Original subtitles

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks make it worse,

stop what you're doing immediately.

[ Screams ]

♪♪

I need a translator here, stat!

I cannot understand a word this patient is saying!

[ Muffled ] I burned my tongue on hot coffee.

It's hopeless.

I'm afraid I'm the translator you requested.

Great.

Sir, can you tell me what's going on?

I burned my tongue on coffee.

He says he burned his tongue on hot coffee.

Well, tell him not to worry, that I'll be able

to fix him up in six hours when the O.R. frees up.

Six hours?! O.R.?!

Why wait when I have something

that can take away the pain right here?

Not everyone wants to hide from the real world

in a tiny plastic bottle like you.

You've heard just a spoonful of sugar

helps the medicine go down?

When I was 4.

In this case, itis

just let it dissolve on your tongue,

and the glucose will make the burn feel better.

It's working. Oh, that feels much better.

Bet you're pretty proud of yourself, aren't you, nurse?

Let me ask you something. What if he's a diabetic?

I'm not.

Or, even worse, on a low-carb diet.

Then what? I'm actually trying togain

the point is that I am tired of being outdone by your hacks!

You're on probation until the end of the day.

No more treating patients and no more hacks.

Those, nurse, are the doctor's orders.

Kevin: Tonight... Oh, yeah.

...on "hack my life"...

What's a camping trip without burning some herb?

Brooke: We clean up some dirty mouths with a teeth-whitening hack.

That is a sight.

Plus, it's host versus host

in a battle royale of camping hacks.

[ Insect buzzing ] Oh, bite me.

Kevin: And can I use a carrot to carry a tune?

I feel like that's deep enough, but she complained.

Brooke: I gussy up my guest house.

Joselyn: Your renter's gonna love this.

Brooke: Anything smells better than poop, let's be honest.

Brooke: Focus up. Oh, no.

Kevin: This... Ugh!

...is "hack my life."

Mmm!

Charcoal -- we use it to make burgers taste great

and to punish naughty kids on Christmas morning,

but what if I told you this was the secret to a brighter smile?

This is hack or wack.

I'm here with Tony and Ashley,

two friends whose love of red wine

has turned their teeth from white to rosé.

-And I will drink to that. -Yeah.

Cheers. Pleasure to meet you two.

-Cheers. Very nice to meet you. -Hey. Thank you.

The problem with wine is that, over time, red wine

can erode enamel, it can lead to yellowing.

So now I have a hack that supposedly will give you

that "fresh from the dentist" feeling

for a fraction of the price.

-Okay. -Okay.

Activated charcoal.

Did you say "charcoal"?

-Activated -oh.

We've got charcoal capsules that we've broken open,

and we're gonna brush with the powder.

This is the stuff that hospitals use

to absorb anything in the stomach.

Like, it's their go-to for poison control.

So that must count for something, right?

Uh, sure.

Go ahead and take a look at your teeth

and get a nice peek at the before.

Ashley: That's not good.

Well, you've been having some red wine, so that's good.

Yeah. Oh, a lot.

Got some water for you, some activated charcoal,

and some toothbrushes.

Get that charcoal on the brush and go to town.

At the end of two minutes,

we'll take a look at those smiles again.

♪♪

Oh, my god. It's like oreos.

Oh, yeah. That is a sight.

And, yep, a little bit just flew into my eye.

Does it bother? Any burning?

-Any weird itching? -Feels like powder.

Like if you fell off the monkey bars

and you got sand in your mouth.

Like a grill that was just used,

and you decided to lick it.

[ Laughs ]

-Yep. -[ Coughs ]

Every good television show should have the line

"you may now use the bucket" in it.

[ Bell dings ]

Ugh!

We're still struggling to get rid of this hack, yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my god.

[ Laughs ]

All right, so, the journey was terrible,

but maybe the destination was worth it.

-Let's hope so. -It's time to weigh in.

We need to know if activated charcoal is hack or wack.

Well, take a look at yourselves. Go ahead.

-Oh. Right. -Okay.

Tony, how do you feel about your smile?

They definitely look brighter, and...Cleaner.

-All right. Ohh. -Oh, wow.

Oh, wait. There was an "oh," "oh, wow," and then an "ohh."

I still have some in my grooves.

-Oh, some charcoal in there? -Yeah.

-In the grooves. -Yeah.

But do you think your teeth are whiter?

They are. It's whiter than it was before.

