All language subtitles for Hack My Life s03e11 Awww Craps.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately!

Announcer:This season,
emotions run high

after the sudden death
of señor solución's padre.

[ Sobbing ]

Your father was like
a father to me!

Sí.
a son to him than I was,

even though you are
just the lowly gardener.

Why do you not cry
for him?

Because it was I
who murdered him.

[ Gasps ]

Idios mío!

Señor, you must show emotion,
or people will suspect you.

I will cry
when the time comes!

All I need is this
mentholated lip balm.

Just a few dabs
under my eyes.

♪♪

Oh! Nobody will
suspect a thing.

It is the perfect crime.

Señor,
why did you do it?

For money? For jealousy?
For --

it was for the money.

I really love money.

"Hacks del corazón."

[ Giggles ]

Brooke: Tonight...

-Aah!
-Okay.

...it's your lucky day.

N-o-o!

Kevin:
We roll the dice on a hack

that could bring down
the house...

Yeah! In your face!

Find out what pickle juice
can do for your punch...

Kevin: Ohh!

...learn how to make
mother nature your bitch...

Kevin: ...And dream better
than you've ever dreamt before.

Whoa! I feel like
I'm really in Tibet!

This is "hack my life."

♪♪

Come on, snake eyes!
Oh!

Seven out.
Come on!

You know,
losing money at a casino

can really turn your night
into a royal flush.

But could a simple hack
improve your odds

of winning next time
you're at the craps table?

We're gonna find out
right now.

This is
"gaming the system."

Today, we are joined
by former craps dealer

and current casino arts
professor Patrick rubiano.

-Thanks for joining us.
-Thanks for having me.

So, Patrick,
I look down at this table

and I see, like,
there's probably a million different ways

for me to win or lose
my money.

Sure, the betting
can definitely get

a little bit complicated
in this game.

But the basic bet's
the pass line bet.

You would take two dice,

and you would throw them
all the way to the other end.

So, that one was an 8.

So once you've established
the 8 as the point,

now if you roll
another 8, you win.

But if it's a 7,
you lose.

And if you roll anything else,
you just keep rolling.

Okay. So it's --
you just don't want a 7.

-Correct.
-So how do we game the system?

Some people do believe
you can actually influence

the outcome of the dice
with a controlled throw.

One of the popular sets
is called the flying v.

You start with the two 3's
on top like this.

Got it.

And then you just throw them
down the table like that.

And what you want is
for the dice

to kind of rotate
like this,

almost as if
they're glued together.

And then, hopefully,
when they land --

-you'll avoid the 7.
-That's the theory, at least.

So, I'll roll with my
traditional Portuguese flair.

Heh-heh-heh.

Brooke: And I'll be using
the flying v hack,

which should reduce my odds
of rolling a 7.

Don't know about you guys,
but I'm feeling lucky.

This is the come-out roll.
It's the first roll.

We're establishing
a point.

-Good luck.
-Dice are out.

What are you talking about?
Here we go. Boom!

-Whoo!
-Easy.

-The point is 8.
-Ha ha! That's a good point.

Here we go. I got this.
I got this 'cause --

what? Shoryuken!

Now, that's
a street fighter.

6. Easy.

Nice. Boom!

7 out.

Come on!

[ Buzzer sounds ]

-That was terrible.
-Yeah, yeah.

Kevin: Only two rolls before
hitting a 7. That's not good.

I think it's time
to maybe employ the hack,

see if our odds
get any better.

-Like this?
-Yep.

Ah. V formation.

Okay.

-4 easy.
-Okay.

So, the point is to win
by landing on 4,

and I'm not gonna get a 7.

Kind of toss it like
you're feeding chicken.

-Oh, I fed a chicken.
-All right.

Here's the hack.
Keeping the guys together.

All right.

-Whoa.
-5.

Okay, so I get
to roll again.

Mama's got this.

Ah, it's a 7.

Nine.
Center field 9.

-Okay. Still in it.
-Beginner's luck.

-7.
-10. Easy.

Brooke: All right.

♪♪

Hot dog! With mustard.

5. No field 5.

-Brooke's cheating, right?
-No!

Patrick, let's just --
she's cheating.

I wouldn't even
know how to cheat.

8 easy.

Yeah!

Winner. 4.

Yeah! Oh!
In your face!

Kevin pereira,
you Portuguese monster.

♪♪

This flying v hack
totally works.

As far I'm concerned,
I gamed the system.

Yeah, I mean,
you did that time.

Somebody who's
rolling randomly

could have achieved
similar results.

I'm still, personally,
a non-believer, though.

