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♪ ♪
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00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:13,779
Arliss: For most of us,
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00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,977
the dream of becoming a champion
4
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,679
remains a fantasy.
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00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:20,691
But for a special few,
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it is very much a reality.
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We cheer them.
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We live through them.
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Athletes are our last warriors.
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My job is to make
their dreams come true.
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00:00:32,632 --> 00:00:34,132
♪ ♪
12
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My name is Arliss Michaels.
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I represent athletes.
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00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:40,238
These are my stories.
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00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:43,136
♪ I don't know what it is
that makes me love you so ♪
16
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:46,749
♪ I only know I never
wanna let you go ♪
17
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,583
♪ 'Cause you started something ♪
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00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:50,378
♪ Oh, can't you see ♪
19
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♪ That ever since we met ♪
20
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♪ You had a hold on me ♪
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♪ It happens to be true ♪
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♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
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00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:04,834
♪ And I just wanna be
beside you everywhere ♪
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00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,328
♪ As long as we're together ♪
25
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,769
♪ Honey, I don't care ♪
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00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,265
♪ 'Cause you started something ♪
27
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:11,936
♪ Oh, can't you see ♪
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00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,365
♪ That ever since we met ♪
29
00:01:13,439 --> 00:01:15,639
♪ You had a hold on me ♪
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00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:19,308
♪ No matter what you do ♪
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♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
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Announcer: And as they
come out of the Clubhouse turn,
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it's First-to-Third
and Henry's Legion
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fighting for the lead.
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First-to-Third! First-to-Third!
36
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:31,559
(crowd shouting)
37
00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:34,364
First-to-Third! First-to-Third!
38
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:35,427
To Fourth.
39
00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:36,601
To Fifth...
40
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,833
- To hell with you.
- Yes! Yes!
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Hoo hoo! (kiss)
42
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Thank you! Woo!
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What are you so jolly about?
44
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:45,911
First-to-Third just finished
45
00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:47,782
on the other side of the
International Date Line.
46
00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:50,337
I know. I-I had
Henry's Legion to win.
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00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,810
You what!?
48
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,408
Look, boss, I know I'm the one
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00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:54,919
that talked you into
buying First-to-Third,
50
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:55,988
but, you know, maybe it's time
51
00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:57,175
that horse got another job,
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00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,320
like keeping model
airplanes together.
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00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,157
What's with your lip?
54
00:02:02,221 --> 00:02:04,791
Oh. This is love, Arliss.
55
00:02:04,857 --> 00:02:06,457
Looks like a canker.
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00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:07,886
No, it's love.
57
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- I don't wanna know.
- She's a prizefighter.
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00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,166
Oh, now I really
don't wanna hear it.
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Kirby, I am not
representing a woman boxer.
60
00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:15,336
No, this isn't business.
This is all pleasure.
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00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:16,941
- I'm in love.
- This is ugly.
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No, this is the real thing.
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00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:20,542
And the sex?
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Oh, man. You know what
it's like to be in the sack
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00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:25,012
with someone that can
put together combinations?
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Hoo hoo!
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("Chinatown" theme plays)
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(whispering) Kirby!
Kirby, look! Look!
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Arliss: Is that
who I think it is?
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Kirby: The Rock?
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00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:37,524
Yeah. See him out
here all the time.
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00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,060
That's Rocky Framaggio!
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00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:42,095
Rocky Framaggio! The Big Cheese!
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He was my idol when
I was growing up!
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I used to wear the same
uniform number as him, nine.
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00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,476
I used to stand in the
batter's box like him.
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I'd hitch up my belt like him.
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00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:51,539
I'd hold the bat up high.
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I mean, I'd waggle it like him.
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He was my guy! That's
Rocky Fra... Wha...
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(crowd murmuring)
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Where'd he go?
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Try the bar.
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♪ ♪
85
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- I'll see you later.
- Alright, take it light.
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Arliss: In sport, many
are referred to as stars.
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00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,085
But then, there is the one
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00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:12,586
who becomes part
of your own history.
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00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:15,859
The one who stands
out amongst the many.
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00:03:15,928 --> 00:03:18,058
So, I cut the ball
off at the gap,
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00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,801
Brock rounds first,
makes a big turn,
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00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,096
but he knows I got a cannon.
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00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,237
So, he just stands
there, daring me to throw.
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00:03:23,302 --> 00:03:25,172
Meanwhile,
Javier, he's on third.
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00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,568
He decides to bolt for home.
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00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,269
Well, I, I know I can't get him
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00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,341
'cause I fucked up
staring down Brock.
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00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,280
But I see McCarver
daydreaming at second,
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00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,775
at second, so I throw a BB,
100
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,916
I pick his ass off second
before the run scores,
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00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:37,322
we win game three.
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00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,723
-(laughs) -It was a great
play! I was at that game.
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00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:42,223
You and 8,000,000 others.
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Uh, bartender? Um, go ahead.
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♪ ♪
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I hope you don't mind.
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00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:50,404
You think I'm gonna turn
you down, you're wrong.
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00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,133
I'd be insulted if you did!
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After all the years of
pleasure you gave me...
