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1
00:00:04,633 --> 00:00:08,433
- JEENA.
[bikini snaps]
2
00:00:08,533 --> 00:00:10,003
HANG ON A SECOND, MAN,
3
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:11,200
I'VE GOT TO LOWER THE FLAG.
4
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,700
- THINK ABOUT BASEBALL.
5
00:00:14,967 --> 00:00:16,297
- NOPE.
- DEAD PUPPIES.
6
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,230
- IT'S NOT WORKING!
7
00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:22,533
- OKAY, THIS CALLS
FOR DRASTIC MEASURES.
8
00:00:22,633 --> 00:00:25,703
[whispers indistinctly]
- WHAT? OH, OH, "D" LIST!
9
00:00:28,367 --> 00:00:30,367
- SOMEHOW IT GOT EVEN HARDER.
10
00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:32,767
- HELLO, MY SURFING MANATEE!
11
00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:34,167
- HI, MOM!
12
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,297
OKAY, THAT DID IT.
LET'S GO IN.
13
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,670
- UH, NOW I'M GOING
TO NEED A MINUTE, DUDE.
14
00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:42,667
[upbeat music]
15
00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:50,697
*
16
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,573
- READY TO RINSE, MA!
17
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,667
- SHUTTING IT DOWN, KIDDO!
18
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:11,170
- TOWEL ME!
19
00:01:11,267 --> 00:01:14,597
- INCOMING!
20
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,830
TART'S UP!
CLEARED FOR THE HAIR DRYER!
21
00:01:19,867 --> 00:01:22,497
[plop]
- SWISH. FLUSHING!
22
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,767
- OH, CRAP.
[explosion]
23
00:01:25,867 --> 00:01:27,567
- OH, GOD, NO!
24
00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:30,227
RINSING AGAIN.
25
00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:33,873
- HAVE A GREAT DAY,
MY LITTLE TICKLE MONSTER.
26
00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:35,627
OH, TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE!
- [laughs] OKAY.
27
00:01:35,733 --> 00:01:38,073
OKAY, I GOT TO GO.
28
00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:40,230
- GOOD MORNING,
MY LITTLE TICKLE MONSTER.
29
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,433
- JUST DRIVE, DUDE.
30
00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:43,073
[laughs]
31
00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:45,397
[car horn cacophony]
- [sighs]
32
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:46,600
THIS SUCKS!
33
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,330
WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON TODAY?
34
00:01:48,433 --> 00:01:49,503
- MY SISTER'S TAPING
35
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,400
HER STUPID SWEET 16
REALITY SHOW FOR MTV.
36
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:54,070
- HEY, HOW COME YOU'RE
NEVER ON HER SHOW?
37
00:01:54,133 --> 00:01:56,233
- I HAVE MY REASONS.
38
00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:01,167
- NO RUSH, KID.
39
00:02:01,267 --> 00:02:03,067
WE'RE ON OVERTIME.
40
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:06,073
[upbeat rock music plays]
41
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:07,303
*
42
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,770
- I'M MILAN.
43
00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:11,067
MY DADDY'S BILLIONAIRE
BROCK STONE.
44
00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:13,670
YOU MIGHT KNOW ME FROM
MY TWEEN IMPLANTS,
45
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,297
OR VH1's A HUNDRED REASONS
NOT TO HAVE KIDS.
46
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,270
MY HOBBIES INCLUDE
STAYING IN SHAPE...
47
00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,267
[retches]
48
00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:22,367
AND MAKING THINGS HORNY.
49
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:23,697
JOIN ME THIS WEEK,
50
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,300
AS WE LEAD UP TO THE BEST
SUPER, SWEET 16 EVER.
51
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,270
TODAY, I ASK YOU, AMERICA,
TO HELP ME PICK MY DREAM DATE
52
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:34,497
FOR THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF MY--
AND YOUR--LIVES.
53
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,700
- CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW EXCITED
PEOPLE GET FOR THIS NONSENSE?
54
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:38,870
MONDO?
55
00:02:38,967 --> 00:02:40,327
- I'M SO EXCITED!
56
00:02:40,433 --> 00:02:41,533
- [over P.A.]
LET'S GIVE A HAND
57
00:02:41,633 --> 00:02:43,073
FOR PLAYA DEL TORO'S
HOMEGROWN HOTTIE--
58
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,670
A GIRL WHO'S GOT
MORE PLASTIC IN HER,
59
00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:47,297
THAN ME ON NEW DILDO DAY,
60
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,070
MILAN STONE.
61
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,870
AND NOW, LET'S MEET
OUR CELEBRITY BEEFCAKES.
62
00:02:51,967 --> 00:02:55,327
JOHN MAYER--YOU KNOW HIM
FROM HATING HIS GUTS.
63
00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:58,633
RYAN CABRERA--
FROM...FROM--
64
00:02:58,733 --> 00:03:00,173
YEAH, YOU PROBABLY
DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS.
65
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,797
AND FINALLY,
MULTIPLE GOLD MEDALIST,
66
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:05,770
THE FLYING TOMATO HIMSELF,
CARROT TOP.
