Original subtitles

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks make it worse,

stop what you're doing immediately!

Narrator: On a steamy "hacks del corazón",

tengo solución is having trouble rising to the occasion.

[ Sighs ]

Are you no longer in love with me?

Never, my precious sugarplum.

But there are other ways to get me ready to go.

Oh, tell me, lover.

For centuries, saffron has been used

as a natural aphrodisiac.

Just mix it with massage oil,

and pour it all over my naked, sexy body.

Ooh!

[ Boing! ]

-Gardener! -[ Gasps ]

What are you doing here?

Señorita, I thought you were in love with me.

Huh?

I am in love... With the both of you.

Well, there's only one way to solve this.

[ Gasps ]

Give señorita the space and time

she needs to sort out what her heart wants?

Exactamundo.

Narrator: Love takes time, on "hacks del corazón".

Brooke: Tonight on "hack my life"...

That's disgusting.

Ready, set, rub.

Three sunbathers attempt to screen up

without a helping hand.

Oh, no! She's making a mess.

Kevin: Plus, hacks to put a spark back in your marriage.

[ Growl! ]

Brooke: Hacks to cool things down in the bedroom.

How much fun is this to play with?

I like this one.

Kevin: And a trick to help you game the evil arcade system.

This seems less like a hack and more like a felony.

Brooke: Get your game face on, hackers.

This is "hack my life".

I'm gonna call that good enough.

That's the motto of this show.

When it comes to protecting your skin,

there is nothing more important

than some good old-fashioned sunscreen.

Hey, do you guys mind helping with my back?

So, what do you do when you're all alone

and you can't find a kind stranger

who will help you with your back?!

We're gonna find out right now,

on this hack vs. Hack.

Welcome, everyone,

to the first-ever "hack my life" rubathon!

-Whoo! -Thank you.

Today, I'm joined by Emily, Alex, and Cornelia.

They're all swimmers, and they all suffer

from suntan-lotion- related issues.

What's your preferred method of application?

Oh, I genuinely will go arms and then legs.

Usually I get someone to do my back.

See, that's the problem. Arms, fine, legs, fine.

The moment you get back there, what do you do?

That's when it gets difficult.

Well, I happen to have three possible hacks.

Curious to find out what they are?

-Yes. -Here we go.

Kevin: Our first hack is plastic wrap.

Take a generous piece,

squirt a nice sizeable load on it,

and then give yourself one of those back shimmies.

Hack number two is a paint roller.

Pretty self-explanatory, your back becomes the canvas.

Hack number three, you're going to want

to do a yoga pose called cowface.

So you want to put some sunscreen

on the back of your hand,

get it nice and covered, flip around,

get it everywhere you need,

and avoid any awkward encounters with strangers.

What are you guys thinking? -I want the paint roller.

I think it's a time-tested application method.

-I want the yoga pose. -Oh, seriously?

[ Laughter ]

What, Emily, you're not super stoked

to use some plastic wrap?

I think it's gonna be a challenge.

All right, contestants,

we're gonna use mustard-yellow sunscreen,

so it should be pretty noticeable,

and whoever covers the most will be declared the winner.

You guys ready to go? -Yes.

Three, two, rub.

Ha ha. Hack!

Emily's making a pizza.

Cornelia already with the sunscreen

on the back of the hand.

There's a lot of sunscreen flying around.

Guys, we're at 25 seconds.

Oh, no, she's making a mess.

How's that roller working, Alex?

Feeling like you're not missing any areas at all?

-Oh, no. -Cornelia, how's that

back of the hand hack working?

Feels good.

I think yoga prepared me for this.

10 seconds left.

Cornelia gets some more on the back of her hand.

All right, I think I'm pretty much done.

Oh, Cornelia's gonna call it quits.

I'm going for even coverage here, all right?

Final coats!

3, 2, 1, that is it!

Hacks down!

Emily, let's take a look at that back.

I'm seeing some skin peeking through.

If you don't mind I'm gonna do this,

and I'm gonna show you there's no paint on my finger.

