to tell
you something, Bernard.
41
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,514
He better not come up in
here trying to regulate.
42
00:01:42,586 --> 00:01:43,966
I'm serious.
43
00:01:44,045 --> 00:01:45,755
I am grown, okay,
44
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,259
and if Carl say
one thing to me,
45
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:51,103
I am going to tell him
to kiss my natural black...
46
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:53,482
Ah, she's just bumping her gums.
47
00:01:53,555 --> 00:01:56,305
She looked up to Big Brother
just like I do.
48
00:01:56,391 --> 00:01:59,031
See, when we was coming up,
Carl was the man in the house.
49
00:01:59,102 --> 00:02:00,992
His word was the law.
50
00:02:01,062 --> 00:02:04,202
Carl was the one who made me see
it was best I take the kids.
51
00:02:04,274 --> 00:02:05,994
He's going to be real proud
52
00:02:06,067 --> 00:02:08,537
when he see how well
I done with 'em, too.
53
00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:11,452
Man, there ain't nothing
like family.
54
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,121
(door shuts)
55
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,040
Hey, baby.
56
00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:16,208
Hey.
57
00:02:16,286 --> 00:02:17,746
Mama Lena all right?
58
00:02:17,829 --> 00:02:19,709
Mm, who knows?
59
00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:22,259
I can't believe she
still isn't talking after all these years.
60
00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:24,128
Uh-huh.
Are you sure there isn't anything
61
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,591
physically
wrong with her?
62
00:02:25,670 --> 00:02:28,050
Yeah, there's something
physically wrong with her.
63
00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:29,681
She's 109 years old.
64
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,978
Shoot, maybe she just
don't feel like talking.
65
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,353
Probably wouldn't
understand her if she did. (chuckles)
66
00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:36,980
I'm going to
get her to talk.
67
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,317
No, you won't.
Yes, I will.
68
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,692
No, you won't.
Yes, I will.
69
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:42,940
No, you won't.
70
00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:44,911
Yes, I will.
71
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,031
(grunting)
72
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,844
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey. Hey.
73
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:57,503
So, you all looking forward
to the reunion?
74
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:58,917
I don't even know
half the people
75
00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,265
you were talking about,
76
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,427
and now I have to stay
in a room with these two
77
00:03:02,507 --> 00:03:05,257
and listen to Dog Breath
practice French,
78
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:06,715
which he sucks at.
79
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,469
Look, y'all listen to me.
80
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,890
This reunion mean a lot to me.
81
00:03:10,966 --> 00:03:12,936
It should mean a lot
to you, too.
82
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,728
It's what keep
the family together.
83
00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:16,193
It keeps us connected.
84
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,023
And besides, you all ain't seen
your Uncle Carl
85
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,198
since you all got here.
86
00:03:19,274 --> 00:03:21,904
You ought to be grateful
we got a family...
87
00:03:21,977 --> 00:03:25,777
for all of 'em, including
each other, you understand?
88
00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:26,615
Yes.
Yes. Yeah.
89
00:03:26,698 --> 00:03:28,618
Mais, bien sûr.
90
00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:29,912
What'd he say?
91
00:03:29,985 --> 00:03:31,405
(scoffs)
92
00:03:31,486 --> 00:03:32,536
He ain't cussing, is he?
93
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:33,712
Ow!
94
00:03:33,789 --> 00:03:34,709
(giggles)
95
00:03:34,790 --> 00:03:37,880
♪ It's a family affair ♪
96
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:43,339
♪ It's a family affair ♪
97
00:03:43,415 --> 00:03:46,085
♪ It's a family affair ♪
98
00:03:46,167 --> 00:03:48,587
What's up, you squares?
99
00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:49,770
Mac is here.
100
00:03:51,306 --> 00:03:52,856
Hi, Uncle Bernie.
101
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,643
Hey, baby girl.
102
00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:55,978
I'm baby girl.
103
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,846
You remember David?
104
00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,023
BERNIE:
Hey, Aunt Sis.
105
00:03:59,097 --> 00:04:00,057
Hey, how you
doing, David?
106
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,230
Yes.
107
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,858
I got us some irons
in the fire.
108
00:04:03,935 --> 00:04:05,105
Yeah?
