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1
00:00:20,429 --> 00:00:21,649
Good evening.
2
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,140
This is John Beard, Fox 11 News,
3
00:00:23,215 --> 00:00:25,635
reporting on a bizarre scene
unfolding
4
00:00:25,717 --> 00:00:28,187
on the westbound 101 freeway.
5
00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:31,351
In a scene straight outof a Hollywood movie,
6
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,821
a slow-speed chaseis in progress.
7
00:00:33,892 --> 00:00:35,482
But this movie has a twist.
8
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,450
If you look above--
can we get that shot?--
9
00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:44,078
they're chasing a boyin a hot-air balloon.
10
00:00:49,324 --> 00:00:51,834
America, I bet you're wondering
11
00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:54,170
how Bernie Mac got
into this mess.
12
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,300
I wonder sometime myself.
13
00:00:56,373 --> 00:00:58,893
But I'm going to tell you,
it all started so innocent.
14
00:00:58,967 --> 00:01:00,727
See, it was Jordan's birthday.
15
00:01:03,338 --> 00:01:06,308
Only one week
to the big day.
16
00:01:06,383 --> 00:01:07,773
Yes, sir, captain,
it's your birthday.
17
00:01:07,843 --> 00:01:09,063
You want to do anything special?
18
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:10,976
I don't care. It's no big deal.
19
00:01:11,054 --> 00:01:12,194
What do you mean
you don't care, man?
20
00:01:12,264 --> 00:01:13,824
It's your birthday, man.
It's special.
21
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:15,359
I don't know.
Could we go to Royal Burger?
22
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,817
Come on now, Jordan, you can go
to Royal Burger anytime.
23
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:18,948
That's not special.
24
00:01:19,029 --> 00:01:21,739
Ah, Jordan, we could do
whatever you want.
25
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,235
Yeah.
On second thought
26
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,746
just make me a burger at home
and maybe some tater tots.
27
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,076
What?
28
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:33,578
What the hell
was that all about?
29
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,964
I never seen no kid don't get
excited about his birthday.
30
00:01:36,037 --> 00:01:37,387
He acting
like a 39-year-old woman.
31
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:39,674
Well, Jordan's never had
a birthday party.
32
00:01:39,749 --> 00:01:40,719
What you mean, Nessa,
33
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:41,891
he never had
a birthday party?
34
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:43,759
Well, Mom always promised him
one.
35
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,637
She said we were going to rent
out the pizza place
36
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,765
and invite everybody
from the Towers.
37
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,572
And Jordan got really excited,
38
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,524
but when the day came,
something always came up.
39
00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:56,187
Most of the time he didn't even
get a gift.
40
00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:57,356
That's not true, man.
41
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,284
I always sent him
a gift of money.
42
00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:01,412
No, you sent Mom money.
43
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:03,248
And she had her own parties.
44
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:08,588
Ain't that the saddest thing,
America?
45
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,662
Poor Jordan.
46
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:13,539
Boy's turning ten
and never had a birthday party.
47
00:02:13,617 --> 00:02:15,117
Come on.
48
00:02:15,193 --> 00:02:18,343
Well, America, I'm going to give
him a birthday party
49
00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:19,583
he'll never forget.
50
00:02:19,657 --> 00:02:21,587
And I know I always wanted
to kill the boy,
51
00:02:21,666 --> 00:02:23,626
but this I'm going to kill
the boy with kindness.
52
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,650
America, I'm going to bury him
with presents.
53
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,558
Look here, pimp,
54
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,690
we decided you're going
to have a birthday party.
55
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:35,813
Uh, that's okay.
56
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:36,859
What?
57
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:39,773
Come on, Jordan, I know you had
nine stinkers in the past,
58
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,685
but this time number ten's going
to sweet.
59
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:47,370
Yeah, we can have ice cream and
cake and balloons and tequila.
60
00:02:47,442 --> 00:02:49,662
(whispering)
Sorry...
61
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:50,946
Uh, I don't know.
62
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,293
Look, Jordan,
63
00:02:52,364 --> 00:02:53,834
if they're going
to spend the money
64
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,127
go on and get yours.
65
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:58,169
Yeah... what you mean,
"go on and get yours"?
66
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,835
What? We're saying
the same thing.
