Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,959
Arliss (narrating):
For most of us,
2
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,020
the dream of
becoming a champion,
3
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:17,382
remains a fantasy.
4
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:18,650
(groans)
5
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,588
But for a special few,
6
00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:23,093
it is very much a reality.
7
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,456
We cheer them,
8
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:25,864
we live through them.
9
00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:28,855
Athletes are our last warriors.
10
00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:32,498
My job is to make
their dreams come true.
11
00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:34,125
(water splashing)
12
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,170
My name is Arliss Michaels,
13
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,436
I represent athletes,
14
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:39,965
these are my stories.
15
00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:43,209
♪ Don't know what it is
that makes me love you so ♪
16
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:46,676
♪ I only know I never
wanna let you go ♪
17
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:50,246
♪ 'Cause you started
something, oh, can't you see ♪
18
00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:54,146
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
19
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:57,620
♪ It happens to be true ♪
20
00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:01,260
♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
21
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:04,797
♪ I just wanna be
beside you everywhere ♪
22
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:08,674
♪ As long as we're
together, honey, I don't care ♪
23
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:12,005
♪ 'Cause you started
something, oh, can't you see ♪
24
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:15,681
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
25
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:19,152
♪ No matter what you do ♪
26
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:22,552
♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
27
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,221
Let's go, let's go, let's go...
28
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:27,756
Arliss (narrating): Of
all God's creatures,
29
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:30,117
the athlete is the
most superstitious.
30
00:01:31,457 --> 00:01:32,527
As an agent,
31
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,602
I tolerate my clients'
quirks and peccadilloes,
32
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:36,732
but personally,
33
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:38,666
I believe it's
all in their head.
34
00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:40,031
Good morning, señor, the usual?
35
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:41,529
Unsalted, small bag.
36
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,071
Beautiful day, no?
37
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,609
Yeah, beautiful day, mañana.
38
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,844
Buen dia.
39
00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:54,109
Hey, you mutt!
40
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,250
Jesus! You mutt!
41
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,145
You almost hit my fish!
42
00:01:57,216 --> 00:02:00,086
You could've killed him,
he's only two years old!
43
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:01,963
You're lucky, you're lucky!
44
00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,491
You're lucky, you're lucky.
45
00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:05,857
Yes, I am.
46
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:11,434
Goldberg, I'm real happy
to hear you say that.
47
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:13,967
You know, kids today want
everything handed to them.
48
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,641
It's a very important lesson.
49
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,014
And what is it, Ginny?
50
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:22,142
In order to win the prize
you have to earn the prize.
51
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,408
Goldberg: That's right.
52
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,276
The student who
sells the most baskets
53
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,145
wins the grand prize.
54
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:30,783
A Cannondale
F-700 mountain bike.
55
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,020
Wow, that's some prize.
56
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:35,486
What was it last year?
Um... snowboard, right?
57
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,755
No, that was the year before.
58
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,294
Last year it was the I-Book.
59
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:40,959
No, that was three years ago.
60
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:42,797
Last year was the Playstation.
61
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,742
Arliss, if you're gonna make
it to that press conference,
62
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:45,934
you have to leave now.
63
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,069
Hi, Goldberg.
64
00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:48,703
Hi, Ginny, bye, Ginny.
65
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:51,168
Arliss, she's got her
heart set on this bike.
66
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,907
And I could buy it. Instead...
67
00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:56,683
In order to win the prize,
you have to earn the prize.
68
00:02:56,743 --> 00:03:00,113
Well, here at AMM,
69
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:02,279
we don't just work
for you, Goldberg.
70
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,118
We work for your entire family.
71
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,723
So, that said,
72
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:08,385
let me be the first
to buy a basket
73
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:11,824
and make that a $50...
74
00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:13,191
Ahem...
75
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:17,504
$100 basket.
76
00:03:17,563 --> 00:03:19,433
Arliss, you don't mind
if she sells the baskets
77
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:20,569
around the office, do you?
78
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:22,843
"Mind?!" Of course not.
79
00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:25,642
I have to fly to New York
in an hour, but don't worry.
80
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,505
Stanley here will
personally assist you.
81
00:03:27,573 --> 00:03:29,043
What? Arliss.
82
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:30,778
Arliss, we gotta go.
83
00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:32,753
Hello, Mr. Carlisle.