67
00:03:05,867 --> 00:03:07,067
TEXT YOUR VOTE NOW
68
00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:10,173
TO DECIDE WHICH OF THESE
TENDER MORSELS OF MAN-FLESH
69
00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:12,967
WILL BE MILAN'S
SWEET 16 DATE.
70
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,067
[chime rings]
71
00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:15,073
[keys tapping]
72
00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:16,233
[electronic trilling]
73
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:18,403
- [grunting]
74
00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:24,397
[sighs]
LONNIE?
75
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:25,970
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?
76
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:28,167
- STEALING BOLTS.
- [screams]
77
00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:30,767
- MAN, THAT KID
IS FALLING FAST!
78
00:03:30,867 --> 00:03:32,197
- [screams]
79
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,500
[cheers and applause]
80
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,370
- WHAT THE [bleep]
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING,
81
00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:36,567
YOU STUPID FAT PEASANT?
82
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:39,267
- SORRY, EVERYBODY,
SORRY.
83
00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:40,467
- YOU IDIOT!
84
00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:42,127
THE DAY I TAKE YOU
TO MY PARTY,
85
00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:44,373
IS THE DAY I GO DOWN
ON EVERY GUY IN THE SCHOOL.
86
00:03:44,467 --> 00:03:47,067
[keys tapping, chime ringing]
87
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,730
[cheering]
88
00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:50,533
- NO!
89
00:03:50,633 --> 00:03:52,073
- NO!
90
00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:54,533
- NO!
- TEETS OUT.
91
00:03:54,633 --> 00:03:56,273
- NO MOTHER-EFFING WAY.
92
00:03:56,367 --> 00:03:59,867
I AM MILAN STONE--MY FARTS
ARE OTHER GIRLS' DREAMS, OKAY?
93
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,867
I AM PERFECT,
AND I DESERVE PERFECT.
94
00:04:02,967 --> 00:04:04,267
- OH, PERFECT IS
SO LAST SEASON.
95
00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:06,297
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
JUST CHECK PEREZ HILTON.
96
00:04:08,733 --> 00:04:10,633
- YOU SUITS
ARE COMPROMISING MY VISION.
97
00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:11,973
- WELL, FINE.
IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED,
98
00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:13,267
WE'VE GOT A GIRL
IN COLORADO
99
00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:15,367
WHO'S CHOMPING AT THE BIT
TO TAKE AN ETHNIC LEPER
100
00:04:15,467 --> 00:04:16,467
TO HER QUINCEANERA.
101
00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:17,727
- THAT WHORE!
102
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:20,073
OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
103
00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:22,427
- HEY, GUYS,
IT'S THE STUPID FAT PEASANT!
104
00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,173
- OH, MY GOD.
THERE HE IS.
105
00:04:24,267 --> 00:04:27,497
- DID YOU SEE THAT, WOODIE?
I'VE GOT A GROUPIE!
106
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,300
I'VE GOT HEAT!
I'M A FLASH IN THE PAN!
107
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,070
- WHAT ABOUT JEENA?
- I THINK IT'S TIME
108
00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:34,367
YOU FINALLY FACED REALITY,
MOONBEAM.
109
00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:35,797
SHE'S WITH TURK.
110
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,070
- I'M THINKING ABOUT
111
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,630
TRADING THIS BABY IN
FOR A MOTORBOAT.
112
00:04:39,733 --> 00:04:41,473
[imitates cycle engine]
- [giggles]
113
00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:43,067
- SEE? THAT WOULD
HAVE SENT OLD MONDO
114
00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:45,333
INTO A SPIRAL OF HURT
AND MASTURBATORY ANGER.
115
00:04:45,433 --> 00:04:47,773
BUT NEW MONDO'S A REALITY STAR,
AND DOESN'T HAVE TO BOTHER
116
00:04:47,867 --> 00:04:49,197
WITH ORDINARY FEELINGS.
117
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,500
- I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
118
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,230
- I SEE WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.
119
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,803
ARE YOU WEIRDED OUT
BY ME DATING YOUR SISTER?
120
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,070
- NO, I'M COOL WITH IT.
121
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,400
JUST BE A LITTLE,
YOU KNOW, CAUTIOUS.
122
00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:01,630
- OH, CONDOMS.
WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
123
00:05:01,733 --> 00:05:03,473
- THAT'S KETCHUP.
- OH, RIGHT.
124
00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:05,427
CONDOM POCKET,
CONDIMENT POCKET--
125
00:05:05,533 --> 00:05:06,803
I ALWAYS GET THOSE MIXED UP.
126
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:09,400
THAT WOULD EXPLAIN
WHY MY HAMBURGER WAS SO RUBBERY.
127
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,630
- JUST PROMISE ME
128
00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:12,203
YOU WON'T GET TOO CARRIED AWAY
WITH EVERYTHING.
129
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:13,470
- YOU KIDDING ME, MAN?
I'M TOTALLY,
130
00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:16,127
100% COMPLETELY GROUNDED.
131
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,673
OH, MY GOD!
IS THAT MY HELICOPTER?
132
00:05:18,767 --> 00:05:21,967
- * I GOT FRIENDS, I GOT MONEY,
I GOT CARS-- *
133
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:25,227
- TIME FOR MY INVITATION,
BITCHES!
