Original subtitles

[ Clears throat ]

♪ Girls on the runway, runway ♪

[ Gasps ]

What's up, guys?

I'm back with another beauty hack.

I'm gonna teach you how to hack the perfect French manicure.

All you need are reinforcement stickers!

I know what you're thinking.

What the [bleep] are reinforcement stickers?

All you're gonna do is take the sticker

and place it on your nail

so that you get the perfect rounded line,

and you're just gonna paint the tip of your nail.

Really, don't be afraid to go to town on that tip.

See?

And...

You guys, I totally nailed it with my French manicure.

I nailed it!

Tune in next week and make sure to subscribe.

[ Sighs ]

I wish there was a hack to get more subscribers.

Kevin: Tonight on "hack my life"...

Look at that!

...lock your doors!

We hack into a house

to see how strong security systems really are.

Get your sheet together!

Brooke: Plus, ditch the pooper-scooper.

We got hacks to keep fido from fertilizing the lawn.

-Oh! -Comet did not like!

Kevin: Ways to turn cold pizza into a hot breakfast.

Cheers to shortcuts.

And a shower hack so good

you'll want to share it with everyone.

There's plenty of room in here, if you want to come on in.

Make yourself at home.

Wow! Magic!

This is "hack my life."

Hacking isn't always about

fixing things with duct tape and toothpicks.

No. Sometimes, when a problem is big enough,

you have to rely on your street smarts

or a little subterfuge.

This is gaming the system.

Okay, we're not here to show you how to be a cat burglar, per se.

What we're going to attempt tonight

is to get past a security system in this house.

Kevin: Millions of Americans

protect their homes from intruders

with infrared motion detectors,

but we want to find out if these devices are worth the money.

Brooke: Our objective is to mask our body heat well enough

that we can sneak through this room

and across the tape on the other side

without tripping the infrared sensor.

For my hack, I'm thinking maybe just a classic bed sheet

can cover the heat emanating off my body

and make me invisible to the motion detector.

I'm gonna go for a similar tactic,

but I am going to use a cardboard box.

It's a little bit thicker,

and this should block my infrared signature,

unlike that sheet.

Let's find out. It's time to game the system.

♪♪

All right, hack number 1. Okay, here she comes.

♪♪

Ooh! Spooky!

Slow and steady, Brooke. Slow and steady.

[ Alarm blaring ]

Oh! Come on!

You made it half a step into the room!

You're setting off the alarm, Brooke.

[ Alarm continues ] Brooke, don't wake the baby! Get outside!

You're caught in the door!

Get your sheet in the door!

Get your sheet together!

Brooke: Gonna try holding it like a barrier,

'cause maybe that motion detector

could sense the supernatural,

and I looked like a ghost last time.

Kevin: It's working. You're doing better this time.

Oh! Careful with that door!

[ Door closes ]

Okay.

Brooke: I sort of lost track of where I'm going.

[ Alarm blaring ]

-[Bleep] -Nope.

Kevin: Oh! Brooke, no!

Didn't work, Brooke.

I don't know if you can hear the sirens.

[ Buzzer ]

Kevin: All right, let me give this a shot.

[ Grunts ]

All right, kev, we're armed and ready for you.

Let's see what you got.

Kevin: Brooke, I'm in the house!

This is more upsetting

than any person ever coming into a house.

Brooke, I'm on the carpet!

So far, it ain't detecting [bleep]

Brooke, I really should've cut some eye holes in this.

Yes, you should've.

You're headed straight for the couch.

Kevin: Okay.

Here?

There you go. About face, about face.

Here?

No, no, no -- ah, 360. Do a 360 from --

no, no, no, wait -- a 180 from where you are.

Sorry.

-Brooke? -Yeah?

I can't spin around anymore.

Okay, okay. Just go forward.

I'm gonna try to bunny-hop it.

[ Chuckles ]

How is this detector not detecting this?

[ Grunting ]

Whoa!

All right, you're through!

[ Bell dings ]

What?!

What?!

All right, that was... How?!

Why?! On what planet does that work?!

I feel like we need to call the manufacturer

and alert them immediately

that anyone in a box can sneak into your home.

If that box said "acme" on the side of it,

it would make sense.

That's something that works in road runner cartoons.

That said, while you can game the system with a box,

it's so cumbersome,

I think it's safe to say

that you can keep your home-security system.

So sleep tight, america.

♪♪

[ Cat purrs ]

[ Cat yowls ]

♪♪

[ Crashes ]

Mmm, cold pizza -- breakfast of champions.

Ah, son of a bitch.

Unless your roommate ate all your pizza again.

Don't worry. We've got a hack

for turning these scraps into a breakfast frittata.

Okay? So in your face, Brandy.