84
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,352
Oh, hi, Ginny.
85
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:35,854
Bye, Ginny.
86
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,150
Well, good luck.
87
00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,088
Ooh, almost forgot.
88
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:44,419
(gasps)
89
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,156
(stammering)
90
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,103
Which one would
you like, Mr. Babson?
91
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:55,703
Hey, when we get to New
York, let's go to Nipple Nudes.
92
00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,568
I got some lap dance coupons.
93
00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,717
No, no, no, we fly in,
D'Agostino signs his contract,
94
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:01,272
we fly out.
95
00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:03,340
What are you doing,
you just missed your turn!
96
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:04,579
I gotta pick up something.
97
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:06,184
Boss, we're gonna be late.
98
00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:07,475
It'll just take a second.
99
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,247
Not your lucky peanuts.
100
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:11,145
Didn't you already
get your bag today?
101
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:12,517
Little Winona lifted them!
102
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,685
I need my luck.
103
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,423
Boss, luck is
having your brother
104
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,918
be governor of the state
that decides your election,
105
00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:19,190
not peanuts.
106
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:20,488
Says you.
107
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,102
Arliss: There he is.
108
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:25,403
(tires screech)
109
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,097
Back for more, amigo?
110
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:30,368
Unsalted, small bag.
111
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,666
(whistling)
112
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:33,208
(tires screech)
113
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,141
(yelling in Spanish)
114
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,390
(stammering)
Where are you going?
115
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,681
Wait, wait, wait,
where are you going?
116
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,007
I got exact change!
117
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:43,421
Arliss, we gotta go.
118
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:44,853
He's got my nuts!
119
00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:46,447
So did my ex, but I lived.
120
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:48,119
Come on, let's go.
121
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,667
Arliss (narrating): When a black
and white cat crossed a man's path,
122
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,860
he asked, "Is that
good luck or bad luck?"
123
00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:54,125
His friend replied,
124
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,533
"That all depends on
what happens next."
125
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:59,473
Man: Last month
when I became GM,
126
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:02,642
I said we'd put the Knicks
on the path to a championship.
127
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,572
We're taking the
first step today
128
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,137
with the signing of the
number one draft pick,
129
00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:09,036
D'Agostino Mills.
130
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,738
D'Agostino brings
a work ethic...
131
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,981
That was the single shittiest
plane ride I've ever had.
132
00:05:14,046 --> 00:05:15,276
No cell phone reception,
133
00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,778
the VCR broke, flying
through the perfect storm.
134
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,790
I should've had my nuts.
135
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:22,492
Arliss, you've got the number
one pick in the NBA draft
136
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:23,755
about to sign.
137
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,463
Other agents would
love to have your luck.
138
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,556
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
139
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:31,528
Enjoy the moment,
you're about to be praised.
140
00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:33,197
Man: So, without further ado,
141
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:36,836
I give you D'Agostino Mills.
142
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,843
(cheering and applause)
143
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,183
This is a great day for me.
144
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:47,314
I want to thank my college coach
145
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:49,450
for being so cool
when I had to jet.
146
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,185
And I wanna give some love
to my boys out in Compton.
147
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:53,491
Fo sho', baby, West Side,
148
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:55,153
you know how we
do it till we die, blood!
149
00:05:56,455 --> 00:05:59,485
Most of all I want to thank...
150
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,558
my boys at Reebok.
151
00:06:03,629 --> 00:06:04,859
That charcoal jumpy.
152
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,401
Ooh.
153
00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:09,535
D'Ag, Pat Croce, NBC sports.
154
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:11,302
Any long-term goals?
155
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:12,710
Yeah.
156
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:16,112
My one and only dream
157
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:20,405
has been to have my jersey
hang in the rafters of an NBA arena.
158
00:06:20,479 --> 00:06:22,919
Well, let the dream begin!
159
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,222
Sign here.
160
00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:25,893
Here you go...
161
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:28,652
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
you got this wrong, man.
162
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,421
My number's 11.
163
00:06:30,489 --> 00:06:32,629
Don't worry, it's
just ceremonial.
164
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:35,432
What do you mean
ceremonial? I want number 11.
165
00:06:35,494 --> 00:06:36,504
You'll wear number 11.
166
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,262
Tad, tell him he'll
wear number 11.
