Original subtitles

[ Piano plays ]

[ Water splashing ]

>> ♪ So, your life's a mess, and

so are you ♪

♪ but you don't have to feel so

blue ♪

♪ we've got tips, and we've got

tricks ♪

♪ if you're stuck, we've got a

fix ♪

♪ take a look at your life like

never before ♪

♪ the hacks of life can give you

more and more ♪

♪ we may not always get it

right ♪

♪ when we're learning the hacks

of life ♪

♪ it will be all right on a

night ♪

♪ when we're learning the hacks

of life ♪

[ Laughter ]

[ Applause ]

>> Tonight...

This is great.

...on "hack my life"...

>> Oh, my god!

What happened over there?

>> ...it's our dirtiest episode

yet.

>> [ Grunting ]

>> We show you how to get

unstuck without losing your

hair.

>> [ Crying ] Oh!

Learn the true meaning of magic

with these bewitching broomstick

hacks.

>> Let me in! Let me in!

>> Plus, prepare to be amazed.

>> Whoo!

>> This is the stupidest thing

we've ever done.

Tonight, we go where no hacker's

gone before.

>> Dumpster party!

Suit up...

[ Whistle! ]

Whoo!

...because "hack my life" starts

now.

Chewing gum.

Oh, I get it.

You think it's all fun and

games.

You think it's all minty

refreshment.

Well, guess what?

You're wrong!

>> This stuff could kill you.

I mean, I'm exaggerating a

little bit, but it would be,

like, really annoying if it got

stuck in your hair.

>> Right.

>> Yeah.

>> Well, thankfully, we have

some hacks that can save you

from a bad hair day.

And we're gonna find out what

works best in this

hack vs. Hack.

Tony!

[ Bell dings ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Peanut butter and olive oil.

Mmm! Makes for a great cleanse.

But these are also hacks for

getting chewing gum out of your

hair.

>> But just to be clear

[laughs] We're not putting gum

in our own hair.

>> Oh, no.

>> Oh, hell no!

[ Ding! ]

Everyone, please meet Theo.

>> Mm-hmm.

Oh, and his twin brother, Eddie.

Biological. Right, guys?

>> Totally.

>> Here's how this is going

down.

We're gonna chew a bunch of

bubble gum, we're gonna mash it

into these human-hair wigs...

>> Oh, yeah.

Just smash it in there.

Theo are gonna be on

team olive oil.

>> Eddie and I -- we've got

"hack my life" creamy peanut

butter.

>> And whoever gets the most gum

out of the wigs in 60 seconds

wins!

Let's gum it up.

[ Groans ] All right.

This is disgusting.

Somehow, it's still worse for

us.

>> I love you, Eddie.

>> [ Laughs ]

>> We're gonna be best friends.

>> All right, kev, you got your

gloves?

>> I do.

>> Put 60 seconds on the clock,

and let's hack this gum out of

some hair.

Let's go.

[ Air horn blows ]

>> Okay.

>> Oh, boy. Okay.

So -- eeh!

>> All right.

Getting some creamy --

>> oh, I'm sorry, Theo. Ew!

That's what the poncho's for.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Eddie, you tell me if this

hurts, all right?

>> So, the oil and olive oil and

peanut butter is gonna help

break down the resin in the gum

and make it easier to slide out

of the hair.

>> Gonna try to comb it out.

Aw!

[ Rip! ]

Oh! I can hear ripping.

>> Oh, but Kevin.

>> Aah!

[ Crying ] Oh!

That's disgusting!

>> Oh! Two.

>> This is making such a mess.

>> Hey, this really works.

>> Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, I got a piece.

That looks malignant.

[ Laughter ]

>> How are you doing over there,

kev?

>> Oh, no. Oh, this is a knot.

>> Oh, my god!

What happened over there?

>> No!

>> Oh, my god, don't look at it.

Don't look at it, Theo.

>> Oh, oh...Eddie!

If this were your real hair,

Eddie, you'd be screaming in

pain right now.

