Original subtitles

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks make it worse,

stop what you're doing immediately!

Brooke: Hack at your own risk, hackers.

[ Screams ]

On a very serious "hacks del corazón"...

♪♪

I want a divorce!

Divorce? ¿por qué?

You slept with my brother!

Becauseyou with my twin sister!

Only because you slept with myother

you tried to sleep with my mother!

This relationship isno más!

Ugh!

Unh! Why can't I get this ring off?!

-[ Grunts ] -Ay!

If this marriage really is over,

then you're going to need this.

A condom?

Gracias,gracias. I have plenty already.

It is not for that.

Just slip the lubricated condom --

it's so lubricated.

-It's very lubricated. -Ay-yi-yi.

Then slip it around the finger,

and the ring will come off with it.

Free at last!

This marriage isno más. [ Laughs ]

The ring may be off,

but we made vows

to stay together till death do us part.

And I intend to keep it that way

one way or another.

[ Laughs evilly ]

Will the señorita make good

on her threat to murder señor solución?

Find out on "hacks del corazón."

Brooke: Tonight on "hack my life"...

-God! Ohh! -Ohh!

...can you really cook your whole breakfast in a coffee maker?

One-touch cookin'.

Kevin: And tired of losing your ear buds?

We're locked and loaded.

We test viewer hacks for keeping ear buds in place.

Brooke: Plus, we've got hacks for a night out on the town.

Kevin: Bottoms up!

This is "hack my life."

Today, we'll be testing out three viewer-submitted hacks

for keeping your ear buds in your ear holes.

This is hack mail.

The hack that does the best job

keeping your ear buds in your ear gets our...

Together: Hack seal of approval!

Our first hack comes to us from Stefan

in rockport, Massachusetts.

Stefan writes...

Are you just gonna do one lap around the head?

Okay.

-You happy? -She went full mummy.

I'm gonna go from the back of the ear, around to the top.

Time to put it to the test.

All right, Brooke, what's on the menu today?

You're gonna give me a downward dog on that yoga mat,

a few seconds on the treadmill,

and three jumps on that trampoline.

Okay, push those heels to the floor, buddy.

-Ahh! -Really dip that head.

[ Beep ] Tape's doing its job.

The ear buds are in there, despite the sweat.

Ahh. Yep. [ Boing! Boing! ]

Dude, tell me. How'd that feel?

-Really not fun. -Downward dog.

Who's this bank robber doing yoga?!

It's the ear bud bandit!

Throw your head into it, Brooke.

That's -- you're getting really going.

-Oh, yeah. There you go. -Oh, all right. Look at this.

Nothing moving. Wow.

Oh, it's like a chemical peel.

You're coming out fresh as a Daisy.

-[ Whimpers ] -Mm-hmm.

Ohh, that jammed these so far into my ears.

-Yeah. Same. Yeah. -God, that was stupid.

All right, hack number two

comes from Julia in belmont, Massachusetts.

She says...

So, I guess we're gonna tie it around the base of the bud

and then kind of take the rest of the tie

and create a little hook at the top.

These aren't that --

like, I think I have to do, like, a twofer here.

-Oh, you want to double it up? -Feel free to improvise

when you're putting trash on your head.

I'm gonna call that about right.

Okay, we're locked and loaded.

Do you feel like they're on?

Oh, yeah. They're not budging.

Whoa. Whoa. I'm running.

-Bounce it out. -All right.

Oh, that's good. All right.

I think my version of this hack is pretty solid.

Yeah.

Our third and final hack comes to us from chip

in blue island, Illinois.

I don't know what your pre-workout regimen consists of.

Oh, maybe, like, a protein smoothie.

Sure. If I were in the locker room,

lubing up my ear buds with beeswax,

I'm no better than the guy that uses the hair dryer

to get his naughty bits.

[ Laughs ]

-Yoga time. -Beautiful.

Tossing my head around.

They're still not falling out.

All right.

[ Whip! Whip! ]

Wow. Really? Beeswax did that?

-Yeah. -Okay.

Time to review.

I'm gonna come out of the gate strong.

I'd like to get rid of tape. I know I leaned into it.

-Oh. -But I regret it.