Food stealer.

First step, just grab your little scrap of pizza

and cut it up into some bite-size pieces.

The worst part about leftover pizza

is how dry and gross and brittle it gets,

so you want to rehydrate it

by soaking it in a little bit of milk.

Now, to make our actual frittata,

we are going to crack open some eggs...

♪♪

...pour them on top of the pizza crust,

then add whatever ingredients you want.

But don't be boring. All right?

Let's stuff it full of [bleep]

I'm gonna throw some cheese in here,

some diced tomatoes.

Some fresh basil in here, as well.

These are really authentic Italian flavors

you're adding to your frittata.

Grandma would be proud if she were still with us.

Now, you could get fancy

and put it in a skillet in the oven,

but why not use a mug

and put it in the microwave instead?

Your frittata will be just as good in a quarter of the time.

Cheers to shortcuts.

[ Beep ]

Oh. [ Chuckles ]

Talk about breakfast of champions.

Audience: Ooh! Ah!

It tastes like pizza!

Yep. This is really good.

No pizza left behind -- not on my watch.

Release the hounds! [ Dog barks ]

Up next, hacks to keep man's best friend

from becoming your lawn's worst enemy.

Oh! A lot of action in the control zone.

Brooke: And pick up your empties in a single ground stroke.

It's game, set, hacks, when we come back.

Can't they read.

Printed out a sign and everything.

Are you tired of your four-legged friends

treating your yard like their own personal outhouse?

Sorry about that.

They learned it from watching you.

Today we're fighting back with the power of science.

We're going to cheaply doggy-proof your lawn

in this hacksperiment.

To help us determine which hack works best

for keeping unwanted dogs off your lawn,

today I'm joined by Monique and Corey

and some very furry test subjects.

Who are these guys?

So, this is comet, and this is red and Duncan.

All right, we have some hacks today

that are gonna stop animals from getting on your lawn.

They're all safe, they're inexpensive,

and they're going to be effective...

Great. ...Maybe.

We got to test them out.

Feast your eyes on our grassy lab.

It's a lawn with some paint and things.

Let me explain them.

In zone 1,

we've got lawn ornaments that are filled with vinegar.

Dogs have a very heightened sense of smell,

and the thought is that the acidic vinegar,

they're not gonna like that.

In zone 2, we have a sprinkler

that we've hacked to be motion-activated.

If the dogs get too close,

they'll be blasted with an unpleasant jet of cold water.

Zone 3 looks like a little ordinary patch of grass.

Beneath that is a motion-detected alarm system,

and that element of surprise might scare them away.

And finally, zone 4 -- that's our control zone.

It's just a plain old lawn.

We're gonna have the dogs run around in this yard

for about 20 minutes,

and then we'll track how much time they spend in each zone.

Our hypothesis?

That the less time the dogs spend in each zone,

the less likely they are to pee all over it.

-You guys ready to do this? -Yeah.

Are they ready to do this?

Hey, buddy. We're shooting a show.

Release the hounds!

Look at all these places...

-Come on! Comet! -...To sniff and pee.

[ Sniffing ]

-Loving that control zone. -Yeah.

Comet, be careful there. Oh, be careful, comet.

Whoa, comet. Comet's getting close.

-Oh! -Oh! Comet did not like!

Comet did not like the sprinkler.

Okay, so can confirm -- dog does not like water.

Oh. There's -- oh!

Ooh, Duncan's entering the alarm zone.

[ Alarm wails ] Oh, undeterred.

Monique: He couldn't care less!

No. He's breaking into this car, he's taking the stereo,

he's going through the glove box.

Just did not care about the sound.

Okay, control zone -- we've got an intrude-- oh!

A lot of action in the control zone.

That's a touchdown.

[ Chuckles ] I'm marking that.

If that had a confetti canon, I would shoot it right at him.

[ Whistle blows ]

Okay, we got some tulip sniffing going on here.

Oh. Oh, got some vinegar sniffs.

Monique: I will say these tulips

are something they would normally pee on.

Especially the males.

They want to Mark anything sticking up,

and they're not going anywhere near it.

Yeah. One whiff of that vinegar, and they were out of there.

All right, guys. It looks like our dogs are all exhausted.

-Come on, guys. -Come on, buddies.

You guys did so good. You peed on all the things.

Well, as adorable as that was, we did gather some hard data.

This was all about the science, guys.

I've crunched the numbers, so let's walk through.

All right, we had a control zone

where the dogs spent 7 minutes and 24 seconds --

the most time they spent in any zone.

We also had a number two in that zone.

Shh. Don't embarrass him.

Look, it's fine. Everybody does it.

There's a book about it.

I'll read it to you sometime before bed.

