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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:04,269 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:06,105 --> 00:00:08,105 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,812 Arliss: For most of us, 4 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,150 the dream of becoming a champion, 5 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:17,646 remains a fantasy. 6 00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:20,585 But for a special few, 7 00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:23,063 it is very much a reality. 8 00:00:23,122 --> 00:00:24,362 We cheer them. 9 00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:25,964 We live through them. 10 00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:29,095 Athletes are our last warriors. 11 00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:32,632 My job is to make their dreams come true. 12 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,129 (theme song plays) 13 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,170 My name is Arliss Michaels. 14 00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,396 I represent athletes. 15 00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:39,641 These are my stories. 16 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:43,336 ♪ Don't know what it is that makes me love you so ♪ 17 00:00:43,409 --> 00:00:46,879 ♪ I only know I never wanna let you go ♪ 18 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:50,516 ♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪ 19 00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:54,023 ♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪ 20 00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:57,617 ♪ It happens to be true ♪ 21 00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:01,260 ♪ I only wanna be with you ♪ 22 00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:04,797 ♪ I just wanna be beside you everywhere ♪ 23 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:08,644 ♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care ♪ 24 00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:12,011 ♪ 'Cause you started something, oh, can't you see ♪ 25 00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:15,681 ♪ That ever since we met you had a hold on me ♪ 26 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:19,152 ♪ No matter what you do ♪ 27 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:22,982 ♪ I only wanna be with you ♪ 28 00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:26,787 ♪ ♪ 29 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,758 This one's a synchronized swimmer. 30 00:01:30,823 --> 00:01:31,823 Watch. 31 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:37,263 (Blue Danube Waltz plays) 32 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,195 Good lord. 33 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,300 Are those real? 34 00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:44,168 No, but they keep her afloat. 35 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:45,437 (sigh) 36 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,765 So, uh, what's your video tally now? 37 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,780 You got a skier, a gymnast, a triathlete. 38 00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:53,083 And don't forget the goalie. 39 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,146 Oh! 40 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,380 The goalie! The goalie! 41 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,278 Ah! Hoo hoo... 42 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,620 Watch this. 43 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,649 No! Way. 44 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,320 I don't do charity for free. 45 00:02:02,388 --> 00:02:03,658 It's not for free. 46 00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,123 You'll get your usual quote. 47 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,491 Really? $10,000? 48 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:07,859 Yes! 49 00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:08,957 Of course, it is expected 50 00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:10,458 that you sign the money over to WHO. 51 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:11,760 Sign it over to what? 52 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:13,301 Not what. "WHO." 53 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:15,636 "We Have Overcome." 54 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,472 They use role models to inspire people 55 00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:19,967 to overcome a diversity of obstacles. 56 00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:22,179 Addiction, domestic abuse... 57 00:02:22,241 --> 00:02:23,781 Tell WHO, no. 58 00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:25,383 Those people depress me. 59 00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:27,605 Arliss, they lost their keynote speaker. 60 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,050 I promised them a replacement. 61 00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:30,145 Why me? 62 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,446 Because it's in two days! 63 00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:33,217 Oh, you can do this with your eyes shut. 64 00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:34,586 No one bullshits better than you. 65 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:35,764 - (drops pen) - ♪ ♪ 66 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:36,962 Hey, I don't bullshit. 67 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,423 I motivate. 68 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:39,491 Eh, tomayto, tomahto. 69 00:02:39,525 --> 00:02:40,625 No, there's a difference. 70 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:43,063 To bullshit is to make people feel comfortable. 71 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:45,429 To motivate is to make 'em feel confident. 72 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,978 Can't you motivate yourself to do this? 73 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,770 Not a chance! 74 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:49,995 Hey, wait a second! 75 00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:52,439 No, what's on second. Who's on first. 76 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,835 I don't know, third base! 77 00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:56,381 (Blue Danube Waltz plays) 78 00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:57,782 (both humming, groaning) 79 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:58,854 (door opens) 80 00:02:58,911 --> 00:03:00,281 Kirby, what time is the... 81 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,760 Kirby, do these women know they're being taped? 82 00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,315 Did Little Red Riding Hood 83 00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:10,157 know that the Big Bad Wolf was under the quilt? 84 00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:12,093 I don't want this tape in the office. 85 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,268 If what you're doing gets out, 86 00:03:13,292 --> 00:03:15,202 it could be pretty goddamn embarrassing, don't you think? 87 00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,628 It's not gonna get out. 88 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,966 The camera is hidden in my bedroom clock. 89 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,132 Nobody knows. 90 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,199 (door opens) 91 00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:22,444 Rita: Arliss, I'm coming to you, 92 00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:24,868 arms open, asking for a favor. 