-Not worth it, so that is gone. -You're gone.

I want to talk about beeswax.

Jamming wax into your ears, which --

sorry. Usually, I try to get waxout out.

Which leaves us to the twist ties.

I'm kind of feeling that one, because you're bound to have

twist ties around your house. Mm-hmm.

And I doubled mine up and made a bigger loop than you did.

I'm ready to do it, but I don't want to speak for both of us.

Yeah? Oh, no, no.

I think, Julia from belmont, Massachusetts,

your twist ties get our...

Together: ...Hack seal of approval!

Go to a grocery store. Grab a handful of them.

-I'm not saying steal them. -Oh, no, no.

I-I think we're on the same page.

I'm just saying, take them without paying.

Free hack!

♪♪

[ Ting! ]

♪♪

♪♪

At some point in our adult lives, we have to say

farewell to licking it, slamming it, and sucking it.

Well, out of a shot glass, anyways.

How about we all grow up a little bit

and get a little classier and today,

I'll show you a hack to make some edible shot glasses.

Huh? It's genius.

And it makes you look like less of a drunk.

All right. Check it out.

Fresh from the garden. What do you see?

You know what I see? A bunch of shot glasses.

I'm gonna start by cutting the tip off of this monster,

and I'll cut another about, eh, roughly a two-inch section.

Then you're gonna take a melon baller.

I mean, it's like you guys are setting me up.

This has the word "baller" in it.

[ Chuckles ] Balls.

Just kind of gently start scooping out the middle

so that we've got enough depth to hold a full shot of Tequila.

All right, we've got our self a little shot glass.

Crowd:Ooh!

A roma tomato is also your drinking buddy.

First things first, you want to identify the stem end,

which is a little more bottom-heavy,

and cut just the end off this

so that we have a nice, flat surface for it to stand on.

And then cut off the remainder.

Take the melon baller

and get a majority of the seeds and the goop out.

Okay.

♪ I've got another drinking container ♪

Look at you, you healthy, responsible adult,

getting their veggies in for the day.

I think it's really important

to continue to eat while you're drinking.

You know, I think doctors say that.

Bottoms up. I do love salad.

[Cheers and applause

mmm! Yeah.

Kevin: Coming up, do these hacks for cooking

with a single-serve coffee maker really work?

Ohh!

Brooke: And we've got all the hacks you need

for a night out on the town.

♪♪

♪♪♪

Bad blood boils over onto the dinner table

on the next "hacks del corazón."

Do you not like your wine, señor solución?

It's fine, dear.

Then why do you not drink it?

Because this is not my wine glass.

How do you know?

Because I always Mark my glass the same way --

by clipping the little, plastic tab

from a bag of bread onto the stem.

Hmm.

Why do you not drink your

because this is not my beverage, either.

I always squeeze an old, rubber coin purse

around the base of the glass

so it can act as a marker and

[ both chuckle nervously ]

Both: I poisoned your wine!

-I knew it! -Ay! Agh!

But if this is not my drink and that is not your drink,

then where did our drinks go?

Hola, hermano... And hermana-in-law.

Dougie! My second twin brother

who has had an affair with my wife!

What areyou

I saw this unattended wine glass earlier, so I snagged it.

Bottoms up. -Dougie, no! No, no, no, no.

[ Shudders ]

[ Chuckles ] Ugh!

Ahh! [ Gagging ]

Ooh...

[ Grunting ]

Is this the end of Dougie solución?

Find out on the grand finale of "hacks del corazón."

Single-serve coffee makers

are not just for beverages anymore, supposedly.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

This is basically an electronic kettle, right?

It's got to force a lot of hot water through a teeny, tiny pot,

and we could use that to cook, maybe.

Yeah, we're gonna use that pot to make breakfast.

This is hack or wack.

Some of these single-serve makers,

they can actually force water through this little pot

at 192 degrees fahrenheit.

That should be more than enough

to cook whatever we can jam in there.

Well, what's on the menu today, kev?

Spinach, shrimp, and, of course, some poached eggs.

Do you like your Greens?

Oh, I love eating just five leaves at a time. Mmm!

Look, the science is in on eating slow.