109
00:04:05,186 --> 00:04:07,146
I have a little
proposition for you.
110
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,200
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
111
00:04:08,273 --> 00:04:09,253
We just got here.
112
00:04:09,324 --> 00:04:10,504
Benita, mind yours.
113
00:04:10,575 --> 00:04:11,735
It's not my fault
you never got
114
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,238
off the first rung
of your pyramid.
115
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:17,120
So, Bernie, can you see us
doing a little...
116
00:04:17,198 --> 00:04:20,008
Excuse me, Aunt.
Hey, hey, hey, C-Mac!
117
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,131
B-Mac! Heh, come here, boy.
118
00:04:23,204 --> 00:04:25,384
It is.
Look at that. Look at you, man.
119
00:04:25,457 --> 00:04:26,587
Man. What's up, baby?
120
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,766
I'm good, I'm good.
How you doing, Bern?
121
00:04:28,844 --> 00:04:30,434
I'm doing great, C.
Good, good, good.
122
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:33,523
Oh, man, C, wait till
you see the kids, man.
123
00:04:33,598 --> 00:04:35,768
Doggone it, look, there
go Jordan over there.
124
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,482
Hey, hey, Jordan!
125
00:04:37,552 --> 00:04:41,192
I ain't never seen
a little boy enjoy butterflies so much.
126
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:44,154
Oh, man, that boy like
all kind of bugs, man:
127
00:04:44,225 --> 00:04:46,435
tarantulas,
black widows...
128
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:48,359
Mm-hmm.
Hey, Jord-Jordan!
129
00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,238
Come here, son!
130
00:04:50,315 --> 00:04:51,355
C-Come here.
131
00:04:51,441 --> 00:04:52,781
Say something to
your Uncle Carl.
132
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,783
Hi, Uncle Carl.
133
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,161
(chuckles)
134
00:04:56,237 --> 00:04:57,907
Comment allez-vous?
135
00:04:57,989 --> 00:04:59,409
Oh, you're speaking French now.
136
00:04:59,491 --> 00:05:01,551
Oui.
Uh-huh.
137
00:05:01,626 --> 00:05:04,666
Goes good with the shirt.
138
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,630
You know, America, Carl's
just having fun with the boy.
139
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:10,547
He's a little different, you
know, but that's how Jordan is.
140
00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:13,647
See, it's not like
Carl's saying it's my fault...
141
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:16,320
or is he?
142
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:23,156
(indistinct chattering)
143
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,650
Aren't you Patricia's son
Shawntee?
144
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:34,410
Wow, you have shot up
since the last reunion,
145
00:05:34,484 --> 00:05:36,714
all tall and handsome.
146
00:05:36,787 --> 00:05:38,407
I'm Bernie's wife, Wanda.
147
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:40,708
Oh, yeah. Hey,
how you doing?
148
00:05:40,791 --> 00:05:42,261
Good. This is Mama Lena.
149
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:44,920
Yvette. This is
your cousin Vanessa.
150
00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:46,094
You guys haven't seen
each other
151
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:48,301
since you were babies.
Hey, what's up, cous?
152
00:05:48,373 --> 00:05:49,803
Hey.
I was just about to go
153
00:05:49,874 --> 00:05:51,814
get something to eat--
you hungry? Sure.
154
00:05:53,294 --> 00:05:54,104
(mutters)
155
00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:58,732
Kids just grow up so fast.
156
00:06:02,687 --> 00:06:04,137
Bernie.
Yeah?
157
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:07,484
You're rich, but I'm about
to make you rich-rich.
158
00:06:07,559 --> 00:06:09,069
We need to talk.
159
00:06:09,144 --> 00:06:10,284
Come on, l-l-let me
eat first, okay?
160
00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:11,363
Oh, to God be the glory.
161
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,612
Thank you.
No!
162
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,953
You know Big Mama
163
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:16,623
taught you to bless
your food before you eat.
164
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,377
Kiss it up to God.
165
00:06:21,331 --> 00:06:22,831
Well, well, well,
166
00:06:22,907 --> 00:06:26,287
if it isn't fine-as-wine
Wanda Mac-alicious.
167
00:06:26,369 --> 00:06:28,089
Look at you.