167
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,171
D'Agostino will be
wearing number 11.
168
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,633
Pat: No, he won't.
169
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:42,741
Why not?
170
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,402
Because that number
belonged to Chet Koldys.
171
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,341
Who's Chet Koldys?
172
00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:49,206
Oh, gee.
173
00:06:49,275 --> 00:06:50,875
That is Chet Koldys.
174
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,112
What's that doing up there?
175
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,860
Uh, D'Ag, just sign,
we'll work it out later.
176
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,882
No, no, no, we'll
work this out now.
177
00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,120
Take that jersey down!
178
00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:00,545
"Take it down," Arliss?
179
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,290
D'Ag, I'm sure
we can solve this.
180
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,115
Yeah, we can solve
this, with some scissors,
181
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:05,930
'cause if I don't
wear 11, I don't sign.
182
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,032
D'Ag, D'Ag, listen,
183
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,834
it's just a number,
don't be silly!
184
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,356
It's just a number!
185
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,739
Hey, Jason Giambi.
186
00:07:15,801 --> 00:07:18,141
How's the Bronx bombers
biggest bat? (chuckles)
187
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,014
Stanley, my man, what's up?
188
00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:21,552
Jason, I've been going
through your portfolio
189
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:24,414
and you are doing
very, very well.
190
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:25,847
God bless Urecoat,
191
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:27,482
the miracle spray-on roofing.
192
00:07:27,546 --> 00:07:30,076
Yes.
193
00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:34,889
Anyway, I'm raising money
for a children's hospital
194
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,124
and I was wondering
if you'd be interested
195
00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:39,229
in buying a gift basket.
196
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,992
Are you shilling for
Goldberg's kid again?
197
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,000
You hit me up for
that brat last year.
198
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,502
It's a mere $50.
199
00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:45,703
$50?!
200
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,825
You only gave my niece
$20 for her candy bars.
201
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,570
You tell that runt
to kiss my ass.
202
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,035
Okay, great talking with you.
203
00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:54,392
He'll take two.
204
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,411
Two?
205
00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:57,484
Jason Giambi just
signed a seven-year,
206
00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,153
$120 million deal.
207
00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:01,051
My father, Goldberg,
208
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:02,883
said you were a
skillful negotiator.
209
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:04,619
I'm not so sure.
210
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:09,322
Okay, let's get to the Red Sox.
211
00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:11,198
Tad, are you telling me
the Knicks are gonna risk
212
00:08:11,223 --> 00:08:12,733
losing the number
one draft pick over this?
213
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:14,988
Chet Koldys is the owner's
all-time favorite Knick.
214
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,361
He's not gonna un-retire
his number for some rookie.
215
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:18,550
Chet Koldys is dead!
216
00:08:18,549 --> 00:08:19,669
He's a legend!
217
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:21,702
So's Bigfoot, the
fans want D'Agostino!
218
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:24,767
My boss worships the
memory of Chet Koldys.
219
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,637
Memories don't
put asses in seats.
220
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:28,266
But my boss puts mine here.
221
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,411
So, until the kid
changes his mind,
222
00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:31,676
the deal's off.
223
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:32,754
Tad...
224
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:35,113
What'd he say?
225
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,321
Arliss, we have a
serious problem!
226
00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:39,594
Yeah, we sure do.
227
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:42,592
D'Agostino won't sign unless
he gets Chet Koldys' number.
228
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:43,825
The kid's dropped
out of college,
229
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,486
now he wants to
re-write history.
230
00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,358
D'Agostino is my client.
231
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:48,526
So, what are you gonna do?
232
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:49,704
What am I gonna do?
233
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:51,612
I'm gonna try to talk D'Agostino
into changing his mind!
234
00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:52,830
No. Can I come?
235
00:08:52,898 --> 00:08:54,738
You and Rita have to track
down my peanut guy now.
236
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:57,637
You want us to drop everything
to find your peanut guy?
237
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,483
Right now he's the most
important person in my life.
238
00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:00,585
Once I get my peanuts back,
239
00:09:00,639 --> 00:09:02,079
the situation with
D'Agostino will work out.
240
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,508
I'll find him, I volunteer!
241
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:05,046
- No, you're busy.
- So, what's his name?
242
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,607
- Your peanut guy.
