Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

MICHAEL: Hey, whoo!

[LAUGHS]

Come on.Yeah.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Hey, no, no, no, show-- No, listen.

Come on, look at the camera.

Look. Look, yes, okay.[LAUGHS]

Show me-- Show me some-- Come on, just lift up--

Lift up your jacket. Lift it up.

That's all you get.Hey, come on.

I'll show you when you turn the camera off.

You'll show me when I turn the camera off?

Come on, Michael. I'll get-- No.

Come on, let's go. Let's go.

Okay. Listen, listen.

Oh, I will show them my ring.

Ooh, the ring.Hi.

See? Let me see.

Isn't it beautiful?There it is. Yes.

Hi, I'm Havilland Savage,

soon to be Mrs. Michael Simmons.

Yes, you are. Oh.

And this is the engagement ring

my fiancé, Michael, gave to me.

Yes. That's me.

That's me.That's me, y'all.

That's us.That's us.

[LAUGHS]

Mmm.

HAVILLAND: Mmm. Love, love, love.

MICHAEL: I love her. I love her.

[PHONE RINGING] Isn't she beautiful?

She is the most beautiful thing.

HAVILLAND: No. Let's go home.

Come on.MICHAEL: Okay.

Wh-where'd you put my glasses?

What'd you do with my glasses?

MACHINE: What's up?

This is Havilland. I'm not home.

Leave a message, and Merry Christmas.

HAVILLAND [ON TAPE]: Hey, don't go so fast.

[MACHINE BEEPS]

HAVILLAND: Lee, are you there? It's Hav. Pick up.

[BEEPS] Mr. Plenty.

Miss Savage. Happy New Year.

LEE: It's not New Year's yet. Call back in 10 hours.

HAVILLAND: You working?

No, I reached a little bit of a block,

so I'm taking a break.

How's my cat?

Cat? You had a cat?

Ha, ha.

She didn't tear up your shoes, did she?

No, cats don't play with things you beat them with.

Are you joking?

No, that's a fact.

[SIGHING] How are my plants?

Fecund. Anybody call?

You know, men have been calling up here all week,

wondering when you're gonna be back.

I don't, uh, answer the phone, so they leave messages.

Cool. So everything's okay?

Everything is smooth, daddy.

Speaking of which, how's your boyfriend?

Don't know.

The next time I see one of his women

on the street, I'll ask.

Hey, um, if you want to bring your date

up to my apartment tonight, fine.

Just don't wreck the joint.

Thanks, but, uh, I don't have a date.

Lee, you don't have a date on New Year's Eve?

Why not?

That's just the way things work out sometimes.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

All right, well, I'll be home in two days,

and thanks for the housesitting.

No, thank you.

If you hadn't gone down to see your mom,

I'd still be living in my car.

Hmm.

Well, if you're not doing anything tonight,

you want to come down here?

Sure, I'm there.

Really?Hell yeah.

New York to D.C. is five hours, tops.

I can be there by 7:00.

Great. Okay, great.

[CHILDREN PLAYING]

You can stay in my sister's old bedroom.

You know the address, so just bring

a bottle of champagne or something,

like a dime bag.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Unh, unh, what? What?

♪ Yeah, unh

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh-unh

♪ I said I can give it To you ♪

♪ But what you gonna do With it? ♪

♪ I can give it to you

[BELL DINGS]

[♪♪♪]

[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]

[WOMAN VOCALIZING]

[ENGINE STARTS]

♪ I'm too sexy For my motherfuckin' hood ♪

♪ I'm too sexy for My motherfuckin' low rider ♪

♪ Low rider, low rider Low rider ♪

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

[DOORBELL RINGS]

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

♪ Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh Unh-unh-unh-unh, what? ♪

Mr. Plenty.

Miss Savage.

Whew.

8:30 on the dot.

Pretty good for someone who's always late.

How are you?

Just cool. Nice place.

Just your mom live up in this...piece?

And soon her fiancé.

Are we the only ones here?

No, my mom's upstairs getting dressed.

She's gonna be staying

at her fiancé's house this weekend.

Don't say anything bad about her, though, okay?

Why not?

There's intercoms everywhere.

You want something to drink?

Sure, anything besides fruit punch.

That's all you got at your house.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry about that, man.

But you know what they say.

I am the fruit-punch bitch.

Moms has some spiked eggnog, though.

You want some?

Sure, party girl.

So, what you got happening here tonight? Big party?

No, actually, it's gonna be you and me,

my sister and her husband, Felix,

and my best friend, Caroline.

But watch what you say around my sister and her husband,

because... they're fighting.

Why don't you leave me alone?

Why don't you wash your hair,

dirty-ass motherfucker?

This one was taken at Eddie Murphy's house too,

but, um--Was it?

Yeah. That's when I met my ex-fiancé, Michael Simmons.

You heard of him?

Quentin introduced us-- Quentin Tarantino.

Excuse me, uh, you dropped something.

Uh, what did I drop?Uh, a name.

I don't give a fuck about Eddie Murphy's house.

I don't give a fuck about Michael Simmons

is a big-time songwriter.

I for damn sure don't give a fuck

about no Quentin Tarantino.Relax.

[SCOFFS]

God.

You know, every time I start-start talking

about somebody successful, you start tripping.

Believe me, Money, it is not that deep.

I am the one bitch that is not charmed

by your disassociated artist bullshit.

I'm not getting defensive. You're just showing off.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

No...I'm not.

Yes...

you are.

[SCOFFS]

Anyway.

Oh.

These were all taken at David Dinkins' house.

We had a huge barbecue that summer.

It was, like, really great.

You should've-- Oh, well.

Plink.

LEE: And here I am at Havilland's mom's house,

a three-story, modern-day mansion

with an apartment-style basement

that opens out onto a swimming pool,

and an intercom in every room.

Ah, the good life.

Right now I'm in Leigh's old--"

[INTERCOM BUZZES, CHIMES]

Hello?

SYLVIA: Hello? Havilland?

Are you there?HAVILLAND: Yeah.

SYLVIA: Caroline Gooden's at the front door.

HAVILLAND: Lee, did you hear?Yeah.

Could you do me a favor and let Caroline in?

Oh, and, Lee, do you know

how to make anything, like dinner?

Salad.

Hi. You must be Caroline Gooden.

Enchanté, Lee Plenty.

Right.

So...you're Lee Plenty.

What do you do when you're not babysitting Havilland's cat?

You have, uh, lipstick on your teeth.

There you go. It's off. It's better.

What'd you ask me?

Um...

Oh, yes, where do I live?

I'm homeless.

[SCOFFS]

Yeah, right.

How can you be homeless?

Simple.

Six months ago,

I was offered a deal on the book I'm writing,

so I didn't re-sign the lease on my apartment,

'cause I thought I'd be able to get a better one.

But the book deal fell through,

and I had to move out anyway.

You're serious?

Why can't you just find another place?

I'm broke.