134
00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:29,633
FIRST ONE GOES
TO MY EVERYMAN UNDERDOG DATE...
135
00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:32,730
MONDO!
136
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,433
- REALLY?
- OF COURSE, SILLY.
137
00:05:35,533 --> 00:05:37,333
NOW EVERYONE CAN SEE
THAT I TOTALLY DON'T CARE
138
00:05:37,433 --> 00:05:38,733
ABOUT LOOKS OR MONEY...
139
00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:40,533
OR BODY ODOR.
140
00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:42,473
- I TAKE A PILL FOR THAT NOW.
141
00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:44,467
- UGH!
- HEY, WADSKA.
142
00:05:44,567 --> 00:05:49,267
- CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GROSS
DISPLAY OF DECADENCE?
143
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:50,727
OH! FOR ME?
144
00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:52,703
OH, WHATEVER SHALL I WEAR?
AH!
145
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,500
"YOU ARE REQUIRED BY LAW
146
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,530
TO STAY AT LEAST
50 YARDS AWAY FROM"--
147
00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:59,503
THIS IS A RESTRAINING ORDER!
148
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,070
- ISN'T SHE CREATIVE?
149
00:06:03,933 --> 00:06:05,073
- UGH!
150
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:09,770
- THIS...IS...WAR,
BITCHES!
151
00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:14,197
- OH, WOW.
152
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,670
THIS IS PERFECT.
- FOR WHAT?
153
00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:18,227
- I WANT TO GIVE IT TO MILAN
FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
154
00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:20,073
WHEN WE WERE KIDS,
WE USED TO COLLECT SHELLS.
155
00:06:20,133 --> 00:06:21,933
- REALLY?
MILAN DID THAT?
156
00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:24,127
- YEAH, SHE WAS
WAY INTO NATURE.
157
00:06:24,233 --> 00:06:25,503
WE WERE INSEPARABLE.
158
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,630
MILAN, WHAT DID YOU GET?
159
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,333
- HEY, WOODSTER,
160
00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:30,933
I FOUND A CONCH SHELL.
161
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,227
YOU WANT TO HEAR
THE MAGIC OCEAN INSIDE?
162
00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:35,633
- AW, HOW ABOUT A PICTURE?
163
00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:37,703
- THANKS, LONNIE.
164
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,700
- WOW, THAT'S
A REALLY THOUGHTFUL GIFT.
165
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,400
[cell phone chimes]
UH, I GOT TO GO MEET MILAN
166
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,530
AT YOUR REAL HOUSE, DUDE.
167
00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:46,673
HEY, WHY HAVEN'T YOU EVER
TAKEN ME UP THERE?
168
00:06:46,767 --> 00:06:48,897
- I FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE
OUT HERE.
169
00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:51,567
ALL THE MATERIAL STUFF
GIVES ME THE HEEBIE-JEEBIES.
170
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,727
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
MONDO?
171
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,573
- [shrieking with glee]
172
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:56,697
[doorbell chimes]
173
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,230
- OH, LOOK.
174
00:06:58,333 --> 00:07:00,073
IT'S THE CHUBBY
RELATABLE DATE
175
00:07:00,167 --> 00:07:03,067
THAT YOU GUYS SO AWESOMELY
PICKED FOR ME.
176
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,670
OH, COME ON IN.
I'LL SHOW YOU THE HOUSE.
177
00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:07,327
LOOK, COULD YOU JUST TRY
NOT TO EMBARRASS ME?
178
00:07:07,433 --> 00:07:10,133
- BABE, I WOULD NEVER
EMBARRASS YOU.
179
00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:11,573
IS THAT A VAGINA?
180
00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:14,767
- NO, IT'S A GEORGIA O'KEEFFE.
181
00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:16,967
- HEY, I DON'T CARE
WHOSE VAGINA IT IS--
182
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:18,927
IT'S AS PRETTY AS A ROSE.
183
00:07:19,067 --> 00:07:21,267
- IT IS A ROSE.
- EXACTLY.
184
00:07:21,367 --> 00:07:23,467
- [titters]
UH, COME ON, GUYS.
185
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:25,967
LET ME SHOW YOU
THE REST OF THE HOUSE.
186
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:28,967
[upbeat rock music]
187
00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,167
*
188
00:07:30,267 --> 00:07:33,667
THIS IS MY 4-D SCREENING ROOM.
[heroic music]
189
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:35,067
- OW!
190
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,070
- THIS IS
MY DOG FITNESS CENTER--
191
00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:39,697
COMPLETE WITH
SHIH TZU SHIATSU.
192
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,830
[sighs]
MY CHANDELIER IS FROM PARIS.
193
00:07:41,933 --> 00:07:43,333
MY RUG IS FROM THE ORIENT.
194
00:07:43,433 --> 00:07:46,173
AND MY SISTER,
WE PICKED UP FROM AFRICA.
195
00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:47,727
*
196
00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:50,373
AND HERE ARE MY AWESOME PARENTS,
BETHENNY AND BROCK.
197
00:07:50,467 --> 00:07:52,967
- WOW!
YOU HAVE A DAD TOO?
198
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:55,867
- AND OVER HERE
IS CHEF RAMSAY.
199
00:07:55,967 --> 00:07:57,067
- [bleep] OFF!