>> There's 10 seconds on the

clock.

>> Come on!

>> Fu...

>> Come on!

I'm gonna break the comb!

>> 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

[ Buzzer ]

That's time.

>> Oh! That's disgusting!

>> How are you doing over there?

>> Great, Brooke.

Thank you for asking.

>> I would not call that great.

>> This is a choice, and it's a

great one.

If you don't have olive oil, the

peanut butter works.

>> It works.

>> I did have to pull so hard,

though, that you would have lost

a chunk of your scalp at one

point.

You probably want to let the

peanut butter set.

I notice that in the pieces that

took a second or two to sort of

marinate in that peanut butter,

those pulled out much easier.

>> They pulled out.

So it's more about time with the

peanut butter.

>> Yeah.

>> With olive oil, you could do

it really quickly.

I got seven pieces of gum.

Count them. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

>> I got four.

>> I think olive oil was the

clear winner.

It was definitely the superior

hack for getting gum out of

hair.

[ Bell dings ]

[ Party favor blows ]

>> Congrats to you, bvp.

You win this hack vs. Hack.

>> Thank you so much.

Hey, let's get out ofhair.

>> [ Laughs ]

>> Let's go. Bye, guys.

[ Whip! Boing! ]

>> Sometimes a household item is

so useful, it ascends into the

pantheon of great hacking tools.

Today, we celebrate one that's

truly become a hack all-star --

the broomstick.

[ Twinkle! ]

Best friend of witches

everywhere, these simple sticks

have magic potential.

Light bulb need changing?

Just say no to wobbly ladders

and use a broom handle instead.

Simply tape a paper cup to the

end and twist.

[ Pop! ]

>> All-star!

>> Want awesome pecs, but can't

get to the gym?

Put together a pull-up bar at

home with a towel, two weighted

chairs, and a broomstick!

>> All-star!

>> Windows that need covering?

A retired broomstick can have a

whole new career as a curtain

rod.

>> All-star!

>> Need some privacy?

Latch three broomsticks

together, and as if by magic,

you've got your very own

teepee-style hideaway.

[ Meows ]

>> All-star!

>> Feeling insecure?

Barricade a sliding door with a

cut-to-size broomstick security

bar.

Keep out burglars and black

magic.

>> [Bleep] Let me in!

>> All-star!

>> Way to stick it to 'em,

broomstick.

You truly are a hack all-star.

>> You don't have anything that

will get this off, do you?

>> We go undercover to put your

sharpest marker-removing hacks

to the test.

>> Oh, yeah. Look at that.

This is totally working its

magic.

>> And prepare to get wet and

wild, as we attempt our

trashiest hack yet.

>> You ever lit a dumpster on

fire before?

>> Come on.

We all went to elementary

school.

[ Chuckles ]

>> Sometimes ordinary people do

extraordinary things, all in the

name of hacking.

Oh, dear.

It looks like the end of the

world is upon us, and it's up to

Nick to save the human race.

No need to panic, because he is

a hack hero!

With a pack of flesh-eating

zombies hot on his heels, Nick

Springs into action.

To secure his new hideout, Nick

lays a trap using bubble wrap.

That way, the popping sound will

alert him to any unwanted

undead.

Wait. Are there wanted undead?

It's time for Nick to light a

fire.

Damn! Looks like the zombies

aren't the only thing that's

dead around here.

But a broken lighter won't hold

this hero back.

By grinding the flint from his

lighter onto a tissue and

sparking the tissue to ignite

it, Nick hacks his way to heat.

Now to check for signs of life.

Using aluminum foil and

crocodile clips, he connects the

positive and negative ends of

the drill's battery terminal to

an old radio.

Then he ties a whisk to a

crowbar to create a hand crank.

And that way, he can generate

just enough juice to power his

radio.

>> If anybody can hear this, we

have a camp two miles north of

the city.

We have food.

>> Survivors?

[ Bubble wrap popping ]

But wait!

Not the bubble-wrap alarm.

To investigate the noise, Nick

hacks together a flashlight.