93 00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,542 I'm not budging until you say yes! 94 00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:29,077 These people need you to come. 95 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,712 (music ends, tape ejects) 96 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:32,778 What's going on? 97 00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:33,882 All: Nothing! 98 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,581 Arliss, you might not be able to see them 99 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:38,519 through the tinted glass of your luxury sedan, 100 00:03:38,584 --> 00:03:40,894 but there are people out there 101 00:03:40,953 --> 00:03:42,523 who have it harder than you do. 102 00:03:42,588 --> 00:03:43,918 And they... 103 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,264 (imitates violin) 104 00:03:45,324 --> 00:03:46,324 Excuse me! 105 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:47,689 No, we excuse them, 106 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,460 and it's Phil Donahue's fault! 107 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:50,729 His show launched the, 108 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:54,397 "Ooh, I'm a, I'm a victim support-group," crowd. 109 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,737 Feh! It's the last refuge of the weak and lazy. 110 00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,773 (phone rings) 111 00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:00,772 Kirby Carlisle. 112 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,037 Stanley, you're an asshole. Ah! 113 00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,138 But, a well-adjusted one. 114 00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,709 Boss, it's Steve Mariucci. 115 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:05,777 ♪ ♪ 116 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,984 Mooch! How's the guru of the gridiron? 117 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,550 Arliss, where the hell is Tyler? 118 00:04:12,618 --> 00:04:14,188 About an hour outside of San Antonio? 119 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,723 Tyler Harris, you idiot. 120 00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:18,989 My left tackle, your client. 121 00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:20,588 Oh, didn't Rita tell you? 122 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,240 Uh, Tyler was just rushed to the dentist. 123 00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:24,061 Abscessed tooth, uh, running a fever! 124 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,970 Oh no, you're not gonna help me, I'm not gonna help you. 125 00:04:25,998 --> 00:04:28,228 Gimme that phone! Gimme that! No! No! 126 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:29,501 Steve, it's the truth, honest! 127 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:30,535 Okay, I'll do it! 128 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:31,710 Steve: sick of this crap, Arliss. 129 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:33,048 But, I'm not signing over the check. 130 00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:34,322 - Steve: You hear me? - (inaudible) 131 00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,650 Hey, Arliss, you better get Tyler's butt up here right now. 132 00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:38,706 No problem, Steve. (chuckling) 133 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,788 He'll be there as soon as his temperature comes down. 134 00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:43,023 (running water) 135 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,151 He was my first coach. 136 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,160 He taught me the basics. 137 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,662 There's not a day that goes by 138 00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:52,793 where I don't think about him. 139 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,359 (sigh) 140 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:55,697 I understand. 141 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:56,862 (sigh) 142 00:04:56,929 --> 00:04:59,069 Perhaps some fresh air will help you grieve. 143 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,732 No. There's more. 144 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,541 Well, what I do now? Who do I talk to? 145 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,143 Me. 146 00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:06,204 Talk to me. 147 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,369 That's what I'm here for. 148 00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:09,484 How much more? 149 00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,376 When he was my coach, he... 150 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:13,445 he touched me. 151 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:16,123 Well, that's what a good coach does. 152 00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,222 Let's celebrate him. 153 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,223 Toast his memory! 154 00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:19,354 You don't understand. 155 00:05:19,418 --> 00:05:20,818 In the locker room... 156 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,491 He touched me. 157 00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:25,216 ♪ ♪ 158 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,991 Touched you, as in... 159 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,065 Tyler, I'm sorry. 160 00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:37,001 I didn't do what I had to do. 161 00:05:37,069 --> 00:05:38,649 I didn't do what the doctor told me to do. 162 00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:39,671 I never... 163 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:41,873 Confronted him. 164 00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,775 And Coach Mariucci, he... 165 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,514 He wants me to play. 166 00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:48,379 I can't play. I can't even move. 167 00:05:50,082 --> 00:05:51,652 Tyler, let me tell you a story. 168 00:05:51,717 --> 00:05:52,847 (sigh) 169 00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:55,589 In 1966, a young man... 170 00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:56,955 "Man." A young boy 171 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,863 went to sleepaway camp for the first time. 172 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,459 At first, he adjusted well, 173 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,057 but he suffered from... 174 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:05,870 enuresis. 175 00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:08,432 Which is otherwise 176 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,201 known as bed wetting. 177 00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:13,750 Wetting the bed with the other kids around was traumatic enough, 178 00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:17,113 but there was this one counselor named Uncle Artie. 179 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:21,106 And every afternoon, that son of a bitch Uncle Artie 180 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:23,680 would gather all the kids around the flag pole. 181 00:06:23,749 --> 00:06:27,089 And they'd look up and there, flapping in the breeze, 182 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:29,463 was this boy's urine-soaked sheets. 