200
00:07:57,133 --> 00:07:58,833
- ISN'T HE THE BEST?
201
00:07:58,933 --> 00:08:00,903
HE MAKES ALL MY FAVORITE
AFTER-SCHOOL SNACKS
202
00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:03,067
THAT I EAT
AND THEN UNSWALLOW.
203
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:04,873
AND THAT ABOUT WRAPS IT.
204
00:08:04,967 --> 00:08:07,227
THANKS FOR COMING
BY MY HOUSE, GUYS.
205
00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:08,403
NOW GET OUT OF HERE,
206
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:11,570
'CAUSE WE'RE
TOTALLY GOING TO DO IT.
207
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:14,467
- AND CUT!
208
00:08:14,567 --> 00:08:17,267
- SO, UH, I GUESS WE'LL
TOTALLY DO IT LATER?
209
00:08:17,367 --> 00:08:18,927
- READY TO HIT THE WAVES,
MAN?
210
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:20,327
- OH, OKAY.
211
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,073
- BUT WOODFORD,
YOUR FRIEND HASN'T SEEN
212
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:23,497
THE REST OF THE HOUSE YET.
213
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,800
YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE TO SHOW OFF
MY OBSCENE WEALTH.
214
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:29,470
- I'M SURE HE'D RATHER
BE OUT ON THE SURF.
215
00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:31,727
RIGHT, MONDO?
- YEAH, I-I GUESS.
216
00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:33,373
- BUT ALL OF THE BATHROOMS
217
00:08:33,467 --> 00:08:35,367
IN THE EASTERN WING
HAVE BIDETS.
218
00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:38,067
AND ALL THE BIDETS
HAVE REMOTE CONTROLS.
219
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:41,200
- COME ON, MONDO.
THE WAVES--NATURE'S BIDET.
220
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:43,570
- I'LL GO SURFING TOMORROW.
I PROMISE.
221
00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:49,567
WOW.
222
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:51,527
- I'LL GIVE YOU
SOME TIME ALONE.
223
00:08:51,633 --> 00:08:53,703
- WHOO!
[laughs]
224
00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:59,103
HUH? OH!
225
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,770
MMM.
[blubbers]
226
00:09:01,867 --> 00:09:03,927
OOH.
- NO RUSH KID.
227
00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:05,097
WE'RE ON OVERTIME.
228
00:09:07,833 --> 00:09:09,633
- YOU GETTING THIS, BOYS?
229
00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:14,567
- OH, MONDO, HONEY,
230
00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:16,127
YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH.
231
00:09:16,233 --> 00:09:18,803
WHAT'S WITH THE HAIR?
- IT'S THE "BIEBER".
232
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,300
- OH, THANK GOD.
233
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,600
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
SOME KIND OF LESBIAN INTRUDER.
234
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:24,200
- NO, MA,
I GOT A MAKEOVER.
235
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:25,670
I'M TAKING
THE RICHEST GIRL IN TOWN
236
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,297
TO THE BIGGEST PARTY
OF THE YEAR. LOOK!
237
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,930
[static, banging]
- MONDO, SETTLE DOWN.
238
00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:32,467
I WAS A LITTLE LATE
PAYING THE BILL.
239
00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:33,967
I'M SORRY.
HERE, HAVE SOME DIN-DIN.
240
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:37,067
- GREAT,
ANOTHER SENT-BACK SPECIAL.
241
00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:38,567
- WHAT? IT'S BARELY
BEEN TOUCHED.
242
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:40,867
AND THE CUSTOMER
HAD A VERY CLEAN MOUTH.
243
00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:44,203
- WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DOOR?
244
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,230
- OH, IT FELL OFF THE HINGES,
245
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:47,603
SO I HUNG UP A BEADED CURTAIN.
246
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:48,870
PRETTY GROOVY, HUH?
247
00:09:48,967 --> 00:09:50,067
I'LL GET IT FIXED
AFTER PAYDAY.
248
00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:51,667
- AND WHEN IS THAT EXACTLY?
249
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:53,767
- EXCUSE ME?
COME ON, KIDDO.
250
00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:56,067
YOU KNOW I BUST MY TAIL
TO GET US EVERYTHING WE NEED.
251
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:57,897
- GIVE ME A BREAK, MA.
OUR HOUSE IS FALLING APART,
252
00:09:58,067 --> 00:10:01,867
AND ALL WE EAT ARE LEFTOVERS
THAT OTHER PEOPLE LEFT OVER.
253
00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:04,797
I NEVER REALIZED
HOW MUCH IT SUCKS BEING POOR.
254
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,900
- POOR?
YOU DON'T KNOW POOR.
255
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,100
YOU'VE GOT A ROOF
OVER YOUR HEAD,
256
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,600
A BLOCK FROM THE BEACH.
257
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,000
YOU'VE GOT A VIDEO GAME FOR
YOUR "PLAY-BOX" AND "WEE-WEE."
258
00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,570
AND YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY
WASTING AWAY OVER THERE.
259
00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:15,897
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?
260
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,070
- EXPENSIVE WATER
SHOT FROM AN EXPENSIVE TOILET!
261
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:22,497
THAT'S WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO ME!
