All language subtitles for Good Vibes s01e04 Dont Blow Your Wadska.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,000 [surf rock music] 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,870 - SO WHEN YOU'RE WITH A GIRL, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOB MOVE? 3 00:00:09,867 --> 00:00:12,827 - OH, I LIKE TO DO THE "COMBINATION LOCK." 4 00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:14,973 RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT... 5 00:00:14,967 --> 00:00:16,027 AND PULL. 6 00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:17,103 - [laughs] 7 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,530 I'M PARTIAL TO THE "PIZZA MAN," 8 00:00:18,533 --> 00:00:21,533 WHERE I LIGHTLY KNEAD THEM LIKE DOUGH AND SAUCE THEM. 9 00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:22,603 - [laughs] 10 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,100 ANOTHER ONE OF MY SIGNATURE MOVES 11 00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:26,500 IS "PUTTING OUT THE CANDLE." [blows] 12 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:27,800 - [laughs] 13 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,870 AND WHEN THE LADIES WANT SOMETHING MORE ROMANTIC, 14 00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:31,927 I BREAK OUT THE "PLAYFUL KITTEN". 15 00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:34,033 [purrs like a cat] 16 00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:35,733 - [chuckles] 17 00:00:35,733 --> 00:00:37,633 SOMETIMES, WHEN I'M WITH EUROPEAN GIRLS, 18 00:00:37,633 --> 00:00:42,103 I LIKE TO GIVE THEM "THE GERMAN CIGARETTE." 19 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,170 [with German accent] "VE HAVE VAYS 20 00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:45,997 OF MAKING YOU TALK." 21 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,830 - THAT'S THE SCHINDLER'S TITS. 22 00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:49,573 - THOSE SOUND LIKE SOME RIGHTEOUS MOVES 23 00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:52,467 FOR A COUPLE OF MCLOVINS THAT HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN A PAIR. 24 00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:54,527 [chuckles] YEAH, BUT DON'T FORGET. 25 00:00:54,533 --> 00:00:57,833 THERE'S A HUMAN BEING ATTACHED TO THOSE BREASTS. 26 00:00:57,833 --> 00:01:01,073 AND THAT HUMAN BEING IS LOCO IN THE CABEZA, 27 00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:02,527 'CAUSE SHE'LL STEAL YOUR MONEY, 28 00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:04,133 RIP YOUR HEART OUT, 29 00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:07,703 AND TAKE THOSE CANS TO A TIME-SHARE IN LAKE HAVASU. 30 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:12,200 [sobbing] SADIE! 31 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,200 [rock music] 32 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:23,130 * * 33 00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,200 - WE LEARN MORE IN THIS CAFETERIA 34 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,800 FROM SOCIAL INTERACTIONS 35 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,230 THAN WE DO IN ANY USELESS BRAINWASHING CLASS. 36 00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,673 IGNORE THE BELL, PEOPLE. 37 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:46,697 DO NOT LET IT CONTROL YOU. 38 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:47,730 [bell rings] 39 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,073 YOU ARE ALL COGS IN THE MACHINE! 40 00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:52,167 [gulps] 41 00:01:52,167 --> 00:01:54,797 - [whispers] I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THOSE TWO ARE SIBLINGS. 42 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,330 IT'S REALLY STARTING TO MESS WITH MY HEAD. 43 00:01:57,333 --> 00:02:00,103 [groovy music] 44 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:01,800 - [giggles] STOP, IT TICKLES. 45 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:02,800 - [shudders] 46 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:03,800 - HI, GUYS. 47 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:04,870 - HEY, JEENA. 48 00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:06,227 DID YOU TRY THE CORN DOGS TODAY? 49 00:02:06,233 --> 00:02:07,973 THEY'RE THE BEST THINGS I'VE EVER PUT IN MY MOUTH. 50 00:02:07,967 --> 00:02:09,167 I MEAN, OF THE THINGS I'VE EATEN. 51 00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:10,767 I DON'T JUST PUT THINGS IN MY MOUTH. 52 00:02:10,767 --> 00:02:12,067 LIKE, IF SOMEBODY PUTS SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH 53 00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:13,527 THAT WASN'T FOOD, I'D SPIT IT OUT. 54 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,803 NOT THAT I'M A SPITTER-- 55 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,200 WELL, I'M NOT A SWALLOWER, EITHER, I JUST-- 56 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,100 [sighs] DID YOU SAY YOU TRIED THE CORN DOGS? 57 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:22,700 - NO, I JUST CHOKED DOWN A SAUSAGE. 58 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:25,070 [laughter] 59 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,627 - [giggling] 60 00:02:26,633 --> 00:02:29,403 - WELL, I BETTER GO TALK HIM DOWN. 61 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,170 I'M IN CHARGE THIS WEEKEND SINCE OUR PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN. 62 00:02:32,167 --> 00:02:34,927 STOP WASHING YOURSELF IN THE DRINKING FOUNTAIN. 63 00:02:34,933 --> 00:02:36,973 - I WILL WHEN THEY INSTALL A BIDET. 64 00:02:36,967 --> 00:02:38,227 - [whispering] DUDE, DID YOU HEAR THAT? 65 00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:40,803 ALL OF MY VIRGINITY-LOSING FANTASIES START WITH, 66 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,200 "MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN," AND END WITH, 67 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,130 "MONDO, YOU'RE THE BEST LOVER I'VE EVER HAD. 68 00:02:45,133 --> 00:02:46,303 HERE'S A SANDWICH." 69 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,100 I'VE GOT TO GET INTO THAT HOUSE. 70 00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,870 - TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT FROM PLANET WADSKA. 