You don't have a job?

I have a job as a teacher's assistant at NYU.

It doesn't pay a whole lot, though. Enough to eat.

Mostly I just write.

Wow.

I've never met a homeless person before.

What do you do when you have a date?

I don't really date that much anymore.

Shit. Flat broke and living in your car,

I wouldn't go out with you, either.

Well, you know what they say.

No, what do they say?

No women, no cry.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]

He's quite the sarcastic bastard, isn't he?

No job plus no money equals wack.

Do what I do.

Ignore him.

So why'd you invite him down here, then?

Charity.

So how come he doesn't go on dates?

He's not gay.

Comment tu sais?

[SIGHS] What?

How do you know?

He's not gay.

Hi.

Cool hat.

Uh, thanks.

Who the hell are you?

Lee Plenty.

What's with the camera, man?

I take pictures. That's my thing.

I'm Leigh too.

Spelled differently, though.

One, two, three. There you go.

Leigh, Hav's sister.

Oh, yeah, what's happening? I know you.

It's nice to meet another Savage.

I am not a Savage. I'm a Darling.

Leigh Darling?

Oh, that's right. You're married.

Extremely.

In a big motherfucking way.

Wow. How long now?

Um, since November 15th, little over a month.

Oh, so you're a newlywed.

Yep.

Congratulations.

Not only is he full of shit,

but the brother won't even get a real job, okay?

So when people are sitting around,

talking about how much he's-- How much they're getting paid,

he'll come out of his face with some bullshit like:

[IMITATING LEE] "Yo, one time I fell down the stairs so hard

that when I got up, my watch was running backwards."

[NORMALLY] I can't stand when he degrades himself like that.

I hate self-deprecation.

He'd be pissed if he heard you say that.

No, he wouldn't.

But if he did, fuck him.

Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him.

Why do you wear those beads around your neck?

What are you, a five percenter or something?

[SCOFFS] So, what's your book about?

Uh, can't say.

No, really, what is it?

Like a gangster story or something?

It's like--

It's like a love story.

A love story.

So you in love with my sister?

No. Why would you ask that?

I know most guys are.

Why should you be any different?

Taste.

Mm-hmm.

So why are you here, then?

She invited me.

I don't chase after women anymore.

Oh, right. They chase after you, right?

No. That's why I'm dateless.

Real men can take a drink.

That's how you know I'm cool.

[LAUGHS]

[HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING]

Well, I'm wearing my lucky $300 titty top.

I think I'm gonna make that move tonight.

You sure you don't mind?

Sure.

I hope that's a lucky $300 titty top,

'cause you sure ain't got no titties.

Caroline, he's all yours.

Lee and I--

I mean, he's a good brother and all,

but we got a different swerve happening.

Yeah, he kind of said the same thing about you.

How was work?

Work was work.

You talk to Havilland yet?

No.

Felix, tonight's not the time, all right?

Let's not do this now, okay?

All right?Yeah, yeah.

How's your mom?Edgy.

Once Monday morning comes,

we'll all be a lot happier.

Hi. Lee Plenty.

Felix Darling, Leigh's husband.

What's up, man?

Yeah, Happy New Year to you too.

How you doing?I'm all right.

What's happening Monday morning?

Uh, my mother's firm

is officially announcing to the press

a new partnership she lost out on.

She has to be there as a professional courtesy

to congratulate Francis Rossi.

Yeah, it's a big deal down here in D.C.

They're televising it.Hmm.

All right, I'll make sure I'm out of here by then.

Hey.Hi.

Hey, found a burger joint that's still open.

You want to drive me?Sure.

You want me to come along?

Uh, no, it'll only take us a second.

Ooh, could you get me some curly fries?

Do you want anything?On, and I really want

the vegetarian burger...A grilled chicken deluxe.

...with the non-dairy cheese.

And get me a large chocolate shake. Money?

I'm not into animal products right now.

No, make it a diet coke.

He's wants large fries.I don't want any fries.

I want the mini diet coke.Get him a double cheeseburger.

[INTERCOM BUZZES, CHIMES]SYLVIA: Good evening.

I'm leaving through the garage, so Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, Mom.Happy New Year, Mom.

Bonne année, Mrs. Savage.

SYLVIA: Havilland, Michael's on the phone.

Okay, thanks, Mom.

Excuse me. This won't take long.

Is this the first time that he's called her?

No, he has been calling all week.

He bought her that coat for Christmas.

Oh, really?

[♪♪♪]

[CLEARS THROAT]

HAVILLAND: Michael, we'll talk about this

when I get back to New York.

MICHAEL: Ain't no other woman, they just hos.

Do I look like a biscuit to you?

Do I look like a biscuit? No.

Do I look like a fucking French fry?

Then why are you trying to play me like a side order?

Why you tripping? Why you tripping?

Michael, youcheated on me,

so why don't you go to your other woman's house

and have a good time?

No, no, listen.Happy New Year.

Uh, hey, uh...

I thought you said you hadn't heard from him.

I heard he sent you this coat.

Must have slipped my mind.

[GULPS]

Okay, well, if you need me,

I'll be down here on the floor.

♪ Unh

♪ Uh-huh, understand what You're trying to do ♪

I know what you're thinking.

No, you don't.

You're thinking that I deserve

better than Michael.

Hey, I think you deserve

whomever you choose to be with.

I'm not with Michael.

You got the motherfucker's coat on.

You got his picture up in your house.

You talk to him on the phone every day.

If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck,

it's a duck, baby.

Well, I just might have to make a move

on that little boy from New York City.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I can definitely see you guys together.

Havilland doesn't mind?

Oh, no. She doesn't want anything to do with the brother.

HAVILLAND: My mother is his lawyer.

Of course he's gonna call my house.

Hey, look, don't make no never mind to me.

You can do what you want. You don't have to explain.

Don't say you know what I'm thinking, though,

'cause you don't.

So how's your father? Is he alive today?

[SIGHS] Here we--

You're never gonna let that go down, are you?

They called from the hospital in Michigan once,

said that he was in bad shape.

I jumped the gun...once.You lied.

Why would I purposely lie about my father being dead?

Because you're a sociopath.

Don't even try and turn this scene around,

like I'm the dysfunctional one.

You have problems with Mike.

I ain't got problems with my dad.

I may even end up moving up there.

Oh, what's that? Another lie to evoke my sympathy?

No, that's the dead-up, honest truth.

I'm gonna move to Michigan.Hmm.

You watch.

Small town, do some writing, get over this block.

Less distractions up there.

[SCOFFS]

You're so easily distracted.

That's what my mother says.

CAROLINE: Happy New Year, Hav.

How you doing? Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, everybody in New York.

We love you. We miss you.

Hi. Happy New Year.Hey, hurry up. Come on.

Girls, hurry up.Come on. Oh.

Time, time, time.

Come on, come on, hurry up, hurry up.

Champagne. Here we go. He's pouring.

