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>> Settle down, gonads.
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Oh, sweet Jonas,
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it's cold out here.
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(popping)
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I hope that's a third nipple.
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It's time for our annual
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polar bear plunge,
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where brave souls run headlong
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into the icy surf.
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Stupid people, take your places.
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>> Bro, how are you
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not freezing?
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It's like 60 degrees!
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>> Back in Jersey, this is
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primo belly shirt weather.
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>> Can you believe this freakin'
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heat wave we're having?
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>> It's a freakin' scorcher.
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"Deck my balls."
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Oh, that's a good shirt.
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>> Yeah, or maybe he's warm
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because he has the thick,
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insulating blubber layer
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of the arctic walrus.
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Thanks for tutoring me
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in marine science, babe.
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Couldn't have made
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that fat joke without you.
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>> At least he has
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the balls to participate.
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>> Come on, Mondo,
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this is gonna be fun.
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>> Sometimes I fear I'll end up
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sad and alone, like the
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Ecuadorian hermit crab.
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Damn, that girl can tutor.
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(gunshot)
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(all screaming)
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>> Ah!
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Cold, cold, cold!
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>> I got hy-- I got hypo--
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Hypotherm-- I'm very cold!
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This is all you, bro.
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>> That's my boy!
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>> You're awesome, Mondo!
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>> I can't feel my legs!
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(all gasping)
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Is that my bathing suit?
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(all laughing)
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And my pride?
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**
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>> Congratulations, ladies.
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I know it was a tough night.
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But based on personal
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experience, pool parties,
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unconfirmed sextings, and
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vicious rumors, we have finally
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compiled our most comprehensive
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ranking of penis size
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at Playa Del Toro High ever.
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Bitches, I give you the D-list.
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>> Stop the presses!
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Big news from the
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polar bear plunge.
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There's something
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you need to see.
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>> I really think you're making
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way too much out of this, Mondo.
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>> Mondo? I know not of this
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"Mondo" that you speak of.
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I am sheriff Mustachio Van Dyke,
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transfer student from...
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Cowboy City, USA.
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>> No sane person's
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gonna buy it, bro.
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>> Morning, Woodie.
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Sheriff Van Dyke.
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(sighing)
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>> Aah!
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Mondo, you have got to quit
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sneaking up on people like that.
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By the by, I was at the arcade,
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and it seems a certain dynamic
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duo now has the top score
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on MMA Blood Blast!
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>> Tokens accepted!
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Blood brothers!
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Join the fight!
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(mimicking martial arts)
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>> Bam!
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What are all these flyers?
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>> Oh, these are--
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>> Nothing.
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Nothing that pertains to you.
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>> The "D-list"?
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What's this about?
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Every guy in school is on here.
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Turk's first, and I'm...
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at the bottom.
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>> It's the--
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>> Dude list!
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And you're the newest dude
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in town, so you're last.
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And let's not talk
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about it anymore.
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>> Oh, hey, Mon-dork.
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Congratulations on your
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last place showing.
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>> Thanks, Milan.
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It's just a pleasure
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to be included.
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And I hear we're getting some
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Chinese transfer students soon.
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Ought to bump me up
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a few places, right?
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>> I guess... gross.
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>> Oh, hello there,
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Mondo Brando.
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Allow us to formally
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welcome you to hell.
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>> What?
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>> We're your neighbors
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at the bottom of the D-list.
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>> I'm also the valedictorian,
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and he's a National Merit
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scholar.
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But no one seems
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to care about that.
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>> Gentlemen, adieu.
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>> Oh, that little one
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gives me the creeps.
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>> I'd like to thank
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my balls for support,
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my best girl Jeena for being
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with me through the ups
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and downs.
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Boobs for all the hard times.
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You know whose you are.
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And especially
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the little people.
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(all laughing)
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>> The D-list isn't
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the dude list, is it?
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Uh, you better shake a leg, Ma,
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the movers will be here
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in the morning.
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>> We're not going back
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to Jersey.
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Look, honey, kids are always
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gonna be little pricks.
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I-I-I mean, cruel.
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This sucks, munchkin,
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I'm not gonna lie to you.
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But you can't just run away.
