Original subtitles

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed to make your life better.

Kevin: So, if any of these hacks make it worse,

stop what you're doing immediately.

Narrator: Find out what happens behind locked doors on

"hacks del corazón".

Señorita, you are even more beautiful

than your husband led me to believe.

Put your brush down and make love to me.

Man:Mi amor...

[ Gasps ]

...it is I, señor solución.

I've come home from work early.

Quick, hide behind these curtains.

Coming, husband.

The door must have locked behind me by accident.

I will make sure this never happens again.

Señor, no!

Huh?

By stretching this rubber band over the latch,

we can hold it in place. Oh...

See how the door closes and opens with the greatest of ease.

Mmm,muy inteligente.

Si, already drawn the curtains,

let us take a moment of passion right here on the floor.

Ooh.

Narrator: Locks only keep honest people out on "hacks del corazón".

Brooke: Tonight... Okay, all right!

-...on "hack my life." -Yahtzee!

Winner winner, chicken dinner.

Kevin and a barbecue master hack a file cabinet

into a meat-smoking machine.

Now it's time to collate our meat.

Kevin: Brooke gets road rage while gaming L.A.'s

on-street parking rules. -Thank you.

-Thank you very much. -No, [bleep] You very much.

Okay, okay.

And we rip into hacks for destroying documents

when you don't have a shredder.

Was that a photo of you and Kim jong-il?

Things are about to get steamy.

Smells like a hot bowl of farts.

This is "hack my life".

Nothing's sweeter than finding a parking spot

right in front of your destination.

We're gonna show you how you can hack your way

into keeping a parking space

that you can use time and time again.

This is "gaming the system".

It's estimated that drivers in Los Angeles

waste 85 hours a year looking for parking.

That's just under 14 minutes a day.

Listen, if one of these hacks can prevent another driver

from taking our spot for even that long,

we'll consider the system gamed.

Yes, and our first hack -- well, it should be familiar

to anybody with coworkers or roommates.

It's the same thing you do to stop them

from eating all your leftovers.

Label it -- just use chalk to write something vague

but authoritative on the spot, like "reserved".

Okay, think this will hold?

It looks official.

Why don't we head over to my surveillance area

and start the clock.

All right, there's our spot.

Stay out of the zone, stay out of that zone,

stay out of the -- okay.

Okay. -Wait.

Blinkers on, blinkers on -- someone's peeking! [ Gasps ]

-Uh... -Wait.

-Oh. -Op!

Ha-ha!

We just really inconvenienced somebody's day.

We really did.

All right, we're coming up on the halfway Mark.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, they put it in -- -that is a --

that is a lining up to do a three-point turn.

Yeah, I'm calling this hack.

Time of death -- 7 minutes, 32 seconds.

[ Buzzer sounds ]

This next hack is an enemy to cars everywhere.

That's right.

The orange traffic cone --

place it where you'd like to have your car.

-I like this. -Way easier than the chalk.

Okay, oh, wait -- oh, oh, ooh, we got a car wants to --

oh, blinker but that they see the cone.

-What is... -You can't --

I mean, there's physically a cone blocking that space, so...

Yeah, I wouldn't if I were you. I would just keep going.

Yeah.

All right, we're 9 minutes deep and that cone is holding strong.

It's slowing down, looking for a spot.

Oh, don't slow down, don't slow down.

-Maybe she's -- -oh, wa -- is she gonna --

control yourself, sweetheart.

Oh-ho, no.

Oh.

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Our final hack requires just a little bit of teamwork.

Yeah, you just get a friend to physically

hold the space for you.

How 'bout it, Kevin?

I can be that friend, Brooke.

Just call me "the human shield".

I got a man-spread. -You do.

No, that's good. -Take up some space.

You look crazy.

-Keep and eye out. -Oh -- oh -- hey, sorry.

Yeah, no, my friend's -- my friend's right over there.

I'm sorry, I'm holding the space.

Sorry about that. Hey, Jenny! Come on in!

[ Laughs ]

Jenny's not real. I made her up.

[ Horn honks ] Look alive.

Sorry, I'm holding the space for my friend.