It makes it easier on digestion if you take smaller bites.

But that's why I always have gas.

[ Sproing! ] Sorry I asked.

Let's make some spinach.

You want to fill the single-serve coffee maker

with the food item.

Watch for the needle, by the way.

You might cut yourself in the process.

-We close. -Close it.

Also, make sure you have something ready

to catch the water, 'cause it's gonna come out.

Tallest setting. Ready? One-touch cookin'.

[ Sniffing ] Oh, and that really is a --

that's aromatherapy.

Look at that!

I would [bleep] punch you if I came in for my coffee...

I'm sorry. Just one minute.

Just one more minute. I'm almost done.

Did you want a bite? Go on, popeye.

♪♪

-It's steamed. -Smelling like a hack already.

But we got to move on. We got two more plates, Brooke.

Oh. Oh, my. Okay.

Skrimps!

They are full-on, fresh-from-the-sea raw.

♪ One little guy gonna go in the coffee maker ♪

♪ one little guy ♪

Oh, we should've clearly deveined that one.

He was an eater. Hoo!

Like a zebra. Just a black stripe right on down it.

We'll just give that a minute.

Give you time to think about how you explain this one to the coworkers.

Exactly.

First, it was the upper Decker in the men's room.

You ought to see what I left in the copier.

-Oh, you want the shrimp water? -You know what?

Kevin! No!

[ Softly ] Oh, it's briny.

That was a mistake on multiple levels.

-Yeah, get in there. -No!

[ Laughter ]

-One skrimp. -Mwah!

Plating is everything.

The shrimp is cooked.

I'd eat it if it was tossed in some noodles

or something else, but, uh...

Ooh, what about on a bed of spinach? No.

-On to our third and final dish. -A poached egg.

Super-simple. Crack an egg, toss it into the little pot.

The hot water's gonna run through it.

I'm gonna hit "strong," 'cause that's how I like my eggs.

If you're a bit of a power lifter and you like those egg whites,

you could just let it sit in there and it will strain it.

That's a bonus hack. But here comes that hot water

and even some shooting out of the machine, for some reason.

-Oh, god! -That's -- that smells farty.

-God. -Yeah.

-You ready? -Yeah.

-Gah! Ohh! Ohh! -Oh, no! Eww!

-Oh! It squirted! -Eww!

Oh, yeah. That needs another cycle. Ewwugh!

That needs just one more quick cycle.

Get ready. Here we go. Farm-fresh.

Ohh!

Eww! It's so wrong!

Let's serve up your breakfast, kev.

Oh, no. Brooke.

-No? Here we go. -Ohh! No!

Oh, wow. What a -- what a great hack.

The coffee machine did, in fact, steam some spinach.

Number two, it did kind of cook a shrimp.

I mean, that shrimp got pink.

If you didn't know where it came from,

you might've had a little nibble.

The egg was a bit of a fail.

[ Splat! Splat! ]

There are plenty of reasons to make your coworkers hate you.

This does not need to be one of them.

Coffee-machine cuisine is, in fact...

...is wack. Yeah.

[ Buzzer ]

♪♪

[ Sloop! ]

[ Clanging ]

♪♪

[ Ting! ]

Kevin: Sometimes an item is so useful,

it ascends into the pantheon of great hacking tools.

Today, we celebrate one that truly has become

a hack all-star -- the hair dryer.

The hair dryer is coming in hot with the hacks.

Your child's artistic streak doesn't have to hurt your walls.

An unauthorized crayon mural is easily melted away

using a hair dryer.

All-star!

And don't stand for the pain of ripping off an adhesive bandage.

A hair dryer, on low, will provide just enough heat

to melt the adhesive so you can take it off pain-free.

All-star!

Duct-tape a water bottle to a hair dryer

and use it on the cool setting to act as an air pump.

All-star!

And if water rings have you stressed,

hold a hair dryer to the stain for about 20 minutes,

then buff away with a cloth.

Talk about salvaged wood.

All-star!

And if the outdoors come in,

blow them back where they belong

by using your hair dryer as a makeshift leaf blower.

Now it's your neighbor's problem.

[ Blows ] All-star!