So you need a brushing on top of the charcoaling.

I need the floss. Yeah. There has to be a flossing.

So, it is hack or wack? Ashley, we'll start with you.

I think that it's a hack.

-I think it does work. -That's one hack.

Tony?

[ Inhales sharply ]

Definitely a hack.

That's a hack!

Well, thank you, guys, for subjecting your teeth

and your pride to activated charcoal.

I know that's not easy to do in a public place, but...

True. ...I will say the smiles are beautiful.

Cheers.

♪♪

[ Sizzling ]

[ Clock ticking, ding ]

[ Sparkle! ]

It's host against host.

And hack against hack.

We're gonna find out who's the better hacker.

And whoever runs out of hacks first is clearly the loser.

Ah, good times.

This is anything you can hack...

I can hack better... Camping edition.

There's nothing more integral to a campsite than a campfire.

But sometimes, making said fire can be a real burn,

which is why I like to carry a little hand sanitizer.

Now, this has a high alcohol content,

which makes it incredibly flammable.

It'll help you start a fire in no time.

Well, Brooke, looks like the heat is on.

That's a good one, but is it waterproof?

I'm gonna have to fight fire with...

Petroleum jelly-covered cotton balls.

Petroleum jelly is also highly flammable,

and because it's oil-based, it's also waterproof.

These little fire starters will burn hard for up to 4 minutes

and stay lit in wind and rain.

Think I just smoked ya.

[ Insect buzzing ] Oh, bite me.

Not you. The mosquitoes. There's lots of them.

Luckily, I can hack together a bug-repellent candle jar

using jars of water, a few slices of lemon,

a sprig of Rosemary, and a floating candle.

Mosquitoes really hate the smell of citrus and herbs,

so this should keep those bloodsuckers at bay.

What do you think about that, Brooke?

I'll do you one better and burn some sage.

Not only does it oust insects, it also banishes bad energy.

What's a camping trip without burning some herb?

You know?

Okay, Brooke, while you inhale those "sage fumes,"

I'm gonna get ready for bed.

Unfortunately, getting a good night's sleep

on ground this hard can be, well, very hard.

If you unroll a yoga mat beneath your sleeping bag,

you can create a nice, gentle cushion.

[ Air hissing ]

By blowing up an inflatable pool and filling it full of bedding,

you got yourself a makeshift bed.

So comfortable!

This can hardly be called "roughing it."

Wait. That's your hack? You're gonna pack a whole kiddie pool

and inflate it while you're camping?

It sounds like you're out of hacks, Brooke.

What do you ta-- yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

I can admit hack defeat when I see it.

[ Buzzer ]

You're gonna get laughed out of the campsite.

You know what? It's okay.

I don't really like camping anyways.

Kevin: Coming up, I geek out and ask strangers

to hack my broken glasses.

Miss, you don't have anything that can fix a pair of glasses,

do you? Anything on you?

Brooke: And we test viewers' best hacks

for getting the funk out of a litter box...

Ugh! ...When we return.

♪♪

Kevin: Look out!

[ Rumbling ] A fire-breathing monster

is about to crash through this bridal suite.

It's the bride.

As maid of honor, it's your duty

to protect everyone from her path of destruction,

and that's why you'll need

a hack line of defense against bridezilla!

Where's my maid of honor?!

At 5'4" and 112 pounds,

she may not cut an imposing figure,

but when her bridal bouquet starts to wilt,

she transforms into a beast!

[ Whap! ]

But you can hack a new wilt-proof bouquet

by poaching flowers from the centerpieces

and adding eucalyptus leaves.

Eucalyptus gives off menthol,

which will keep those petals perky.

Lurking in the distance is a threat

almost as dangerous as the bridezilla herself --

the groom's idiot cousin.

What are you doing out here?! You're drinking a beer?

He's in the wedding party,

but he's neglected to wear the right color bow tie.

Doesn't he know that white is for the bride only?

[ Slurps ]

But, by submerging red crepe paper in water

to create a fabric dye,

you can hack that white bow tie into the right color

and keep bridezilla from seeing red.

Looks like bridezilla is ready to stomp down the aisle,

but she's not going anywhere inthose

stupid shoes.

Don't let her take her discomfort out

on innocent bystanders.

Taping two of bridezilla's talons, er, toes together

shifts her center of balance

and makes walking in those heels much more comfortable.

Let's do this.

