All language subtitles for 15 Storeys High s01e03 Blue Rat.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,733 --> 00:00:28,724 Can't be done. 2 00:00:28,773 --> 00:00:31,162 You've never seen a ship in a bottle? 3 00:00:31,213 --> 00:00:33,681 Mm, but only when the ship is smaller than the bottle. 4 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,689 It's an ambition of mine. 5 00:00:35,733 --> 00:00:40,045 I want people to say, ''Errol, how did you get that ship in that bottle?'' 6 00:00:40,093 --> 00:00:42,084 What are you going to say? 7 00:00:42,133 --> 00:00:45,648 I don't know yet. I haven't got it in there. 8 00:00:47,693 --> 00:00:50,366 - What's that? - Puffin chunks. 9 00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:53,610 I found this new supermarket in that old cinema. 10 00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:54,972 Oh, yeah. 11 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:59,131 They kept the sloping floor. You don't have to push your trolley. 12 00:01:01,173 --> 00:01:03,164 Cream of pork pie soup? 13 00:01:03,213 --> 00:01:06,410 Yeah. Let's hope it tastes as good as it sounds. 14 00:01:06,453 --> 00:01:09,968 It's brilliant. There's no frills, no fuss. No shelves! 15 00:01:10,013 --> 00:01:13,801 Just piles of cheap food. It's very Eastern European. 16 00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:16,924 Bacon? 17 00:01:16,973 --> 00:01:20,170 Their motto is, ''If you can find it cheaper anywhere else, 18 00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:22,010 ''we'll be embarrassed.'' 19 00:01:22,053 --> 00:01:25,807 If you take something back the manager says he's sorry. 20 00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,242 It's more satisfying than a refund. 21 00:01:28,293 --> 00:01:31,603 Look at this. Blue Rat. 22 00:01:32,613 --> 00:01:36,162 ''All the energy of a rat, trapped in a can.'' 23 00:01:36,213 --> 00:01:38,204 Imagine that! 24 00:01:39,453 --> 00:01:41,887 Go on. Have one. 25 00:01:41,933 --> 00:01:44,242 - Nah, it's all right. - I'll do it. 26 00:01:44,293 --> 00:01:46,090 It's OK. 27 00:01:46,133 --> 00:01:49,125 - Go on. - Dunno what's in 'em. 28 00:01:50,253 --> 00:01:53,450 It's only gonna be some Polish chemicals. 29 00:01:57,213 --> 00:01:59,010 Mm. 30 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:04,963 Ah! Ah! Aah! 31 00:02:05,013 --> 00:02:09,052 Aaaahh! Aaaaahhh! 32 00:02:09,093 --> 00:02:11,653 Aaaahh! 33 00:02:11,693 --> 00:02:15,766 Ah. Ah. Ah. 34 00:02:15,813 --> 00:02:17,644 Ohh... 35 00:02:18,173 --> 00:02:20,243 Ohh... 36 00:02:20,293 --> 00:02:24,286 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 37 00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:26,085 Ah! Ah! 38 00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:29,045 Ah! Ah! Ah! 39 00:02:29,093 --> 00:02:32,369 Ah! Ah! Ah! Aaah. 40 00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:36,889 (Alarm buzzes ) 41 00:02:46,613 --> 00:02:49,491 - Turn the light off. - Ah! 42 00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:51,603 - Turn it off! - It is off! 43 00:02:57,253 --> 00:03:01,246 See that flat on the eighth floor? They're all wearing crash helmets. 44 00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:08,930 - How many of these have you had? - A few. 45 00:03:09,893 --> 00:03:12,453 - What are you doing up? - Got a job interview. 46 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:15,963 - At three in the morning? - It's at Billingsgate Fish Market. 47 00:03:16,013 --> 00:03:20,086 Got there yesterday at eight they said, ''What time do you call this?'' 48 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:24,126 What are they going to ask you? ''Can you stand the smell of fish?'' 49 00:03:24,173 --> 00:03:26,129 There's more to it than that. 50 00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:29,722 First question. Can you stand the smell of fish? 51 00:03:29,773 --> 00:03:31,764 Yeah. 52 00:03:31,813 --> 00:03:34,168 Question number two... 53 00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:36,488 Only kidding. Put this on. 54 00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:39,764 Brilliant! I've always wanted to work with fish! 55 00:03:39,813 --> 00:03:43,806 - It's one of me ambitions! - What are your other ambitions? 