Yo, man, fill that up. Fill that up.

Here we go. Okay.

Hey!

Happy New Year. Happy New Year.

Hi, everybody. Show the TV, Havilland. There you go.

Come on, come on.All right, all right.

ALL: Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five...Forty-three, nine...

...four, three, two, one....six, four, 40, 11.

Whoo! [CROWD CHEERING ON TV]

You, uh, you wanted to talk to me?

Yeah, I did.

I actually wanted to know

if you'd let me borrow your car,

'cause I need to take Felix and Leigh home.

Uh, s-sure.

You want to come with me?

Uh, no, I'm gonna--

I got to get up early tomorrow,

so I'm gonna get some sleep, you know.

That's it?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's it.

Keys?

[♪♪♪]

Thanks.

All right. Well, I'm gonna go.

So be a good boy.

Caroline's in the other room.

She don't like me.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

She don't.

Come watch me make a fool out of myself.

[HEART BEATING]

[LAUGHING]

She tripped out the door.

I mean, she was so tipsy, she got busted.

Yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

She got boo-yasted, is the word.

I like Leigh, though. She's cool.

Mm, yeah.

So, um...ah.

How come you don't go out on dates?

Uh, it's just the way things worked out.

Oh, wait, wait.

[SIGHS]

I just exhaled.

I guess you're just really picky,

so that, um, when a woman screws up,

you can say, "Oh, I sure am glad

I never kissed that twit."

Now, see, you don't know me

if you think I'd say something like that.

I just learned from jump not to--

Not to put myself

into situations that I might later regret.

Oh, you won't regret this.

[♪♪♪]

Okay. Well, you know,

it's getting kind of late, so, uh...

You want to go to bed?

I mean, do you want to go to sleep?

Yeah, 'cause you know what? I got a big day.

I got to drive back to New York tomorrow.

So, you know what? I'll talk to you-- Lee.

Tomorrow morning.It's New Year's Eve.

We're both adults.

We're alone.

♪ But I want you to go

Fate must have a reason.

Are you making a pass at me?

That depends on what happens in the next five seconds.

♪ 'Cause when we kiss, ooh

Five seconds is over.

Hey. I'm sor--

[SIGHS]

Man, that was close.

He's gay.

What?

He's...

gay.

[♪♪♪]

♪ I got you Heated in the 400 ♪

♪ A slow moment with a payback Sure want it ♪

♪ Ain't gonna run it Till I gain ♪

♪ The feathers going with it

♪ Ain't gonna split it Till you ♪

♪ Thinking that You gonna hit it ♪

♪ But don't get it Try to kick it in again ♪

♪ Maybe then you trying to win Bishop blaze the track ♪

♪ And I just made you Get hot again ♪

♪ Ain't it amazing Noontime hotter than Cajun ♪

♪ All occasions Absolute's absolutely blazing ♪

♪ I feel your heat when Your body's close to mine ♪

♪ When you look into my eyes

♪ When you look Into my eyes ♪

♪ Even when you're on my mind Baby, I feel ♪

♪ I feel your heat When you're lying next to me ♪

♪ Baby, when I hear you speak

♪ Even when I feel the need And you're not around ♪

♪ Temperature rising

♪ Girl, it's not surprising

♪ Really got me going

♪ With your sexual thing

♪ Emotions I am feeling

♪ I need your body's healing

♪ Touch me if you want to

♪ Girl You're blowing my mind ♪

Lee, is there something you're trying to ask me?

♪ ...close to mine

♪ When you look into my eyes

♪ Even when you're on my mind Baby, I feel ♪

♪ I feel your heat When you're lying next to me ♪

♪ Baby, when I hear you speak

♪ Even when I feel the need And you're not around ♪

Lee.

♪ Baby, don't you want to

♪ 'Cause I really want to

Lee...are you trying to ask me something?

♪ Do your thing

[GROANS]

Aah!

What time is it?

11:30.

11:30? Why didn't you wake me up, man?

I have to go.

Can't be hanging around here all day.

I got a job.

[SNIFFS]

Lee, I know you have to go,

but can you do me a big favor

and come to brunch with my dad and I?

Why would that be a favor?

Because my sister invited Alexandria Beaumont.

I need buffers from Alexandria Beaumont.

ALEXANDRIA: So Lee...

you're the one with the motorcycle.

Yeah. How'd you know? Y'all been talking about me?

MR. SAVAGE: Oh, really?

I ride myself.

H-Hav used to ride with me when she was a little girl.

Nowadays, I ride a Vulcan.

LEE: Yeah, I ride a Shadow.

MR. SAVAGE: Good bikes.

So, what do you do, Lee?Nothing.

Lee is writing a book.

MR. SAVAGE: Oh, what kind of book?

He doesn't want anyone to know what it's...

about.

Lee, you don't sound like a New Yorker.

Um, where'd you grow up?

Queens.

Oh, Jamaica Estates?

Flushing.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, well, where do you live now?

Lee has been staying at my place.

I mean...Homeless?

HAVILLAND: Um, with my cats.

Um, he's homeless.

So you stay with friends a lot?

Yeah, or my mother.

Oh, hey, don't worry, man.

I mean, how old are you? What, 27, 28?

28.

I know you went to school.

Yeah. English major.

MR. SAVAGE: Then don't worry about it, man.

Hey, when I was your age, I was broke too.

I mean, and I had two little girls.

I mean, the only reason I wasn't homeless

is because my wife had a job as a legal secretary.

24 years later, I own Savage Software.

FELIX: Wow.

ALEXANDRIA: Oh, Hav. Look what I have.

I was hoping you could get Michael, you know,

to autograph it for me before you, you know,

go back to New York.

Well, you might want to wait for him to do that yourself.

Why don't you call him up? He'd probably like that.

Hey, I understand his album is making big bucks.

It went platinum, Daddy.Oh, boy, here we go.

LEE: "Love 40." "Love 40."

What's that mean? He's got 40 women?

No, idiot, it means

that it's a lyric from one of his songs.

Come on, Lee. You haven't heard "40 Ounces of Love"?

LEE: "40 Ounces of Love"? What is that, a joke?

Lee, all you got to do is turn on MTV,

'cause it runs every 10 minutes.

He doesn't have a TV.

You've never heard "40 Ounces of Love"?

♪ 40 ounces of love

WOMEN: ♪ Ooh, so intoxicating

♪ 40 ounces of love, whoo

♪ So inebriating

♪ Girl, I'm getting Drunk on you ♪

[WOMEN LAUGH]LEIGH: Hello.

FELIX: You see?

You're not missing anything.

"Love 40,"

"Love Beat Down,"

"Gattin' On Love," "Crack Addict."

What's "Crack Addict" about?

Check the lyrics, Money.

"Crack addict. I'm a crack addict.

"Girl, I'm addicted to your crack.

"Don't deny me. I don't like cold turkey.

I ain't talking about drugs."

What?

Excuse me, but Michael is a genius.