67
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:03,474
Oh. Well, come on and get yours.
68
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,260
Okay.
69
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:08,345
America, I'm going to give that
boy a bowling party.
70
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,351
And I'm going
to reserve two lanes,
71
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:13,183
order some pizza
and get him his favorite cake:
72
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,350
angel food Bundt cake
with strawberries.
73
00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,488
Now, I know what you're
thinking, America,
74
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:20,274
but that's what the boy like,
and this is his day.
75
00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:22,070
And he can eat
whatever he want.
76
00:03:22,143 --> 00:03:23,493
He can even eat ice cream
77
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,780
without the lactate pill
if he so wishes.
78
00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:29,365
America, Little J's going
to get his party on, y'all.
79
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:32,202
He going to get his swing on
here tonight.
80
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:35,549
I mean the-the boy never had
a party.
81
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,881
♪♪
82
00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:41,135
Awesome, man.
I love bowling.
83
00:03:41,213 --> 00:03:42,803
Yeah, this is going
to be great.
84
00:03:42,872 --> 00:03:44,092
Gonna have some fun.
85
00:03:44,165 --> 00:03:46,125
Hey, guys, I'm
having a party,
86
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,313
and you're
all invited.
87
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:54,137
This is the same day
as my party.
88
00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,267
Well, what kind
of party is it?
89
00:03:55,343 --> 00:03:57,063
It's a Sword
and Sorcery party.
90
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,357
Cool.
91
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,108
Yeah, I'm having
real midgets
92
00:04:00,181 --> 00:04:01,361
dressed as evil dwarves
93
00:04:01,433 --> 00:04:02,573
and we're renting
the park
94
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:03,742
and we're making
a medieval forest.
95
00:04:03,819 --> 00:04:05,199
Whoa...
96
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:06,489
Well, what are you
going to have
97
00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:07,743
besides bowling, Jordan?
98
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,784
I'm having Harold
The Amazing Magician.
99
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:12,028
My baby brother had him
when he turned four.
100
00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:13,580
What else you got?
101
00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:17,212
We'll have lots of stuff
like cake and ice cream and...
102
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:19,216
I'll be there.
103
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,463
Well, sorry, Jordan,
104
00:04:22,537 --> 00:04:24,887
but we're going
to Billy's party.
105
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,345
Yeah, you should come,
Jordan.
106
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:30,806
See you, Jordan.
107
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,973
Hey, hey, hey!
108
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:36,730
What's the problem?
109
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,642
Billy Genetti's having a party
the same day as I am.
110
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,310
No problem, Jordan.
Some go to his, some go to yours.
111
00:04:41,389 --> 00:04:43,399
No, they're all going to his
'cause his is better.
112
00:04:43,475 --> 00:04:45,095
I told you I didn't
want a party.
113
00:04:45,176 --> 00:04:47,026
Why couldn't we've just gone
to Royal Burger like I said?
114
00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:48,703
Jordan, Jordan...
115
00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:50,566
Man!
116
00:04:50,648 --> 00:04:53,118
Boy, come pick this bag up.
117
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,123
(door slams)
118
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,485
You think he upset?
119
00:04:56,571 --> 00:04:58,921
Yes, sir, I'm not asking
you to cancel.
120
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,289
What I'm asking you
121
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,797
is maybe you and I can
work together on this.
122
00:05:01,877 --> 00:05:04,627
For example, maybe you can move
your party to the morning
123
00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:06,554
and I'll move Jordan's
to the afternoon.
124
00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:08,673
GENETTI:
Oh, here's a thought. No.
125
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:11,470
I'm not moving one candleon my boy's cake.
126
00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:14,894
I mean, sir, Jordan did hand out
his invitations out first.
127
00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:18,524
I mean, that should count
for something, now, don't it?
128
00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:21,063
Listen, you don't buildsix Mr. Pecker's franchises
129
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,811
by being a doorman.
130
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,269
I said no.
131
00:05:24,349 --> 00:05:26,069
Honey, what's
he saying?
132
00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:27,362
Hold on.
133
00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:28,935
Baby, this man
out of his doggone mind.
134
00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:30,400
Man, he won't budge.
135
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:33,027
Sir, look, my nephew is going
to be ten years old.
136
00:05:33,108 --> 00:05:36,458
He never ever had
a birthday party.