I'm sorry. Soooorry. [ Horn blares ]

Wow, she was quick to honk.

I'mnot

less than a minute to go, kev.

Hey, sorry.

So sorry, I'm saving this spot for my friend.

Ooh, okay -- almost got me.

-You can't save a space. -Hey, Kevin, it's fine.

It's cool. It's cool.

He's holding it for my car.

I'm gonna go get it and park it in a minute.

Whatever. Okay, fine, whatever. It's a thing --

there are other parking spots.

I'm sorry, sir, thank you, thank you.

All right, whatever. [Bleep] No, [bleep] You very much.

-You [bleep]. -Okay, okay.

Brooke. Brooke!

I really like the way you defended this parking space.

[ Ding! ]

So, it's not the most efficient hack, but, you know,

having a friend hold your spot is actually maybe effective.

It's viable, yes, but for your safety and your sanity,

maybe you should just go around the corner and find a meter.

-Oh, my god, there he is. -Yeah, okay, go.

It's your space!

♪♪

♪♪

Every time I try and get crafty and knit myself a scarf,

my yarn turns into a tangled mess.

Now what?

Kevin: Simple -- just run the yarn through a funnel

to create a knot-free dispenser.

Brilliant.

So now I'm knitting like a champ,

but I have to pour soup from a pot into a jar,

and now I've got no funnel.

Now what?

Kevin: All right, snip the corner off of a plastic sandwich bag

and line the jar with it to make a spill-proof funnel.

Okay, so, I managed not to get soup anywhere,

but now I'm out of sandwich bags,

and I'm a girl who likes bagels on the go.

Now what? -That's easy.

You can repurpose a cd spindle as a bagel caddy.

It's kind of like a hard plastic shell for your breakfast.

Ah! Well, my little bagel sandwich has never been fresher.

But now my cds are covered in scratches.

Now what?

Yeah, I still listen to cds. So what?

Kevin: Don't panic.

You can buff those scratches

by adding a layer of petroleum jelly

and wiping off the excess with rubbing alcohol.

Now I can get back to listening to bell biv devoe

without missing a beat.

Oh, but now my lips are chapped

because I just used all my petroleum jelly.

So, now what?

Kevin: No problem.

Just take a green tea bag and press it

to your lips for five minutes.

The tannins will soften them right up.

Huh, yeah, this feels great.

This is a great hack. Cool, thanks.

Coming up...

Are those faxes?

Yeah, that's how I used to get my erotica.

...a hack-master shows Kevin

how to transform this hunk of junk

into a meat smoker.

Kevin: And later, take those documents from the file cabinet

and hack them to pieces.

Say hello to the super shredder.

We put paper-shredding hacks to the test when "hack my life"

returns.

Narrator: The truth comes to light on the next "hacks del corazón".

-Ah. -Ah.

It is so dark in here.

I will open these curtains. [ Gasps ]

Wait!

Dios mio!

Who is this?!

-Um. -I am the painter.

You were in such a rush to make love,

you didn't notice the portrait of me.

I don't believe it.

How can you possibly paint in this light?

There is only this itty-bitty window.

But, if we tilt this mirror, we can bounce

what little bit of sunlight there is

onto señorita's face to give her a warm, radiant glow.

She is perfection.

Si,muy, muy

now, I willvamanos can get back to your painting.

♪♪

[ Door opens ]

♪♪

Oops, forgot my briefcase.

Que?!

Ohh...

Narrator: Some things are better left in the dark

on "hacks del corazón".

Come on, no. No!

Hey, kevs, everything okay?

You seem just like a little stressed.

Brooke, I need to shred these papers like a.S.A.P.

And the damn thing is jammed.

I'm just gonna eat it. I'm just gonna eat it. Okay, okay, no, no, no.

Take a step back, relax.

It's "hack mail".

Today, we're testing your hacks for rendering

sensitive documents completely unreadable.

The hack that destroys this paper trail

the best will be awarded our hack seal of approval.

Let's shred, baby.

Hack number 1

comes from Steve in corpus christi, Texas.

What makes this bit special is that, obviously,

you have the pointy tip... -Mm-hmm.

