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1
00:00:19,035 --> 00:00:21,595
(coughs)
2
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,425
Yeah, I'm sick.
3
00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:25,607
I'm sick as a dog.
4
00:00:25,684 --> 00:00:28,024
I can't even taste my cigar.
5
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:29,605
You know what?
6
00:00:29,688 --> 00:00:32,808
I didn't even see it coming.
How could I?
7
00:00:32,891 --> 00:00:34,691
Man, I ain't
been sick in years.
8
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:37,818
The last time I was sick,
the Ohio Players had a hit...
9
00:00:37,896 --> 00:00:39,816
♪ Rollercoaster... ♪
10
00:00:39,898 --> 00:00:43,028
You know?
You know?
11
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,700
It's those doggone kids.
12
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,388
Oh, I know what you're saying.
13
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,503
"Bernie Mac, kids so cute
and cuddly."
14
00:00:49,574 --> 00:00:51,174
Not to me.
15
00:00:51,243 --> 00:00:53,423
They're nasty, dirty,
disease-carrying midgets.
16
00:00:53,495 --> 00:00:56,755
Like rats.
Only difference, no tails,
17
00:00:56,832 --> 00:00:58,602
and their teeth not as sharp.
18
00:00:58,676 --> 00:01:01,756
Hey, the only reason I'm talking
about them so bad
19
00:01:01,837 --> 00:01:03,927
is because
they ruined my plan.
20
00:01:04,005 --> 00:01:08,565
All I wanted to do
was to go to Vegas.
21
00:01:10,762 --> 00:01:11,692
(laughing)
22
00:01:11,763 --> 00:01:13,153
Y'all trying to bust, man?
23
00:01:13,223 --> 00:01:14,273
You got kids now.
24
00:01:14,349 --> 00:01:15,419
Bernie, I'm going to bed.
25
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:16,640
Oh, show time over, babe.
26
00:01:16,719 --> 00:01:19,399
No, no, no.
I'm going to bed because I'm tired.
27
00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:21,569
You finish up your game,
Mr. Bachelor.
28
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,208
Oh, and when you become
a daddy again,
29
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:26,334
don't forget to mail
those invitations
30
00:01:26,403 --> 00:01:27,913
for Bryana's birthday party.
31
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,748
Drop it like it's hot, baby.
32
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,205
-Birthday party?
-Yeah.
33
00:01:33,285 --> 00:01:34,125
It's over for you, man.
34
00:01:34,202 --> 00:01:35,172
What you mean
by that?
35
00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:36,585
You ain't coming
to Vegas.
36
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,627
What?
37
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,046
You got kids
with germs
38
00:01:39,124 --> 00:01:41,524
and all kinds
of craziness coming in your house.
39
00:01:41,593 --> 00:01:43,683
First of all, man,
it ain't even like that, you know?
40
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,757
My immune system got me
through the '80s, okay?
41
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,310
And second of all, man,
Bernie Mac don't get sick.
42
00:01:50,385 --> 00:01:54,055
Yeah, yeah.
Bernie Mac don't get sick.
43
00:01:54,139 --> 00:01:55,769
-Tell 'em, big fella.
-Oh, really?
44
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:59,439
Ten bucks says Super Mac
gets sick.
45
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,239
Playing with your life,
big buddy?
46
00:02:02,314 --> 00:02:03,264
Whoa, wait a minute.
47
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,050
I got a little action
on that.
48
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:08,329
20 bucks say Bernie Mac
don't make it to Vegas because he's sick, huh?
49
00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:10,123
First of all, whoa, whoa.
50
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,907
You always cosign
everything this brother say
51
00:02:12,991 --> 00:02:14,171
all the time.
52
00:02:14,242 --> 00:02:15,792
Second of all, it's
not even like that.
53
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,089
It's going to be
a family thing.
54
00:02:17,162 --> 00:02:19,422
A small... a few of
Bryana's friends
55
00:02:19,497 --> 00:02:22,307
going to be over--
that's it. That's all.
56
00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:26,511
Mr. Mac?
57
00:02:26,588 --> 00:02:27,268
Yes?
58
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,927
Hi. Sorry
to bother you.
59
00:02:29,007 --> 00:02:30,047
Hi.
60
00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:31,765
Bryana tells me that
she's having a party
61
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,437
and that you wouldn't let
her invite her whole class.
