Original subtitles

And there we go. "It's laughter we're after."

Yeah. New slogan's kind of growing on me.

And our very own MIFTer, Double T, came up with it.

-That's right. -I still like mine.

"Funny business is our business.

"And it's none of your business, so mind your own business."

-(ENGINE STARTS) -Yeah. Yeah. That is way better.

Remember to tip your monster. I'll be here all week. (CHUCKLES)

Hey, hey, Mikey!

How's my favorite monster of comedy?

On top of the world, Sulley.

Look around. My comedy classes have really paid off.

Only one laugh station left to fill.

Yep, Monsters Inc.'s future could not be brighter.

By brighter, I meant more bright than this.

-Like, not dark. -(BUZZER SOUNDS)

Although some dark is actually okay.

But this dark, it's... it's very not bright.

Good night

So I said to Celia, "Listen, order mine with the mildew on the side,

-"I'm watching my shape..." -CELIA: Mike! Sulley!

She's back!

-Yikes! -Mike...

Roz, so nice of you to gross us with your presence.

You've been oozing weight.

The Monstropolis Energy Regulatory Commission has determined

you're not generating enough power.

You work for M.E.R.C. now?

There's a lot about me you don't know.

Roz, laugh power's ten times more powerful than scream.

The commission isn't convinced it's reliable.

Therefore, we're transferring all power needs to Fear Co.

-Fear Co. still uses scare power. -We won't go down without a fight.

We can provide all the power the city needs.

There's gotta be a way we can prove it.

Sure, Sulley. But it's not like we can generate a million gigglewatts in a day.

-It's a deal! -Deal? What deal? I made a deal?

Generate a million gigglewatts in one day,

and laugh power is saved.

But we only generate half that now.

Just give us time to figure out the laughgistics.

-Tomorrow. -Tomorrow? Right, well... (CHUCKLES)

That gives us plenty of today time.

All righty, MIFTers, as you all have heard, Monsters Inc. has to...

Whoa! Who put you in charge of the dry erase board?

You need deputy supervisor permission to use that equipment.

Can I use the dry erase board, Duncan?

Yeah, go ahead. No big deal. Continue.

Monsters Inc. has to increase its gigglewatt output, or we're shut down.

So, I thought us MIFTers could get to working on some ideas.

I got an idea. Go back to scream power.

-If it ain't broke... -Duncan!

Bump my pay, I'll laugh all the way to the bank, amigo.

Uh, okay, let's think this through.

Ten times the power means ten times the canisters.

So, maybe instead of the little canisters, we make a bigger canister.

FRITZ: But bigger than your drawing?

'Cause the one in your drawing looks so small and cute.

Fewer canisters, less load and reload time.

A more efficient Laugh Floor.

I like my "bring back scare power" idea. Boom, scream, done.

Cutter, make a prototype, but bigger than the drawing.

Big canister. Picking up what you're putting down. On it.

Well, uh, there's probably gonna be more stuff to figure out.

You think you'll have time between regular work and comedy class?

Oh, well, I, uh... I wouldn't worry about that.

-VAL: Huh? -I am not going to comedy class anymore.

-Uh, but, uh... -I threw all my jokester stuff away.

You know, the books, the naked poultry, the...

No, you didn't.

Yeah, threw it all away in the trash.

-All of it. -I don't believe you.

Yeah, Val, the, uh... The jokester thing just...

was, uh... never really gonna happen.

But, uh, you know, full-time MIFTer here.

(CHUCKLES) Guess you're stuck with me for good.

ANNOUNCER: Tylor Tuskmon, report to the Simulation Room.

The doctor said he couldn't see him right now. (CHUCKLES)

Are the peels supposed to do something or is that on me?

Box, box, box. Rope, rope. Wind.

As you can see, Mr. Tuskmon, you are a tragically unfunny monster,

which is what I said out loud,

right to your face the last time I saw you.

