Original subtitles

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks make it worse,

stop what you're doing immediately!

[ Screams ]

♪♪

Hard to believe the first day of senior year is finally here.

So good to see all my friends again.

[ Laughs ] Yeah. Change of plans, shriek.

We're not gonna make it to class today.

Hack's girlfriend broke up with him again last night.

[ Audience groans ]

So we're playing hooky to cheer him up.

Yeah! Rad!

Wait. How are we supposed to skip school

without getting into trouble?

The don't call me hack Morris for nothing.

What are you doing? Hey, put me down!

Time-out!

Don't worry. We're not gonna hurt shriek.

We're just gonna hold him upside down

then wait till all the blood rushes to his head

so he sounds a little extra congested.

Time in.

[ Nasally voice ] Yes. Hello. Principal balding?

Yes, this is shriek's father.

He won't be coming into school today.

He's deathly ill. Here, listen.

[ Congested ] Ugh! I am so sick!

I'm completely congested.

Oh, yes. No, I agree. He sounds awful.

Thank you so much for understanding. Bye.

Principle balding totally bought it!

[ Normal voice ] Party, here we come!

Kevin: Tonight... Let's go!

...on "hack my life"... Oh, ho!

Really thought it was coming up empty.

...we're going off the deep end.

We see if a pool hacked out of hay bales holds water.

Is there chlorine in this?

No. No? No!

Brooke: Kevin begs for help with a hairy situation.

You guys have anything that'll get pet hair off of a suit?

Oh, my god!

Kevin: And Brooke hits a new low

while testing an old potato-peeling hack.

Brooke: Plus, we find out which of these hacks

for unclogging a drain sucks the least.

Have you ever had a colonic?

It's just like that.

Kevin: It's our biggest, baddest,

and wettest episode yet.

This is "hack my life."

Brooke: Ohh. My god.

I'd do anything -- anything for a pool right now.

-Unh-unh, no. No! -Come on!

Brooke, the hack gods have delivered their verdict.

Us and pools do not mix.

Good thing we never learn our lesson,

'cause this is hack or wack.

We get a lot of our hacks from the Internet.

And apparently, a bunch of people out there think

that you can hack a pool out of hay bales.

We've tried worse, Brooke. We did the pickup truck pool.

I'm cold!

We did the dumpster hot tub.

This is the stupidest thing we've ever done.

There was the ill-fated personal garbage-bag pool.

Party of one.

This time, Brooke, we're breaking that curse.

If we're doing this... Mm-hmm.

...we gotta do it right. Yes!

We gotta go big. I'm talking an epic pool party!

Oh, hell yeah! Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

Well, if you want to build one of these bad boys,

you're gonna need some bales of hay.

We are gonna stack ours two-high,

and we're gonna do three by four.

That should give us plenty of room to play in.

And here's the secret. [ Gasps ]

Leave a hole in the middle.

That's where the swimmin' happens!

That's the pool.

Next, you need a really large tarp.

We're using one that's 30 feet by 30 feet.

And what you're gonna do is start tucking it

around the bales of hay like so.

And now it is time for the old moment of truth.

We need to fill this thing with water.

If you're doing it at home, you could use a hose.

But that would take a couple hours,

which is why we brought in this water truck.

'Cause we're lazy, impatient Hollywood types

and we just want it done!

2,500 gallons. Let's go!

Oh.

Hey!

Whoa!

All right. So far, so good!

But can this pool withstand a rowdy party?

Only one way to find out, Brooke.

Pool party!

Yeah!

Whoo!

[ Cheers ]

♪♪

All right, friends, thank you for joining us

at our hay-bale pool party.

Any questions for us

about this wonderfully hacked hay-bale pool?

How much for all this?

There are 28 bales on here.

We paid $11 per bale.

-You do some basic math... -$308.

-$308. -Split it with your friends.

I have a question. Is there chlorine in this?

Brooke: No. [ Laughter ]

So this is an adults-only, no children kind of pool?

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a way to handle the -- yeah.

I love how you think just kids pee in a pool.

[ Laughter ]

Well, you guys, I'm gonna go down the line,

and I just have to ask everybody --

do you think this is a hack or is it wack?

It's a hack.

All right. That's one hack.

-That's one. That's one! -Okay.

I'm gonna go -- this is a hack.

Whoo! Keeping the hack train chuggin' along.

-All right. Cheryl? -It's a hack. I'm no hater.

No hater! Not hating. That's three hacks.

-That's three hacks. -It's wack!

-What? -Oh, that's a wack.