Boo, ooh, ooh.
168
00:06:28,163 --> 00:06:29,643
Hi, Lou.
Hold on.
169
00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:33,295
Brake.
(chuckles) Bring it.
170
00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:34,966
(laughing)
171
00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:37,934
Mm, like a bird coming
home to the nest.
172
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:38,856
Aw...
173
00:06:41,259 --> 00:06:42,849
How you doing, Lou?
174
00:06:42,927 --> 00:06:45,817
Surviving... as if you cared.
175
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,148
What's up?
176
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,369
(laughing)
177
00:06:53,354 --> 00:06:54,614
Oh.
178
00:06:54,689 --> 00:06:57,159
America, the man's
in a wheelchair.
179
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,917
Some things
you've got to let go.
180
00:06:59,995 --> 00:07:02,665
Family.
181
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,007
Hmm.
182
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,344
Yeah.
Man.
183
00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:11,835
So, you don't shoot hoops?
184
00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:12,865
Well, what about music?
185
00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:14,460
You watch music videos,
don't you?
186
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,625
Uncle Bernie
doesn't like us to watch music videos.
187
00:07:16,711 --> 00:07:18,401
There are too
many hootchies.
188
00:07:23,384 --> 00:07:24,864
Baby, you okay?
189
00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:28,519
No, not really.
190
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:30,688
I'm ready to go, Wanda.
I'm tired.
191
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,147
Bernie!
192
00:07:32,227 --> 00:07:36,027
Cooking with Bernie Mac'sAunt Sis.
193
00:07:36,105 --> 00:07:37,275
What?
194
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,827
That's the name of our show
on the Food Network.
195
00:07:40,902 --> 00:07:44,042
You sprinkle in a few jokes,
and I'll do the cooking.
196
00:07:44,113 --> 00:07:46,213
You add the spice,
I'll add the flavor.
197
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,836
Hallelujah!
Baby, we going to be rolling in the dough.
198
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,880
Rolling in the dough--
get it?
199
00:07:51,955 --> 00:07:54,085
(laughing):
Dough?
200
00:07:54,165 --> 00:07:56,095
Listen, I've got a hundred
more cooking puns.
201
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,296
No, no, no,
not right now, Sis. I made a tape for you.
202
00:07:58,378 --> 00:07:59,428
Come over here.
203
00:07:59,504 --> 00:08:01,104
Come, come.
204
00:08:01,172 --> 00:08:02,532
Mm-hmm. Hmm.
205
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,637
He going to get up as
soon as he see me coming.
206
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,387
He be acting funny.
207
00:08:06,469 --> 00:08:08,689
That's why I didn't
call y'all last time I was in L.A.
208
00:08:08,763 --> 00:08:09,813
Are you serious?
209
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,229
Yeah, I'm serious.
210
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,871
It's like I'm not
welcome or something.
211
00:08:13,944 --> 00:08:15,744
Oh, come on,
don't be ridiculous.
212
00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:16,922
You're family,
213
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,856
and family is always
welcome in our home
214
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:20,620
whether it's
for a beer, a swim,
215
00:08:20,692 --> 00:08:21,632
or whatever.
216
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,581
I don't swim.
217
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:24,993
We'll put you
in an inner tube.
218
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,405
You know what I mean.
Thanks, cous.
219
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,134
You welcome.
220
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:34,419
Lookie, here.
221
00:08:34,497 --> 00:08:37,257
Tonight, after-party
at Mac's.
222
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:38,683
Tonight?
Tonight.
223
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,761
(inaudible)
224
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,521
What the hell
are you saying?
225
00:08:42,597 --> 00:08:43,997
There's going
to be more food?
226
00:08:44,074 --> 00:08:46,274
Yeah, there's going
to be some food. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
227
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,426
After-party...
228
00:08:48,511 --> 00:08:49,731
Hey, y'all...
229
00:08:49,804 --> 00:08:51,744
Dance contest, everybody!
230
00:08:51,815 --> 00:08:54,435
Y'all come on! Come on!
231
00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:56,607
Shake it, little girl.
232
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:59,146
Come on!
233
00:08:59,230 --> 00:09:01,280
Yeah! Yeah!