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00:03:53,966 --> 00:03:55,766
Was that you?
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00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,335
I'm sorry. I just slipped
out the next morning.
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00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,374
I was gonna call you,
but I forgot your number.
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00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,810
-(laugh) That's very funny.
-(laugh)
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I'm Arliss Michaels.
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00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,954
I mean, I... I
gotta tell you, um,
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I deal with a lot of superstars
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00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,654
in my line of work, but I,
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I can't tell you what a great
thrill this is meeting you.
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00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:19,657
In fact, check this out.
120
00:04:22,995 --> 00:04:24,955
Your rookie card.
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00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,001
Oh yeah. He looks familiar.
122
00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:28,096
Um...
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00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:29,367
Would you, uh...
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00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,314
sign this for me?
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Cost you 50 bucks.
126
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,038
(laughing)
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00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:40,779
(drops pen)
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00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:43,922
Carlos!
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00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,348
Same.
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00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:49,921
What are you having?
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00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,289
Uh, can I have a
decaffeinated latte, please?
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00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:55,860
With bourbon.
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00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:00,571
(groan)
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00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,503
September 22nd, 1963.
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00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:06,744
Metropolitan Stadium, Minnesota.
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00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,076
Camilo Pascual's
right on the mound.
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00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,276
He throws me a
forkball middle in, but,
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00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:14,245
see, I'm looking for it
because he'd already
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00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:16,483
struck me out twice
with breaking balls,
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00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:17,919
so... (laughs)
141
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,294
Anyway, I get
all of it this time.
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00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:20,748
I can feel it down to my spikes,
143
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,160
and the ball comes off the bat,
144
00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:24,861
it's heading for
Canada. (chuckles)
145
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,264
Number 500...
146
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:28,486
I was at that game, too.
147
00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,331
Yeah, you and 80,000,000 others.
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00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,996
Man, those were glory days.
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Remember, you owned that town!
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00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:36,835
(sigh)
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00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,873
Kid, back then, we
partied so hard, I...
152
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:39,968
(chuckles)
153
00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:41,439
I couldn't remember my birthday.
154
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,407
I, I tell you w-what I
do remember, though.
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00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,976
Two ex-wives, and...
156
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:49,945
two paternity suits to
help cause the ex-wives.
157
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,216
Oh yeah, and Rocky's
Fried Chicken chain
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00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,345
that went belly-up.
159
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,189
Oh, I loved that chicken!
160
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:57,094
- Ah, it had the greatest slogan!
- Yeah...
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00:05:57,156 --> 00:05:58,586
"To get a better
piece of chicken,
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00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,528
Both: You'd have
to be a rooster!"
163
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,633
(laughing)
164
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,625
So, Mr. Agent Man,
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00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,427
uh, got any use for a...
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00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,740
washed up, 14-handicap
Hall of Famer? (chuckles)
167
00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:12,813
I gotta make a little
jack, you know?
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00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,210
Are you serious?
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00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:17,939
I'd be honored to represent you.
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00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,175
I mean, don't worry.
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(sigh)
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00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:22,877
Selling you. Once
a thoroughbred,
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00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,349
always a thoroughbred.
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00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:28,818
I can't wait to get into the
office tomorrow and say...
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00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:32,962
People, we are in the
Rocky Framaggio business.
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I thought he was dead.
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00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,430
No, he just looks that way.
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00:06:36,495 --> 00:06:38,125
What happened to all his money?
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00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:39,727
He's been investing in taverns.
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00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,129
You know, one drink at a time.
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00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,370
(laughter)
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00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:44,636
Arliss: Excuse me, excuse me.
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00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:47,474
People, I will not sit here,
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00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:50,040
and let you denigrate
a three time MVP,
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00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,609
first ballot Hall of Famer,
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00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:54,107
with a .317 batting
average, 508 home runs,
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00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,120
and 1,345 RBIs.
188
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,282
Mays was better.
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00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,550
Bullshit! If The Rock hadn't
blown out his shoulder,
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00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:01,029
he woulda blown away
all of Mays' records!
191
00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:02,503
If Mays hadn't played
in Candlestick Park...
192
00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:04,771
Oh, gimme a break! If my aunt
had balls, she'd be my uncle!
193
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:07,030
Kirby, Kirby! Who was
better, Mays or Framaggio?
194
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,393
Mantle.
195
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:11,061
Anyway, I've invited The Rock
196
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,910
to come over here and
meet all of us this afternoon.
197
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,632
Oh no, I can't
meet anyone today.
198
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:15,880
I'm going to go take my friend
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00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,002
to her egg extraction.
200
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,214
Her what?
201
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,052
Well, see, my friend's
having problems conceiving,
202
00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:23,143
and so she's gonna
get her eggs collected,
203
00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:24,509
and then artificially seminated.
204
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,247
(stammers) Okay,
fine, fine, fine.
205
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,272
If you wanna go to an egg
hunt rather than meeting
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00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,034
the greatest ball player
of our generation...
207
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:31,419
Second best.
208
00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:33,164
Boss, what makes you
think you're gonna take a guy
209
00:07:33,185 --> 00:07:35,185
that struck out 3,000
times on the field,
210
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:37,994
and 4,000 times off
it, and get him work?