That's one for the wack.

I'm just thinking about the long-term

sustainability and financial balance!

-Curt? -Hack, all the way.

Extreme hack.

-Becks? -Total hack.

-Yeah! -Friends, it's official.

The hay-bale pool...

Is a hack!

[ Cheers ]

[ Ding! ]

Brooke: Look what we've done.

-Were we ever that happy? -No.

♪♪

[ Whip! ]

[ Shling! ]

♪♪

[ Twinkle! ]

♪♪

♪♪

Today, we are hacking a rotisserie chicken

with a bundt pan!

Rotisserie chicken is amazing,

but doyou spinner in your oven?

No. You've got a bundt pan at home, though, right?

This will give you crispy, even skin all the way around,

'cause it's gonna be standing up all scared-like.

So all you need to get started

is a big, lovely bird like this one,

plus some potatoes, celery, chopped onions,

carrots, and garlic cloves.

Okay, now, our next step -- and this is really important

because this bundt pan has a hole in the middle

that a bird is gonna be sitting on --

we need to cover it with foil

so the juices don't go running all over your oven.

All right, buddy. I am so sorry.

But we have to stick it where the sun don't shine.

Okay, now, I want you to breathe in...

And exhale.

And...

Yeah, just relax into it. There you go.

Okay. Check it out.

This chicken likes it up the bundt.

So, we've got our oven preheated to 425 degrees,

so we're just gonna slide this bad boy right in there.

No cover. Nothing.

[ Sighs ]

Ohh! Would you look at this?

This is a beautifully cooked

whole rotisserie chicken to yourself!

It's so good!

Who needs a date

when you've got a perfectly cooked rotisserie chicken?

It doesn't bother me that I'm alone.

[Laughter

Kevin: Coming up, which of these hacks

for unplugging a drain will make the biggest splash?

I just want our viewers to know I'm available for contracting work.

Brooke: Plus, heavy petting goes awry in lend me a hack.

You don't have anything that can get pet hair off of a suit, do ya?

Will Kevin get rubbed the right or wrong way?

Should I be worried?

Find out when the "hack" comes crawling back.

♪♪

Skipping school to throw a luau party?

That's the best idea you've ever had, hack Morris.

Dude, this party will be so much better when Shelly gets here.

She'll have such a rad time, we'll get back together.

Hey, guys! My mom whipped up a big batch

of her signature pineapple and spicy Mayo salad.

Shriek, look out for that limbo pole!

Ohh!

-[ Groans ] -Nice going, shriek.

Now hack will never get leI'd at this luau.

Okay. Time-out.

I gotta admit, guys, this looks pretty bad.

But sometimes the only way to clean up a mess is to make it worse.

♪♪

Processed cheese spread has grease-cutting enzymes.

Put a little dab of this on the Mayo,

and then you wash the jacket on gentle cycle.

[ Buzzer sounds ] Time in.

Whoa! How'd you get your jacket cleaned so fast?!

Hey, they don't call me hack Morris for nothing.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

You probably don't wanna know what's clogging your sink's drain.

You just want it gone.

Oh, yeah. That's the problem right there.

Pappy's been man-scaping again.

Gross.

Well, luckily for you, we've got three hacks

for clearing out your pipes.

-Pipes of your sink, that is. -Ahem.

This is hack mail.

So today, from the comfort of our spacious new hack lab,

we'll be testing out three of your hacks

for eliminating clogs in pipes.

Whichever hack clears the clog the best

and grosses us out the least gets our highly coveted...

Both: Hack seal of approval!

Our first hack comes to us

from Dennis in Kansas City, missour-ah.

So I've gone ahead and drawn a spiral pattern on this bottle,

and we'll just cut along the line

to get a nice plastic strip.

Then I'll just cut little teeth

along each side here, and there you go!

-Ho ho! Great! -Look at that!

-Ooh! Ow! -Careful, careful.

All right. It's got teeth, folks.

Okay.

Can we even make it down there?

Oh, I can feel it.

I'm feeling some furry resistance.

[ Water splashes ]

Oh, okay.

That's dirty sink water in my eye.

Dennis, you're close.

-Oh, wait, wait, wait. -Right at the edge, buddy.

Hold on. Hold on. I think I hooked something.

There's definitely more resistance coming out.

-Ohh! Oh! -Geez.

That's an entire rat's tail!

Do we name it?

Nope. Let's release it to the wild.

Hack number two comes from Matt in des moines, Iowa.

So I'm gonna get going here.