You definitely missed some spots,

and you made an absolute mess in the process.

Yeah, there's sunscreen everywhere.

Yeah, yeah.

Alex, do you want to show Cornelia

and Emily, let them take a peek?

What do you guys think? -Oh.

-Really? -That's unmarked territory.

-You're serious? -Are you surprised to see

that there's some exposed sections?

-Absolutely. -Cornelia, you seemed

to have it done the quickest.

Emily, Alex, what do you think?

I mean, she had the --

Emily: Couple spots, couple spots there are missing.

Don't be a hater.

Kevin: Three great hacks. Three great backs.

But there can be only one winner.

Cornelia, congratulations!

Three great competitors,

three surprisingly great hacks,

but the answer is pretty clear.

If you need to cover every square inch of yourself,

reach no further than the back of your own hand.

Who wants to grease me up?

Emily, you're walking away.

Cornelia?

Hey.

[ Crash! ]

Burritos -- breakfast of champions.

Ugh. Until you go to take a bite,

and it falls apart faster than my first marriage.

Luckily, I've got a hack today

that will help keep your burrito together.

So, come on, egghead. Let's roll.

The key to hacking a perfect breakfast burrito

is cooking your ingredients together,

so they'll actually stick together.

I'm just going to go ahead and take my scrambled eggs

and pour them into the pan,

and cook for about 30 seconds,

maybe a minute tops, before you add

your other two ingredients.

So, I will add my tomato and distribute cheese

just so it's covering the whole enchilada.

It's a breakfast burrito. I know the difference.

And now I'm going to take

the real show pony here, a giant tortilla,

and place it right on top of this big, delicious mess.

Normally, you have to steam the tortilla in another pan.

Not with this hack.

We're cutting out the middle pan, know what I'm saying?

Now, I'm going to take a very generous portion of tin foil.

I'm going to lay it right over the pan.

In a magic move, I'm gonna do a little flip.

Look at this.

Add any other ingredients you want.

I love guacamole, so I'm gonna put some right down the center,

and I'll just add a little bit of salsa.

Okay, we're ready to roll.

Just fold this into itself and do a nice roll.

And then, just take the foil, tuck in the end.

That's a nice package right there.

And to make it even easier, give it a cut right in half.

'Tis a thing of beauty.

Muy bonita. Look at this!

In the time it takes to make a cup of coffee,

you need one pan

and have a delicious, perfectly formed breakfast burrito.

De nada.

Kevin: Up next... Yeah.

...we hit the hack lab to take on night sweats.

Mind blown.

Brooke: And find out which of these steamy hacks

is 30% more likely to bring on

the big "o", when the hack comes back.

Narrator: On a very passionate episode

of "hacks del corazón"...

Ooh, señor, our lovemaking was intense.

Sí, that is my preferred style of lovemaking.

I think too intense, señor.

My traps are very sore.

Fear not, little lamb.

I will relax the tension in your muscles.

Ooh!

By putting two tennis balls

into this sock,

now I have made a homemade massager,

that I will rub on your neck

and back until your pain is no más.

Wow!

And now I must tell you... I'm pregnant.

Finally! A child to call my own!

-No. -The gardener?

Again? -That baby is mine.

But how?

I made love to the gardener.

That is where babies come from.

Narrator: Will tengo solución ever figure out

how to hack a broken heart?

Find out on the next "hacks del corazón".

Okay, so maybe it's 98% outside and the ac's busted.

Or, maybe the person you sleep next to throws off more heat

than a blast furnace at a steel mill.

Oh, your elbow's touching my elbow.

Well, don't sweat it. We've got some hacks

to keep you cool in today's hack mail.

Brooke and I have been tossing and turning in these sheets

to make them unpleasantly warm.

Whichever hack works best to cool it or us down

will receive our coveted...

Both: ...Hack seal of approval.

Hack number one --

it comes to us from Ben in mobile, Alabama.

He writes...

I'm gonna stuff the pillow inside the t-shirt.