Nice work, maid of honor.

Bridezilla is on her way

to being married happily ever after,

thanks to you and a hack line of defense.

♪♪

♪♪

There are few things in this world cuter than kitties.

Unfortunately, nothing compares

to the stank of kitty litter.

True, so, today we're testing three viewer-submitted hacks

for getting rid of foul kitty-litter odor.

It's an adorably cute hack mail.

We're gonna prep three different litter boxes

and stinkify them with substitute urine.

What kind of urine is this, kev?

Musky old deer piss.

And then we're gonna let them sit for about five minutes.

Whichever does the best at reducing the odor

gets our certified...

Both: Hack seal of approval.

We need a control, obviously,

so that will be litter box number 1.

We'll spray some urine in there

and then see how it compares to our hacked boxes.

-Ugh! -Oh, okay.

It hit mommy in the nostrils.

It's gonna get you.

Ohh! Yep.

Mm, just like the rhythm, it's gonna get me.

Our first hack comes to us

from Olivia from south haven, Michigan.

A little baking soda, a little ground cinnamon.

Hey. This smells...

Ohh. This reminds me of grandma's butterscotch cookies.

It's missing an ingredient, though.

Oh, yeah. Kick it up a notch.

[ Sniffs ] Mnh!

Time to lid was a little rough on that one, Brooke.

I'm sorry. I'm getting -- I'm getting a flow down.

♪♪

-I'll be damned. -No, come on.

Yeah. No, go ahead.

[ Sniffs ]

It reminds me of, like, Thanksgiving and...

Okay, there's something seasonal about it,

but I wouldn't go quite that far.

Between the baking soda and the actual kitty litter,

the scent's pretty gone.

Hack number 2 comes from Angela in coral gables, Florida.

Green tea's here.

It's gunpowder and oolong.

-Maicha. -Yeah.

Maicha has toasty brown rice in it. It's yummy.

Well, "maicha" do me a favor and spray some deer urine

on this kitty litter?

Go, go! Go.

I don't want to breathe!

[ Sniffs ]

Oh, I'm -- what?

You're like a gazelle at a watering hole.

Ugh. It's not as good as the...

-Yeah, but it's not bad. -It's still there.

It's not terrible, but it's...

I think I'm just growing accustomed to the smell,

which is what cat owners do.

Our third hack comes from Justin in peoria, Illinois.

I know he said he waits till his cat is done, but...

Ugh.

Oh, I caught it on the tail end of it.

You got a little bit? A little bit? Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna shut this off and cover it up.

I don't really think this is a hack.

Yeah, this isn't eliminating odors.

It's just spreading it around.

-All right. -Green tea.

It did a pretty good job covering it up,

but I don't, like, particularly like what I smell.

It smells like tea that's gone bad.

So I think we know...

Yes, compared to the control, there is no doubt here.

Congratulations to Olivia from south haven, Michigan.

Her daughter, her cinnamon and baking soda, they all get our...

Both: Hack seal of approval!

Ohh. I am just sort of in the mood for a snickerdoodle

and a pumpkin latte right now.

Oh, I could go for a tall, chilled glass of deer urine.

Brooke: Coming up...

Can Kevin use a carrot to carry a tune?

I feel like that's deep enough, but she complained.

Plus, Brooke's got company.

Find out how she'll hack her house guest.

-Come on in! -Wow!

♪♪

Nurse hackie. Hello?! Nurse?!

Oh. Sorry. Were you talkin' to me?

I'm sure that you have some trick

to get these bloodstains out of my lab coat.

Dr. Jack...

What exactly are you asking me to do?

One of your tricks. Say it, doctor.

Okay, okay! One of your hacks, okay?

Too bad. I'm on probation.

For god's sakes, your probation is rescinded, okay?

So do whateverhack you need to do.

Okay.

All we need to do

is squeeze this lime juice onto the stain,

sprinkle it with salt,

and let the salt absorb the stain.

Hey, it's working. Wow.

All right, let's go. We've got some more rounds to finish.

The day is not over yet, nurse.

You're darn right, and I'm on probation

-until the end of the day. -Probation?

What are you talking about? I just rescinded your probation.

Thanks, but no thanks. I'm making margaritas.

-Mmm! -Margaritas?

♪♪

♪♪

Ooh. Hey there, friends.

Welcome to let's make a thing,

where one man's trash is another man's treasure.