137
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:39,416
Well, then he won'tknow what he's missed.
138
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,832
Baby, this punk
hung up on me.
139
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,251
I can't...
140
00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:48,299
Oh, the...
141
00:05:48,373 --> 00:05:49,553
Which one is his house, baby?
142
00:05:49,624 --> 00:05:51,014
We can't cancel
this party.
143
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:51,984
It's his birthday.
144
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,642
We ain't canceling
a damn thing.
145
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,200
Jordan's going to have
his birthday party
146
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,600
and I guarantee all those
ugly kids is going to be there.
147
00:05:57,674 --> 00:05:59,304
And I'm going to tell you
something else.
148
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:01,389
We ain't never eating
no Mr. Pecker's chicken no more.
149
00:06:01,469 --> 00:06:02,569
That nasty-ass chicken.
150
00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:10,528
Can you believe that, America?
151
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:13,323
Genetti tried to ruin
Jordan's birthday party.
152
00:06:13,398 --> 00:06:16,908
Well, if they want to play
hardball, I can, too.
153
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,735
If they have
a triple-layer cake,
154
00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:21,080
well, we just have to have
seven-layer cake.
155
00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:24,206
If they want pony rides, well,
we'll get horseback rides.
156
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,544
Anything they do,
we'll just have to do
157
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,199
a little bit bigger,
that's all.
158
00:06:28,271 --> 00:06:31,591
If they bring on the midgets,
well, we bring out the dwarves
159
00:06:31,666 --> 00:06:33,966
'cause dwarves are a little
bigger than midgets.
160
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,927
Now don't get mad at me,
America.
161
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:37,928
That's science.
162
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:38,936
No.
163
00:06:43,928 --> 00:06:46,318
Ooh, how 'bout the wild west?
164
00:06:46,398 --> 00:06:49,728
Every party-goer
gets a six-shooter and a pair of chaps.
165
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:51,349
And talk about the atmosphere.
166
00:06:51,427 --> 00:06:53,947
I mean, we have a sheriff,
a town drunk, an old dentist
167
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:55,362
and you can choose
how many teeth.
168
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,280
Three or five
or whatever you like.
169
00:06:57,358 --> 00:06:58,868
I did this party
for Ray Romano
170
00:06:58,943 --> 00:07:00,243
and let me tell you,
it was fabulous.
171
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,490
It was shoot 'em up fun.
172
00:07:01,571 --> 00:07:02,511
Yeah.
173
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,249
I don't, don't think...
174
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:06,545
What else you got?
175
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:09,046
Okay, okay, okay.
That's not right for your son.
176
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,299
Well tell me about him.
What does he like?
177
00:07:11,372 --> 00:07:12,302
Bugs.
178
00:07:12,373 --> 00:07:15,263
Mm, bugs.
179
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,505
How about, um... butterflies?
180
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:18,797
Little caterpillars
on the ground
181
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,560
and then they grow
and fly away.
182
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:23,516
Butter...
um, no?
183
00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:25,813
Well, how about aliens?
184
00:07:25,887 --> 00:07:27,147
Jordan likes aliens.
185
00:07:27,222 --> 00:07:28,612
Oh, yeah.
186
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,611
Could you do something
like that, a space theme?
187
00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:33,113
Oh,
space theme.
188
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,486
Hmm, aliens?
189
00:07:35,563 --> 00:07:37,243
Space, the final frontier.
190
00:07:37,315 --> 00:07:40,235
Well, that's going to cost
a little bit extra.
191
00:07:40,318 --> 00:07:44,038
I mean, I can't pull an entire
solar system out of my ass.
192
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:47,827
Well, we won't ask you
to do that.
193
00:07:47,909 --> 00:07:49,959
And money is not a problem,
194
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,046
but I'm quite sure
if you put your mind to it
195
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,415
you can do anything you like.
196
00:07:53,498 --> 00:07:56,128
Thank you, Mr. Mac.
197
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,509
Well, aliens.
198
00:07:58,586 --> 00:08:01,176
Okay, I think
I can help you out.
199
00:08:01,256 --> 00:08:02,876
And there'll be a UFO
200
00:08:02,957 --> 00:08:04,557
and everyone gets to wear
their own space suits.