The second most popular zone was the alarm zone.

The dogs spent 4 minutes and 50 seconds there.

The third most popular zone was the motion-activated sprinkler.

They spent 3 minutes and 30 seconds hanging out there.

The water definitely scared them away,

but the surprise hack

that kept the dogs out of the zone the most

was the tulips and vinegar.

The odor must have overpowered their sensitive little noses,

because they only spent 2 minutes and 6 seconds

in that zone.

The results are very conclusive.

The next time you want to keep dogs off your lawn,

reach for a jug of vinegar.

Thank you, guys.

And thank you so much.

You're a gentleman and a scholar.

I love you. Yes. Okay.

Hey. Hey.

You stole first right there, and I'm not mad at you.

♪♪

Ow.

Kevin: Sometimes ordinary people do extraordinary things

all in the name of hacking.

But not Vincent.

He took a house-sitting job and promptly threw a rager.

♪♪

Oh, no.

Kevin: Now the owner is on her way home,

and he needs to clean up this mess quick.

Luckily, Vincent knows just the man for the job.

People call him the cleaner, and he's a hack hero!

The cleaner knows how to hack any mess,

like this monster candle wax spill

that will take forever to scrape off.

Good thing the cleaner is packing heat!

The hair dryer does to wax

what hydrochloric acid does to a body --

melts it down and makes it easy to wipe up.

As Vincent hustles to dispose of the rest of the party evidence,

the cleaner covers up the odor of stale beer

by burning leftover pizza crust.

Mmm! Smells non-incriminating.

Ugh! It'll be hours of back-breaking labor

to collect all those empties,

but those cans are no match for the cleaner,

who gives Vincent a tennis-ball hopper.

Now he can pick up multiple cans without bending down --

game, set, hacks.

Looks like the cleaner's job is done with minutes to spare.

But wait -- they forgot the beer keg.

By covering it with a blanket and a piece of glass,

they transform it into a fancy end table!

And just in time.

The homeowner is back, and she's none the wiser,

all thanks to the --

where'd he go?

The cleaner's exit is as stealthy as his hacks.

It was a pleasure watching you work,

because you are a true hack hero.

Brooke: Wake up, hackers.

Dah! Kevin!

Coming up, a brilliant bedroom hack

that just might save your relationship.

Ah, it's like he never even existed.

And don't you dare throw out those old mix cds.

Our home hackspert shows you how to rock out in the shower

when we return.

♪ Girls on the runway, runway ♪

[ Gasps ]

Hey, guys. What's up?

I'm sorry if I don't seem myself right now.

It's just that I feel lifeless,

because my hair is so lifeless right now.

But not for long.

I'm gonna teach you how to hack sea salt spray

to get beachy waves.

All you need is some sea salt and seltzer water.

Just sloosh it around.

Now, you just want to spray this liberally into your hair

while scrunching.

You got to scrunch.

Say it with me, everybody.

You got to scrunch.

You got to scrunch.

You got to scrunch.

Oh, my god. Who is that?

[ Laughs ]

My hair is on fleek.

It's literally on top of fleek.

Thanks for watching and goodbye.

[ Snores ]

[ Grunts ] Ahh.

[ Sighs ] What are you doing?

I didn't mean to wake you.

I'm just dying to know how this book ends.

I'll show you an ending if you don't turn the light off.

Don't have to get fussy, 'cause it's tumblr's hack mail.

Today I'm joined in bed by Kevin

to test out three hacks

that will supposedly allow you to stay up and read

while your partner gets some sleep.

That's right, and whichever hack affords us the most beauty rest,

well, it will be awarded our...

Both: Hack seal of approval!

Light it up, kev.

Our first hack comes to us from Seth in akron, Ohio.

Let's hunker down for the night.

[ Sighs ]

[ Clears throat ]

Okay. I got to aim the light onto the page,

or I go up like this, but then I can't see the page.

[ Sighs ]

You get-- oh!

I think this is

a potentially very dangerous and uncomfortable hack.

Everything you're saying is true. Oh!

Hack number two comes to us from Bruce in Reno, Nevada.

Okay. So, there is actually something scientific

backing this hack.

Why don't we jump on in and try it.

Nighty-night. Okay.

[ Sighs ]

So, this could kind of work.

I think you have to find a place to rest the bottle.

It's actually gentle on the eyes.

Kev, is this disturbing you at all?

[ Snoring ] Kev?

Come on. Let's do our third hack.

Kevin! Dah!

Number three!

Our third and final hack

comes to us from Susan in Phoenix, Arizona.

You ever hang up a sheet as a room divider in college?

No. I just put a sock on the door.

Okay, not exactly what I was getting at, but... Oh! Okay. Got it.