183 00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:35,929 That boy's name was Arliss Michaels. 184 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,525 Arliss? 185 00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:39,127 You were a bedwetter? 186 00:06:40,132 --> 00:06:41,272 Damn. 187 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:44,274 Years later, after I overcame the problem, 188 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:46,237 I went to go confront Uncle Artie, 189 00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:47,735 to get closure, but... 190 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,435 he disappeared, gone. 191 00:06:50,509 --> 00:06:52,609 I even hired private detectives to track him down, 192 00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:54,078 but they came up empty. 193 00:06:54,146 --> 00:06:55,546 So, you never confronted him? 194 00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:57,849 No, I never got to. 195 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,321 But, you know what? 196 00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:02,116 It didn't matter. 197 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,588 I beat him by becoming the man I am today. 198 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,058 You see, Tyler, 199 00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:08,756 you can't change the past, 200 00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:10,928 but you can use it to forge the future. 201 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:11,997 Forge the future. 202 00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:13,371 Sure humiliation's painful, 203 00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:14,582 but there's a difference between 204 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,500 - pain and injury. - Big difference. 205 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:17,899 I wasn't gonna let the abuser win, 206 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:18,970 and neither will you! 207 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,405 Damn right! 208 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:21,613 - Yeah, baby. - No way! 209 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:23,684 No fucking way! Yes, yes! 210 00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:26,013 Why do I have a shrink when I have you for an agent? 211 00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:27,908 (running water) 212 00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:28,980 You hot? 213 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:33,847 (workout music) 214 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,920 (indistinct chatter) 215 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:43,296 Tony, I can't believe you're into all of this. 216 00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:44,362 Are you kidding? 217 00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:45,800 I love body building. 218 00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,465 Sport takes discipline. 219 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,673 Besides... 220 00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:51,344 Who knows more about tight ends than a tight end? 221 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,314 Jack: Wow, I can't believe what I'm seeing! 222 00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:55,812 Look at these women, I, just... incredible. 223 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,115 When I first started my business, 224 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,683 boy, the women didn't look like this. 225 00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,884 Tony, meet the originator, 226 00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:03,817 the inaugurator of all that you see here. 227 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,753 This is the great Jack La Lanne. 228 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,348 And I'm trying to be humble. 229 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,430 Nice to meet you, Mr. La Lanne. 230 00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:09,494 Tony Gonzales! 231 00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:11,325 Listen, this is really a pleasure meeting you. 232 00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:12,587 Tell me something. 233 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,858 Is it true that you swam a mile and a half 234 00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:17,297 towing 70 boats when you were 7 years old? 235 00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:19,703 Absolutely, and my hands and feet were shackled. 236 00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:21,175 Shackled? What'd you have in the boat, 237 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,200 illegal aliens? 238 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:23,938 Listen, you smart gluteus maximus, 239 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,843 get down there, let's do some push-ups. 240 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:26,975 Let me see you do 50 push-ups. 241 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,006 Right now, c'mon. 242 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,010 (music continues) 243 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,907 Oh, c'mon, those are sissy push-ups. 244 00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,909 I'm gonna show you how they're really done. 245 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,221 No, straighten your arms. 246 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,482 Arms out in front of you. 247 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,120 Just put your arms out in front. 248 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,185 Hey, I want in on this. 249 00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:41,389 Me, too. 250 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:42,894 (scoffs) Ladies, I think you're kinda 251 00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:44,055 outta your league here. 252 00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:45,163 I mean, Jack La Lanne 253 00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:47,294 is the world record holder in push-ups. 254 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,360 What do you think? 255 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:50,204 Female bodybuilders aren't athletes? 256 00:08:50,262 --> 00:08:51,762 C'mon, let's show him. 257 00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,309 A bodybuilder... 258 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:07,679 (computer beeps) 259 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:08,783 Arliss: Stanley! 260 00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,118 Stanley, you got a minute? 261 00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:11,982 Oh! I'm, uh, I'm pretty busy. 262 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,991 I'm in the middle of a quarterly report. 263 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:15,923 Look, I wanna run this speech by you. 264 00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:17,618 Is it for Rita's benefit? 265 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:18,820 Spare me. 266 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,561 Hey, I'm getting my usual 10k fee. 267 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,496 Now, bear with me. I gotta tread lightly. 268 00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:24,131 Some of those people are fucked up. 269 00:09:24,196 --> 00:09:25,196 Wrong! 