201
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:06,394
Can we eat dried foods
and pee in a tube?
202
00:08:06,469 --> 00:08:07,839
No.
203
00:08:07,912 --> 00:08:09,902
But you can play laser tag
with your own space blaster.
204
00:08:09,973 --> 00:08:11,123
But how do we know
the kids
205
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,189
are going
to come to my party
206
00:08:12,267 --> 00:08:13,527
over Billy's?
207
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:14,871
Because you got
the big secret surprise.
208
00:08:14,945 --> 00:08:16,355
I do?
What is it?
209
00:08:16,437 --> 00:08:18,147
Come here,
sweetie.
210
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,921
Cool! That's going
to be the greatest!
211
00:08:20,992 --> 00:08:23,292
I want to know
the secret.
212
00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:27,253
How come he gets
all that?
213
00:08:27,323 --> 00:08:29,963
Oh, sweetie, it's because
it's his birthday.
214
00:08:30,034 --> 00:08:33,134
All I got was a cake
and a stupid petting zoo.
215
00:08:33,204 --> 00:08:36,174
You had a birthday party,
so behave.
216
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,589
Last time you had one
217
00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:39,877
you had the whole house
smelling like sheep for a week.
218
00:08:39,961 --> 00:08:42,351
It's your time to shine.
219
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,392
It's my turn!
220
00:08:43,464 --> 00:08:46,274
I'm so excited!
I love you, man!
221
00:08:47,635 --> 00:08:48,765
Congratulations.
222
00:08:48,845 --> 00:08:50,765
You've been given clearance
to Area 51.
223
00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:52,057
Congratulations.
224
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,110
You've been given
clearance to Area 51.
225
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,567
Congratulations.
226
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,697
You've been given clearance
to Area 51.
227
00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:01,611
"Come to Roswell
and find out what secrets
228
00:09:01,691 --> 00:09:03,581
the government
doesn't want you to know."
229
00:09:03,651 --> 00:09:06,121
Well, what is it?
What's the secret?
230
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,749
That's classified information
231
00:09:07,822 --> 00:09:09,792
because if I tell you,
I'd have to kill you.
232
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:12,576
Well, I hear they keep
a crashed UFO there.
233
00:09:12,660 --> 00:09:14,090
I will definitely
be there.
234
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,682
Your party
has a secret?
235
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,217
Yeah.
You should come, Billy.
236
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,593
(bell ringing)
237
00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:23,760
Everybody wants to come.
238
00:09:23,838 --> 00:09:25,358
I have to get more invites.
239
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,430
And we got to get more blasters
for the laser tag.
240
00:09:27,508 --> 00:09:28,928
See? What'd I tell you.
241
00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:31,600
Uncle Bernie ain't going
to let you down. Never.
242
00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:33,769
This is going to be
the best birthday ever.
243
00:09:33,848 --> 00:09:37,948
(phone ringing)
244
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,659
Hello.
245
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,833
Yeah, is Bernie Mac there?
246
00:09:45,910 --> 00:09:48,040
No, he's out shopping
for Jordan's stupid party.
247
00:09:48,112 --> 00:09:49,452
Listen, Sweetheart,
248
00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:50,910
this is Mr. Genetti, okay?
249
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,830
I want you to tell your father
something for me.
250
00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:56,180
you tell him that if he thinks
some secret
251
00:09:56,254 --> 00:09:57,514
is going
to keep us from having...
252
00:09:57,589 --> 00:09:58,669
It's an alien.
253
00:09:58,748 --> 00:10:00,718
It's a what.
254
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:02,126
The secret is an alien.
255
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,680
And everyone can reach in
and pull out his guts,
256
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:07,014
but really
it's just cold spaghetti.
257
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:09,480
(chuckling)
Thank you, precious.
258
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,369
WOMAN: I feel so sorry for this
boy, nobody's showing up.
259
00:10:23,064 --> 00:10:24,874
I know nobody's
going to come.
260
00:10:24,949 --> 00:10:25,989
Nobody's coming!
261
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,327
Calm down, Jordan.
Don't worry.
262
00:10:28,403 --> 00:10:30,043
They're going to come.
263
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,997
Mr. Mac, I think we should
start the alien autopsy.
264
00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,218
The spaghetti is al dente.
