Original subtitles

Brooke: The following is a paid advertisement

for ball buster deluxe!

Trying to unclog a sink is a nightmare.

Just look at this cesspool.

[ Gags ]

But I do have a solution that's gonna bust this clog.

Introducing the ball buster deluxe!,

the plunger that everybody's got at home.

All you do is steal a ball from your neighbor's kid,

make a quick cut around the middle,

and you're good to go.

Put it facedown over your drain, give it a couple pumps.

Come on! Stay with me here!

[ Pop! ]

Boom! Bye-bye, Mr. Clog.

And the best part -- you don't get one plunger.

You get two plungers for the price of none.

It also works on toilets.

[ Grunts, gags ]

What a deal!

Coming up on "hack my life," get pumped.

Hey!

-You're inour -[ Laughs ]

Kevin: We hit the courts for a battle of the balls.

[ Grunts ]

-Out of here. -I got it!

Brooke: Plus, tricks to tackle your sagging sheets.

Oh, god!

Kevin: Sweet hacks

that'll impress your stoner friends.

Oh, my god, someone stop me!

Kevin: And a new way to hack your melon.

...2, 3.

Both: Aah!

-Grab a pillow. -Ohh!

Kevin: It's "hack my life."

[ Indistinct conversations ]

-What? -Oh.

-You're doing good. -Oh!

Hey! You ladies get lost on your way to the outlets?

-'Cause you're inour -[ Laughs ]

-Short gap! -And one!

I thought there would be more air in that.

I really did. -Ah, that's embarrassing.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

I got some hacks that will get our bounce back.

-All right, all right. -'Cause this is hack vs. Ha--

-out of here. -I got it!

Kevin: Brought to you by metropcs.

Saggy balls are no fun to play with,

so today we're testing out some hacks for blowing up basketballs

in case you don't have a pump nearby.

And to help us determine which hack

is going to be the king of the court,

we're joined by three stars

of the Los Angeles Lakers development team --

Zach, Andre, and Justin.

Is there a way to know

that a basketball is properly inflated?

Andre: Yeah, there's a general rule.

If you outstretch your arm, when you drop it,

it should come back and hit your elbow.

So, this one is about good to go.

I learned something today.

Well, we're gonna learn a lot today

because we have three hacks that may actually help you

get air inside of a deflated basketball.

[ Laughter ]

-This should be interesting. -Yeah.

Brooke: Okay, hack number one is a balloon.

Put a coffee stirrer on the end of it,

kind of the way you would a needle,

attach it with some duct tape, and let her rip.

Hack number two is some compressed air.

Get the straw into the basketball.

Pull the trigger.

That should inflate it to regulation size.

And lastly, hack number three is a microwave.

I'm not sure why you'd have one of these on the court,

but if you nuke your basketball for just the right temperature,

it should re-inflate.

Just don't overcook it.

Nobody wants their balls overcooked.

-No, they don't. -No.

So, who's gonna take what?

I got dibs on the microwave.

Wait. Youwant

you can't go wrong with technology.

Andre, what hack would you want?

I'm gonna take the balloons.

So, Justin, that would leave you

with this can of compressed air.

The only question is, is it enough pressure?

But I think it'll work.

The rules are simple --

whoever can get air back in that ball the fastest --

they're the winner.

All right, well, let's get into it.

3, 2...

Hack. [ Whistle blows ]

-Oh, god. -Yeah.

Okay, there is a basketball almost in a microwave.

That's part of the issue. Okay.

-Wow. -He mashed it.

How long you putting that in the microwave?

30 seconds. Okay.

Really? Okay, Andre's blowing up a balloon.

There's a lot of finessing.

You don't want to pop it.

Justin is being gentle.

Andre looks like he's trying to nurse a kitten back to health.

It looks like he's gently feeding some air into the ball.

[ Microwave beeps ]

All right, that's 30 seconds.

-Ooh! Ooh! -Ooh, nice and warm?

There you go. Oh! Is that -- wait, no.

-No, that's not inflated. -No way.

[ Whistle blows ]

Zach, sorry, buddy. We got to call you back here.

It just needs a little more time.

-Yeah, okay. -Give it a little more time.

So, I think what's happening is that the microwaves --

well, they're heating up the air that's inside the ball,

so that's making it expand.

But once it cools down...

Is that working at all, Andre?

-A little bit. -Yeah?

I need about eight balloons, though.

Oh, that one works extremely well.

There's kind of no contest here.

-Oh, yeah. -Oh, that's it.

-Wait. -You obviously cheated.

Now he's just mocking them openly.

-Look like that's it. -Yeah, I guess so.

Oh, that is it, my friends!