Excuse me, but Michael can play 11 instruments.

Lee, look, what you must remember

is that he's been writing music

since he was, what, 6 years old.

He has. I mean, hey. You know what?

I don't care if you guys aren't down with Michael.

But Michael is the next Marvin Gaye.

Yeah, I'm sure

"Gattin' On Love" is a great song.

Platinum.LEIGH: Pow! Shazam!

Well, I for one am glad to know

that it's still all good between you and Michael.

I mean, come on. I never believe those trifling tabloids.

I mean, him and Jada Pinkett? Yeah, right.

Yeah, right.

What are you talking-- Are you kidding me?

He sent her this coat, man.

Hey, let me see that, baby.

Daddy, you've seen leather coats before.

Since when did you ever give up an opportunity to show off?

Lee.Look at this sucker, man.

Lee.This is expensive.

[CHUCKLES]

Lee is bugging out.

Bugmaster.You see?

♪ Bugmaster, why don't ya Bug a little faster? ♪

[LAUGHS]Okay.

LEE: Now that I've totally degraded myself

for the sake of a cheap-ass laugh,

I feel this is the time to depart the Savage household.

When we finally left the restaurant,

Mr. Savage opened the trunk of his car,

and Caroline accidentally petted

the dead cat he had back there.

So now, she's somewhere soaking her hand

in a jar of antiseptic and pickle juice.

Hav is downstairs talking

with a prep-school friend, Bobby Montgomery,

who just dropped by to say, "Happy New Year,"

and I'm officially out of here. Peace.

[BEEPS]

[SIGHS]

[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]

LEE: Hey, anybody down here?

I'm leaving.

What's happening?

What's happening?

What are you watching?

Some movie.

Lee Plenty.

I know who you are.

You're the bad little boy

that Caroline tried to get with last night.

Bobby Montgomery.

I'm a prep school friend of Havilland's.

What else did Havilland tell you?

Well, she told me that you were

charming, intelligent,

and a pathological liar.

She said I was intelligent?

She thinks you're full of shit.

What do youthink?

I don't know you.

Well, what's your first impression?

I'll let you know when you impress me.

Damn.

When I see that motherfucker in a suit...

and I hear his songs and I listen to his voice,

I just...

[SIGHS]

What's wrong with me?

Am I addicted to him?

I must be addicted to him.

[SIGHS]

I don't know, Hav.

[SIGHS]

So...

why are Leigh and Felix fighting?

Uh, well, I know Havilland offered Leigh a job,

and I know Leigh hasn't made a decision yet.

Havilland offered Leigh a job?

In New York?

And Felix is making mad loot

at Savage Software here in D.C.

You know he ain't moving.

You got it.

Huh. What's the job offer?

Havilland needs a personal assistant.

Havilland needs a personal assistant,

so she's hiring her sister?

What kind of shit is that?

Hey, Lee, I know you're ready to go,

but can you do me a favor and drive me to my grandma's?

Sure. You didn't tell me that Leigh and Felix were fighting

'cause of you.

Hey, Money, they ain't fighting 'cause of me.

I asked you if you knew

why they were fighting, and you said no.

And? What, like I'm supposed to discuss everything with you?

You're a stranger in this house.

I don't know you from a can of paint.

Havilland, you're hiring your sister

as your personal assistant.

That's cold. That's like saying, "I need a maid.

I think I'll hire my mother."

First off, I'm offering my sister a job.

I am doing her a favor.

She'll make more money working for me

than she will working for anybody in D.C.

[JET ENGINE REVVING]

Secondly, this is between me and my sister.

So while you're in my face in my mother's house,

you better take your thread-barren,

fake-book writing, motherfucking

piss-colored ass out of my goddamn house!

[JET ENGINE STOPS]

Well, I seem to be in the middle

of a little bit of a lovers' spat, so--

Excuse me, Miss Thing, but I've got a man.

Whatever, Havilland.

Bye, bad boy.

Bye, Havilland.

[SIGHS]

Look, I'm just trying to offer my sister a job.

[DOOR CLOSES]

I mean, I'm not doing anything wrong.

Why are you questioning me?Hey, fine, Iceberg Slim.

You don't see nothing wrong with what you're doing.

If he gets pissed, fuck him.

Ain't that right, Nurse Ratchet?

Wait a minute. Who do you think you are

that you can talk to me like that?

Who you think you are that I can't?

[♪♪♪]

[SMOOCHES, BLOWS]

[TOILET FLUSHES]

[WATER BUBBLING]

[RATTLING]

[TOILET EXPLODES]

[WATER RUSHING]

[SOGGY FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Man, I'm so glad I didn't kiss that twit.

[♪♪♪]

Come on in. Come on in.

Mwah!

Happy New Year, sweetheart!Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Hello, Mrs. Moore.

It's so good to see you.

Grandma, you remember Caroline, right?

Oh, and this is Lee Plenty.

Ooh. Mwah!

[LAUGHS]

Grandma.

Come in.

I am so glad you brought Lee over here today.

It is good luck

to kiss the first man you see on New Year's Day.

You know that, don't you?

I thought I had to be the first one to step over the threshold.

Whatever.

HAVILLAND: Sorry we're late, Grandma.

But we just spent the last two hours

cleaning the bathroom.

The toilet exploded.

Oh?

Mademoiselle, I said I was sorry.

What else do you want me to say?

Caroline, you knew the toilet was broken.

And you knew my father's cat was dead.

So my question to you is, what were you thinking?

Mon cherie, I already told you

I forgot to take my medication--You know what?

We're not even gonna go into that discussion right now

because we're at my grandmother's.

[EXCLAIMING]

[SIGHS]

So Lee...

what's your book about?

Lee doesn't talk about his book, Grandma.

He says he's writ--I'm--

I'm re-- I'm rewriting it.He's writ--

He's writing a love story.

It's-- I'm at a block right now, so I'm rewriting it.

Ooh! I lovelove stories.

But it's nothing like that, uh-- What is that?

You know, the one with the fool

and the girl in the boat?A fool, a boat?

I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Excuse me?

Oh, you know the one I'm talking about.

The brother's a drug addict.

And he shoots the father. And everybody cries at the end.

Oh. Wait. Come on.

This is a book, right, Grandma?

No, no, no, the movie. It's a movie!

You know the one I'm talking about.

Oh, uh, Jason's Lyric?

Yeah, that's the one. Is it anything like that?

No.

Good.

So when is it coming out?

Well, uh, I've been talking to a couple of publishers,

including the one that Hav works at,

so it'll probably be like about six months.

Uh, say about, like, June.

Be looking for that joint on the stands.

Yeah, right.Ooh, I'm excited.

Oh, you know what? One day you're gonna be

a big, muckety-muck writer.

And I can say, tell everybody,

that Lee Plenty sat in my living room.

I'm broke sitting up in your living room.

Well, you don't look broke. You look happy.

Most broke folk don't look happy.