71 00:02:49,867 --> 00:02:51,097 HE SPENDS EVERY NIGHT WITH HER. 72 00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:53,330 - THAT'S IT. WADSKA'S THE KEY. 73 00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:57,703 OH, IF YOUR NOSE WEREN'T SO PHALLIC, I'D KISS YOU. 74 00:02:57,700 --> 00:03:00,570 [electrical buzzing] 75 00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:03,497 HEY, WADSKA. IS THAT A TIME MACHINE? 76 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,400 [machine beeping] 77 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,070 [explosion] 78 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:08,297 - NOPE. 79 00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:11,070 - ANYWAY, WOODIE AND I WERE TALKING, AND WE REALIZED 80 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:13,227 WE HARDLY EVER HANG OUT WITH YOU OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL. 81 00:03:13,233 --> 00:03:15,373 WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AWESOME TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER. 82 00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:17,197 UNFORTUNATELY, MY HOUSE IS BEING, 83 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,300 UH, BUG-BOMBED AND WOODIE'S HOUSE IS-- 84 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:23,370 - OH, IT'S ON FIRE. - IT'S ON HORRIBLE FIRE. 85 00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:26,467 SO, I'M NOT SURE WHERE WE CAN HAVE IT. 86 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:29,627 - [laughs] I SEE EXACTLY WHERE THIS IS GOING. 87 00:03:29,633 --> 00:03:30,633 - YOU DO? 88 00:03:30,633 --> 00:03:31,773 - THE SAD, FAT, LITTLE NEW KID 89 00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:32,967 WANTS TO SLEEP OVER AT MY HOUSE 90 00:03:32,967 --> 00:03:35,067 AND GAIN SOME POPULARITY POINTS! 91 00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:36,067 WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK! 92 00:03:36,067 --> 00:03:37,897 MY PARENTS ARE AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND. 93 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,070 - REALLY? 94 00:03:39,067 --> 00:03:42,067 - YES, WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT TO DO. 95 00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:44,197 UNSPEAKABLE THINGS. 96 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,570 - SOUNDS PERFECT. 97 00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,567 - AND A LITTLE CREEPY. - EXCELLENT. 98 00:03:47,567 --> 00:03:49,227 THEN IT'S A THREE-WAY-SLEEP-DATE. 99 00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:50,673 - OR WE CAN CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE. 100 00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:51,667 - OH, FINE. 101 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:54,827 THEN A THREE-MAN FUN-GASM IT IS! 102 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:56,673 SEE YOU LATER, GENITALS! 103 00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:58,067 - FOR THE RECORD, 104 00:03:58,067 --> 00:04:00,267 I HAVE NOT AGREED TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY SLEEPOVER. 105 00:04:00,267 --> 00:04:01,897 - DUDE, I NEED YOU TO OCCUPY WADSKA 106 00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,370 SO I CAN HANG OUT WITH JEENA. 107 00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:06,227 - FINE, I WILL BE YOUR WINGMAN ON TWO CONDITIONS: 108 00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:09,073 ONE, YOU HAVE TO WAX MY BOARD FOR A MONTH. 109 00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:11,727 AND TWO, I GET TO FEEL YOUR CHESTICLES. 110 00:04:11,733 --> 00:04:13,133 IT MAY BE AS CLOSE AS I'M GOING TO GET 111 00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:14,833 TO A GIRL FOR A WHILE AND I WANT TO TRY OUT 112 00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:16,233 SOME NEW MOVES I'VE BEEN WORKING ON. 113 00:04:16,233 --> 00:04:17,933 - ALL RIGHT, FINE. 114 00:04:17,933 --> 00:04:19,473 - PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU. 115 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,127 SLUT. 116 00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:24,573 - AREN'T YOU EXCITED? FIRST SLEEPOVER IN THE NEW TOWN? 117 00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:26,067 - IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL, MOM. 118 00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:27,267 IT'S JUST WADSKA'S. 119 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,097 - OF COURSE IT IS, MY LITTLE CHERUB. 120 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:30,230 GOOD LUCK. [chuckles] 121 00:04:30,233 --> 00:04:32,703 WITH JEENA. 122 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:36,100 - SWEET EVENING, BABS. YOU'RE LOOKING FOXY AS ALWAYS. 123 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,570 - OH, HI, MS. TEETS. 124 00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:39,967 - WE'RE NOT IN SCHOOL, SWEETIE. CALL ME VONEETA. 125 00:04:39,967 --> 00:04:41,297 - OKAY, VONEETA. 126 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,430 I'LL HAVE YOUR RENT CHECK FIRST THING ON MONDAY. 127 00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:46,073 THANKS AGAIN FOR GIVING US SUCH A REASONABLE PRICE 128 00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:47,227 ON SUCH A NICE PLACE. 129 00:04:47,233 --> 00:04:48,573 - OH, HUSH YOUR SUCKHOLE, SWEETIE. 130 00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:50,867 US YOUNG, ATTRACTIVE, SEXUALLY PROGRESSIVE WOMEN 131 00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:52,097 HAVE TO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. 132 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:53,600 ALL RIGHT. WELL, TA-TA. 133 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,830 BETTER LET YOU GO 134 00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:56,573 AND GET YOUR FREAK-END STARTED, SISTER-GIRL. 135 00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:58,097 - I'M ACTUALLY STAYING IN TONIGHT. 136 00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,430 - THAT'S SURPRISING. 137 00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,103 YOU'VE GONE OUT THE LAST FOUR FRIDAYS IN A ROW. 138 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,130 THREE IN THAT LITTLE LOW-CUT BLACK DRESS. 139 00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:04,833 I'M GUESSING. 140 00:05:04,833 --> 00:05:06,173 - YEAH, I'M TAKING THE NIGHT OFF. 141 00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,567 YOU KNOW, WITH MONDO GONE, 142 00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:09,827 I ACTUALLY HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE OF CLEANING THIS PLACE. 