56 00:03:43,853 --> 00:03:46,287 Learn Spanish. Sing with Madonna. 57 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,166 - Eat a croissant. - Right. Follow me. 58 00:03:49,213 --> 00:03:53,525 Your job is to walk right down the other end of the market... 59 00:03:53,573 --> 00:03:55,962 - (Errol) Get off! - ..come down the other side... 60 00:03:56,013 --> 00:03:58,481 - Get off! - ..and when you've done that... 61 00:03:58,533 --> 00:04:01,001 - Get off! - ..come down the centre aisle... 62 00:04:01,053 --> 00:04:03,044 What's the matter, son? 63 00:04:03,093 --> 00:04:05,448 People keep wiping their hands on me. 64 00:04:05,493 --> 00:04:08,451 That's your job. You walk around the market 65 00:04:08,493 --> 00:04:11,212 and people wipe their hands on your coat. 66 00:04:11,253 --> 00:04:14,290 In the trade, you're known as a ''walk-wipe''. 67 00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:19,566 As you walk around the markets, you shout the traditional cry of, 68 00:04:19,613 --> 00:04:23,845 ''Come and clean your hands on my coat!'' 69 00:04:23,893 --> 00:04:27,442 Come clean your hands on me coat! 70 00:04:27,493 --> 00:04:31,532 You got the ending right but it needs a lot more passion. 71 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:35,172 Come clean hands on coat! 72 00:04:35,213 --> 00:04:37,807 Give it some wellie! 73 00:04:38,693 --> 00:04:41,127 Come and clean your hands on me coat! 74 00:04:41,173 --> 00:04:43,050 That's it! 75 00:04:43,093 --> 00:04:47,166 It's not a bad job. Plenty of chips, cockles, winkles, the odd prawn. 76 00:04:48,533 --> 00:04:51,252 What happens if the coat's completely covered? 77 00:04:51,293 --> 00:04:53,284 You turn it inside out. 78 00:04:56,613 --> 00:04:58,968 Come clean your hands on me coat! 79 00:05:00,693 --> 00:05:03,161 Come clean your hands on me coat! 80 00:05:18,893 --> 00:05:20,929 - Got the job. - Shh! 81 00:05:20,973 --> 00:05:23,771 - What is it? - That woman on the twelfth floor, 82 00:05:23,813 --> 00:05:26,373 with the twitch... 83 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,244 She's had a breast enlargement. 84 00:05:29,293 --> 00:05:31,284 And she's stopped twitching. 85 00:05:32,853 --> 00:05:35,321 No, she hasn't. Get out of my chair. 86 00:05:37,613 --> 00:05:39,843 - Fancy a prawn? - No. 87 00:05:39,893 --> 00:05:42,885 You stink. Go and have a shower. 88 00:05:42,933 --> 00:05:46,289 - I've had one. - Well, have a bath. 89 00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:49,245 - I've had one. - Well, have another one. 90 00:05:49,293 --> 00:05:52,763 I've had another one. I've had three showers and two baths. 91 00:05:52,813 --> 00:05:54,804 With soap? 92 00:05:56,253 --> 00:05:58,642 Yeah. Hang on, Derek. I'll get a pen. 93 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:04,563 Pen. Pen. 94 00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:06,683 Pen! Pen. 95 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,928 In the drawer. In the drawer. 96 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:15,481 Jesus Christ. It's like talking to a brick... Hang on, Derek. I'm gonna get the pen. 97 00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:28,852 Jesus Christ. Who made this pile of shit? 98 00:06:31,653 --> 00:06:33,723 Hang on, Derek! Hang on! 99 00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:36,731 Hang on! Oh, Jesus Christ. 100 00:06:38,173 --> 00:06:41,768 She's got the fish slice stuck in the wrong way round. 101 00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:43,922 Hang on. 102 00:06:44,813 --> 00:06:46,849 Oh, Jesus Christ. 