234
00:09:01,357 --> 00:09:05,867
♪ I used to goout to parties ♪
235
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,945
♪ And stand around ♪
236
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:10,121
Come on!
(cheering)
237
00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:13,799
♪ 'Cause I was too nervous ♪
238
00:09:13,878 --> 00:09:16,138
♪ To really get down ♪
239
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:21,481
♪ But my body ♪
240
00:09:21,553 --> 00:09:25,013
♪ Yearned to be free ♪
241
00:09:25,089 --> 00:09:29,479
♪ I got up on the floor ♪
242
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:33,146
And all I'm saying is it seems
like you-all moved out here
243
00:09:33,222 --> 00:09:35,402
to California
and forgot your roots. (chuckles)
244
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,945
Tell me, what's the boy
going to do next, huh?
245
00:09:37,027 --> 00:09:38,277
Dye his hair blond,
246
00:09:38,353 --> 00:09:41,033
start wearing,
uh, blue contacts, huh?
247
00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:43,405
stop seasoning his food?
248
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,203
Hey, hey, Jor-Jordan.
249
00:09:45,276 --> 00:09:47,036
Son, why don't
we sit this out, okay?
250
00:09:47,111 --> 00:09:48,951
No way. I'm going to win!
Jo-Jordan.
251
00:09:49,030 --> 00:09:52,830
♪ Long as you're groovin' ♪
252
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,333
♪ There's always a chance ♪
253
00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:59,090
How do you say "no rhythm"
in French, hmm?
254
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:02,305
He's a kid, Carl,
remember?
255
00:10:03,961 --> 00:10:07,901
He's a black kid, Bernie.
You remember?
256
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:11,034
♪ Baby, you dance all night ♪
Come on!
257
00:10:12,762 --> 00:10:14,192
♪ To the-- ♪
258
00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:16,023
I could've
said something to Carl,
259
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:17,979
but I held my tongue,
260
00:10:18,059 --> 00:10:20,159
kind of like Mama Lena.
261
00:10:22,105 --> 00:10:25,105
Home sweet home,
that's what I'm talking about.
262
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:28,121
See your family in five years.
263
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,548
Oh, please.
Girl, I'm so glad.
264
00:10:32,073 --> 00:10:34,713
Sweetheart, I am glad.
265
00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:37,424
(engine roaring)
(truck honking horn)
266
00:10:37,495 --> 00:10:40,055
(shouting and cheering)
267
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,224
Oh, Lord!
268
00:10:44,094 --> 00:10:47,104
Bern, you gave us
an after-party!
269
00:10:47,171 --> 00:10:48,561
(screaming)
Oh, yes, come in! (laughing)
270
00:10:49,924 --> 00:10:51,574
(indistinct chattering)
271
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,265
(whispers):
Who's that? Hey, Uncle Bernie.
272
00:11:00,351 --> 00:11:01,591
Hey. Hey.
Hey.
273
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:04,276
Bernie-Bern, thanks
for inviting us, B.
274
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,989
How you doing, Wanda?
275
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,735
Okay.
Inviting them where, baby?
276
00:11:07,817 --> 00:11:11,487
I... I-I just told Lou
277
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,371
that family
was welcome here anytime.
278
00:11:13,448 --> 00:11:14,698
Come on.
I didn't mean it.
279
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,415
Well, you know better
then to tell my family,
280
00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:17,682
especially ol' cripple ass.
281
00:11:17,752 --> 00:11:20,302
Shut up. Here he come.
Here he come. Well, okay!
282
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,050
..simple hair spray
(imitates spraying)
283
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,557
and it rolls sweet.
284
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,813
You know, Bernie, this place
ain't very handicapped friendly.
285
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:26,965
Neither are we.
286
00:11:27,044 --> 00:11:29,314
Ow!
Watch the-- ooh.
287
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,389
Let me go hide the liquor,
288
00:11:30,465 --> 00:11:31,305
the cards, and
dominoes and stuff.
289
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,931
Where-where you going?
290
00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,319
To go hide the jewelry.
291
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,885
Oh, don't look at me like that.
292
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:39,523
How about if I sent a bus
crammed with your relatives
293
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,569
to your house, see how you feel.