This is always -- okay, there we go. Ooh!

Yep, it gets a little wobbly and weird.

I like that it's fighting you like a marlin.

I don't know why --

you're completely in control of this hanger. It is inanimate.

I just am trying to straighten it out.

Oh, geez! We've got pliers, too,

if you need to actually use them to unkink.

Wrastle that snake!

I just want our viewers to know

I'm available for contracting work.

Here we go! Now we've got a hook.

So, let's see what we got.

Uh...

I don't know. It doesn't feel like I snagged anything.

Did you feel the hair?

Uh...

-Okay. -Oh, there we go.

-Oh! -Oh, ho!

Ohh!

That's like when you keep a hot dog over the campfire too long.

Really thought it was coming up empty.

Our third and final hack comes from Megan in Colorado Springs.

She says...

So we're just gonna jam the nozzle right up to the drain?

Uh...yah.

Because of the overflow here,

there's not gonna be any suction.

It's just gonna kind of cycle through.

So we're gonna have to plug that up once we kick it.

All right? [ Vacuum whirring ]

See? Nothing's happening. Right, right, right.

But if you cover it... Ooh!

Ohh! It's jumpin'! We got a feisty one!

Kill it, Brooke! Kill it!

Okay. You got something? [ Whirring stops ]

Yeah, I mean, I think we're good, actually.

Have you ever had a colonic?

-No, I haven't. -It's just like that.

-Really? -Yeah.

So I'm the drain?

Anyways, did we get the hair ball out?

I think we got the hair ball out.

You wanna pop this bad boy off and see?

Here we go.

-Eww! Gross! -Eww!

-You got it! -And the ghosts of hack past.

Ooh!

All three hacks are completely viable,

but only one can get the coveted seal, Brooke,

so what's it gonna be?

Well, since the bottle was roughly a four-hour build

and I don't have a wet-dry vac at home,

I'm going with the hanger.

-As am I! -Yeah, oh!

-Congratulations, hanger! -Matt!

You just won our coveted...

Both: Hack seal of approval!

I just feel like I know you so well at this point.

-Yeah. We've been through this. -We have.

♪♪

[ Zip! ]

♪♪

[ Blblblblb! ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Engine revs, tires screech ]

[ Liquid bubbling ]

Knock, knock! Who's there?

It's pop quiz. Let me in!

[ Pop! ]

So, you just finished painting your door,

and you realized your tape job wasn't so great.

No way! I guess these paint fumes got me spaced out.

Brooke: Yes, definitely -- paint fumes and nothing more.

Well, don't bug out, big orange.

There's a hack that'll get

your hardware looking shiny and new again in no time.

Let's play pop quiz.

[ Fanfare plays ]

Whoa! Has that sign been here the whole time?!

Brooke: Okay. Let's do this before you lose any more brain cells.

To get paint off of those metal knobs,

should you "a," run them through the dishwasher...

"B," wipe them down with vinegar...

Or, "c," put them in a slow cooker overnight

with laundry detergent?

Man! So many options!

I mean, the dishwasher cleans my silverware,

and the knobs are basically made out of the same stuff.

Brooke: Sure...basically the same.

What the heck? I'm gonna go with "c," the slow cooker!

[ Ding, ding, ding ]

"C" is actually the correct answer.

Ha ha! Yeah!

How did you know that?

I don't know, man.

The fumes must've expanded my horizons!

Wait. How does the cooker actually work?

Brooke: All right. First, fill the slow cooker

with water and two tablespoons of detergent.

Then drop in your paint-covered knobs

and let them cook for six to eight hours.

Once that's done, rinse the knobs with cold water,

and the paint should peel right off.

Sweet! Thanks, bubble lady.

My kitchen's never looked more rad.

Uh, yeah.

Now, seriously, go get some fresh air...

And maybe an eye exam.

Huh?

Brooke: Up next, Kevin serves as a human Guinea pig

for pet-hair removal hacks.

-I'm about to get a little low. -Okay. I asked for this.

Kevin: And later, we take a second crack

at a failed hack from season one.

Wanna get up in that bucket?

Wanna make mama proud.

"Hack my life" returns after this.

♪♪

What's up, good people?

Welcome back to my channel, hax unboxed.

I am Terrell.

I combine the dopeness of life with the magic of opening boxes.

It's a gift.

And today, this is a towel-tong duster.

It's a very simple packaging.

You open it and just take out what you saw in the window.

This is so simple to make.

It's just a pair of plastic tongs, a nice yellow towel,

and some blue rubber bands to hold it together.