103 00:06:50,253 --> 00:06:52,244 Oh, Jesus Christ. 104 00:06:59,093 --> 00:07:01,084 Just coming, Derek! 105 00:07:07,453 --> 00:07:09,444 Just coming. 106 00:07:12,293 --> 00:07:13,612 Jesus Christ. 107 00:07:15,653 --> 00:07:17,644 Try this. 108 00:07:19,453 --> 00:07:22,286 - What is it? - Just rub it in. 109 00:07:23,373 --> 00:07:25,568 Woo! Aah-haargh! 110 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:28,969 - It's burning! - It's working. 111 00:07:30,013 --> 00:07:32,368 Aargh! What is it? 112 00:07:32,413 --> 00:07:34,881 It's only Jolly Shopper bleach. 113 00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:37,606 - Aargh! - Didn't think it'd be that strong. 114 00:07:37,653 --> 00:07:39,644 None of their other stuff is. 115 00:07:40,853 --> 00:07:43,003 I mean, their cheese is very mild. 116 00:07:43,053 --> 00:07:45,044 Aargh! 117 00:07:58,493 --> 00:08:00,609 Oi! That plaster come off you? 118 00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:02,848 - Yeah. - Well, eat it. 119 00:08:03,893 --> 00:08:05,929 It's the rules. 120 00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:09,163 You all right? You look a bit tired. 121 00:08:09,213 --> 00:08:11,681 - I'm fine. - I'm off for my tea break. 122 00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:14,725 - Will you be all right on your own? - Yeah. 123 00:08:14,773 --> 00:08:17,367 - No running! - He's not running! 124 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,892 He wants to. 125 00:08:22,613 --> 00:08:24,649 Hang on, Derek. Just coming. 126 00:08:31,773 --> 00:08:33,764 Lovely. Yeah. 127 00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:37,123 There we are. Oh, yeah. There we are. 128 00:08:37,173 --> 00:08:40,210 Look at that. Oh, lovely. 129 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,609 That's what did it. It was the fish slice, Derek. 130 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,644 Yeah. Look at that. 131 00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,684 Smooth as silk. 132 00:08:47,733 --> 00:08:49,769 Oh, lovely. 133 00:08:49,813 --> 00:08:51,849 That's what did it. Look at that. 134 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:58,004 Oh, Jesus Christ. 135 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,487 (Kids laughing and screaming) 136 00:09:14,893 --> 00:09:17,532 All right. Fire away. 137 00:09:17,573 --> 00:09:19,643 Hang on a minute. 138 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,649 Oh, Jesus Christ. 139 00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:35,162 Oh, come on! I need to do better than that. 140 00:09:37,253 --> 00:09:38,572 Yes! 141 00:09:44,493 --> 00:09:46,643 Oh, come on! 142 00:09:47,693 --> 00:09:49,684 Come on. Come on. Come on. 143 00:09:56,813 --> 00:09:58,929 Yes! 144 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:03,251 ? Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ? 145 00:10:05,533 --> 00:10:08,252 Shouldn't leave them lying on the floor. 146 00:10:08,293 --> 00:10:10,443 Someone could have an accident. 147 00:10:10,493 --> 00:10:12,484 They might slip over and go... 148 00:10:12,533 --> 00:10:17,209 - What are you doing? - It was an accident! 149 00:10:17,253 --> 00:10:19,209 You did that on purpose! 150 00:10:19,253 --> 00:10:23,007 - It's an example of what can happen. - It did happen. 151 00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:26,409 You wasted half a tin of Blue Rat on purpose. 152 00:10:26,453 --> 00:10:29,092 You've got a real problem with Blue Rat. 153 00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:33,604 Every time I go to the fridge you give me a look. Six times you've done that. 154 00:10:33,653 --> 00:10:36,292 I don't hassle you. Did you just move? 155 00:10:37,933 --> 00:10:40,401 - No. - You were there a second ago. 156 00:10:40,453 --> 00:10:43,411 Oh, great. Thanks, mate. That's all I need. 157 00:10:43,453 --> 00:10:48,208 Real icing on the day, you moving about and giving me the stink-eye. 158 00:10:48,253 --> 00:10:50,373 - You did it again! - What? 159 00:10:50,373 --> 00:10:52,213 - You moved. - It's these drinks. 