All language subtitles for 15 Storeys High s02e01 Vince the Shirker.eng
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1
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:16,171
One, two, three, tap.
OK, so let's march step forward to the 7V
2
00:00:16,212 --> 00:00:19,102
One, two, three, tap, and back.
3
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:21,381
And again. And back.
4
00:00:22,591 --> 00:00:25,401
Let's do it two more times.
5
00:00:25,439 --> 00:00:27,806
One last time, should be getting it now.
6
00:00:27,846 --> 00:00:30,087
(Woman, laughs) I'm worn out already.
7
00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:32,420
(Man) Here we go - one, two, three, tap.
8
00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:35,145
Right up, that's it. And again.
9
00:00:35,188 --> 00:00:37,111
Tap. Nice...
10
00:00:37,154 --> 00:00:39,680
(Continues, muffled)
11
00:00:45,017 --> 00:00:47,019
Starting to fee! relaxed?
12
00:00:47,063 --> 00:00:49,350
Yeah? Really calming down.
13
00:00:49,390 --> 00:00:51,199
Breathe in.
14
00:00:51,235 --> 00:00:53,966
(Muffled) Come on then, here we go.
15
00:00:54,003 --> 00:00:56,210
And tap. And take it back...
16
00:00:57,373 --> 00:01:00,934
Then we're gonna march on the spot right here.
17
00:01:00,984 --> 00:01:04,033
You might remember this from the last video.
18
00:01:04,073 --> 00:01:05,404
Errol?
19
00:01:05,437 --> 00:01:09,487
So step forward, and halt.
It goes one, two, and hold.
20
00:01:09,529 --> 00:01:11,452
One, two and hold.
21
00:01:12,418 --> 00:01:14,420
- Who's that?
- Melinda.
22
00:01:14,464 --> 00:01:16,353
And this is Virgil.
23
00:01:17,352 --> 00:01:20,356
- What's going on?
- Melinda's video's broken down
24
00:01:20,401 --> 00:01:23,928
and she's a bit fat after the baby,
so I said she could use ours.
25
00:01:23,972 --> 00:01:25,781
Ooh-oo!
26
00:01:27,101 --> 00:01:29,991
- How Long have you known her?
- About half an hour.
27
00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:34,479
I was going round the block getting sponsors
and we just got chatting.
28
00:01:34,523 --> 00:01:36,412
One more...
29
00:01:36,449 --> 00:01:39,180
- She could be a nutter.
- No, she's a single mum.
30
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:44,112
There's usually a good reason
why they're single.
31
00:01:44,151 --> 00:01:47,280
And again - here we go, three taps.
32
00:01:47,321 --> 00:01:49,323
- Will you sponsor me?
- No.
33
00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:52,771
- It's for sick kids.
- Good.
34
00:01:52,817 --> 00:01:55,024
Let's go - one, two, three tap, arms up.
35
00:01:55,063 --> 00:01:57,384
Hurry Take it back.
36
00:01:58,554 --> 00:02:01,160
One last time. Here we go.
37
00:02:01,202 --> 00:02:03,204
Drop and tap.
38
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,855
You haven't fed him
any of that egg-fried rice, have you?
39
00:02:06,898 --> 00:02:10,186
The rice - it bungs 'em up, it gives 'em cramps.
40
00:02:10,228 --> 00:02:13,755
Jesus Christ, I'll have to check the bedding.
41
00:02:17,891 --> 00:02:19,302
Ryan?
42
00:02:22,785 --> 00:02:25,709
Jesus Christ! He's escaped!
43
00:02:27,238 --> 00:02:30,242
She says thanks very much
for lending the video.
44
00:02:30,287 --> 00:02:32,289
See? I can be nice.
45
00:02:33,056 --> 00:02:35,582
I wouldn't call it nice.
46
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:38,832
All right, not nice. It was accurate. Hm.
47
00:02:38,873 --> 00:02:40,875
She was in tears.
48
00:02:41,922 --> 00:02:46,723
That was sweat. Anyway, you can't dance round
a stranger's house in your pants
49
00:02:46,776 --> 00:02:48,778
and not expect a few comments.
50
00:02:49,464 --> 00:02:51,751
Ryan...comes out the cage.
51
00:02:51,791 --> 00:02:54,715
What's the first thing he needs? Warmth.
52
00:02:56,765 --> 00:03:00,292
The sofa. Jesus Christ, he's in the sofa!
53
00:03:00,336 --> 00:03:04,227
Move! Move!
He-He-He's gone down the back of the sofa!
54
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:08,273
I'm going in!
Hang on a minute...I'm coming, Ryan!
55
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,846
He's gone down the back of the... He's...
56
00:03:10,887 --> 00:03:13,254
Hold on a minute. Jesus Christ.
57
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:16,218
Hold on a minute, there's no opening.