294
00:11:41,642 --> 00:11:44,242
Yeah. See, you sweatin' just
thinking about it, ain't you?
295
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:51,117
You know, you're
awfully cute. (sighs)
296
00:11:51,194 --> 00:11:52,544
Aunt Sis?
297
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,792
Mm-hmm?
298
00:11:53,863 --> 00:11:55,373
How are we cousins anyway?
299
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,328
Her granddaddy's second
wife was your auntie.
300
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,172
Oh, by marriage.
301
00:12:00,244 --> 00:12:01,684
(mutters)
302
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:05,546
You're putting out chips?
303
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,345
Don't trip.
No fat, no salt.
304
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,927
Bust this party right up
305
00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:11,653
before they start
getting into my stuff. (chuckles)
306
00:12:11,723 --> 00:12:12,683
Say, Bernie?
Yo.
307
00:12:12,757 --> 00:12:13,967
You got a computer
308
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:14,920
where I can burn
some of these CDs?
309
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,731
You got some
classics here.
310
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:17,883
Ooh! Smokey in Tokyo.
311
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,354
Hot damn. You can't
find these nowhere.
312
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,904
T-Bone, T-Bone.
Hell, no.
313
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:22,903
You're not stealing
my music.
314
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,275
Damn, B.
315
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,067
You done got all
brand-new on a brother.
316
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:29,496
You should be
givin' them to me.
317
00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,244
What?
318
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,131
Okay, Wesley baby,
you just sit here
319
00:12:33,203 --> 00:12:34,913
next to your cousin Bryana.
320
00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:39,827
And Wanda, oh, girl, I am
so proud of you and Bernie.
321
00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:42,759
And your house is beautiful.
322
00:12:42,837 --> 00:12:43,837
Oh, thank you, Yvonne.
323
00:12:43,913 --> 00:12:45,253
(laughs)
324
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:46,611
You know what?
Mm-hmm?
325
00:12:46,691 --> 00:12:48,261
I have some clothes
that are too small for Bryana
326
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,724
that would fit Wesley perfectly.
327
00:12:49,794 --> 00:12:51,144
Really?
Mm-hmm.
328
00:12:51,212 --> 00:12:53,472
And Wesley, what do
we say to Aunt Wanda?
329
00:12:53,548 --> 00:12:55,308
Thank you, Aunt Wanda.
330
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,403
YVONNE: Exactly!
Thank you, Wanda.
331
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,387
All right, this is why
I don't have my degree today. Bam!
332
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:01,595
Oh, that ain't nothing,
that ain't nothing.
333
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,151
That's why you don't
got the degree
334
00:13:03,224 --> 00:13:04,864
'cause you don't
have this. Bam!
335
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:05,908
Look at that right there.
336
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:07,275
Hold on, hold on,
wait, wait, wait.
337
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,003
Where'd you-all get
these cards from?
338
00:13:10,147 --> 00:13:12,777
Oh, uh, u-under the sink.
339
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,083
Thieving asses.
340
00:13:14,151 --> 00:13:16,291
(stuttering gibberish)
341
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,866
What'd he say?
342
00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:19,457
Why don't you join us
for a game, Bernie?
343
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,502
Hah! Bernie join us for spades?
344
00:13:21,576 --> 00:13:23,036
Bernie can't play
no cards.
345
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,219
This how you play cards.
346
00:13:24,295 --> 00:13:25,375
Raising it up. Bam!
347
00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:27,304
That's right.
I can learn to love you,
348
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,893
but loving just ain't right.
349
00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:33,137
Oh!
Oh... no, he didn't.
350
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:35,102
No, he didn't.
351
00:13:35,172 --> 00:13:36,432
(clock ticks softly)
352
00:13:36,507 --> 00:13:38,727
That some bull.
353
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:39,780
(coughing)
354
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,493
Those my cigars?
355
00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:46,477
Yeah, but it's too strong, cous.
356
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,319
I've got the... (gibberish)
357
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,114
I hope it choke the hell
out of you.
358
00:13:50,187 --> 00:13:51,957
(coughing)
359
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:53,031
You got the devil in you.
360
00:13:53,107 --> 00:13:54,317
He always has.