[Bleep] That.
I'm going back tomorrow.

[ Laughs ]

Yeah!

♪♪

[ Ting! ]

Kevin: Sometimes,
even extraordinary couples

face ordinary problems.

Couples like Helen and Humphrey,

two hack heroes who've just
started a family together.

It's their first weekend
apart from baby,

so they've decided to take
a romantic camping trip.

It won't be easy, but these
two can definitely hack it

because they are...

The hacktastics!

If these two are
going to have any shot

at re-igniting the flame,
they'll need a campfire.

Whoa!

But lugging logs
to the fire pit

is seriously grueling work.

Thankfully, Helen comes
to the rescue with trousers.

By tying the legs of her pants

to the belt loops
with shoelaces,

Helen hacks a makeshift backpack
that can be loaded with wood.

Now, that's hacking
by the seat of your pants.

[ Ding! ]

Ah!

Ouch! Looks like
Helen's got a splinter.

So Humphrey quickly harnesses
the healing superpower of nature

with a dab of pine sap.

The sticky pitch adheres

to the splinter
and dries it out,

allowing it to be
removed painlessly.

[ Pop! ]

Where there's smoke,
there's fire,

but only if you have
sufficient kindling.

Thankfully, Helen Springs
into action with hand sanitizer.

Due to its high alcohol content,

all they need is a single match
to get a roaring fire.

Now, that's what I call
clean energy.

Our heroic duo is truly enjoying

their first night away
from baby,

and neither wants to let
the embers die,

literally or metaphorically.

So Humphrey summons
his trusty pocketknife

to cut the bottom off
of two empty water bottles.

Then, by sliding a capped bottle
into an uncapped one,

he hacks a set of bellows

that breathes new life
into the glowing coals.

Looks like our heroes'
first trip without junior

was a success.

Maybe next time they'll venture
a bit further away from home.

Until then, they remain
the hacktastics!

[ Zip! ]

Brooke:
Wake up, people!

Up next, we test your hacks
for silencing the snore.

-Aah!
-Okay, nope.

Kevin:
Plus, see if your deodorant

passes the "hack my life"
sniff test...

-Get in there.
-...When the "hack" returns.

Announcer:On a death-defying
"hacks del corazón"...

He wasmy

the money belongs to me.

Ugh! Lies!

The day before he died,

he rewrote his will

so the money
would go tome!

This can't be.
The will is in that drawer.

Ha!

♪♪

The drawer is stuck!

Must have swollen shut
in all this humidity!

I've heard enough.

Oh, no!

Isí!

This hair dryer
will evaporate

the moisture
the wood has absorbed

and shrink it
to its normal size.

[ Dryer blows ]

♪♪

[ Gasps ]
My goodness!

It worked.

What does the will say?

"I leave my entire fortune
to my favorite son."

Ah!

The gardener?!

[ Gasps ] N-o-o!

N-o-o!

Some drawers
are better left closed

on "hacks del corazón."

[ Snoring ]

♪♪

[ Muffled shouts ]

Die!

This is "hack mail."

Today, we're gonna test
three viewer-submitted hacks

that should help you
get a good night's sleep

when you're stuck
next to a snorer.

Whichever method blocks out
sound the best wins our...

Both:
...Hack seal of approval!

Hack number one
comes from Nelson

in glendale, California.

So I'm going to
beef these up

with a little bit
of modeling Clay.

I'm just gonna take a handful
like this and just...

♪♪

Nope. Let's do less.

Are you just playing
around with that dough?

Okay, this is
a little more soundproof.

How does it look?

I mean,
it looks like a choice.

All right, I'll give you
a little snore.

You let me know
if you hear it, okay?

-Okay.
-Great.

[ Snoring ]

[ Sighs ]

I can hear everything.
I can hear --

look, the earplugs
are pushing out of my ears.

You've got some dough
on you.

So much better
when you eat it.

Hack number two
comes to us

from Alison
in Eden prairie, Minnesota.

Go on.

All right, so, let's go ahead
and secure this to my head.

Okay.

Uh-huh.
There we go.

Right away
feeling very snug.

You look like you're enjoying
some virtual reality.

Whoa! I feel like
I'm really in Tibet!

Well, what if you
flip it around?

There we go.

Nice and graceful.

Let's try it.
Yeah.

I actually don't snore,

but you know about
my night terrors, right?

Okay, well,
let's try that.

-Aah!
-Okay, nope. Heard it.

-Okay.
-Heard it.

Our final hack comes from
deloris in Portland, Oregon.

"This hack has saved
my marriage."