58
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:20,746
Jesus Christ, who made this pile of shit?
They've sealed the whole lot in!
59
00:03:20,796 --> 00:03:22,798
Hold on a minute.
60
00:03:22,842 --> 00:03:26,642
He's probably gone in the mainframe.
Right, get off the sofa.
61
00:03:26,694 --> 00:03:30,380
Move off, I'm goin' in.
(Straining) Hold on, I'll move it...
62
00:03:30,425 --> 00:03:35,147
Su Lu, move off the sofa.
The sofa. Off. Sofa. Sofa.
63
00:03:35,199 --> 00:03:38,601
I've got to get...
Ah, it's like talking to a brick wall.
64
00:03:38,649 --> 00:03:41,380
Move off the sofa! Oh!
65
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,701
That's tight...got to get there.
66
00:03:48,277 --> 00:03:51,998
Don't have a go at me, this was all your fault.
67
00:03:52,049 --> 00:03:54,620
- What did I do?
- You said, "yeah"
68
00:03:54,656 --> 00:03:57,387
when the correct answer was "eh-eh". No.
69
00:03:57,424 --> 00:03:59,995
Well, I don't like saying no.
70
00:04:01,196 --> 00:04:04,006
Well, you should learn.
You should learn that...
71
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,934
the only time you need to say "yes"
is at the airport
72
00:04:06,973 --> 00:04:09,863
when they say,
"Did you pack these bags yourself?"
73
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:16,989
The rest of the time it's
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
74
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:24,499
(Gasps) Hang on a minute.
I'm comin', Ryan!
75
00:04:24,544 --> 00:04:26,546
I'm coming! (Grunts)
76
00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:30,436
Hold on a minute.
Unpick that - unpick the stitching
77
00:04:32,809 --> 00:04:35,096
Right, that's worked loose.
78
00:04:35,136 --> 00:04:36,979
You should be able to get out of that.
79
00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:39,865
Su Lu, you bang the other end.
Bang the armrest!
80
00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:43,835
I'll get him as he comes out.
I've got it covered. Bang the armrest.
81
00:04:43,881 --> 00:04:46,805
Get the tambourine. That's it! The tambourine!
82
00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:50,980
That's it, good. Now, bang the tambourine.
The tamb... Bang-bang!
83
00:04:51,022 --> 00:04:53,673
Bang-bang! No, not the...
84
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:57,954
Jesus Christ! Not there, on the side of the...
Look ok, like this.
85
00:04:58,003 --> 00:05:02,406
You bang the end, and we'll chase Ryan
out the back, like that. Barn barn!
86
00:05:02,456 --> 00:05:04,538
(Squeaking)
87
00:05:04,582 --> 00:05:07,153
Jesus Christ. He's made a run for it!
88
00:05:07,190 --> 00:05:09,238
Who was covering the other end?!
89
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:12,439
Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
90
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:15,217
Thanks, Malik. It's for the children's hospital.
91
00:05:15,254 --> 00:05:19,054
We need money for security guards
and a new barrier for the car park.
92
00:05:19,105 --> 00:05:22,268
I love to help the children.
Now you do me a favour.
93
00:05:22,315 --> 00:05:26,115
- Two air freshener, please.
- You bought two yesterday.
94
00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:28,692
In my country they only sell. the spray.
95
00:05:30,298 --> 00:05:32,346
Hey, hey, left a bit.
96
00:05:32,384 --> 00:05:34,591
Left a bit!
97
00:05:34,631 --> 00:05:37,840
Up a bit. Yeah, them two.
98
00:05:37,881 --> 00:05:39,292
(Chuckles)
99
00:05:39,325 --> 00:05:41,327
I love this country.
100
00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:46,582
Sun newspaper, Channel 5, The Boat Show,
titties everywhere!
101
00:05:46,627 --> 00:05:48,868
(Laughs)
102
00:05:50,919 --> 00:05:53,047
I can't believe anyone could do that.
103
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,532
Yeah. Huge, isn't it?
104
00:05:55,573 --> 00:05:57,780
- I meant in the pool
- Oh.
105
00:05:57,820 --> 00:05:59,948
But It ls...big.
106
00:06:00,788 --> 00:06:04,873
It's magnified by the water.
Once you get down there you'll see.
107
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,922
I'm not going - I did it last time.
108
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:10,130
- It turned out it was a coconut.
- Wasn't my fault.
109
00:06:11,099 --> 00:06:13,909
- Well, I'm not doing it.
- Neither am I.
110
00:06:13,947 --> 00:06:16,075
We'll. just have to leave It then.
111
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:20,926
- We could, couldn't we?
- What, pretend we haven't seen it?
112
00:06:20,968 --> 00:06:22,618
Yeah.
113
00:06:23,335 --> 00:06:25,941
OK. You stay here and I'll go down that end.
114
00:06:25,983 --> 00:06:27,792
No, I'll go down the shallow end.