Let's put this baby to the test.

Oh, gosh. Look at how much dust I'm getting!

Look at that!

Guys, I love this.

I mean, these are just -- mwah.

[ Coughs ]

But anyway, thanks, guys, for watching.

If you wanna see more, like, comment, subscribe!

See ya next time, guys.

Ugh. Don't know why I put my face that close to that.

That's pretty disgusting.

♪♪

[ Indistinct shouting ]

So, I'm on the way to my brother's second quinceañera

when I spot a gorgeous husky.

I decide to stop, pet it. 5 minutes turns to 30.

The next thing ya know, it looks like

I've been leg-wrestling a damn yeti.

So, how am I gonna get all this fur off my monkey suit?

Well, it's a good thing we've placed hidden cameras

everywhere to see if complete strangers

in Los Angeles can lend me a hack!

How's it going? You don't have anything

that can get pet hair off of a suit, do you?

-Nothing on ya? -No.

You guys have anything that'll get pet hair off of a suit?

-Oh, my god! -Yeah. I know. Yeah.

-No. -I look like a crazy person.

No one is going to stop and help me.

Hey, do you have anything that could get pet hair off of a suit?

Um, I mean, I got --

I got dryer sheets, I guess.

Let's try this.

[ Fanfare plays ]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me give it a whirl.

Can you try -- I know, like, my back is probably pretty gnarly.

You're very generous. You're very sweet. Five stars.

-I'm about to get a little low. -Okay. Yep. I asked for this.

All right. I mean, it's kind of working.

But it's not really doing much.

It's the little hairs that aren't coming off.

You need something way more heavy-duty than that.

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Hi, there.

Yeah, I get it.

I'm a crazy person covered in hair

who looks like he's talking to himself.

Do you have anything that can get pet hair off a suit, by any chance?

-No. -Nothing? Okay, thanks.

Do you have anything that can get hair off of a suit?

-Um... -Like, pet hair?

-I'm coated in it. -Is it dog?

Uh, that's a good question. It's not my suit.

Do you have anything in your purse or anything --

I have balloons.

You think the balloons might get the pet fur off of the suit?

Like a static-electricity thing? Is that what you're thinking?

-Yeah. Like in school. -Let's try it.

[ Fanfare plays ]

Yeah, please -- get in there.

Uhh...

How many times have you rubbed a stranger with balloons?

-It's the first time. -This is your first time?

You're a professional. I would've never thought.

-Can I grab one of these, too? -Yeah, sure.

Do you mind? Let me just...

-I think it's not working. -No, you're right.

-Ohh! -Oh, my god.

I owe you a balloon! I'm so sorry!

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Have anything in your car, ma'am?

No? Windows up. Got it. Okay. All right.

Someone's coming. Someone's coming.

We're gonna make this work.

Hey, how you doing, sir?

-Hey. How are you? -I'm good. Thanks.

Well, I'd be better if I could get this pet hair off of me.

Do you know of any hacks or tricks

or things I can use to get it off?

Let me see if I got something in the car.

-Something in your car? -Yeah.

Yeah, okay, great. That'd be awesome.

Should I be worried?

"Let me go step to the car. I got something in there for ya."

Ohh!

[ Trumpet plays ]

This is the only thing I could find.

[ Laughs ] What? A squeegee in L.A.?

It kind of works.

You've already gone out of your way for me,

but do you mind hitting the back?

This is amazing. Good god. How many pets do you have?

[ Laughter ] Look at that!

I feel like a miata right now in the winter,

but this is actually working!

[ Ding! ]

Apparently, a squeegee saves the day.

Thank you, Los Angeles, for lending me a hack.

Mwah!

Someone stole my gift.

Great.

♪♪

[ Zip! ]

[ Sloop! ]

♪♪

[ Cat meows ]

Kevin: For 15 years, family life was nice and easy.

Now the apple of your eye

is out to destroy you and your happy home.

[ Young woman screams ]

To protect yourself, you'll need a hack line of defense

against your angsty teenager.

Some day, your teen will be a smart,

conscientious contributor to society.

But for now, all she wants is to be left alone.

I mean, is that too much to ask for, mom?!

Ugh!

Save your doors and your eardrums

by sticking felt furniture pads to the door frames.

They won't stop your teen from slamming her door,

but at least they'll dampen the sound.

Ugh!

Of course, the only time your teen wants to leave her room

happens to be after curfew. [ Floorboards creaking ]

Put a pin in her escape plan.