211
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,985
Just as there are
teflon politicians,
212
00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:44,361
there are also teflon athletes.
213
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:46,400
The Rock happens
to be one of 'em.
214
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:48,725
In fact, I've already
lined up not one,
215
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,871
not two, but three
216
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,067
job offers.
217
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,308
(organ plays "Charge")
218
00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:58,105
Thanks for the audition, Dick.
219
00:07:58,177 --> 00:07:59,807
Hey, anything for The Rock.
220
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:01,799
- Ah, he appreciates it, too.
- Yeah, no problem.
221
00:08:01,847 --> 00:08:03,047
Okay, Rock,
222
00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:04,385
here's the way
this is gonna work.
223
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,247
You follow the
action on the monitor,
224
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,319
I'll do the play-by-play,
225
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:09,917
you do the color commentary
226
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,129
with some interesting anecdotes.
227
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,057
It's that simple.
228
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:13,964
You know, I'm, I'm
a little nervous, guys,
229
00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:16,526
'cause I don't really relate
to today's ballplayers.
230
00:08:16,595 --> 00:08:19,565
Both: Don't worry about
that. Don't worry about it...
231
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:21,372
The key here, the
key here, Rock, just...
232
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,774
Both: Be yourself.
233
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:23,695
Dick: Just be yourself.
234
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:24,929
That's the best way to do it.
235
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,171
Let's try one, and let's roll.
236
00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:27,635
- He's gonna be great.
- Okay.
237
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:28,937
Glassine pitches to Hundley,
238
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,138
and it's a line drive to
left field for a base hit.
239
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,280
Gilkey rounds third,
heading for home.
240
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,306
Here's Klesko's
throw. Gilkey slides,
241
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:37,251
and he's out at the plate!
242
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:42,088
That was a great
throw by Klesko!
243
00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:43,394
You had a great arm!
244
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:46,360
Well, thanks, but, uh,
245
00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:49,025
my arm was much
stronger than fat boy here.
246
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,755
(chuckle) You remember
when I picked McCarver's ass
247
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,371
off second in the Series?
248
00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:54,772
See, I was playing right field,
249
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,174
and Brock hit a single,
and I threw behind him...
250
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:59,046
Well, you had a great arm,
Rock, no question about it.
251
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,841
But, the way Klesko is hitting,
252
00:09:00,906 --> 00:09:03,606
someday he may approach
some of your records.
253
00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:06,406
Well, sure, but that's because
today's pitching's for shit.
254
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:08,713
See, first of all,
255
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,048
they bring these
kids up to the bigs
256
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,487
before their nuts have dropped.
257
00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:15,091
And then, these aluminum
bats are for pussies.
258
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:16,564
And, worst of all,
259
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:19,332
the strike zone
is a fucking joke.
260
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,232
There are these
band-box ballparks, and...
261
00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:23,764
L-Look at this guy.
262
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:25,799
I mean, h-he makes
3,000,000 dollars,
263
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,665
he's, he's not even running!
264
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,833
Come on!
265
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,471
Run, you fucking mook!
266
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:33,106
(organ plays "Charge")
267
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,642
(crowd murmuring)
268
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:37,678
What did I tell you?
Look at those lines!
269
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,853
Yeah, look at it.
It's not even moving.
270
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,952
He's been here two
hours, signed six cards,
271
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:43,354
and taken seven breaks!
272
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,376
Eh, it just takes him a
little while to get going.
273
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:47,792
- Thanks.
- (sigh)
274
00:09:48,954 --> 00:09:51,194
Hey, Rock. I told my
son you were my idol.
275
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,057
He's heard every
story about you.
276
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,525
Son, say hello to Rock.
277
00:09:54,593 --> 00:09:55,593
Hello, Rock.
278
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:57,996
Hi, son.
279
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,334
Now remember,
280
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:02,538
stay in school, stay off drugs.
281
00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:03,801
(grunt)
282
00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:05,499
Look at that kid's face.
283
00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:06,811
Yeah, look at him!
284
00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:07,882
If he breathes on him again,
285
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:08,907
he'll turn to stone!
286
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,081
Baseball misses you, Rock.
287
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,782
When are you gonna
get back into the game?
288
00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:13,578
Not interested.
289
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,246
Can't relate to today's players.
290
00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:17,924
I told my son about every
home run you ever hit.
291
00:10:17,983 --> 00:10:18,993
I even told him about the time
292
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:21,648
you hit a buck 98
in the '63 series.
293
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,220
Remember your last time at bat?
294
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,459
"The whiff heard around
the world." Remember that?
295
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,063
(sigh)
296
00:10:30,362 --> 00:10:31,762
What's that say?
297
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:32,901
It says,
298
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,595
"Kiss my ass, Dad."
299
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,138
That's it. I gotta take a break.
300
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,514
Another break?
He just took a break!
301
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:41,643
Oh, it's his hand.
302
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,117
He's got that thing where
he can't sign autographs.
303
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,582
That, uh, Lincoln
Tunnel Syndrome!