115
00:06:28,751 --> 00:06:31,038
Oh, cos Stacey's here, isn't it?
116
00:06:31,078 --> 00:06:34,639
No, she's not... I didn't even see her.
117
00:06:34,688 --> 00:06:37,692
I just...fancied going down there for a change.
118
00:06:37,737 --> 00:06:39,785
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What?
119
00:06:39,823 --> 00:06:43,032
- Yeah, go on, go on.
- You're pathetic.
120
00:06:45,641 --> 00:06:49,487
I need a part for an Alfa Romeo.
Do you do Alfa parts?
121
00:06:49,532 --> 00:06:50,943
Yeah.
122
00:06:50,976 --> 00:06:55,538
Fantastic-o. I've been looking all over.
Nobody does Alfa parts round here.
123
00:06:55,590 --> 00:06:58,036
- Don't they?
- No, it's a nightmare.
124
00:06:58,077 --> 00:07:01,684
Look, I need an XD14O thrust washer.
You got one?
125
00:07:01,728 --> 00:07:03,139
Yeah.
126
00:07:05,579 --> 00:07:07,786
You got it here?
127
00:07:07,826 --> 00:07:10,147
- Yeah.
- You're a star, mate.
128
00:07:11,637 --> 00:07:17,565
Little place like this, I bet you've got a spare
set of wings for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
129
00:07:17,615 --> 00:07:19,026
Yeah.
130
00:07:24,716 --> 00:07:28,323
- I know someone who'd enjoy your classes.
- Send her along.
131
00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:30,415
I warn you, she can't take a joke.
132
00:07:30,453 --> 00:07:32,660
Is it your girlfriend?
133
00:07:32,699 --> 00:07:35,862
No. No way. (Chuckles nervously)
134
00:07:35,909 --> 00:07:39,197
No. I can't really see you with a girl.
Or a bloke.
135
00:07:39,239 --> 00:07:41,480
- What do you mean?
- You're a bit funny.
136
00:07:41,525 --> 00:07:45,689
One of the girls said you're creepy,
but I said, "No, he's all right, just a bit weird."
137
00:07:45,738 --> 00:07:48,389
What? W-Weird? What...What sort of...?
138
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:53,034
Ooh-ooh-ooh!
139
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,481
- What's he doing?
- Idiot.
140
00:07:55,527 --> 00:08:00,328
He's funny. Oh, I was gonna ask you -
what are you doing tomorrow night?
141
00:08:00,381 --> 00:08:03,430
Oh, nothing. Why, you, er, thinking of...?
142
00:08:03,470 --> 00:08:07,077
No. No, no, no, it's Darren's birthday
and we thought it'd be a Laugh
143
00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:10,967
if only one of us turns up at the pub and he
thinks he's got to spend all night with you,
144
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,936
and you go for a meal
and we're all at the restaurant.
145
00:08:13,981 --> 00:08:16,348
Ooh-ooh!
146
00:08:16,388 --> 00:08:18,390
(Stacey laughs)
147
00:08:18,434 --> 00:08:20,436
Such an arsehole.
148
00:08:21,323 --> 00:08:23,325
You don't wanna do it?
149
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:25,337
No, I'll do it.
150
00:08:26,498 --> 00:08:30,787
I'm having trouble finding
the XD14O thrust washer!
151
00:08:30,831 --> 00:08:34,119
You will do, you will have trouble -
we ain't got any.
152
00:08:34,161 --> 00:08:36,129
(Customer) Hello!
153
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,613
Oh, no, I've told the bloke that we had some!
154
00:08:38,654 --> 00:08:41,863
- Well, go and tell him we ain't.
- I don't like doing that.
155
00:08:41,904 --> 00:08:44,714
Maybe I can go and pick some up in the van?
156
00:08:44,752 --> 00:08:46,754
The best part of this job
157
00:08:46,798 --> 00:08:50,803
is telling some jumped-up prick we ain't got
the part for his poxy motor.
158
00:08:50,850 --> 00:08:53,854
- You'll make more money.
- They cost 32p.
159
00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:55,901
- Oh.
- Do I Look like I need 32p?
160
00:08:59,475 --> 00:09:01,364
(sighs)
161
00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,862
You took your time. You got it?
162
00:09:09,906 --> 00:09:11,317
Yeah.
163
00:09:13,156 --> 00:09:15,124
Where is it?
164
00:09:17,769 --> 00:09:21,740
- You've actually got it here in this building?
- Yeah. Yeah.
165
00:09:21,781 --> 00:09:25,388
Come on, mate, don't piss me about.
You have got it, haven't you?
166
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:28,595
Yeah, er... Do you need any air fresheners?
167
00:09:28,641 --> 00:09:30,643
- No.
- Very popular.
168
00:09:30,687 --> 00:09:33,531
- Where is it?