Let's see what's in the box.

Oh, look at that. We got a carrot!

Now, supposedly, these things are good for your eyes,

but did you know they can be great for your ears?

With a few simple hacks, we can turn this basic root vegetable

into a flute-like musical instrument.

So let's make a thing.

First thing you're going to want to do is cut about

2 inches in from the base of the carrot.

Make sure you keep this little nubbin.

We're gonna need it later.

Next, we need to drill a hole for our air

a little past midway through the carrot.

I feel like that's deep enough, but she complained, so on we go.

Now we need to make a mouthpiece.

We're gonna make two cuts.

Make one incision straight down, about halfway,

and another at a slight slant that meets the base of that cut.

Now, remember this guy?

You were saving this thing. Mm-hmm.

We need to make a plug that goes in here to close off

some of the airway and create some pressure.

Let's try it.

Place it right on in.

Now we need to create some holes for some notes,

or else this thing's gonna be Katy Perry.

One note. Am I right? Ha ha ha!

And the goal with these is, of course,

to not go all the way through.

It's looking like a real instrument.

So now I'll just gather my anime body pillows

and go out and have myself a concert!

[ Carrot playing flute-type notes ]

Huh? That sounded like a thing!

I don't mean to toot my own produce, but it works.

Any requests?

[ Carrot playing flute-type notes ]

That I stop blowing into a carrot?

[ Carrot playing flute-type notes ]

[ Flute plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Applause ]

Brooke: Hey, it's me, Brooke.

I've been hacking all your lives for years.

-I look like jabba the hutt. -Look at this. Jabba Jr.

Here we go.

Okay, that easily holds a large.

But lately, I'm realizing my own life

could use some hacking, too.

This is hack Brooke's life.

Exciting news in the world of Brooke.

I upgraded my life, and I'm a homeowner!

It happened!

The great thing is, I also have a bonus space,

which I can rent out.

I've got my first renter tonight,

and I want to provide some amenities

to create a hotel-like feel for their stay.

So I invited my good friend and diy expert Joselyn Hughes over

to help me with some hacks.

So, you may have noticed this is a kind of small room

with a bathroom right there.

And that's a problem for a lot of people.

Yeah. So, this hack is a toilet spray...

-Uh-huh. -...To mask odors.

Let's make number 2 fun.

I took a number 3 a year ago.

Okay.

So, we're gonna fill this bottle 75% full of water,

and we're gonna fill the rest with alcohol.

-Leaving just a touch of room... -Yes.

...for essential oils.

This is called dreamsicle, which is kind of perfect.

We're gonna add a drop of food coloring

just so that everybody at home can see.

That's it. And you only need a few squirts into the bowl.

Line the bowl before you go.

You want to do a little smell test?

Brooke: I do.

Brooke: Anything smells better than poop, let's be honest.

Okay, what else we got?

Have you used a shower jelly before?

No. It's like jell-o, but you don't eat it.

-You rub it on your body. -Okay.

And it washes your body.

This will be perfect for my renter!

We're gonna boil a cup of water.

-Okay. -Stir in one packet of gelatin.

Whisk that in.

We are going to dump 1 1/2 cups of shower gel into this mixture.

This is just a much cuter way to use shower gel.

'Cause when someone's, like, picking up, like, a goopy,

half-used bottle, that's just gross.

That's why the hotels have the little ones.

Yeah.

All right, so, that's looking good.

Oh, girl. These are so cute.

-Pop these in. -Mm-Kay.

They're gonna harden. All right.

We're gonna wait four hours.

Homemade shower gel. These are cool.

And I hope this guy's ready to rub

50 shower gels all over his body.

Oh, man, I hope I don't get a bad review.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

There's one more thing I'm so excited about.

Ohh! It's kind of my idea. I think it's great.

Okay, so, what do people want

right when they get to their hotel

or, like, a rental or whatever?

Hot shower, good bed, and...

-Alcohol. -...The Wi-Fi info.

♪♪

So I framed my network and the password

so that they never have to ask or bug me.

Oh, that's great!

Yeah, it was a picture of my mother,

and I took it out

and I put a Wi-Fi password in there instead.

I think it's really important to greet your guests.

On their bed. Yes. Yes, absolutely.

Just so they know you're watching them, you know?

They're coming into your world.

[ Knock on door ]

Hey, open the door! It's your house!

Hi! I'm Brooke!