304
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:46,463
He doesn't have a problem
picking up a beer bottle!
305
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,509
I can't take this
anymore, Arliss. Come on,
306
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:51,081
I think we can still make
the fifth race at Santa Anita.
307
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,150
♪ ♪
308
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,018
He's supposed to
sign for five hours!
309
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:55,316
He's only been here for two!
310
00:10:55,387 --> 00:10:57,887
Sorry, Arliss. I guess
I dropped the ball.
311
00:10:57,957 --> 00:11:00,257
Uh, that's okay. The
next one's a can't miss.
312
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,826
(organ plays "Charge")
313
00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:02,804
♪ ♪
314
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:10,472
Welcome to Ferullo's
Diamond Wheel Casino.
315
00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:12,056
What'd I tell you?
What did I tell you?
316
00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:13,344
That's the best I've ever seen!
317
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:15,712
Great grip, and you
look at that eye contact!
318
00:11:15,774 --> 00:11:17,544
Welcome to Ferullo's
Diamond Wheel Casino.
319
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,710
Ferullo: That's the
best I've ever seen, eh?
320
00:11:19,778 --> 00:11:21,648
- The best!
- The best!
321
00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:23,224
Hey, hey! Look who's here!
322
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:25,426
You're doing
great, he loves you.
323
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:26,451
Keep it up! Keep it up!
324
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:28,917
Hey, Rock!
325
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:32,058
I want you to meet one
of our most loyal patrons.
326
00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:34,294
Rock, Howie Rosenberg.
327
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,700
Welcome to Ferullo's
Diamond Wheel Casino.
328
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,032
Hey, Rock... Do me a favor.
329
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:41,298
I got a girl I wanna impress.
When I bring her over,
330
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,637
pretend we're old friends.
331
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:44,971
You know, like golfing
buddies or something. Huh?
332
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,037
Uh...
333
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:49,006
Sure, sure. Why not?
334
00:11:49,074 --> 00:11:50,184
Thanks.
335
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:51,742
(both chuckle)
336
00:11:51,810 --> 00:11:52,850
Good job, Rock.
337
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,682
That personal touch.
That always helps, huh?
338
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:56,677
Hey, Arliss! Come
on, I'll buy you a drink.
339
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:58,949
You're doing great. Keep
it up, and no, uh, drinking...
340
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:00,949
Okay.
341
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:05,021
♪ ♪
342
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:07,790
Oh! Hey, Rock!
343
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:09,600
Good to see you again.
344
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:12,162
Honey, meet an old pal of mine,
345
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,571
Rocky Framaggio!
346
00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:14,672
Nice to meet you.
347
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:17,243
Welcome to Ferullo's
Diamond Wheel Casino.
348
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,973
(laugh) You know,
Rocky and I go back
349
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:20,438
a long way together, right?
350
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:21,436
Don't we, Rock?
351
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,537
(laugh) I give him
advice all the time
352
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:25,139
on how he was
dropping his shoulder,
353
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,551
opening up too much.
354
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,252
Whatever you say, Howie.
355
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:31,124
(chuckles) And those
investments, huh?
356
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,953
That stupid chicken chain?
357
00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:35,648
Oh, whoa, was
that a stupid idea!
358
00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:36,891
(both laughing)
359
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,586
And those bimbos you married?
360
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:40,487
Rock! What were you thinking?
361
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:41,689
(laugh) Oh, hey,
362
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,900
and worst of all...
363
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:44,802
the money you cost me in '63,
364
00:12:44,863 --> 00:12:46,703
when you struck out
with the bases loaded
365
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:48,695
to end the Series? Ho boy,
366
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:50,197
did you look bad out there.
367
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:51,569
(laughing)
368
00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:54,537
That's right, I struck
out to end the Series.
369
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,807
But, you know what it's
like, don't you, Howie?
370
00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:58,935
Standing in the batter's
box on bad knees,
371
00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:01,411
trying to hit a 99
mile an hour fastball,
372
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,530
with a shoulder that keeps
popping out of the socket?
373
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:04,949
Oh, I forgot!
374
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,617
You never played
the game, did you?
375
00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:08,415
You just like to sit
back and criticize
376
00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:10,217
and be a big shot.
377
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,419
Guys like you piss me off
378
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:13,060
'cause you don't know jack shit.
379
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,629
Seem to be getting along well.
380
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,014
He's good, See, Howie's
one of our best customers.
381
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:18,459
Well, what did I tell you?
382
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,370
Pardon my French, ma'am.
383
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:21,902
I don't mean to embarrass
384
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:22,977
a fine woman like yourself,
385
00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:24,342
but I think you should know that
386
00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:25,783
your friend here is
what we used to call
387
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:26,744
in the big leagues,
388
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,205
"A fucking asshole."
389
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,614
(laughs)
390
00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:30,835
Rock's always kidding.
391
00:13:30,909 --> 00:13:32,509
I'm not kidding, zoo breath.
392
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:35,178
Why don't you get rid of that
stupid divot on your head?
393
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:37,247
Hair of the dog, huh?
394
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:38,476
Ah!
395
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,420
Howie!