62
00:02:34,512 --> 00:02:37,232
Bryana, you said that?
You rat on me like that?
63
00:02:37,307 --> 00:02:39,107
I didn't say that, ma'am.
No, I didn't.
64
00:02:39,184 --> 00:02:40,664
You can't do that.
65
00:02:40,736 --> 00:02:42,936
-Pardon?
-See if you invite one child from the class
66
00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:44,861
you have to invite
the whole class.
67
00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:46,160
But you knew that,
right?
68
00:02:46,241 --> 00:02:48,411
So you're saying that
if I invite one child
69
00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:51,865
I have to invite
all these germy, nasty, filthy little kids
70
00:02:51,947 --> 00:02:54,657
to the party, right?
71
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,461
(both laughing)
72
00:02:56,534 --> 00:02:57,714
Yeah.
73
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,166
Right, right.
74
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,956
Listen, I took
the liberty
75
00:03:01,039 --> 00:03:04,389
of inviting everyone
for you, okay?
76
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,599
Hmm. "Took the liberty."
Fine. They all can come.
77
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:10,352
But I'm going
to tell you one thing:
78
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:12,973
If one of those kids cough
and doesn't cover their mouth,
79
00:03:13,051 --> 00:03:16,061
I should have the right
to pop them upside the head.
80
00:03:16,137 --> 00:03:18,017
Hold on.
I didn't say I would do it.
81
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,018
I said I should
have the right.
82
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,030
Putting these
nasty germs on me.
83
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,132
(tooting)
84
00:03:23,212 --> 00:03:25,952
("Rollercoaster" playing)
85
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,618
And Bryana's told me so
much about your Kristin.
86
00:03:30,694 --> 00:03:33,044
We'll have to get together
for lunch sometime.
87
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,037
I would love that.
88
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,304
That would
be good, yeah.
89
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,765
♪ Rollercoaster ♪
90
00:03:52,849 --> 00:03:54,219
♪ Of love ♪
91
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:55,225
♪ Say what? ♪
92
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:56,192
There you go.
93
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:59,020
(sneezes)
94
00:03:59,097 --> 00:03:59,977
♪ Woo, hoo-hoo-hoo ♪
95
00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:03,076
♪ Rollercoaster of love ♪
96
00:04:03,151 --> 00:04:05,781
♪ Rollercoaster ♪
97
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,738
Okay, sweetheart,
let me get this right here. Thank you.
98
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:13,235
I think everybody's ready
for cake now, Bernie.
99
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,000
The name is Mr. Mac
to you, son, okay?
100
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,121
Say it.
101
00:04:17,198 --> 00:04:18,568
-Mr. Mac.
-Thank you.
102
00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:20,670
WANDA:
One more, one more, one more!
103
00:04:20,744 --> 00:04:22,924
(all cheering)
104
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,886
♪ Rollercoaster,woo, hoo-hoo-hoo... ♪
105
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:30,919
Give your girlfriend
a high five.
106
00:04:30,996 --> 00:04:36,056
There you go.
There you go, Bryana and Lori.
107
00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:38,104
Get it! Get it!
108
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:41,408
(all cheering)
109
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,785
(all cheering)
110
00:04:58,665 --> 00:04:59,995
♪ Rollercoaster ♪
111
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:02,079
♪ Say what? ♪
112
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,750
Blow 'em out, baby girl.
Blow 'em out.
113
00:05:03,828 --> 00:05:07,338
♪ Rollercoaster,woo-hoo-hoo-hoo ♪
114
00:05:07,415 --> 00:05:10,635
♪ Rollercoaster of love...♪
115
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:20,022
(kids coughing)
116
00:05:20,095 --> 00:05:22,065
(hacking cough)
117
00:05:26,601 --> 00:05:29,411
(coughing continues)
118
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,169
(gagging)
119
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:50,097
Oh, Lord, Jesus, no.
120
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,525
-Bernie?
-Huh?
121
00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:53,967
-What's wrong?
-Baby, don't go in there, please.
122
00:05:54,045 --> 00:05:58,885
-Oh, Bernie.
-They got Ebola. I know what's going on.
123
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,067
Come here.
124
00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:03,903
See, they got sick on purpose.
125
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:08,232
Doing everything they can
to keep me from going to Vegas.
126
00:06:08,309 --> 00:06:10,069
Probably was Vanessa's idea.
127
00:06:10,145 --> 00:06:12,075
Mm-hmm.