He tapes two "d" batteries

together and uses a paper clip

to connect the positive and

negative ends.

He holds a light bulb to the

paper clip.

And -- kapow!

The room brightens in a flash.

[ Glass shatters ]

Watch out!

Looks like a zombie broke

through, and he's hungry for a

Nick-night

using a balloon, an empty pen,

and some skewers, Nick whips

together a homemade arrow

launcher.

>> [ Growls ]

[ Arrow thuds ]

Looks like the pen is truly

mightier than the sword.

[ Zombies moaning ]

Oh, come on. For real?

More zombies?

Well, fear not, citizens.

Nick's not gonna let those

brain-binging bastards hold him

back, because he is a hack hero.

>> [ Screaming ]

[ Scuffling, zombies screaming ]

[ Whip! ]

[ Laughter ]

>> Do you need to adjust

something?

>> All right, Kevin.

On your Mark.

>> So, I was hanging out with a

friend, and I had 12 too many.

Went ahead and passed out and

woke up with this.

[ Laughs sarcastically ]

That's why I'm on the streets

with a bunch of hidden

cameras -- to find out if

anybody will lend me a hack.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Do you guys have anything that

will get marker off of an arm?

>> Uh...

>> No?

Miss, you don't have anything

that will get this off, do you?

No? Great.

Thank you so much.

[ Groans ]

Thanks so much, Brooke.

"Have another shot," she says.

Sir, do you have two seconds?

See, here's the thing.

I know it's random.

I need to get this off my arm.

Do you have anything in there

that can help?

>> Will water get permanent

marker off of skin?

[ "Charge!" plays ]

All right, I'll give I a try.

All right.

What am I -- just smudge it

around, smear it around?

Okay, that made the situation a

little worse.

Thank you for stopping.

I'll give you that back.

[ Buzzer ]

You guys wouldn't happen to have

anything to get this off, would

you?

That looks like I was

finger-painting and just

couldn't control myself.

No. It's smeared.

It made it worse.

Excuse me.

I need to get this off.

Do you have anything?

Okay. Just what's in this thing?

Do you think an eraser might

work?

Okay.

Let's give that a try, right?

[ "Charge!" plays ]

Oh, that feels great.

Ah.

It's working because it's

ripping off my flesh.

Aah! That's a lot more pain than

it is a result.

I feel like this kind of ruined

my forearm and your eraser.

This is a...

She'll totally believe the

story.

[ Buzzer ]

Miss, do you have anything I can

use to get the ink off of my

arm?

Do you have anything?

I'm desperate.

No, no.

That's what got me into this in

the first place.

What is that there?

Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

[ "Charge!" plays ]

That scent reminds me of her.

Stings a bit.

Not gonna lie.

Oh, yeah.

Look at that.

This is totally working this

magic.

This is breaking it up.

I can see it running.

But you think I can use the tea

bag?

Oh, my god.

That is actually working.

Look at this.

The ink is gone.

And I think the perfume has a

high alcohol content, and that's

what got it off my arm.

Thank you.

I can't believe that worked.

Perfume is a hack!

I did not think I'd be saying

that today, but look at this.

This thing is nice and clean and

clear.

It's amazing.

Thank...

Thank you.

Perfume's a hack.

[ Bell ringing ]

>> Coming up, we put your best

nail-Polish-removing hacks to

the tumblr test.

>> Yeah, this wasn't your color.

>> No.

>> And it's the moment you've

all been waiting for.

We attempt our most terrifying

hack yet.

>> What's it look like?

>> Something winked at me from

the bottom.

[ Film projector clicking ]

>> The lawn mower -- annoyer of

neighbors, destroyer of soccer

balls.

But did you also know it was a

hack from history?

Young mechanic

Edwin beard budding repairs

machinery at a textile mill.

It's a horrible job.

One day, he sees a bladed

cross-cutting machine cutting

stray fibers from wool.

>> Oi! What if them fibers was

grass and the machine was on the

lawn, mowing the grass, all nice

like.