Okay. [ Whistle blows ]

Brooke: Justin made the right call.

Compressed air takes the win.

[ Bell dings, crowd cheers ]

This hack was the clear winner, no gimmicks, no tricks.

And you get to go home with this...

Oh, yes.

...the gold-plated pump.

♪ Ahh ♪

The winner of this hack vs. Hack

is Justin and the can of compressed air!

♪♪

[ Hammering ]

[ Sparkle! ]

[ Bubbles popping ]

Listen up, all you single ladies.

We're about to pop the question in today's pop quiz.

I forgot to put in the rsvps!

Brooke: Is your wedding-envelope error

making you wish you could elope?

I've got a hack that can unseal your fate.

Are you ready to play today's pop quiz?

Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!

I haven't actually asked the question yet.

Sorry. Instincts, I guess.

Okay, guess what you can use to re-open those envelopes

without doing any damage.

Is it "a," a knife,

"b," a freezer bag,

or "c," an iron?

Any ideas?

Hmm.

No.

Maybe the stea-- ugh!

Do I get a phone-a-friend?

Just let me call my wedding planner.

Shh.

What does your heart tell you the answer is?

An iron?

Ooh, so close.

The answer is actually "b," the freezer bag.

Brooke: Just put your envelopes in an airtight freezer bag,

seal the bag up, then set them in the freezer.

The cold, dry environment should harden the adhesive,

and after 45 minutes,

they should pop right open, damage-free.

Thank you so much.

You're the second best thing that's ever happened to me.

Now go get ready for your big day,

you blushing bride.

I hope you stay married for at least nine months.

That's how long I lasted.

[ Boing! Boing! Boing! ]

[ Projector whirring ]

Kevin: The Fanny pack --

'80s fashion phenomenon,

accessory of tourists,

and also a hack from history.

Wanting a way to carry stuff around,

the Greeks hack animal skins into a small waist bag.

By Zeus, this is perfect for my pan flute!

The design is tweaked over time,

but ultimately forgotten until...

Melba stone is a widow struggling to raise 10 kids.

[ Australia accent ] A dingo ate my husband.

She spots a kangaroo in her yard and gets an idea.

She creates a hip pouch

that lets her carry her littlest ones hands free,

and the Fanny pack is reborn!

Fanny-pack fever reaches a new high.

Adweek the hottest product of the year

for being casual enough for the beach

and classy enough for a fine dinner suit.

But the Fanny pack again falls out of fashion until...

Chanel makes the Fanny pack

one of the accessories in its spring collection.

Ooh, là, là!

Très chic.

So, here's to you, Fanny pack.

May you remain in style

and a Fanny-tastic hack from history.

Don't move that Fanny.

Up next, office hacks

that'll make your co-workers jealous.

Yes!

Brooke: And never fight with fitted sheets again.

Kevin and I take it to the bedroom to find the fix.

Ow! Oh, god!

Brooke: The following is a paid advertisement

for bottle pitter promax.

When someone says, "life is a bowl of cherries,"

I say, "I feel sorry for your life

because cherries are a nightmare!"

First, you got to get rid of this,

and that leaves you with this.

I'm gonna show you how to make a perfectly pitted cherry

with an empty bottle and a chopstick.

I call it the bottle pitter promax.

Just take your cherry, put it over your bottle,

put in the chopstick, and wham! --

perfectly pitted cherry every time.

I could do this all day.

[ Pop! Pop! Pop! ]

-[ Groaning ] -Stop it.

Unh! These fitted sheets are a nightmare.

Well, they wouldn't be if you would stop kicking.

I don't kick.

And that is why we're testing three different hacks

for keeping those creeping corners in place.

This is tumblr's hack mail.

Today Kevin and I are testing out your hacks

to keep fitted sheets where they belong --

on the mattress.

Now, the hack that secures the sheets the best

will win our hack...

Both: Seal of approval!

Ready to hop in?

Lay it on me, kev.

Our first hack...

Okay. You just have some suspenders...

Rainy day. Okay.

You never know.

All right.

I'm gonna clamp these little dragon mouths down.

Then I'll pass it on over to you.

Go for it.

I got it.

Okay. My side's good.

In the name of science,

I feel like we got to put it through its paces.

Oh, yeah. Whoo!

-Okay. Wait. Wait. Wait. -Fussy baby! Fussy baby!

Fussy baby! -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh! -[ Grunts ]

Unh!

Well, they didn't move an inch.

No. These fitted sheets are staying in place.

I'd say solid hack.

Hack number two. John writes...

"Wink, smiley face."

Do you know what he means?

-Eating and crying? -I don't know.

-Anyway, let's try it out. -Okay.

