Original subtitles

>> Do you wish you looked like

you had more hair?

>> Always.

>> What about you?

>> Sure!

>> And you?

>> [Bleep] Off.

>> Then you need the hack club

for men.

>> Awesome!

Specializes in hiding your bald

spot using household items,

like shoe Polish...

Cocoa powder...

Or your own beard shavings!

Call now, and we'll tell you how

to apply these products with

hair spray to make them stick.

So, stop looking like you don't

have hair and, instead, start

looking like you might.

>> Thanks, hack club for men!

♪♪♪

>> Tonight...

>> Ohh!

>> ...on "hack my life"...

>> I feel like a lady.

>> Me too.

>> ...prepare to be shocked and

awed by our life-saving hacks.

>> Ah! Okay!

>> We show you how to get extra

mileage out of your bike chain.

>> Plus, learn how to hack back

the clock with these age-defying

tricks.

>> Ohh!

>> And turn olive oil into soap

with a hack that'll arouse the

senses.

>> Smells amazing.

>> Good.

>> The soap does, too.

>> [ Laughs ]

This is "hack my life."

♪♪♪

You ever start a diy project,

and then you realize, "oh, these

screws won't fit, and I don't

have any of those little plastic

anchor thingies"?

Not to get too technical.

>> Yeah, and then you get going,

and you're like, "whoops,

wrong-sized drill.

I destroyed your wall."

>> Exactly. Well, don't worry.

We can help you save your walls

and your pride in today's

hack vs. Hack.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Hack vs. Hack is going down.

I'll be using toothpicks.

>> Yeah.

I'm using chewing gum.

>> And hopefully these will take

the place of traditional wall

anchors.

>> We're just gonna hang up a

shelving unit, and then we're

gonna put them to the test.

It's not rude to chew gum and

host, right?

>> Just put it in the hole,

please.

>> So, I got my gum ready to go.

It's like putty.

Beautiful. Look at that.

>> Yeah, that's anchored pretty

nicely.

>> Yeah, it is.

>> I don't know.

Let's give it a go.

>> How does this even work?

>> I'm gonna put the screw into

the wall.

>> Okay.

>> And then you're anchoring

them with the toothpicks.

You're just gonna create less

space for the screw to move.

And I guess you can put in as

many as you want until you get

the amount of tension that you

need.

>> Okay.

My hack was way more delicious.

I can tell you that much.

>> Yeah.

All right, now, what we're gonna

do is add weight to each of

these shelves to see which hack

holds up the longest.

Childhood memories here.

I'm gonna go ahead and just pop

them right on there.

Look at this beautiful baby boy.

>> Aww. Look at baby Kevin.

>> You're gonna win a

hack vs. Hack someday.

>> I'm a little nervous about my

shelf.

>> Are you?

You don't think the toothpicks

are gonna hold?

Oh!

>> [ Sighs ]

>> [ Groans ]

>> Okay.

>> Even she's unsure.

Well, I know that I'm just such

a little winner.

Even little old me gets a little

trophy 'cause he's so good!

>> I'm gonna put my favorite

cassette.

>> Just one of them?

>> Just one.

>> 'Cause I like to take a stack

of cassettes and put them right

on there.

One book up here and another

book over here and...

>> Well, I'm gonna go ahead and

be a little smug and put up a

"congratulations" mug for my

victory.

>> Little smug mug there.

[ Shelf creaks ]

Okay! Did you hear that?

>> Yep.

>> I've played kerplunk once or

twice.

That's the sound of danger.

>> Whew!

This is shelf jenga, for sure.

>> Okay, well, let's add some

more weight.

These little trucks and this

little egg -- I'm gonna go ahead

and get these bad boys on there.

Oh! Easy, buddy.

Those are great.

>> Old polaroids.

>> Yeah.

Well, I could snap a photo of

you when you lose this

challenge, which might be right

when you put that on the shelf.

>> So...

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> [ Smooches ]

Pièce De résistance.