- Would you like to sponsor me?
169
00:09:33,576 --> 00:09:35,783
- No!
- It's for sick kids.
170
00:09:35,823 --> 00:09:38,554
- They need a security guard...
- I need the part.
171
00:09:57,647 --> 00:09:59,809
(Errol screams, thud)
172
00:10:00,937 --> 00:10:03,065
Oi! Batty man!
173
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:06,152
Oi-oi! Come here! Oi!
174
00:10:06,192 --> 00:10:08,194
I'll have you!
175
00:10:10,685 --> 00:10:13,291
Here, mate - hold that for a minute.
176
00:10:14,617 --> 00:10:16,938
- Oi!
- But...I'm going the other...
177
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:37,520
(Ice cream van plays tune)
178
00:11:04,685 --> 00:11:06,687
OK. Yeah.
179
00:11:06,731 --> 00:11:10,372
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, OK, great. Yeah, bye.
180
00:11:11,425 --> 00:11:14,269
- What have you said "yeah" to now?
- Nothing.
181
00:11:14,313 --> 00:11:17,123
- Does It affect me?
- Not very much.
182
00:11:17,162 --> 00:11:22,407
I was in casualty and I met this really nice
old couple who sponsored me and I...
183
00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:25,222
- What you doing?
- 11:71.
184
00:11:25,265 --> 00:11:26,755
Three.
185
00:11:28,515 --> 00:11:30,517
Vince, it's all right, I just...
186
00:11:31,845 --> 00:11:35,088
Hello. Hello, it's Errol's flatmate here.
187
00:11:35,135 --> 00:11:37,263
The Chinese fella.
188
00:11:37,301 --> 00:11:43,627
No, not really. Look, whatever he just
said "yes" to, the answer is now "no", OK?
189
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:48,766
It's changed. It was "yes", it's now "no".
It's different, you understand?
190
00:11:48,815 --> 00:11:50,385
Good.
191
00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:52,343
OK, bye.
192
00:11:54,151 --> 00:11:56,040
You shouldn't have done that.
193
00:11:57,039 --> 00:11:59,440
Where's he gonna keep all his cactuses?
194
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:03,013
His wife's going blind,
she keeps bumping into them.
195
00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:05,059
That's why they were in casualty.
196
00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:09,665
(Sighs) Firstly, the plural of cactus
is not cactuses
197
00:12:09,717 --> 00:12:13,199
it's cactises. Cactises.
198
00:12:13,247 --> 00:12:16,217
Secondly, you've got to learn
to say "no" to people.
199
00:12:16,256 --> 00:12:20,056
- They're taking the piss.
- Some of his cactuses were 8O years old.
200
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,713
It's cactises! Cactises...
201
00:12:22,755 --> 00:12:24,803
All right, cactises.
202
00:12:24,841 --> 00:12:27,367
He's been collecting 'em since he was a boy.
203
00:12:27,409 --> 00:12:29,696
- (Sighs)
- They're nice people!
204
00:12:29,736 --> 00:12:33,104
And I think I pay rent here.
I'm only just helping out.
205
00:12:33,146 --> 00:12:37,310
They're just some plants.
He had a snake, I said "no" to that.
206
00:12:37,358 --> 00:12:38,962
(Buzzer)
207
00:12:44,178 --> 00:12:46,658
- HI, Chloe.
- Oh, hello.
208
00:12:46,706 --> 00:12:50,552
I forgot to tell you the restaurant
for Darren's birthday.
209
00:12:50,597 --> 00:12:52,759
- Oh.
- 8:30.
210
00:12:52,804 --> 00:12:54,932
I'm really excited, are you?
211
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:57,371
Darren's gonna be gobsmacked, isn't he?
212
00:12:57,417 --> 00:12:59,419
How did you get my address?
213
00:13:00,105 --> 00:13:02,506
- From the office.
- Well, who told you?
214
00:13:02,552 --> 00:13:05,237
I Looked in your file. Sony.
215
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,284
- Why just ask one of the other...?
- Nobody knows.
216
00:13:09,573 --> 00:13:12,622
When I saw your file,
I couldn't help reading a bit.
217
00:13:12,662 --> 00:13:15,711
What does it say? Cos Darren saw it first.
218
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:19,881
I never saw it, he said, "Look at that."
I said, "You clear it...you saw it."
219
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:24,248
It was his turn. I did it last time.
He should've... You know what he's like.
220
00:13:24,297 --> 00:13:27,267
Cos it was big.
Somebody shoutd've sorted that out.
221
00:13:27,305 --> 00:13:29,876
No, it was your medical records.
222
00:13:29,913 --> 00:13:32,359
Ohh... Phew.
223
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,847
You've only got one...testicle.
224
00:13:35,891 --> 00:13:37,939
What?
225
00:13:39,301 --> 00:13:41,668
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
226
00:13:41,708 --> 00:13:43,119
Yeah.