396
00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:44,264
Get your sorry ass outta here!
397
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,463
♪ ♪
398
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,830
He went 0 for three.
399
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:49,764
What am I gonna do?
400
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,158
The man couldn't hold onto a job
401
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,770
where all he had to
do was sign his name.
402
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:54,268
The man couldn't hold onto a job
403
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,173
where all he had to
do was shake hands.
404
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:57,765
Arliss, just let him go.
405
00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,666
You don't understand
what this guy means to me.
406
00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:02,109
(phone rings)
407
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:04,382
Arliss Michaels' office.
408
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,083
Oh, yeah, okay. Kirby.
409
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,405
(sigh)
410
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:08,479
Yeah, Kirby.
411
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,554
Yeah, I just got a
call from the stables,
412
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:12,516
and, um, Mac needs
to see you right away.
413
00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:15,124
What, did Elmer's
finally make an offer?
414
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,287
I don't know. I'm just...
415
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,795
I'm just telling you
what he told me.
416
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,157
Fine. I'm on my way.
417
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,297
(sigh) More good news.
418
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,602
Rita, call Dr. Kevorkian.
419
00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:27,033
See if he's got an opening
for me this afternoon.
420
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,199
(grunting)
421
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,067
You know, uh, honey?
422
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:33,105
It's been, uh, over a week,
423
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,372
since we've gone
a couple rounds.
424
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,441
(panting)
425
00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:37,638
I'm in training.
426
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,678
I got a fight in two weeks.
427
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,676
Two weeks!?
428
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:43,978
(panting)
429
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,179
So, drop it!
430
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,850
Two weeks?
431
00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:48,723
(horse snorts)
432
00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:50,787
Looks like old-fashioned
arthritis to me.
433
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:55,058
I think the salad days
of First-to-Third are over.
434
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:56,427
Salad days?
435
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:57,495
We never got to the,
436
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,773
"Can I get you something
from the bar?" days!
437
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,772
I got a friend up in Oxnard
who has a stud ranch up there.
438
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,765
He'll pay a good fee
for a stallion like this.
439
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,867
They have ranches
that breed losers?
440
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:08,870
Sure.
441
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:10,311
It's all about bloodlines.
442
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,276
First-to-Third is fourth-removed
443
00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:13,284
from the second cousin
444
00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:15,945
of the grandson of Secretariat.
445
00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:18,124
They'll extract his
semen in the hope that
446
00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:20,993
the offspring will have
greatness in his genes.
447
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:22,823
People will pay a
lot of money for this.
448
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:25,316
(sigh)
449
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,061
Once a thoroughbred,
450
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,426
always a thoroughbred.
451
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:30,504
♪ ♪
452
00:15:34,666 --> 00:15:35,666
No...
453
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,372
Why not?
454
00:15:43,041 --> 00:15:44,911
Why the hell not?
455
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:46,577
(neigh)
456
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,805
As we close out
the final few seconds
457
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,321
on our autographed baseball,
458
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:51,852
let's move onto our next item,
459
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,547
which is most unique.
460
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,149
Look at that beautifully
461
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,220
handcrafted collector's item.
462
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,559
What's inside?
463
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,734
I'll let my next two
guests explain that.
464
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,733
With me, a man who
needs no introduction.
465
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,226
Wait, maybe he does.
466
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,327
Batting clean-up, number nine,
467
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,439
Mr. Rocky Framaggio,
468
00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:10,541
and his agent,
469
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:12,142
Mr. Arliss Michaels.
470
00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:13,074
Welcome.
471
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,238
Thank you, Nan.
472
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,376
As you know, The Rock
has always been synonymous
473
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:17,782
with the American dream.
474
00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:19,113
Well, inside that cup
475
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,178
is the stuff that
dreams are made of.
476
00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:22,916
Frozen in liquid nitrogen,
477
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:25,381
at minus 320 degrees.
478
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,091
Yes, Rocky Framaggio, The Rock,
479
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,363
can be the father
of your next child.
480
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:34,263
Now, technology
keeps the sperm frozen,
481
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,556
or is the correct word viable?
482
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:39,028
That's what they
tell me. I just jerk off.
483
00:16:39,097 --> 00:16:42,367
Actually (laughs), there's
a lot more to it than that.
484
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:44,174
Oh, I can see that we're getting
485
00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:45,966
quite a response already.
486
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:47,938
I'm curious, how
did the two of you
487
00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:49,706
hit upon such a wonderful idea?
488
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:53,146
I wanted to give
something back to the fans,
489
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:55,512
plus it allows me to
work out of the home.
490
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,421
Imagine, your son
491
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,663
batting in the
bottom of the ninth,
492
00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,854
with the bases loaded,
493
00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:01,088
with this man's blood
494
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,423
pumping through his veins.
495
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:04,422
Like I always say,
496
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:06,826
if I had a nickel for
every time I did it...
497
00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:09,962
Plus, we're including
a free t-ball starter set
498
00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:12,328
for the first 25 callers.
499
00:17:12,397 --> 00:17:14,667
The perfect Father's Day gift.
500
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,303
Let's take some calls, shall we?