270 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,831 All of those people are fucked up. 271 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:27,899 If I were you, 272 00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:30,173 I would tell them to get their shit together, 273 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,896 get a job, and then get lost. 274 00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:34,611 I'll make sure you're the keynote speaker next year. 275 00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:36,783 (phone rings) 276 00:09:37,943 --> 00:09:39,483 - Hello. - (beep) 277 00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,675 Tyler: Arliss. 278 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,246 Tyler, are, are you at practice? 279 00:09:42,314 --> 00:09:43,314 Just got through. 280 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:45,449 Coach says the best workout I had in weeks. 281 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,388 - Thanks, Arliss. - Glad I could help. 282 00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:48,853 Now, I have to return the favor. 283 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,591 - I found him. - Found who? 284 00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,386 Uncle Artie from Camp Winotonka! 285 00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:54,358 Your private detectives weren't very good. 286 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,757 He lives in El Segundo. 287 00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:57,028 El Segundo? 288 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,096 I'm coming over. 289 00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,600 I'll take you to him right now. 290 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:01,595 Uh, Tyler, 291 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:02,967 now's not a good time. 292 00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:04,595 No, you put this off too long. 293 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,440 You're going now! 294 00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:08,740 Un... 295 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:09,774 believable. 296 00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:10,809 What? 297 00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:13,076 Tyler Harris tracks down one of my old camp counselors. 298 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:14,405 Now, I gotta go meet him. 299 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,320 How the hell did he even know where I went to camp? 300 00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:17,348 I told him. 301 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,353 ♪ ♪ 302 00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:22,757 You? 303 00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:24,992 Well, Tyler called this morning and asked me if I knew 304 00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:26,827 where you went to camp as a boy. 305 00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:27,932 And you told him!? 306 00:10:27,993 --> 00:10:29,203 Yeah, why not? 307 00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,901 Was it classified under the Freedom of Camp Winotonka Act? 308 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,704 (chuckling) Oh, shit! 309 00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,596 (sigh) 310 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,998 Last night, Tyler told me how his high school coach, 311 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,340 "touched him," and how he never got to confront him. 312 00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,776 So, I make up some story about how Uncle Artie teased me 313 00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:45,182 about wetting my bunk, and I never got to confront him. 314 00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:46,814 Arliss... 315 00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:49,949 You compared molestation to bedwetting? 316 00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:51,015 Brilliant! 317 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,050 So, what do I do now? 318 00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:53,554 I can't tell Tyler it's bullshit. 319 00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:55,459 Oh, what the hell'd you have to open your big mouth for? 320 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,028 Don't blame me, you're the one who lied! 321 00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:58,056 I motivated! 322 00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,730 Tyler's ass is back on the field, 323 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,292 and Mariucci is off my back. 324 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,530 And you're off to see Uncle Artie. 325 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,696 No, we're off to see Uncle Artie! 326 00:11:05,764 --> 00:11:07,174 Me? Why me? 327 00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,973 Diversity! 328 00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:10,244 Red nine on the black 10. 329 00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,544 How'd that get there? 330 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:17,108 (straining) 331 00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:18,613 Need a hand? 332 00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:20,447 My friends call me the Human Can Opener. 333 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,513 (lid pops) 334 00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:22,547 Thanks. 335 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,021 You're welcome. 336 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,223 I'm Cheryl Masters, and I'm looking for Kirby Carlisle. 337 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:27,785 Well, I'm Rita Wu, 338 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,523 and you are in amazing shape. 339 00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:32,529 Thanks, I appreciate that. 340 00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:33,931 Some women find me kinda scary. 341 00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:35,393 Oh, they're just jealous. 342 00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:36,561 Rita. 343 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,569 Stanley and I are gonna go out of the office for a while. 344 00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:39,597 Um... Oh, hi. 345 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:42,572 Oh! Arliss, this is Cheryl Masters. She's wait... 346 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:43,635 Hey! 347 00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:44,769 Oh, I was just calling you. 348 00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:48,137 Well, I see you've all met Cheryl. She's a... 349 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,207 bodybuilder. 350 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,235 A bodybuilder? 351 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,950 Yes... 352 00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:54,946 You hungry? 353 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:56,080 Starved. 354 00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:57,148 Nice meeting you all. 355 00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:58,183 Rita: Same here. 356 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,687 Lights, camera... 357 00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,152 Action! 358 00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:04,018 (phone rings) 359 00:12:04,089 --> 00:12:05,089 Oo... 360 00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:06,734 Rita: Rita Wu. (indistinct) 361 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:09,062 One moment. 362 00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,198 It's Tyler Harris. He's waiting downstairs. 