All language subtitles for The Munsters s01e11 The Midnight Ride of Herman Munster.eng

[Yawning]

Herman, honey, did you enjoy
the movie tonight?

Oh, it was fine, dear.
Just fine.

[Yawning]
But you know, Lily,

I don't think
everybody at the drive-in
cared for the picture.

When I got out of the car
to get some refreshments,

I noticed people
leaving in droves.

I noticed that too.

Why, some of them
even drove right out
through the fence to get out.

And did you see
those head-on collisions?

Well, that's showbiz.

[Yawning]

Lily, I'm awfully tired tonight.

I think I'll go up to bed.

Oh. So early, dear?
It's only 2:00 in the morning.

Well, I haven't been sleeping
too well lately.

For the past few days,
I've been tossing and turning
all afternoon.

[Gasps]
Herman!

Oh, I left my fur coat
out in the backseat of the car.

Before you go to bed,
would you be a dear
and bring it in?

But, Lily, I'm...
Oh, come on, Herman.

I don't want to lose it.
It's my new wolf-dyed mink.

All right, dear.
But I'm... I'm dead on my feet.

[Wind Whistling]

[Yawning]

Hey, it sure got windy
all of a sudden.

Yeah.

Freddie.
What?

I think we found one.
Hey, you're right, Al.

This is the perfect getaway car
for that bank job tonight.

And the keys are in it.
Let's go.

[Stomping]
Grandpa!

Grandpa,
are you down there?

[Door Creaks]

What is it, Lily?
I'm in the middle
of a very big experiment.

Grandpa, listen.
Twenty minutes ago,

Herman went to the car
to get my coat.

I just looked out front
and both he and the car are gone.

Don't worry, Lily.
Why, when I was younger
in the Old Country,

I was always disappearing
in the middle of the night.

Of course, that was before
I got rheumatism in my wings.

Grandpa, I hope Herman
didn't get any ideas
from the movie we saw tonight.

In the picture,
David Niven leaves his wife...

to chase after Tuesday Weld.

Oh, Lily,
it's nothing like that.

Why, Herman loves you
from the bottom of his hearts.

Of course.
Of course, you're right.

You're right, Grandpa.

I know Herman loves me.
But where is he?

What could possibly make a man
leave his happy home?

Tuesday Weld.
Tuesday Weld.

[Wolf Whistle]

If there's anything I can't stand,
it's a bigmouthed raven.

Hey, Al, where we gonna
pick up Marty?

You know, the farmhouse.
Then we all take off
together from there.

Oh, yeah.

[Snoring]

Hey, Freddie,
wake up, will ya?
I am awake.

So how come
you just snored?
I didn't snore.

How do you know?
'Cause I'm awake.

I know I'm awake 'cause
I can hear myself talking.
When I'm sleeping,

I don't hear myself talk on account
I never say nothing unless I'm awake.

So if I'm awake,
how could I have snored?

Freddie, do me a favor,
will ya?
Yeah?

Go back to sleep.

[Snoring]

You mean he just disappeared,
Aunt Lily?

Oh, yes, Marilyn.
And it's not like Herman.

He's such a homebody.

What's all the excitement?
Did Grandpa blow himself up again?

[Laughs]
Of course not.

We can't have fun and games
all the time.

Eddie, this doesn't concern you.

Marilyn, will you
take him back upstairs
and put him to bed?

Come on, Eddie.
But gee, I wanna hear
what's going on.

Is it okay if I leave the lid open?

We'll see, Eddie.

Is it okay if I leave
the top half of the lid open?

[Creaking]

Lily, who are you phoning?

Well, I'm not gonna just sit by
and... and do nothing.

- I'm gonna call the police.
- The police?

But, Lily, this is not necessary.

Hello? I'd like
the Missing Persons Bureau, please.

Yes. This is Mrs. Herman Munster.

I'd like to report a missing person.

Yes, it's my husband.
He disappeared this evening.

Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Munster.
Could I have his description, please?