160 00:10:52,213 --> 00:10:53,612 You don't know what's in them. 161 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:57,726 That's very easy to say. I could say that. Anyone could say that. 162 00:10:57,773 --> 00:11:00,367 I could say it. I'll say it. I'll say it. 163 00:11:00,413 --> 00:11:03,610 ''You don't know what's in them.'' See? I said it. 164 00:11:03,653 --> 00:11:06,042 Does that make you better than me or me better than you? 165 00:11:06,093 --> 00:11:08,561 Wh-wha...I...try... 166 00:11:08,613 --> 00:11:11,411 What? I don't understand that. 167 00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:14,126 Are you better than me or am I better than you? 168 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:17,245 Let's go and ask them. Shall we go? Shall we? 169 00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:18,521 Who? 170 00:11:18,573 --> 00:11:21,849 Everybody. Yeah, then we'll find out, won't we? 171 00:11:21,893 --> 00:11:27,331 When you knocked over that drink, what were you thinking? I don't know. 172 00:11:27,373 --> 00:11:31,252 I don't care what you were thinking. Just chill out! 173 00:11:31,293 --> 00:11:33,284 You did it again! 174 00:11:33,853 --> 00:11:35,844 (Grunting) 175 00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:47,972 Coming to get ya. I'm coming to get ya! 176 00:11:48,013 --> 00:11:52,211 Yah! You don't like it, do you? 177 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:55,290 (Grunting) 178 00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:00,404 (Alarm buzzes ) 179 00:12:09,613 --> 00:12:11,649 - Off! - Hah! 180 00:12:11,693 --> 00:12:13,923 Vince, I just need to find my keys. 181 00:12:16,733 --> 00:12:18,724 Under the chair. 182 00:12:23,093 --> 00:12:26,847 Apologies for my outburst earlier. I got carried away. 183 00:12:27,853 --> 00:12:29,844 That's OK. 184 00:12:31,973 --> 00:12:35,170 See that flat on the corner? They've got a horse. 185 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:38,728 - In the flat? - Yeah. Course in the flat. 186 00:12:38,773 --> 00:12:41,970 - I'm not impressed they own a horse. - I can't see anything. 187 00:12:47,093 --> 00:12:50,051 You see it? There it is. Can you see it? 188 00:12:50,093 --> 00:12:51,845 - Yeah... - Can you see the tail?. 189 00:12:51,893 --> 00:12:53,884 No. 190 00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:55,924 You can't see that horse? 191 00:12:55,973 --> 00:12:57,964 Look, there's its ears. 192 00:12:58,013 --> 00:13:00,288 That's a cushion. 193 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:02,324 It's a fucking horse! Sorry. 194 00:13:02,373 --> 00:13:04,603 I've done it again, haven't I? 195 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:08,407 There's a horse in there. I've seen a horse in that flat. 196 00:13:08,453 --> 00:13:11,126 I didn't mean... 197 00:13:11,173 --> 00:13:13,528 If they had a horse, 198 00:13:13,573 --> 00:13:17,202 wouldn't the neighbours hear it and tell the council?. 199 00:13:17,253 --> 00:13:20,802 Not necessarily. Horse's hooves sound similar to stilettos. 200 00:13:20,853 --> 00:13:25,051 For all they know, the Supremes could have moved in or Sigue Sigue Sputnik. 201 00:13:25,093 --> 00:13:28,608 Why do you have to be so negative about a simple idea? 202 00:13:28,653 --> 00:13:33,044 ''Vince has seen a horse.'' ''Have you, Vince? Seen a horse? No, you haven't.'' 203 00:13:33,093 --> 00:13:35,561 I haven't said something ridiculous 204 00:13:35,613 --> 00:13:39,447 like there's a camel in there with lemonade in its humps. 205 00:13:39,493 --> 00:13:41,961 ''I went to see Shrek.'' Believe that? 206 00:13:42,013 --> 00:13:46,404 Big green man, funny ears. Yeah, believe that. That's a drawing! 207 00:13:46,453 --> 00:13:48,603 I've seen a horse. I've seen a horse. 