All language subtitles for Only.Murders.in.the.Building.S01E02.WEBRip.x264-ION10

OLIVER: Don't all true crime podcasters
wish they were on the case from the start?

‐ Found someone dead.
CHARLES: What?

LESTER: They offed themselves.
OLIVER: It's that guy from the elevator!

‐ Tim Kono. With a K.

CHARLES: What kinda guy
kills himself an hour after being

desperate to get his hands on this?

Now, the only thing that matters
is that there's a killer on the loose,

and he could be living in our building.

My father was a Charles. I'm a junior.

‐ Are you?
‐ I'm Brazzos. [laughs]

MABEL: Me and my Hardy Boys,
we would get into solving mysteries

around the complex.
CHARLES: And your Hardy Boys,

where are they now?

‐ Looks like you arrested
the wrong guy, Detective.

‐ Spare me the innocent act, Zeus.

I got you dead‐to‐rights.

‐ And I got 20 eyewitnesses who say

I was at my niece's baptism last night.

[emotionally]
It was a beautiful service.

Only wish my mother was alive to see it.

‐ Your lies might fool some people,
Zeus, but not me.

I'm not some dumb cop you see on TV.

I'm not Kojak.

I'm not Tubbs.

I'm Brazzos.

[on computer]: This sends the
investigation into a whole new direction.

By the way, I'm not calling
you Zeus anymore.

That's your street name.

I don't call anyone by their street name.
I call you by your real name...

Mario Furstenberg.

Oh, you think you're so special
because you had a rough dad.

Let me tell you a little bit about my dad.

It was the most constant refrain

of my childhood. How much I was like him.

"You're the spitting
image of your father."

And I was.

We were both right‐handed,
but we used scissors with our left hand.

We could both pick up any instrument,

just play it by ear.

But ask us to do basic algebra?

Forget about it.

But you know,
people meant it as a compliment

when they said I was like my father.

But he was awful to my mother.

He liked to make her feel small.
‐ The fuck?

‐ Make her feel silly.

Make her unsu‐‐
[click, stops video]

CHARLES:
Every person is a mystery,

but to care about a murder mystery,

you need to care about the person
who was murdered.

Who is Tim Kono?
[elevator dings]

We know he lived on the ninth floor
of the Arconia in New York City.

We know he had a mailbox.

We know he got manicures,
or perhaps he just had

naturally pleasing nail beds.

This is terrible.
‐ Oh, I know. I literally feel myself

aging when I listen to you.

‐ It's your writing! I mean,
you don't know anything about the guy,

so you're just saying the obvious.

[gasps] It's so hot in here.

"He was some sort of mixed Asian,

"Japanese, Korean, or Chinese,

maybe Indonesian?"
‐ Look, I am trying to target

an entire continent here.

That's four billion potential listeners.

Ah, you're welcome.
‐ So hot in here.

Do we have to do this in a closet?

‐ [laughs] Well, now
you sound like Patti LuPone.

No, no. The acoustics are better.

And trust me, you need acoustics.

[muffled]: Give me one more read. Come on.
And have lots of fun with it.

CHARLES:
I'm about to pass out!

Oh! How did you get here?

‐ It was open.
‐ I don't lock my door.

Never have.
‐ That's insane.

‐ Neighborly.
MABEL: I mean, a murderer

probably lives in the building,

but I guess old white guys
are only afraid of

colon cancer and societal change.

Sad.

‐ A murderer doesn't probably
live in the building.

A murderer definitely
lives in the building!

Lester checked all the security footage,

and no one unknown to him came in or out

during the hours around Tim's murder.

‐ Isn't that great? For the podcast?
‐ So,

Mabel, tell us.

Did you learn anything from
the online world of Tim Kono?

‐ He didn't post much in his online world.

He seems to have had
a really sad, quiet life.

‐ You checked all the websites?

‐ Yep. All the websites.

‐ Well, we've exhausted the internet.

Oh! Before I forget,

we should keep all our
evidence in one place,

so I should probably hang
onto that engagement ring.

‐ Why do you get to hang onto it?

Don't you trust me, Brazzos?

‐ It's our biggest clue.
We lose that, we've got nothing.

‐ It's at my apartment.
I'll give it to you later.

‐ Okay, guys, I‐I need you two to hear me.

Our podcast is never going to pop

until we know who is Tim Kono.

‐ Who was Tim Kono.

‐ Yeah, well, I've already named
the episode Who Is Tim Kono,

so it's...
‐ Wait a minute!