265
00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:35,632
No, no, no.
266
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:38,166
Just a few minutes more,
please, okay?
267
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:39,406
Thank you.
268
00:10:39,489 --> 00:10:43,129
Yo, Max, you told me
this whole secret bull
269
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,509
was going to work, man.
270
00:10:44,585 --> 00:10:45,835
Excuse me.
271
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,220
I was not told that we would
be across the park
272
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,181
from a Sword
and Sorcery party.
273
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:52,528
Apparently, you had
a secret, too.
274
00:11:00,151 --> 00:11:02,241
You ain't got to get
all huffy.
275
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,860
(phone ringing)
276
00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:06,489
Hello. Mac.
277
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:07,486
GENETTI:
What was that?
278
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,197
I'm sorry,
I can't hear you
279
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:11,587
over the siege
of the dark castle.
280
00:11:11,663 --> 00:11:12,703
The what?
281
00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:14,710
Kid's having fun
with their swords.
282
00:11:14,782 --> 00:11:18,042
You know, apparently,
boys like real sword fighting
283
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,043
more than they like
poking a dead alien
284
00:11:20,121 --> 00:11:21,631
full of spaghetti.
285
00:11:21,706 --> 00:11:23,126
(laughs)
286
00:11:23,207 --> 00:11:24,377
Ho, ho, ho.
Wait, wait-- the what?
287
00:11:24,459 --> 00:11:25,679
How do you know about
the autopsy?
288
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:26,682
That's top secret.
289
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,387
Oh, was it?
290
00:11:28,463 --> 00:11:29,893
I'm sorry, geez.
291
00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:31,644
Then maybe I shouldn't
have told everyone,
292
00:11:31,716 --> 00:11:33,226
'cause once
they knew the secret,
293
00:11:33,309 --> 00:11:34,809
they just wanted to stay here.
294
00:11:34,886 --> 00:11:36,936
Oh, hey, kids.
295
00:11:37,013 --> 00:11:40,063
Forget everything
I said about that secret.
296
00:11:40,141 --> 00:11:42,441
Oh, hey, Bernie.
297
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:44,898
You got any plastic spoons
you're not using over there,
298
00:11:44,979 --> 00:11:47,029
'cause we... oh, wait.
299
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:49,986
Of course, you do!
300
00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:53,827
Well, baby, Genetti
found out about the autopsy.
301
00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:55,285
How? That's impossible.
302
00:11:55,364 --> 00:11:56,544
I don't know.
303
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:57,666
Somebody
had to rat us out.
304
00:11:57,742 --> 00:11:58,792
I did.
305
00:11:58,868 --> 00:12:00,208
What?
306
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,840
Baby girl,
why you do that?
307
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,557
I was mad at Jordan.
308
00:12:03,631 --> 00:12:06,141
Baby girl, I told you
it was Jordan's birthday.
309
00:12:06,217 --> 00:12:08,217
You had a special birthday.
310
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,734
I was mad.
311
00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:11,934
But I feel much better now.
312
00:12:12,006 --> 00:12:15,056
Baby girl, so what you got
to say for yourself, huh?
313
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:17,944
Sorry, Jordan.
314
00:12:18,012 --> 00:12:19,612
That's okay.
315
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:28,249
Can you believe that, America?
316
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:31,251
Jordan was going to have
such a great birthday party
317
00:12:31,326 --> 00:12:32,526
and it all was spoiled
318
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,660
by a six-year-old
green-eyed monster.
319
00:12:34,737 --> 00:12:37,787
But if Butch Genetti think
he can steal my party,
320
00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:39,575
he got another thing coming.
321
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:42,039
Oh, it's on like it never
been on before.
322
00:12:42,119 --> 00:12:43,799
Oh, it's on.
323
00:12:43,871 --> 00:12:46,211
'Cause by the time I'm done,
they're going to be singing
324
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:47,770
"Crappy Birthday."
325
00:12:47,842 --> 00:12:50,972
Oh, America, I'm telling you,
straight off the press, it's on.
326
00:12:51,045 --> 00:12:54,555
♪♪
327
00:12:56,401 --> 00:13:00,281
♪ Oh, today isyour birthday ♪
328
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,197
♪ And I wish you ♪
329
00:13:02,273 --> 00:13:04,863
Max, Max...