363 00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:14,603 ♪ ♪ 364 00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:24,712 That's his place, Arliss. 365 00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:26,187 Do you want us to go in there with you? 366 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,912 Yes, let's all go in together. 367 00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:30,720 No, I, I think it's best if I go in alone. 368 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:33,423 Go in there and tell him exactly how you feel. 369 00:12:33,485 --> 00:12:34,485 Feel? 370 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,790 About what? 371 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:45,896 There goes a brave man. 372 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,495 A-ha! 373 00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:53,073 (rings doorbell) 374 00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:57,775 (rings doorbell) 375 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,178 Nobody home! 376 00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:05,850 Uncle Artie? 377 00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:08,446 Who wants to know? 378 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,760 I'm, uh, Arliss Michaels. 379 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,793 You were my counselor at Camp Winotonka. 380 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,862 Little Arly Michaels? 381 00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:17,328 The sound sleeper? 382 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:19,974 Come in. 383 00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:27,868 Sugar? 384 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,340 Uh, sure. 385 00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:32,278 So, uh, 1966. Long time ago. 386 00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:34,514 Camp Winotonka. (chuckle) 387 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:35,850 Walla-wah-oo! 388 00:13:35,914 --> 00:13:37,224 So, what do you do for a living? 389 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,023 Oh! (laughs) 390 00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:41,054 I'm a sports agent. 391 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,020 Arliss Michaels in sports? 392 00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:44,718 You couldn't swing a bat! 393 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:46,724 (snicker) 394 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,729 And if my memory serves me right, 395 00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:51,764 you made a hell of a macaroni ashtray. 396 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,930 Ah. Arts and crafts, that was me. 397 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,799 Anything not to swim, that's you. 398 00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,498 Hey, that lake was freezing! 399 00:13:57,569 --> 00:13:59,709 And you, how's life been treating you? 400 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,242 Truth? 401 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:03,637 I had a few rough years after prison. 402 00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:05,039 Then things kinda settled down. 403 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,550 ♪ ♪ 404 00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:08,613 Prison? 405 00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:11,482 What were you doing in prison? 406 00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,091 That's why you're here, right? 407 00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:17,124 I'm not following. 408 00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:19,889 I'm a registered sex offender. 409 00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:21,488 Isn't that how you found me? 410 00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:23,494 No... 411 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,199 It's not. 412 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,332 Oh. 413 00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,904 I'm glad you came. 414 00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:34,568 I need to apologize to you. 415 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,281 For what? 416 00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:49,785 (lounge music) 417 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:53,524 Thank you. 418 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,599 Well, that is some appetite you have there. 419 00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:57,862 Told you I was hungry. 420 00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:01,934 My workouts burn about 2,000 calories. 421 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,970 I need fuel for the machine. 422 00:15:04,036 --> 00:15:08,066 Complex amino acids, enzymes. 423 00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,640 You wanna compete in my world, you gotta go all the way. 424 00:15:11,643 --> 00:15:13,413 You are unreal. 425 00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:16,777 So, how come you asked me out? 426 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:17,879 I'm curious. 427 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:19,550 So am I. 428 00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:22,018 (chuckle) You don't think I'm weird? 429 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:25,257 You couldn't be weird enough for old Kirbs. 430 00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:28,955 You say all the right things. 431 00:15:29,027 --> 00:15:31,597 Ah. You make it easy. 432 00:15:31,663 --> 00:15:32,663 Dessert? 433 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:34,298 Yes, but... 434 00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,000 not here. 435 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,312 (soft laugh) 436 00:15:42,307 --> 00:15:44,737 Cheryl: Harder, harder. You're a bear. 437 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:45,810 Kirby: Who's a bear? 438 00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:46,884 You're a bear. 439 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:47,910 Ah, who's a bear? 440 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,420 You're the bear. 441 00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:51,081 ♪ ♪ 442 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,150 Ooh! Oh! 443 00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:54,318 Ah! 444 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:56,456 (continued moaning) 445 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,022 Ooh! Ah! 446 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,594 Woohoo, baby! 447 00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:01,939 Yehaw... Back, back, back, back! 448 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,664 Woo, ye-hoo! 449 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:05,759 (imitates gunshots) 450 00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,001 Kirby: Yeah! 451 00:16:07,065 --> 00:16:10,635 (both moaning) 452 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:14,668 Oh, yeah, man! Ho! 453 00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:19,612 (both moaning) 454 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:20,888 - (cartoon spring sound) - (thud) 455 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,483 (moaning and yelling) 456 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,078 Harder, harder. 