227
00:13:43,152 --> 00:13:45,041
It's terrible.
228
00:13:45,078 --> 00:13:49,163
I won't tell anyone,
cos my dad had one removed.
229
00:13:50,775 --> 00:13:52,903
I bet that hurt. Ohh!
230
00:13:52,941 --> 00:13:55,069
Sod that for a game of soldiers.
231
00:13:56,552 --> 00:13:58,634
No, I was born like this.
232
00:14:00,804 --> 00:14:03,011
I can see now why you're like you are.
233
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,292
Must make you very defensive.
234
00:14:05,338 --> 00:14:10,424
Well, yeah. Yeah, it does,
because, well people don't understand.
235
00:14:10,473 --> 00:14:14,364
You know? It's so hard to find someone
to just talk to about it.
236
00:14:14,404 --> 00:14:18,409
- It's very hard.
- Well, if you ever need to talk.
237
00:14:19,419 --> 00:14:21,387
What, about...about that?
238
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,427
Yeah, and anything else.
239
00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:26,793
- All right, we'll go out for a drink sometime.
- Yeah.
240
00:14:26,841 --> 00:14:30,368
Yeah. I'll see if there's space in my diary.
241
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,461
- OK.
- Plenty of space in my pants...
242
00:14:33,501 --> 00:14:35,708
Ahem. See you tomorrow.
243
00:14:40,802 --> 00:14:43,533
Keeps moving my mat over there.
244
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:45,572
Prick. Well, he's...
245
00:14:45,616 --> 00:14:47,618
See-See you tomorrow.
246
00:14:47,662 --> 00:14:49,585
Mm.
247
00:14:49,628 --> 00:14:51,995
Oh, all right then.
248
00:14:52,035 --> 00:14:54,197
Take care. Yeah.
249
00:14:54,242 --> 00:14:55,767
Bye.
250
00:14:57,652 --> 00:15:00,053
- Jean?
- Yeah.
251
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:02,500
- Dog's dead?
- No.
252
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:06,356
- Her veins are playing up?
- No.
253
00:15:07,401 --> 00:15:10,166
- She's lost her pension book?
- No.
254
00:15:11,092 --> 00:15:13,459
- Frank's dead?
- Yeah.
255
00:15:22,325 --> 00:15:24,327
Are you sure?
256
00:15:24,371 --> 00:15:29,138
You're really? I mean, the word "cacti",
that sounds like one.
257
00:15:29,185 --> 00:15:31,916
It... All right, all right, calm down, yeah.
258
00:15:32,916 --> 00:15:36,045
Yes, well, yeah, OK,
bring 'em round whenever you want.
259
00:15:37,048 --> 00:15:39,050
Yeah, that's fine. Bye.
260
00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:43,861
Thanks, Vince. And you're right,
I really should say "no" to people.
261
00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:47,037
And, you know,
that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
262
00:15:47,078 --> 00:15:49,080
After the swim-a-thon.
263
00:15:50,247 --> 00:15:54,650
- You can't swim.
- I know. Can I borrow some trunks?
264
00:16:03,607 --> 00:16:05,609
Can I have that middle one, please.
265
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:09,989
(Chuckles)
266
00:16:10,025 --> 00:16:15,111
In this country,
do they make peanuts for homosexual?
267
00:16:16,966 --> 00:16:19,367
- I don't think so.
- (Chuckles)
268
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,017
Good.
269
00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:29,643
- All right, Darren?
- Hooray! All right?
270
00:16:29,683 --> 00:16:33,483
Yeah - lot of hassle.
Someone's nicked the temporary bus stop sign.
271
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:38,257
The bus went straight past, people milling
about - it's like Glastonbury/ out there.
272
00:16:38,309 --> 00:16:40,710
Ahh. Happy birthday.
273
00:16:40,756 --> 00:16:43,202
Yeah, do you want a drink?
274
00:16:43,243 --> 00:16:45,245
No, Let's get something to eat.
275
00:16:45,289 --> 00:16:47,576
Where ls everyone?
276
00:16:47,616 --> 00:16:51,098
I don't think they're turning up.
I'm Late, and I bothered.
277
00:16:51,147 --> 00:16:53,149
It's just me and you.
278
00:16:53,193 --> 00:16:57,198
Well, I've got a pint, you know,
give it a couple of minutes.
279
00:16:57,245 --> 00:16:59,134
All right.
280
00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:11,649
- Come on, they're not coming.
- They might.
281
00:17:11,687 --> 00:17:14,452
They're not. Well, they said they're not.
282
00:17:14,496 --> 00:17:16,498
“ Who?
' Everybody,
283
00:17:17,545 --> 00:17:19,149
S1111;
284
00:17:19,189 --> 00:17:22,477
- Mm.
- Well..give it a couple more minutes anyway.