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You gotta find a way to
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stand up for yourself.
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Remember the family motto.
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>> "You mess with a Brando,
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you get the back of the hando."
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>> You know,
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in my mud wrestling days,
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I had that on the back
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of a cape.
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>> Look at you.
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Comfortably average, cute
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enough, extremely sensitive.
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You're like the Michael Cera
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of penises.
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>> I call mine "Will Smith"
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because he's got urban cred,
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but white women find him
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non-threatening.
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(laughing)
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>> Oh, this is bad, dude.
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I was up all night,
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imagining ways to flash
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my room temperature
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schlong to the whole school.
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>> Be careful, Lonnie did that
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once by accident, and now he
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can't park within 300 yards
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of the playground.
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>> Yeah, besides, I gotta find
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a way to take down that list,
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not just for me,
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but for all the other guys
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stuck at the bottom.
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>> That's very noble
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of you, bro.
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>> I know, right?
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>> Guys, a little help?
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Guys?
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>> Give 'em hell, bro.
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(phone ringing)
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(slurping)
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>> Mmm...
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>> We're, like, having
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a D-list top ten party later.
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Bonfire on the beach.
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>> So why are you telling me?
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>> You don't know?
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>> We totally hope you
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can make it, number five.
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(chuckling)
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>> * Is that my bathing suit *
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* My pride my bathing suit *
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* My pride *
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* I can't feel my legs **
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(laughing)
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>> There he is!
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I was just making you
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my ringtone!
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How funny is that?
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>> Hey, Principal Gurniel,
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um, I was hoping we could talk
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about something, discreetly,
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just between you and me.
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>> Sure, sure.
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Slip off your shoes,
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and pull up a pillow.
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I'll light
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a conversation candle.
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>> All right, I was hoping to
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get the D-list banned
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from school.
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See, it's harassment,
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it's bullying, and it's ruining
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people's lives.
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>> Those are some serious
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gripes, amigo.
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But before I hit shuffle
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on my policy-pod,
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I better hear the B-side
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of this argument.
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(feedback)
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>> Milan Stone, please report
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to the principal's office.
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>> No! I said "discreetly!"
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>> Chill out, compadre.
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You've gotta mellow
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those dramatics.
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Now, I'm just gonna go ahead
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and light a conflict
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resolution candle.
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>> If this is about us creating
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a fake profile with Zac Efron's
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picture and setting up a date
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at the diner with that fat girl,
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and then there was nobody there
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but us, laughing at her stupid,
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fat face...
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It wasn't me.
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>> No, no, that's not it.
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It seems Mondo here has
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a little problem with your list.
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>> He can't tell me
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what to do.
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>> Milan makes
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an excellent point.
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>> Huh?
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>> I believe Milan is exercising
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her First Amendment right
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to freedom of speech.
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>> I don't need to exercise.
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He does.
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>> Are you kidding me?
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I doubt the founding fathers
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had a penis chart in mind when
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they wrote the Bill of Rights.
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>> Ratifying this document
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will protect the liberties
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of all of our citizens.
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Now everyone whip out their
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Hancocks to see who signs first.
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(zipping)
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>> Uh, you can't
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get rid of the D-list!
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It's like... an institution!
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>> Slavery was an institution!
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>> Ooh, he said slavery.
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That's racist.
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Suspend him.
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>> Whoa, whoa! Oh!
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I can see we've got
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a hot button issue here.
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And I have the perfect way
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to put an end to it.
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>> Thank god.
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>> Attention, students.
290
00:07:09,233 --> 00:07:10,803
This Friday's assembly will be
291
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,270
a debate about the D-list.
292
00:07:12,267 --> 00:07:13,227
Arguing on the side
293
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,133
of free speech, Milan Stone.
294
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,073
Arguing on the side
295
00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:18,197
of tiny penises, Mondo Brando.
296
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,900
(students laughing)
297
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:21,730
>> * My pride my bathing suit *
298
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,433
>> Hey, it worked!
299
00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:25,703
>> * I can't feel my legs **
300
00:07:27,467 --> 00:07:29,967
**
301
00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:32,427
(barbershop singing)
302
00:07:34,267 --> 00:07:35,527
>> Nice pipes, boys.