Who's this?

That's Havilland's grandfather.

He died eight years ago.

Good-looking brother.

Yes, he is.[TIMER DINGS]

Well, y'all make yourselves comfortable

and I'm gonna get in here and see about this dinner.

Havilland. Havilland.

Come help.

[♪♪♪]

What's this?

That's you.

Why is my nose a foot long?

Because you're a liar.

Why is my groin inflamed?

'Cause your pants are on fire.

[LAUGHING]

So is Lee your new suitor?

I like the cut of his jib.

No, Grandma. Lee and I are just friends.

You're gonna marry him.

What?

You heard me.

No. You don't know Lee.

You can never even get a straight answer out of him.

You're going to marry him.

And live in poverty for the rest of my life?

I don't think so.

You're going to marry him.

Grandma--

Havilland.

Just listen for once.

What did I tell your sister five years ago,

when she walked in here with Felix for the first time?

And what did I tell your mother 35 years ago,

when your father came to my back stoop

delivering groceries?

Grandma, Mom and Dad got divorced when I was 13.

I can't tell you kids what to do once you do it.

All I know is what I see

when I see two people together.

And, Havilland, I have met your husband.

He's out there sitting in my living room.

Now, you can either do things the hard way or the easy way.

It's up to you.

It's your life.

What's for dinner?

[DOG BARKING]

[FOOTSTEPS CLACKING]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Nancy, Sluggo.

Hi.

Elvira.

Grandma made you a plate.

Ooh, thanks. Thanks a lot.

Yeah. It's okay.

Hav, can I talk to you for a moment?

Can you wait like a half-hour?

I have some work that I need to finish.

I can't forget. It's important.

Yeah, sure.Great.

Are you staying?

Qu'est ce qui se passe?

What the hell's that mean?

Well, nothing going on here.

[LAUGHS]

She's a work of art.I'll talk with you.

Let me, uh, take my hat and coat off

and slip into something more comfortable, and...

I'll be right back.

You do that.

LEE: Every time I try to leave, something keeps happening.

Leigh's downstairs, fooling around with her camera,

Hav is working on her computer,

and I don't know where Caroline is.

Now's a good time for me to get the hell out of here.

[INTERCOM BUZZES, CHIMES]LEIGH: Lee?

I know why you're fighting with Felix.

I know you're in love with my sister.

Ee. Uh.[SINK STOPPER CLANGS]

Uh, and how do you know that?

Well, I know you two were in a class together in college,

and I know she kept finding unsigned valentines

in her book from a secret admirer.

And I know that a year and a half

after you guys had graduated,

you bumped into her on the street,

came up to her and said,

"I was the one sending you those valentines."

She said, "Oh, really? I always wondered who that was."

And then y'all went on a date.

Wasn't a date. It was just lunch.

So you have no interest in Hav?

Nope.

Then why are you washing your hands with cheese?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HAVILLAND: Lee? I know you have to leave tonight,

but can you do me a favor and look at my stereo?

[DOOR OPENS]

Lee?

[DOOR CLOSES]

[♪♪♪]

[LEATHER SQUEAKS]

[BLOWS]

[HEART BEATING]

[HEART BEATING CONTINUES]

[BUBBLING]

I don't know. I mean, I love Felix,

but something's missing.

You know, I mean...

I wake up, he goes to work.

I clean the house, I watch TV,

but I've just been feeling so...

Disenfranchised.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like...

It's like I don't-- I don't belong anywhere, you know?

I mean, Felix thinks

if I-- if I get a job at my dad's place,

then it'll all be better, but that's not it.

I mean, that job's not me.

[SLURPING]

He doesn't un--

Doesn't understand that.

Havilland doesn't understand, either.

[SIGHS]

Huh. Ah, fuck Havilland.

You know, everybody goes to Havilland for advice,

which is really ironic when you think about it,

'cause she's the most screwed up in the head out of all of you.

[SNIFFLES]

[♪♪♪]

[BEEPS]

"Enter password."

L-E-E.

"Incorrect password."

H-A-V-I-L-L-A-N-D.

Enter.

"Correct password."

Well, it sounds like to me like you didn't have

a sense of purpose when you graduated.

And when you married your high-school sweetheart

thinking that would help and it didn't,

you felt even more lost.

Yeah. [HEART BEATING]

You know. You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, well, we're kind of in the same boat.

I mean, uh...

I don't have a sense of accomplishment, either.

I mean, I'm writing this book,

but who knows what's gonna happen with that.

Not a day goes by

where I don't wake up riddled with self-doubt.

It's like-- It's like I'm having

an identity crisis or something.

I mean, since graduation,

I've been wondering what's wrong with me,

and in half an hour, you've figured it out.

You know what I'm talking about.

Lee, you've-- You've cured me.

Well, uh, I didn't really do anything.

Everybody looks for that sense of purpose in life

that gives you dignity.

I believe Nietzsche put it best when he said,

"The formula of my happiness:

a yes, a no, a straight line, a goal."

Of course, Nietzsche later died in an insane asylum,

so maybe that's not such a good idea.

I know three things.

First, that you're gonna be very big.

Everyone's gonna know your name.

Second, I'm gonna move to New York and take that job,

And third...

Come here, Lee.

[♪♪♪]

Whoa, Leigh. I'm not kissing you.

Just come here.

Leigh, I'm not kissing you.

Lee.[GLASS SHATTERS]

Just come here.

That's not a good idea.

Just one.Think about what you're doing.

I am thinking about it.

Leigh, you're a married woman.

I know, so just once.

Leigh, use your head.Lee, just once.

No one's gonna find out.

It's not like we're gonna tell anyone.

Leigh, get a grip on yourself.

Just once. If I don't do this,

I'm-I'm gonna obsess over you, and I'm never

gonna be able to get you out of my head.

Just one kiss.

Sure. Havilland!

Lee!

[SHOES SQUEAK]

Lee, just once. Just one kiss.

Come on.

Just one, I'll leave you alone, I promise.

What the hell's wrong with you?

[VIOLIN STRING SCREECHES]

Oh, God.

Oh, shit.

Caroline, it's not what you think.

Caroline!

[SIGHS]

And remember, folks, as outlandish as this all seems,

this is a true story.

[DOOR OPENS]

Hav.

Lee.

Come here. I want to ask you something.

Hav, you're not gonna believe this,

but your sister just tried to kiss me.

Really?

Downstairs in the kitchen, we were just--

[LEE GROANS]

[SIGHS]

Hey.

Hi.

Look, um...

I know I said I wasn't going to bother you, but...

I missed you.

Felix, I, um...

I have to tell you something.

Easy, easy.

If you get up too fast,

you'll feel like 5 pounds of shit in a 3-pound bag.

Whoa, hey. You ain't doing nothing.

I've been kissed harder by weaker girls than you.

Oh, you talk the talk...

BOTH: But do you walk the walk?

Excusez, I'm sorry to interrupt your little private talk here,

but could someone drive me home?