128
00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:17,491
Hmm, 101.
129
00:06:17,569 --> 00:06:18,959
My poor babies.
130
00:06:19,037 --> 00:06:20,997
Bernie, would you
help me here?
131
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,281
Um, yes.
132
00:06:22,357 --> 00:06:24,417
Take your temperature, boy.
133
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,536
-I feel great.
-Are you sure?
134
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,749
-Mm-hmm.
-Look Bernie, if you're not going to come in
135
00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:30,480
why don't you run
Jordan to school,
136
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:31,877
and I'll stay here
with the girls till you get back.
137
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:35,928
Okay. Come on, boy.
Making me miss Regis and Kelly.
138
00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:38,894
-You know I like to watch
TV this time of the day. -Sorry.
139
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:42,099
♪ It's a beautiful morn... ♪
140
00:06:42,177 --> 00:06:44,097
(whistling tune)
141
00:06:44,179 --> 00:06:45,329
JORDAN:
Uh-oh.
142
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,265
BERNIE:
Oh, what, you forgot something?
143
00:06:46,347 --> 00:06:47,437
JORDAN: (retching)
144
00:06:47,515 --> 00:06:50,435
BERNIE:
Oh Lord, Jesus, no!
145
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,942
Jordan, don't lay in it!
146
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,445
Stop laying in it.
147
00:06:54,522 --> 00:06:58,242
I'm talking about
2002 Escalade.
148
00:06:58,318 --> 00:06:59,778
Cadillac.
149
00:06:59,861 --> 00:07:01,741
You be mad, too.
150
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:06,251
Still had the new car smell
and everything.
151
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:09,376
Plush interior,
calf leather seats,
152
00:07:09,454 --> 00:07:11,134
diamond in the back...
153
00:07:11,206 --> 00:07:12,136
you know the rest.
154
00:07:18,922 --> 00:07:21,592
(water running)
155
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,773
That little liar.
156
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:30,196
Said he didn't eat
my pork chop.
157
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,241
That's my boy.
158
00:07:36,314 --> 00:07:39,244
Take it like a man,
like a man.
159
00:07:39,317 --> 00:07:42,447
Go ahead, make fun of me.
160
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,289
Say I look silly.
161
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,464
So what?
162
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:46,832
Sticks and stones may...
163
00:07:46,908 --> 00:07:50,638
JORDAN:
Uncle Bernie, I'm cold.
164
00:07:50,712 --> 00:07:53,962
I'll be right back.
165
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,720
Uncle Bernie...
166
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:57,762
Uncle Bernie, I'm cold.
167
00:07:57,835 --> 00:07:59,505
You ain't cold, boy.
That's just your chills
168
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,021
fighting your fever.
169
00:08:01,097 --> 00:08:02,267
Okay.
170
00:08:08,346 --> 00:08:09,646
Yeah, where was I?
171
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:12,022
Oh, yeah, sticks and stones.
172
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:15,190
I bet you won't be laughing
at me when I be in Vegas
173
00:08:15,270 --> 00:08:18,360
chillin' at the roulette table,
I bet you that.
174
00:08:18,439 --> 00:08:20,039
I bet you won't be...
175
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:23,697
(muffled)
Uncle Bernie, you left the thermometer in my mouth.
176
00:08:23,778 --> 00:08:26,838
Hold on one minute.
177
00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:32,876
That's a good look
for you.
178
00:08:32,954 --> 00:08:35,804
Actually, I got it from
your Aunt Wanda, baby.
179
00:08:35,873 --> 00:08:37,973
If it's any of your business.
180
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,886
Okay, here you go.
181
00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:51,193
Would you tell him
to get me a juice?
182
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,694
Uncle Bernie,
could you get Vanessa a juice?
183
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,481
I'm sitting right here.
184
00:08:56,552 --> 00:08:57,742
Why didn't you ask me
while I was in here a minute ago?
185
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,566
Tell him I wasn't
thirsty then.
186
00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:02,988
She says she wasn't
thirsty then.
187
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:04,277
I heard her.
188
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,960
Ask her what did I do to her
189
00:09:06,037 --> 00:09:08,037
to make her talk
to me like she do.
190
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:10,004
What? You can't talk
to me directly?
191
00:09:10,074 --> 00:09:11,584
You the one sitting up here
talking to your brother.
192
00:09:11,659 --> 00:09:13,049
I'm just messing
with you.