303
00:07:35,533 --> 00:07:37,233
And to think, before the D-list,
304
00:07:37,233 --> 00:07:38,533
we couldn't fill a seat.
305
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,073
Now put on your Viking helmets
306
00:07:40,067 --> 00:07:42,927
for the opera finale.
307
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:46,303
>> You okay, man?
308
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:47,600
>> Hmm, well, let's see.
309
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,170
Public nudity, public speaking,
310
00:07:49,167 --> 00:07:50,067
Throw in spiders and
311
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,267
a Sarah Palin presidency,
312
00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:52,127
and all my nightmares
313
00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:53,073
have come true.
314
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:53,897
>> Very cool.
315
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:54,770
Very political.
316
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:55,727
>> I know, right?
317
00:07:55,733 --> 00:07:56,673
There's no way in hell
318
00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:58,297
I'm doing this stupid debate.
319
00:07:58,300 --> 00:07:59,130
>> 'Sup, Woodie?
320
00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:01,133
'Sup, master debater?
321
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:02,203
(chuckling)
322
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,070
I think it's awesome
323
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,297
that you're debating Milan.
324
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,300
Maybe we'll take down this
325
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,800
stupid list once and for all.
326
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:08,530
>> So how are you gonna
327
00:08:08,533 --> 00:08:09,403
get out of the debate?
328
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:10,330
>> Get out of the debate?
329
00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:11,703
The hell's wrong with you?
330
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:12,600
You heard the lady,
331
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,400
I'm in it to win it!
332
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,330
Besides, it'll be good
333
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:16,473
to finally put an end to this
334
00:08:16,467 --> 00:08:18,667
kind of sexual objectification.
335
00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:19,627
>> Hi, Woodie.
336
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,773
>> Whoa! She's, like,
337
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:23,367
a 9.2 on the dichter scale!
338
00:08:23,367 --> 00:08:25,267
That's, like, the fifth hot girl
339
00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:26,097
that's creeping on you.
340
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,070
What's that about?
341
00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:27,927
>> I don't know, man.
342
00:08:27,933 --> 00:08:30,373
Maybe it's my new... shampoo.
343
00:08:30,367 --> 00:08:31,467
>> Hi, Woodie.
344
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:32,597
>> Hi, Woodie.
345
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,070
>> I said hi first!
346
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,797
(screaming)
347
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:36,770
>> Man, I gotta get me
348
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,327
some of that shampoo!
349
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,503
>> Ah, there's my stooges.
350
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,700
You guys missed another great
351
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:42,900
performance of the glory
352
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,200
hole "te-atre."
353
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,200
I hear next season,
354
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,800
they're doing "Spermalot!"
355
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,770
So if you don't have
356
00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:48,627
any plans tonight,
357
00:08:48,633 --> 00:08:49,533
I thought us boys could bone up,
358
00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:50,473
plug away, grind it out,
359
00:08:50,467 --> 00:08:51,667
cram it good, put our heads down
360
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:52,927
and bury our noses in it.
361
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:53,803
>> What?
362
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:54,570
>> Get your mind
363
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:55,427
out of the gutter.
364
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:56,803
I am talking about doing
365
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,870
debate research at the library!
366
00:08:58,867 --> 00:08:59,827
I always wanted to do it
367
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:00,973
in a public place.
368
00:09:00,967 --> 00:09:01,927
>> That would be awesome.
369
00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:02,773
I can use all the help
370
00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:05,227
I can get.
371
00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:06,073
>> Uh, yeah, guys,
372
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:06,867
you know what?
373
00:09:06,867 --> 00:09:07,827
I'm gonna meet you there.
374
00:09:07,833 --> 00:09:09,103
I just have an errand
375
00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:11,800
I gotta run.
376
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,070
>> This is so empty.
377
00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:13,827
How can they afford
378
00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:14,803
to stay open?
379
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:15,630
>> The same way they keep
380
00:09:15,633 --> 00:09:17,333
city parks and hospitals open.
381
00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:18,273
They rent out space
382
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,467
to the adult film industry.
383
00:09:19,467 --> 00:09:21,497
>> I'd like to return this book,
384
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:23,300
but it's too big
385
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:24,800
to fit in the slot.