501
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:20,138
Hello? Joe from Medford, Oregon.
502
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,065
Joe: Hello.
503
00:17:21,139 --> 00:17:22,909
Always been a big
fan of yours, Rock.
504
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,605
How safe is all this?
505
00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,846
I'm healthy as a horse, Joe.
506
00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:28,462
Arliss: All samples
are thoroughly screened
507
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,080
and medically certified.
508
00:17:30,148 --> 00:17:32,948
Uh, Marcus from New York City.
509
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:33,888
Marcus: Yeah, listen,
510
00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,192
I saw The Rock passed out
511
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:37,924
in a public john at Pimlico.
Is he still hitting the bot...
512
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,170
We're getting interference here.
513
00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:40,701
Can we take another call,
please? Another call, please?
514
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,056
Kathy from Aurora, Illinois.
515
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,128
Go ahead.
516
00:17:44,162 --> 00:17:45,772
Kathy: My husband
sits at the dinner table,
517
00:17:45,797 --> 00:17:47,727
just staring at
his steamed peas.
518
00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:49,839
I can't wait to see
the look on his face
519
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,042
when I surprise him
with The Rock's child!
520
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:53,774
(laughing)
521
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,109
I think this would make
522
00:17:55,173 --> 00:17:57,683
a priceless anniversary present!
523
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,043
(alarm ringing)
524
00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:01,451
Oh my, I see we've
already sold out
525
00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:03,023
of this item in record time.
526
00:18:03,081 --> 00:18:05,451
Callers, please, uh, just
hang up your phone...
527
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,417
Uh, excuse me, Nan! I'm...
528
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:09,656
getting a message from
Phil in the warehouse. What?
529
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:14,526
He says he has room
for 50 more orders!
530
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,833
50 more?
531
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:18,532
The response has
been overwhelming.
532
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:19,827
And I've pitched the idea to
533
00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:22,938
Montana, Koufax,
Dr. J, and Jim Brown!
534
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,341
What a success story.
535
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:26,543
It's the great
American wet dream!
536
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:28,265
This is unbelievable.
537
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:29,680
Why?
538
00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:31,791
Doesn't your friend pay
for the sperm for her in vitro?
539
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,750
Uh, maybe a little.
540
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:35,752
Not 5,000 dollars.
541
00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:37,354
Well, maybe if she
paid a little more,
542
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,616
she'd give birth to a
future Hall of Famer.
543
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:41,485
(scoff) I can't believe
that you talked
544
00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:43,423
Rocky Framaggio into doing this.
545
00:18:43,488 --> 00:18:44,658
Stanley: Rita...
546
00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:47,333
Both: You never have
to talk men into doing this.
547
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,203
Here it is.
548
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:54,395
All Pac-10,
549
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:55,466
all American,
550
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,440
and there's plenty more
where that came from.
551
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,774
Ew, I don't have to be here.
552
00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:02,149
Oh, just 'cause you
haven't gotten any
553
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,684
since the Carter administration!
554
00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:05,212
(laugh) No, Kirby. It's because
555
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:07,507
I have high standards
when it comes to men.
556
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:09,749
All you need is an
inflatable doll with a pulse.
557
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,275
Yeah, right, that's why you
sit at home on Friday nights,
558
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,551
watching the Lifetime
channel with your cats!
559
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:16,694
Why does the idea of
560
00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:18,815
getting pregnant without
having to deal with men
561
00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:20,830
suddenly seem so appealing?
562
00:19:20,892 --> 00:19:21,892
(clicks tongue)
563
00:19:24,162 --> 00:19:25,732
Wait a minute...
564
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:27,567
they make 'em with pulses now?
565
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,073
Oh shit!
566
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,774
I have to call Wilt by 6:00.
567
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:34,014
♪ ♪
568
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:34,972
Um...
569
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,740
Arliss, we gotta talk.
570
00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:39,747
Man to man.
571
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:41,051
Yeah, sure.
572
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:43,647
What's the matter?
573
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:44,725
You're healing pretty good.
574
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,050
It's the first time in a while
575
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,358
I haven't seen you looking
like George Chuvalo. (chuckle)
576
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:50,120
(chuckle) Um, well see,
577
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:52,228
Cheetah's been training
for the Betty Clocker fight.
578
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:55,828
No sex for two weeks.
579
00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:58,864
You know, and I got this
massive case of blue balls.
580
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:00,872
Yeah...
581
00:20:00,932 --> 00:20:02,532
You know, I love Cheetah.
582
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,681
But, to tell you the truth,
583
00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:05,395
I hope she gets knocked out.
584
00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:06,540
What?
585
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,405
I mean, I-I-I don't want
her to get hurt. I just...
586
00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:11,384
I hope she loses
the fight, for my sake.
587
00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:12,743
You know? Because if she wins
588
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:15,781
this fight, she's liable
to get a title shot.
589
00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:16,677
I mean (laughs),
590
00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:18,978
I might not get any
pussy for a year!
591
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,691
(chuckles) Phew!
592
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:23,290
Yeah...
593
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:25,285
Yeah, yeah.
594
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:26,757
Um...