193
00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:16,498
Oh, girl, make me sick
every doggone day.
194
00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:19,021
You make me sick!
195
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,692
Oh, boy.
196
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,894
JORDAN:
Uncle Bernie, I need a cough drop.
197
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,345
VANESSA:
And ask him where my juice is.
198
00:09:28,426 --> 00:09:32,146
JORDAN:
Where's Vanessa's juice?
199
00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:34,281
A few minutes.
200
00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:41,405
Juice.
201
00:09:41,489 --> 00:09:43,619
JORDAN:
Hey, wait, where's my cough drop?
202
00:09:43,691 --> 00:09:45,081
Aw, man.
203
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,713
Oh, no!
204
00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:02,696
(chuckles)
205
00:10:02,777 --> 00:10:03,797
See, I know
what you're thinking.
206
00:10:03,878 --> 00:10:06,598
Bernie, why you so dramatic?
207
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,173
Dramatic?
208
00:10:08,249 --> 00:10:10,429
If you've never been
to Vegas with the boys,
209
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,130
I can't explain it to you.
210
00:10:12,203 --> 00:10:14,603
Only thing I can say to you--
Viva Las Vegas, baby.
211
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:19,481
BRYANA :
Uncle Bernie, I had a BM and I threw up.
212
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,334
I'm sick of this.
213
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:27,493
That's most of it.
214
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,122
Now for you...
215
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:32,255
hop in the tub
so I can hose you down.
216
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:45,971
Ah! Ready for the day, Bernie.
217
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:50,135
Tongue same color,
lymph nodes looking good--
218
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,676
eyes not bloodshot.
219
00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:53,019
Good boy. Good boy.
220
00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:55,534
Who's the man?
You're the man.
221
00:10:55,605 --> 00:10:58,265
Strong, healthy, black man.
222
00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:00,359
♪ Da-ah-da-ah ♪
223
00:11:00,435 --> 00:11:02,605
♪ Ba-ba, da-ah-da-ah ♪
224
00:11:02,687 --> 00:11:05,237
♪ Time to celebrate ♪
225
00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:06,824
♪ Celebrate ♪
226
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,499
♪ Bernie Mac's
going to Vegas ♪
227
00:11:09,577 --> 00:11:11,037
♪ Going to Vegas ♪
228
00:11:11,112 --> 00:11:13,412
♪ Whatcha gonna eat
something... ♪
229
00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:15,159
♪ Something healthy? ♪
230
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,501
♪ Hell, no ♪
231
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,287
♪ Da-da-da,
da-da-da-da ♪
232
00:11:20,371 --> 00:11:21,301
♪ Cake ♪
233
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:23,512
♪ Cake ♪
234
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,973
♪ Whatcha gonna eat? ♪
235
00:11:26,043 --> 00:11:28,013
♪ Whatcha gonna eat,
something healthy? ♪
236
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:29,097
♪ Birthday cake. ♪
237
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:32,270
♪ Rollercoaster of love ♪
238
00:11:32,341 --> 00:11:33,521
♪ Say what ♪
239
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,743
♪ Rollercoaster ♪
240
00:11:40,475 --> 00:11:41,475
(coughing)
241
00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,229
Yeah...
242
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:45,071
now I got it.
243
00:11:45,146 --> 00:11:46,356
Y'all saw me.
244
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,859
I was careful.
245
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,870
I used all the precautions.
246
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:52,032
It's those doggone kids.
247
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,831
I should have laminated
those doggone kids.
248
00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:57,035
What the heck was I thinking?
But that's okay.
249
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,666
Now my boys going to Vegas
without me.
250
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,838
But all Bernie Mac got to do
251
00:12:01,913 --> 00:12:04,553
is get a little rest,
a little shut eye,
252
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,064
catch the red eye.
253
00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:09,104
Little shut eye, baby,
Bernie Mac catch the red eye.
254
00:12:11,589 --> 00:12:13,719
The kids are feeling better,
so I'll run them to school,
255
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,680
so you have nothing
to worry about.
256
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:18,034
Mm-mm-mm-mm.
257
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,904
I'll come home early
to check on you.
258
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:22,522
Bring you some ginger ale with
all the bubbles stirred out.
259
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,860
That'll settle your stomach.
260
00:12:23,935 --> 00:12:27,135
(incoherent mumbling)
261
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:34,243
I know, baby, I know.