386
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:25,670
>> Maybe you should push
387
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:26,797
a little harder.
388
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,770
>> That dialogue is terrible.
389
00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:29,527
>> No, that's
390
00:09:29,533 --> 00:09:30,533
the actual checkout desk.
391
00:09:30,533 --> 00:09:31,673
Porno is over there.
392
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:32,567
>> "Do Me Decimal System,"
393
00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:34,497
take two.
394
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,070
>> Oh, hello, fellow readers.
395
00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:38,967
Welcome to the library.
396
00:09:38,967 --> 00:09:40,327
The only safe haven from those
397
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:41,973
jerks at the top of the list.
398
00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:43,227
>> Until now!
399
00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:45,073
Some cyber-bully just hacked my
400
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,427
Facebook and tagged me with
401
00:09:46,433 --> 00:09:47,833
hundreds of penis photos.
402
00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:49,133
>> That's not right.
403
00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:49,933
They're even calling you
404
00:09:49,933 --> 00:09:50,933
"Dick Noodle."
405
00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:52,133
>> Nope, that's my name.
406
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,833
It's pronounced "Nu-dell."
407
00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:55,533
>> All right,
408
00:09:55,533 --> 00:09:56,433
let's get started.
409
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,403
I just gotta fire up my iPad.
410
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,330
>> Why did we come here
411
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,433
if we're using that?
412
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,403
>> Untraceable Wi-Fi!
413
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,670
And the softest toilet paper
414
00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:04,627
in town!
415
00:10:04,633 --> 00:10:05,833
>> I need some reading material.
416
00:10:05,833 --> 00:10:08,003
Oh, Maya Angelou!
417
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,030
That's my jam.
418
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:11,673
>> Whoa! Where are you going,
419
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:12,567
beanpole?
420
00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:14,027
>> I'm number five.
421
00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:16,373
>> Why didn't you say so?
422
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:17,427
Right this way.
423
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:18,773
>> * She dance, she dance *
424
00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:20,427
* The way she dance... **
425
00:10:20,433 --> 00:10:22,373
>> Woodie!
426
00:10:22,367 --> 00:10:23,767
>> What's up, Wood-man?
427
00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:25,197
How about a drink?
428
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,030
>> I don't know.
429
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:27,073
I'm not planning on staying
430
00:10:27,067 --> 00:10:27,997
that long.
431
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,430
>> Yeah, cool, totally.
432
00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:30,403
Hey, you mind holding this
433
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,470
a second in your mouth?
434
00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:32,897
(gulping)
435
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:35,030
(cheering)
436
00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:38,297
>> I'm afraid our argument
437
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,570
to control free speech
438
00:10:39,567 --> 00:10:41,097
is not looking good.
439
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,070
Apparently, laws have protected
440
00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:44,927
these scandalous gossip rags
441
00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:46,173
throughout history.
442
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,027
>> I know! They even
443
00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,473
had sexting back then.
444
00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:49,727
Check out this dirty telegraph
445
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:50,733
From President Taft
446
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,073
to his mistress.
447
00:10:52,067 --> 00:10:53,267
"You're turning me on.
448
00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:54,397
Stop.
449
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,770
Why did you stop?
450
00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:56,597
Stop.
451
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:57,800
Undo your corset.
452
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:58,630
Stop.
453
00:10:58,633 --> 00:11:00,103
Disregard my stops.
454
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:00,970
Stop.
455
00:11:00,967 --> 00:11:01,767
Oh, baby.
456
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:02,597
Stop.
457
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,200
Here it comes, stop, stop, stop.
458
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,100
Stop-stop-stop.
459
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:05,970
I've stopped it
460
00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:07,067
all over your face.
461
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,067
Stop."
462
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,367
Ugh! This is getting
463
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:10,367
us nowhere.
464
00:11:10,367 --> 00:11:11,497
And where the hell is Woodie?
465
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:12,300
I can't believe
466
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:13,170
he stood me up.
467
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:14,127
>> Well, whatever he's doing,
468
00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,773
he cannot possibly be having
469
00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:18,197
as much fun as we are.