...that should Pierce into the paper,

and then the flatter wings...

-Will get in there. -...Should shred it on up.

-Okay. -All right.

-First one's down. -You watch your hand, okay.

Yeah, no, I'm good.

Oh, that's -- oh! Oh!

Ah!

Okay, all right!

You all right?

Well, I definitely tore up one corner.

So, so far this is -- -it needs to be unreadable.

Yeah. 'Cause that was not very effective.

Hack number 2 comes to us from marilynn in bay city, Michigan.

Okay, was there anything particular you

wanted to get rid of?

-Oh, pretty much everything. -All of it, okay.

Yeah. Yeah, 'cause if I don't get rid of one of these,

then one of these cases goes over my head

and then I end up in a lake.

All right, in we go.

What do we got?

-These. -What?!

You've made asbestos.

Yeah, go ahead and open a few credit cards.

Oh, my god, this did a really amazing job.

This is awesome.

Does it mess up the washing machine?

No. -No way.

It's in the pillowcase. -That's what I mean!

No, I mean, you should just have a pillowcase

that you don't really care about.

This is done. Let's see what our third and final hack has for us.

Dana in Boulder, Colorado says...

Say hello to the super-shredder.

Oh, hey, super-shredder.

That's hardcore.

Let me try this super-shredder on out here.

Okay. -Super shred.

-No, too much paper. -Okay.

You want to switch roles and see exactly how difficult it is?

Do less -- like, two pieces of paper,

which a regular pair of scissors could handle just fine.

Let's be clear, yes.

Even this is really hard with four pairs of scissors.

I don't want to be holding this anymore.

So, if you are fleeing from your past,

it looks like the washing machine gets our official...

Hack seal of approval.

Yes, I can deposit this.

Just give me a second...

What do you mean you don't take soggy bills?

This is how "hack my life" pays us.

♪♪

♪♪

There is no worse feeling than realizing

you lost your car keys,

and then realizing that you found them.

So, what am I gonna do?

Well, I guess I'm gonna ask strangers in Los Angeles

to "lend me a hack".

You guys have anything I could --

I locked my keys in the car.

Cool. [ Horn honks ]

I'm locked out. What do you want?

Oh, hey, sir.

Hi, sorry to bother. I locked my keys in the car.

Do you happen to have anything

that I might be able to get in here with?

You could smash the window, obviously.

Yeah, I could go straight through the window.

I'd prefer to not do that, if possible.

I do have a tennis ball.

I could work with that.

I saw a clip of somebody -- you cut a hole in a tennis ball,

and you put it up to the lock, and you press,

and the air pressure actually pops the lock up.

Wait, but is it okay if I cut a hole in this

with my pocket knife?

Yeah, go for it. Yeah.

Cool, man, thank you.

I don't want to hold you up, but I really need to get in there.

This should pop the lock.

No.

Come on.

Come on, tennis ball.

Come on.

I'm gonna dent this door.

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Hey, I'm sorry to bother.

I'm so -- hey, I locked my keys in my car.

I'm just looking for -- if there's anything

that I could use to pop it open, or...

Uh... Maybe get in through the window.

The only thing I can think of is shoelaces, maybe.

You do like the slipknot, right?

-Yeah. -And, like, you pull it through,

and you, like, try to wrap it around that.

Okay.

Okay -- ooh, I got it on this side.

Oh, yeah? Go ahead and pull.

I think it can -- yeah.

Yeah, okay. -All right, all right.

Try -- pull it a little bit more on that side.

Yeah, okay. Oh, we are so close!

We are just over it!

Yeah, oh! -Oh, my gosh!

-Oh! Come on. -Ah! No!

-No, it's getting smaller! -No!

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Sir. Oh! Yes, yes!

Please! Hey!

Two seconds. I'm so sorry.

I locked my keys in my car,

and I love what you have in your hand right there.

Man: You do?

Well, this is on-trend. It's very sensible.

But I mean the hanger.

Yeah, you could probably use that.

That's what I was gonna ask. Do you mind?

No, I'm gonna be okay without these.

I have a few of these at home.

Awesome.