Well, he's about seven feet tall
and weighs 380 pounds.

Seven feet, three hundred and eight...
380 pounds.

Well, you see, he's been
on a diet lately.

- Age?
- Uh... Oh, just one moment, please.

Grandpa, how old is Herman?
I keep forgetting.

Well, they started working on him
right after the War of 1812.

They ran into a shortage of parts
at the medical school.

I'd say they sewed up the job
around 1850.

Just put down middle-aged.

Any distinguishing characteristics?

No, nothing unusual.

You'd never even notice him
if you met him on the street.

- Eyes?
- Two.

There wasn't room
for any more.

I mean, what color?

Oh, oh, well, one's brown
and one's chartreuse.

They thought it would match
his complexion.

- Visible scars?
- No.

He has a...
He has a lovely beauty mark
on his forehead though.

It's about five inches long,
and it's shaped like
a bolt of lightning.

Lily, tell him our address.
Our address!

Oh, yes, yes. We live at
1313 Mockingbird Lane.

And-And please, please call me
when you learn anything.
I'm awfully worried.

You see, he left the house
in a... in a sort of a daze.

Yes, ma'am.
We'll get right on it.

Benson?
Yes, Sergeant.

Get out a 106 on a Herman Munster.
The Mockingbird Heights vicinity.

What's up?
Well, his wife just called in.

But she was so hysterical,
the description's kind of wild.

Just make it, uh...
Make it a tall, heavyset male
with a sallow complexion.

May be suffering from amnesia.

Grandpa, they're going
to send out a bulletin,

but don't you think
we ought to call the morgue?

No, Lily. I think Herman was too sleepy
to go and visit anybody.

Hey, Al, look.
The Big Dipper.

Where? Oh, come on.
Let's get in there.

Hey, listen.
I hope we're not late.

Marty always works me over
when we're late.

Wise up, will ya?
That means he likes ya.
Come on.

Hey, listen, Al.
Yeah?

Are you sure the car's
gonna be all right out there?

Sure. Nobody's
gonna steal a car.

How many times
do I have to tell you?

People are basically honest.

Hey, uh, we heisted a car.

Got here as soon
as we could, Marty.
Yeah, Marty, yeah.

Now we're waiting
for some big guy
the boss is sending over.

His name is Big Louie.

He's gonna drive the car
on the bank job...

and flatten anybody
who gets in our way.

Hey, this is just like them
George Raft pictures on television.

Ah, shut up, will ya?

So, why don't you deal, huh?
All right.

[Wolf Howling]

[Wolf Howling]

Hey, Marty, who's this
Big Louie anyway?

I don't know.
I've never seen him before.

But he's a great big goon.
Supposed to be a regular monster.

Oh, yeah, the boss says
he's an ex-fighter.

He's punchy
from 20 years in the ring.

Twenty years in the ring?
[Knocking]

That's probably him now.

Uh, excuse me,
but I seem to be lost.

You're not lost.
This is the place.
Get in here.

Uh, oh, no.
Maybe you don't understand.

You see my wife's coat...
Get in...

Uh, will you please
get in here?

Well,
[Laughs]

Uh, now that you
put it that way.

You're late.
Late?

Yeah, come on, you.
Let's get going.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry,
but I couldn't go anywhere
with you gentlemen.

Listen, you.
Nobody chickens out
in this outfit, see?

[Giggles]
Please, please,
I'm very ticklish.

Will you stop the clownin'
before I blow holes in you?
Now come on.

Gracious.

Hmm. A lot of rude people
in this world.

Let's go, Louie.
Step on it.

Boy, that Big Louie's
the toughest-looking hatchet man
I ever seen.

Yeah, boy, is he punchy.

How'd he get a face like that?
From only 20 years in the ring?

Come on, Louie.
There's work to be done.

Gracious. I'd really
rather not, gentlemen,
but if you insist.

Hey, did anything escape
from the zoo tonight?

No, but he kinda fits
that 106 we got.