470
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,300
>> Whoo!
471
00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:26,297
Whoo-hoo-hoo, yeah!
472
00:11:32,433 --> 00:11:34,303
>> Oops.
473
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,600
>> Will you stop
474
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,500
dropping your pencil?
475
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,900
>> Sorry! Butterfingers.
476
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:41,800
>> Hey, thanks for helping me
477
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:42,700
out, Wadska.
478
00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:44,170
You really came through.
479
00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:44,927
>> I'm a little worried
480
00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:45,733
about Woodie, though.
481
00:11:45,733 --> 00:11:46,603
He didn't even call.
482
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:47,530
>> Why are you worried?
483
00:11:47,533 --> 00:11:48,233
He looks like he's having
484
00:11:48,233 --> 00:11:50,273
the greatest time of his life.
485
00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:51,527
>> Woodie?
486
00:11:51,533 --> 00:11:54,833
Woodie! What the (bleep)?
487
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:55,933
>> Hey, Woodie, you better
488
00:11:55,933 --> 00:11:58,373
go control your woman.
489
00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:00,127
>> Ooh, ice cream.
490
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:00,973
>> Hey, dude!
491
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:02,297
>> Don't "hey, dude" me.
492
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,300
(sniffing)
493
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:04,300
You're drunk.
494
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,330
I can smell it on your breath.
495
00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:08,603
>> Oh, sorry, I guess I got
496
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,430
caught up at this
497
00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:11,173
top ten party.
498
00:12:11,167 --> 00:12:12,497
I'm number five.
499
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,200
>> Number five!
500
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,730
Why didn't you tell me?
501
00:12:15,733 --> 00:12:16,873
>> You saw the list.
502
00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:17,967
But all you cared about
503
00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:19,267
was your own name.
504
00:12:19,267 --> 00:12:20,097
Besides, I didn't wanna
505
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,430
hurt your feelings.
506
00:12:21,433 --> 00:12:23,533
>> So you got wasted with Turk?
507
00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:24,673
And four of the hottest
508
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:27,167
half-naked girls I've ever seen?
509
00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:28,067
Well, okay, one's kind
510
00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:29,497
of a butterface, but--
511
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,600
How can you be so selfish?
512
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,470
>> Selfish?
513
00:12:32,467 --> 00:12:33,767
Because for one night, I went
514
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:34,797
to an awesome party instead
515
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,230
of hanging out with you?
516
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,703
>> But you're my friend,
517
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,070
and they're the enemy.
518
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,427
>> They're not my enemy.
519
00:12:40,433 --> 00:12:41,233
>> Come back, dude.
520
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:42,373
Your beer's getting warm,
521
00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:43,967
and your girl's getting cold.
522
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:44,967
>> Maybe you should go back
523
00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,467
to your new friends
524
00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:48,867
and their perfect breasts.
525
00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:50,527
But dear God, that one...
526
00:12:50,533 --> 00:12:52,273
She's like a Schnauzer.
527
00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:53,967
What is she, somebody's cousin?
528
00:12:53,967 --> 00:12:55,267
Go ahead, go!
529
00:12:55,267 --> 00:12:56,267
>> Maybe I will.
530
00:12:56,267 --> 00:12:56,967
>> Good.
531
00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:57,667
>> Good.
532
00:12:57,667 --> 00:12:58,927
>> Ice cream!
533
00:12:58,933 --> 00:12:59,633
I didn't know what you wanted,
534
00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:00,703
so I took a risk.
535
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,700
Fudge ripple!
536
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,470
Oh, I knew I should've gone
537
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:04,297
with vanilla.
538
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:08,200
**
539
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,500
(yawning)
540
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,300
(bullying laugh)
541
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:12,500
>> Sorry, Mon-dumpster.
542
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,900
You had your mouth open.
543
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:14,570
I thought you were
544
00:13:14,567 --> 00:13:15,897
the garbage can.
545
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:17,170
(bullying laugh)
546
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:18,927
>> Dude, that wasn't very cool.
547
00:13:18,933 --> 00:13:20,533
>> Whoa, number five doesn't
548
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,433
tell number one what's cool.