285
00:17:28,096 --> 00:17:31,737
- Come on, Let's get something to eat.
- What do you want, a cum]?
286
00:17:31,787 --> 00:17:34,552
- No, I fancy Italian.
- What about a really hot cum]?
287
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,485
- I said I fancy Italian.
- I want something spicy.
288
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:40,209
- I want something cheesy.
- I don't like pasta.
289
00:17:40,252 --> 00:17:42,459
- I don't like rice.
- It's my birthday.
290
00:17:42,498 --> 00:17:45,786
- I'm the only one who turned up.
- We'll have Italian then.
291
00:17:45,828 --> 00:17:47,876
- Right.
- Good.
292
00:17:47,954 --> 00:17:51,720
Wanna know a good restaurant?
Try that Chinese down the road.
293
00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:54,451
- Blindin', it is.
- You want good food?
294
00:17:54,494 --> 00:17:56,974
You go to my brother's restaurant.
295
00:17:57,021 --> 00:18:01,231
Tell them you Mehmet's friend,
you get free drinks. They have belly dancers.
296
00:18:01,274 --> 00:18:05,040
- We're having Italian.
- Free drinks, belly dancers, you know...
297
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:08,214
If we don't have Italian, I'm going home.
That's it.
298
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:11,622
- All right, we'll have Italian.
- Right.
299
00:18:11,664 --> 00:18:13,666
- I'm just going to the toilet.
- Oh!
300
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:26,466
All right, Tom? Do us a Lager, will you, mate?
301
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,235
Ronnie been in?
302
00:18:33,007 --> 00:18:35,374
OI - you, innit?
303
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:38,577
- You nicked my coat!
- No, I left it... Didn't you get it?
304
00:18:38,624 --> 00:18:43,232
- It was in the restaurant.
- You what?! Oi! Hey, get back 'ere!
305
00:18:45,484 --> 00:18:47,486
It's in the restaurant!
306
00:18:48,453 --> 00:18:49,454
0l!
307
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,624
- Still not here yet?
- Nah.
308
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,530
Look, mate, it's in the... Oh fuck!
309
00:19:00,569 --> 00:19:01,980
Oh, fuck!
310
00:19:02,013 --> 00:19:05,381
- Can we order starters? I'm starving.
- They'll. be here soon.
311
00:19:05,423 --> 00:19:09,223
- I bet Vince has messed it all up.
- There's a lot about Vince you don't know.
312
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,242
ls there bollocks!
313
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:21,145
(Vince) Never caught those kids, did you?
314
00:19:46,183 --> 00:19:48,026
(Man) Oi!
315
00:19:48,069 --> 00:19:50,071
How Long ago did he leave?
316
00:19:50,917 --> 00:19:52,919
And the other one?
317
00:19:52,963 --> 00:19:54,965
Right, thanks very much.
318
00:19:55,811 --> 00:19:57,222
Pardon?
319
00:19:57,256 --> 00:19:59,862
I don't talk to strangers about my breasts!
320
00:20:10,695 --> 00:20:12,618
(Panting)
321
00:20:12,661 --> 00:20:15,585
- Well, thanks a Lot. Thanks a Lot.
- Where you been?
322
00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:19,999
I went everywhere looking for you.
What did you leave me In the pub for?
323
00:20:20,043 --> 00:20:23,968
What? I come out of the toilet and you'd gone.
I thought I was on me own.
324
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:29,419
I waited for you in the pub. And then I went in
the toilets looking for you - you weren't there.
325
00:20:29,471 --> 00:20:33,556
Where'd you go? Were you so desperate
for a curry you went out the window?
326
00:20:33,603 --> 00:20:36,766
- No, I didn't...
- I'm the only one here on your birthday
327
00:20:36,812 --> 00:20:38,814
and you leave me in the pub.
328
00:20:38,858 --> 00:20:41,509
- Sony, mate, I just thought you'd gone.
- Hm.
329
00:20:41,546 --> 00:20:43,867
Well, Let's go and have Italian. Come on.
330
00:20:43,913 --> 00:20:46,280
Well, I've got a curry now. Have a cum].
331
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,130
- No, they're disgusting.
- No, it's lovely.
332
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,139
(sighs)
333
00:21:09,108 --> 00:21:10,917
- Come on.
- What was that?
334
00:21:10,953 --> 00:21:16,039
The reason we have to have Italian, Stacey
has organised a surprise birthday party for you.
335
00:21:16,088 --> 00:21:18,295
- Really?
- She doesn't fancy you.
336
00:21:18,335 --> 00:21:22,021
The surprise element's gone
but we can have a good time. Come on.
337
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:26,271
Why didn't you tell me that
before you licked my dinner?
338
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:30,368
(Sighs) I was being crafty.
It didn't work out. Come on.
339
00:21:30,411 --> 00:21:33,221
I shouldn't have got this, I should've got that.
