Original subtitles

>> Tripp goodwin says he's

fiscally responsible.

But he spent over $20 on a lemon

squeezer that he only uses for

squeezing lemons.

Aren't the American taxpayers

being squeezed enough, Tripp?

Chase Maxwell squeezes his

lemons with kitchen tongs that

he already had in his kitchen

drawer.

That's the kind of

resourcefulness that Washington

desperately needs.

So, come election day, who are

you going to choose --

the guy who spends your money to

juice his lemons?

Or chase Maxwell, who thinks

outside the box?

America, the choice is yours.

Paid for by citizens for

chase Maxwell and citrus fruits.

>> Tonight on "hack my life"...

>> Aah!

>> A hack master shows you how

to control the human brain.

>> Oh!

>> [ Laughs ]

>> I want my arm back.

>> Plus...

>> Homemade "hack my life"

makeup.

>> Maybe she's born with it, or

maybe it's crayon.

>> Let us hack your face!

>> Golfing hacks to help you go

pro.

>> And...

>> Oh!

>> ...waterproof your world with

the help of bees.

>> We've really angered the gods

now.

>> This is "hack my life."

>> Do you have a favorite pair

of sneakers that aren't allowed

out on a rainy day?

[ Baby voice ] Mommy loves you,

but she hates wet feet more.

Yes, she does.

>> Aww.

Let's waterproof those little

babies.

It's time for a hacksperiment.

>> You're gonna need a pair of

shoes that have a porous

material, sort of like canvas,

so that the beeswax can melt

into it using this hair dryer

over here.

>> Now, why beeswax?

This is like the -- the duct

tape of history.

Like, Egyptians were using the

stuff, and that's why it's

perfect for waterproofing a

shoe.

>> Okay.

Let's waterproof a shoe.

We'll waterproof one shoe and

leave one as our control.

Test.

>> And you can't use too much at

this phase.

Once you melt it, you're gonna

be golden.

>> Okay.

You can see it building up now.

>> That's pretty coated, right?

>> That's definitely coated.

>> Now we just shoot the

hair dryer at it until it melts.

I can already see it melting,

Brooke!

>> What?!

>> I can already see it melting!

To dubstep and cutting into a

montage.

[ Mimics dubstep music ]

Extreme shoe drying!

[ Mimics dubstep music ]

[ Whirring stops ]

Done.

>> Done and done.

Now what?

I think you should throw these

on your feet and we should get

you wet.

>> Naturally.

Gun.

So, do you feel it absorbing?

The UN-waterproofed shoe is

definitely soaking through.

My foot's wet right now.

>> Okay.

Now let's try the waterproof

shoe.

>> Whoo! Rolling right off.

>> You can see it splashing off.

Waterproof shoe -- look at this.

It's beading up.

That is amazing!

>> Beaded right up.

>> Yeah.

Let's raise the stakes a little.

Ahh!

Shall we?

>> All right.

>> Test number two -- a pitcher.

>> Oh.

>> Bottom's up.

>> Okay.

Oh, no!

>> Aw.

>> That looked like that soaked

right up.

>> I'm soaked.

>> Yep.

>> Let's try the waterproofed

shoe!

Okay. It's -- it's working.

It's a giant "[Bleep] you" to

nature.

>> Whoa.

Ooh!

>> It's like, "that's all you

got?"

>> I am 100% satisfied with the

results, so, we can call it a

hacksperiment.

>> Well, so far, yes, but it's

time to take it to the next

level, which is a nice puddle

jump.

>> This isn't about the shoes

anymore, is it?

>> No.

No, it hasn't been since the

beginning, actually.

Pool.

>> I don't want -- [ Whimpers ]

>> Baby's got to leap.

Yeah, yeah. Come on.

Oh, it's like baby's first

steps.

Come on. Get 'em wet.

Yeah!

Then that's it.

She's out.

And...?

>> Both of my feet are soaked

'cause the water went into my

shoe.

>> Right.

>> The insides aren't

waterproofed, kev.

>> Right.

>> [ Sighs ]

>> So, Brooke.

What did we learn in our little

hacksperiment today?

>> Well, I think the takeaway is

that beeswax worked in minor

wetness situations.

>> Sorry. What?

>> Never mind.

>> It's really opening up,

Brooke.

I can't hear you.

>> Never mind.

>> We've really angered the gods

now.

Hacksperiment!

>> Would you know what to use to

hack your way out of a jam?

Let's find out in today's pop

quiz.

>> Oh, no, no, no.

>> So, you thought you'd try on

your roommate's engagement ring.

>> I couldn't resist.

It's so sparkly.

[ Chuckles ]

>> Hey!

Focus up.

There's a hack nearby that can

help you get that ring off in a

jiffy.

Can you guess which one of these

you need?

"B," a nail file,

"c," dental floss,

or "d," a hacksaw?

>> Is it...The hacksaw?

>> Cool it, klepto.

The answer is "c," dental floss.

Here's how it works.

Just take a long piece of floss

and wrap it tightly around your

finger until you reach the ring.

Once your finger is totally

wrapped, thread some of the

floss under the ring and start

to unwind the floss back down

your finger.

The ring will easily corkscrew

right off your digit.

De-blinged your ring finger.

And your roommate will be none

the wiser.

>> Hey, Lindsey, have you seen

my ring?

>> Oh, yeah.

It's right over here.

Thank you, pop quiz lady.

>> Hey!

They don't call me

Brooke Van pop-quiz for nothing.

[ Boing! Boing! Boing! ]

>> Sometimes, a household item

is so useful it ascends into the

pantheon of great hacking tools.

Today, we celebrate one that's

truly become a hack all-star --

the old tire.