549
00:13:22,433 --> 00:13:23,303
Unless he wants to end up
550
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:26,330
in a 69 with my fist.
551
00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:27,733
Now, come on, we got rehearsal
552
00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:28,873
for "Damn Wankees."
553
00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:30,167
>> Oh, thank God,
554
00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:32,667
you guys made up.
555
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:35,167
Oh, that's just the garbage can.
556
00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:37,227
>> * I'm through with love *
557
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,333
* Since you took *
558
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:41,933
* Your love away from me *
559
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,200
* I'm blue because... *
560
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,170
(laughing)
561
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:49,067
>> Ahh!
562
00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:50,227
>> You ditched me.
563
00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:51,133
That's the definition
564
00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:52,533
of ditching.
565
00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:55,433
>> * I'm through with love *
566
00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:56,273
* Since you took *
567
00:13:56,267 --> 00:13:59,567
* Your love away from me *
568
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,870
* I'm blue because *
569
00:14:03,867 --> 00:14:05,127
(yawning)
570
00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:08,973
* Won't even stay with me *
571
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,100
* Won't play with me *
572
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,630
(dogs barking)
573
00:14:14,633 --> 00:14:17,433
>> Oh, that used to be us.
574
00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:19,373
Oh, why, Babs Brando?
575
00:14:19,367 --> 00:14:21,527
Why are men so difficult?
576
00:14:21,533 --> 00:14:22,333
>> If I could answer that
577
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:23,203
riddle, honey, I wouldn't
578
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,070
be standing here serving
579
00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:26,067
you Shirley Temples.
580
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,527
Wadska, are you okay?
581
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:29,233
Is this going to be like
582
00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:30,073
the time you tried to fly
583
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,427
with a cocktail umbrella?
584
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:32,803
>> Ha-ha-ha! No.
585
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:33,800
It's Mondo and Woodie.
586
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,500
Those boys are driving me crazy!
587
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,530
I never realized how much
588
00:14:37,533 --> 00:14:39,833
I loved being a third wheel.
589
00:14:39,833 --> 00:14:41,373
Coming up with wacky schemes,
590
00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:42,267
then ducking out before
591
00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:43,727
the consequences hit.
592
00:14:43,733 --> 00:14:44,833
God, I miss that.
593
00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:47,273
>> We were the three caballeros,
594
00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:48,767
and it worked for us.
595
00:14:48,767 --> 00:14:50,467
All the best things in the world
596
00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:52,197
come in triangles:
597
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,800
The Great Pyramids,
598
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:57,500
Hamentaschen cookies, triangles.
599
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:58,730
>> Oh, let's think.
600
00:14:58,733 --> 00:14:59,873
There has to be a way we can
601
00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:01,327
bring them together again.
602
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:02,073
(order bell dinging)
603
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:02,927
Here you go.
604
00:15:02,933 --> 00:15:04,433
Tsunami burger with M-M-A.
605
00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:05,873
>> M-M-A?
606
00:15:05,867 --> 00:15:07,427
>> Mustard, mayo, and avocado.
607
00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:10,073
>> That's it, Babs, M-M-A.
608
00:15:10,067 --> 00:15:12,297
I have got to get to the arcade!
609
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,800
Wadska, away!
610
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,067
>> Tokens accepted.
611
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,827
Blood brothers, join the fight.
612
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:37,703
>> You know this doesn't
613
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:38,830
change anything.
614
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,973
>> Why would it?
615
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:52,067
>> So ready for the debate
616
00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:53,067
tomorrow?
617
00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:54,427
>> Been working on it nonstop,
618
00:15:54,433 --> 00:15:55,303
but I don't have much
619
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,570
of an argument.
620
00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:57,227
Guess I lack
621
00:15:57,233 --> 00:15:58,473
the killer instinct.
622
00:15:58,467 --> 00:16:00,267
Gaaaah!
623
00:16:01,867 --> 00:16:02,597
>> Well, if it makes you feel
624
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,530
any better, the whole deal
625
00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:04,973
is just a scam.
626
00:16:04,967 --> 00:16:06,327
Saw Casa taking a leak.
627
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,803
He's hung like a peanut.
628
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,630
>> That does make me
629
00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:10,633
feel better-- gah!