208 00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:51,451 Oh, God, I'm doing it again, aren't I? 209 00:13:54,013 --> 00:13:56,846 Come and clean your hands on me coat! 210 00:13:56,893 --> 00:13:58,884 Come and clean your hands... 211 00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:05,405 ..on me coat! Come and clean your... 212 00:14:05,453 --> 00:14:07,409 Errol. 213 00:14:07,453 --> 00:14:09,921 I bet those bass are gutted. 214 00:14:09,973 --> 00:14:13,443 - No, I don't think they are. - No, I mean they're gutted. 215 00:14:13,493 --> 00:14:15,848 No, look. Look. 216 00:14:17,853 --> 00:14:20,287 Come and clean your hands on me coat! 217 00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:23,848 - I don't believe that new bloke. - Tell me about it. 218 00:14:23,893 --> 00:14:27,806 - He's taking the piss, ain't he? - Dunno. One way to find out, though. 219 00:14:47,573 --> 00:14:49,564 Errol. 220 00:14:49,613 --> 00:14:52,650 Will you come and sex these whitebait for us? 221 00:14:52,693 --> 00:14:54,843 - Eh? - Sort them into male and female. 222 00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:57,282 The female's a delicacy in Denmark. 223 00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:59,483 How can you tell the difference? 224 00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:02,411 It's easy. Look. Find a male. 225 00:15:03,453 --> 00:15:05,444 There's one straight away. 226 00:15:06,453 --> 00:15:08,603 Right. Look out for that bit there. 227 00:15:08,653 --> 00:15:11,292 That bit just here. 228 00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:16,328 Sticking up. It's just here. Just sticking out here. 229 00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:19,410 - I can't see it. - You can't see that? That bit here. 230 00:15:19,453 --> 00:15:23,685 Look. Look carefully. Let the light shine on it. 231 00:15:23,733 --> 00:15:25,724 That bit here. This bit. Look. 232 00:15:25,773 --> 00:15:28,924 - This bit? - No, no, no. This bit just here. 233 00:15:28,973 --> 00:15:31,441 - Oh, yeah. There. - No, not that bit. 234 00:15:31,493 --> 00:15:33,882 - This bit here. - That? 235 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,889 No. This bit. 236 00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:38,367 - There? - Look, we'll try a female. 237 00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:43,612 No. No. 238 00:15:45,013 --> 00:15:46,924 There we go. Right. 239 00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:51,528 - See that bit there? Just here. - Yeah. There. 240 00:15:51,573 --> 00:15:53,165 No. No. 241 00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:56,285 The bit just... Let the light shine on it. 242 00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:58,449 - Let it shimmer. - OK. 243 00:15:58,493 --> 00:16:00,484 There. 244 00:16:00,533 --> 00:16:02,683 - There? - No, it's not that bit. 245 00:16:02,733 --> 00:16:05,201 It's this bit here. Here. Here. Here. 246 00:16:05,253 --> 00:16:07,244 - There? - No, look. Here. 247 00:16:07,293 --> 00:16:08,646 - There? - No, here. 248 00:16:08,693 --> 00:16:10,251 - Here? - No, there. 249 00:16:10,293 --> 00:16:12,682 - That bit. - No. 250 00:16:12,733 --> 00:16:15,327 Oh, you'll get the hang of it. 251 00:16:16,773 --> 00:16:19,810 Come on. Stop teasing me. 252 00:16:20,893 --> 00:16:24,010 We know there's a horse in there. 253 00:16:24,053 --> 00:16:25,611 Come on. 254 00:16:43,933 --> 00:16:47,130 - How are you getting on, Errol?. - I think I've done one. 255 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,925 One? 256 00:16:51,453 --> 00:16:54,809 No, no. That's a male. 257 00:16:54,853 --> 00:16:56,809 - Is it? - Yeah. Look. 258 00:16:56,853 --> 00:16:59,321 That's a male. There. That bit. 259 00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:03,890 - What, there? - No, the bit here. Here, here. 260 00:17:03,933 --> 00:17:06,242 - Yeah, here. - No, no, no. 261 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:09,410 - The bit... - I can't see. It's really difficult. 