457 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,919 Oh! Oh! 458 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,150 Ooh! Ooh! 459 00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:31,161 (laughing) Yes! 460 00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:33,033 Wow, wow! 461 00:16:33,091 --> 00:16:34,991 Wow. (laughs) 462 00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,760 You are a machine. 463 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,699 Let me just catch my breath, I'll be ready for round two. 464 00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:40,765 (panting) 465 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:41,833 You're not too tired? 466 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,740 Ah! Woo! Hell, no. 467 00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:44,802 (growls) Let's... 468 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,097 Good. 469 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,451 I need to use the little girls' room. 470 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,143 Okay, yeah. 471 00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:50,208 Hoo! 472 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,277 (fireplace crackles) 473 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:55,847 (door closes) 474 00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:57,881 ♪ ♪ 475 00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,162 (tape ejects) 476 00:17:19,137 --> 00:17:20,237 Ooh, 477 00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:21,605 nice. 478 00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:24,908 (giggling) You ready? 479 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,077 Just about. 480 00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:28,705 Want a little oil massage? 481 00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:30,280 Oh, I want everything 482 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:32,119 you've got to give. 483 00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,923 Ooh! Hoo hoo... 484 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:37,989 Yeah. 485 00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:40,393 I like that, don't stop. 486 00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:41,629 Don't worry. 487 00:17:41,693 --> 00:17:42,693 (laughing) 488 00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:45,862 Oh ho ho! Little freaky. 489 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,531 Yeah, I like this. 490 00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:49,429 I thought you might. 491 00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:53,136 Ooh. All the nooks and crannies, huh? 492 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,205 (laughing) 493 00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,641 Just trying to make things easy. 494 00:17:57,709 --> 00:17:58,709 Okay. 495 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,714 (giggling) 496 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:01,779 What, um...? Oof! 497 00:18:01,813 --> 00:18:02,983 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 498 00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,578 No, no...! 499 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:06,794 (traffic sounds) 500 00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,152 Rita: Arliss is great. 501 00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,520 He's a wonderful motivational speaker. 502 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,519 He speaks all the time. 503 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:13,861 Oh, which reminds me, 504 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,386 you should have his check ready. 505 00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:17,030 (door opens) 506 00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:20,065 ♪ ♪ 507 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:23,667 Y... Yeah, absolutely. 508 00:18:25,203 --> 00:18:26,643 I, I, I can assure you, 509 00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:29,005 it's gonna be a beautiful evening. 510 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:34,006 At 8:00 sharp. See you then. Bye bye. 511 00:18:38,483 --> 00:18:39,423 Jesus. 512 00:18:39,484 --> 00:18:41,154 (panting) 513 00:18:41,219 --> 00:18:42,219 (door opens) 514 00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:43,724 (gasp) That's it! 515 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,089 I'm having Arliss commit you! 516 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:46,287 Close the fucking door! 517 00:18:48,126 --> 00:18:50,056 What you are doing is not normal. 518 00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:51,658 - What are you doing?! - Nothing. 519 00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:52,830 Nothing? 520 00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,278 You honestly think that this is, uh, 521 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,799 acceptable office behavior? 522 00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:56,867 I'm telling Arliss. 523 00:18:56,935 --> 00:18:58,765 - No, you can't! - Yes, I can. 524 00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:00,167 No, you can't. 525 00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:01,808 Give me one good reason why not. 526 00:19:01,873 --> 00:19:03,583 (sigh) 527 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:04,642 Have a seat. 528 00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:07,146 God knows I wish I could. 529 00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:17,364 Arliss, you in here? 530 00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:19,022 Stanley, shut the door. 531 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,096 Stanley, listen, about last night. 532 00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:25,201 You were magnificent! 533 00:19:25,263 --> 00:19:27,903 The way you walked out of Art's house like a zombie. 534 00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:29,936 All quiet on the ride home in Tyler's car. 535 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,242 Oh! I bow to you! 536 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:33,314 Uh, Stanley... 537 00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:34,572 ♪ ♪ 538 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,380 Did you ever have anything 539 00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:39,181 bad happen to you that you weren't aware of? 540 00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:40,514 Like? 541 00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:43,149 Like an event from your past. 542 00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:46,389 You know, like a bad dream? 543 00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:48,486 Only... 544 00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:51,588 it wasn't a dream. 545 00:19:52,891 --> 00:19:54,291 (sputters) Fuck you! 546 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,559 I'm not taking the bait. 547 00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,757 Stanley, I'm trying to tell you something. 548 00:19:57,829 --> 00:19:58,829 Bullshit! 549 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,904 Save it for the bleeding hearts at "WHO." 550 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,366 Let me be surprised. 551 00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:04,635 Coming this fall, 552 00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:07,210 it's the Motivator. 553 00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:08,272 I'll be back! 554 00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:12,044 (laughing) 555 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:17,775 It was blue?! 556 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,591 I've never seen blue. 557 00:20:20,652 --> 00:20:21,722 Royal blue? 558 00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:22,787 Midnight blue? 559 00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:23,821 Baby blue? 560 00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:25,355 Rita, this isn't funny! 