340
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:37,423
I can't believe he'd do that, just let us down.
341
00:21:37,471 --> 00:21:39,439
You all right?
342
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,211
- (Laughs)
- Nutter!
343
00:21:44,933 --> 00:21:46,935
What was you saying?
344
00:21:46,979 --> 00:21:49,983
Oh, about Vince.
I can't believe he'd let us down.
345
00:21:50,028 --> 00:21:52,076
Just like my dad.
346
00:21:52,115 --> 00:21:54,800
- He's only got one bollock, as well.
- (Laughs)
347
00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:59,817
Right...it's a big surprise.
348
00:21:59,857 --> 00:22:02,588
- Yeah, yeah.
- Don't let me down.
349
00:22:07,319 --> 00:22:09,890
Coat's in the restaurant! Hey?
350
00:22:12,334 --> 00:22:13,984
@]=©UU
351
00:22:14,019 --> 00:22:16,021
(All cheering)
352
00:22:18,914 --> 00:22:21,440
Wow! What a surprise!
353
00:22:22,163 --> 00:22:25,565
This is amazing! I'm really surprised.
354
00:22:25,613 --> 00:22:27,615
He told you, didn't he?
355
00:22:27,659 --> 00:22:29,104
Yes.
356
00:22:29,144 --> 00:22:31,465
- Knob!
- (Woman) Ohh!
357
00:22:31,511 --> 00:22:33,593
He wanted a cum]!
358
00:22:33,637 --> 00:22:36,846
( All singing Colonel Bogey)
359
00:22:44,349 --> 00:22:47,751
♪ Since you been gone, since you been gone
360
00:22:47,799 --> 00:22:50,564
♪ La-la-la la-la la-la
361
00:22:50,607 --> 00:22:52,609
♪ La-la la-la ♪
362
00:22:52,653 --> 00:22:54,655
Oh, yeah. Yeah, very good.
363
00:22:54,699 --> 00:22:57,862
Because I'm missin' ball.
Get it? Missin' ball?
364
00:22:57,909 --> 00:23:01,072
- Mm-hm.
- Oh, I got one, I got one!
365
00:23:01,118 --> 00:23:04,679
♪ I am the one and only
366
00:23:04,729 --> 00:23:08,290
♪ You can't take that away from me ♪
367
00:23:08,339 --> 00:23:11,343
(Man) Rick Astley!
(2nd man) It wasn't Rick Astley.
368
00:23:11,388 --> 00:23:16,235
♪ Like a bat outta hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes ♪
369
00:23:17,326 --> 00:23:19,169
- Meat Loaf!
- Meat Loaf.
370
00:23:19,211 --> 00:23:23,660
I got one.
You took the words right out of my mouth
371
00:23:23,705 --> 00:23:27,187
♪ Must've been when you were kissing me ♪
372
00:23:27,235 --> 00:23:30,079
- That doesn't make sense.
- It's Meat Loaf.
373
00:23:30,124 --> 00:23:31,455
We're singing Meat Loaf songs.
374
00:23:31,488 --> 00:23:34,697
We're singing songs
about me having one testicle.
375
00:23:34,737 --> 00:23:37,024
- Are we?
- (Man) I got one.
376
00:23:37,064 --> 00:23:39,192
♪ The first time...
377
00:23:39,231 --> 00:23:42,394
♪ Ever I saw your...
378
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,408
- Bollock.
- (Laughter)
379
00:23:44,446 --> 00:23:47,734
Stop it! You're all being really horrible.
380
00:23:47,776 --> 00:23:50,780
- Ooh!
- Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
381
00:23:50,825 --> 00:23:54,272
This is a disgraceful way
to treat a man with one testicle.
382
00:23:54,315 --> 00:23:58,604
Do you know what it's like to have one testicle?
Do you? Any of you?
383
00:23:58,648 --> 00:24:02,050
Do you know what it's like
to have one testicle? Do you?
384
00:24:02,098 --> 00:24:04,100
You don't, do you? No. No.
385
00:24:04,144 --> 00:24:08,433
Neither do I. I haven't got one. I've got two.
I haven't got one, I've got two.
386
00:24:08,477 --> 00:24:10,878
Two testicles, me. Two, not one. Two.
387
00:24:10,924 --> 00:24:13,291
Yeah? So sing some songs about that.
388
00:24:16,661 --> 00:24:20,871
- Two Little boys had two Little toys...
- Oh...
389
00:24:20,913 --> 00:24:23,075
What do you mean, you've got two?
390
00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:25,168
I thought you'd be pleased.
391
00:24:25,206 --> 00:24:27,208
Why would you lie?
392
00:24:27,252 --> 00:24:32,702
Well, I've never done any travelling, haven't got
any hobbies. On paper my life looks dull.
393
00:24:32,748 --> 00:24:35,274
I've been to Holland once - Rotterdam.