We've got some velcro.

We're gonna cut off pieces about this big.

-Right there? -Yep.

Cool. I'm gonna go ahead and put

this first strip of adhesive on the sheet,

right about here.

Rub it in for a few seconds. Let it set.

I'm gonna try it along the side and see how that does.

Stop it. No.

I told you not to borrow my underwear.

How's it looking, bvp? Oh, yeah.

Hang on. I can't hear you. What?

It's holding. Is it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, one more time.

[ Laughs ] I mean it.

Ohh!

Okay, so, the sheet's definitely staying clamped on the corners

where it counts.

My concern is when it comes time to wash the sheets,

what are you gonna do?

Yeah. You're right.

There's adhesive already on the inside of the sheet.

A hassle. Oh, yeah.

Our final hack comes to us from Alayna.

Alayna writes...

Assuming the trick is

poking holes in your sheet and mattress.

So, I got my safety pin, I got my sheet,

and I'm gonna Pierce it through the actual mattress

because Alayna said so.

Yeah. I just don't like putting holes in the sheets.

I mean, who would? Uh-huh.

Ow. Why did you -- ow!

Ow! What -- aah! Ow!

Ow! Oh, my god!

Let go!

Okay. Everything's intact over here.

Yep. I'm still all pinned.

All right, shall we review our hacks?

-They all worked, Brooke. -They did all work.

I'm gonna rule out the safety pins.

Even though they worked,

you are putting holes in your bedsheets and your mattress.

I feel like one false move,

and you could put a huge tear in your sheet

and then you just have to throw them out.

Now, let's get to the old velcro.

They really worked, but the big turnoff was the adhesive

that gets left behind on your sheets.

All right, that brings us to suspenders.

Okay. They're reusable.

They were really easy to put on. They don't damage your sheets.

They don't permanently alter your mattress.

Haley, you get our...

Both: Hack seal of approval!

Now, if you're watching this and thinking,

"man, I'd like my ideas

to be romped around in a bed with Brooke and Kevin,"

head on over to hackmylifetrutv.Tumblr.Com

and send us your hacks today.

♪♪

Kevin: Sometimes ordinary people do extraordinary things,

all in the name of hacking...

...people like Gayle,

who's vying for the title of employee of the month.

She's already won it twice this year,

but in march, her rival, Rita, took it home.

Gayle won't let that happen again

because she's a hack hero!

To make it look like

she was first in the office this morning,

Gayle left a cup of coffee and a half-eaten bagel

at her desk last night.

The head honcho loves employees that are go-getters.

Now,that's of champions.

[ Snarls ]

[ Gags ]

Kevin: By confidently carrying a clipboard around the office,

Gayle sends the message that she's super in charge!

And that pencil behind her ear doesn't hurt, either.

Just watch out for Rita,

who's clever enough to actually read what's on it.

[ Whoosh! Thud! ]

Kevin: Way to trip up the competition, Gayle.

At her desk, Gayle doesn't sweat a thing.

[ Ding! ]

She maximized her efficiency

by converting her phone into a hands-free headset

with a sweatband.

To hack her cubicle privacy to the next level,

Gayle hangs a small mirror on the wall.

Co-workers may think she's vain,

but she's got something else on her beautiful mind,

keeping eyes on the competition.

Notthis

hello. Employee of the month?

It's Gayle calling.

Thank you for coming.

At last, it's employee of the month decision time.

And the winner is...

The suspense is killing me.

...Gayle!

What's up?! Yes!

Kevin: Gayle wins by a landslide.

Congratulations, Gayle.

With hacks this smart,

you'll be the boss in no time because you're a hack hero!

Brooke: Up next, Kevin and I go band for band

in the watermelon equivalent of "the hurt locker."

Just explode!

Kevin: See what breaks first --

Brooke or the watermelon.

[ Ding! ]

Brooke: The following is a paid advertisement

for cheese chewer plus!

Kevin: Tired of trying to grate cheese with a grater?

[ Sniffs, groans ]

The cheese-grater industry wants you to panic

and buy one of their big, fancy box graters.

Well, let me let you in on a secret --

you don't need one!

Introducing the amazing cheese chewer plus!

It's so easy!

Look at all that cheddar! Mmm!

And look at all that cheddar in your pocket.

And that's not all.

Use it to mince garlic,

chop egg, mash avocado, rice potatoes!

Is there anything this magical device can't do?

Just those three things?

Head to your kitchen right now

and meet your brand-new cheese chewer plus!

It's a strainer.

♪♪

[ Kettle whistling ]

So, you've got everything you need for a perfect picnic,

but the one thing you forgot --

a knife to cut the watermelon.