Congratulations, hair dryer.

You really blow us away.

You truly are a hack all-star.

Brooke: Coming up, Kevin shows us a Chinese food hack

that will transform takeout night.

Kevin: Dinner is served.

And... I give up!

...don't let him see you cry. Oh, god!

Brooke tests out a hack for holding back tears.

♪♪

On the sobering conclusion of "hacks del corazón"...

We must face cold, hard facts.

Our relationship ismuy, muy

[ crying ] You tried to poison me!

And you successfully poisoned my brother to death.

Sí.

I guess all that's left for us to do now

is sign these divorce papers and...

Go our separate ways.

We had some good times, though, didn't we?

Remember that one time with the pool noodle?

So many uses.

-Unh! -Damn it!

I can't hack it alone without you.

[ Gasps ]

Let us rekindle the spark of our love

by burning these divorce papers!

-Sí. -[ Groans ]

What's the matter?

Are you having performance anxiety?

The strike pad on this match box is worn out!

But...if you hold these matches together,

I can rub the tip of mine against this,

and together, we can create a flame.

Aah! [ Gasps ]

Ohh! Wow!

[ Both blow ]

Now we go together like fire

and more fire.

-Eee! -Now kiss me!

...mucho...

"Hacks del corazón."

Kevin: This is a 1971 hml California gt.

My father spent three years restoring it.

It's his love. It's his passion. It's his --

it's his fault for leaving you the keys.

Whatever miles we put on, we'll take off.

How?

By driving it... Backwards?

Together: This is hacked or fiction.

In the movie "Ferris Bueller's day off,"

after joy-riding in Cameron's dad's

beloved 1961 Ferrari, Ferris and his friends

try and reverse all the miles they put on the car

by propping it up and driving it backwards.

To re-create the scene, we have the car braced and jacked up

so the wheels can spin.

However, we don't want to re-create theentire

correct, which is why we have this cable attached.

For safety, I also will not be kicking the vehicle.

Brooke, fire it up in 3, 2...

What?

I don't know how to drive a stick.

Let's swap!

[ Engine starts ]

[ Straining ] Just pop it into reverse.

What's the reading on the odometer?

Uh, 48,248 miles.

Really? You're driving like your grandma right now, though, kev.

My grandma was a stunt driver. You know that.

Okay.

♪♪

♪♪

Wait! Actually, hold on. Are you kidding me?!

-Oh, wow. -Are you kidding me?!

The 8's still there! It's still there!

It's holding strong!

The gas Gauge is going down, Brooke.

The numbers are not. Okay.

But we'll just give it a little longer.

Remember in "Ferris Bueller"

when he had the mannequin and the door would open

and it would go up like he was in the bed...

Oh, my god. ...But it was the mannequin?

Classic. I tried that.

Remember in "Ferris Bueller"

when he was like, "I'm looking for this boy,"

and it was John Connor, and then they found him,

and then the whole ship sank

and the woman threw the necklace into the ocean?

All right, you're getting a little loopy from the fumes, Kevin.

-It stings the nostrils. -Yes.

How about we -- how about we stop and check?

Kevin: Ooh.

[Crowd groans

Brooke: You drove several miles backwards.

They haven't budged.

-No. -It didn't work.

It didn't work. Let's make it official.

Brooke: Yeah. It's fiction.

♪♪

Want to go for a ride?

All right. I'll get in this car with you.

-Okay. -I'm just gonna slide across.

-Okay. -Wow.

-Brooke, get off the hoo-- -this thing was not waxed.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Sizzling ]

Kevin: There are two types of people in this world --

those who embrace hacks and those who reject them.

To see which type gets better results,

we're going to do a side-by-side comparison

in hacker vs. Slacker.

Prom night has finally arrived.

But with a stuck zipper, it looks like slacker Penelope

is gonna have to go with a backless look.

Hacker Penelope knows that rubbing chapstick

on a stubborn zipper can get it moving

and get her dressed for the evening.

Slacker Penelope's date

arrives with a sorry excuse for a corsage.

Hacker Penelope fashions a new one, using twist ties,

a hair tie, and fresh flowers from her house.

She even makes one for her date.