- What's whose name?
243
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,009
How the hell do I know?
244
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,030
You don't even know the name of
the most important person in your life?
245
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,689
He's the Mexican
peanut guy, for Godsakes.
246
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,197
He doesn't need a name,
his name's peanut guy.
247
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,849
(whispers) Arliss.
248
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:23,461
Ahhh.
249
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:24,799
(crunch)
250
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,534
There you are, Stanley.
251
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:28,629
I've got Bob Costas on hold.
252
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:29,701
Arliss.
253
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:30,799
Take care of it!
254
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,200
Rita, Kirby.
255
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:34,381
I don't believe either of you
has placed your order yet.
256
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,237
Oh, sorry... Stanley,
take care of it.
257
00:09:37,309 --> 00:09:39,879
Yes, we're on a very
important mission.
258
00:09:39,945 --> 00:09:41,805
Costas, line two.
259
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:44,521
And this time, say
exactly what I tell you to.
260
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:46,193
Don't try to be witty.
261
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,852
I want that bike!
262
00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:58,729
See?
263
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:00,518
You don't need number
11 to shoot like that.
264
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,113
I need this number,
it's good luck.
265
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,372
D'Ag, luck is
winning the lottery.
266
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,381
Luck is being
upgraded to first class
267
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,683
because coach is sold out.
268
00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:13,664
Luck is having your brother
be the governor of the state
269
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:14,849
that decides your election.
270
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,084
You don't need luck.
271
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:18,818
You've got that
sweet, sweet Jay.
272
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:23,385
Arliss, my dream is to
have my jersey retired.
273
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,126
Wearing number 11 is the
only way that's gonna happen.
274
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,459
Look, just for fun...
275
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,238
humor me.
276
00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:41,272
Yeah, okay, close.
277
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,680
Do it again, here you go.
278
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:47,245
Swish!
279
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,353
I'm not feeling it.
280
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,954
Okay, try another one.
281
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,916
Looks good.
282
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,088
Three, two, one...!
283
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,087
(imitates buzzer)
284
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,529
You were up by one.
285
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:07,578
Maybe you should
try another one.
286
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:13,437
You're thinking
about it too much.
287
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,106
Just get in there and slam one.
288
00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:18,939
(glass shatters)
289
00:11:20,412 --> 00:11:21,912
Case closed!
290
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,816
Arliss (narrating): I firmly
believe you make your own luck.
291
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:29,756
Remember, the breaks
even out in the end.
292
00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:34,785
What did he say?
293
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:38,330
Uh, sugar, jelly, cream-filled.
294
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:39,697
About the peanut guy.
295
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,065
Oh, he hasn't seen him
since the immigration sweep.
296
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,774
We're never gonna find him.
297
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,906
Why can't D'Agostino
just change his number?
298
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:46,971
What's the big deal?
299
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,739
Are you kidding?
300
00:11:48,807 --> 00:11:52,177
Athletes are the most
superstitious people in the world.
301
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:53,484
When I was playing football
302
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,706
I kept a six-game
winning streak alive
303
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:58,051
by not changing my underwear.
304
00:11:58,117 --> 00:12:00,087
Six weeks?
305
00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:01,152
Oh, spare me.
306
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:03,557
I was unsackable.
307
00:12:03,622 --> 00:12:05,192
You were unbearable.
308
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:07,888
Let's try another spot.
309
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,760
(engine starts)
310
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:14,568
Hey, you, learn to drive!
311
00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:17,273
They give a... they give a
license to anybody these days.
312
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,436
Oh, God, sorry. Sorry!
313
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,435
It's a sad state of affairs when
a poor defenseless woman
314
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:23,748
- Look!
- Like me can't walk in the street.
315
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,606
A defenseless poor woman.
316
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,558
I'm going to call my friend
at the justice department.
317
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,680
Wait, lady!
318
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:31,347
Let me get this straight.
319
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,487
First, you two
try to cripple me,
320
00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:35,252
and now you need my help.
321
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,961
Yes, we're looking for that
guy that sells those peanuts.
322
00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:39,023
Julio.
323
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,231
Yes, yes, Julio.
324
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:42,663
Never heard of him.
325
00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,958
Look, this is really important.
326
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,070
How do I know you're
not with the authorities?