>> Edwin attaches wheels and a

handle to the cross-cutter, and,

in an act ofshear

lawn mower is born!

Edwin blazes through his

yardwork, while his neighbors

are left using scythes like a

bunch of sweaty grim reapers.

Fast-forward to 1940,

warrensburg, Missouri.

Inventor Leonard goddall tires

of mowing his lawn with a

spinning cyllinder.

He adds an engine and a twirling

blade.

>> What could be safer?

I think teenagers should use

this.

>> It's a design still used

today to keep sexually

frustrated teen boys focused on

something useful.

>> Hey, Timmy. Looking good.

>> The lawn mower -- a truly

cutting-edge hack from history.

>> Oh, lordy.

[ Groans ]

It has been a wild season of

"hack my life."

But through it all, we've kept

on hacking for you, dear viewer.

But today's all about me.

I'm talking some r&r, chilling

poolside with my girl Brooke.

Hey, Bo.

>> How much longer, kev?

>> Well, we're almost done.

See, that is a hot-tub dumpster,

and this is hack or wack?

>> Kevin, this is a dumpster,

and, uh, it's where garbage goes

to die.

>> Okay, those are all words

you're saying, but it's also a

celebration of an amazing year

together.

What better gift could I give

you than that of a dumpster hot

tub?

>> If anything, it's a dumpster

filled with ice-cold water, so

I'm curious, how do you turn

this into an actual hot tub?

>> I have the solution right

here.

Boom!

Yeah, it is a grill.

There's your heating element.

>> Really?

>> Yeah!

>> Wait. So, wait.

How do we not cook ourselves

alive like lobsters?

>> Ah.

See? Safety first, Brooke.

This hot-tub dumpster has been

lined with plywood.

We patched all the holes with

plastic, and we added a layer of

insulating foam that will keep

the heat in once it arrives, and

it will protect our toesies from

getting toasted.

>> Oh, boy. I can't wait.

You ever lit a dumpster on fire

before?

>> Come on.

We all went to elementary

school.

[ Chuckles ]

Get some lighter fluid going.

Phew!

That's a hot one.

>> Yeah.

>> So, this is an excellent heat

source.

But you can grill on that bad

boy and cook up some meat.

Oh, this is perfect.

>> How long is it gonna take to

heat this thing up?

>> Teeny, tiny heat source, 600

gallons of water in here, so it

should take approximately

forever.

>> Oh.

>> Splash!

>> What's it look like?

>> Uh, it looks a little...

Greener than I thought it would.

>> Huh.

>> Something winked at me from

the bottom.

>> All right, quit stalling.

Get in.

>> Sorry, morty.

There's not enough room for both

of us.

Ahh!

That's surprisingly refreshing.

>> Really?

>> Brooke, it's like 90 degrees

in here.

Right?

>> Yeah.

>> Huh?

>> Okay.

>> Whoo!

Dumpster party!

Want to have a race?

[ Laughing ] Oh!

So much room for partying.

>> Whoops. [ Laughs ]

This is the stupidest thing

we've ever done.

>> Whoo!

>> Oh, my god!

It's hack freak and

graphite man.

>> That's who you invited?

>> Yeah. Everybody came.

Hey, guys.

>> Hey, you.

[ Whistle! ]

>> Time for some dumpster

action.

Toasty.

>> Isn't it, though?!

Here's to dumpster hot tubs.

Am I right?

[ Glasses clink ]

>> Huzzah.

>> Wouldn't be the first time I

hung out in a dumpster.

>> I'm having a good time.

I would even round it up to a

great time.

But we have a very important

responsibility, and that is to

determine is the dumpster

hot tub hack or wack?

Hack freak?

>> I think it's totally freaky,

and I think it's a total hack.

>> Graphite man?

>> Well, I don't know.

I haven't had this much fun in a

wet trash can in years.

I'm gonna go with hack.

>> You know I think it's a hack.

>> Yeah?

>> Anytime there's dumpster

play, I'm signing up.

So, bvp?

>> You know, I...