361
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,740
(clock ticks softly)
(sighs)
362
00:13:56,819 --> 00:13:59,449
It would mean so much
to the family
363
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,974
if I could write down
some of your earliest memories.
364
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,224
So you want to learn
how to walk like a man,
365
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:11,800
like you're
about something?
366
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,226
Heck, yeah.
367
00:14:13,303 --> 00:14:15,683
Well, first of all, if you
want to be a real cool cat,
368
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:18,715
you can't wear your pants
all cinched up high like this.
369
00:14:18,799 --> 00:14:20,469
Take that off. Yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
370
00:14:20,551 --> 00:14:22,181
Now, pull them
down a little bit.
371
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,401
Here you go. Now,
tuck that in. Mm-hmm.
372
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:28,032
Now... now, for the walk.
373
00:14:28,109 --> 00:14:30,109
You got that?
374
00:14:30,186 --> 00:14:31,566
That's what I'm
talking about.
375
00:14:31,646 --> 00:14:33,026
You know,
God don't like ugly,
376
00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:34,355
and that's just how
you're acting
377
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,490
'cause you won't help me
with my cooking show!
378
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,581
If you such a good cook,
379
00:14:38,653 --> 00:14:40,203
why don't you cook up
a job for your husband?
380
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,579
I've got a few irons
in the fire.
381
00:14:42,657 --> 00:14:45,037
I know why you
won't help me. Why?
382
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,497
'Cause you want to be
383
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:51,421
the only superstar
in the family, huh? Huh?
384
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:53,769
To hell with you,
Bernard McCullough!
385
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:56,812
(sighs)
386
00:15:01,676 --> 00:15:03,226
What the hell you all doing?
You're cousins.
387
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:06,522
Uh, Aunt Sis said
only by marriage.
388
00:15:06,597 --> 00:15:08,657
(snaps fingers)
389
00:15:11,268 --> 00:15:12,988
I'll talk to you later.
390
00:15:13,071 --> 00:15:14,361
Go on.
391
00:15:14,438 --> 00:15:16,578
Go on.
392
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:24,419
What's that smell?
393
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,838
(coughing)
I know you ain't smoking no reefer in my house, Lou.
394
00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:36,346
Well, technically,
I'm smoking on the patio.
395
00:15:36,427 --> 00:15:37,937
Put that reefer out.
396
00:15:38,012 --> 00:15:40,262
You know you can't think
straight smoking that stuff.
397
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:41,559
Is that how you kill...
(indistinct)
398
00:15:41,632 --> 00:15:43,682
AUNT SIS:
Bernie! Put it out.
399
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:44,679
Bernie!
400
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,310
Aunt Sis ain't
mad no more.
401
00:15:47,388 --> 00:15:49,398
(laughs):
I just...
402
00:15:49,473 --> 00:15:50,693
(sniffing)
403
00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:53,276
Mm. You smoking
that stuff in here.
404
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,442
Yeah, the devil
is busy in here.
405
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:58,911
The devil is
busy in here.
406
00:15:58,983 --> 00:16:00,243
Ooh...
407
00:16:00,317 --> 00:16:02,087
I'm gonna fight
you like a man.
408
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,491
Jesus, help me.
409
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,591
Give me the strength
to whip his ass.
410
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,085
And if you don't, I'm
gonna do it by myself!
411
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:10,287
He needs this dope.
(sighs)
412
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:11,289
Please, please, Father.
413
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,130
Get the devil out
of him!
414
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:16,335
Ooh, crack,
get behind me! Going to heavenly rehab!
415
00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:18,047
Get behind us!
Lord, let him live!
416
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:19,387
That's it. A little...
417
00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:20,512
a little more glide
in your stride, son.
418
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:21,848
Come on now.
419
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,636
Eh, that's what
I'm talking about.
420
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,476
Stop it. Go ahead on
with your bad self.
421
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,614
What's wrong with your leg?
Why you walking like that?
422
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,400
'Cause I'm a straight
player, y'all.
423
00:16:33,476 --> 00:16:35,186
(chuckles)
Pimp game's notorious.
424
00:16:35,269 --> 00:16:38,359
I know you feel me with
both hands, Uncle Bernie.
425
00:16:38,439 --> 00:16:40,119
Boy, pull your pants up
and get a belt.