Oh.

Separate rooms
for my parents.

-Oh!
-So let's fire it up.

[Static plays

oh, there we go.
There we go.

You can blast white noise
unbelievably loud,

and in just a few minutes,

your brain will start
filtering it out.

-What?
-See?

Now the snore test.

[ Snoring ]

Pbht!

That actually did a pretty
good job drowning you out.

You don't necessarily have to
rest the machine on your person.

-Oh, I had to. I had to. Yeah.
-Okay, okay.

I mean, listen, I could,
yes, still hear you snoring,

but my very repetitive,
violent thoughts

of wanting to kill you
in your sleep

kind of got carried away
by the white noise.

And I didn't think
about killing you.

Well, thank you,
clock radio.

So let's make it official
for Ms. Deloris

and her white-noise
alarm-clock hack.

I think you get our...

Both:
...Hack seal of approval!

If you want to be like
our friend deloris,

go to trutv.Com/hacks

and submit your hack today.

Want to, uh,
do some cuddling?

[Static plays
maybe big spoon, little --

take me away.

♪♪

Kevin:
So, you're out for a stroll,

and you're wearing
your favorite big-boy pants.

And suddenly, boom,
off comes a button,

and things are wide open
like a barn door in a hurricane.

So what do you do?

Well, you put
hidden cameras everywhere,

and you see if strangers
on the streets of New York

will lend you a hack.

Can someone
lend me a hack?!

Sir, do you have
anything to fix...?

I lost a button.
No? Okay.

Miss, do you have anything
that could fix a pair of pants?

Sir, do you have anything
that could fix a button?

-Uh...
-On a pair of pants?

I've got
these plastic bags?

[ Fanfare plays ]

Here, maybe you can, like,
scrunchie this one or something.

Okay.
Maybe it's something to hold, like a handle.

I just need it to last
for like 10, 15 minutes.

Right, yeah. Yeah.
You think this...

You see, this brings me back.
I think it looks great.

This is like elementary
school karate class.

Yeah, yeah.
No one's gonna mess with me now.

Thank you very much.
Whatever, yeah. Have a good day.

Is it technically holding
my pants up? Yeah.

[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]

All right, let's see
what else we've got.

Got some pants coming off,
people. Not by choice.

Do you guys have
a fix for a button?

Like anything I could use
to hold some pants up? No?

I think I could
get arrested for this.

Sir? Yes.
Sorry to bother.

Do you have anything
on you in that bag

that I could use
for these?

Yeah, I don't --

oh! Boom.

[ Laughs ]
Stapler!

[ Fanfare plays ]

Man, um...

Just keep it --
you ready?

Oh! Buy me dinner!

That's one.
Uh...

Yo!
Facebook official!

-There you go.
-Gentle touch!

-One more, one more. Ah.
-Mazel tov.

I don't know if this is
gonna work in the long run,

but in the short term --
it gets you home.

Thank you.
All right.

Whoo! This is terrible.

I mean, it works. The pants
are technically together.

But now there's a million holes
in them, and there's not --

oh, now they're --
okay, and there we go.

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Miss, miss? Excuse me.
Ma'am, sorry to bother.

I popped a button.
Oh.

Do you have anything I can use
to secure pants?

Um, I can probably
use this.

Oh, a twisty tie.

[ Fanfare plays ]

Yeah, if we just kind of loop
it, like, through the hole.

If I stick that
through there...

Quite the role reversal for me,
but I appreciate it.

Oh, don't worry.
Girls can take off pants, too.

Yeah, no,
I feel empowered.

Hold on. Wait a minute.
What do you think?

Not too bad.
Still a little hangy,

but, I mean,
your shirt covers it.

They're not falling
right off, yeah.

[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]

-Don't break any more pants.
-I won't.

-Thank you.
-Bye.

What a sweetheart.

Hey, look at that.
A bread twisty tie in a pinch.

It's a hack. I'm not crazy.
There's a camera there. I swear.

I swear.

Coming up, see if Brooke
can breathe new life

into her right hook.

[ Both grunting ]

Brooke: And we rub Mayo
in all the wrong places.

Sick!

Kevin:
When "hack my life" returns.

Announcer:On a mind-shattering
"hacks del corazón"...

"I, señor solución's father,
señor solución sr.,

do hereby leave all my money
to my secret son,

the lonely gardener"?!

[ Gasps ]
It can't be!

Oh.

[ Gasps ]

It be.

Father!
But I murdered you!

You tried to kill me,
but you failed.

Be careful, sir.

There is broken glass
everywhere.