Come on in. [ British accent ] Nice to meet you.

-Welcome! -Wow!

We did a few extra things for you.

So, these are just little individual shower gels.

So you just take one as you go -- several, whatever.

-You're kind of a big guy. -They look edible, but...

Yes, they're not. They're not.

This is the Wi-Fi password.

I like the little frame. It's cute.

It's a really nice space. It's really homely, yeah.

Homely is not -- homey.

-I said "homely." -Yes, you did.

Do you know what that means?

Maybe it's different in england. Inviting, comfortable.

Oh, here it means ugly as [bleep].

Because here we're like, "we want to show you our Fanny,"

but we just mean butt.

Yeah. [ Laughter ]

Kevin: Coming up, we honor the steadfast hacker

the humble lemon.

Brooke: And Kevin geeks out and asks strangers

to hack his broken glasses.

Oh, no. That's a big, old wad of fail.

When we return.

♪♪

Kevin: It's the hack lifetime achievement awards!

Tonight, we recognize an item that's demonstrated

continued excellence in the pursuit of hacking --

the humble lemon.

The lemon first splashed onto the screen

with its role rescuing campers from itchy bug bites.

And who could forget the lemon's consummate skill

as a hand sanitizer?

And soon, in its most immersive role to date,

the lemon will disappear into a laundry machine

to brighten whites.

[ Applause ]

And it will surely warm hearts and living rooms

when its peels are used as kindling.

Bright, vibrant, acidic.

This little tart has transcended

its earliest roles as a simple fruit,

and that's why we're honoring you

with this lifetime achievement award.

Thank you for being so hacking good.

Hey, friends. Don't be alarmed.

It's me -- k.P. Today, I'm cosplaying as a nerd.

Just kidding. Ihate [ Frame snaps ]

But I love testing hacks,

which is why I've got hidden cameras everywhere,

all over the streets of Los Angeles,

to see if strangers can hack a fix for these broken spectacles.

This is lend me a hack.

Hey, do you guys have anything that can fix a pair of glasses?

-No? -Sorry.

That's all right. That's all right.

Hey, do you guys have anything that can fix a pair of glasses?

Anything on you? No?

Sir, do you have anything that could, uh,

put these back together?

Rubber band, a toothpick, a something?

Band-aid will work, I bet.

[ Fanfare plays ]

I'm gonna put the glasses back into the side.

Guess I put the pad in between the two?

I mean, they're not gonna flex anymore, but that's okay.

Okay.

Oh, look at that. What a remedy!

♪♪

But can I dramatically remove the glass--

oh, no. Nope.

[ Buzzer ]

Miss, you don't have anything

that can fix a pair of glasses, do you?

Do you have anything in your bag or...

-A hair tie? Yeah. -Yeah.

[ Fanfare plays ]

All right. I'll hack away with this.

Maybe wrap it around.

Oh, look at that!

Oh, yeah.

I was gonna say, not the most successful thing.

[ Buzzer ]

Pardon, sir, do you have anything

that could fix a pair of glasses on you?

Uhh...ye...

Like an-- like, someone gave me a band-aid.

Actually -- "long-lasting."

This might -- might work? Maybe some gum?

[ Fanfare plays ]

Okay, I feel like that's properly chewed.

-Oh, wow. That's... -That's a lot.

-Oh, Jesus. -Oh, man.

That's a big, old wad of fail.

[ Buzzer ]

You don't happen to have a fix for these, do you?

No? Thank you.

I have no idea why this guy is walking around with trash

in the middle of the day in Los Angeles.

Sir, do you have anything that could --

sorry to bother. Do you have anything

that could fix a pair of glasses?

Uh, I just have trash in my bag.

Can I be like a, I don't know, a 34-year-old raccoon

-and go through your trash? -Yeah, sure.

Let me undo this twist tie real quick.

-Okay, no. That's garbage. -Mm-hmm.

Maybe I can use this.

Do you ne-- do you mind if I use the twist tie?

Yeah, go ahead.

[ Fanfare plays ]

I'm thinking if I jam it through the hole in the glasses...

-There we go. -There you go.

Look at this. I'm cinching it up.

You see what's happening here?! It works.

-This is magic! -Yes.

Is your name criss angel?

[ Bell dings ]

Pretty plain to see that one man's trash

was exactly what I needed to save my glasses.

Thank you, Los Angeles, for lending me a hack.

I must return now to my people.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0