Now, I'm sure Susan is a very fancy lady

and she attaches her sheet from the ceiling,

but we're in the hack lab.

Oh, yeah. So our curtain's just going to magically appear.

Mm-hmm.

Wow! Magic!

Ah, it's like he never even existed.

I can't hear you through this impermeable barrier.

Well, I'm gonna turn off the light and head to bed.

Okay.

Are you seeing any of the light spill over?

It's keeping the light out, but, like, how embarrassing

if anyone came over and saw our privacy curtain on the bed.

They'd know that we're going to couple's therapy.

This hack makes me just feel kind of sad.

Yeah.

So, let's summarize here. Three very different hacks.

We started with a headband and a cellphone.

It just was ridiculous.

Yeah, the light from the led on most smartphones

is a terrible thing to have near or around your eyes at all.

It'll keep you up.

Then let's talk about the sheet that we just --

I mean, like, what was that?

Maybe it's effective for kids.

If you're forced to share a bed, that way you can divide it.

But we're adults,

and we got to do anything possible to keep the love alive.

Which leaves us

with the flashlight in a red water bottle.

In a pinch, totally worked.

Bruce, we're gonna make it official.

You have our...

Both: Hack seal of approval!

Well, if you want to see your hacks on this very show,

go to hackmylifetrutv.Tumblr.Com

and send us your hacks today.

[ Yawns ] Babe...

Let's lower the curtain.

Yeah, let's bring it down.

And I think it's time to get crazy.

[ Chuckles ] Smell you later. I'm going to sleep.

[ Sighs ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

♪♪

Kevin: The hack mvp award.

Today, we salute an item

that's constantly carrying the team --

the paper plate.

Need some defense on moving day?

Watch as our mvp slides into home plate

and keeps its whole team from breaking down.

Trying to measure something big?

When a ruler just can't hack it, paper plates can.

Make a dozen evenly spaced marks on a twelve-inch paper plate,

attach a handle, and it's on a roll.

Got to whip up the competition

but don't want to mess up the uniform?

The paper plate has got you covered.

After poking a few holes,

they've got those whisks covered, too.

Need to plate your baked goods in style?

With just a few snips, some tape, and a bit of ribbon,

you'll be making baskets all night.

The brownies could go all the way to the party!

[ Whistle blows ]

Or maybe not.

Congratulations, paper plate.

You always serve up a mammoth play,

and because of that, we name you our hack mvp.

Up next, say goodbye to those old mix cds

and hello to a luxurious shower experience...

Look at that!

...when we return

Oh, got it?

Folks, getting clean doesn't have to be painful.

That's why I'm joined

by home-hacking expert David switalski.

He's gonna teach us how to turn an ordinary showerhead

into a luxurious, spa-worthy experience.

What are we making today, buddy?

We're making a rainfall showerhead

out of an old cd spindle and some basic hand tools.

Well, most of our viewers

would have to go to a museum to get a cd spindle,

but I happen to travel with my 2002 mega-mix compilation

everywhere I go.

I got "hack into the '80s," "summer jams,"

"top 10 animal screams" -- we're gonna want that one.

Okay, can we just get rid of all these? Yep. Please.

Great!

We're gonna start by making a grid on the lid.

You need the compass first.

We're gonna make five rings around the top of this,

and we're gonna cross section them.

And every time the two points meet, we're gonna make holes.

So, I'm basically slicing in some vinyl-style grooves.

While you're doing that,

I'm gonna take the face off this showerhead,

and that's gonna be our source of water

for this new showerhead.

-Okay. -All right.

Okay, I've got my grids scored on in there.

All right, let's move on to the next step.

Take one of these tacks, heat it up with this candle,

and every time the grid intersects, pop a hole.

I'm starting to get it now.

So, water is going to come out of here,

and then we're gonna go like this?

Seal up all the components.

And all these little holes are

where the water's gonna come shooting out.

So, next I'm gonna super glue the old showerhead

to the old cd spindle

and start the process of sealing this up.

All this super glue and the hot glue --

all that can withstand the pressure and the heat

of the water that's gonna be piping through this?

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it wouldn't last 20 years.

It's made of a cd spindle, so...

[ Laughter ] What do you expect?

So, this is all set up now.

Well, then we'd better hit the showers.

Shall I?

Please. Do the honors.

[ Beethoven's "ode to joy" plays ]

[ Laughing ] Hey!

Pretty nice.

Look at that! This works perfectly!

Oh, David.

[ Chuckles ]

Fantastic hack.

Way less pressure, much better spread,

and there's plenty of room in here,

if you want to come on in and admire your handiwork.

Step right up.

Oh, my god! Oh! We got real close.

Where's the loofah?

Oh, you got real close. I felt all of that.

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