Yeah, treat it like a pillowcase.

Also, makeshift boyfriend. His name is Phillip.

-Oh, hi, Phillip. -Yep.

Have you met Theresa?

-Hi, Theresa. -You guys like brunch?

We love brunch, babe, we love to have waffles.

Babe says that we would role-play it.

Hmm.

If you're a side sleeper, not very comfortable.

Back of the head, I feel a slight difference.

It's a little crinkly.

Okay, within seconds, the graphic on the graphic tee

adjusted to body temperature.

The back of my head is on fire.

So, hack number one, interesting...

Interesting, we'll put a pin in it.

Let's move on to hack number two.

Our second hack comes from aiesha in champagne, Illinois.

She writes...

Yeah.

"The mint keeps me cool,

and I throw on some socks to keep the sheets clean."

Sounds warm and unsexy.

But I'm game to try it on your feet, Brooke.

So, go for it!

All right, so we start with the lotion.

A little bit of lotion. Peppermint oil.

How many drops are you thinking?

Oh, three, why not. We're good, we're good.

It's gonna start burning. Yikes!

So, it feels cool.

Good god. -That's disgusting.

I can smell that right away. I can smell the peppermint.

It is there.

Now I understand the reasoning for the socks,

because this looks like a cyst was just scalpeled off.

I get where aiesha's coming from with the sock,

but we're trying to cool down

so I'm just gonna take the lotion

and peppermint and ride it out.

Okay. How do you feel?

It is cool. It's refreshing.

I feel like, why not go the extra mile

and just douse yourself head to toe in this mixture?

Just slip around in your bed just like a creepy eel.

Hack explored.

Let's move on to our third and final hack.

Claire writes...

Yeah.

All right, here's a top sheet.

Yeah, so let's just take the bottom of the top sheet,

throw it over the fan and then...

Oh, you know what?

I always keep some tape back here.

Oh!

You keep that behind your pillow, huh?

-Yeah. -You're such a romantic.

Don't want to have to interrupt the moment

to go searching for it.

And we'll go ahead and tape this to the fan.

I'm gonna call that good enough.

That's the motto of this show.

Hey! -You got room for two?

Yeah, bud.

Oh!

Oh, my god!

Honestly, like, my feet are freezing right now.

And as long as your feet are cold,

the rest of your body's gonna cool down.

Mind blown.

I mean, it took seconds to set up.

It's adjustable with how cool you want it to be.

And look at this sweet billow.

How much fun is this to play with?

I mean, I like this one.

Yeah, this one is the clear winner by far.

Claire, your box fan wind tunnel wins our...

Both: ...Hack seal of approval.

Hey, if you've got hacks you want us to try on this show,

it's very simple. Go to trutv.Com/hacks,

send them our way, and maybe we'll try them out.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

-She stays. -Okay.

Narrator: Sometimes, even extraordinary couples

face ordinary problems.

Couples like Helen and Humphrey,

two hack heroes who decided to spend

the rest of their lives hacking together.

But after five years of marriage,

Helen and Humphrey's sex life is a little less than super.

To rekindle that newlywed spark,

they'll call upon their powers of hackery,

because they are...

Helen's in the mood for some afternoon delight,

and she knows just the hack to get things started -- coffee.

According to a study, female lab rats

that had caffeine right before mating

were more likely to want to do it again.

And again.

[ Growl! ]

Uh-oh, looks like Humphrey's settling in in front of the TV.

But not on this over-catenated hacker's watch.

Helen's got plans for a scary movie instead.

She knows that frights flood the bloodstream with adrenaline

and the brain with dopamine --

the same chemicals that are released during sex.

Next stop -- the boudoir.

To really get things going,

Helen ditches the robe and grabs wool socks.

That's because toasty toes mean big o's.

And warm feet increase

the likelihood of orgasm by 30%.

Over on the bed, Humphrey is getting ready

to go by sucking face with some watermelon.

The fleshy pink fruit contains loads of citrulline,

an amino acid that improves blood flow to you-know-what.