Uh, sure.Uh, sure.

Felix!

Felix.Felix.

How you doing, Mr. Bugmaster?

Damn.

Ooh.

LEIGH: Felix! Felix, he didn't do anything.

[THUDS]LEIGH: Felix.

Felix, he didn't do anything.

I tried to kiss him. Lee refused me.

He didn't kiss her.

Mm-mm.

[SIGHS]

Havilland...

Don't talk to me.

Don't you even speak to me.

You have fucked up

in such a big way, you don't even know.

I trusted you and you fucked me?

I just went through this shit with Michael,

and I have no intentions

of going through this shit with you.

Yeah!

[SIGHS]

What the hell did that mean?

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS] I'm going home.

♪ You give me

♪ All this love That I've been missing ♪

Do you love him?

♪ Show the feelings I wanna hide ♪

Does he love you?

♪ Nothing compares To the love you're giving ♪

Have you given Havilland an answer

on her job offer?

I think I'm gonna take it.

♪ What is this feeling about?

♪ Oh, yes, this feeling I've been feeling ♪

I'm going home. You coming with me?

♪ Whenever I'm thinking About you ♪

Hmm?I'm gonna stay here tonight.

♪ Tell me what do I do

♪ When I got a love That I'm supposed to love ♪

♪ You're giving me

♪ What I've been missing At home ♪

♪ You give me

♪ All this love That I've been missing ♪

Leigh...

♪ Show the feelings I wanna hide ♪

I'm confused here, okay?

And I'm really not sure what's going on,

but I-I feel like I'm losing my wife...

♪ Nothing compares To the love you're giving ♪

And I don't know why.

♪ You give me

♪ What I've been missing At home ♪

Babe, I love you. Don't you know that?

♪ I should be satisfied

♪ With the love That I already have ♪

♪ Content about

♪ About the things That he does ♪

♪ But I need so much more

♪ So much more Than he can offer ♪

♪ So much more

[SIGHS] Is Caroline a twit?

All the time she's been

sitting in the back seat, and then you ask that?

Why didn't you say that when she was here?

Why does it seem like all my friends

are radically codependent?

Do I...purposely pick needy friends?

LEE: Yeah.

Why didn't you kiss Caroline?

♪ To the love you're giving

[SIGHS]

She was drunk. She was buzzed.

That didn't attract me.

I guess.

But you were attracted to my sister.

♪ You give me so much joy

Yes, I was.

So why didn't you kiss her?

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Well, Hav, there's a time and a place

for everything, I believe, and...

[CLEARS THROAT]

...it wasn't our time and it wasn't our place.

Simple as that.

♪ The love That you've been giving ♪

♪ You're what I've been missing At home ♪

[♪♪♪]

I'm not tired.

Do you want to come and talk?

Come in my room.

[SIGHS]

Oh, boy.

I know what you're thinking.

You looked at her, then you looked at me,

and automatically you said to yourself, "bone scene."

It's not gonna happen.

I have which is called...

willpower, restraint, self-control.

That's why the very next scene

is gonna be of me getting in bed,

pulling the covers up, and getting some shut-eye.

Any time now.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Come in. Hey. Come and sit.

Where's your mother, Hav?

Probably at her fiancé's.

[METAL CLANGS]

[LAUGHS][THUDS]

Ow.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, my God. Are you okay?

Ouch.

That happens to me all the time.

Oh, my God. Don't bleed on the carpet.

Don't bleed on the carpet.

[SIGHS]

Thought I was fucking around, didn't you?

[SNIFFLES]

[KNOCK IN "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT" RHYTHM]

[DOOR OPENS]

HAVILLAND: I wasn't done talking yet.

You asleep?

If you're tired, come in my room.

This bed's uncomfortable.

[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING]

[HEART BEATING]

So your head must be pretty swollen

now that two girls made googly eyes at you

and two girls tried to kiss you in one weekend.

Did-- Didn't have anything to do with me.

Bobby and Alexandria probably make goo-goo eyes at everybody

'cause they know they're unavailable.

Caroline was just feeling the Champagne,

and Leigh was just angry at her husband.

So it actually had absolutely nothing to do with me,

really, when you look at it.

I admire your humility, Money,

but four girls tried to get at you in one weekend.

Why is that?

I don't know, but I'm moving to D.C.

Yeah!

What is this?

A massager. What does it look like?

Lee?

[BUZZING][LAUGHS]

[SCOFFS]

Put that on the floor. Get rid of it.

I'm leaving it right here.

[CLATTERS ON FLOOR]

Lee...

how come you never tried to kiss me?

Because you have psychological problems.

I'm serious.

What would you do if I tried to kiss you?

Would you refuse me?

Yes.

'Cause a bed isn't the time or the place for a first kiss.

[♪♪♪]

You know what I learned about you?

What?

That you are romantic.

♪ You're riding in my car

I'm sorry our first kiss

can't be over a candlelight dinner,

but this is the time...

and this is the place.

Lee, kiss me.

I want you to kiss me, Lee.

♪ You're telling me no

Lee, kiss me.

♪ ...don't like it

Kiss me, Lee.

♪ But I know that You're a liar ♪

♪ 'Cause when we kiss, ooh

♪ Fire

♪ Late at night

♪ Mm-mm-mm

♪ You're taking me home

♪ Yeah, you say You want to stay ♪

♪ But I want you to go

♪ I say I don't love you

♪ But you know I'm a liar ♪

Lee.Yeah?

I'm not gonna let you make love to me.

Are you angry?

No.

♪ Fire, ooh

You're not angry?

♪ Fire

No.

[SIGHS]

What's the matter?

Lee, I know you don't know this about me,

but I'm a freak.Uh-huh. So?

♪ You had a hold on me Right from the start ♪

[SIGHS] So that's how I am.

That's how I think.

When I'm in somebody's arms,

I want to feel like the sexiest bitch alive.

And if I don't, then I don't want to be in their arms.

So you're saying that 'cause I'm not getting angry,

you don't feel sexy.

I'm sorry. That's just how I think.

Why don't you go read up

on how freaks are and how we think?

Now you're telling me...

to read a book on freaks

'cause I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

[SIGHS]

Was this a mistake?

If you have to ask me that, yeah, this was a mistake.

Are you angry?

Yes!

Good.

Well, maybe you should go get some sleep,

because we do have to get up early.

Good night.

Oh, turn the lights out when you leave.

[SIGHS]

Man, I just walked right into that power trip.

I can't believe I just fell for that.

You'd think I'd have learned by now.

[KEYS CLACKING]

Leigh, about last night.

Things got a little heated,

but I'm not angry if you still aren't.

Havilland, I've been thinking about it,

and I'm gonna turn down your job offer.

Thanks, though.

Are you still angry?

Leigh?

[CHUCKLES]

Am I still angry?

Well, let's just break that down, now, shall we?