262 00:17:09,453 --> 00:17:11,444 It's not difficult. It's not. 263 00:17:11,493 --> 00:17:15,042 Look. A male there, right? Male. 264 00:17:15,093 --> 00:17:17,163 Male. Female. 265 00:17:17,213 --> 00:17:20,250 Male. Male. 266 00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:23,249 Female. Female. 267 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,329 I can't...I can't see it. 268 00:17:25,373 --> 00:17:27,933 You can't see this? You can't see this? 269 00:17:27,973 --> 00:17:29,964 You can't see that there? 270 00:17:30,973 --> 00:17:34,090 - That bit there? - You can't see this bit here? 271 00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:35,612 - Here? - No, here. 272 00:17:35,653 --> 00:17:37,644 - There? - No, no, no. 273 00:17:37,693 --> 00:17:39,843 - That bit there? - No. 274 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,088 - No. - I can't see it. 275 00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:45,603 Look, Errol. Everyone in this market's gone through this. 276 00:17:45,653 --> 00:17:49,168 No one moaned. No one complained. No one made a fuss. 277 00:17:49,213 --> 00:17:51,204 We all just had a laugh. 278 00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:54,643 I really want to but it's just so difficult. 279 00:17:54,693 --> 00:17:57,127 - Are you winding me up? - No. No. 280 00:17:57,173 --> 00:17:59,164 No, Len. 281 00:18:25,373 --> 00:18:27,364 What are you after? 282 00:18:27,413 --> 00:18:29,404 Me car keys. 283 00:18:30,613 --> 00:18:32,604 I've got to go to work. 284 00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:39,089 Right. 285 00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:41,124 (Strains ) 286 00:18:44,013 --> 00:18:45,810 Ow. 287 00:18:51,493 --> 00:18:53,609 I can't feel me hand. 288 00:18:54,693 --> 00:18:56,684 Oh, no, there it is. 289 00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:12,764 (Knocking) 290 00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,524 Who is it? 291 00:19:18,053 --> 00:19:21,523 Oh, hello. I live across the way. 292 00:19:21,573 --> 00:19:25,088 I couldn't sleep. I was up all night looking across. 293 00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:28,409 - I think I saw a horse in your flat. - What? 294 00:19:30,413 --> 00:19:32,802 - Have you got a horse in there? - No. 295 00:19:32,853 --> 00:19:35,526 - I won't tell anyone. - I haven't got a horse. 296 00:19:35,573 --> 00:19:38,087 Come on. You've got a horse. I've seen it. 297 00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:39,885 He's got a horse in there! 298 00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:42,401 - Shut up! - He's got a horse in there! 299 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,532 - You're right. I do have a horse. - Yes! 300 00:19:47,573 --> 00:19:51,725 Six months ago my daughter had an operation. She nearly died. 301 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:53,729 Yeah? That's terrible. 302 00:19:53,773 --> 00:19:57,686 I swore that I'd do anything for her if she pulled through. 303 00:19:57,733 --> 00:20:00,452 When she did, I asked her what she wanted. 304 00:20:00,493 --> 00:20:01,767 She said, ''Dad...'' 305 00:20:01,813 --> 00:20:05,169 Yeah, I'm sorry about your daughter. Where is it? 306 00:20:11,413 --> 00:20:13,881 - That's not a horse. - That's what she said. 307 00:20:13,933 --> 00:20:15,924 Is that it? 308 00:20:15,973 --> 00:20:18,612 It's the only one I could get in the lift. 309 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:24,289 - Was she disappointed? - She was to start off with. 310 00:20:24,333 --> 00:20:27,484 But now she loves him. She comes round every weekend. 311 00:20:27,533 --> 00:20:29,728 Me and my wife are separated. 312 00:20:29,773 --> 00:20:32,765 Yeah, I thought this place lacked a woman's touch. 