A young Kevin should come up

here and admire his handiwork.

Who knew he loved gum at such an

early age?

And now he gets to enjoy it.

>> That's a lovely shelf.

Great with decorating.

>> You're so supportive, just

like my shelf.

Ah! Ah!

>> Okay, that didn't work.

>> Okay! That was loud.

>> Whew!

>> That was aggressive.

>> Yikes.

>> So close, but so clear.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Another hack vs. Hack in the

books, and if you don't have any

drywall anchors handy and you

can't screw into a stud, reach

for the chewing gum.

>> Hey, can you say "screw into

a stud" on television?

>> Probably not the way you just

said it, no.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah.

♪♪♪

>> Scraping the bottom of the

barrel is not just for dating

anymore.

You can scrape the bottom of the

barrel to hack together a

delicious meal.

>> Ooh!

>> So, come on, you slobs.

Let's exert little to no effort.

Look at these sad, boring, plain

noodles.

Well, we're gonna spice them up

with a peanut satay.

What you need first and foremost

is a mostly empty jar of peanut

butter.

>> Ahh!

>> I have a lot of those lying

around...because I'm an

emotional eater.

Next you'll need some soy sauce.

Tread lightly with this just

because there's a lot of sodium,

which I don't have a problem

with.

I love salt.

Do you ever eat so much salt you

go up a cup size?

Anyways...

[ Laughter ]

Next you need some ground

ginger.

Go lightly with this one, as

well.

It is surprisingly spicy.

And some chopped garlic.

It smells awesome.

Put the lid on and shake it --

unh! -- Like you're angry.

Think of someone you hate and

just be like, "unh!"

You're shredding!

I'm getting so ripped shaking

this.

>> Aah!

♪♪♪

Yes.

This looks really, really good.

Mix it.

Last step -- shovel it into your

pie hole.

Oh. Okay. Mm-hmm.

Oh, I can feel my boobs getting

bigger.

And who would have known that

you could have gotten all of

this from your little hacked

peanut butter jar?

Who's ready for dessert?

Get this out of my face.

[ Bowl shatters ]

>> Ohh!

>> Sometimes a household item is

so useful, it ascends into the

pantheon of great hacking tools.

Today we celebrate one that's

truly become a hack all-star --

twist ties.

Sure, they keep your bread

fresh, but these tiny twist ties

can do so much more.

Hey, nerds, glasses lost their

screw?

Just use a twist tie as a

temporary fix.

Strip it down to the wire,

thread through the screw hole,

twist, and enjoy the gift of

sight again.

>> All-star.

>> Make a recycled garden

trellis.

By securing old six-pack

containers together with twist

ties, you'll help your garden

vines grow, and you'll save a

few baby seals in the process.

>> All-star.

>> Keep ear buds from becoming a

tangled mess by wrapping them

into a coil and securing them

with a twist tie.

>> Cool bag, bro.

>> All-star.

>> Want to hide your bra for a

racerback shirt?

Use a twist tie to make an

instant bra strap.

Sayonara, unsightly straps.

>> All-star.

>> During the holidays, twist

ties are like Santa's little

helpers, keeping ornaments

securely on the tree.

>> All-star.

>> Broken clasp on your pet

cage?

Use a twist tie to keep the door

securely closed.

Even puppies can't deny the

power of the twist tie.

[ Dog barking ]

>> All-star.

>> Strong and flexible, ready

for anything, the twist tie has

proven itself a worthy all-star.

You how to glide into your

golden years with grace.

And...

>> There it goes!

>> ...Kevin and his lumberjack

friend test a hack that's off

the chain.

>> That was satisfying. O0 c1

[ dramatic music playing ]

>> Sometimes ordinary people do

extraordinary things all in the

name of hacking.

Take Sophie.

She's no ordinary Nana.

She hacks the most out of her

golden years because she's a...

With a few simple hacks and the

help of her tasty trainer,

Thomas, Sophie gets her daily

workout in.