Am I angry with the one person

I have worshiped, adored, emulated my entire life,

only to find out in one weekend

that she is, A, selfish...

B, fake,

and, C, a power-hungry bitch

who wouldn't know a good man

if he was standing in the next room?

See, Havilland, since I was a little girl,

I wanted your life, but, you know,

now I know that my life is better than yours,

and it took a stranger--

A stranger to show me that.

So since that I have...

literally licked the butt of a false idol

for the past 24 years,

am I angry with you?

Of course not, you twit.

[♪♪♪]

[HORN HONKS]

Hey, your cab's here.

So I guess it's time to say the thing

that we're not supposed to say.

[HORN HONKS]

Go away.What?

Just go away. Leave her alone.

[CAB DOOR CLOSES]

[CAB DEPARTS]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Wipe your tears away

♪ You don't have to cry No more ♪

♪ No more

♪ Wipe your tears away

♪ You don't have to cry No more ♪

♪ Take my hand, follow me

♪ I got everything you need

♪ Long ago I had a dream

♪ Someone would come And share ♪

♪ The years ahead

♪ So I waited and I prayed

♪ That he didn't come Too late ♪

♪ I didn't know

♪ Know your name at all

♪ I wanted him to say to me

♪ You don't have to cry No more ♪

♪ I don't have to cry

♪ No more

♪ No more, oh, oh

♪ Wipe your tears away

♪ You don't have to cry No more ♪

♪ I wanted him to say

♪ I've got everything You need ♪

♪ Come to me

♪ So that I can be in love

♪ How I long to be in love

♪ Like carrying on In life alone ♪

[LEIGH LAUGHS]

♪ No one to hold

[SIGHS]

♪ But I'm still strong

Lee...

I don't know what you've been thinking lately, but...

I just wanted to let you know

that I haven't been playing games with you.

And as far as you and I are concerned,

it's just...

I just don't know what I want right now.

And I guess you could choose

to fuck with that, or not.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Well, Hav...

I believe you doknow what you want.

And for damn sure it ain't no threadbare,

fake-book writing sucker who lives in his car.

But that's okay,

'cause I don't want to be with someone

who'd rather go to a party than put up a Christmas tree,

to tell you the truth, there, Money.

But, uh, we're still friends,

and...I'd like to thank you

for inviting me down.

It was the best New Year's I had in a while,

and I'm serious about that.

I had a good time and I want to thank you,

so...thanks.

Call me. Tomorrow.

What for?

Just call me.

I'll be at my office all day...

waiting for your call...

at your whim.

Yeah, I doubt that.

King Lee.

Queen Hav.

[DOOR BEEPING]

Bye.

[♪♪♪]

WOMAN: "Happy New Year, Hav. Welcome back.

"A package came for you this morning.

I put it on your desk. Gladys."

[WOMAN VOCALIZING]

♪ I love

♪ Oh, oh, don't go Don't go ♪

♪ In a world without you...

Yeah?

Hi, Hav, this is Gladys.

I think the guy that sent you the flowers is on his way up.

♪ And stay with me

Thanks.

Hey.

Can I come in?

♪ Wasting time together Talking about your problems ♪

♪ Girl, it's cool with me

♪ You need a favor I'm the one you always call ♪

♪ You depend on me

So, um...

...how was your New Year's?

[SNEEZES]

Hey, Hav, sorry to interrupt.

We're just such big fans.

Mr. Simmons, I was hoping I could get your autograph.

If we could take a minute out of your time.

Sorry, Hav.Sure, sure.

Didn't mean to interrupt.

Oh, I forgot a pen.[GIGGLES]

Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, ladies.

Pow! What do you think? Who's this for?

Melissa.

Melissa. "To Melissa."

You know what, Melissa, you can't spell "Melissa "

without an M and an E. You know what I'm sayin'?

[MELISSA GIGGLES]

CD is terrific.

Oh, thank you. "Love 40," ladies.

What do you think, Hav? All right?

You're welcome.See you later, Hav.

Bye.Hey, hey, hey.

You can keep the pen.

Thanks. Thanks.

Hav...

I know you're upset with me.

All right, and-and-and

you have every reason to be.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Mike, babe. Love you.

Hey, man, love you too. All right.

Hey, "Love 40," now.

Hey, you know what-- You know what I did this weekend?

Nothing.

Stayed at home all weekend...

♪ I'm not letting you go No way, no how ♪

...by myself, watched Dick Clark.

[INHALER HISSES]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hey, Hav. Hey, Mike.HAVILLAND: Hi.

Hey, how you doing there?Fine. How are you?

Hey, "Love 40."

♪ No, no, no, no, no

Okay, you don't have to answer me right now.

But what do you say...

this weekend...

I come by...

pick you up?

We can go load up the Range Rover full of goodies

and drive up to my place in the Hamptons.

Maybe on Saturday, you know,

we go into your little favorite spot in town for dinner,

you know, just like we used to.

Get some strawberries and champagne for dessert

on the way home.

I want-- I want the full range

of Havilland Savage,

from-from the board room, all right,

us doing business together in our conservative little suits,

down into the bedroom,

with me just, like, licking on your clitoris or something.

I don't care. I don't care.

You know...

You see-- You see this vein in my head right here?

It pops out every time I'm around you.

♪ Walk away

♪ But the loneliness Will kill me tonight ♪

Havilland Savage...

I'm on bended knee.

I love you.

Hi, Mike.

Hey, man, how you doing?

Let's do lunch.Hey, "Love 40," baby.

And I want you to be...

my wife.

[HORN HONKS]

[SIGHS]

[CLOCK TICKING]

[PURRING]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Happy New Year!

Give me a hug. Give me kisses and love.

How are you doing?

So, what's up? How you doing?

What's going on? How you been? How was your New Year?

Happy New Year.

It was all right, you know?

Well, my New Year's-- Let me tell you about my New Year's.

Are you listening? I'm gonna tell you about my New Year's.

Well, I went to the movies, I rented some movies,

I saw some movies, I watched repeats,

I went to the club, I went to the disco--

Evelyn, could you excuse me for a minute?

[DOOR CLOSES]

[♪♪♪]

Lee: "Havilland...

"Hours into days, days into weeks,

"I will still be thinking of you.

"I'll childishly depend

"on these days and weeks and months

"to blanket that sharp sting I feel when I think of you,

"but to no avail, I'm sure.

"I got it bad, and that ain't good.

"Why is this happening?

"Why do I dream of you?

"Am I forever doomed to ache and long

"for a girl whose constant center-of-attention lifestyle

"makes me sick?

"I've never felt simultaneous

"attraction and revulsion before.

"It's making me miserable.

I wouldn't choose this if I had a choice."

"This fever that quickens my pulse will break soon.

"This longing I have to kiss you and breathe you

"and taste the dizzying scent of your skin

"will fade away.

"Eventually, another hurricane will roar up

"and introduce herself

"and spin me around and around and around.