[ Boing! ]

Yeah, we know what.

With their senses aroused, it's time to get hot and hacky.

By moving the action from the bed to the floor,

Humphrey breaks with routine

and stimulates the brain's novelty center,

among other parts.

Here's to you, Helen and Humphrey.

The couple that hacks together stays together.

We'll see you next time on...

Brooke: Arcade-goers beware.

This is great for the shoulders, bad for everything else.

We show you how to win big and game the game.

Oh! Ha ha!

When the hack returns.

You may have betrayed me many times,

but still, I must congratulate you

on the birth of your son.

Have a cigar with me.

Thank you, señor.

What is happening here?

We have made amends,

and are now enjoying fine cigars.

But now my home will smell like fine cigar smoke.

I swear, I will make this smell vamanos at once

by filling this saucepan with white vinegar

and heating to a low simmer on the stove.

And the odors will disappear.

Now our child will be raised in a neutral-smelling home.

Speaking of which, where is the child?

With his real papá!

-Father! -Señor solución senior!

Gentlemen, meet your nuevo hermano.

All across america, there is one arcade game

that has claimed more quarters than any other machine.

The dreaded claw game.

Today, we fight to claim the prizes

that are rightfully ours.

This is gaming the system.

Winning at arcade games like the claw...

It's not that it's impossible,

it's just that the odds are really stacked against you.

-I've never won, have you? -Occasionally.

But there are a few things that you can be aware of

that might increase your odds

if the machine isn't completely rigged against you.

First hack -- the knock method.

This comes in handy when you've got a claw

with a weak grip.

Instead of trying to grab the prize itself,

you just use the claw like a wrecking ball

to knock it into the hole.

Right now, it's looking like rat

'cause he's the closest to the chute.

-Yeah. -Stuffed rats are cute.

Hi, buddy.

Here we go.

You can maybe go back just a hair more,

maybe, yeah.

Forward more.

Little bit more, little bit more.

-All right. -Okay, let's see.

Here comes that knock.

Ooh! Ahh.

Hey, you know what, Brooke?

That reminds me of our second hack.

It's not hulking out, it's not 'roid rage,

it's the tilt.

Tilting the machine isn't about moving the prizes.

It's actually about getting more slack on the line.

If you want to get something deep down,

you go for the tilt.

And how safe is it?

Not really safe at all. I don't advise it. Great.

There should be a giant disclaimer on the screen. Great.

Here comes the tilt.

All right, I'm gonna load the money.

I used to do this with cop cars after Lakers games.

How's it look over there? Should I go back a little more?

Heavy, it looks heavy, Brooke.

So, this hack should give Brooke

some extra slack on the wire as the claw goes down.

All right, now give it a little shimmy.

Little back and forth, maybe.

Okay, all right.

This seems less like a hack and more like a felony.

All right, keep it where it is.

Yep. This is great for the shoulders,

bad for everything else.

Oh, my god.

I'll just buy you a [bleep] kangaroo.

-Kev, you okay? -Terrible hack.

Hopefully this one's a little better.

It's called beating the mirror.

Kevin: So, you want to use multiple angles

instead of trusting the mirror in the back.

It's there to fool you, mess with your depth perception.

Makes the actual cage seem larger than it is.

And if you're kind of a dumb-dumb

and get distracted by your own reflection,

well, there ya go.

Let's start by choosing our target.

Brooke: Panda and rat are looking good.

Kevin: All right, I'm going with your advice.

I'm going panda.

Usually -- oh, there I am, distracted again.

What's up, handsome? Oh, not much.

Just making television. Huh?

Yep? Sorry. -Panda!

Thank you. Got it.

Brooke needs a panda.

Okay, quarter's in.

I'm gonna kind of guess my forward and back.

Okay.

Kevin: I'm not going to just trust this mirror.

I'm gonna check every angle I can.

Take a peek.

Oh, I'm actually going to go back a little bit more.

Yeah, you can even look this way.