262
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,000
What can a mama do?
263
00:12:37,031 --> 00:12:39,301
Can you rub some of that
on my chest?
264
00:12:42,954 --> 00:12:44,804
You know, I wouldn't
ask you, but...
265
00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:46,262
That's okay.
There's a baby.
266
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,592
The mama little baby and the
mother...
267
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,428
No, sir. No, sir.
268
00:12:50,512 --> 00:12:53,352
You all not going to watch her
rub that stuff on my chest.
269
00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:56,472
Uh-uh. Ain't nothing sacred
between man and wife?
270
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:57,725
Y'all just nosy.
271
00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,351
You always want to be
in somebody's business.
272
00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:03,109
WANDA:
Oh honey, Bryana's feeling a little feverish.
273
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:04,112
Are you well enough
to keep an eye on her?
274
00:13:04,192 --> 00:13:05,742
I'm going to leave her at home.
275
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,459
Hey, Aunt Wanda,
276
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,567
I can stay home
and watch Bryana if you want.
277
00:13:08,646 --> 00:13:10,026
I mean, it's not a problem.
278
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:11,656
No, no, no.
Nice try, baby girl,
279
00:13:11,732 --> 00:13:13,242
but you just trying
to get out of school.
280
00:13:13,317 --> 00:13:15,277
I ain't that sick.
I'll be all right.
281
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,325
You go on to school.
282
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:17,334
Let's go.
283
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:18,445
BERNIE:(coughing)
284
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,341
WANDA:
Jordan?
285
00:13:33,254 --> 00:13:36,114
Uncle Bernie,
will you play with me?
286
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,597
Bryana, Uncle Bernie tired.
287
00:13:39,677 --> 00:13:41,097
Can you play
by yourself today?
288
00:13:41,178 --> 00:13:44,148
Okay. I'll get the scissors.
289
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:46,693
No, no, baby,
don't get no scissors.
290
00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:47,937
I'll play with you, okay?
291
00:13:48,019 --> 00:13:49,739
For just ten minutes.
292
00:13:49,812 --> 00:13:52,492
This is Chrissy
and yours is Cindy.
293
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,275
All right.
294
00:13:54,358 --> 00:13:55,358
(sighs)
295
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:56,994
I'm going to the store.
296
00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:58,739
Do you want to go?
297
00:13:58,821 --> 00:13:59,801
Mm-mm.
298
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:03,003
No, Uncle Bernie, not like that.
299
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:07,085
You have to
hold her up.
300
00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:08,503
(sighs)
301
00:14:08,573 --> 00:14:10,633
Okay, just go
to the store.
302
00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:11,798
BERNIE:
No.
303
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,126
No, Uncle Bernie.
304
00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:15,680
You have to talk
like Cindy.
305
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,255
BERNIE (high voice):
No.
306
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:20,148
You have to say "yes,"
Uncle Bernie.
307
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:21,276
Yes.
308
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,640
Okay. Let's go
to the store.
309
00:14:23,721 --> 00:14:25,281
All right.
310
00:14:25,357 --> 00:14:27,767
No, Uncle Bernie, she
doesn't walk like that.
311
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,400
She walks like this.
312
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:30,607
Okay, Bryana, Bryana...
313
00:14:30,686 --> 00:14:31,726
-Like this.
-Okay.
314
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:33,195
But, Bryana, Uncle Bernie,
315
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:35,532
he's too old
to play with dolls.
316
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,038
Can we play
something else, baby?
317
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,046
(drum beating)
318
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:57,394
I'm going to read to you
and make you feel all better.
319
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,263
That'd be nice, baby girl.
320
00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:02,680
But first, Uncle Bernie
going to take a nap
321
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,690
for one hour--
just one hour,
322
00:15:04,762 --> 00:15:07,692
and then you can read,
we play dollies,
323
00:15:07,765 --> 00:15:09,815
or whatever else
you want to do, okay?
324
00:15:09,892 --> 00:15:11,032
Okay.
325
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,911
-Good.
-But first I'll read to you.
326
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:19,878
Once upon a time, there
was a beautiful princess
327
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:23,833
who lived in a big,
beautiful, purple castle
328
00:15:23,906 --> 00:15:25,076
with orange, too.
329
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:29,037
She had 13 dogs and eight cats
330
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,090
and no birds.
331
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:34,173
And what else h-happened...