All right, I'm gonna try to get this guy apart.

That's gonna be step one, right?

Yeah.

Then we snake it through the door

and hook it on the lock switch.

Hold on. I got an idea.

Doorstop. -All right.

We can go in through here.

Okay. -No, I see it.

Okay, we're in.

I got to go up, right?

Yeah.

It's right there.

All right, come on. You got this.

You got this.

Oh, it's so close. Mama wants it.

Mama wants it -- oh!

[ Cheering ]

-All right! -Whoo!

The owner of this car is gonna be pissed!

Whoo-hoo! [ Dinging ]

Congratulations, man. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

All right, man.

Thank you, Los Angeles for lending me a hack!

Brooke: Up next, Kevin gets his meat smoked by a hack-master.

Fresh from the filing cabinet.

Kevin: Plus, Brooke hacks last night's Mac and cheese

into today's casserole.

I'm gonna put this casserole in my casser-hole.

Kevin: It's all happening when the "hack" comes back.

Kevin: It's the "hack lifetime achievement awards".

Tonight, we recognize an item that's demonstrated

continued excellence

in the pursuit of hacking --

the plastic straw.

[ Cheers and applause ]

The straw first melted hearts -- and its own ends --

to make transporting spices easier.

And who can forget when the straw plunged

into the role of a better butter distribution system for popcorn?

Be sure to keep an eye out for the straw

in its many upcoming roles,

like propping up stems for these wilting flowers.

And, in its finest performance yet,

the straw disappears into a bottle of ketchup

to get that red sauce flowing again.

When it comes to hacking, the plastic straw never sucks,

even though that's what it's designed to do.

Congratulations on your lifetime achievement award.

So, you've decided to go paperless.

Congratulations, welcome to 2007.

So, what are you gonna do with this giant hunk of metal?

You could throw it out, or you could turn it

into a meat smoker.

That is, if you're a hack-master.

Hey, everyone, this is Burt.

He's the brisket king of Los Angeles.

The mastermind behind Trudy's underground barbecue,

which -- if I may -- has some of the finest meats in the city.

So, Burt, what the hell's a meat smoker?

Well, it is any kind of a container

that will contain heat and smoke

that you can cook your food in.

Like, I can make one potentially out of a garbage

can or a coffin,

as long as it's an enclosed space

where that heat can circulate? That's it?

Yeah. That's all you really need.

Okay, we have a filing cabinet, I believe we have some meats,

but how are we gonna make this thing happen?

I'm gonna grab a drill, and let's make a few holes.

Okay.

So, these holes will allow for some air to circulate.

Perfect.

Is there such a thing as too many holes?

You don't want too much.

You know, because too much air can get the temperature too hot.

Wait, so this empty drawer here...

-Yeah. -...How --

we're just gonna slap some chicken in there?

No.

So, for that, I get a couple of 1-by-3 pieces of wood.

This rack -- very easy to get at any hardware store.

And then the rack goes right on top.

It gets airflow all around it.

It'll work out very well.

We drilled some holes.

We made some shelves that will help with the air.

How do we get heat into this bad boy?

I got some of this lump coal.

Just right in there?

Yeah, right in there.

I got some wood chips.

And, just like that, we'll start burning it off.

Okay, so, now we've got smoke, we've got that heat

and that air circulating, what are we missing?

We're missing...

The meat itself. -That is correct.

That is absolutely correct.

And that's it, and it's set.

Amazing how simple it is.

So, now what?

We set a timer for 10, 15 minutes?

Not quite.

It's gonna take like 10 to 20 hours.

[ Bleep ]

Dude, don't worry. I already got one going.

-Oh. -I started this yesterday.

Yeah, don't worry, man.

No peripheral vision since the accident, so that's --

I should've noticed this.

No, come on. Grab that tray for me.

You got it.

-Man, look at this. -Ooh.

Amazing.

Look at the color you got from this wood.

Look at this chicken. -Mmm!

Look at this rib, man.

Some brisket. Yeah, look at that, man.

Amazing. Oh, my word.

Fresh from the filing cabinet.

Burt, all this meat looks great, but the real question is --

how does it taste?