630
00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:12,303
You're a real dong detective.
631
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,230
Ooh!
632
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:14,203
>> Hyuh, hyuh!
633
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,870
Okay, big finish.
634
00:16:15,867 --> 00:16:16,867
Remember the move?
635
00:16:16,867 --> 00:16:17,827
>> Are you kidding?
636
00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:20,633
I invented it.
637
00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:32,567
We did it, we did it!
638
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:34,067
>> Hey, Mondo...
639
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:36,067
>> I know, buddy, me too.
640
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,197
Let's never let our peckers
641
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,330
come between us again.
642
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:40,333
That sounded way better
643
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,673
in my head.
644
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,367
>> I wonder who this Winnie is.
645
00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:44,497
>> Player three
646
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:46,430
has joined the game.
647
00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:47,973
>> Your first name is Winnie?
648
00:16:47,967 --> 00:16:50,367
>> Winthorp Aguilera Wadska.
649
00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:51,367
That's my name.
650
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:52,267
Don't wear it out.
651
00:16:52,267 --> 00:16:54,427
>> Yeah, I don't think anyone's
652
00:16:54,433 --> 00:16:55,903
going to wear that out.
653
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:56,670
Now let's see
654
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:57,967
if we can win a debate.
655
00:16:57,967 --> 00:17:01,067
D-list is going down.
656
00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:03,597
>> Hug?
657
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,500
>> Sure.
658
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:05,800
>> Kiss?
659
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,170
Oh, all right, after the debate.
660
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,130
**
661
00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:11,903
>> Are you ready
662
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,370
for some penis...
663
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,567
debate?
664
00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,067
>> Freedom of (bleep) speech!
665
00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:19,297
Get it? You can say (bleep),
666
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:20,800
because if they don't let you
667
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:21,770
say (bleep),
668
00:17:21,767 --> 00:17:23,567
then it is censorship.
669
00:17:23,567 --> 00:17:24,327
>> Close your face holes,
670
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:25,373
miscreants.
671
00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:26,227
For today's debate,
672
00:17:26,233 --> 00:17:27,173
we'll follow basic
673
00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:28,727
parliamentary rules.
674
00:17:28,733 --> 00:17:30,173
We'll break every 15 minutes
675
00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:32,267
so I can smoke a Parliament.
676
00:17:32,267 --> 00:17:33,927
Miss Stone, we flipped a coin,
677
00:17:33,933 --> 00:17:34,903
and despite the results,
678
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:37,930
you shall go first.
679
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:38,933
>> Hey, guys.
680
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:39,903
Instead of just talking
681
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,330
about freedom of expression,
682
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,903
I thought I'd just
683
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,670
express myself freely.
684
00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:45,697
Hit it, girls.
685
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:48,300
**
686
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:55,173
>> I just love this country
687
00:17:55,167 --> 00:17:56,667
so much.
688
00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:59,227
**
689
00:18:02,567 --> 00:18:03,267
>> Well, I think
690
00:18:03,267 --> 00:18:04,927
we have a winner.
691
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:05,803
Oh, yeah.
692
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:06,530
You're on the clock,
693
00:18:06,533 --> 00:18:07,573
shrinky-dink.
694
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:08,367
>> All right.
695
00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:10,527
I guess I gotta fight sex
696
00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:11,333
with sex.
697
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:12,203
>> No, no, no, no, no.
698
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:12,970
>> That's how
699
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:13,767
we got into this mess.
700
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:15,267
>> Here's your speech.
701
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:17,097
Now, just follow this verbatim
702
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:19,300
and victory will be ours.
703
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:20,270
>> Wadska, these are blank.
704
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,367
>> Precisely!
705
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:24,127
Because the answer is in here.
706
00:18:24,133 --> 00:18:26,573
It's been in there all along.
707
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:27,467
>> No! Wadska,
708
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:28,697
I really need that speech.
709
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:31,070
>> 30 seconds left.
710
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:32,197
>> Hello, everybody.
711
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,330
(clearing throat)
712
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,573
I guess all I can do
713
00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:37,467
is speak from the heart.