327
00:12:47,132 --> 00:12:49,132
Do I look like I'm
with the authorities?
328
00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:51,071
No, actually, you
look like a perv.
329
00:12:52,137 --> 00:12:54,837
Listen, uh, we're
willing to pay you.
330
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:56,707
Do I look like I need money?
331
00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:59,705
I have my own
retail enterprise here.
332
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:05,053
Well, doesn't mean we
can't do a little business.
333
00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:15,327
Tad, the kid's convinced he'll
never have his jersey retired
334
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:16,764
unless he's playing
as number 11.
335
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:19,399
Well, he'll never start playing
until he gives up that idea.
336
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,995
Well, don't you
want him to play?
337
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:22,266
Don't you?
338
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:24,796
Shit.
339
00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:28,906
Jesus.
340
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,512
Stanley, have you heard
anything from Rita or Kirby?
341
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,178
Where's the number
for Mark Cuban?
342
00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:35,776
Where's Stanley?
343
00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:39,449
No one on the sixth
floor wanted a basket.
344
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,818
Mr. Michaels, I have to
say that I'm not impressed
345
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,957
by the productivity
level of your office.
346
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:47,393
I can't help but wonder
if my father, Goldberg,
347
00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:49,929
might not be better
served at another agency.
348
00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:53,931
Stanley, seventh floor.
349
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,596
Mark Cuban's number?
350
00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:03,981
(phone ringing)
351
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,543
Hello?
352
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:06,981
One second.
353
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:08,146
It's for you.
354
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,079
And don't tie up the line.
355
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:16,864
Arliss Michaels.
356
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:19,432
We know where
your peanut guy lives.
357
00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:21,161
We're a couple blocks
away from his house.
358
00:14:21,226 --> 00:14:22,556
Great, great, give
me the address.
359
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,171
Okay, look.
360
00:14:27,232 --> 00:14:29,012
I'll meet you there in 15
minutes, and wait outside!
361
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:30,814
He doesn't know you,
so, he's liable to bolt again.
362
00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:31,996
Alright.
363
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,582
He's on his way.
364
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:44,153
Arliss better reimburse
me for that leather jacket.
365
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,516
Your jacket?
366
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,886
(car alarm chirps)
367
00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:00,397
The garage...
368
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,126
No, the garage, back
there, back there.
369
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,310
(knocking)
370
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:16,984
Si?
371
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,389
I'm looking for...
372
00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:21,771
The young man who sells
peanuts over at the Staples Center.
373
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,790
No, adios.
374
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,386
No, no, no, it's
alright, he knows me.
375
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:26,787
Unsalted, small bag!
376
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,929
Como? What are you doing here?
377
00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:31,634
I was worried about you.
378
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:33,667
I came to check to
see if you were alright.
379
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:37,774
(speaking Spanish)
380
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:49,054
My uncle was afraid
you were la migra.
381
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,824
You know, Immigration.
382
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,153
They're looking for me.
383
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:54,387
Um, I really don't want to
take up any of your time.
384
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,053
But...
385
00:15:57,489 --> 00:15:59,089
As long as I'm here,
386
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:02,998
why don't I give you some
money and get a bag of peanuts?
387
00:16:03,061 --> 00:16:04,531
Si, si.
388
00:16:06,064 --> 00:16:07,234
Great.
389
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,929
The usual?
390
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,771
Unsalted, small bag.
391
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:14,966
(screaming)
392
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,070
Rosa!
393
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,781
Oh, my god, I'll get help.
394
00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:19,043
No, just stay here, please!
395
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:21,011
Me?
396
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,047
Why does it take so
long to get peanuts?
397
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:28,689
I'm starving.
398
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:29,764
Coconut?
399
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,722
No, cream filled.
400
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:32,930
Ah!
401
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,491
Oh!
402
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,700
Oh, oh, oh.
403
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:44,072
Uno, dos, tres.
404
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,446
Shouldn't she be
at the hospital?!
405
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:46,471
No hospital!
406
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:47,565
It might be safer.
407
00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:48,739
My baby will be born here.
408
00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:50,077
My baby will be an American.
409
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:51,492
It'll be an American
at the hospital.
410
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,410
But Rosa and I will
not, we will be deported.
411
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:55,079
(screaming)
412
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:56,747
Get a towel, get a towel!