But... then this happened.

See that?

Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, Ms. Flint.

Mini Monster Day was kind of, uh, rough for me.

No, no! That!

My daughter. She's smiling.

Because of you.

It's the power of laughter, and you have it.

I do?

Oh, I share your disbelief. But I've crunched the numbers.

Those horns combined with an uncontrolled fall

resulting in debris hanging from said horns yield significant gigglewatts.

The simple physics of physical comedy.

What she means is, "Kid, you're a natural."

Well, he auditioned 15 times.

Kid, you're persistent.

And we got one station left on that Laugh Floor.

I need you to fill it.

-You mean, I'm a jokester? -In training.

You help us hit a million gigglewatts, I'd say you got a pretty good chance.

Internal transfer document, child hazard release,

life liability waiver, I-9 form, anti-social security.

Boy, you must be excited to be getting out of MIFT.

Well, it's not official. Just, uh, in training.

Talk about a bunch of weirdos!

Well, they're actually not that weird. They, uh, kind of grow on you.

Wait a minute.

You still wanna be a jokester, don't you?

-Oh, yeah! Well, yes. Of course. -Good!

Closet malfunction insurance, laffateria discount,

gross salary plus over-slime.

SULLEY: "It's laughter we're after."

You're the one that came up with that, remember?

Your first day here.

You've done something even James P. Sullivan himself hasn't done.

Gone from scarer to jokester.

Just, uh, in training.

You're nervous. I understand.

I just wish we could go back to scare power, you know?

I mean, that's what I'm good at.

And you, you could be back on the Scare Floor, be Top Scarer again.

I never told you about what happened with Boo.

The fear in her eyes when she was scared.

I... I didn't like what I saw.

What I saw in me.

Laugh power is the heart of the new Monsters Inc.

And it's also the right thing to do.

-(GASPS) Are those Krispy Screams? -Yeah. Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Should have a big canister prototype soon.

Very good, Cutter.

(SNIFFS) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Krispy Screams!

Yeah. I'm trying to cut back, hon.

So, uh, only three for me. Yeah.

Give me seven.

So, what happened? You never came back yesterday.

I mean, I was getting my hopes up. (LAUGHS)

Um, well, uh, yesterday Mike said he's got one station left on the Laugh Floor and...

-Well... -He made you a jokester?

TYLOR: Uh, jokester in training.

Congrats! It's what you wanted since the day you got here.

What? Oh, yeah, great. Yeah, totally.

A jokester? But I thought you weren't funny.

It's just for today. It's not like, you know, official.

Come on! If you help 'em hit a million gigglewatts,

there's no way Mr. Wazowski's letting you go.

Yeah. I guess. Um...

But, hey, you know what? I'll still be around.

So, it's not goodbye.

MIKE: (OVER PA) Can I have your attention?

Tylor Tuskmon, please report to morning warm-up.

Tylor... Tylor, get up here!

Goodbye.

And don't let the door hit you in the horns on the way out.

A million gigglewatts! Let's get those funny bones warmed up.

Keep going. Fit monsters are funny monsters.

Funny face, funny face, funny face. Hallway light!

Spin left, spin right. Spin left, spin right.

More donuts, more funny.

Kid, that's funny. Perfect!

Hey, Fritz, I cleared out Tylor's desk. Where do you want all this?

FRITZ: (CRYING) Who cares?

I gotta get back to working on the canister, so I'll just, uh...

put this here before you start blubbering.

Too late.

On his first day here, I told Ty-Ty I could be like a father to him.

-He's got a father. -A grandfather.

-Okay. -Great-grandfather.

-Okay. -Or the father that he never knew he had,

and then shows up one day with a lousy explanation

-as to where he's been all your life. -Uh-huh.

(SOBBING) I just want him back!

Uh, you realize, if it all works out, he'll just be upstairs.

Right.

Hey, that gives me an idea.

Heya, Winchester!