Brooke, don't worry.

All you need is a bucket of rubber bands...

At least according to the Internet.

We're gonna find out if it's hack or wack.

You claim we can slice open this watermelon

with rubber bands, huh?

After you do enough of them,

the tension is gonna squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, and then --

[ pops lips ]

It's a nice, clean cut right in half.

Like, we never need to use knives again?

Why would you? This is way more fun.

Okay. I'm in.

Okay. Well, we should be careful, though,

'cause it could explode, so protective gear --

goggles, ponchos,

everything that you would have at a Gallagher concert.

Here we go.

I'm doubling it up, going two at a time.

Watermelons just don't stand a chance against Brooke and kev.

Okay, so, what,

like another few rubber bands, you think, or...

Yeah, just a few hundred. Yeah.

It's weird 'cause the look on your face

says that you'renot this hack, Brooke.

Ooh, can I do that one?

[ Chuckles ] Whoo!

Oh. You need help? You need help?

-I'll get it. I'll get it. -Yep, I'm good. I'm good.

Here you go.

It's been 40 minutes now.

We're well over the 300 Mark for rubber bands.

This is ridiculous.

But I feel like this thing's gonna blow.

That's starting to get a very defined waistline.

1...

We letting go on 3? ...2...

2, 3.

This is like the produce "hurt locker."

[ Imitates explosion ]

Okay to go.

Ohh!

[ Laughs ]

Okay. All right. Okay. Nope.

We're gonna get this before nightfall.

Before the hawks scoop in.

♪♪

Okay, we are an hour and a half into the process.

Wow. This is like 350, 400 rubber bands at this point.

Easily. Yeah.

I hate it.

Ugh!

Oh, I hate it so much.

I hate everything about it so much.

Just -- just pop!

Just pop! Come on!

Let's keep going. Let's see this through.

♪♪

Right in the middle, right in the middle.

[ Ding! ] Good!

Whoa.

You're mocking me, melon.

Just explode!

This is the worst hack we've ever done.

[ Melancholy music playing ]

[ Sighs ]

Aah! Aah! Aah!

I told you! Ha ha!

Oh, that was amazing!

[ Slowed voice ] Aah!

Aah!

Look at the clean cut.

We can't eat it.

What are you talking about? This is perfect!

Oh.

Oh, it was worth every second, Brooke.

Huh?

With just this many rubber bands,

you, too, can explode a watermelon

so that it's inedible.

I'm picking up what you're putting down, and I agree.

This is hack.

Whoa! No, no, no, no.

How long did it take? How many rubber bands?

Do your fingers hurt?

Yeah, but now they taste like delicious watermelon.

[ Sighs ] Just say it.

All right. It's wack.

Thank you.

[ Buzzer ]

And I'm allergic to watermelon, so...

Yeah, you need to get out of here.

Pretty fun, though.

Can you hand me that roof piece?

Oh. Hold on. Yeah.

Looks delicious.

Kevin: Up next, you won't believe your eyes.

This is naughty.

Kevin: Brooke transforms an ice cream sandwich

into an ice cream cake when we return.

♪♪

[ Crash, clattering ]

You don't have to be a baker

to hack together an ice cream cake.

All you need is some ice cream sandwiches,

some cookies, whipped cream,

and an incredibly high tolerance for sugar.

-Ooh! -Let's get started.

For our first step, we grab a loaf pan about this big.

And you're gonna line it with saran wrap.

Your first layer is going to be whipped cream.

You're gonna need a nap after this.

This is when the ice cream sandwiches come into play.

You can just kind of go side by side.

Cut the third one in half to fill in the extra space.

You think that's enough?

Hell, no, it's not enough.

Back at it with another layer of whipped cream.

Oh, my god, someone stop me!

Next we are gonna kick it up and add a layer of cookies.

This is perfect if you happen to have some stale cookies

put them to good use.

Nothing feels better than smashing a bunch of cookies.

Huh?

Sprinkle a generous layer of cookie crumbs

and then put it in the freezer for an hour so it can set.

-Ooh! -O-m-g.

It's an ice cream cake.

-Aah! -This is naughty.

Next, I've got a hack

that will help you decorate this cake like a real pro.

All you need is a cookie cutter and four pounds of sprinkles.

Oh, boy.

Place the cookie cutter on your cake,

fill it with a layer of sprinkles,

lift up the cutter, and it'll hold its shape.

This looks so professional,

you'd hardly know that it's all from a 99-cent store.

So wrong....

But it's so right.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Oh, I hate it so much. I hate it, too.

This is like the worst edgeplay.

We don't have a safe word.

We don't have a safe word.

Ohh! Utah!

Okay.

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