When did we finish episode one?
OLIVER: Dude,

it's called a work in progress!

Look, every great episode two

always makes you care
deeply for the victim.

CHARLES:
Ah, that's true. I've fallen in love

with so many dead people.
‐ You either make them sympathetic

or sexy or interesting, none of which

I feel for Tim Kono, so.
‐ Look,

someone in this building
had to have known him.

We find that one person,

and all this cracks open.
OLIVER: Mm‐hmm.

[elevator dings]
TIM: Back off, Mabel.

You can't disappear for 10 years,

and then show up and start dragging up
a bunch of shit from when we were kids.

‐ Oscar's getting out, Tim.

You can make things right.
You know what happened that night.

You didn't even say anything.

‐ Look, if this is all
you came back for...

I don't want to think about back then.

I'm a different person now.

‐ Jesus. We are different.

And I don't need people
like you in my life.

‐ Fine. Good. So...

if you see me 'round the building,
act like you don't know me

because you don't.
‐ Happily. Fuck you.

What if Tim was a dick?

‐ Hm. That's a definite angle.

I mean, I wouldn't want him to be dickier
than Steve Carell in The Office.

I‐I'd still care if Steve Carell
in The Office got murdered.

Or would I?

Thinking, thinking, visualizing.

This is tough.
‐ We need to find someone who knew him.

‐ [sighs] Here's an idea.

It's a long shot, but they're
holding a memorial for Tim Kono

in the lobby in 10 minutes.

Maybe we learn something there.

‐ God, she's good.

CHARLES:
Wow. Good turnout.

I don't know any of these people.

‐ Oh my god, there's food! Fantastic!

‐ No sneeze guard, no thank you.

Might as well lick the fingers
of every person in the building.

‐ Teddy Dimas lives on six.

Owns Dimas' Delis.

Great guy, great dips.

Deaf son. Mm!
[crunch]

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Mm! You know, this is all I eat.

Dips for dinner. I bet I have not had

a regular entrée for years.

Granted, I've lost 14 pounds
and a significant amount of hair,

but it's totally worth it.

‐ I'm gonna go sit down.

‐ Why the fuck is everyone standing?

You see these chairs?
What do you think they might be for?

[guests murmuring]
Come on! Come on!

This won't take long
unless you make it take long!

Now‐‐
‐ Uh, Bunny, if I may.

‐ Oh Jesus.

‐ I'm Dr. Grover Stanley, and I'm sure

we're all grieving the loss of Tim Kono.

If‐if you need to talk privately

about Tim or whatever,

I live on six, and I take Venmo.
[murmuring]

‐ Ooh. A therapist is
always a fun suspect.

Plus, he's desperate. Always good.
BUNNY: Due to

the shocking nature of this incident,

I'm told we need to do this...

for some bullshit insurance purposes.

The family's in Japan,

where the body is already being flown,

so... um, does anybody have anything

they would like to share

about Tim Kono?

‐ Here we go.

Time for the killer to make himself known.

[whispers]
That was from my show.

BUNNY:
A lovely memory?

A kindness?
[yawns]

Anyone?

Yes.
‐ Does this mean

we get to use our fireplaces again?

‐ Yeah, he was the guy
with bad asthma, right?

Since he's dead, we should
be able to use them now.

‐ We can talk fireplaces
at our next board meeting.

‐ Wait, Tim was the reason
we couldn't use our fireplaces?

I hated that guy.
NEIGHBOR: He ruined Christmas!

‐ He once yelled at me.
He once yelled at me

for smoking outside!
BUNNY: Look,

nobody liked him, but can
we all just be grateful he's gone?

Say something nice and move on! Shit.

‐ Uh, excuse me.
[chair scraping]

That apartment is mine, hm?

I lived next to that miserable man

for eight years,
and I need those extra rooms.

‐ Well, yes, Ms. Idoko.
We have you down on the waiting list‐‐

‐ Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
There is no waiting list.

The apartment is mine.

‐ Wouldn't be the first New Yorker
to kill for good real estate.

Excuse me?

Were you close with Tim?

‐ And do you consent to being recorded?

Just say anything to agree.

‐ No, please.
‐ Thanks, perfect.

Last night...

Sorry.
Last night my cat, Evelyn, died.

I'm sorry, I can't‐‐
I don't like doing this.

‐ Time, please.
Thank you. We're gonna cut.

Um, I like the emotion.

Keep that, but I kinda need
you to enunciate better.

Do you have anything?
‐ The crying is covering the dialogue.