"Herman Munster...
tall, heavyset, male,
sallow complexion."

Well, let's check him out.

Looking for something, mister?

Well, yeah.
I'm looking for an address.
What street do you want?

Well, uh, what street you got?

What do you think?
Fits the description.
Says "a possible amnesia victim."

Yeah, that's Herman Munster.

Looks like this amnesia victim
forgot when to put the bottle down.

Why don't you get in with us, mister.
I think we know just the address you want.

Oh, don't mind if I do.

You know something?
I never got this kind of service
in Kansas City.

Thank you.

Lily, we've been driving
around for hours,

and there's just
no sign of Herman.

Maybe we should have
waited at home for him.

Oh, no, no.
The police never called back.

We simply must
keep on looking.

Poor Herman,
he's so helpless.

There's a phone, Aunt Lily.
Maybe you could call the police
and see if they've learned anything.

That's a good idea, Marilyn.

Gee, I wonder where Pop is.

Oh, Eddie, we should have
left you home in bed.

What for?
You know I can't go to sleep
till it's light out.

Really?

Oh, well... well, thank you.
Th-Thank you.

Marilyn. Grandpa.
Guess what.

The police picked up Herman
a half hour ago.

The poor dear
was walking the streets in a daze.

Where is he now?
Well, he was so groggy
from lack of sleep...

that they took him to our house
and put him to bed.

They thought he'd been drinking.

Can you imagine?
Why, that's ridiculous.

And that policeman
made another odd remark.

He said something about
our house looking spooky.

Hmm. Well, there's
just no accounting for taste.

As long as Herman is back in bed,
why don't we head on home?

You know, Herman must have
really been in a daze.

They said he kept insisting
that his name was Louie.

Keep driving straight,
then turn onto State Street.

Gentlemen, if-if you'll only
allow me to phone my wife.

She must be very worried
about me.

Louie, will you knock it off
and do what you're told?

Yeah, knock it off.

Pull over there on the right.
Uh, but, Mr. Marty,
that's a bank.

I don't believe
it's open this early.

Very funny.
Pull over there, Louie.

[Whistles]

- [Alarm Ringing]
- Let's scramble!

Come on, Louie.
Move it. Move it fast!

Come on, stupid, move it!
Let's go!

[Alarm Continues Ringing]

What are you doing?
Step on it.

Uh, but, gentlemen,
this is a 25-mile-an-hour zone.

Move it, stupid.
Y-Yes, sir.

Won't this car
go any faster, Grandpa?

We've gotta get home
and see how Herman is.

Faster?
We're doing 50 now.

Wait'll I get it
out of low gear.

Grandpa, that looked
like Herman in that car.

Nah, it couldn't be.
Herman is back home in bed.

It must be someone
who looks just like him.

Yes, I guess there are lots
of big, strong, handsome men
in the world.

[Tires Screeching]

[Siren Wailing]

Marilyn, you get Eddie
back into bed.

I'm going upstairs
and see how Herman is.

Come on, Eddie.
Back in bed.

[Snoring]

Oh, poor Herman, so tired.

There you are, pussycat.

[Snoring Continues]

Come on, pour it on.
We gotta lose those guys.

Yes, as soon as I make
this boulevard stop.

[Tires Skid]

Heavens to betsy!
I forgot to make a stop signal.

Get movin'! Get movin'!
That way! Come on!

[Tires Screeching]

[Siren Wailing]

Just our luck,
it's starting to rain.
Quick, back it up in there.

We got it made.
They're gonna go right past us.
[Gears Grinding]

Hey, what are you doing?
We can't stay here.

It says "No Parking.
Unloading Only."

What's that
crazy kook doing?

[Crash]

You see that, Grady.
That driver wrecked
that car on purpose.

All right, you guys,
up against the wall, all of you.

Get 'em up!
Nice and easy.

Check the driver of the car.
I think he hit his head.
You're gonna tear my coat.

Come on!
Hustle 'em out!
Get your hands up!

Wait. Now, wait!
All right, already.