714
00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:39,527
>> * My pride my bathing suit *
715
00:18:39,533 --> 00:18:40,733
* My pride *
716
00:18:40,733 --> 00:18:43,673
>> * I can't feel my legs **
717
00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:45,267
(sobbing)
718
00:18:45,267 --> 00:18:46,827
>> Oh, what's up, Pinocchio?
719
00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:48,073
>> Hey, Sis.
720
00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:49,827
Brad Abelson told everyone
721
00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:50,773
I took a dump
722
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:52,267
in the sink at school.
723
00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:53,397
But I didn't!
724
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,100
That dump was already there.
725
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,800
(crying)
726
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:57,700
>> Oh, just tell everyone
727
00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,070
he's a hermaphrodite.
728
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:00,367
The only way to kill a rumor
729
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:03,527
is with a better rumor.
730
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:04,573
>> Could we have a brief recess?
731
00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:07,067
>> Five minutes.
732
00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:07,827
>> Okay, remember
733
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:08,873
what I told you.
734
00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:09,767
>> Thanks, dude.
735
00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:12,897
>> Hey, you're my blood brother.
736
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:14,630
>> Milan, can I talk to you
737
00:19:14,633 --> 00:19:15,533
privately?
738
00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:16,403
>> There's nothing my friends
739
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,230
can't hear.
740
00:19:17,233 --> 00:19:18,933
>> Okay, just wanted you to know
741
00:19:18,933 --> 00:19:19,833
that I'm going to distribute
742
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:21,073
these papers in the morning.
743
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:23,497
It's called the "S.P. List."
744
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:24,630
I'll give you a hint.
745
00:19:24,633 --> 00:19:27,373
The first word is "smelly."
746
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,727
>> Beat it, nosey bitches.
747
00:19:28,733 --> 00:19:29,673
Look, I know what
748
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:30,627
you're trying to do here.
749
00:19:30,633 --> 00:19:31,533
But it's not going
750
00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:32,603
to work, okay?
751
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,870
Everyone knows I smell
752
00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:35,667
like roses and butterscotch.
753
00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:38,067
Your rumor is a total lie.
754
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:39,867
>> So is the D-list.
755
00:19:39,867 --> 00:19:41,267
Mm, but I suppose you're right.
756
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,067
People don't listen to rumors.
757
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,127
Anywho, I'm off
758
00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:46,073
to the copy machine.
759
00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:47,427
>> It seems Miss Stone
760
00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:49,133
has forfeited the debate.
761
00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:49,933
Victory belongs
762
00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:51,073
to the little penis.
763
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:51,897
>> Once again, this school
764
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:52,930
does nothing to prepare you
765
00:19:52,933 --> 00:19:54,103
for the real world.
766
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:55,170
>> According to the terms
767
00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:56,467
of the debate, the D-list
768
00:19:56,467 --> 00:19:59,467
will be abolished forever.
769
00:19:59,467 --> 00:20:00,667
And, to be consistent,
770
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:01,667
we're also abolishing
771
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,097
the honor roll.
772
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:03,970
>> All right!
773
00:20:03,967 --> 00:20:04,927
Whoo! That's so wonderful!
774
00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:06,433
>> Congratulations, Mondo.
775
00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:07,273
You did it!
776
00:20:07,267 --> 00:20:09,027
>> Thanks, and, uh... ahem,
777
00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,073
just to clear the air,
778
00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:11,427
I don't really have
779
00:20:11,433 --> 00:20:12,703
a small penis.
780
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:14,100
>> Oh, I know, we all know.
781
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:14,970
Your fly was open
782
00:20:14,967 --> 00:20:18,567
the entire time.
783
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:19,467
All right.
784
00:20:19,467 --> 00:20:21,767
I'll give you props on that.
785
00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:23,027
>> I'm so proud of you.
786
00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:26,903
I think you earned this, champ.
787
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:27,900
>> Thanks, man.
788
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,300
Milan totally caved
789
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,930
about the S.P. list.
790
00:20:30,933 --> 00:20:33,133
>> Yeah, the smelly people list
791
00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:35,073
would have rocked Del Toro High
792
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,497
to its core.
793
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,970
>> And now for that kiss.
794
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:43,270
**
795
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,400
**
796
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:55,000
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