332
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:37,430
the... the bear died...
333
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:40,723
because...the bear dies, because...
334
00:15:40,798 --> 00:15:42,258
...if he lives
somewhere...
335
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:46,641
if he lives somewhere,
he would, um...
336
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,805
He would d...
he wouldn't die.
337
00:15:48,889 --> 00:15:51,069
If he wouldn't
live nowhere
338
00:15:51,142 --> 00:15:53,362
he would die,
but there was...
339
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:56,450
Man, I don't know
how much more I can take.
340
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:57,602
America, I'm sorry,
341
00:15:57,673 --> 00:15:59,823
but this girl
about to drive me crazy.
342
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:02,580
I didn't know
she knew that many words.
343
00:16:02,653 --> 00:16:03,903
Y'all got to pray for me.
344
00:16:03,979 --> 00:16:05,829
I'm telling you,
you got to pray for me.
345
00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:08,786
(stops talking)
346
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,588
I think she through.
347
00:16:19,336 --> 00:16:22,806
Uncle Bernie!
Uncle Bernie!
348
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,722
(whimpers)
349
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,890
Why you crying?
350
00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:32,149
Oh, Bryana, girl...
351
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:33,904
it's only 10:00
in the morning.
352
00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:37,946
I know, just
play parade again.
353
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,781
No, no, I don't want
to play no parade.
354
00:16:40,858 --> 00:16:44,828
Hey, I got an idea.
355
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,704
Come on, sit with Uncle
Bernie right quick.
356
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:49,285
Oh... I got an idea.
357
00:16:49,366 --> 00:16:51,666
Let's play hide-and-seek.
358
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,244
Yay!
359
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,171
Okay, you hide
and I come look for you.
360
00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:56,837
I'll count to 100, okay?
361
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,336
-Okay.
-Okay. One...
362
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:00,837
two...
363
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,850
Three. Hide good now.
364
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,233
Oh... One...
365
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,643
two...
366
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,600
(snoring)
367
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,070
BRYANA: (crying)
368
00:17:18,562 --> 00:17:20,252
Oh, Bryana.
369
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:25,527
Baby girl, I'm sorry
370
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,501
I didn't come looking
for you, okay?
371
00:17:27,571 --> 00:17:29,581
You hurt my feelings,
Uncle Bernie.
372
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:32,917
Oh... Bryana, you the last
person I want to hurt.
373
00:17:32,993 --> 00:17:34,493
I just had to
get some rest.
374
00:17:34,571 --> 00:17:37,631
I'm trying to get better
so I can go to Vegas.
375
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:39,836
Hey...
376
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:41,877
Hey, baby girl, you
see this timer?
377
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,691
It's set for one hour.
378
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,846
In one hour, you're going
to hear ding-ding.
379
00:17:45,923 --> 00:17:46,923
When you hear ding-ding,
380
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,100
you and me can play
all you want.
381
00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:52,476
Before ding-ding, me.
After ding-ding, you. Okay?
382
00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:53,315
Okay.
383
00:17:53,398 --> 00:17:54,218
Say "ding-ding."
384
00:17:54,299 --> 00:17:56,569
-Ding-ding.
-Girl, that's it.
385
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,942
(humming)
386
00:17:59,019 --> 00:18:01,239
BERNIE:
Bryana, come here, baby girl!
387
00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:03,413
I can't, Uncle Bernie.
388
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:05,872
You need to
get your rest.
389
00:18:05,943 --> 00:18:07,683
Never mind that.
Listen...
390
00:18:07,762 --> 00:18:11,332
go into the hall closet,
get me some toilet tissue
391
00:18:11,407 --> 00:18:12,867
and throw it to me, okay?
392
00:18:12,950 --> 00:18:14,280
Hurry up. It's important.
393
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:18,250
I can't, Uncle Bernie.
It didn't go ding-ding.
394
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,010
Ding-ding, baby girl,
ding-ding.
395
00:18:20,082 --> 00:18:21,232
Hurry up, now.
396
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,838
Uncle Bernie, did
you have a BM,
397
00:18:23,919 --> 00:18:25,719
or are you throwing up?
398
00:18:25,796 --> 00:18:28,606
Hurry, hurry up!
Come on, Bryana, hurry up!
399
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:31,772
I can't reach it.
400
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,734
BERNIE:
Okay, listen, listen, listen.