313 00:20:33,693 --> 00:20:37,606 - How you getting on then, Errol?. - Great. I love it. 314 00:20:39,053 --> 00:20:41,726 They been doing a lot of wind-ups? 315 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:43,365 No. 316 00:20:43,413 --> 00:20:47,042 You know when you was looking for Handsome Jack the Lucky Squid? 317 00:20:47,093 --> 00:20:49,891 - That was a wind-up. - Was it? 318 00:20:49,933 --> 00:20:52,401 Do any of the squids seem lucky, then? 319 00:20:53,573 --> 00:20:57,248 - How can I tell if it's a wind-up? - Just have a look around, mate. 320 00:20:57,293 --> 00:20:59,966 If nobody else is doing it, it's a wind-up. 321 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,848 Cheers, Steve. 322 00:21:03,893 --> 00:21:05,884 - See you later. - Yeah. 323 00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:09,328 - All right, lads? - All right? 324 00:21:17,573 --> 00:21:20,212 No, don't touch him! He goes ballistic. 325 00:21:20,253 --> 00:21:23,290 - What, that? - That's why it was so cheap. 326 00:21:23,333 --> 00:21:25,324 He's a biter. 327 00:21:25,373 --> 00:21:27,364 He don't mind the little girl 328 00:21:27,413 --> 00:21:30,405 but he don't like anyone taller than himself. 329 00:21:30,453 --> 00:21:32,444 - Get down. - Really? 330 00:21:35,573 --> 00:21:38,770 It's a bit unhealthy, isn't it? All this manure? 331 00:21:38,813 --> 00:21:41,805 I was putting it down the toilet but it got blocked up. 332 00:21:41,853 --> 00:21:45,323 I don't suppose they were designed for this kind of poundage. 333 00:21:45,373 --> 00:21:49,764 It never goes to sleep. Trotting round the flat night and day. 334 00:21:49,813 --> 00:21:53,044 I tried putting him in these moon boots to keep him quiet. 335 00:21:53,093 --> 00:21:55,084 But he weren't having none of it. 336 00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:58,045 You should see what he's done to my CD collection. 337 00:21:58,093 --> 00:22:00,084 Why don't you get rid of it? 338 00:22:00,893 --> 00:22:02,963 You haven't got kids, have you? 339 00:22:03,013 --> 00:22:05,208 Just because I live in a tower block 340 00:22:05,253 --> 00:22:08,484 doesn't mean my little princess can't have a horse. 341 00:22:08,533 --> 00:22:13,049 - Better if she'd wanted a bike. - Yeah, I suppose so. 342 00:22:13,093 --> 00:22:15,084 (Knocking) 343 00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:17,203 Stay there. 344 00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,813 What am I going to...? 345 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:24,124 Stay there. 346 00:22:26,613 --> 00:22:30,970 Hello, sir. I'm from the RSPCA, investigating a complaint. 347 00:22:31,013 --> 00:22:36,246 It's the RSPCA. They don't mess about, I tell you. 348 00:22:36,293 --> 00:22:40,366 My aunty was a make-up artist on the Andrex adverts. 349 00:22:40,413 --> 00:22:44,008 When she was putting eyeliner on a puppy it went for her nipple. 350 00:22:44,053 --> 00:22:47,090 She swung round and it went down the stairs. 351 00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:50,170 RSPCA got there before the ambulance. 352 00:22:52,173 --> 00:22:56,724 They're coming back with a warrant! Some nosy bastard phoned them up. 353 00:22:57,813 --> 00:23:00,930 - It wasn't you, was it? - No! I hate the RSPCA. 354 00:23:00,973 --> 00:23:04,249 They're going to take my little girl's pony away 355 00:23:04,293 --> 00:23:06,761 and then she'll stop coming to see me. 356 00:23:06,813 --> 00:23:10,010 Her mum will marry some rich bloke with a field. 357 00:23:10,053 --> 00:23:13,329 - And a proper horse. - Yeah, one that can jump over things. 358 00:23:13,373 --> 00:23:15,967 One that don't go apeshit when you touch it. 359 00:23:16,013 --> 00:23:18,891 And her new husband will have a Range Rover 360 00:23:18,933 --> 00:23:21,606 and they'll go to gymkhanas and she'll win rosettes 361 00:23:21,653 --> 00:23:23,644 and I'll never see them again. 