[beads jingle]
262
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,230
THESE THINGS ARE REALLY HARD
TO SLAM!
263
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,700
[tires squeal]
264
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,670
- TOO LATE,
YOU JUST MISSED HIS LIMO.
265
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,827
- [sighs]
WOODIE, YOU LIKE LEFTOVERS?
266
00:10:36,933 --> 00:10:38,233
- THANKS, BABS.
267
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:39,873
- SOMETHING WRONG, HONEY?
268
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:41,497
- I THINK MONDO'S
GETTING CAUGHT UP
269
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,030
IN THIS MONEY STUFF.
270
00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:44,603
I'M NOT SURE
WHETHER TO WARN HIM
271
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:46,430
OR JUST LET HIM
FIGURE IT OUT HIMSELF.
272
00:10:46,533 --> 00:10:48,733
- AS HIS MOM,
I GO THROUGH THAT EVERY DAY.
273
00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:50,873
YOU KNOW,
YOU'D MAKE A GREAT DAD, WOODIE.
274
00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:53,227
- [internal] IS SHE TRYING
TO TELL ME SOMETHING?
275
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:56,033
SHE THINKS I'D MAKE
A GREAT DAD TO MONDO,
276
00:10:56,133 --> 00:11:01,073
ERGO SHE THINKS I WOULD BE
A GREAT HUSBAND TO HER?
277
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:02,730
I THINK SHE JUST PROPOSED.
278
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:05,733
I DO. BABS?
279
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,900
[hip-hop music plays]
- WOW, MONDO.
280
00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:13,127
YOU LOOK LIKE A JEWEL THIEF.
- ISN'T IT GREAT?
281
00:11:13,233 --> 00:11:14,403
YOU'RE GOING
TO MY PARTY, RIGHT?
282
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,230
- OH, MILAN'S? YEAH.
I WOULDN'T MISS IT.
283
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:19,103
HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOU TWO?
284
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,500
- OH, GREAT.
WE HAVE A CLASSIC BANTER,
285
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:21,800
LIKE PATTINSON AND STEWART.
286
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:23,770
THERE'S MY BETTER HALF.
287
00:11:23,867 --> 00:11:26,097
- YEAH, THE DAY I'M HALF OF YOU,
I'LL KILL MYSELF.
288
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,200
- [hysterical laugh]
ZING, DARLING. ZING!
289
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,570
UNDENIABLE CHEMISTRY.
290
00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:33,697
- MONDO, PLEASE DON'T
TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY,
291
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,130
BUT I THINK
YOU DESERVE BETTER.
292
00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:39,073
- YOU GOT TO CUT BACK
ON THE FRO-YO, BABE.
293
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,870
YOU'RE GOING TO BLOW MY SHOCKS.
[laughs]
294
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:45,367
- MAYBE YOU
DESERVE BETTER TOO.
295
00:11:45,467 --> 00:11:47,497
- PSST! PSST!
296
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,370
THE SALAMANDER IS LATE
TO HIS OWN EXECUTION.
297
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:51,497
- HUH?
298
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,830
- THE CORNISH HEN
IS EXPECTING GUESTS.
299
00:11:53,933 --> 00:11:55,073
- WHAT?
300
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:58,100
- UGH! HOW MUCH CLEARER
DO I HAVE TO MAKE THIS?
301
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,470
TOGETHER WE WILL SABOTAGE
MILAN'S PARTY,
302
00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:04,367
AND TOPPLE
HER FASHIONISTA REGIME!
303
00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:06,367
[maniacal laughter]
304
00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:09,367
OH, IT FEELS SO GOOD
HAVING A MAN ON THE INSIDE.
305
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:12,227
- WADSKA, I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
306
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:15,173
- OH, I SEE.
YOU CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.
307
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:17,697
[gasps]
THEY'RE LISTENING, AREN'T THEY?
308
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,270
HIT ME!
MAKE IT LOOK REAL.
309
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,597
NO TIME!
310
00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:25,467
- DUDE, THERE YOU ARE.
311
00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:27,197
IT'S MY BIG NIGHT.
312
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,770
HOW DO I LOOK?
- LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.
313
00:12:29,867 --> 00:12:31,197
- ARE YOU MAD AT ME?
314
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,770
- WE HAVEN'T HUNG OUT
ALL WEEK.
315
00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:34,797
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN
ACTING A LITTLE STRANGE?
316
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,600
- I'VE BEEN ACTING STRANGE?
OH!
317
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:38,730
YOU'VE GOT
THIS AMAZING FAMILY,
318
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:41,073
ALL THE STUFF
YOU COULD EVER WANT,
319
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:43,173
AND YOU'RE LIVING OUT HERE
IN A DOGHOUSE.
320
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,530
- COME ON, I WANT
TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
321
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:49,073
- WHOA, THIS IS YOUR ROOM?
322
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,400
- NO, THIS IS A SHRINE
323
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,600
TO A KID THAT MY PARENTS
WANTED ME TO BE.
324
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,600
- IT SAYS HERE,
YOU TOOK HOME THE BRONZE METAL
325
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,600
FOR BOBSLEDDING
IN 2006.
326
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:57,930
- THOSE ARE FROM EBAY.