330
00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:06,614
Look, I need your help, man.
331
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,186
This is the worst.
This is horrible.
332
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:09,815
It's just horrible.
333
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,241
Max, pull yourself together.
334
00:13:11,315 --> 00:13:12,715
Turn up the volume
on this party.
335
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,870
There's nothing I can do.
There's nothing I can do.
336
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:17,665
(sobbing)
337
00:13:17,747 --> 00:13:20,367
Max, Max, do... do whatever
it takes. Do it.
338
00:13:20,449 --> 00:13:22,579
I don't... I don't know
what to do.
339
00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:27,170
If money's no problem,
maybe I can do one thing.
340
00:13:27,248 --> 00:13:28,288
Find it.
341
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:32,385
All right, listen up,
you squares.
342
00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:34,811
the warm-up party
is officially over.
343
00:13:34,889 --> 00:13:38,519
And the real party's
about to start across the park
344
00:13:38,593 --> 00:13:41,023
at Jordan's
party planet.
345
00:13:41,095 --> 00:13:46,315
And everyone gets a chance
to ride on Nelly the elephant!
346
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:49,702
(cheering)
347
00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:52,780
Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
348
00:13:52,857 --> 00:13:54,407
If you leave you'll miss
349
00:13:54,483 --> 00:13:56,873
the Dragon's
famous fireworks display.
350
00:13:56,944 --> 00:13:59,624
And I'll let you fire
the rockets yourselves.
351
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,261
(cheering)
352
00:14:06,495 --> 00:14:08,335
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
353
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,128
If you come back,
354
00:14:10,207 --> 00:14:14,387
you get a chance to see
some real fire-eaters
355
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:18,176
and everyone gets a chance
to jump on the trampoline.
356
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:19,637
And besides, it's daytime.
357
00:14:19,717 --> 00:14:22,227
How the hell you going
to see some fireworks?
358
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,607
(cheering)
359
00:14:26,482 --> 00:14:27,862
Hold it!
360
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:29,284
Come back to Billy's party--
361
00:14:29,352 --> 00:14:30,942
I'll give you five bucks apiece.
362
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:33,320
(cheering)
363
00:14:33,397 --> 00:14:35,067
I hope you fall out.
364
00:14:35,149 --> 00:14:38,449
'Cause I'm not giving you
no damn money.
365
00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:40,787
But if you don't come back,
366
00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:45,793
you'll never, ever get a chance
to ride on this!
367
00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:48,888
(children gasping, cheering)
368
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:02,060
Never should have messed with
the Mac man, America.
369
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:05,394
I mean, trying to bribe
little kids with five dollars.
370
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,731
That man is low.
371
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,646
(elephant trumpeting)
372
00:15:09,725 --> 00:15:11,655
We got an elephant.
373
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,530
Hey! I was next!
374
00:15:18,609 --> 00:15:19,739
So?
375
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,119
So, it's my birthday.
376
00:15:21,195 --> 00:15:22,905
Oh. How old are you?
377
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:24,049
Ten.
Ooh.
378
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:25,503
Here's your present.
379
00:15:25,574 --> 00:15:27,474
Ow, ow, ow!
380
00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:29,213
♪ Hurry, hurry, step right up ♪
381
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:35,420
♪ See the sideshow in town foronly fifty cents ♪
382
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:36,841
♪ Step right up ♪
383
00:15:36,919 --> 00:15:39,429
♪ Hurry, hurry ♪
384
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,975
♪ Before the show begins ♪
385
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,950
♪ My friends ♪
386
00:15:49,598 --> 00:15:51,398
♪ Stand in line ♪
387
00:15:51,475 --> 00:15:53,685
♪ Get your tickets ♪
388
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,033
♪ I hope you ♪
389
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:57,914
You know, maybe we'd, uh,
get a little lunch.
390
00:15:57,982 --> 00:16:00,032
I... I didn't mean little.
391
00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:03,039
Seriously, how much could you
really eat?
392
00:16:04,747 --> 00:16:05,907
(sighs)
393
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:07,120
Baby, Wanda, we did it.
394
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:08,539
We did it.
Mm-hmm.
395
00:16:08,617 --> 00:16:09,917
Ooh, honey, should
we do the cake now?