Does not concern me.
I have these slices of bread.

Once I have picked up
the larger shards of glass,

I can use this bread
to dab up

the tiny invisible pieces.

Watch.

♪♪

Idios mío!
It worked!

I'm sorry, father,
for murdering you.

And I'm sorry, my son,

for not telling you
you had a brother.

And I am sorry, too.

-For what?
-Breaking the glass, I guess.

It seemed like
it was very expensive.

[ Laughter ]

I am very poor.

[ Laughter ]

All's well that ends well
on "hacks del corazón."

Here on "hack my life,"
we're lovers, not fighters.

But knowing how to throw a punch
can really come in handy.

-Like now.
-Okay, yep.

-Yes.
-Sucker punch.

Today, we're testing hacks
to increase your punching power.

This is a hacksperiment.

And today, we'll be
assisted by everyone's

favorite arcade game,
power punch,

which measures
the pounds of force

behind every punch
you throw.

So before we begin,
we need to establish

your baseline strength,
you know, how hard you punch

without any hacks
in your system.

Let's see what I got.

Okay.

That was good.
Little step into it.

We wait for the result.
Ohh!

Almost to
the 2-hundo territory.

Oh, all right.
It says I'm anemic.

Ready to meet your first hack?
Shot of pickle juice, Brooke.

Okay, why?
That's what it is.

We have vinegar,
and we got sodium.

It's gonna give you
a little jolt.

This is good
for your metabolism,

so it'll speed you up --
a little pep.

Oh, god!

Cheers.

♪♪

[ Laughs ] Oh!
Okay.

I feel like -- oh.

Okay, that is
a whopping 0% increase

from your control punch.

Brooke, you ever felt,
I don't know, anger?

Come on,
you [bleep] losers.

Eat a [bleep]
[Bleep] hole!

Just explode!

Yeah.

Good.
'Cause for your next hack,

we're gonna take that
and channel it.

There have been studies that
show that when you're angry,

your physical performance
can go through the roof.

So what really
angers you?

I hate the airport.
I hate the lines.

I hate that they can
never get my luggage up.

Tsa.
Visualize that.

Here's the tsa. Yeah.

Oh, those [bleep] are like,
"separate bin for your laptop."

Bull [bleep]
that they make you do.

Oh! Yes!

Don't take out your laptop.
Take out your rage.

Ooh, mama! Huh?!

Somebody's traveling
tomorrow.

That is an
18% improvement.

-That is impressive and scary.
-Thank you.

Our third and final hack,

which I believe will make you
punch even harder, Brooke.

It's very simple.
It's called the "hyah!"

Hyah!
Yeah. The same way a tennis player,

when they're about to swing,
when they get that hyah.

It's that breath technique.
There have been studies

that have shown that using
proper breathing technique

can improve your power
by up to 7%.

-Ooh. Hyah.
-Hyah.

-Hyah. Hyah.
-Hyah.

-Yeah, see?
-Ah, I felt it there.

-Hyah. Hyah.
-Hyah.

Just -- hyah!

Ohh! Okay.

That felt like some.

Okay, and...?

The tsa really
pisses me off.

Yeah, I can tell.

-I got to say.
-I can tell.

And I think that's a healthy way
to deal with anger, punching.

Sure you would. No!

Okay. Just come on.
I'm stronger now. I get it.

I'm visualizing how much
I want to punchyou.

Ah.

Worried your cold drinks
will leave a Mark?

Don't sweat it.
This is pop quiz.

[Crowd cheering
yeah!

Hey, buddy,
where's your coaster?

Miranda's gonna kill me

when she finds out
I didn't use a coaster.

Luckily, there's a hack nearby
that can save that table.

Let's see if you can guess
what it is in today's pop quiz!

Sick!

Brooke: Okay, to get that
water ring out of your wood,

do you think you should use...

A -- sandpaper?

B -- mayonnaise?

Or c -- a hair dryer?

You know what?
Go big or go home.

Mayonnaise.
Final answer. Boom!

[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
Home run, bro.

-That's the right answer.
-Sick!

Brooke: Just scoop a dollop
of Mayo onto the ring stain

and rub it into the wood
with a soft cloth.

The vegetable oil in the Mayo
should seep into the wood

and bring it back
to its natural color.

Wow.
It actually worked.

Thanks, pop quiz lady.
You saved my marriage.

Never gonna make
that mistake aga--

son of a --

ugh. Good luck, buddy.
You're clearly gonna need it.

-Up next...
-We got some pits to sniff!

Come on!
Spot the hack!

...we show you how to smell
like roses for dirt cheap.