Hey, here's the loot
from the bank job.

[Gasping]

What's the matter?
It's horrible.

Don't look, Blake.
His face...

it's disfigured for life.

Oh!
Poor devil.

You ever see anything
so bad?

Not since the explosion
in the morgue.

All right, easy now.
Easy.

Nice and easy there.

Why don't you come over
and lay down over here.

We'll, uh, we'll have
an ambulance here for you
in a minute.

Oh, uh, thank you,
but I don't need an ambulance.

I just wanna go home.

I never heard of anyone
so brave.

Brave? [Scoffs]
Uh, uh, those three men...

made me drive the car
while they pulled a bank job.

I figured the only way out
was to wreck the car.

Fine. You're a very
public-spirited citizen,

but please try not to talk now
till we get you to a hospital.

But, uh, but I don't want to
go to a hospital.

In your condition,
that's the only place to go.

No, no, no, no, no!
L-I won't go to a hospital!

Uh, my name is Herman Munster,
I live on Mockingbird Lane,

and I wanna go home now!

An accident? Well, it...
You must be mistaken, Officer Grady.

It can't possibly be my husband
you're bringing home.

She said you can't be her husband.
Let-Let me talk to her.

Hello, Lily? It's me.

Herman? It just
can't be you there
when it's you here.

I mean, there must be
some explanation.

Uh, Lily, I'll explain everything
when I get home, dear. Hmm.

Herman?

Who was that
on the phone, Lily?

Well, he said it was Herman,
and it sounded like Herman,

but Herman's upstairs.

Grandpa!

You and I are going to
take a look in the bedroom.

[Stairway Creaking]

[Snoring]

Herman? Herman?

- Uh, what? [Screams]
- [Screams] It isn't Herman!

I know... I must have died,
and they sent me to the bad place.

Grandpa, there's someone
sleeping in my bed.

Who is it?

It ain't Goldilocks.

This must be Brimstone City,
a-and you're the devil!

Hippity-bippity, rinkety-dink,
make like a statue
and freeze, you fink!

[Laughing]
That'll hold him.

Come on, Grandpa.
I'm gonna get the police
on the phone again.

Help.! Help.!
Let me down.!

Don't go away.
Help.! Let me down.!

Oh, Grandpa, do you suppose
Herman really was in an accident?

Now, Lily, don't get upset
until you've seen him.

After all, you know that
the police have been mistaken
about Herman before.

I suppose you're right,
Grandpa.

Last time Herman fell asleep
in the park, we had to pick him up
at the mortuary.

[Lock Clicks]

Oh, Herman,
it's so wonderful
to have you back.

Thank you, dear.
Oh, uh, Herman.

Um, I was so worried, I reported you
to the Missing Persons Bureau.

They brought around some big lunk
who calls himself Big Louie.

Grandpa has him frozen
in the bedroom.

Big Louie?
Shh!

I told the police to wait,
and I'd bring him right down.

Do you know something?
Those crooks tonight
kept calling me Louie.

I'll bet that's the man
they were waiting for
when I showed up.

I'll go and get him.

[Keys Clattering]

Okay, Louie, unfreeze.

[Clears Throat]
Come on, already. Defrost.!

What are those magic words?
Alakazam!

Abracadabra.!

Oh, fiddlesticks!

Uh, what round is it?

Never mind that, Louie.

Just come with me.

You're a good boy.
We'll get you all nice and neat.

I like you.
We have a lot of people
downstairs for you to meet.

I've never had such a drive
in my life.

At one point,
I was driving down the street...

Come right downstairs
to the police.
We'll probably get a reward.

Let's go, Louie.
Come on.

[Both Yell]

Where's my manager?
I was fouled.
I wanna get outta here.

What a frightening person.

You're right.

Can you imagine anyone
mistaking him for my big,
sweet, handsome husband?

Oh, Lily.
Oh, Herman.

You're blushing.

Really?
Yes.

You're turning the most
adorable shade of green.