394
00:24:35,356 --> 00:24:39,406
- It takes two,
- I told you about my dad and everything.
395
00:24:39,448 --> 00:24:42,930
- “just me and you
- I bet you don't wanna go for a drink now.
396
00:24:42,979 --> 00:24:45,346
No, you're too weird.
397
00:24:45,386 --> 00:24:49,948
What? I'm weird? Oh, yeah, I'm the weird one.
I'm the weird one, yeah.
398
00:24:49,999 --> 00:24:53,287
"Oh, Vince, I don't like you,
you've got two testicles.
399
00:24:53,329 --> 00:24:57,015
"Ooh, that's better, now you've got one.
Let's go and have sex.
400
00:24:57,060 --> 00:24:59,711
"Ugh! You've got one again! Ugh, go away!"
401
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:02,354
Yeah, I'm weird. I'm the weird one, yeah.
402
00:25:02,396 --> 00:25:07,038
It's not like that. Why would you want people
to think you had one when you had two?
403
00:25:08,093 --> 00:25:11,779
I was being crafty, you know. It didn't work out.
404
00:25:14,752 --> 00:25:16,720
Come on.
405
00:25:16,758 --> 00:25:19,807
Come... What's the matter?
406
00:25:19,847 --> 00:25:22,373
You got an Aquaerobics exam?
407
00:25:23,257 --> 00:25:25,066
Suit yourself.
408
00:25:33,447 --> 00:25:35,449
(Banging)
409
00:25:35,493 --> 00:25:39,737
Oi! I know you move my mat!
410
00:25:39,786 --> 00:25:41,390
Yeah?
411
00:25:41,431 --> 00:25:43,433
I know it's you.
412
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:45,811
Prick!
413
00:26:04,499 --> 00:26:06,342
Ah!
414
00:26:06,986 --> 00:26:09,114
Ow! Bollocks!
415
00:26:09,153 --> 00:26:10,996
Ah-ha!
416
00:26:11,038 --> 00:26:13,040
Ohh, what's...?
417
00:26:13,084 --> 00:26:14,574
Ow!
418
00:26:14,609 --> 00:26:16,611
Shit! Who the fuck?!
419
00:26:16,655 --> 00:26:18,623
What...? Ow!
420
00:26:18,661 --> 00:26:20,663
I've got to get up early for work.
421
00:26:20,707 --> 00:26:22,755
Yeah, me too.
422
00:26:24,398 --> 00:26:27,766
- We're having a nice time, aren't we?
- Yeah.
423
00:26:29,332 --> 00:26:32,461
Relax, we don't have to do anything.
424
00:26:34,146 --> 00:26:36,672
I've got a bottle of champagne in the fridge.
425
00:26:36,714 --> 00:26:38,716
No, I really have to go.
426
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,843
- You sure?
- Yeah. Thanks anyway.
427
00:26:43,374 --> 00:26:45,376
I better call you a cab.
428
00:26:49,472 --> 00:26:52,476
- Mm-hm...
- (Phone)
429
00:27:00,584 --> 00:27:02,586
Ah...
430
00:27:02,631 --> 00:27:04,440
Oh...
431
00:27:09,772 --> 00:27:11,615
Ohh...
432
00:27:12,901 --> 00:27:15,268
Oh...oh...
433
00:27:25,378 --> 00:27:27,779
Errol! You going to the swim-a-thon?
434
00:27:27,825 --> 00:27:29,793
(Errol) No!
435
00:27:29,831 --> 00:27:33,722
Oh, good. You finally had the courage
to be negative.
436
00:27:33,762 --> 00:27:36,288
No, I can't get out of bed!
437
00:27:36,330 --> 00:27:38,253
Can you help me?
438
00:27:38,296 --> 00:27:41,345
Huh! What do you think the answer to that is?
439
00:27:46,315 --> 00:27:47,115
(Vince on answerphone) It's me
440
00:27:47,970 --> 00:27:52,870
I think we got off on... Look, one of us
needs to apologise and I don't think...
441
00:27:54,439 --> 00:27:57,539
Hold on, I can't awake fills...
{five written It down. I'll call you back.
442
00:27:58,050 --> 00:28:00,450
- (Beep)
- Most blokes have got two, what's your...'
443
00:28:01,059 --> 00:28:03,159
Why don't you go and sleep with your dad?
444
00:28:03,566 --> 00:28:05,866
This isn't a phone call
I will regret in the morning.
445
00:28:07,929 --> 00:28:09,529
- (Beep)
- Get your motor running, whoo!
446
00:28:10,888 --> 00:28:12,188
- (Slurring) Head out on the highway...
- (Beep)
447
00:28:13,395 --> 00:28:14,925
All right, Stacey. Great night, see you at work.
448
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:15,600
Babe...
449
00:28:15,650 --> 00:28:20,200
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