327
00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:59,227
- HMM. I WONDER
HOW MUCH THEY PAID
328
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,633
FOR THIS LAME POKEMON TOURNAMENT
PARTICIPANT RIBBON.
329
00:13:01,733 --> 00:13:03,933
- NO, THAT'S MINE.
330
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:06,497
COME LOOK AT THIS PHOTO.
THIS WAS THE ONLY TIME
331
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,430
ALL OF US WERE TOGETHER
ON THE WHOLE TRIP.
332
00:13:08,533 --> 00:13:12,133
MY DAD PAID TARA REID $50,000
TO TAKE THIS PICTURE.
333
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:13,603
AT LEAST I THINK
THAT'S WHAT HE PAID HER FOR.
334
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:15,800
- AWESOME.
- YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.
335
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:19,070
HERE. THIS ONE'S FROM BEFORE
MY DAD MADE HIS MILLIONS.
336
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:21,400
MONEY CHANGED MY FAMILY.
337
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,430
AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT
CHANGE YOU TOO.
338
00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:24,703
- I HAVEN'T CHANGED.
339
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,570
I JUST HAVE A NEW HAIRCUT...
AND A HAT.
340
00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:29,967
A NEW HAIRCUT AND A HAT--
THAT'S IT.
341
00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:31,627
AND A BLAZER.
THE HAIRCUT,
342
00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:33,173
THE HAT AND THE BLAZER.
AND THAT'S IT.
343
00:13:33,267 --> 00:13:35,067
[cell phone rings]
AND A PUBLICIST.
344
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:36,873
THE HAIRCUT, THE HAT,
THE BLAZER AND THE PUBLICIST.
345
00:13:36,967 --> 00:13:38,127
THAT'S IT.
346
00:13:38,233 --> 00:13:40,603
I'LL TOTES BE DOWNSIES
IN 5-0. THANKS, DARLING.
347
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:41,930
AND A NEW WAY OF TALKING.
348
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:43,097
OKAY, SO THERE'S THE HAIRCUT,
349
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,230
THE HAT, THE BLAZER,
350
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:45,503
THE PUBLICIST,
AND A NEW WAY OF TALKING.
351
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,700
THAT'S IT, WOODIE.
- DON'T YOU THINK MILAN
352
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:51,300
MIGHT JUST BE...
USING YOU FOR THE SHOW?
353
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,330
- WHOA. WHAT?
USING ME?
354
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,103
- MILAN DOESN'T EVEN
KNOW YOUR NAME.
355
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,900
I HEARD HER CALL YOU MEGATRON.
356
00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:58,067
- YEAH? SO?
357
00:13:58,133 --> 00:13:59,533
THAT'S HER PET NAME FOR ME.
358
00:13:59,633 --> 00:14:02,803
- GET YOUR FAT ASS DOWN HERE...
WHAT'S-YOUR-NAME!
359
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:04,370
- AND THERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
360
00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:06,967
SHE GIVES ME A LOT
OF PET NAMES.
361
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,597
[cheering]
362
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:15,970
- * EVERYBODY JUST HAVE
A GOOD TIME *
363
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:18,927
[techno music plays]
364
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:26,967
*
365
00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:32,833
[cheering]
- [grunts]
366
00:14:32,933 --> 00:14:34,603
FALCON, COME IN, FALCON.
367
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,570
PERIMETER IS BREACHED.
368
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,967
EAGLE OUT!
ROGER THAT, EAGLE.
369
00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:40,397
FALCON OUT.
370
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,500
- MILAN, LOOK OVER HERE!
- NO, OVER HERE!
371
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,270
- HEY TURK, DO YOU WANT
TO TAKE A PICTURE TOGETHER?
372
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:46,967
- BETTER YET,
LET'S SHOOT A VIDEO--
373
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:48,527
"ONE NIGHT IN VA-JEENA."
374
00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:49,733
[groans]
375
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,603
- CUT!
376
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,730
- OH, HEY, GISELE!
377
00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:57,403
GIRL, YOU HAVE GOT TO TELL ME
378
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,230
WHAT TOM BRADY'S
PENIS LOOKS LIKE.
379
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,173
[growls]
380
00:15:02,267 --> 00:15:04,227
- HEY, WOODIE!
381
00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:05,603
ISN'T THAT YOUR SISTER'S PARTY?
382
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,230
- YEAH, NOT MY SCENE.
383
00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:09,273
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WORKED ON SATURDAYS?
384
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,127
- YEAH, I PICKED UP
SOME EXTRA SHIFTS.
385
00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:13,573
PRINCE MONDO WANTS A DOOR.
386
00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:14,867
TIMES ARE TOUGH, YOU KNOW?
387
00:15:14,967 --> 00:15:16,897
WE DON'T--
WE DON'T HAVE MUCH.
388
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:19,097
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU AND MONDO HAVE IT GREAT.
389
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,970
YOU GUYS CAN TALK
ABOUT ANYTHING,
390
00:15:21,067 --> 00:15:23,567
AND YOU JUST LET HIM BE
WHO HE IS.
391
00:15:23,667 --> 00:15:25,267
HE'S LUCKY TO HAVE
A MOM LIKE YOU.
392
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,267
- OH, WOODIE,
YOU'RE A SWEETHEART.