To start, Thomas brings Sophie

her secret weapon -- a chair!

Jumping geriatrics!

Sophie's doing double duty,

using her chair to modify

aerobic moves, while keeping

them low-impact.

This workout is the total

package.

>> [ Wolf-whistles ]

>> Next Sophie brings out the

big guns.

She uses soup cans are free

weights and bulks up her bingo

arms on a budget.

Mm-mmm, good!

[ Laughing ] Ho, ho!

What have we here?

>> [ Sighs ]

>> Looks like bachelor Burt from

next door has joined the ladies

for lunch.

Sophie's arthritis means

tackling utensils can be tricky.

She battles the burden by

slipping old hair curlers over

her silverware and wrapping

rubber bands around her drinking

glass, giving her super-gripping

power.

>> [ Sighs ]

>> Look out, Burt.

Tonight's a big night for our

super senior because she's got a

hot date.

To avoid struggling with her

zipper, Sophie uses a key ring

for easy access.

That should come in handy later.

Finally, by clamping an l.E.D.

Light to her cane, Sophie is

sure to light up the room

wherever she goes.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Oh, looks like tasty Thomas has

made a triumphant return.

Look out, citizens.

There's a cougar on the prowl.

>> Ooh!

>> Meow!

Good hacking never gets old,

and that's why Sophie is a

hack hero!

[ Triumphant music playing ]

♪♪♪

>> [ Grunts ] You know me.

I love flannel and ripped

muscles and working outdoors.

But what do you do when you

don't have your manly saw?

In this hacksperiment.

Saw, and by "we," I mean i'm

gonna supervise Zeke.

Zeke, what's up, man?

>> Hey, man. How's it going?

[ Bones crunch ]

Ohh.

>> Okay. Yep.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Just two dudes being dudes.

So, Zeke, you've used a saw

before.

>> Ever used a bike chain as a

saw?

>> Absolutely not.

>> I want to see if you can put

it to the task.

>> Okay.

>> Sound good?

>> Yeah, yeah.

>> To build your bike chain saw,

first remove a length from your

bike chain to create two

separate ends.

Voilà.

It's like taking of a necklace.

Then wrap each end with duct

tape and attach your bike

handles.

And there we go.

My prison jump rope is complete.

Now it's time to put it to the

test.

We're gonna start with cardboard

and then keep dialing it up,

until either the bike chain saw

or Zeke breaks.

Zeke, I'm gonna start you off

with cardboard.

You excited? You nervous?

I can't see anything bad

happening to me, so I'm pretty

calm.

>> Look at that.

>> Oh, like butter, baby!

Whoo!

>> Oh, that's great.

>> Look at that.

>> That's not so bad.

>> Now, I know some people are

seeing that, and they're like,

"wait a minute.

That's just cardboard."

But, I mean, this is like...

It's real tough stuff. I mean...

>> Yeah. Double duty.

>> And if someone loosens it up

for you, it's like a jar.

>> Uh-huh.

A hardcover book.

I've got my doubts.

>> Well, there are a lot of real

long words in that [bleep] so

tear it up.

>> Ah, something's happening.

>> Yep, yeah, my shoulders are

giving out.

That's what's happening, Zeke.

>> [ Laughs ]

Slow go.

>> I could have actually re-read

the book in the time that it's

taken to cut it, but this is

fine.

>> Ah!

>> Now we've got a book that you

can handle.

>> This is the Twitter version.

We've successful upset

librarians everywhere.

It's time to break out the big

guns and see if this could

really be a survivalist hack.

Zeke, do you think we could get

through that?

It looks like oak, which is

pretty well-known as hard,

Hardy, tough.

>> Let's give it a whirl.

>> Here we go.

>> All you.

There it goes!

We're gonna start a forest fire!

And I'm seeing some sawdust, or

I'm seeing little particles fly

off, but -- all right, should we

see if that's doing it?