Yeah.

♪♪

Not bad.

Way better than "not bad", sir.

I would say "well done" but it's actually

kind of medium-well-done. -[ Laughs ]

You, sir, are a hack-master.

Thank you. -You got it.

Burt, I'm not seeing you cutting, so if you could -- ah!

Let's do it, let's do it. -No, it's cool.

I mean, take a break, but let's get back to it,

'cause daddy's hungry.

Mmm!

♪♪

♪♪

He's cute, he's cuddly, he's barely housebroken.

And while your girlfriend can't stay mad at this face,

you're the one who's dog-sitting

while she's away for the weekend.

To protect yourself, you'll need a "hack line of defense"

against your partner's dog. [ Bark ]

Though he's a golden retriever,

this doggo has an appetite for destruction

that would put a wooly mammoth to shame.

Save your sneakers by hacking a chew toy

out of an empty water bottle and an old sock.

Just put the bottle inside the sock, knot it,

and let fido chow down.

Speaking of chow, the way to a pup's heart

is through his stomach.

Of course, this puppy PDA would be nicer

if he didn't have disgusting dog-food breath.

Hack that halitosis away by giving your dog

an after-dinner snack of baby carrots.

Their texture will remove plaque deposits from your dog's teeth

and leave his breath smelling fresh...Er.

A nice walk would probably help you two bond.

But this stubborn canine won't budge, and with good reason.

The sweltering summer pavement has his paws all hot

and bothered.

Save his sensitive feet by hacking protective booties

out of balloons and baby socks.

Just cut the bottom off the balloon,

slip the baby sock over his foot,

and then stretch the latex over that.

Way to put your best paw forward.

After that walk, the two of you are starting to get closer.

Help cujo get comfy by hacking a pillow out of old jeans.

First, knot the end of each leg.

Next, stuff those trousers with pillows and old t-shirts.

Looks like you finally tamed that savage beast.

Now you and your new best friend can rest easy

because you've got a "hack line of defense".

Coming up, Brooke turns leftovers into a casserole

that will rock your world.

Look at you, you casserole master.

Kevin: It's all happening on the thrilling climax

of "hack my life".

Narrator: On the rousing finale of "hacks del corazón"...

I returned for my briefcase, but instead,

I discovered a case of betrayal.

No, señor.

I am not thinking straight.

The fumes from the paint are making meloco.

Yes, the paint ismucho

si.

Something does e-stink in here.

Ooh.

That is why I'm adding a splash of vanilla extract

into this paint can.

That will mask the noxious fumes

without affecting the consistency of the paint.

[ Sniffing ] Wow.

It smells wonderful in here.

Si, feeling wonderful as well.

Oh? Because vanilla is a natural aphrodisiac.

Oh?

Déjà vu por tu?

♪♪

Narrator: "Hacks del corazón".

♪♪

♪♪

I'm a midwestern girl and casserole

is the food of my people.

But who has the time to make one from scratch?

I have a hack today to make a casserole in under 10 minutes

using leftover macaroni and cheese.

It's the return of the Mac.

You know what I'm saying?

Our first step -- we're gonna chop broccoli.

Throw them into a mixing bowl, take a plate,

put it over the bowl, and here's our first time-saving hack.

I'm gonna lay out strips of bacon,

and we're gonna microwave these guys together,

stacked like this. [ Microwave beeps ]

Okay, and feel free to just hold still and think thoughts.

♪♪

Ha-ha! It looks like bacon to me.

Since this broccoli has been steaming,

be careful when you take the plate off.

Mmm, smells like a hot bowl of farts.

Next, I'm gonna take the leftover macaroni and cheese,

add a layer of the broccoli, and sprinkle some bacon.

And then one more layer of cheese

because we hate ourselves.

All right, our casserole dish is prepared,

the broiler's going -- it's at 400 degrees.

And in 5 minutes, we have hacked ourselves a creamy casserole

with your leftover Mac and cheese.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna put this casserole

in my casser-hole. [ Laughter ]

This is really good.

I don't need a boyfriend.

Fries before guys.

Mac and cheese before thieves, you know what I'm saying?

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