393
00:15:27,367 --> 00:15:29,397
HEY, YOU KNOW, MONDO AND I
USUALLY HAVE MOVIE NIGHT
394
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:32,130
ON SATURDAYS,
AND I JUST PAID MY CABLE BILL.
395
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:34,173
YOU WANT TO COME OVER
AND SEE WHAT'S ON THE BOOB TUBE?
396
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,197
- [internal]
"BOOB TUBE"?
397
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,770
SHE COULD HAVE JUST SAID "TV."
398
00:15:37,867 --> 00:15:39,567
IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!
399
00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:48,173
- OH, HEY, WADSKA.
400
00:15:48,267 --> 00:15:49,767
- AH!
- HAVE YOU SEEN WOODIE?
401
00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:52,067
- NO REAL NAMES!
402
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:54,370
I WILL MEET YOU
AT THE RENDEZVOUS POINT
403
00:15:54,467 --> 00:15:56,167
IN TEN STROKES.
404
00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:03,197
- UH, WOODIE?
BALLS!
405
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:05,270
SORRY!
I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR WOODIE.
406
00:16:05,367 --> 00:16:06,797
- NO PROBLEM, MONDO.
I WAS JUST HELPING PILAR
407
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,100
FIND HER CONTACT LENS.
408
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,600
- IT WAS IN MY P--
409
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,630
[fabric rips]
410
00:16:11,733 --> 00:16:13,303
- OH, HI, MRS. STONE.
411
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,500
HAVE YOU SEEN WOODIE?
412
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,170
- WELL, I CAN'T SAY
THAT I HAVE.
413
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:19,497
SAY, COULD YOU BE A DEAR
AND HAND ME THAT CUP OVER THERE?
414
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:20,870
- SURE. DOING SOME BAKING?
415
00:16:20,967 --> 00:16:22,067
- NOPE.
416
00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:24,703
[violent sniff]
417
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,230
- YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT'S ON?
I'M GOING TO GO
418
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:28,903
SLIP INTO SOMETHING
MORE COMFORTABLE.
419
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:30,627
- [internal] OH, MAN.
IN THE MOVIES,
420
00:16:30,733 --> 00:16:32,303
THAT ALWAYS MEANS
SEX CLOTHING.
421
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,870
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE,
WOOD MAN.
422
00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:35,767
YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT
WITH BABS--
423
00:16:35,867 --> 00:16:38,167
YOUR BEST FRIEND'S MOM.
424
00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:41,297
OH MAN, WHY DOES BABS
HAVE TO BE MONDO'S MOM?
425
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,630
- ANYTHING GOOD ON?
- I DON'T THINK
426
00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:43,703
I CAN GO THROUGH WITH THIS!
427
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,230
I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG,
428
00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:47,203
I-I THINK ABOUT YOU
INTENSELY TWICE,
429
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:48,800
MAYBE THREE TIMES
A DAY.
430
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,300
I MEAN, SOMETIMES
YOU'RE JUMBLED UP
431
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,270
WITH MEGAN FOX
OR KATY PERRY,
432
00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:54,197
BUT YOU ARE DEFINITELY
ALWAYS IN THE MIX.
433
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:56,670
- WOODIE, I THINK YOU HAVE
THE WRONG IDEA.
434
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,797
- AND I DON'T THINK
IT'D BE VERY COOL TO HIM
435
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:01,170
IF WE, YOU KNOW--
- ALL RIGHT, WOODIE.
436
00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:03,097
I'LL TRY TO RESTRAIN MYSELF.
437
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,130
YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND TO MONDO.
438
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,503
NOW LET'S CHANNEL SOME
OF THAT EXTRA ENERGY
439
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,300
INTO MAKING SOME POPCORN.
440
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,600
- WHEW!
441
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:15,467
- THIS ONE'S FROM
MY AFRICAN SISTER BOOMIE.
442
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:17,867
"A GENEROUS DONATION
HAS BEEN MADE ON YOUR BEHALF
443
00:17:17,967 --> 00:17:20,667
TO THE SAVE DARFUR
FOUNDATION."
444
00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:22,827
AH, BITCH!
THIS IS MY PARTY!
445
00:17:22,933 --> 00:17:24,433
WHY ARE OTHER PEOPLE
GETTING PRESENTS?
446
00:17:24,533 --> 00:17:26,573
- NEXT ONE'S FROM US,
MONEYFACE.
447
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:29,967
[car horn toots]
- OH, MY [bleep]ING GOD!
448
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:31,827
- OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
449
00:17:31,933 --> 00:17:34,973
- IT'S NAVY BLUE,
NOT MIDNIGHT BLUE!
450
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:38,267
GOD, DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN?
451
00:17:38,367 --> 00:17:41,297
- UH, HERE MILAN.
OPEN THIS ONE.
452
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,470
IT'S FROM WOODIE.
453
00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:46,297
- EW, WHAT, DID HE FIND THIS
ON THE GROUND?
454
00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:51,503
- WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
455
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,200
WOODIE PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT
INTO THAT.
456
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:56,100
YOU PEOPLE ARE SO FIXATED
ON MONEY
457
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,200
THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN
WOODIE EVEN EXISTS.