And there we got a nice little

groove right through the bark,

but do you think we're actually

making our way through it?

>> Well, the oak's a lot harder

than the bark.

>> I think it's just diminishing

returns at this point.

>> We might have found its

limits.

>> I think so. At least mine.

[ Both laugh ]

>> So, what's the takeaway from

all this?

Well, in a pinch, a bike chain

can slash through cardboard and

even a hardcover book if you

have the time.

But if you're trying to fell a

tree, you're better off biking

to a hardware store.

And it helps to have a Zeke

handy 'cause that looked like a

lot of work.

>> Yeah. I'm sweating now.

>> [ Laughs ]

Hit me, Angela, as hard as you

can.

>> Hit you?

>> I live out my "fight club"

fantasies with a soap maker.

>> And we put your neatest rib

hacks to the test in

tumblr's hack mail.

It's rib-eatin' time! O0 c1

>> Viagra -- man's best friend,

Bob dole's favorite snack.

But did you also know it was

a hack from history?

Scientists at pfizer test a new

medication for heart disease.

And it's not going great.

>> Ugh!

[ Glass breaking ]

But just when everyone's hopes

are down, something Springs up

and stays up...For several

hours.

And so Viagra, the wonder pill,

is born...

Which brings us to today.

Viagra is still the most

prescribed erectile-dysfunction

drug on the market.

Everyone from grandpa to grandma

gets pleasure from the pill.

[ Glass breaking ]

Now try to erase that picture

from your mind.

Hack from history!

♪♪♪

>> The first rule of soap club

is you do not talk about

soap club!

Angela, I want you to hit me.

>> Hit you?

>> Hit me, Angela, as hard as

you can.

Thank you.

Today we're making soap with

Angela.

When did you actually get into

making soap?

>> I started making soap

16 years ago.

>> So, this is something that

anybody can get into.

>> Yes, there are lots of

everyday things you can find

around the house to make that

soap.

>> Let's make some soap!

>> Let's do it.

>> All right, what do we need?

>> 15 ounces of olive oil.

Coconut and the palm oil.

>> Okay.

>> So, I'm gonna melt it down

in the pan.

>> How do we properly hack a bar

of soap to give it an amazing

scent, to give it some color?

Tablespoon of paprika.

That's gonna heat up.

Now we need to goggle up and

glove up.

>> What are we wearing the

goggles and the gloves for?

Because soap, to me, seems safe.

>> Soap is made with lye, which

is sodium hydroxide.

It will burn you.

Water...

>> Okay.

>> ...4.2 ounces of lye.

Now we're gonna mix that in the

water that we just weighed.

>> There's steam coming out of

this thing now.

>> Now we have to get our molds

up.

You can use anything as a soap

mold.

Today we're going to use a

potato-chip container and a

juice box.

>> 'Cause you probably have

those around your house, right?

>> Exactly.

Pour the melted coconut and palm

oil into the olive oil.

>> You got it.

>> And let's take out my

handy-dandy stick blender.

And I'm gonna pour the lye in,

and you're gonna make soap.

>> Oh.

[ Romantic music playing ]

[ Sniffs ]

Smells amazing.

>> Good.

>> The soap does, too.

>> [ Laughs ]

You said your husband travels

a lot?

>> Yes, he does.

>> Must get lonely.

>> I do. [ Giggles ]

>> He's gonna murder me, isn't

he?

>> He will, yes.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> [ Laughs ]

>> Okay, so, now let's pour the

soap into the potato-chip mold.

>> All right.

This one still blows my mind,

that you can just pour it right

in there.

>> And this will make a really

cute bar of soap.

It'll take four weeks before

that soap is ready.

It needs to cure.

>> All right, well, let's see

what that looks like.

Let's assume, through the

miracle of television...

>> Mm-hmm.

>> ...that four weeks have

passed.

We're gonna get something like

this?

>> That's exactly what we're

gonna get something like.