426
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:41,529
Act like you've got some sense.
427
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:42,989
Your aunts and uncles are here.
428
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,329
Come on, Uncle B.
429
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,133
Don't hate the player--
hate the game.
430
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:47,535
(laughs)
431
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:48,905
That's what I'm talking about.
432
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,495
(laughing)
433
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:51,746
My man.
This is my man here.
434
00:16:51,827 --> 00:16:53,587
I'm just teaching him
how to keep it real.
435
00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:55,382
I mean, somebody's
got to, Bernie.
436
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,930
Yeah. I see, Carl.
Why don't you keep it real,
437
00:16:57,008 --> 00:16:58,918
getting on the bus
going back to the Ramada.
438
00:16:58,935 --> 00:16:59,925
That's right.
439
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:02,182
I want everybody
out of my house.
440
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,564
Sis, Peabo,
T-Bone, Cripple Lou.
441
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:06,642
You-all get the hell
out of my house!
442
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:07,561
Whoa, whoa.
What'd you call me?
443
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:08,845
Do it again.
444
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,558
Come on, you want
some of this here?
445
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:11,988
(yells)
Ow, ow, ow!
446
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,855
There's about to be a fight!
447
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,284
You see this?
Now why don't you just calm down?
448
00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:17,532
Relax, Bernie. Relax.
449
00:17:17,612 --> 00:17:18,862
You're all tense.
Tense and every...
450
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,488
No wonder... no
wonder these kids
451
00:17:20,564 --> 00:17:22,114
are acting the way
they're acting.
452
00:17:22,191 --> 00:17:24,621
(all agreeing)
Am I right? Huh? Am I right?
453
00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:27,243
You know what, you might
be right on this one, Carl.
454
00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:28,671
Good thing
they don't act like you.
455
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,608
If they did,
they'd be a sprinter. What?
456
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:33,705
Yeah, you know, you sure wasn't
walking slow, pimping and thing,
457
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,086
when the judge said
you could have the kids.
458
00:17:36,163 --> 00:17:37,923
Oh, Jordan,
you should have saw your uncle,
459
00:17:37,998 --> 00:17:40,588
the way he took off
when the judge said he can have you-all.
460
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,048
He took off, man, so quick,
461
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,508
he shot out
before the gun was even shot.
462
00:17:44,588 --> 00:17:46,388
I mean, (stutters)
zoom, he was gone.
463
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,385
Speedy Gonzales. Yeah.
FAMILY: Oh!
464
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:49,777
That's right, America.
465
00:17:49,852 --> 00:17:51,692
You might as well
know the truth.
466
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,151
See, our sister asked Carl
to take the kids,
467
00:17:54,223 --> 00:17:56,493
but he got to court
and turned chicken.
468
00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:58,567
All I saw was ass and elbow.
469
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,074
Looked like Carl Lewis.
470
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:01,396
He was...
471
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,070
WOMAN:
Ooh, this is a real nice quilt.
472
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,950
Who...? Who was...?
473
00:18:07,027 --> 00:18:08,707
Was that y'all?
474
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,408
That was Mama Lena.
475
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,500
I want to thank you young people
476
00:18:13,576 --> 00:18:16,246
for taking the time out
to make it.
477
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:19,258
Now, I might not be here
for the next family reunion...
478
00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,631
Oh, now, stop that.
479
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:25,098
...so, I want to say this:
480
00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:26,969
Wanda,
481
00:18:27,047 --> 00:18:29,427
thank you for opening
up your home to us.
482
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,598
You are a good girl.
483
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,771
Talk a lot though.
(woman laughing)
484
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:37,116
Lou, I'm sorry
you're in that chair,
485
00:18:37,191 --> 00:18:40,121
but it doesn't give you
license to be an ass.
486
00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:43,816
And stop telling folks
you got shot!
487
00:18:43,898 --> 00:18:45,568
Exactly!
Everybody knows
488
00:18:45,649 --> 00:18:48,249
you got scoliosis.
489
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:50,327
Sis...
490
00:18:50,404 --> 00:18:51,624
you can't cook.
491
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,167
(laughter)
492
00:18:53,249 --> 00:18:55,499
Even your husband, David,
don't like your cooking.