‐ Oh, that's a good‐‐ that's a good note.
Okay. So, try it again,

and it's kind of, in a weird way,

an upbeat story.
So just, when you're ready,

and... action.

‐ My cat,

my beautiful Evelyn...

she died last night.

‐ Your cat?
‐ Mm‐hmm.

NEIGHBOR:
Howard?

Did you say Evelyn died?

‐ Yes. Last night.
[neighbor gasps]

‐ Oh...
[Howard crying]

‐ What's wrong, Howard?

[murmuring]
‐ Evelyn died. The sweet blond tabby

who used to come visiting
through all the window boxes.

Evelyn? Oh no!
She died?

‐ Yes! Evelyn is dead!

‐ Yeah, I'm sure we're all grieving
the death of our dear Evelyn,

and just a quick reminder.

I live on six and Venmo.

‐ Maybe we should make
a podcast about Evelyn.

‐ [singing] Dips for dinner.

‐ So, our victim is
less likable than a dead cat.

‐ Hey, you know what?
I think we should talk to Ursula.

‐ The sea witch?
‐ No, no, no. The building manager.

If anyone has information
on Tim, she does.

‐ Oliver?

Can I speak with you?
‐ Of course, Bun Bun.

First of all, let me say,
you look fantastic.

You gotta give me the name of your guy.

You look like a damn kid.

‐ Mm. Your building fees
are eight months past due.

This is your final notice
before the board will be forced

to take drastic actions.
‐ I‐‐ B‐Bunny, w‐we're friends,

and‐‐
‐ That's why I'm using a friendly tone.

Don't fuck with me, OIiver.

‐ Mm, I can't think of
anything less pleasant.

‐ That makes two of us.

‐ I didn't cry that much
when my mother died.

‐ Is that true, or are you lying?

‐ Why would I lie
about something like that?

I don't know what I'm supposed
to do right now...

‐ I'm totally migraining.
You guys meet the sea witch without me.

‐ What did you say to her?
‐ Just making conversation.

‐ Mm. Not your thing.

Grab those, won't you? [sighs]

And that tray, too.

Hi.

I'm not sure why I'm doing this.

Maybe it's because nobody
gave a shit about Tim,

and I want something on record in case...

Who is Tim Kono?

Who was?

I met him here, at the Arconia,
when we were 10.

I interrupted a game
he had to play every day.

‐ I don't know you.

I know everyone who
lives in this building.

‐ I don't live in this building.
My aunt does.

Salma Ramirez.

‐ 12A. I like her.

She gives out whole
candy bars on Halloween.

‐ I live on Long Island where they
give out loose cigarettes and lighters.

‐ Yeah. You look pretty poor.

MABEL: It's true Tim didn't
get along with a lot of people.

‐ What are you drawing?
‐ The beach near my house.

MABEL:
He was direct, but he never lied.

‐ It's not very good.

MABEL:
Maybe that's why I liked him.

‐ You reading that?

‐ No. I'm too poor to read.

It's about two brothers
who solve crimes in Bayport,

where I live. It's a whole series.

They're cool, even though they're old.

MABEL: We'd spend a few weeks together
every summer and winter break

when my aunt would let me stay with her,

and I could pretend
I lived in the Arconia.

And we could be the Hardy Boys...

solving mysteries we'd make up
around Tim's apartment.

For years, it was just me and Tim.

Until we met Oscar and Zoe.

Oscar was the super's kid.

Zoe got Oscar to copy his dad's keys

so we could "Hardy Boy"
in any apartment we wanted

when the owners were out of town.
[keys jingling]

Zoe's family had the whole 11th floor,

but that wasn't enough for her.
ZOE: Yes!

Full meds cabinet.
We are camping here tonight, kids!

MABEL: Zoe was the life of the party.
‐ Jackpot!

Here, take this, baby.
MABEL: But sometimes,

she took things too far.

It was fun, mostly.

Until the end.

‐ Okay, remember. Ursula always
had a side hustle she's working,

so try not to sign up for any
kind of subscription box, timeshare,

or complimentary mammogram.

They're incredibly difficult to cancel.

‐ I thought her name was Aurora.

‐ How do you not know anyone?

So‐so‐so you put "Aurora"

on her envelope when you tip at Christmas?

‐ I don't tip.
‐ [gasps] What?

‐ I think it's elitist. I send out
autographed photos instead.

‐ Mm. Okay.

You know what?
I think you should stay upstairs.