561 00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:26,834 Sorry. 562 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:27,892 What did you say to her? 563 00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:30,399 Well, what the hell do you think I said, "nice dildo?" 564 00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:31,932 She acted like everything was fine, 565 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,597 then packed up her equipment and left! 566 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:35,926 Are you gonna tell someone? 567 00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,571 Oh, yeah. 568 00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:39,036 I think I'll go on Oprah, 569 00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:41,774 and I'll tell my story to Dr. Phil! 570 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,840 Or better yet, I think I'll go to the police. 571 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,239 They'll be real sympathetic. 572 00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:47,380 So, tell us what happened, butt boy. 573 00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:49,816 Fuck! I'm a sports agent. 574 00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:51,451 If this story gets out, the only clients 575 00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:53,946 I'll be able to sign will be figure skaters. 576 00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,489 So... 577 00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:56,604 are you gonna see her again? 578 00:20:56,621 --> 00:20:57,761 Fuck, no! 579 00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,263 Maybe in a nightmare! 580 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:01,755 K... Oh, um... 581 00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,027 ♪ ♪ 582 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,225 Rita, would you give us a minute? 583 00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:07,397 I'll talk to you later. 584 00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:08,466 Uh-huh. 585 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,307 Kirby, um, we've known each other a long time. 586 00:21:18,376 --> 00:21:20,186 I mean, if something were to happen to one of us, 587 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:22,212 I mean, the other one would always be there. 588 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,130 I mean, there's nothing that we can't talk about, right? 589 00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:26,819 You eavesdropping motherfucker! 590 00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:28,015 Fuck you! 591 00:21:33,391 --> 00:21:34,961 What's up his ass? 592 00:21:35,026 --> 00:21:36,326 Tsk. 593 00:21:36,394 --> 00:21:37,504 Rita, listen, um, 594 00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:39,372 th... there's something I've gotta get off my chest. 595 00:21:39,397 --> 00:21:40,627 Is it for the benefit tonight? 596 00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:42,429 Well, no. I mean, 597 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:44,638 Maybe. I, I, it's... 598 00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:47,637 I mean, it's not the kind of thing 599 00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:49,706 tha... tha... that you really want... 600 00:21:49,775 --> 00:21:50,875 Save it for tonight. 601 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:55,451 What the fuck is going on here? 602 00:21:57,916 --> 00:21:59,276 Hi, Cheryl. 603 00:21:59,351 --> 00:22:00,551 Oh, hey, Rita. 604 00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:01,619 I brought you that book. 605 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,463 Oh! Thanks. 606 00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:04,862 Is Kirby around? 607 00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:06,023 Um... 608 00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:07,491 Does he know you're coming? 609 00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:09,329 Nah, I wanted to surprise him. 610 00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:11,134 Okay, um... 611 00:22:11,196 --> 00:22:12,996 Maybe we should talk in here for a second. 612 00:22:13,064 --> 00:22:14,674 - Okay, girl talk? - Yeah. 613 00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,138 Cheryl, um... 614 00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:20,137 (closes door) 615 00:22:21,907 --> 00:22:24,077 I don't think Kirby wants to see you again. 616 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,140 Why not? 617 00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:27,551 Well, 618 00:22:27,612 --> 00:22:28,852 he told me about... 619 00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,254 What, we had a great time. 620 00:22:31,316 --> 00:22:34,416 Yeah, I don't think he had such a great time. 621 00:22:34,486 --> 00:22:35,816 He wasn't really into... 622 00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:38,492 you being into... him. 623 00:22:38,557 --> 00:22:39,717 (scoffs) 624 00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:41,531 They always say that at first. 625 00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:43,403 He told me he liked it weird. 626 00:22:43,461 --> 00:22:46,971 Weird to Kirby is purple hair and a pierced nipple, 627 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,332 not being ambushed by molded rubber. 628 00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:51,671 ♪ ♪ 629 00:22:51,736 --> 00:22:53,736 I don't think this is any of your business. 630 00:22:53,805 --> 00:22:55,405 Kirby's my friend. 631 00:22:55,473 --> 00:22:56,843 That makes it my business. 632 00:22:56,908 --> 00:22:58,778 I don't think so. 633 00:23:01,379 --> 00:23:03,109 You don't intimidate me. 634 00:23:03,181 --> 00:23:04,631 Half the people who walk through this office 635 00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:05,649 are bigger than you. 636 00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:07,494 Do you stick your nose into their lives, too? 637 00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:08,862 Do you like pushing people around? 638 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:09,987 Only when people need it. 639 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,415 You know, Kirby said no to you. 640 00:23:11,489 --> 00:23:12,589 Oh, please. 641 00:23:12,657 --> 00:23:13,827 He said no. 642 00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:15,362 Oh, c'mon, Rita. 643 00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:18,057 Haven't you said no when you meant yes? 644 00:23:23,201 --> 00:23:24,601 I think you should leave. 645 00:23:32,444 --> 00:23:33,954 You're all freaks. 646 00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:40,950 (traffic sounds) 647 00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:43,589 When I heard the good people of WHO were giving me 648 00:23:43,655 --> 00:23:45,255 a lifetime achievement award, 649 00:23:45,323 --> 00:23:47,563 I was honored. 650 00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:51,126 But, I had to wonder, should this award go to me? 651 00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:52,926 Or should it go to the young mother 652 00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:56,168 who recently came to see me and said, 653 00:23:56,234 --> 00:23:59,004 "I had my first child when I was 14. 654 00:23:59,070 --> 00:24:00,080 I have lived on the streets..." 