Welcome aboard! Hope your first day isn't your last. Ha!

(CHUCKLES) Me too. Me too. Thanks!

-Yeah, I'll... see you out there. -See ya!

-"It's laughter we're after!" -SANDERSON: You got it.

-(DOOR CLOSES) -I came up with... I came up with that.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

TYLOR: Big day, huh?

Tylor Tuskmon, new guy. Uh, Phlegm, right?

Uh, yeah.

But, um, I actually use this time to prepare mentally for my performance

and prefer no distractions.

Oh, sure, sure. Yeah, I get it.

Thank you!

Ouch! Ouch! (YELPS)

All right, monsters of comedy, this is it.

One million gigglewatts is our goal, or... (IMITATES SLITTING THROAT)

See you on the Laugh Floor in one hour.

Ty-Ty, we need you down in MIFT.

-There's an emergency! -What kind?

I can't tell you. It's a surprise.

A surprise emergency... with cake!

-VAL: Surprise, Double T. -Thank you. You're welcome!

A surprise emergency!

-VAL: Whoo-hoo! -(HORN TOOTS)

I know we don't have much time, but we wanted to wish you good luck.

-Help yourself to some dead David cake. -VAL: Not dead!

It's been in the freezer for a few years, so it's got a little bite.

Aw! Thanks, guys. That's really kind.

I wish I had more time, but I have to get upstairs.

Right! Now, everybody, pick a letter in Tylor's name

and say something nice and good luck-y about him.

Oh, I'll go first.

Uh... "T."

"T" is for "treason."

Something nice!

Tedious. Tiresome. Two-faced!

-VAL: Duncan! -Yeah, yeah, all right. Uh...

Well, "T" is, uh, for (SNIFFLES) "thank you."

Thank you for being a worthy,

stupid adversary.

"Y" is for "You proved me wrong, kid."

Figured you'd leave here in a box. Consider me impressed.

"L" is for "love."

As in, we love you, Tylor.

And we sure would love you to stay, but...

"O" is for "Oh, well."

"R" is for "remember."

Remember when I met you in Origins of Fear class?

(CRYING) I thought to myself,

"One day that big doofus is gonna be my best... (SNIFFLES) bud."

Uh, wow, guys. Thanks. It means a lot.

The day I got here,

this was the last place that I wanted to be.

I mean, the fluorescent lights gave me headache.

It smelled like Roto's pee. But now...

Maybe this is where I belong.

-CUTTER: You're staying? -You want to stay?

-You wanna stay? -Are you sure?

'Cause I know you, and you really...

Don't question it, Val.

He wants to stay. He just said he wants to stay.

Well, okay.

You did throw away all your joke stuff.

Welcome back to MIFT, Ty-Ty. Val, help me with his box.

(SINGING) I was so sad

The boy I never had

Up and ran away

But now, I'm filled with joy

My metaphoric boy

Has come back...

-(TOY SQUEAKS) -Huh?

I knew it. He didn't throw out his joke stuff.

"Dear Mister Tuskmon..."

Oh, boy. Thank you, Winchester.

MONSTER: Yeah! Yeah!

You all set, jokester-in-training?

Oh, it's just for today, for Monsters Inc.

You know, for Sulley. Then back to being a MIFTer.

-Right. -MIKE: Great! There you are, kid.

Come on, we're about to go live.

All right, this is it.

One million gigglewatts is our goal. No pressure. Have fun.

But we're dead if we don't do it.

Uh, sorry. Celia, I don't have a door.

Is there someone who...

Oh, we're a little understaffed.

I was gonna help you, but Roz has me up to my snakes in paperwork.

Maybe Fungus could help?

I'll do it. I know how to run the door station.

Perfect. Here, this should get you started.

Oh, thank you, Val.

Door time.

I'm really glad you're here.

Me too. Now, let's get those giggles.

Ready? In five, four, three, two, one!

Here goes.