‐ Why?
‐ Because I'm starting to think

that people like you less than Tim Kono.

Ursula! My beloved. Even from here,

you smell like a field of lavender
and French fries.

‐ [laughs] My two favorite things.

What brings your skinny ass down here?

‐ Well, I just, you know, I didn't see
you at the memorial for Tim Kono,

and I just thought I'd check in.

It was such a tragedy.
‐ Is it? Really?

Dude didn't wanna be at
the party anymore, so he left.

Do you know how many
complaints I got about him?

‐ Gee, I'd... I'd love to
take a peek at those.

‐ Ursula! It's me,

Charles‐Haden Savage from 14.

‐ Is he with you?
‐ No. No, no.

‐ I am. I see you have my pho‐‐

Oh...
‐ Yeah, it's a real favorite.

Can't you tell?

‐ Look, the reason I don't tip
is out of respect for you.

‐ Please, don't respect me so much, okay?

OLIVER:
Ursula, please, I‐I would love

to look at those complaints
about Tim Kono.

Can't we work something out here?

‐ Well, if you really want them...
[sloshing]

‐ Gut Milk?
[Oliver sighs]

‐ It's a beverage and a business.

First case is 250.
Buy two, and I'll throw in the file.

Buy three,

and I'll fill you in on the stuff
that was too juicy to write down.

‐ That seems steep.
[Oliver sighs]

‐ Up to you. But after tomorrow,

this...

and everything else about that guy,

goes away forever.

‐ Why is that?
‐ What's tomorrow?

They're cleaning out Tim Kono's
apartment tomorrow,

so we're gonna go down there
and look around for clues

before everything's gone.
You wanna come?

‐ Do I wanna break into a dead guy's
apartment and go through all his shit?

Sounds like an afternoon.

‐ Oh! Do you have that engagement ring?

‐ Yeah. It's in my apartment.

‐ Do you appeal to anybody?
‐ Not for years.

This is it.

Our one chance to get to know Tim Kono.

‐ Oh! That's a nice high drama line.

Okay, give me another.
‐ Why? What was the matter with that one?

‐ Nothing, it was perfect.
It was just reeking of your years on CBS.

‐ I brought Luminol and a blacklight
in case we find‐‐

OLIVER: Oh, blood! There's blood!
[splashing]

CHARLES:
Shh! Don't yell blood!

OLIVER:
Is it his blood? Is it my blood?

Are my feet bleeding through my shoes?

CHARLES: That's just your brain
leaking out through your foot. Here.

Put on these booties.
It'll keep you from slipping.

And remember, keep your eyes peeled.

Anything can be a clue.

MABEL: Whoa.
‐ What?

‐ Uh, nothing.
It's just strange to be in here.

‐ Oh, oh, keep your eyes out
for a laptop or a cell phone.

‐ The cops probably took those.

‐ Look at all these past due bills.

Didn't the cop say that Tim
was having money problems?

Past due rent.

Utilities.

He's even behind
in his building fees, poor guy.

CHARLES: People who don't pay
their building fees are the worst.

It makes the rest of ours go up.

Now, I really don't like this guy.

‐ I don't think it's... [nervous laugh]

a sin to be slow to write a check.

I'm gonna check in here.

‐ Okay, well, no pictures
of any girlfriend.

‐ No? That seems strange.

‐ Sex toys! We got sex toys, people!

Okay. Remember not to judge.
Nothing‐‐ Nothing shameful about

deviant sexual pursuits.

Ooh!

Ah...

Ew.

Looks like Mr. Vanilla
took a turn down Rocky Road,

if you know what I mean.

‐ I don't think you know what you mean.

OLIVER:
Goodbye snoozing, hello cruising.

You know, we could get
DNA evidence off these.

CHARLES: I just say bag 'em up
and maybe take a Z‐Pak.

ZOE [echoing]:
Hey, lady!

You look hot.
[both laugh]

‐ I hate New Year's Eve.

It means that winter break's over.

‐ Yeah, and you gotta back
to shitty Long Island

to get finger‐fucked by your cousins.

‐ You're so gross.
‐ Oh, you know you love me.

‐ Hey, where'd you get that?

‐ Found it.
‐ Hey, guys, how we, uh,

feeling about this tie? I...

Damn, girl.

What? I‐I already told you.

You‐you look good, too, babe.
[Mabel laughs]

‐ Don't even.

TIM:
Hey, guys, if it's dark on the roof,

nobody's gonna see how good we look.