595
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,830
I don't know what to tell you.
596
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,025
Uh...
597
00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:33,800
(chuckle) That's okay.
598
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:35,505
You know, it's just...
It feels good to...
599
00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:37,738
be able to talk about it.
600
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,403
That's what I'm here for.
601
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,705
(back slapping)
602
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,184
Do you know what
time he'll be back?
603
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:50,150
It's a rather personal matter.
604
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:51,345
Uh, could you tell him,
605
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,316
or whoever
represents Mr. Costner
606
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:55,985
to get in touch with Arliss
Michaels Management?
607
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,489
No, we're not a film management.
608
00:20:58,557 --> 00:20:59,927
We represent athletes,
609
00:20:59,991 --> 00:21:02,991
but we have a very interesting
proposition for Mr. Costner.
610
00:21:04,062 --> 00:21:05,132
Yes.
611
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:06,697
Rita Wu.
612
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,195
Thank you.
613
00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:09,806
- What is this?
- Uh, hey, that's, that's per...
614
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:10,735
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
615
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:12,472
Denzel Washington, Yo-Yo Ma,
616
00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:15,307
George Stephanopoulos,
Tom Selleck, Jim Carrey?
617
00:21:15,373 --> 00:21:17,413
My friend heard about your
service, and she thought,
618
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,612
why an anonymous donor?
Why not a made-to-order man?
619
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:21,378
Your friend has
quite a wish list!
620
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,516
Yeah, well, she tends to favor
621
00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:24,717
intellectual aptitude,
taste, and talent.
622
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:25,783
Your friend?
623
00:21:25,817 --> 00:21:26,747
My friend.
624
00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:27,948
(phone ringing)
625
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,794
Arliss Michaels Management.
626
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,016
Yeah, one second.
627
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:33,160
It's your trainer.
628
00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:35,485
Uh, schedule me a cardiovascular
workout for Thursday.
629
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:36,640
No, not your personal trainer.
630
00:21:36,661 --> 00:21:38,261
Your horse trainer.
631
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:39,560
(snorts like a horse)
632
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:42,233
What?
633
00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:43,937
Arliss: He's sterile!?
634
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:45,772
He sure is.
635
00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:48,567
He's packing less ammo
than a conscientious objector.
636
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,380
Are you sure?
637
00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:52,542
Wait! He's only been
with mares, right?
638
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:54,911
Maybe he's into stallions?
639
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,110
(chuckles) Sorry.
640
00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:58,481
Infertile is as infertile does.
641
00:21:58,550 --> 00:21:59,750
Wha...
642
00:22:01,052 --> 00:22:02,552
Bye bye, guy.
643
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:07,986
You know, when Khrushchev
came to this country back in '58,
644
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:10,734
you know who he told
Ike he wanted to meet?
645
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,574
Mickey Mouse,
646
00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:15,272
Kim Novak,
647
00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:16,233
and me.
648
00:22:16,301 --> 00:22:18,271
(chuckles)
649
00:22:18,336 --> 00:22:19,766
How come you're not at the lab?
650
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:22,138
That's why I'm
here, Arliss. Uh...
651
00:22:22,207 --> 00:22:23,937
We have to talk.
652
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,109
I can't do it anymore.
653
00:22:26,778 --> 00:22:27,778
Oh, sure you can!
654
00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:28,953
I got you that new video.
655
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,954
"Sex Trek, The
Next Penetration."
656
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,846
(laughs) No, it's
not the problem.
657
00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:35,988
I-I just need to pull
out of our little venture.
658
00:22:36,054 --> 00:22:38,024
Pull out? You're joking!
659
00:22:38,089 --> 00:22:39,419
Rock, you're okay, aren't you?
660
00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:43,196
I used to say I didn't
want a job in baseball
661
00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:45,431
because I couldn't
relate to today's players,
662
00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:46,497
but that was bullshit.
663
00:22:46,565 --> 00:22:49,125
I called every club and
asked for a job, and...
664
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,441
none of them would
gimme a chance
665
00:22:50,468 --> 00:22:52,668
because they knew
I'd show up drunk.
666
00:22:52,737 --> 00:22:54,667
Well, I guess after
seeing the TV thing,
667
00:22:54,739 --> 00:22:56,139
somebody in New York must've
668
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,538
felt sorry for me or something
669
00:22:57,609 --> 00:22:59,709
'cause I got a call
from the big club
670
00:22:59,778 --> 00:23:01,078
telling me they'd give me a shot
671
00:23:01,146 --> 00:23:02,346
as a hitting instructor.
672
00:23:02,414 --> 00:23:04,584
That is if I stay clean.
673
00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:06,049
New York?
674
00:23:06,117 --> 00:23:07,147
Yeah.
675
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:09,719
That's great! That's great!
676
00:23:09,788 --> 00:23:11,658
Well, it may be my last chance.
677
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:14,634
I don't wanna mess
it up, except I...
678
00:23:14,693 --> 00:23:16,063
Except what?
679
00:23:17,929 --> 00:23:19,799
Well, except, I'm
a little scared about
680
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:21,125
checking into a clinic.
681
00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:23,673
The Rock in rehab.