Stick two metal thumbtacks into a clothespin,

then attach it to a battery-powered buzzer

and wedge a popsicle between the tacks to break the circuit.

Now place your hacked alarm near an exit.

Just don't let your neighbors see you do it.

If your teen bumps the stick...

[ Buzzer sounding ] ...She's in for a total buzzkill.

[ Groans ]

Grounding your angsty teen

won't guarantee an end to her mischief.

That credit card is for emergencies, young lady,

not stereo equipment!

To prevent your teen from engaging in retail revenge,

swap out the family credit card for a prepaid debit card.

That'll put a cap on her spending

and keep you from hearing that noise she calls music.

[ Heavy-metal music plays ]

But even with limited cash flow,

your teenager would rather be online

than in the same room as you.

Well, here's a surefire way to get her attention --

cut the Wi-Fi. Ugh!

By changing the Wi-Fi password every few days,

you'll force your angsty teen to do the unthinkable --

actually interact with you.

[ Groans ] Mom! The Wi-Fi isn't working!

Be sure to use this small bit of real human interaction

to your advantage.

Ugh!

So cheers to you, mom and dad!

You can now enjoy that wine in peace,

because you've got a hack line of defense.

Gross.

Kevin: We've got one hack left, people.

Coming up, there's more than one way to skin a potato.

Or is there?

Find out on the drilling conclusion of "hack my life."

♪♪

[ Cheers ]

Hey, as much as I love dancing with you guys,

I was under the impression there'd be girls here.

Forget the girls! We have bigger problems now!

All the ice has melted in the punch!

It's all watered down now!

Ugh!

I think it's time to say "aloha" to this luau,

and I don't mean "hello."

Hold on. Time-out.

These dudes are right.

This party's as uncool as this punch.

That's why earlier, I poured some of it

into a bundt pan, then froze it.

Hey, does hack really think he can freeze time?

-Pretty much. -Weird.

-More sad than weird. -Hmm.

Hack: Now I have a festive ice ring

that'll chill the punch without watering it down.

Time in.

Mind if we try some?

[ Cheers and applause ]

Shelly! You came!

I'm sorry we're late.

Turns out, it's really hard to hack a coconut into a bra.

Not as hard as it's been

living without you for the past 12 hours.

[ Audience awws ]

Will you be my girlfriend again?

Let's take it one day at a time.

Who knows? Maybe we'll have a whole new adventure next week.

[ Laughter ]

[ Applause ]

♪♪

Kevin: It's take two for failed hacks.

This is re-hack.

Nothing -- and I mean nothing --

gets under our skin worse than a good hack gone bad.

Yeah, that's why this potato-peeling hacksperiment

from season one still drives us mad.

According to the worldwide interwebs,

you can actually take a toilet brush,

attach it to a drill,

and this is a potato-peeling powerhouse.

Get in there.

Really smells delicious. But nothing is happening.

Why don't we see if we can pinpoint

the exact moment where this hack went wrong?

Let's.

And, yep, you can see it right there.

This is a soft, bristly nothing.

Oh, that's a dollar-store.

There's no way that's strong enough to peel a potato.

And it does not get that circular vortex.

It's way too clogged.

Nothing is going to move around in there.

We were setting ourselves up for failure.

I think we officially know

what we need to do to turn this hack right.

For this re-hack, we're bringing out the big guns --

a stronger, sandpaper drill bit.

We also have a drill with more horsepower.

Beautiful. [ Drill whirs ]

-Oh, no. -I officially feel threatened.

-Yeah. -Wanna get up in that bucket?

-Wanna make mama proud. -All right.

Okay, here we go.

[ Drill whirring ]

Oh, and look at that water action. Oh, my god!

Look at it swirling, Brooke!

The important thing is,

we're addressing one of america's biggest problems.

Let's maybe -- well, let's -- you wanna "ghost" it?

[ Romantic music plays ]

Yep. We're making 'tatos.

Oh, wow.

[ Sobbing ] I feel like it's my birthday!

Look how brown it's getting, Brooke.

Ah!

I'm doing it! Brooke!

I'm doing it!

[ Shrieks ]

[ Laughter ]

I'm a little dirty.

[ Laughter ]

Well, so, let's see.

Oh, hey!

Whoa! This looks great!

I would put these in a pot and boil them and mash them.

I think this time, the hack was a lot more...A-peel-ing.

Ohh. You have a latke more potato puns this season.

Am I right?

I thought you'd be russet-y, but...

Ohh! ...Back at it!

No, I've b-- I've been...Potatoes.

Mm-hmm.

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