‐ Hm, nice slick hair, Tim.
[laughs]

‐ Kono. Get a picture.
MABEL: Yes! This one's mine.

Hurry!
OSCAR: Come on. Here we go.

‐ Goddammit! You're a goddamn asshole!
‐ What the hell are you doing?

‐ What the fuck was that!?

No, that's, like, textbook cheating!

What the fuck!
[camera snaps]

‐ I saw someone fighting with her.

‐ You saw Oscar?
‐ No. Someone else.

OLIVER: Bingo!
CHARLES: Paw prints! Check this out!

Bloody cat prints.

‐ Th‐that dead cat.
W‐what was her name? Ethel?

‐ Evelyn.
CHARLES: This...

This doesn't make sense.
‐ Oh no, no, no. A lot of people

name their pets human names.
I had a parakeet named Bruce.

It was a female, but she had
a very masculine energy.

‐ No.

The cat was here after Tim died.

‐ And the cat died that night, too.

‐ Howard. Was that Evelyn's owner's name?

‐ Right.
[camera snaps]

‐ I think our list of suspects
just got a little longer.

That was from my show!

‐ Okay...
‐ What's that?

‐ It's a beverage and a business.

OLIVER:
All in all, not such a bad day.

‐ And we got a list of potential suspects

in the folder that
the basement photo lady gave us.

OLIVER: Ursula!
CHARLES: Ursula. Yeah.

‐ You know, I think we have enough to
paint a pretty clear picture of Tim Kono.

CHARLES:
Yeah, sure. He was broke.

‐ He liked dangerous sex.
‐ Asthmatic. No one liked him‐‐

‐ Can we not?

I don't think being unlikable
means he deserved to die.

‐ Well, no, no. I think w‐w‐what
Charles is saying is,

for the podcast,
we're still looking for a way to care.

‐ He was alone.

Isn't that enough to make us care?

You of all people should
know how fucking sad that is.

‐ Look, I didn't mean to‐‐

‐ His blood is still on your shoes.

‐ You're right.
We should be more respectful.

Tim Kono was a person.
He was a neighbor.

Maybe a man in love.

It's easy to lose sight‐‐
‐ What episode is this from?

Can I just stream it later
and spare myself?

That speech you gave me about your dad?

I saw that bullshit on
YouTube this morning.

‐ Whoa... W‐w‐wait‐‐

‐ I am so lost here.
Can someone please fill me in?

Unless it's boring, and then don't.

‐ I wrote that speech.

It was the one thing they let me write

for the show, and every word is true.
MABEL: You just...

said it verbatim?
‐ Maybe.

Is that weird?
OLIVER: Hm...

‐ I can't tell if you're acting or not.

‐ Oh!

Believe me, when he's acting,
you can tell.

But you know what, chums?

Whenever I direct a new show,

the hardest part is getting
the actors to trust each other.

And you know what?

That's what we're doing here.

We're starting a new show. [laughs]

‐ We should promise not to lie
and just trust each other.

I can do that.
‐ Me, too.

‐ Yeah, okay.
‐ Fabulous. Now, you know what?

How about we all try a new trust exercise?

‐ No.
‐ No fucking way. Bye.

‐ I'll see you tomorrow!

[door opens]
‐ Uh, so I don't trust her at all.

She's shifty.

[snaps]
Tim, they're sending away Oscar!

You said you saw someone with Zoe!

You have to tell them!

‐ I don't know what you're talking about.
‐ Tim!

‐ Aren't you a little old to
still be playing Hardy Boys?

‐ Why did this happen to you?

‐ Why are you hanging out
with a couple of old weirdos?

‐ They're trying to help me find
someone who cared about you.

‐ Good luck with that.

‐ Tim...

Who was the ring for?

‐ You wondering if I ever
found someone to love me?

‐ I'm just trying to figure out
who you were.

If you were a good guy or not.

Should I even be sad that you're dead?

‐ Ouch. That hurts.

Almost as bad as this.

‐ Why didn't you tell the cops
what you saw that night?

And does this have anything to do
with what happened back then?

TIM: I always enjoyed
watching you figure things out.

[drops book, jewelry rustling]
‐ What the fuck?

Tim was the kind of guy that always made

the sensible choice.

That's why none of this makes sense.

Which brings us right back
to where we started.

Who is Tim Kono?

He liked running around
the courtyard fountain.

He was observant and robotic,

but also kind if you
looked at him the right way.

He never lied.

Except once.

Who was Tim Kono?

I'm gonna fucking find out.