458
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:00,570
- THAT'S NOT TRUE!
459
00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:01,697
TELL HIM, WOODIE.
460
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,530
- SPEAK UP, SON.
461
00:18:03,633 --> 00:18:04,833
- THAT'S A MOP!
462
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:06,603
- STAND UP STRAIGHT, DEAR.
463
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:07,900
- OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.
464
00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:09,327
YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME.
465
00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:11,133
- ME EMBARRASS YOU?
466
00:18:11,233 --> 00:18:12,973
[microphone feedback]
467
00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:14,497
I'VE GOT THE COOLEST FRIEND
IN THE WORLD,
468
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,400
AND HE'S YOUR BROTHER
AND YOUR SON,
469
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,170
AND NONE OF US
EVEN APPRECIATE HIM.
470
00:18:18,267 --> 00:18:20,097
SURE ALL THIS WEALTH
CAN BE SEDUCTIVE.
471
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,430
I GOT SEDUCED TOO.
472
00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:24,633
DID I LIKE GETTING ATTENTION
FROM A GIRL? YES.
473
00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,433
AND DID I LIKE BEING SHOWERED
WITH GIFTS
474
00:18:26,533 --> 00:18:28,873
A POOR KID COULD NEVER AFFORD?
YES.
475
00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,667
AND DID I LIKE THAT ONE DAY
WHEN MILAN WORE THE TUBE DRESS
476
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,567
AND HAD THAT NIP SLIP?
A THOUSAND TIMES, YES.
477
00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:37,167
BUT I THINK WE ALL NEED TO FOCUS
ON WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.
478
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:39,667
[walkie-talkies beep]
UH...
479
00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:41,067
SO IN SHORT,
YOU'RE A TOTAL BITCH
480
00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:42,573
AND I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU
ON NATIONAL TELEVISION,
481
00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:43,797
BUT I HOPE YOU LEARN
FROM YOUR MISTAKES
482
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:45,070
AND BECOME A BETTER PERSON.
483
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:47,103
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
484
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,830
AND HONEY, THE NAME IS MONDO.
[cheering]
485
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,070
- MONDO, THAT WAS BADASS.
486
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,500
COME ON.
I KNOW A WAY OUT.
487
00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:02,803
[tires screech]
- HOP IN.
488
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:05,730
- YOU GUYS
BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.
489
00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:08,833
- TEN, NINE,
490
00:19:08,933 --> 00:19:10,903
EIGHT...
- JEENA, YOU KNOW
491
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,067
HOW WE WERE TALKING BEFORE
492
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,797
ABOUT HOW I DESERVED
SOMEBODY BETTER,
493
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,600
AND YOU DESERVED
SOMEBODY BETTER?
494
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:17,800
- UH-HUH.
495
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:19,270
- WELL, NOW THAT I'M
SINGLE AGAIN,
496
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,667
MAYBE IT'S TIME
FOR YOU AND I--
497
00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:25,967
- ONE.
SUPER SWEET SABOTAGE!
498
00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,067
- WE'LL JUST TALK
ON MONDAY!
499
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:32,070
[explosions]
- [screams]
500
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,297
[horse neighs]
501
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,470
[horse whinnies]
- PISS OFF, HORSE!
502
00:19:43,633 --> 00:19:46,103
[all gasp]
503
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:50,370
[laughter]
504
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,297
- NO RUSH, KID.
WE'RE ON OVERTIME.
505
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,600
[smash, fizzle]
506
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:59,370
- PRECIOUS, YOU A DUMMY!
507
00:19:59,467 --> 00:20:01,767
DON'T NOBODY WANT YOU,
DON'T NOBODY NEED YOU.
508
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,797
- MAN, MARTIN LAWRENCE
IS NOT FUNNY IN THIS.
509
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:06,700
[tires squeal]
- MONDO!
510
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,200
- OH, MOM! I AM SO HAPPY
TO SEE YOU.
511
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:11,970
I'M SO SORRY
I WAS SUCH A DOUCHE.
512
00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:13,827
OH, YOU'RE THE BEST MOM
IN THE WORLD.
513
00:20:13,933 --> 00:20:15,933
AND WOODIE, MAN, YOU WERE RIGHT
ABOUT YOUR SISTER,
514
00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:17,333
AND ABOUT ME FORGETTING
WHO I AM,
515
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,073
AND ABOUT EVERYTHING.
516
00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:21,027
SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
517
00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:22,333
CAN YOU GUYS FORGIVE ME?
518
00:20:22,433 --> 00:20:25,273
- OF COURSE, BRO.
- I DON'T KNOW.
519
00:20:25,367 --> 00:20:28,727
I SHOULD PROBABLY ASK...
THE TICKLE MONSTER!
520
00:20:28,833 --> 00:20:30,403
TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE!
521
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:31,600
[wet squish]
- OOPS!
522
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,530
- UH-OH.
- POPPED A MAYO PACKET.
523
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,503
- WOODIE, YOU HAVE
A CONDIMENT POCKET TOO?
524
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,730
- BOARD SHORTS, NO POCKETS.
GOT TO GO!
525
00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:42,967
[groovy music]
526
00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:44,567
*
527
00:20:44,617 --> 00:20:49,167
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