Whoa! (GRUNTS)

Hey, good job.

Was it? I mean, she hardly even giggled.

-Well, it's a start. -FRITZ: Ty-Ty!

-Get back in there, muscles! -You got more giggles to get.

Rah-rah, sis boom blah.

-(DOOR DINGS) -Here we go!

Whoa!

MIKE: Get me another canister, Fungus.

I'm going in.

CELIA: Two minutes remaining.

Almost there.

It's all up to you, Mikey.

-Okay! Load her up, Fungus. -Yes, sir.

We're out of canisters! No more canisters!

No! It's okay.

-Smitty found one more out back. -Thanks!

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Faulty canister. Faulty canister! Run!

Where out back did you find that canister?

Out back by the dumpster.

-(BUZZER SOUNDS) -Faulty canister, sir.

Well, get another one!

There are no "another ones"!

Except for mamma's sweet baby.

-What is that? -(CHUCKLES)

-Is that a... -Tylor's idea.

Laugh power is ten times more powerful than screams.

-So you need a bigger canister. -Cutter likey.

Well, hook it up. Hook it up!

Forty-five seconds.

-You got this, Mikey. -Good luck, Googly Bear.

Fifteen seconds.

Ten seconds.

-Five sec... -Thank you, thank you. Well?

-Laugh power is saved! -(ALL CHEERING)

Nice going, Mike.

Monsters Inc. is saved.

Congratulations.

-Way to go, Mike. -You're the comedy king, Mr. Wazowski.

Say, Roz. Why don't you get Roze over here to celebrate?

It's strange, I haven't picked up her scent today.

Called in sick.

She's not sick. You're her. She's you.

-(GROANS) -You change sweaters and hair color.

Two monsters can't have the same bad breath.

-Reveal your true identity! -Ha-ha!

Up top!

-MIKE: Come on! -(BOTH CHUCKLES)

You know what? I think we made a pretty good team today.

Yeah, we did.

Oh, Ty-Ty, I am so proud of you.

That big canister saved the day.

Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)

Not bad, College Boy. Could have been worse, but it wasn't.

MIKE: You bet it wasn't.

In fact, if it wasn't for your laughs and that big canister,

we'd be out of business.

-Welcome to the Laugh Floor. -Wait, you mean...

Kid, you're officially a jokester!

We'll see you back here first thing in the morning.

Nice job, Tylor.

No, no, no, no.

This was just for today. I'm, uh,... I'm going.

We got your new desk all ready for you.

ANNOUNCER: Welcome...

-(SIGHS) -...to Monsters, Incorporated.

Remember, "It's laughter we're after."

Morning, Tylor.

-Morning. -Morning, Tylor.

-MONSTER: Welcome! -Nice to see you.

Good morning. Morning, everybody.

Hey, morning, Sulley.

Good morning, Tylor.

Great job, Mikey. You filled your quota on the first kid of the day.

Not bad, huh?

Only somebody with perfect comedic timing

could produce this much energy in one shot.

Uh-huh, and laughter being ten times more powerful

than scream had nothing to do with it.

Oh, Googly Bear! Come here, you.

Schmoopsie-poo!

MIKE: I'm on the cover of a magazine!

I don't know how I can be so sadly happy and happily sad at the same time!

I am emotionally conflicted.

Hey, guys. What are you doing here?

Oh, we just wanted to wish you good luck on your first day.

Official jokester.

-We're proud of you. -Eh, they made me come.

Well, thanks.

I'm just waiting here for my official laugh assistant.

Uh, wait.

-You're my assistant? -VAL: Yep.

Yesterday was a blast!

So, I talked to Celia and got a transfer.

Besides, we gotta bring some of that MIFTer spirit to the Laugh Floor.

So, uh, work buds.

Work buds.

Go make 'em laugh, Tylor.

FRITZ: It's over?

Sad sigh.

Anybody know if there's a season two?