Not bad at all.
And I know b.O.

Kevin:
When the "hack" comes back.

♪♪

[ Grunting ]

You know, when it comes
to working out,

they always say,
"no pain, no gain,"

but what they don't tell you...
[ Sniffs ] Ooh.

...is that you're probably
gonna get pretty stinky.

But don't sweat it, america.

We've got some hacks that just
might cure your body-odor blues

in this "spot the hack."

Today, I'm joined
by Stephanie and Emily.

They're two
workout buddies.

Have you ever been
called out

because you forgot
some deodorant

-or you were especially ripe?
-All the time.

It's happened.
We both get the nice,

like,
over-the-lip sweat.

-Yeah. Just beads.
-The in-between-the-boobs sweat.

Well, today,
everybody's in luck

because we are hacking
a completely homemade

deodorant alternative
with stuff

that you can find probably
lying around your pantry.

2 tablespoons
of baking soda,

6 tablespoons
of corn starch,

3 tablespoons
of coconut oil,

and 10 drops
of lavender.

Were you counting...?

Stop!

Take an empty
deodorant dispenser.

You fill this bad boy up,
then you can throw it

in the freezer,
and leave it there

for 10, 15 minutes.
It'll harden, and you're done.

So one of you is gonna use
the store-bought deodorant.

The other's going to use
the hack deodorant.

We're gonna see if people
can spot the hack.

But first,
we got to get funky.

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

Who wants to take a sniffy?
We got some pits to sniff.

Come on! Spot the hack!

-Hello.
-Hi.

You guys want to sniff
some strangers?

It's for science.
And basic cable.

-Yeah! Hi!
-Hello.

This is
Stephanie and Emily.

We have put different
deodorants on them.

One of them is
a store-bought deodorant.

The other is something
that we hacked together

with items from a pantry.

Okay.
Yeah, sure.

I can't believe
you're game for this.

We'll start with a.

Do you want to lean on in
and take a sniff?

-Get in there.
-Really explore.

♪♪

-Go ahead. Don't be shy.
-That's right.

-What are you getting?
-Um, nature-y.

-Very fresh.
-Forest-y.

It smells
pretty natural.

No, it doesn't smell
like a chemical odor.

It's not bad at all.
No b.O., and I know b.O.

Great comments for deodorant a.
Let's try deodorant b.

-Oh.
-Okay.

Get in there. Yeah.

Kevin: What do you think
about deodorant b?

-This one is less floral.
-More chemical-y.

I still get, like,
this outdoorsy smell,

but it definitely smells
more strong to me.

Yeah!
Definitely stronger.

It smells like b.O.
There's no way around that.

It's funky.

I'm sorry.

So now the million-dollar
question --

can you spot the hack?

-B.
-I'm gonna with her.

I'm gonna say
b is the hack.

I think
a is the hack.

I think deodorant b
is the hack.

I think the hack
deodorant is b.

I think
the hack deodorant's b

because it's just
not cutting it.

Are you ready to know
the truth? Yes.

Our hack is...

♪♪

Deodorant a was our hack!

[ Cheers and applause ]

We were bamboozled!

It's lavender,
a little coconut oil,

some corn starch,
and some baking soda.

I actually
liked a better.

Want to explore it again?
You can hop on in there.

-It is nice.
-Come on down.

Kevin: Sometimes,
a household item is so useful,

it ascends into the pantheon
of great hacking tools.

Today, we celebrate one that's
truly become a hack all star.

The koozie.

Shaving cream causing
rust rings in your shower?

Say adios to oxidation
by storing your can in a koozie.

All star.

Here's a bright idea.

Instead of leaving
your spare light bulbs

exposed to the elements,
keep them safely ensconced

in a koozie's soft foam arms.

All star.
Mmm!

Moving furniture?

Well, koozies can help.

Slip one over each leg
of your table

to create friction-free
moving pads

that won't rip up your rugs.

All star.

Your Rembrandt looked
more like a Picasso

because of hand smudges?

Koozie's got you covered.

Lop off the bottom

and cut a hole in the side
for your thumb.

Then just slip it
over your hand,

and you just hacked yourself
a smudge guard.

Looking good,
hackson pollock.

All star.

Oh, but you're not done yet
because it's time

to share your work
with the world.

Roll up your canvas and stick
a koozie at both ends

to make a cheap
protective carrier

for your masterpiece.

Now, that's a museum-grade hack.

All star.

Congratulations, koozie.

For all you do,
we should bebuying

instead of sticking them
inside you.

You truly are a hack all star.

[ Ting! ]

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0