413
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,515
(panting)
414
00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:01,488
Fucking...
415
00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:03,663
(gate opening)
416
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:08,459
Shit.
417
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,027
Quick, Immigration,
hide, get outta here!
418
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,256
She can't be moved.
419
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,402
Where are you going?
420
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:17,196
Thank God you're here.
421
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:19,309
There's an illegal Asian
operating a prostitution ring
422
00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:20,508
right out front!
423
00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:22,772
Well, don't just stand there,
man, we're at Defcon five!
424
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:25,341
Move, move, Black Hawk down!
425
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,409
Hey, let me help you with that.
426
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,920
Ah, Jesus!
427
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,924
Sonuvabitch.
428
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:37,261
Immigration!
429
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:38,992
Step out of the car, please.
430
00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:40,157
Hmm?
431
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,625
Please, step out of the car!
432
00:17:47,432 --> 00:17:50,602
Do-you-speak-English?
433
00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:52,469
I beg your pardon?
434
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,768
- We were just waiting for somebody.
- Mm-hmm!
435
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:57,878
Looks like somebody didn't wait.
436
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,679
Okay, no, no.
437
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,118
(screaming)
438
00:18:04,182 --> 00:18:06,922
Empuja! Empuja!
439
00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:08,785
Una mas, una mas.
440
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,819
(screaming)
441
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,332
Una mas, una mas.
442
00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:20,766
(baby crying)
443
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:25,839
(speaking Spanish)
444
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:27,674
(speaks Spanish)
445
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,584
Scissors, we need
scissors, we need scissors!
446
00:18:44,823 --> 00:18:47,363
(speaking Spanish)
447
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,956
Bien, Rosa, muy bien.
448
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,297
Gracias.
449
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:53,971
Como te llamas?
450
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,604
Julio.
451
00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:00,443
Julio, Arliss.
452
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,007
(pounding on door)
453
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,775
Man: Immigration, open up.
454
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:13,454
The next case on the
calendar is Julio Garcia.
455
00:19:13,518 --> 00:19:16,118
Is the respondent
Julio Garcia here?
456
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,770
D'Ag, listen, I'm gonna
be straight with you.
457
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:22,001
I've been 'round and 'round with
the Knicks and we're at an impasse.
458
00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:24,957
They're not gonna take
Chet Koldys' jersey down.
459
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:28,570
Arliss, my dream is to
have my jersey retired.
460
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,344
If I don't get 11, how's
that gonna happen?
461
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:32,402
You find a way
to make this work,
462
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,671
or I'm sitting out and
finding a new agent.
463
00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:39,205
Judge: Counsel for the defense?
464
00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:43,176
As the court is well aware
465
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:44,978
any baby born in
the United States
466
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:47,550
is automatically
an American citizen.
467
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,819
I am well aware, Mr. Shapiro.
468
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,318
What's the baby's name?
469
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:53,660
Arlissio Miguel Garcia.
470
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:56,655
As I'm sure you're
aware, Mr. Shapiro,
471
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:59,258
the child's parents had
nine months to figure this out.
472
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:00,831
Uh, your honor, may I speak?
473
00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:02,069
And you are...
474
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:05,144
Arliss Michaels,
the baby's godfather.
475
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,511
Continue.
476
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:12,108
I'm willing to sponsor
these people in their bid
477
00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:14,777
to become American citizens.
478
00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:17,976
I believe this
man, Julio Garcia,
479
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,590
is the type of man the
founding fathers had in mind
480
00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:24,723
when they drew
up our constitution.
481
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:28,290
A man who works hard at
his job, seven days a week,
482
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,430
out on the street selling bags
of peanuts to all who come by,
483
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,726
regardless of
race, color, creed.
484
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,569
If I made an exception
for everyone...
485
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:37,895
Wait a minute, peanuts?
486
00:20:37,969 --> 00:20:40,009
Yes, but it shouldn't matter
487
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,972
how small a man's claim
on the American dream is.
488
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,541
(whispers) Sit down.
489
00:20:44,609 --> 00:20:46,509
Stand up, Mr. Garcia.
490
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,978
Your honor, please.
491
00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:50,876
Where the hell have you been?
492
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:53,749
I haven't gotten my
lucky peanuts in days.
493
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:56,319
Salted. Large bag?