143 00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:11,503 - MUST BE NICE TO HAVE CHOICES. 144 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,300 FOR ME, FRIDAY NIGHT MEANS RERUNS OF WIFE SWAP 145 00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:14,930 AND A LEAN POCKET. 146 00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:17,203 I DON'T EVEN BOTHER DEFROSTING THEM ANYMORE. 147 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,900 AFTER THAT, I CALL THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE 148 00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,270 RADIO STATION AND DEDICATE A CARRIE UNDERWOOD SONG 149 00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:23,927 TO MYSELF, JUST TO PRETEND THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE 150 00:05:23,933 --> 00:05:25,403 WHO CARES ABOUT ME. 151 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,670 THEN I CRY INTO MY PILLOW, PASS OUT, AND IF I'M LUCKY, 152 00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:30,797 I WAKE UP, AND IT'S MONDAY. 153 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,730 SO ANYHOO... 154 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,873 - WAIT. YOU KNOW WHAT, VONEETA? 155 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:37,427 WHY DON'T WE HAVE A GIRLS' NIGHT OUT? 156 00:05:37,433 --> 00:05:38,933 - REALLY? - YEAH. 157 00:05:38,933 --> 00:05:41,473 WE'LL BE LIKE A COUPLE OF SEX IN THE CITY GIRLS. 158 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:42,567 - OKAY, I'LL GO. 159 00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:44,427 EVERYONE SAYS I'M JUST LIKE SAMANTHA, 160 00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:45,703 BUT WITHOUT THAT MANNISH VOICE. 161 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:46,900 - HMM, RIGHT. 162 00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:49,430 - OH, FANTASTIC, I'LL WEAR MY "DO ME" MUUMUU. 163 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,673 - GREAT. I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD WEAR. 164 00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:51,967 - THE LOW-CUT BLACK DRESS! 165 00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:54,397 OR SOMETHING ELSE. IT'S ALL REALLY THE SAME TO ME. 166 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,900 BUT WEAR IT. 167 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:58,170 - I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE ABOUT TO ENTER JEENA'S HOUSE. 168 00:05:58,167 --> 00:06:00,897 SHE SLEEPS HERE. SHE SHOWERS NAKED HERE. 169 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:01,900 - SHE ALSO POOPS HERE. 170 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:02,930 - I KNOW! 171 00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:04,073 [doorbell rings] 172 00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:05,067 [door creaks open] 173 00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:07,567 [sinister laughter] 174 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,097 - WELCOME, BEST FRIENDS FROM SCHOOL. 175 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:11,230 [door slams shut] 176 00:06:11,233 --> 00:06:15,233 THAT WAS THE WIND. [laughs wickedly] 177 00:06:15,233 --> 00:06:16,473 I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE. 178 00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:17,827 MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. 179 00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:19,303 WE HAVE PREMIUM CABLE 180 00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:22,400 AND VARIOUS HETEROSEXUAL MAGAZINES. 181 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,430 [evilly laughs] 182 00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:27,403 [upbeat music] 183 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,230 [dove coos] 184 00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:31,333 NAILED IT! 185 00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:33,133 NOW THAT THE BIRD HAS DIED IN VAIN, 186 00:06:33,133 --> 00:06:36,673 WE CAN COMMENCE THE GREATEST SLEEPOVER OF YOUR LIVES. 187 00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:38,567 - YOU GOT TO ADMIT, HE REALLY COMMITS. 188 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:41,767 - WE HAVE A LOT TO DO. FOLLOW ME. 189 00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:45,427 WELCOME TO MY BEDROOM, AKA, MR. MAGORIUM'S MASTURBATORIUM. 190 00:06:45,433 --> 00:06:47,873 - I JUST REALIZED I'M NOT SLEEPY. 191 00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:49,067 - I SHOULD TELL YOU I LOST TRACK 192 00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:50,967 OF MY BABY RATTLESNAKE A FEW WEEKS AGO. 193 00:06:50,967 --> 00:06:51,927 I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S DEAD BY NOW, 194 00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,273 BUT IF NOT, NO WORRIES. 195 00:06:53,267 --> 00:06:54,767 YOU'LL HAVE THREE HOURS BEFORE YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM 196 00:06:54,767 --> 00:06:57,597 COMPLETELY SHUTS DOWN. 197 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,070 NOW, HERE ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND WALKIE-TALKIES. 198 00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:02,627 PLEASE ONLY USE THESE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY 199 00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,673 OR IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ROOM SOMEONE IS IN. 200 00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:07,767 TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO BLOW YOU BOTH-- 201 00:07:07,767 --> 00:07:08,767 LET ME FINISH-- 202 00:07:08,767 --> 00:07:10,397 AWAY! 203 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,270 I HAVE CREATED A SCHEDULE OF ACTIVITIES TO MAXIMIZE 204 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,667 MAN-ON-MAN-ON-MAN JOY 205 00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:18,297 AND RAISE OUR BEST-FRIENDSHIP TO ANOTHER LEVEL. 206 00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,270 - WHAT'S "CHIPMUNKING"? 207 00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:21,427 - PATIENCE. 208 00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,433 YOU WILL FIND OUT AT CLOSING CEREMONIES, 209 00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:24,933 IF YOU CAN LAST THAT LONG. 210 00:07:24,933 --> 00:07:26,303 I WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 211 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:29,270 I'M GOING TO SLIP INTO SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL. 212 00:07:29,267 --> 00:07:30,727 - WHAT'S IN THAT ROOM? - JUST A CLOSET. 213 00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:31,773 [door slams shut] 214 00:07:31,767 --> 00:07:34,367 [locks clicking] 215 00:07:34,367 --> 00:07:36,127 - LOOK, WE MADE HIS HERO WALL. 216 00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:38,303 [suspenseful music] 217 00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:39,500 - THIS ISN'T A HERO WALL. 218 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,830 IT'S A HIT LIST. 219 00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:42,603 WADSKA IS THE MESSENGER OF DEATH, 220 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,970 AND WE'RE NEXT. 221 00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:46,727 - [on walkie-talkie] I'M COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET. 222 00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:49,503 LADIES AND GENTLE-LADIES, 223 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,930 IT IS TIME FOR OUR FIRST ACTIVITY: 224 00:07:51,933 --> 00:07:53,733 PANDORA PAINTBALL! 225 00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,573 BUT I ONLY HAVE ONE AVATAR AMP SUIT 226 00:07:55,567 --> 00:07:56,927 AND ONE PAINTBALL GUN. 227 00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:59,803 SO I WILL BE THE HUNTER AND YOU WILL BE MY NA'VI PREY. 228 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,170 RUN! [paintball gunshots] 229 00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:03,667 [rapid gunfire] 230 00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:07,727 - * INTO A CIRCLE WAS NO LIFE * 231 00:08:07,733 --> 00:08:13,303 * I DEFY * 232 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:17,470 both: * LET THE RAIN FALL DOWN AND WAKE MY DREAMS * 233 00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:21,497 * LET IT WASH AWAY MY SANITY * 234 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:24,070 - * 'CAUSE I WANNA FEEL THE THUNDER * 235 00:08:24,067 --> 00:08:25,227 * I WANNA SCREAM * 236 00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:26,333 - MONDO? - [screams] 237 00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:27,473 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? 238 00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:28,867 THIS IS MY BEDROOM. - [clears throat] 239 00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:31,167 SORRY, I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO HIDE. 240 00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:33,667 WADSKA'S RUNNING AROUND WITH A GUN, HUNTING US. 241 00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:35,327 YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE COVER. 242 00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:36,433 - [laughs] I'LL BE SAFE. 243 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,673 HE LOVES HIS SISTER. 244 00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:39,197 [gun clicks] AND HE DON'T WANT TO GET GOT. 245 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:43,070 - [laughs] 246 00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:45,097 SO WHAT ARE YOU UP TO TONIGHT? 247 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,800 - I HAVE A LOT OF STUDYING TO DO. 248 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,870 - WELL, IF YOU NEED HELP WITH ANYTHING, 249 00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:50,527 I CAN TAKE A BREAK FROM THE SLEEPOVER-- 250 00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:51,533 [doorbell rings] 251 00:08:51,533 --> 00:08:52,533 - WOULD YOU MIND ANSWERING THAT? 252 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,173 - SURELY. 253 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:57,167 - HEY, BABE. HOW'S THIS FOR ROMANCE? 254 00:08:57,167 --> 00:08:58,167 - [screams] 255 00:08:58,167 --> 00:09:00,167 WHY DO YOU HAVE A ROSE IN YOUR ASS? 256 00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:01,297 - OW! 257 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,670 WHY ARE YOU STARING AT MY ASS, PROP 8? 258 00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:04,897 AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 259 00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:06,070 - UM, UM... 260 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:08,467 HAVING A SLEEPOVER WITH WADSKA. 261 00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:11,227 - [chuckles] THAT SOUNDS SUPER AWESOME, 262 00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,333 IF "AWESOME" MEANT "GAY," 263 00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:16,073 AND "SUPER" MEANT... "SUPER." 264 00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:17,627 WHERE'S JEENA? 265 00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:18,833 - OH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WANT 266 00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:20,133 TO HANG OUT WITH HER, TONIGHT. 267 00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:22,873 SHE CAUGHT A TERRIBLE... 268 00:09:22,867 --> 00:09:24,767 PERIOD. 269 00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:25,897 - [sniffs] 270 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,930 NICE TRY, CHODE. THAT'S PAINT. 271 00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:29,233 I'LL SHOW YOU SOME BLOOD. 272 00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:31,103 IT'S YOUR FACE'S TIME OF THE MONTH. 273 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,670 - OH, IS THAT FOR ME? 274 00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:33,927 THAT'S SWEET. 275 00:09:33,933 --> 00:09:35,433 THE FIRST ROSE YOU'VE GIVEN ME 276 00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:36,873 THAT DIDN'T COME OUT OF YOUR ASS. 277 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:41,367 BUT DON'T FORGET, THIS IS A STUDY DATE. 278 00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:44,397 - SUCK IT. 279 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,930 - [laughing] 280 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:48,073 TARGET DESTROYED. 281 00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:49,267 - I FOUND ANOTHER GUN. 282 00:09:49,267 --> 00:09:51,467 [giggles] SORRY. 283 00:09:54,133 --> 00:09:57,603 - [strumming ukulele] 284 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,870 - DAMN, NOT A LOT OF SEX OPTIONS UP IN HERE. 285 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,097 - WHAT ABOUT LONNIE? 286 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,470 - I HAD THAT FOOL. 287 00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:04,727 BUT HE WASN'T QUITE, YOU KNOW, MAN ENOUGH FOR ME. 288 00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:06,433 - WELL, THAT DOESN'T LOOK VERY SMALL. 289 00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:08,173 - OH, MY ARMS ONLY GO THIS CLOSE. 290 00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:09,427 HAVEN'T CLAPPED IN YEARS. 291 00:10:09,433 --> 00:10:11,873 - PUPU PLATTER FOR SIX? 292 00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:13,397 - I SAID FOR EIGHT. WHAT THE EFF? 293 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,400 BUT I GUESS THIS WILL HAVE TO DO. 294 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,200 ALAS, I'M PROBABLY ALWAYS GONNA BE SINGLE. 295 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,230 IT'S NO SECRET WHY. 296 00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:22,433 [belches] HOMEGIRL CAN'T COMMIT. 297 00:10:22,433 --> 00:10:23,503 OH, [bleep]. 298 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,300 I GOT PUPU ON MY "DO ME" MUUMUU. 299 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:26,430 OH, GOD. 300 00:10:26,433 --> 00:10:28,673 - OH, IT'S JUST A LITTLE STAIN, HONEY. 301 00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:29,667 IT'LL COME OUT. 302 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:30,727 - OH, IT'S NOT THAT. 303 00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:31,873 WHO AM I KIDDING? 304 00:10:31,867 --> 00:10:34,067 I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE I'VE GOT IT ALL-- 305 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,467 SEX ED TEACHER, INCOME RENTAL PROPERTY, 306 00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,727 KARDASHIAN BOOTY-- 307 00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:40,633 BUT THE TRUTH IS, BABS... 308 00:10:40,633 --> 00:10:42,433 [sobs] I'M VERY LONELY. 309 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,773 - YOU POOR THING. 310 00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:45,867 YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO MAKE IT MY PERSONAL QUEST 311 00:10:45,867 --> 00:10:47,827 TO FIND YOU A GOOD GUY TONIGHT. 312 00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:48,833 [shrieks] 313 00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:50,203 - ORDER YOUR OWN, BITCH! 314 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,130 [chuckles] JUST KIDDING. 315 00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:54,303 BUT GET YOUR OWN. 316 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,030 - [groans] 317 00:10:56,033 --> 00:10:57,803 AH. [gasps] 318 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:58,930 WOODIE, WAKE UP. 319 00:10:58,933 --> 00:11:00,573 - HMM. WHERE ARE WE? 320 00:11:00,567 --> 00:11:01,897 WHAT'S GOING ON? 321 00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:04,870 - HELLO AGAIN, BEST FRIENDS. DON'T BE ALARMED. 322 00:11:04,867 --> 00:11:06,627 I ASSURE YOU ARE BOTH IN POSSESSION 323 00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,633 OF YOUR ORIGINAL KIDNEYS AND YOUR UNCONSCIOUS BODIES 324 00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:12,603 WERE NOT VIOLATED BY ANYONE OUTSIDE OF THIS RESIDENCE. 325 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,230 IT IS TIME FOR OUR NEXT ACTIVITY! 326 00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:17,633 SUSPENDED ABOVE EACH-- 327 00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,403 [breaking up] DAMN IT! SON OF A-- 328 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,630 THIS FU--THING--BALLS! 329 00:11:21,633 --> 00:11:24,133 EVERY DAMN TIME! UGH! 330 00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:25,603 OKAY, WHERE WAS I? 331 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,600 OH, YEAH. 332 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,170 SUSPENDED ABOVE-- 333 00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:29,227 MOTHER-- 334 00:11:29,233 --> 00:11:31,733 DAMN IT-- PIECE OF-- 335 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:32,833 [sighs] SUSPENDED ABOVE EACH OF YOU 336 00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:34,433 IS YOUR KEY TO FREEDOM. 337 00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,333 HOWEVER, TAKING SAID KEY WILL CAUSE THE TUB 338 00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:38,203 OF POISONOUS SPIDERS, CENTIPEDES, AND WORMS 339 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,500 TO SPILL DOWN ON YOUR COMRADE. 340 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,370 YOU HAVE 60 SECONDS. THAT'S ALL. 341 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,667 [timer beeps] 342 00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:44,467 - WOODIE, YOU KNOW YOU'RE MY BEST BUD AND ALL, 343 00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:47,527 BUT I NEED TO GET TURK OUT OF HERE SO I CAN GET WITH JEENA. 344 00:11:47,533 --> 00:11:50,203 - FINE, BUT IT'S UNLIMITED CHESTICLES, UNDER THE SHIRT, 345 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,800 BARE SKIN TO BARE SKIN. 346 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:53,870 - DONE. 347 00:11:53,867 --> 00:11:56,097 - YOU HAVE NO SELF-ESTEEM. 348 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,770 [timer beeping] HMM. 349 00:11:57,767 --> 00:12:00,067 I GUESS WADSKA'S-- 350 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,897 [screams] 351 00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:04,330 HOW'D I GET IN A BATHING SUIT? 352 00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:07,233 - JEENA, STOP BEING SUCH A STICK IN THE MUFF. 353 00:12:07,233 --> 00:12:08,733 WE'LL GET TO STUDYING IN A MINUTE. 354 00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:11,233 HEY, I WROTE A SONG FOR YOU. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. 355 00:12:11,233 --> 00:12:15,533 * YOU'RE A LUCKY GIRL, YOU GET TO BE WITH ME * 356 00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:19,533 * YOU GOT SOME LUCKY EYES, 'CAUSE IT'S ME THAT YOU SEE * 357 00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:22,833 * MY HAIR, MY ABS, MY RIPPLING PECS * 358 00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:26,633 * THEY'D EVEN MAKE GOD ERECT * 359 00:12:26,633 --> 00:12:29,933 * YOU'RE A LUCKY GIRL, I'D GIVE YOU ME FOR FREE * 360 00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:34,303 * I'M JEALOUS OF YOU, YOU GET TO MAKE LOVE TO ME * 361 00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:38,867 - IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. 362 00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:41,097 HOW AM I GOING TO COMPETE WITH THAT? 363 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:44,370 UGH! AND WHY AM I SO FAT? 364 00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:47,267 OOH. 365 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,770 - HOW ABOUT THAT GUY? 366 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:53,167 - PASS. I'LL JUST BE HORNY AN HOUR LATER. 367 00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:54,527 DELICATE WRISTS. 368 00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:56,233 IT'D BE LIKE BOUNCING A HOT DOG DOWN A HALLWAY. 369 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,233 NO, HE'S A FAT PERSON. 370 00:12:58,233 --> 00:13:01,333 - WHAT ABOUT THAT EUROPEAN GUY? 371 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,473 - OH, YO-DEE-LAY-ME-NEVER. 372 00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:04,697 - WELL, HELLO, THERE, WET DREAM. 373 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,570 I SEE YOU'RE ALMOST DONE WITH YOUR DRINK. 374 00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:08,597 HOW ABOUT I GET YOU A FRESHIE? 375 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,330 - MY FRIEND AND I ALWAYS DRINK TOGETHER, 376 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:12,433 SO MAYBE YOU BOTH COULD JOIN US? 377 00:13:12,433 --> 00:13:14,433 - [munching loudly] 378 00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:15,603 - WHOA, WHOA! GOD, NO. 379 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:16,970 I-I-I FORGOT THAT I'M GAY. 380 00:13:16,967 --> 00:13:18,927 - UH, ME TOO. 381 00:13:18,933 --> 00:13:23,303 - PROVE IT. 382 00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,230 PUT YOUR TONGUES IN EACH OTHER'S MOUTH, BITCHES. 383 00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:28,303 [both groaning] 384 00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,500 LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ALL STRIKES, AND NO BALLS. 385 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,130 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO BACK TO MY PLACE, 386 00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:35,233 OPEN UP SOME CHERRY WINE, AND TAKE A DIP IN THE HOT TUB? 387 00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:38,073 YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK A HYDRAULIC LIFT, RIGHT? 388 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:43,697 - HANG ON, BABS BRANDO DOES NOT GIVE UP THAT EASY. 389 00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:45,330 - AH! 390 00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:46,273 AH, THANKS. 391 00:13:46,267 --> 00:13:47,927 - HMM, ROUGH ONE, HUH? 392 00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:49,903 - THEY DON'T HAVE TO SET ME ON FIRE. 393 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:51,300 THEY COULD JUST SAY, "NO." 394 00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:52,800 OH, WELL. 395 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,570 - HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT COMING HOME 396 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:58,467 WITH ME AND MY FRIEND? 397 00:13:58,467 --> 00:14:00,127 - SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 398 00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:05,073 TO GET TO THE PRINCESS, I HAVE TO GO THROUGH BOWSER. 399 00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:07,597 - COME ON, TURK. WE HAVE TO STUDY. 400 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,300 - WE NEED TO BE IN A RELAXED STATE 401 00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:11,400 IN ORDER TO SOAK UP THE INFORMATION. 402 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,630 YOU KNOW, STUDIES SHOW WE SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE OUR SHIRTS OFF. 403 00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:21,067 - AH! 404 00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:22,697 WHOA. WET T-SHIRT CONTEST. 405 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:23,970 - GROW UP. 406 00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:25,827 LET'S GO TO MY BEDROOM SO I CAN CHANGE. 407 00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:27,103 - [laughs] I'LL RACE YA. 408 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,970 - BALLS. 409 00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:37,327 BALLS. 410 00:14:37,333 --> 00:14:40,903 [leaf blower whirring] 411 00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:44,470 - [gasps] HOW BEAUTIFUL. 412 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,867 - [quietly] BALLS. 413 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,070 - AH! OOF! 414 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,227 - IF YOU SMELL SOMETHING, IT'S NOT ME. 415 00:14:56,233 --> 00:14:58,903 LITTLE SLIPPERY SHRIMP SLIPPED DOWN THERE EARLIER. 416 00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,570 - A LITTLE MOOD LIGHTING, 417 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,797 SOME "POUND SOUNDS," AND IF YOU GET HUNGRY... 418 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,800 MY SEX MIX, CHEX MIX. 419 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,200 IT'S GOT CRAISINS. MMM. 420 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,470 - YOU HAD ME AT "POUND SOUNDS." 421 00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:12,527 [imitating cell phone ring] 422 00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:13,803 - OH, IS THAT MY PHONE? 423 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,270 HELLO? OH, MY GOD. 424 00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:17,167 MY SON MONDO IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK? 425 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:20,197 I SHOULD STOP WHAT I'M DOING NO MATTER HOW EROTIC IT MAY BE? 426 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,200 YEAH, OKAY. 427 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,430 ALL RIGHT, SORRY. I GOTTA GO. 428 00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:24,673 [TV powers on] 429 00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:26,727 - [over TV] I'M GOING TO JERSEY SHORE, BITCH! 430 00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:27,733 - I HOPE HER KID'S OKAY. 431 00:15:27,733 --> 00:15:29,203 OH! 432 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,830 - I THINK WE BOTH ENTERED THIS THREESOME UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. 433 00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,303 BUT I DID TAKE A WHOLE FLIGHT OF STAIRS, 434 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:36,270 AND YOU'RE OUT 36 BUCKS ON DRINKS SO... 435 00:15:36,267 --> 00:15:38,127 [bed creaking] 436 00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:40,233 LET'S DO THIS THING. 437 00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,473 - [screams] 438 00:15:41,467 --> 00:15:44,967 - OH, AND YOU SHOULD REALLY HAVE A SAFE WORD. 439 00:15:44,967 --> 00:15:47,697 - AH! 440 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,530 - [sighs] DOES THIS HAVE SOMETHING 441 00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:51,073 TO DO WITH CHIPMUNKING? 442 00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:52,367 - BE PATIENT. 443 00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:53,697 THE TIME WILL COME. 444 00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:54,800 IN THE MEANTIME, HERE. 445 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,330 TAKE YOUR SWORDS. 446 00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:57,633 - NO! 447 00:15:57,633 --> 00:16:00,203 WADSKA, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SUCH A SPAZ? 448 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,930 CAN'T WE JUST WATCH A MOVIE, OR MAKE CRANK CALLS, 449 00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:04,633 OR BREAK INTO YOUR PARENTS' LIQUOR CABINET, 450 00:16:04,633 --> 00:16:08,133 AND STEAL THEIR CAR LIKE OTHER NORMAL TEENAGE KIDS? 451 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,333 - OKAY. WOW. 452 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,873 I MEAN, COULD HAVE DONE ALL THE NORMAL STUFF, 453 00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:13,527 BUT I WANTED TONIGHT TO BE EXTRA SPECIAL. 454 00:16:13,533 --> 00:16:17,073 I PROGRAMMED EVERY EVENT BASED ON YOUR PERSONAL INTERESTS. 455 00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:18,497 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 456 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:21,070 I GOT SHOT IN THE FACE WITH A PAINTBALL. 457 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,397 - [groans] WHAT AM I TALKING-- 458 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,430 YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE IS AVATAR. 459 00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:27,273 ANYONE CAN WATCH IT! I LET YOU LIVE IT. 460 00:16:27,267 --> 00:16:31,367 SHOT LIKE A NA'VI TRYING TO PROTECT HIS TREE OF SOULS. 461 00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:32,497 AND YOU... 462 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:35,070 YOUR FAVORITE GORE FRANCHISE IS SAW. 463 00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:37,927 - BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BUCKET FULL OF BUGS AND WORMS? 464 00:16:37,933 --> 00:16:41,633 - THEY'RE GUMMI WORMS. IT'S YOUR FAVORITE CANDY. 465 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,303 - THIS ONE'S SO LIFELIKE. 466 00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:44,800 - I'LL TAKE THAT. THANK YOU. 467 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,100 - WHOA, I GUESS WE MISJUDGED YOU, BRO. 468 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,970 - YEAH, YOU'RE NOT REALLY THAT CREEPY AFTER ALL. 469 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,427 - ALL I DO... 470 00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:54,933 * I DO FOR YOU * 471 00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:57,133 - AND WE'RE RIGHT BACK TO CREEPY. 472 00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,773 - DULY NOTED. 473 00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:01,427 [swords clang] 474 00:17:01,433 --> 00:17:02,833 - WAIT, GUYS. SHUSH. 475 00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:04,973 [passionate moaning] - OH, YEAH! 476 00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:08,467 - EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT. 477 00:17:08,467 --> 00:17:10,597 OH, HA-HA! 478 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,700 - MONDO! 479 00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:12,900 - OH, I'M SORRY. I HEARD SCREAMING. 480 00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,900 I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU WERE IN DANGER, SO I... 481 00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:18,800 SHOT YOU WITH PAINTBALLS. 482 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:19,870 WHERE IS TURK? 483 00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:21,497 - HE LEFT A WHILE AGO. 484 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,300 HE DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO STUDY. 485 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:25,370 HE DIDN'T EVEN BRING ANY BOOKS. 486 00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:27,497 ONLY THIS PORN VIDEO. 487 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,470 I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE OF THESE BEFORE. 488 00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:30,567 HAVE YOU? 489 00:17:30,567 --> 00:17:32,097 - UH, NO. NOT REALLY. 490 00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:33,500 WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE. 491 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:34,870 I'VE WATCHED ONE FOR, LIKE, A MINUTE. 492 00:17:34,867 --> 00:17:36,067 WELL, I MEAN, I WATCHED MORE THAN A MINUTE. 493 00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,497 I CAN WATCH FOR HOURS SOMETIMES. 494 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,070 UH, I DON'T MEAN I WATCH PORN FOR HOURS. 495 00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:40,467 YOU'RE TWISTING MY WORDS. 496 00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:41,767 - [giggles] 497 00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:44,067 I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT THE BIG FUSS WAS ABOUT. 498 00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:46,867 BUT I FEEL LIKE A PERV WATCHING IT ALONE. 499 00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:49,067 DO YOU WANNA WATCH WITH ME? 500 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:52,127 - AH, YEAH. SURE. 501 00:17:52,133 --> 00:17:54,403 [animalistic moaning] GROSS. 502 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,870 THERE'S NO STORY WHATSOEVER. 503 00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:57,067 THEY'RE JUST GOING FOR SHOCK VALUE. 504 00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:58,397 - OH, NO. I PAUSED IT. 505 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,170 THIS IS FAMILY GUY. 506 00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:03,327 [groovy music] 507 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,833 RELAX. 508 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:10,173 COME UP HERE. 509 00:18:10,167 --> 00:18:12,067 - [laughs nervously] OOPSIE. 510 00:18:15,933 --> 00:18:17,903 - ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS? 511 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:20,070 - YES. I MEAN, NO. 512 00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:21,567 OF COURSE NOT. NO, NO, NO. 513 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,427 I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE MORE FUN? 514 00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:24,673 [clears throat] 515 00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,697 [as man on TV] EXCUSE ME MA'AM. PANTS DETECTIVE. 516 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:28,400 IT SEEMS YOUR PANTS HAVE GONE MISSING. 517 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,700 - [laughs] 518 00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:31,870 [as woman on TV] WHY, YES, I KEEP TOUCHING MYSELF 519 00:18:31,867 --> 00:18:34,367 TO CHECK, BUT THEY'RE STILL GONE. 520 00:18:34,367 --> 00:18:35,927 [laughter] 521 00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:38,103 - [as man on TV] ALSO, I BROUGHT YOU A PIZZA. 522 00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,600 - [as woman on TV] IT SHOULD BE FREE. 523 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,770 IT TOOK MORE THAN A HALF HOUR, AND THERE'S A PENIS IN IT. 524 00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:44,167 [laughter] 525 00:18:44,167 --> 00:18:46,727 - [as man on TV] AH, MA'AM, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ME 526 00:18:46,733 --> 00:18:47,903 WITH ORAL SEX. 527 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:51,270 I ACCEPT CASH, CREDIT CARDS, AND REGULAR SEX. 528 00:18:51,267 --> 00:18:54,397 [laughter] 529 00:19:01,533 --> 00:19:02,803 - [on walkie-talkie] BEST FRIEND NUMBER TWO, 530 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:03,970 THIS IS BEST FRIEND NUMBER ONE. 531 00:19:03,967 --> 00:19:06,267 CLOSING CEREMONIES ARE ABOUT TO COMMENCE. 532 00:19:06,267 --> 00:19:07,527 WHAT'S YOUR 20? 533 00:19:07,533 --> 00:19:10,503 - WOW, HE GAVE YOU THE "BEST FRIEND" WALKIES. 534 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,270 HE'S HAD THEM FOR, LIKE, EIGHT YEARS, 535 00:19:12,267 --> 00:19:14,367 AND YOU'RE THE FIRST FRIENDS HE'S HAD OVER TO USE THEM. 536 00:19:14,367 --> 00:19:16,197 - OH, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 537 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,400 - YEAH, YOU GUYS MUST MEAN A LOT TO HIM. 538 00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:22,967 - BEST FRIEND NUMBER TWO TO BEST FRIEND NUMBER ONE. 539 00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:24,497 I'M FLYING IN. 540 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:27,630 AH, THAT WAS THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD PLAYING "PORNEOKE." 541 00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,803 - [chuckles] 542 00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:36,967 [triumphant music] 543 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:40,197 - OKAY, WELCOME TO THE CLOSING CEREMONIES OF THE 544 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:44,270 THREE-WAY-SLEEP-DATE-MAN- LOVE-FEST! 545 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:47,267 ALSO KNOWN AS THE EVERYDAY AVERAGE DUDES' SLUMBER-BANG. 546 00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:48,667 - CLOSE ENOUGH. 547 00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:50,927 - AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, 548 00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:52,073 CHIPMUNKING! 549 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:54,227 - FINALLY! - COOL. 550 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:55,373 WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING? 551 00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:57,367 - HUMAN BEINGS DON'T BEND THAT WAY. 552 00:19:57,367 --> 00:19:59,367 - OH, MY GOD! GET THOSE OUT OF THERE! 553 00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:02,467 - WHAT'S HAPPENING? [both screaming] 554 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:05,227 - SO HOW DID THINGS WORK OUT WITH JEENA LAST NIGHT? 555 00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:07,403 - AWESOME. WE WATCHED PORN TOGETHER. 556 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,900 - SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE LAYING THE FOUNDATION 557 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:10,800 TO A GREAT RELATIONSHIP. 558 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,000 SO WHAT ELSE DID YOU GUYS DO? 559 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,670 - WELL, I WATCHED A LITTLE WEIRD DUDE 560 00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:15,027 STUFF HIS NUTS IN HIS MOUTH. 561 00:20:15,033 --> 00:20:17,773 - OH, YEAH. CHIPMUNKING. 562 00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:20,097 - SO...WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? 563 00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:22,030 - AH, NOTHING MUCH. IT WAS A QUIET NIGHT. 564 00:20:22,033 --> 00:20:23,203 [door slams open] 565 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:27,170 - YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BURN THAT MATTRESS. 566 00:20:27,167 --> 00:20:29,727 - THEY'RE SO LADYLIKE. 567 00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:30,973 - OKAY, DUDE. THAT'S ENOUGH. 568 00:20:30,967 --> 00:20:33,097 - DON'T MAKE THIS WEIRD FOR ME. 569 00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,200 - UH-UH. 570 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,730 I NEVER AGREED TO THE GERMAN CIGARETTE. 571 00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:36,903 - YAH. - NEIN. 572 00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:38,830 - YAH. - NEIN! 573 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:43,430 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40220

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