Oh, yeah, very clear.

Back a little bit more...

Hovering over...

Oh, kev!

Come on, baby!

Oh!

Wow!

Sweet panda victory.

You wanted it, and I won it.

-Aw. -Here you go, Brooke.

Yeah, I want you to have it.

How'd you know I was lonely?

It's pretty obvious, Brooke.

Kevin: Close your laptop

and throw your smartphone down a well.

Brooke: We're bringing the Internet's craziest hackers

to your TV.

It's worldwide hacks.

Welcome to worldwide hacks,

your number-one source for crap

we can't believe exists.

This week's hack comes to us from a very hungry man

in Brooklyn, New York.

Let's all go ahead and look away together.

Spaghetti and meatballs, lady and the ramp style.

Joining us now, professional eater

and treadmill enthusiast, crazy legs Conti.

How are you, crazy legs? -I am hungry and focused.

So, crazy legs, how long have you been

a professional eater?

I have been on the major-league eating circuit

for 15 years.

When did the treadmill

become a part of your training arsenal?

Well, I take my lead

from a lot of great competitive eaters,

and years ago in Japan,

takeru kobayashi actually ate against

a Sushi-making machine.

So, I wanted to implement it in my own life.

And I thought -- I've never run on a treadmill.

I'd fall off, I'd focus on the TV,

I'd see a girl in spandex, it's gone wrong every time.

So I thought, "I want to beat that machine at my game."

So, I want to be clear.

This is a hack for competitive eaters.

Well, this is a hack

for anybody who needs to save time

in their daily routine.

What else is good at the gym?

Could I do, like, spin class and eating?

That just says to me, "donuts."

You could hang them right on the handlebars.

-Some hoagie rows? -Rowing, yeah.

-Doing some hoagie rows? -Yeah, there it is.

Always got room for dessert.

And are you spraying some lysol

and letting the conveyer go around a few times?

How clean is that belt, crazy legs?

You know, I'm not a germaphobe.

I honestly believe we live in a world where --

I feel like you're gonna tell me

that you didn't clean it, crazy legs.

The 5-second rule --

five seconds, you can eat a lot of food.

So no, that was an incredibly unclean treadmill

until after I was done eating,

because, honestly,

no one wants to jog on a cupcake skid Mark.

Crazy legs, man, you are hilarious.

I love your videos.

Thank you for taking the time

and sharing your hack with us.

Absolutely, thank you, guys.

Bye.

Brooke: Hold on to your hacks, people.

Up next, we use a bungee cord for all the wrong reasons,

when the hack Springs back.

Narrator: The hack mvp award --

a heisman for the household.

Today we salute an item

that's in the middle of every championship celebration --

the bungee cord.

Uniform pants looser than usual?

Just attach the hook to your belt loop

and run the cord in a slant route

past the shoulder and into the back field.

Boom, you just hacked yourself

a pair of suspenders with a slick crossover move.

Need to throw a monster block on your kitchen cabinets?

Watch as bungee cord Bobs and weaves

between the doorknobs to create an impenetrable defense.

This weekend warrior is making a fast break for the door

when a busted bag strap causes her to fumble.

Luckily, bungee cord is there for the recovery.

Tic tac toe, she's good to go.

Need a workout, but don't have time to hit the weight room?

Hook the ends of a bungee cord

together to make a resistance-training band.

Someone call a vet, because those pythons are sick.

Unwind and have some fun with our mvp in the backyard.

Feed two bungee cords through an old sock,

hook the ends to two stakes, and then go long.

You've just made yourself a home-made sling shot.

Ooh, just a bit outside.

Why don't you try it again?

Bull's-eye.

Congratulations, bungee.

You've struck a cord in the hearts of hackers everywhere.

And for that, we appoint you this week's hack mvp.

-Bungee! -Bungee!

Do want a third attempt at this, or no,

you want a third hack?

No, I don't. It's not gonna work for me.

It might work for someone else, not for me.

-So, you're done. -I have other skills,

they're just never featured on this show.

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