401
00:18:33,804 --> 00:18:35,104
Go in the kitchen,
402
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,191
pour yourself some juice,
403
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:40,896
and stay in the kitchen
and drink it, okay?
404
00:18:40,978 --> 00:18:42,328
Okay.
405
00:18:42,405 --> 00:18:44,285
All right, hurry up,
baby girl, hurry up!
406
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,708
Drinking your juice?
407
00:18:57,786 --> 00:18:58,916
I drank it.
408
00:18:58,996 --> 00:19:01,306
All right, get yourself another.
409
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,435
Mmm, I'm so glad
he got his rest.
410
00:19:15,512 --> 00:19:19,272
Shh, come on,
let's let them sleep.
411
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:22,070
I'll take you
to get some tacos.
412
00:19:22,144 --> 00:19:23,404
-You like tacos?
-I don't know.
413
00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:24,949
-You don--you don't?
-No
414
00:19:25,022 --> 00:19:28,172
(door closes)
415
00:19:30,027 --> 00:19:31,587
(car starting)
416
00:19:31,662 --> 00:19:34,502
Wanda! Wanda! Wanda!
417
00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:36,123
Wanda...
418
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:41,184
(crying)
Wanda... Wanda...
419
00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:48,635
Uncle Bernie, do you remember
you told us
420
00:19:48,712 --> 00:19:51,512
not to throw anything
on the floor
421
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,020
or we might break something?
422
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:54,983
Yeah.
423
00:19:55,052 --> 00:19:56,982
Chrissy didn't listen.
424
00:19:57,054 --> 00:19:59,814
Maybe we should give her
a time out.
425
00:19:59,890 --> 00:20:01,870
Okay.
426
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,365
Grownups shouldn't be left alone
with kids all day.
427
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:12,371
It ain't right.
It's not natural.
428
00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:15,204
Like fish flying,
birds in the sea.
429
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,921
This is my kin,
my flesh and blood.
430
00:20:16,999 --> 00:20:20,129
But I'm going to say it,
you ain't going to like it.
431
00:20:20,202 --> 00:20:24,592
She's boring, dull...
dull as a rock.
432
00:20:24,665 --> 00:20:26,715
This was the dullest day
of my life.
433
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:30,052
Had I spent another day
with her--another minute,
434
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,559
I probably would have...
435
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,900
Uncle Bernie,
you hurt my feelings.
436
00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:39,125
(clears throat)
437
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,555
Um, come here, baby girl.
438
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:43,229
Come sit with
me for a while.
439
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,993
Oh, Bryana, oh.
440
00:20:46,061 --> 00:20:48,781
I'm sorry.
441
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,486
You know what?
442
00:20:50,566 --> 00:20:52,866
I appreciate you taking
care of your Uncle Bernie
443
00:20:52,943 --> 00:20:54,663
like you did today, okay?
444
00:20:54,737 --> 00:20:55,817
Okay.
445
00:20:55,897 --> 00:20:57,667
Now, do me a favor,
go in the kitchen,
446
00:20:57,748 --> 00:20:59,658
make yourself
something to drink.
447
00:20:59,734 --> 00:21:02,214
I got to finish talking to
America right now, okay?
448
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,750
-Okay.
-Okay.
449
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,429
Love you.
450
00:21:09,376 --> 00:21:12,586
She's still dull, boring.
451
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:14,601
Anyway, I didn't get no better.
452
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:17,603
Didn't even get a chance
to go to Vegas.
453
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:20,816
But I did get a chance
to play blackjack.
454
00:21:25,893 --> 00:21:27,143
Hit me.
455
00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:29,899
Uncle Bernie,
you can't hit on 20.
456
00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:31,070
He's stupid.
457
00:21:31,148 --> 00:21:32,918
Hit me. Come on.
458
00:21:43,786 --> 00:21:47,296
who lived in a big, beautiful,
purple castle
459
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,673
with orange, too.
460
00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:53,340
She had 13 dogs
and eight cats
461
00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:54,760
and no birds.
462
00:21:54,838 --> 00:21:58,968
What color was it?
Purple or orange?
463
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:01,521
It was, it was purple.
464
00:22:01,595 --> 00:22:04,935
Just making up stuff.
465
00:22:05,015 --> 00:22:06,655
You did that.
466
00:22:08,268 --> 00:22:09,278
You can't read.
467
00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:10,332
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
468
00:22:10,382 --> 00:22:14,932
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