494
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:58,158
When you disappeared,
I ripped my robe,
495
00:20:58,223 --> 00:21:00,663
my lawn sprouted crabgrass
and my mother-in-law showed up.
496
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:03,296
Of course Mr. Garcia can stay.
497
00:21:03,361 --> 00:21:04,531
Case dismissed.
498
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:07,368
Rosa, Rosa.
499
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,632
Think you better take him.
500
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:13,266
Arliss, I have
something for you.
501
00:21:15,373 --> 00:21:16,713
Ha ha ha!
502
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,605
No, no, no, on the house.
503
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,777
No, no, the way it works
is I give you the money,
504
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:22,046
you give me the peanuts.
505
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,784
Okay, the usual?
506
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,549
Unsalted, small bag.
507
00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:29,754
Muchas gracias.
508
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:31,618
De nada.
509
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:34,725
(bell ringing)
510
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:38,363
Forward AMM Coming through.
511
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:41,830
So, the demon
seed won the prize.
512
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,800
No, I took the money
out of petty cash
513
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:44,969
and I bought it for her.
514
00:21:45,036 --> 00:21:48,006
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
out of my petty cash.
515
00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:49,573
It was a small price to pay.
516
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:51,711
Damnit, Stanley,
Goldberg's gonna flip out.
517
00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:53,407
He wanted Ginny to earn it.
518
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:56,548
"In order to win the prize
you gotta earn the prize."
519
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:58,175
She just wants the prize.
520
00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,320
So, you're just
giving it to her.
521
00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:02,055
Yes, easier to just
give her what she wants
522
00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:04,017
and be done with it, that
way everyone's happy.
523
00:22:05,323 --> 00:22:06,533
What'd you just say?
524
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:08,791
I said, it's just easier to
just give her what she wants
525
00:22:08,860 --> 00:22:11,360
and be done with it!
526
00:22:11,429 --> 00:22:14,669
Arliss (narrating): One should
never put one's cart before the horse.
527
00:22:14,733 --> 00:22:18,373
Unless the goddamn
horse won't move.
528
00:22:18,436 --> 00:22:20,266
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
529
00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:22,908
please welcome
our next superstar,
530
00:22:22,974 --> 00:22:24,544
D'Agostino Mills.
531
00:22:24,609 --> 00:22:27,209
Let's give him a big New
York Knicks welcome.
532
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:29,749
(cheering and applause)
533
00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:35,486
You ready?
534
00:22:41,993 --> 00:22:45,303
Arliss, I can't believe we're
retiring a player's jersey
535
00:22:45,363 --> 00:22:46,673
before he's ever played a game.
536
00:22:46,731 --> 00:22:48,271
Details, details.
537
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:51,573
He's happy, the fans are
happy, your boss is happy
538
00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:53,866
And I'm lucky.
539
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,342
(sighs)
540
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:07,222
Arliss, what does TBD Mean?
541
00:23:07,285 --> 00:23:08,585
To be determined.
542
00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:11,163
That means if you like
20, it'll be 20 up there.
543
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,823
If you like 30, it'll
be 30 up there.
544
00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:14,861
But one thing
you can be sure of,
545
00:23:14,926 --> 00:23:19,026
Arliss Michaels made
your dream come true.
546
00:23:19,097 --> 00:23:22,127
(sighing)
547
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,895
(bell ringing)
548
00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:27,110
(chuckling)
549
00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:29,412
At least we're rid of her.
550
00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:31,284
Yeah, 'til next year.
551
00:23:33,778 --> 00:23:35,078
Hey, how much?
552
00:23:35,146 --> 00:23:36,176
Oh.
553
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,278
$50.
554
00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:40,420
Okay, hop in.
555
00:23:42,821 --> 00:23:44,721
(cheering and applause)
556
00:23:45,790 --> 00:23:48,060
Peanuts, peanuts!
557
00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:55,004
Arliss (narrating): Mi
nobre es Arliss Michaels.
558
00:23:55,066 --> 00:23:57,596
Yo represento athletes.
559
00:23:57,669 --> 00:24:00,969
Y estes son mis historias.
560
00:24:01,039 --> 00:24:02,909
Adios!
561
00:24:02,974 --> 00:24:04,814
♪ ♪
562
00:24:04,864 --> 00:24:09,414
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38573
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof