Original subtitles

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks make it worse,

stop what you're doing immediately.

Brooke: Hack at your own risk, hackers.

Aaah!

Kevin: "Hack 911" is filmed on location as it happens.

Man: Attention, all units, we have reports of a couple

just moved in together

after only six months of dating.

-Oh! -God!

-Yikes! -Let's go!

[ Siren wails ]

Let's go.

♪♪

[ Siren wails ]

Man: This is stupid. I had it under --

hack 911 coming in! I'm gonna kill you!

No, no, this is -- whoa, whoa, whoa!

You are doing exactly what I'm talking about.

Everyone, calm down right now.

Tell us what's going on.

We're late for another dinner reservation.

Every time we have plans, he waits until we're there

to realize that he may have left the stove on.

-Ooh. -What?

Everything is gonna be fine.

I have the solution for you guys.

Okay? Stand back.

Wait, are you calling for backup?

No, I am taking a photo of the stove.

That way, the next time panic starts to set in,

all you have to do is look at the photo

instead of driving all the way home.

-That's it? -That's it.

Thanks, guys. I'll show you the door.

[ Glass shatters ]

-Whoa! -Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Brooke: Tonight, on "hack my life"...

-Godspeed. -Look out below!

-Oh! -Kevin lets go of his baggage

to test hacks for safeguarding souvenirs?

Oh!

Kevin: Lazy trainer Brooke shows you how to make massive gains

without setting foot in a gym.

You got to paint it and want it!

Brooke: Plus, a hack that promises to transform your baby

into a mopping machine.

You missed a spot. Get back in there.

Kevin: Prepare yourself to move...

You can rest when you're dead!

...groove, and get bruised.

This is "hack my life."

Hey, vacation's over, friend.

It's time to pack your bags and fly home with your tan

and your highly breakable souvenirs.

[ Chuckles ]

Ooh.

If there's one thing you can count on when you're traveling,

it's that your luggage is going to get manhandled,

so today, we're testing out some hacks

that could keep the fragile stuff in your suitcase

nice and safe as it arrives to its final destination.

This is hack vs. Hack.

[ Cheering ]

Today, I'm here with the Neal family.

We've got papa Steve, mom Alice, and their son Joshua,

who are wrapping up a whirlwind trip

to the city of angels.

You've got the souvenir t-shirt.

Did you amass a lot of souvenirs while you were in town?

Way too many.

Yeah, I love Hollywood boulevard, it was awesome.

Really? The graffiti and shattered dreams?

Smell of desperation every morning?

I'm sorry, I'm a miserable person.

Oh, that's okay.

[ Laughs ]

Well, in case you didn't notice,

each one of you have two snow globes in front of you,

but they're very, very fragile.

So today, we want to test out some hacks that could protect

these delicate snow globes from mishandling

as you travel back home to Ohio.

The three hacks are right here underneath this sheet.

Are you ready to see them?

-Yes. -Sure.

Here...

They are!

-Oh. -Cool.

We've got popcorn, pool floaties, and magazines.

You each get to choose one, then you'll pack your suitcases.

The winner of this hack vs. Hack will be the person

who has the most snow globes intact when I am done dropping

your precious memories from that ladder.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

All right, Joshua, you are the first pick.

Which hack would you like?

Um, I'm gonna have to go with the popcorn.

I'm pretty hungry. Alice?

Oh, the floaties, for sure.

All right, Steve, you've got the magazines.

All right, you've got two minutes to safely

pack your snow globes.

Let's get packing.

Joshua, the tactic here is just gonna...

-Well, not all of it. -...Dump the popcorn.

Not all of it, no.

Okay, we're off to a great start.

Joshua is eating his hack.

Steve is ripping away.

Alice is just drowning in floaties.

That's ironic.

[ Alice laughs ]

And there goes junior filling popcorn

around the edges of the bag.

And there's mom pulling for a second floatie.

Alice: Oh, my gosh.

Dad is ripping the magazine pages

and layering them between the snow globes.

Sounds like a sound strategy.

Well, it sounds good in my mind.

Time is almost up.

3...

2...

1. Time is up.

Hands off your hacks.

All right, the suitcases are stuffed.

Let's drop some bags.

♪♪

All right, Joshua, you're up first.

Godspeed.

-Ahh! -Oh.

[ Laughter ]

No glass crackage.

But who knows?

Alice, you're up next.

Goodbye, snow globes. [ Laughs ]

She made peace with her souvenirs.

Good luck to you, Alice.

-Huh! -Aww.

-Oh, no! -Ohh!

[ Laughter ]

-Oh, no. -That one's a goner.

Steve, unless this thing explodes...

I hope it does.

All right. Here we go, magazines.

3, 2...

Oh, I dropped on 2.

Ooh, that's dented.

That one hurt me.

-Should we take a look? -Yeah.

Oh!

Still have one, though.

Yeah, there we go. That's solid, okay.

Let's see how the floaties fared.

Oh, gosh.

Ooh.

Okay, all right. We got one.

But I remember all the fluid leaking out, so there must be.

It just shattered -- look at it.

Okay, that one's definitely shattered.

So floatie and popcorn are officially tied.

Dad, I haven't seen any leaking yet.

Ah. One survived.

One survived. Oh, that's one in perfect condition.

Is there a subtle leak here?

I don't see it.

Winner!

That's two perfect snow globes.

Congrats to you, Steve.

Hashtag, "dad winning," right there.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

♪♪

Brooke: Whoo!

[ Grunting ]

Yeah!

Ugh!

Ugh. Hey, guys.

If you're anything like me, you hate going to the gym.

But did you know that all of those chores and procrastinating

that you do to avoid exercise is actually exercise?

Hell, yeah.

So today, we're gonna hack some ways to burn calories

without it feeling anything like a gym routine.

Mopping the floor for an hour straight burns over

300 calories.

How many calories does it burn to call a cleaning lady?

Significantly less.

Now we're gonna hit the next station.

Just 58 more minutes.

For all you hackers who believe in the Chinese discipline

of feng shui, good news,

redecorating your space for 30 minutes

can burn up to 200 calories.

You are crushing it with the calories

and crushing it with your design acumen.

-Feel good. -But you know what?

I don't feel like you want it 'cause this room is a mess.

Let's redecorate, okay?

You can rest when you're dead. You can rest when you're dead.

I'll be at the next station.

In the hour it takes to paint a large room,

you can burn over 200 calories.

Yes! Push through the pain.

You got to paint it and want it.

Spend an hour in a tub filled with 104 degree water

and you'll melt away 130 calories.

All right, Mara, relax.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know. I don't see you relaxing hard enough.

I need to see you relax harder. Do you want it?

Do you believe in this relaxation?

That's my girl.

Mara's the modified version of the bathtub workout.

She's already ingested half a bottle of wine

and a few quaaludes.

Okay, we're moving on to another workout.

[ Sighs ] I'm exhausted.

I don't think I could make it to the gym if I wanted to.

Plus, I don't need to because sleeping

for an hour burns 63 calories.

I've Brooke Van poppelen, your lazy trainer,

and I want you to get out there and live your best lazy life...

As soon as you wake up.

Kevin: Coming up, can you crawl your way to clean?

Soak it up, babies!

And later, a hack that takes the frustration

out of pitting fruit.

You like that, pomegranate!

Kevin: It's all happening when the hack strikes back.

Kevin: We now return to "hack 911."

[ Glass shatters ]

-Ahh! I can't this anymore. -Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Everything was fine just a second ago.

What happened?

When we were dating, you never had a single dirty dish

in your house.

I just don't get it.

I just -- I hid the dirty dishes under the bed before you came.

-Boo. -What?

Doesn't that take more effort than just washing them?

This relationship is doomed.

No. No, it is not.

Not while we're on the case.

All you got to do is put a little cling wrap

on your plate before you eat,

and then remove it when you're done.

Just like that, dinner is served.

Maybe disgusting, but better than dishes under the bed.

See, guys, moving in together can be messy,

but your dishes don't have to be.

Looks like our job here is done.

Bye, guys.

You left the stove on.

There are some hackers who are so good

they can actually sell their hack on the Internet.

But if hacks can be ordered, don't we at least owe it

to our audience to try them out?

And if it's a good hack, we decide whether to keep it

or send it back.

Kevin: This is hack delivery.

-[ Gasps ] -Ta-da!

So, this is the baby mop.

It's essentially a onesie with mop pieces

sewn in strategic places

so that your child can clean the floor while it crawls.

$6 American dollars worth of material.

Should we put it to the test?

Yeah.

Before trying out the real thing,

we made some mini versions for these creepy robot dolls.

So we're gonna test them out with some spilled milk.

All right, babies, do your thing.

[ Dolls squealing ]

Soak it up! Soak it up, you little critters.

There you go! There they go!

Don't just splash it around.

There you go. Come to daddy.

Come to daddy. Got a little traction issue.

You missed a spot. Get back in there.

Get back in there.

This floor is looking drier.

It took a lot of guidance...

Yep. ...And a fleet of robo-babies

to clean up a very small spill,

but an actual baby crawling around,

doing natural zig-zags and patterns and stuff

as opposed to just straight robotic line,

that might actually work.

Kevin, what are you --

hi, buddy.

Oh, no.

This is wolf.

He's a mop! He's so ready to clean.

Yeah, let's try a little liquid lunch.

Oh, boy. Put that mop to the test.

Ready? How's your baby mop outfit?

There you go.

Ohh...boy.

He's gonna get this, Brooke. Yeah, he's gonna.

He's gonna crush this.

Okay, we just got to get the mop on there and less the hands.

Leave. Oh, there we go.

Super absorbent. There we go.

[ Crying ] I know, okay.

Okay, okay. Aww, mister!

Buddy, I know.

[ Crying ]

You almost got it. I know.

Ohh.

That's how we feel about this hack, too.

Oh, there you have it, the baby mop.

You know, kev, let's start out with a few of the positives.

It fit the baby.

But the biggest problem was that the baby absolutely hated it.

Yeah. So what do you say, kev?

Oh, I say we send it back.

Don't put your baby in a mop costume, all right?

Goodbye, baby mop.

♪♪

♪♪

Kevin: Joining the office carpool seemed like a good idea.

"It'll save money," you thought.

"It's good for the environment," you reasoned.

-Come on, get in. -Let's go!

I'm gonna be late for my meeting.

Now you're stuck shuttling the goons

you call co-workers around.

And to keep your sanity, you'll need

a hack line of defense against your commuter chaos.

Nancy from hr loves her morning coffee,

but given how much her to-go cup leaks,

she must hate your car's interior.

To keep the fabric on your car seats

from getting an unsolicited brown finish,

folding a straw in half will make the perfect plug

to keep that caffeine contained.

Here's to a "java" well done.

Frank in accounting always hits the gym before work.

Really, uh, really hit it hard this morning, eh, frank?

-Oh, yeah. -His funk is powerful.

But not as powerful as the odor-defeating power

of this hacked car air freshener.

Just add pine scented essential oil to a wooden clothes pin

and clip it to your car's vent.

This air freshener will blow frank's funk away

every time you turn on the a/c.

[ Horns honking ]

Uh-oh.

All this stop-and-go traffic isn't sitting well

with Denise from admin.

Denise: [ Belches ] I think I'm gonna be sick.

She's carsick, and there's no time to stop.

Help Denise get a grip on her stomach

by gently grabbing her hand.

Hey, let me show you something.

Then, using your thumb, make a circular pattern

on her inner wrist for two to three minutes.

That's actually kind of working.

It's a pressure point, and applying slow,

steady motion reduces nausea.

Okay, that's good.

You made it to work, and just in time,

because Denise looks like she needs some personal space.

Time to ask for that raise because you've got

a hack line of defense.

[ Alarm beeps ]

Get your game face on 'cause it's time for a pop quiz.

Trying to get seeds out of a pomegranate is the pits.

Get out, you little maggots!

Hey, we've all been there, but don't torture yourself.

There's a simple solution right at your black,

leather-clad fingertips.

It's time for a pop quiz.

Ohh, I loves quizzes.

Okay. To get the seeds out of a pomegranate, should you,

"a," squeeze lightly around the middle of the fruit?

"B," give the pomegranate a tap with a wooden spoon?

Or, "c," scrape out the seeds with the heel

on those very intimidating-looking stilettos.

So my options are either choke out the seeds,

spank out the seeds,

or walk all over this little pathetic piece of fruit

until it breaks down?

I feel like you're twisting my words a little bit,

but yeah, those are basically your choices.

I'll say "a," choke out the seeds.

All right, that might work for your client over there,

but the answer is actually "b,"

the wooden spoon technique.

Cut your pomegranate in two and give each half a nice,

firm thwack.

[ Grunting ]

You like that, pomegranate, huh?

Oh, it likes it.

Oh, look at that. Let's get back to work.

Want to stick around?

Uh-oh, looks like my bubble's floating away.

Up next, hear that?

It's our spot the hack speaker test.

Behind here is the answer.

Ohh!

Find out if these speakers are trash or treasure

when we return.

Hack heads, who's ready to unbox some hacks with me today?

That was a rhetorical question because I'm gonna unbox

these hacks whether you're ready or not.

So let's get to it.

This is hax unboxed.

Today, I have a pair of water-bottle sandals.

You can go to an exclusive night club,

show off on your tinder date.

Look at this -- this foot has six toes.

I'm gonna send this to my cousin Eddie.

He's got six toes.

Step one, empty the bottle.

Are you kidding me? I have to drink all of this?

I ain't got time for that.

Oh, I already don't want anymore.

♪♪

Oh, we have to gently smash the bottles.

I think we're smashed.

All right, so now that I am ready to put this on,

all you got to do is make sure

that you have some leeway in here, little divot there.

Then you just slide it on.

Look at that.

Okay, you just got to just sometimes just wiggle it on.

Boom. These look great.

So I'm gonna walk around in these and see how they hold up.

It's not the easiest --

oh! Oh, you got to break these in.

♪♪

Interesting. Not what I was expecting.

More work than what it's worth,

but continue to like, comment, subscribe,

and keep on hacking 'cause it's fun.

So you've spent hours curating a party playlist

of the frothiest jock jams,

and you want to blast it out to all your friends,

but you know that's gonna set you back

the cost of a pricey smartphone speaker.

Or is it?

This is spot the hack.

So to hack your own smartphone speaker,

you're just gonna need a few items.

We need a paper tube, some plastic cups,

and a pair of scissors.

So first you want to cut a slit in your paper towel holder,

preferably the size of the device

that you're gonna be fitting inside.

Then you want to cut some holes into these plastic cups

because you will be jamming the paper towel holder

inside of them.

Perfect.

Once the phone is inserted, you can aim the plastic cup

wherever you want the sound to go.

It's time to get this party started.

To test if people can hear the difference,

we set up two listening booths.

We've hidden our hacked speaker in one

and the store-bought speaker in the other.

So let's see who can spot the hack.

Step right up, see if you can spot the hack.

I've got music.

Anybody wants to do it?

Hello, there. Hi, there.

How you doing? You have a quick second?

-Uh... -Just two seconds, two seconds.

I'm Kevin. Scott.

What if I told you that you could hack a portable speaker

that's just as good as that $20 thing

that you bought online -- would you believe me?

I don't think so.

You really don't,

but we're gonna put it to the test right now.

I have two soundproof rooms.

There's a store-bought smartphone speaker.

The other has something that I hacked together

in 15 seconds for 15 cents.

All right. So I'm gonna have you go

into each room, listen to some music,

and then come on out and tell me if you can spot the hack.

Okay.

[ Music playing ]

All you have to do is hire a couple friends,

have them stand around with cameras,

you can get people to do whatever you want.

[ Music playing ]

This is the trunk of my oldsmobile, hop right in.

Don't worry about the tarp and the rope.

This is gonna end well for you.

Come on out, Scott.

All right. Step right up.

First room is the blue room.

All right. They're very trustworthy.

Sounds like a speaker from the '80s.

Yeah.

Doesn't sound bad.

[ Music playing ]

[ Music stops ]

-We're done. -Song's over.

Kevin: Keep that music in your head.

Let me let you into the old yellow room here.

Try to pay attention to what sounds different.

Start the music.

[ Music playing ]

Okay, this is a little less sharp.

[ Music continues ]

All right, come on out.

So which room do you think contains our hack?

I would say the yellow one.

The blue one, the music sounded a lot clearer,

whereas the yellow one sounded a little awful.

From the blue room, that speaker definitely sounded

a little bit louder and a little bit sharper.

I thought this one was much better than the one

in the blue room.

The yellow one has the hack speaker.

I think the blue one has the hack.

I think the yellow room contains the hack.

-Yellow. -I think it's the blue one.

Kevin: All right, so five people think that the speaker

in the yellow room is our hack.

Let's check out the yellow one.

Behind here is the answer.

Is the yellow booth our hack?

No, it's not. It's the store-bought speaker.

Oh!

So let's find out what fooled your highly trained ears.

Ready to see this hack?

Yes.

No way! Oh, my gosh!

Wow.

Two plastic cups and a paper towel roll.

That is cool. I like that.

-That's it. -Oh, my gosh.

Stop wasting your money on expensive sound systems!

The hack version, it works just as good.

If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get laughed at.

♪♪

Brooke: Coming up, Kevin gives an old shoebox

the Hollywood treatment.

TV magic!

See if this home theater hack is worthy of the big screen

when we return.

Kevin: We now return for the conclusion of "hack 911."

You know, we actually, one time on our job,

saved a couple who'd only been together for like six months.

That just happened on this shift.

Sorry, is it too soon to reference a job well done?

Man: Attention, all units, we have reports of

a bright light assault from a couple

who just moved in together.

Too soon!

Hack 911 coming in.

Eyes! Aah!

-Hey. -Hey!

What happened?

Oh, my eyes.

I'm blind.

He blinded me.

-I -- -whoa!

-Goodness! -Ned! Ned!

I don't know what happened. I was just using my phone

as a flashlight, and I guess it's brighter than I thought.

Just turn it off.

I need to read to fall asleep. It's my thing.

Okay, slowly put the phone on the ground

and slide it over to me.

Slowly.

When are people gonna learn these things are not toys?

You've got to use them responsibly.

That means taking a bottle of water

and putting it on your phone,

diffusing the light to create a soft personal lantern.

Wow. Incredible.

Now I can read without blinding you.

And in the soft light of that lantern,

now I can see what really matters.

Living together is about compromise.

It's not about how long we've been dating.

It's about making it work because we want to be together.

It's a little bit about the hacks, too, though, right?

-Jack. -What?

You guys are still here?

-We get it. -Good night, guys.

Kevin: "Hack 911," to protect and hack.

♪♪

Hey, welcome to "let's make a thing!"

Where one man's trash is another man's treasure.

Let's see what's in our box.

Oh.

A water bottle.

A shoebox.

Little magnifying glass.

Ah, but look a little bit closer

'cause we're gonna use this lens to hack movie night

and turn a shoebox into a full-blown projector.

The lens of our projector's going to go

on the shorter side of the box.

We're just gonna trace around it.

Got to cut a hole for the image to go through.

It's a circle.

Look at that, the circle's cut out.

TV magic!

But there's gonna be a little bit of gap,

so you want to close that

by just lining the hole with some tape.

Now we take our magnifying glass and secure it to the box.

Next, you'll need your smartphone.

The smartphone's going to be the screen

with which the image is being projected from.

We need something to hold it inside the box,

and that is where the water bottle comes into play.

So half of it should be a little shallow.

And you want it to come up higher in the back.

Pop the cellphone inside, it will rest comfortably

inside our projector.

A few things -- you want to put your screen

brightness all the way up.

Two, you want to lock the orientation settings

on your phone.

You want to put the phone in upside down.

This magnifying glass is a convex lens,

which is going to magnify the image,

but in process, going to reverse it.

That said, we can press play on our video, dim the lights,

and let the fun begin.

[ Laughing ]

Get her off, he's great!

Oh, man. It works!

Not only does it work, but it just so happens to be playing

the best show on TV, the best show on the Internet,

and now it's best show from a shoebox

because we just hacked a thing.

Shh, the best part.

Shut up!

♪♪

[ Laughs ]

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