655 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,635 Oh, and then I couldn't read 656 00:24:01,706 --> 00:24:03,906 because my abusive alcoholic dog 657 00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:05,205 took a shit on my glasses, 658 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,647 and blah, blah, blah... 659 00:24:06,711 --> 00:24:07,811 Stanley, do you mind? 660 00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:10,581 Some turnout, huh? 661 00:24:11,683 --> 00:24:12,923 Where? 662 00:24:12,984 --> 00:24:14,454 I said, some turnout. 663 00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:15,519 Great. 664 00:24:15,553 --> 00:24:16,623 Where's Kirby? 665 00:24:16,688 --> 00:24:17,988 Oh, um... 666 00:24:19,157 --> 00:24:20,987 He had a personal thing to take care of. 667 00:24:21,059 --> 00:24:22,729 Everything I can to ensure 668 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:24,864 that WHO keeps caring. 669 00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:26,460 Thank you very much. 670 00:24:26,531 --> 00:24:28,831 (applause) 671 00:24:30,368 --> 00:24:31,968 Thank you, Deepak. 672 00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:34,637 Congratulations and namaste. 673 00:24:34,706 --> 00:24:37,006 Ladies and gentlemen, 674 00:24:37,075 --> 00:24:39,005 tonight for our keynote speaker, 675 00:24:39,077 --> 00:24:41,607 we have a man who I am sure 676 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,080 will inspire us all. 677 00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:44,148 Please welcome, 678 00:24:44,215 --> 00:24:46,945 sports agent, Arliss Michaels. 679 00:24:47,018 --> 00:24:48,418 Good luck! 680 00:24:48,486 --> 00:24:49,816 Make it good. 681 00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:51,458 (applause) 682 00:24:53,892 --> 00:24:56,432 You could at least be supportive. Oh, quiet. 683 00:24:57,662 --> 00:24:59,202 Thank you, Rebecca. 684 00:24:59,264 --> 00:25:00,374 (sigh) 685 00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:07,636 Um, I, I, I... When I got this... 686 00:25:08,873 --> 00:25:11,013 opportunity to address the people of WHO, 687 00:25:11,076 --> 00:25:12,406 I accepted because... 688 00:25:14,612 --> 00:25:16,512 I have an important story to tell. 689 00:25:17,615 --> 00:25:18,845 Story about a man who thought 690 00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:20,987 he had life all figured out. 691 00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:22,452 ♪ ♪ 692 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,160 But, then he learned a terrible truth. 693 00:25:25,790 --> 00:25:28,660 That he had been taken advantage of as a young boy, 694 00:25:30,128 --> 00:25:32,198 fondled by someone 695 00:25:32,263 --> 00:25:34,173 in whom he had placed his trust. 696 00:25:34,232 --> 00:25:35,702 (sighing) 697 00:25:35,767 --> 00:25:38,897 Once he came face to face with that ugly revelation, 698 00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:41,840 he realized he had no choice, but... 699 00:25:41,906 --> 00:25:43,106 to deal with it. 700 00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:46,609 Learning this, he could've become bitter, 701 00:25:47,612 --> 00:25:48,712 vindictive, 702 00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,221 but he is not. 703 00:25:51,282 --> 00:25:52,482 He... 704 00:25:52,550 --> 00:25:53,720 overcame. 705 00:25:55,553 --> 00:25:57,193 This is not an easy story to tell. 706 00:25:58,189 --> 00:25:59,589 But, if it helps lighten 707 00:25:59,657 --> 00:26:01,527 one person's burden, it's worth it. 708 00:26:02,927 --> 00:26:05,857 I assure you this man has been changed forever. 709 00:26:05,930 --> 00:26:08,000 This man is stronger now 710 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,266 than he's ever been before. 711 00:26:10,301 --> 00:26:11,671 And this man's name... 712 00:26:13,171 --> 00:26:14,911 is Stanley Babson. 713 00:26:14,973 --> 00:26:15,973 Hee... 714 00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:17,477 (slow music playing) 715 00:26:17,542 --> 00:26:18,592 Stanley, get up and take a bow. 716 00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:20,150 Stanley, please. Please. 717 00:26:20,211 --> 00:26:21,621 Ladies and gentlemen, Stanley Babson. 718 00:26:21,646 --> 00:26:23,076 ♪ ♪ 719 00:26:23,148 --> 00:26:25,048 Stanley, get up and take a bow. You deserve it. 720 00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:26,046 (applause) 721 00:26:26,117 --> 00:26:27,117 C'mon, Stanley. 722 00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:29,222 Arliss: I applaud you, I bow to you. 723 00:26:29,287 --> 00:26:31,487 You spell courage. 724 00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:33,934 Uh... 725 00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:37,757 (chuckling) 726 00:26:37,829 --> 00:26:39,899 (inaudible) 727 00:26:39,964 --> 00:26:43,604 ♪ Sunny summer days that seem ♪ 728 00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:44,668 (chuckling) 729 00:26:44,702 --> 00:26:49,442 ♪ From a distant time ♪ 730 00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:55,482 ♪ I recall I said I love you ♪ 731 00:26:56,481 --> 00:27:02,251 ♪ Under the old oak tree ♪ 732 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,760 ♪ As I look back ♪ 733 00:27:05,824 --> 00:27:08,694 ♪ I see the past ♪ 734 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:14,330 ♪ Will always be with me ♪ 735 00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:20,669 ♪ I remember a sweeter time ♪ 736 00:27:20,738 --> 00:27:22,238 Arliss, you son of a bitch! 737 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:24,407 Oh, c'mon, look how you motivated everyone! 738 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:25,506 I'm proud of you. 739 00:27:25,577 --> 00:27:26,947 - Picture time! - (gasp) 740 00:27:28,246 --> 00:27:29,276 Arliss, great job. 741 00:27:29,347 --> 00:27:30,447 Here's your appearance fee. 742 00:27:30,515 --> 00:27:31,745 Ooh... 743 00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:33,076 $10,000. 744 00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:34,621 Thank you. 745 00:27:34,686 --> 00:27:37,016 Wait a minute, don't you go anywhere, darling. 746 00:27:37,088 --> 00:27:38,088 What are you do... 747 00:27:38,123 --> 00:27:40,563 (music continues) 748 00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:42,155 Don't you dare tell anyone about this. 749 00:27:42,227 --> 00:27:43,597 It'll ruin my reputation. 750 00:27:43,661 --> 00:27:44,801 Not a chance. 751 00:27:44,863 --> 00:27:47,833 ♪ When you said that you love me ♪ 752 00:27:47,899 --> 00:27:50,069 My name is Arliss Michaels. 753 00:27:50,135 --> 00:27:52,295 I represent athletes. 754 00:27:52,370 --> 00:27:54,370 These are my stories. 755 00:27:54,439 --> 00:27:56,809 ♪ I see the past ♪ 756 00:27:56,875 --> 00:28:01,445 ♪ Will always be with me ♪ 757 00:28:03,214 --> 00:28:09,194 ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪ 758 00:28:09,254 --> 00:28:13,124 ♪ Ooh ♪ 759 00:28:14,993 --> 00:28:21,133 ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪ 760 00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:24,969 ♪ Ooh ♪ 761 00:28:26,471 --> 00:28:31,941 ♪ And now you are the only ♪ 762 00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:37,484 ♪ One I'll ever need ♪ 763 00:28:38,483 --> 00:28:41,293 ♪ As I look back ♪ 764 00:28:41,352 --> 00:28:44,792 ♪ I see the past ♪ 765 00:28:44,856 --> 00:28:49,226 ♪ Will always be with me ♪ 766 00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:57,095 ♪ Those sunny summer days that seem ♪ 767 00:28:57,168 --> 00:29:02,338 ♪ From a distant time ♪ 768 00:29:02,407 --> 00:29:08,407 ♪ I recall I said I love you ♪ 769 00:29:08,479 --> 00:29:13,379 ♪ Under the old oak tree ♪ 770 00:29:14,385 --> 00:29:17,215 ♪ As I look back ♪ 771 00:29:17,288 --> 00:29:20,728 ♪ I see the past ♪ 772 00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:25,062 ♪ Will always be with me ♪ 773 00:29:26,064 --> 00:29:27,074 ♪ ♪ 774 00:29:27,124 --> 00:29:31,674 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 50047

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