493
00:18:55,576 --> 00:18:56,696
(scattered laughter)
494
00:18:56,778 --> 00:18:58,288
MAN:
He gonna look away, too. Look at that.
495
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:02,170
And Carl? Where's Carl?
496
00:19:02,249 --> 00:19:04,379
Right here, ma'am.
497
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:06,760
Now, Carl...
Yes, ma'am.
498
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,771
you know Bernie
is doing a wonderful job
499
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:10,809
raising those children.
500
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,523
Don't you, Carl?
501
00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:15,144
Don't you, Carl?!
502
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,521
Yes, ma'am.
503
00:19:17,598 --> 00:19:19,518
Don't make me send you
out there for a switch!
504
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,610
(scattered laughter)
505
00:19:20,684 --> 00:19:22,484
Oh, Mam...
506
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,651
Bernie.
507
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,080
Yes, ma'am.
508
00:19:26,157 --> 00:19:29,697
Baby, unlock that liquor
and give me a shot of that yak.
509
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:31,877
(laughter, chatter)
510
00:19:34,165 --> 00:19:35,915
(motor buzzing)
511
00:19:37,335 --> 00:19:38,535
Bye, nephew.
512
00:19:38,619 --> 00:19:40,499
Bye.
513
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:42,309
David.
514
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:43,261
Thank you.
515
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,887
All right, baby.
All right, baby.
516
00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:51,064
Okay.
517
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,990
(mutters)
All right.
518
00:19:58,472 --> 00:20:02,192
Why you got on
those high-waters?
519
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,648
'Cause I'm baby girl,
not Wesley.
520
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,072
I know who you are.
521
00:20:06,147 --> 00:20:08,237
But you called her "baby girl"
at the picnic.
522
00:20:08,315 --> 00:20:10,985
Oh.
523
00:20:11,068 --> 00:20:12,738
(sighs)
524
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,910
Look here.
525
00:20:14,989 --> 00:20:19,289
See, she's a baby girl,
but you're my baby girl.
526
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:21,042
You understand?
527
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,140
Yes.
528
00:20:22,213 --> 00:20:24,343
And Bryana,
you got to learn how to share.
529
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,759
That's what family does.
530
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,313
We help each other out.
531
00:20:27,385 --> 00:20:30,215
That's the good thing
about being family, you-you understand?
532
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,260
Yes.
533
00:20:31,338 --> 00:20:32,178
Good.
534
00:20:32,256 --> 00:20:34,216
Now go take
this tight stuff off
535
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,480
before you lose the feeling
in your legs. Go on.
536
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,118
(sighs)
537
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:49,289
You know, B, you...
538
00:20:50,691 --> 00:20:53,741
doing a good job
with those kids,
539
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:56,659
and this time nobody's
making me say that.
540
00:20:56,739 --> 00:20:58,749
Thank you.
541
00:20:58,824 --> 00:20:59,884
Welcome.
542
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:04,253
♪ Family reunion ♪
543
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:05,340
There you go, America.
544
00:21:05,414 --> 00:21:07,764
You got to take the good
with the bad.
545
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,433
Even though my family
got on my last nerve,
546
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,266
I'm already looking forward
to the next reunion...
547
00:21:14,381 --> 00:21:16,311
long as it ain't here.
548
00:21:16,383 --> 00:21:18,783
As long as it ain't here.
549
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,856
What was I saying?
550
00:21:25,934 --> 00:21:27,284
Oh, oh, yeah.
551
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:31,777
Family--
they're everything to me.
552
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:35,411
♪ Once a child
grows up to be ♪
553
00:21:35,486 --> 00:21:37,796
♪ Someone you'd
just love to burn ♪
554
00:21:37,872 --> 00:21:42,882
♪ And I love a child ♪
555
00:21:42,951 --> 00:21:44,591
♪ Grows up to be... ♪
556
00:21:44,661 --> 00:21:46,171
I said that, didn't I? Oh.
557
00:21:46,246 --> 00:21:50,716
♪ It's a family affair. ♪
Cut!
558
00:21:50,793 --> 00:21:53,053
(crew laughing)
559
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,272
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
560
00:21:55,322 --> 00:21:59,872
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