362 00:23:26,053 --> 00:23:28,521 - Is this your ex-wife? - Yeah. 363 00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:32,809 I wouldn't tear yourself up, mate. It's not gonna happen. 364 00:23:32,853 --> 00:23:36,846 No, it's not gonna happen. Just look after it until they've gone. 365 00:23:36,893 --> 00:23:39,282 - Just for a couple of hours. - No, no, no. 366 00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:44,043 - It's for the pony. - I'm not having that thing in my flat. 367 00:23:44,093 --> 00:23:46,049 Just look at this little face. 368 00:23:46,093 --> 00:23:48,846 Sweet little innocent face. 369 00:23:48,893 --> 00:23:52,488 Imagine it really pissed off... I mean, really hacked off. 370 00:23:52,533 --> 00:23:57,163 Your parents are divorced, your mother's a bitch, your pony's gone. 371 00:23:57,213 --> 00:23:59,204 Your dad's flat smells of shit. 372 00:23:59,253 --> 00:24:02,245 Can you see it? That little smile. 373 00:24:02,293 --> 00:24:04,409 Gone for ever. 374 00:24:07,093 --> 00:24:09,448 (Sighs ) Yeah. Yeah, I can. Yeah. 375 00:24:09,493 --> 00:24:12,610 - It's not right, is it? - No. 376 00:24:16,373 --> 00:24:18,409 - Get off! - Please! Please! 377 00:24:18,453 --> 00:24:21,286 What are you doing? Get off me! 378 00:24:21,333 --> 00:24:23,483 - I can't. - Let go! 379 00:24:23,533 --> 00:24:25,524 You're my last chance! 380 00:24:29,053 --> 00:24:32,682 - Just give him a fiver or something. - I haven't got a fiver! 381 00:24:45,773 --> 00:24:47,843 Oi, oi! 382 00:24:49,373 --> 00:24:52,410 Errol, take that shark to Doc for us, will you? 383 00:24:54,213 --> 00:24:56,681 - Don't forget to give him a kiss. - Hey? 384 00:24:56,733 --> 00:24:59,850 Tradition. It shows there's no harm intended. 385 00:24:59,893 --> 00:25:02,453 Just give him a little peck on the cheek. 386 00:25:02,493 --> 00:25:04,961 - Does everyone do this? - Yeah. 387 00:25:05,013 --> 00:25:07,243 Sounds mad, doesn't it? 388 00:25:32,453 --> 00:25:34,921 So you ain't changed your mind, then? 389 00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:37,766 No. 390 00:25:46,413 --> 00:25:48,404 Every little helps. 391 00:25:50,933 --> 00:25:53,845 Come on, then. I'm not finished yet. 392 00:25:53,893 --> 00:25:56,532 It's still all there. 393 00:25:56,573 --> 00:26:01,044 I'm coming to get you! Ha, ha, ha! Come on, then! 394 00:26:02,213 --> 00:26:05,364 ? Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! ? 395 00:26:40,213 --> 00:26:42,204 Oi! Is that for me? 396 00:26:42,253 --> 00:26:44,209 Put it on the slab. 397 00:26:49,053 --> 00:26:51,203 Oi! Where's my kiss? 398 00:26:51,253 --> 00:26:53,244 I thought it was a wind-up! 399 00:26:53,293 --> 00:26:56,729 No. Everybody does it. It's tradition! 400 00:26:58,133 --> 00:27:00,886 That other bloke didn't give you a kiss. 401 00:27:00,933 --> 00:27:04,642 We're saving it up, we're gonna have a good old snog. 402 00:27:24,973 --> 00:27:28,443 Vince, have some blokes from Billingsgate Market been here? 403 00:27:30,693 --> 00:27:33,161 Vince? 404 00:27:35,813 --> 00:27:39,931 It wasn't horse's hooves they heard. It was my wife's stilettos. 405 00:27:39,973 --> 00:27:44,285 Don't you mean ex-wife? Our information says you're divorced. 406 00:27:44,333 --> 00:27:47,211 No, she came back. She's in the bedroom. 407 00:27:48,253 --> 00:27:51,211 - This a picture of your wife, sir? - Yeah. 408 00:27:51,253 --> 00:27:54,404 - Shall I wake her up? - No. 409 00:28:05,213 --> 00:28:07,249 Nice horsey. 410 00:28:12,413 --> 00:28:14,404 Nice horsey. 411 00:28:14,453 --> 00:28:17,411 Yeah. You're a nice horse. 412 00:28:17,453 --> 00:28:20,490 - Aargh! Aaargh! Aaargh! - (Neighing, hooves clattering) 413 00:28:20,533 --> 00:28:23,411 - No! Argh! No! - (Glass smashing) 414 00:28:23,453 --> 00:28:25,364 No! Aargh! No! 415 00:28:26,293 --> 00:28:27,282 (Neighing) 416 00:28:27,853 --> 00:28:29,844 (Munching and snuffling) 417 00:28:29,894 --> 00:28:34,444 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30864

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