396
00:16:09,994 --> 00:16:12,134
Yeah. You get the cake,
I'll get the birthday boy.
397
00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:13,394
Okay.
Okay.
398
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,720
Birthday boy.
399
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,467
Where's the birthday boy?
400
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:23,595
♪ You'll see that he is sad ♪
401
00:16:23,674 --> 00:16:26,064
♪ He hurts so bad ♪
402
00:16:26,135 --> 00:16:27,845
Jordan, what you doing
over here, man?
403
00:16:27,928 --> 00:16:29,728
You're missing the whole
birthday party.
404
00:16:29,805 --> 00:16:30,695
I hate my birthday.
405
00:16:30,773 --> 00:16:31,903
There's so many people,
406
00:16:31,974 --> 00:16:33,254
I can't even get
to the fun stuff.
407
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,565
That's going to change
right now. Get up.
408
00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:36,403
It's your day
to shine, birthday boy.
409
00:16:36,479 --> 00:16:37,609
Follow me, sparkle.
410
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:38,952
Ow. And don't
call me sparkle.
411
00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:40,123
(mumbling)
...follow me.
412
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:41,319
Hey.
413
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,520
Excuse me.
414
00:16:42,593 --> 00:16:45,043
Yo, yo, yo,
get that elephant out of here.
415
00:16:45,112 --> 00:16:47,002
Breaking off like that
while he's walking.
416
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:48,623
Vile! Excuse me.
Birthday boy.
417
00:16:48,699 --> 00:16:50,579
Excuse me, excuse me,
big fellow.
418
00:16:50,659 --> 00:16:51,999
Birthday boy.
Hey, no cutting.
419
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:52,962
Ain't nobody cutting.
420
00:16:53,037 --> 00:16:54,337
This is the birthday boy.
421
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:55,763
Get first ride.
Come on.
422
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:56,955
How do you like that?
423
00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:58,801
You get the first ride
on this balloon, son,
424
00:16:58,876 --> 00:16:59,926
so I want you to buckle it up.
425
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:01,262
It's your birthday.
426
00:17:01,337 --> 00:17:02,597
GENETTI:
Hey, kids,
427
00:17:02,671 --> 00:17:04,181
the dark tower calls,
428
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:07,216
and the go-carts are on the way!
429
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,595
Genetti!
430
00:17:08,677 --> 00:17:09,887
Punk-ass wizard.
431
00:17:09,970 --> 00:17:11,810
Sabotaging a kid's
birthday party.
432
00:17:11,889 --> 00:17:13,059
You started it.
433
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,734
Get off my kid's trampoline.
434
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:15,823
What don't you make me?
435
00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:16,943
You think I ain't?
436
00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:17,989
You think
I ain't?
437
00:17:18,062 --> 00:17:20,662
You swing like a bitch.
438
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,330
Is that all you got? Come on.
439
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,882
BERNIE:
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
440
00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:32,547
(elephant trumpeting)
441
00:17:35,746 --> 00:17:37,456
I think he's
looking at you, Bernie.
442
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:38,850
I do, too.
443
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,296
Um, help.
444
00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:43,338
Should I be buckled in?
445
00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:45,100
Oh, my boy!
446
00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:46,482
My boy!
447
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:52,557
Uncle Bernie! Help!
I'm leavin'! Help!
448
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,772
Whoa...
449
00:17:54,849 --> 00:17:56,489
♪ Come along,ride on the funk ♪
450
00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:58,117
♪ To the land of funk ♪
451
00:17:58,194 --> 00:18:03,214
♪ Come along and rideon a fantastic voyage ♪
452
00:18:05,943 --> 00:18:12,013
JORDAN:
(screaming) Uncle Bernie. Help!
453
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:15,841
(sirens wailing)
454
00:18:16,453 --> 00:18:19,433
♪ Funk ♪
455
00:18:23,752 --> 00:18:25,012
JORDAN: (screaming)
Help!