Prom-ready.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

On the dance floor, slacker Penelope's shoes

are so slippery that she takes a spill.

Ohh! A move isn't all she busted.

Medic!

Hacker Penelope uses a nail file

on the bottom of her shoes for added traction

to keep her dancing all night long.

After her tumble, slacker Penelope

gets the sympathy vote for prom queen,

but her head keeps giving the crown the slip.

Hacker Penelope wowed the crowd and was voted queen.

She uses a pipe cleaner to help her tiara grip her hair

and stay secure.

[ Ding, ding! ]

Don't be like slacker Penelope.

Be like hacker Penelope

and start hacking your life today.

-Coming up... -I saw a life for us!

...Brooke offers up a hack

to overcome your emotions and play it cool.

Are you into crystals?

[ Sniffs ] Ugh!

Oh, hi, there.

I'm TV's Kevin pereira, from television.

And as someone who's super-busy and successful,

one of my greatest fears is whether or not

I'm gonna get dinner on the table.

And that's when I turn to Chinese takeout.

But we all know there's a dark side to Chinese takeout --

namely, the dirty, greasy dishes it creates

whenever you put it on the plate.

It's okay. No need to feel shame.

We've all been there.

But, luckily for you, I just stumbled upon a hidden hack

that I'm gonna share right now.

Just take the box and unfold it into a plate

and tell everybody that dinner is served.

Bonus hack -- if there's leftovers,

you just re-box it and put it in the fridge.

Together, we can end greasy-plate shame.

Now, if only there was a hack for getting the last dumpling.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

Hi. I'm Brooke Van poppelen from the future.

Back in your time, I used to learn tons of hacks

I could do with pool noodles and toilet brushes.

But none of them could save me

from all the cringe-worthy moments life can deal you.

Luckily, in the future, I've got emotional hacks

and a brand-new time machine.

To fix the past, I'm gonna go hack to the future.

♪♪

[ Tires screech ]

[ Chuckles ] 2012. What a year!

And especially with that guy I was dating.

What's his name? [ Laughs ]

Why did we break up, anyways? Let's see.

[ Beeping ]

So, it's not that, like, I totally believe in crystals,

but I figure why not buy some for insurance.

Like, I don't know. I think it's actually kind of cool.

Are -- are you into crystals?

We've been together for a while now.

[ Echoing ] This is not working for me.

Are you okay?

[ Sobbing ] I give up! I saw a life for us!

But I'm a strong woman! And I'm gonna take care of myself!

So you can just -- you can also pay the bill,

even though I just ordered --

[crowd gasps

I'm sorry.

[ Beeping ]

Wow. I did not handle that very well.

Luckily, since then,

I've learned some hacks to prevent crying in public.

I think I'm gonna have to go hack to the future.

[ Beeping ]

I have to be careful

that past Brooke doesn't see future Brooke.

It could rip a hole in the space-time continuum.

Hey, guys. Don't order the scallops.

I don't recommend them.

Are you into crystals?

Ugh.

[ Echoing ] This is not working for me.

Are you okay?

[ Scratchy voice ] A note for you, miss Van poppelen.

♪♪

Brooke:"Hey, Brooke. Don't let him see you cry.

Here's a hack to gain control.

Pinch the thin webbed skin

between your thumb and index finger, hard.

It immediately stops the tears.

The physical pain distracts

from the emotional pain of this impending breakup.

Aah! Ooh! Wha--

hey. Brooke. Are you okay? You look to be in pain.

I am great. What did you want to talk about?

What -- what's not working for you?

We've been together for a while now.

Oh, okay. Yep. Yep. I saw this coming.

Just -- just get it out.

♪♪

Do you want to move in together?

What? You -- y-yes!

Oh, god! It could change the entire course of history!

I better get hack to the future.

[ Tchaikovsky's "Romeo and Juliet overture" plays ]

It looks like things did

that's actually a poster from my award-winning film

called "Brooke's wedding."

After I dated that guy in 2012,

I got sort of inspired to star in my own film.

I'm kind of an auteur. [ Chuckles ]

But, yeah, we definitely broke up.

That guy was just, like, a little too dramatic for my taste.

[ Scoffs ]

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