682
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:25,535
Shit. (chuckles)
683
00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:26,644
What'll people think?
684
00:23:27,639 --> 00:23:29,539
I think it might help
a lot of other people.
685
00:23:32,444 --> 00:23:34,014
Well, maybe. (chuckles)
686
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,109
Oh, one more thing.
687
00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:36,210
No, no, no.
688
00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:37,721
I'll pay for it.
689
00:23:37,782 --> 00:23:39,282
I'll make it part of your deal.
690
00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:41,845
You'll still make my deal?
691
00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:43,954
On the house!
692
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:45,629
Hell, I'm not gonna
let you trust an agent!
693
00:23:45,657 --> 00:23:47,657
(snorts, laughs)
694
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,100
Thanks.
695
00:23:50,161 --> 00:23:51,331
Oh, I...
696
00:23:51,396 --> 00:23:52,556
I brought you something.
697
00:23:53,798 --> 00:23:55,428
("Chinatown" theme plays)
698
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,670
I don't know if you
were really in the ballpark
699
00:23:57,736 --> 00:23:59,296
on that day or not, but...
700
00:24:00,472 --> 00:24:02,072
that was. (chuckle)
701
00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:03,810
That's my 500th home run ball.
702
00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:08,905
Thanks.
703
00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:10,250
No, thank you.
704
00:24:10,315 --> 00:24:11,245
You...
705
00:24:11,316 --> 00:24:12,976
Really helped me a
lot when I needed it.
706
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,192
Was that you?
707
00:24:15,253 --> 00:24:16,153
Oh, hell.
708
00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:18,791
I meant to call you,
but I forgot your number.
709
00:24:18,857 --> 00:24:20,257
(chuckles)
710
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:23,364
It's nine.
711
00:24:25,697 --> 00:24:27,027
Good bye, kid.
712
00:24:31,269 --> 00:24:32,439
Arliss: For most us,
713
00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:34,744
the dream of becoming a champion
714
00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:36,676
remains a fantasy.
715
00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:38,841
But for a special few,
716
00:24:38,910 --> 00:24:41,280
it is very much a reality.
717
00:24:41,346 --> 00:24:42,876
We cheer them.
718
00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:44,178
We live through them.
719
00:24:44,249 --> 00:24:46,449
Athletes are our last warriors.
720
00:24:47,452 --> 00:24:48,822
Alright! Yes!
721
00:24:48,887 --> 00:24:50,157
Two. Three.
722
00:24:50,221 --> 00:24:52,061
Stay down! Stay down,
honey. Stay down.
723
00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:53,473
- Stay down.
- That's it. That's it.
724
00:24:53,491 --> 00:24:55,091
She's out! She's out!
725
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,590
Yes! Yes!
726
00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,231
We leased equipment,
727
00:24:58,296 --> 00:24:59,896
not to mention
refunding our receipts
728
00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:01,425
from the shopping network.
729
00:25:01,499 --> 00:25:02,539
And what are we supposed to do
730
00:25:02,567 --> 00:25:03,897
with 200 sperm decanters?
731
00:25:03,969 --> 00:25:05,199
Use them as jelly jars?
732
00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:07,470
Spit cups for chewing tobacco?
733
00:25:07,539 --> 00:25:10,839
Jesus Christ, we're out
of pocket 50 grand at least!
734
00:25:13,378 --> 00:25:14,708
(music continues)
735
00:25:31,529 --> 00:25:32,659
(knocking)
736
00:25:32,731 --> 00:25:34,001
I'm leaving.
737
00:25:34,065 --> 00:25:36,395
Oh, okay. Have a good night.
738
00:25:36,468 --> 00:25:38,098
Are you okay?
739
00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:39,739
Fine!
740
00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:43,636
Arliss, you are such a fan.
741
00:25:47,512 --> 00:25:49,352
(crowd murmuring)
742
00:25:49,414 --> 00:25:53,254
Announcer: Rocky's been stuck on
home run number 499 for almost a week.
743
00:25:53,318 --> 00:25:55,518
Pascual gets the
sign. Here's the pitch.
744
00:25:55,587 --> 00:25:56,817
(bat hitting ball)
745
00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:59,888
There's a long drive,
deep to right, way back.
746
00:25:59,958 --> 00:26:02,328
Arliss: My name
is Arliss Michaels.
747
00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:04,404
I represent athletes.
748
00:26:04,462 --> 00:26:06,772
These are my stories.
749
00:26:06,831 --> 00:26:10,971
Announcer: Holy cow, Rocky Framaggio
has just hit home run number 500.
750
00:26:11,036 --> 00:26:12,866
And this crowd is going crazy.
751
00:26:12,937 --> 00:26:14,437
They're fighting for the ball.
752
00:26:14,506 --> 00:26:16,166
And some youngster's
gonna have himself
753
00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:17,781
one heck of a souvenir.
754
00:26:17,842 --> 00:26:19,812
(crowd noise fades)
755
00:26:19,878 --> 00:26:21,878
("Chinatown" music continues)
756
00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:14,299
♪ ♪
757
00:27:14,349 --> 00:27:18,899
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