456
00:18:25,087 --> 00:18:26,007
♪ There's a partyover there ♪
457
00:18:26,088 --> 00:18:27,398
♪ That ain't no jive ♪
458
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,971
♪ It's live, live, it'sall the way live ♪
459
00:18:29,049 --> 00:18:30,099
♪ Don't even have to walk ♪
460
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:31,446
♪ Don't even have to drive ♪
461
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:33,191
♪ Just slide, glide,slippity-slide ♪
462
00:18:33,262 --> 00:18:34,522
♪ Just forget about yourtroubles ♪
463
00:18:34,597 --> 00:18:35,497
♪ And your nine to five ♪
464
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:36,441
♪ And just sail on ♪
465
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,195
JORDAN: Uncle Bernie!
466
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,538
JORDAN: Anybody!
467
00:18:40,978 --> 00:18:42,358
Get me down!
468
00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:45,538
♪ Let's call itLakeside stank ♪
469
00:18:48,777 --> 00:18:50,667
This is terrible, America.
470
00:18:50,746 --> 00:18:53,656
All I wanted was to give the boy
a nice birthday party.
471
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:55,421
But it's all my fault.
472
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:58,501
I had to go get carried away,
and then he did.
473
00:18:58,579 --> 00:19:00,839
Now I just hope he don't fly up
into the sun.
474
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,459
Oh.
475
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:06,141
JORDAN:
I gotta go pee!
476
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:09,112
Sorry!
477
00:19:12,727 --> 00:19:13,847
Oh, my God.
478
00:19:13,928 --> 00:19:15,018
You're all right.
479
00:19:15,095 --> 00:19:16,395
I was so
worried about you.
480
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:17,646
Ow.
481
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:21,073
Jordan, I'm
so sorry.
482
00:19:21,143 --> 00:19:22,433
Will you please
forgive me, son?
483
00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:24,152
I just wanted
you to have a great birthday.
484
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,200
I did!
485
00:19:25,272 --> 00:19:26,292
You did?
486
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:27,915
This was the best
birthday ever!
487
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,422
This makes up for all
488
00:19:29,493 --> 00:19:30,623
the birthdays I missed.
489
00:19:30,694 --> 00:19:31,744
Thank you.
490
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:33,260
What?
491
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,409
Well, son, let
me go on and get you home,
492
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:36,080
and you tell me
all about it, hear?
493
00:19:36,158 --> 00:19:37,418
Yeah, let's go.
Come here.
494
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,037
Did you know
that birds poop when they fly?
495
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:40,129
Elephants
do, too.
496
00:19:40,204 --> 00:19:41,094
They poop when
they walk, too.
497
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:42,303
They use their left leg.
Oh.
498
00:19:42,373 --> 00:19:43,593
When you were up there,
were you nervous?
499
00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:46,046
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
500
00:19:46,126 --> 00:19:48,436
♪ Happy birthday ♪
501
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,764
So, America,
that's how it happened.
502
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,270
400 miles we chased him
in that balloon.
503
00:19:54,343 --> 00:19:56,483
400 miles.
504
00:19:56,553 --> 00:19:57,923
And if that wasn't enough,
505
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,107
I find myself
with a high-ass party bill,
506
00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:03,152
and I'm fighting a blood feud
with a guy named Genetti.
507
00:20:03,227 --> 00:20:05,567
And stuck with a ticket
from the city
508
00:20:05,646 --> 00:20:08,116
to clean up 80 pounds
of elephant mess.
509
00:20:08,199 --> 00:20:10,619
But I tell you what,
it's all worth it, America.
510
00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:13,793
Just to see the smile
on my man Jordan's face.
511
00:20:13,862 --> 00:20:15,962
But for Vanessa's birthday...
512
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,125
she's definitely going bowling.
513
00:20:23,372 --> 00:20:24,762
Yo, Max! Max!
Hmm?
514
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,340
I really need your help
on this, man.
515
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:27,851
This is the worst.
This is horrible.
516
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:28,947
This is just horrible.
517
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,258
Max, pull yourself together.
518
00:20:30,337 --> 00:20:31,597
Quit acting like a bitch.
519
00:20:33,924 --> 00:20:37,314
Here, take this lollipop
and chill out.
520
00:20:37,386 --> 00:20:40,226
Go on, take it.
521
00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:43,606
And go on, please.
Walk away, child.
522
00:20:43,684 --> 00:20:46,784
Standing all up close to me
to talk on the phone.
523
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,904
Apparently, you got more
than one secret.
524
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,041
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
525
00:20:51,091 --> 00:20:55,641
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