"And hopefully, when she and I are sitting in a restaurant

"and I'm staring at a glass of champagne

"for what seems an eternity,

"and she asks me what I'm thinking

"and I say, 'nothing,'

"hopefully that won't be a lie like it usually is.

"Hopefully I won't want to say,

"'Havilland's eyes, I am thinking.

"Havilland's lips, I am thinking.

"Havilland's hands, I am thinking.

"Havilland's legs, I am thinking.

"Havilland Savage, I am thinking.'

I love you."

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hey, Hav, want to go to a party at the Neo Bar tonight?

Get your groove on? Michael might be there.

Sure.

[♪♪♪]

TRUDY [LAUGHS]: Careful, Chris.

You'll feel like 5 pounds of shit in a 3-pound bag.

[LAUGHS] Trust me, Trudy.

I've been kissed harder by weaker women.

Hmm.

You can talk that talk, but-

I can walk that walk.

Uh, excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt

your little private talk,

but could one of y'all take me home, please?

Um, yeah.Um, yeah.

Harold.

Harold.Harold.

Hey, man, what's up?

Yeah, what's up, motherfucker?

Oh, shit.

Excuse me. Harold, baby, it was me.

I tried to kiss him. He didn't do nothing.

I'm telling you. It was me.

I tried to kiss him.

Baby? Baby?

Harold--

[GRUNTS]

[THUDS]

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

That was not nice. Um, Chris, get up.

[LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hey, hey, Trudy!

Girl, you want to go to a party tonight?

You know Glen might be there.

Sure.

[AUDIENCE GROANS]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

[HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming

to the Metropolitan International Film Festival.

And now I'd like to introduce

the writer and director of Tru Love,

Mr. Lee Plenty.

[APPLAUDING]

Thanks a lot. Thank you.

A-any questions?

Mr. Plenty, I like the title Tru Love.

Her name is Trudy, and his last name is Love.

But I thought they were gonna get married.

Yeah, so did I.[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Will there be a sequel?

Here's the sequel:

Uh, they never saw each other again after that weekend,

she chose to live her life with somebody else,

and he wrote a great screenplay about that story

and got over his broken heart.

He's definitely over her.

I know you don't have a distributor.

Aren't you afraid that they'll want a happy ending?

I never made Tru Love to, uh, have a happy ending.

I always wanted it to have a realistic ending,

not some fake fairy-tale ending.

And I'm not gonna change that just for any damn movie execs.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Hey. Hi. How are you?

Okay.

Hey, whoa, look at you.

Caroline.

Hi. Heh.

Thanks for coming, y'all.

We wouldn't have missed it.Thanks for inviting us.

It was really good.

Look at you, man. Congratulations.

Thanks. Congratulations to you.

It was, um-- It was, uh, excellent.

Yeah, it was good, man. It was pretty good.

I didn't get the ending.

Yo, Lee, what's happening, brother?

Hey, how you doing?

Loved the film, man.Thank you.

You's a bad motherfucker.

Mr. Plenty.

Miss Savage.

Is it still "Miss?"

Yeah.

[♪♪♪]

So how come you never called me?

How come you never called me?

[SIGHS]

I don't want to argue anymore.

I'm not arguing. I'm just, you know--

I'm not gonna-- I'm over it.

I've moved on. I've grown.

I know you were hurt--

I wasn't hurt.

Okay, I know that you've grown.

And I've grown too.

For the past year, I've--

I've realized that everything I thought I wanted

was all bullshit.

I mean, I thought about all the times we spent fighting,

and...

I thought back to myself and said,

you know, was I--

Was I blind?

You were everything I needed.

You were the man that I always dreamed of

when I was a little girl.

I love you.

WOMAN: Lee Plenty? Lee Plenty.

Hi, I'm Amy Madison.

And this is my associate Lloyd Banks.

I run Caprice Films.

Caprice Films.

Hi.

Hi. Hi. Yeah, I know who you are.

Well, I saw your film, and I loved it.

We need to do some business together and make some money.

I think the world needs to see Tru Love.

Needs to see it.

Okay.

First, what we need to do is

is make arrangements to fly you out to California

so we can discuss the changes that need to be made.

Changes.

Changes, like what?

Well, I mean, I think the film

could use a more optimistic ending.

Optimism.

But other than that, you stand to make millions.

Sounds cool?

Sure.[ALL LAUGH]

Everybody! Lee got himself a deal!

LEIGH: Caprice Films!

[CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS]

HAVILLAND: You did it.

One little change, you finally made the big time.

Isn't that what you always wanted?

Yeah.

LEE: She's right.

I got the deal and the girl,

and I only sold out a little bit.

It's what I wanted.

Right?

♪ Well, Romeo and Juliet

♪ Hmm

♪ Samson and Delilah

♪ Baby, you can bet

♪ They were burning With desire ♪

♪ If I say split

♪ You say split

♪ Then you know That I'd be lying ♪

♪ I know that You'd be lying ♪

♪ 'Cause when we kiss

♪ Ooh

♪ Fire

♪ Ooh

♪ You had a hold on me Right from the start ♪

♪ A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart ♪

♪ My nerves all jumping Acting like a fool ♪

♪ Your kisses might burn

♪ But my heart

♪ Stays

♪ Cool

♪ Cool

♪ You're riding in my car

♪ I turn on the radio

♪ I'm pulling you Closer, yes ♪

♪ But you keep telling me no

♪ You say you don't like it

♪ But I know That you're a liar ♪

♪ 'Cause when we kiss

♪ Ooh

♪ Fire

♪ Late at night

♪ Mm-mm-mm

♪ You're taking me home

♪ Yeah, you say You want to stay ♪

♪ But I want you To go ♪

♪ I say I don't Love you ♪

♪ But you know I'm a liar ♪

♪ 'Cause when we kiss

♪ Ooh

♪ Fire

♪ Ooo

♪ Fire

[VOCALIZING]

♪ Fire

♪ Ooo

♪ You had a hold on me Right from the start ♪

♪ A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart ♪

♪ My nerves all jumping Acting like a fool ♪

♪ Your kisses might burn

♪ But my heart

♪ Stays ♪ Stays

♪ Cool ♪ Cool

♪ Well, Romeo and Juliet

♪ Hmm

♪ Samson and Delilah

♪ Baby, you can bet

♪ They were burning With desire ♪

♪ If I say split

♪ You say split

♪ Then you know That I'd be lying ♪

♪ I know that You'd be lying ♪

♪ 'Cause when we kiss

♪ Ooh

♪ Fire

♪ Ooh

♪ Fire

♪ Ooh

♪ Fire

♪ Fire

♪ Oh, now ♪ When we kiss

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ I'm on fire Yeah ♪

♪ Your tenderness ♪ Your tenderness

♪ Gives me desire

♪ I can't resist ♪ I can't resist

♪ Your tender lips

♪ When we kiss ♪ When we kiss, oh, baby

♪ Oh

♪ Fire