It's... [ groans ]

[ Tink! ]

>> This hot tub gets more and

more uncomfortable.

>> [ Laughs ]

It's a hack.

I'll just say it.

>> What?!

Hot tub dumpster is a hack.

There you go, folks.

If you want to put in some time

and energy, you can have

yourself a hot tub.

>> Coming up, we pinky-promise

to find the best hack for

removing nail Polish.

>> Whoo!

>> All-star, baby!

>> Tumblr's hack mail is up

next.

>> [Bleep] Is gone!

>> [ Groans ]

This nail-Polish color is not

working for me, and it has got

to go.

>> Boy, I feel you, sister.

Unfortunately, I don't have any

nail-Polish remover.

>> That's bogus.

>> Yeah.

Look, it happens to the best of

us, even the folks at home.

That's why they sent in their

hacks for removing nail Polish.

We're gonna test them out right

now.

In tumblr's hack mail.

>> Hack number one comes from

Jillian m. From bangor, Maine.

She writes...

>> This could work.

I mean, you can use vinegar to

clean many, many things.

Let's see if it can get the

Polish off.

Well, now, here we go.

And doesit burn at all?

>> No, no, no.

>> Okay.

>> Just smells like fish and

chips.

>> [ Sniffs ] Oh.

Is it doing anything?

>> No.

>> Literally not a single speck.

Moving on to the next hack,

please.

>> Yes. Hack number 2 comes to

us from Paige h.

Paige writes...

>> I don't even understand what

it would be in spray deodorant

that will remove nail Polish.

>> I don't know.

The warnings on this are "avoid

spraying into the eyes.

Do not use on broken skin."

This one's great.

In all caps, "ask a doctor

before using if you have kidney

disease."

>> So let's put it on my finger.

>> Great.

>> Get some of this. Phew!

>> Spritzity spray.

>> Yeah. Give it a nice blast.

>> Oh! Phew!

>> Phew. It smells like puberty.

>> Yeah! High school's flashing

back at me.

>> Get in there.

>> Rubbing away.

Ta-da!

Nothing.

>> Yeah. I say we move on to our

next hack.

>> Okay.

[ Glass shatters ]

>> Last, but not least, Kathy g.

Says...

>> Fighting fire with fire.

I feel like all you're doing at

that point is sealing it in,

right?

>> Yeah.

>> Well, look, we got to try it.

Can't be any worse than

deodorant.

>> I'm just gonna use a clear

nail-Polish topcoat and paint

over the nail.

Let's just get that on there.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> Okay!

>> Scrubbity, scrub.

Oh.

Oh!

What the [bleep]

Are you [bleep] seeing this?!

Whoo!

All-star, baby!

Yeah!

It's gone! The [bleep] gone!

[Bleep] Is gone!

Explain that away, huh?

Science.

>> Wonder if there's something

in the Polish.

>> Oh.

Ethyl acetate is a solvent.

When you're putting on regular

nail Polish, it will bind the

Polish to the nail.

>> Aw.

>> So now what it's doing is

it's binding itself to that

topcoat of nail Polish, so when

you're scrubbing, it's still

wet, so it's just pulling off

whatever it's bound to.

>> How do you know all this,

kev?

>> Well, I read the scripts.

>> Good answer.

>> Mind blown.

>> Mind blown.

>> Let's declare it.

Let's make it official.

>> Kathy g.'S nail Polish to

remove nail Polish gets our

hack seal of approval!

>> If you're watching this and

you're thinking, "man, I'd like

my hacks to get on the show,

it's very simple.

Go to...

Send us your hacks, and we'll

test them out right here on the

show.

>> Yeah, this wasn't your color.

>> No.

You liking those pool noodles?

>> Yeah. It's great.

>> You know, they were an

all-star in season one.

>> Oh, you don't say?

>> No, I do, 'cause you can use

them to keep your boots upright,

like in a closet.

>> Oh. Or protect your car door.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

>> Stop a child from falling out

of a bed.

>> Oh, my gosh.

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