>> I'm just gonna pop it out of

the juice box here.

>> Oh, look at that.

>> Okay, there you go.

>> How much do you think this

bar cost to make?

>> With the ingredients that we

made, probably less than $1.

>> Really?

>> Yeah.

>> That thing peeled right off.

>> You can make a beautiful bar.

You hacked together the

ingredients.

You hacked together the

containers.

You sort of hacked your way to a

ton of savings -- the fact that

you could spend a handful of

pennies and make soap that would

cost 20, 30 bucks -- that's

incredible.

And I really appreciate you

taking the time to share it with

us.

>> I'm glad to be here, Kevin.

>> Angela -- she is a hackspert.

>> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> Coming up...

Super tasty.

...we give you an excuse to play

with your food.

>> What are you doing?

>> Tumblr's hack mail is up

next. O0 c1

>> mmm! Mmm!

That is delicious!

>> Mmm!

>> I just wouldn't eat these on

a date, if I were you.

>> Well, the good news is, I

don't have those.

But what I do have are some

really great Internet friends

who tell me how to do everything

better, including eating ribs.

Is the easiest to use and which

leaves the least amount of sauce

in and around our person.

>> Let's get to it.

Our first submission comes from

Susan k., who says...

>> The reason she wants you to

cut the fingers off the glove

instead of wearing the entire

glove is that this is gonna help

you avoid the sweats.

Oh, I should have labeled these.

I'm getting confused.

>> I am, too. Wait. What?

Oh, no. All right.

Enough with the condom fingers.

It's rib-eatin' time!

Unh...

>> I'm having no problem

gripping the bone here.

>> Yeah, the rubber's actually

giving you a little extra

traction and grip.

When you eat them as fast as I

do, you're going to need that.

>> Let's go ahead and take these

bad boys off.

>> All right.

>> You're just gonna let

gravity...

>> Yep.

>> Oh, okay.

>> Go for it.

>> Okay.

>> I mean, this is definitely

tedious.

>> With that said, kept my

fingers clean.

>> Yeah.

>> Sweet Sally Jones from

huntsville, Alabama, writes...

>> I think the challenge here is

to not make a mess while you're

trying to jam it into the end of

the ribs.

>> Right.

>> Otherwise, what's the point?

You may as well get your hands

dirty.

Ugh. Oh, oh, wait.

>> It's kind of hard to do.

So, if I want this to work

effectively, I'm gonna have to

pick it up with my fingers,

which is the whole thing we're

trying to avoid.

Yourself.

>> So, this is what you're

trying to accomplish, but you

can't do it without getting your

hand absolutely filthy.

>> So uncivilized.

>> Our final rib hack.

Bruce m. Writes...

>> Ooh.

I'm hopping to one of these guys

right here.

>> Okay. I mean --

>> play it like a meat

harmonica.

Mm-mmm!

>> I just see clean hands and a

lot of meat that's about to go

in my face.

I feel like a lady.

>> Me too.

Let's go through it, starting

with the little finger gloves.

>> Okay.

>> An odd amount of prep time.

>> I also find it to be a little

wasteful.

>> I did, however, think it was

incredibly effective.

>> Now, the corncob holders --

those were a disaster.

>> Yeah.

>> First of all, you're probably

gonna stab yourself in your own

bone instead of the rib bone.

>> Last but certainly not least,

the chip clip.

This was as plug-and-play as it

gets.

>> I was a big fan.

>> Once you have the ribs

detached from each other,

super easy.

Listen, we only have one seal to

give, so I defer to you.

>> Really?

>> Absolutely.

>> I'm going chip clip.

So, here's to you, Bruce m.

You get our hack seal of

approval.

>> If you want to see your hacks

on this show, it is, oh, so

easy.

Hackmylifetrutv.tumblr.com, send

us your ideas, and we'll eat

them.

>> You got a --

>> you got a --

>> you got a --

>> where? Here?

>> Yeah.

>> Did I get it?

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