After rolling along for so many

miles, a tire still has more to

give with these hacks to put a

new spin on the wheel.

Want to expand your garden?

Give your flowers their own rest

stop with this pretty planter.

All-star.

[ Dog barks ]

Feel like teaching an old tire a

new trick?

Decorate it with spray paint,

add a cushion, and a tire

becomes a lounging spot for

sparky.

All-star.

Got kids and a big tree?

With an old tire and some chain,

you can really get a play date

swinging.

All-star.

Be king of the road or at least

king of the man cave with a

coffee table made from a tire.

All-star.

Who says cars and bikes can't

work together?

Cut a couple of old tires in

half to make a family bike rack.

All-star.

Bring the mean streets into the

backyard.

Let a tire retire as a nice,

sturdy sandbox for the kids.

All-star.

What to fool the rug rats into

thinking global warming doesn't

exist?

Spray a bunch of tires white,

take them real high, and pretend

it's frosty the snowman.

They'll never know the

difference.

All-star.

Oh, tire, you've driven off the

road and into our hearts.

Welcome to the all-star club.

Like your name's hack nicklaus.

>> Four!

>> And get luscious lips right

out of the box.

>> Ladies, want some crayons on

your face? O0 c1

>> sometimes, ordinary people do

extraordinary things, all in the

name of hacking.

Take Greg.

He wants to propose to his

girlfriend.

[ Whistle! ]

But first, he's got to win over

her father, frank.

>> Hmph.

>> Luckily, Greg is a hack hero!

Greg starts the day playing into

frank's one weakness -- scotch.

Blast!

This course doesn't allow booze.

Not to worry.

He stashes dad's special sauce

in a cleaned-out sunscreen

bottle.

This way, every hole can be the

19th.

Time to tee off.

Forgetful frank said he was

gonna bring the tees.

What a mulligan.

But Greg sees this as an

opportunity to impress dad and

play through.

By snipping a drinking straw at

a 45-degree angle, Greg

improvises a new golf tee.

Huzzah!

Hacking on the fly is a hole in

one for Greg.

Oh, no!

Frank misses so badly even his

scotch is embarrassed.

Our hero wants the old man to

play the best game that he can,

so he draws lines on frank's

gloves to help him grip the club

at just the right angle.

Bam!

Who's your caddy?

Question, Greg hurries things

along hacker style.

He adjusts a couple of screws on

the engine's governor, and

they're off!

[ Engine revs ]

Faster than a speeding golf

ball!

>> Whoa!

Thanks to Greg's good deeds,

frank is about to win the ga--

oh!

Really, frank?

Just when all hope seems lost,

Greg uses his secret weapon --

a hole in his pocket.

Greg slyly drops one of frank's

balls closer to the cup.

Son-in-law?

Am I right, frank?

Greg has conquered frank's bad

game and bad attitude.

And now he sees his chance.

He asks frank's permission to

seek his daughter's hand in

marriage.

>> Ah!

>> Well, it took some daring,

but Greg the golfer emerges

triumphant thanks to some

hacking hole in ones, proving

that Greg truly is a hack hero!

>> You guys remember crayons.

Oh, so many colors.

This is my favorite --

burnt native turquoise.

Make makeup at home.

>> Yes, but is the homemade

version as good as the real

thing?

Let's find out in today's

spot the hack.

Is very easy.

Put a microwave-safe bowl in one

inch of water.

Then melt a crayon inside the

bowl.

Some vitamin e.

>> [ High-pitched ] We're making

a witches' brew.

>> [ High-pitched ] We are

making a witches' brew.

[ Normal voice ] Then use a

syringe to add the mixture into

a plastic case.

Room temperature, then you've

got some lip gloss, my friends.

Now all we have to do is, uh,

find some people to test it out

on.

What say you?

>> Not it.

>> Homemade "hack my life"

makeup!

Come on over and try it on!

>> Let us hack your face!

>> Let us -- ooh, Kevin, that's

rough.

That's just really --

>> what?

Want to try some lip gloss?

>> No way.

>> No way.

We got a hack here, folks.

Who wants to spot it?

>> Huh?

>> Huh?

>> She does!

No?

>> Wants nothing to do with us.

>> Oh, yay, group of ladies.

>> You want to spot the hack?

>> Oh, good.

Please. Come. Join us.

Hacked some lip gloss out of

crayons.

And what you're gonna do is put

whatever color's on this row on

your top lip and whatever

color's on this row on your

bottom lip.

Which one is the hack.

[ Smooch! ]

>> So, now that it's on, do they

feel the same?

>> Yeah.

It doesn't -- it doesn't feel

different.

>> I thought the bottom was

easier to put on.

>> Okay.

>> The top, I felt, was better,

though, because it had more of a

resistance on my lip.

>> All right.

Well, the test of some really

good cosmetics is how well it

actually stays on your lips.

>> Right.

Yeah.

Your lip color all looks good.

It's staying on still.

>> And in terms of the colors,

they look pretty well matched,

considering the other came from

a box of crayons.

You can actually spot the hack

that you're wearing.

>> I'm inclined to say the

bottom.

>> Really? Okay.

>> More or less the same.

>> I think the bottom's the

crayon, 'cause it was just so

much more oily.

>> I think the top was the

crayon.

The top.

>> Top.

>> I'm gonna have to go with the

top.

>> All right.

Well, let's reveal the truth.

The bottom was the crayon.

>> What?

>> Oh, my god!

>> Ah.

>> I'm actually kind of

impressed by this hack.

Four people thought regular lip

gloss was our hacked lip gloss.

>> Maybe it's safe to say you

couldn't spot the hack.

>> Yeah, no.

I wouldn't have -- well,

clearly.

I guessed the wrong one, so...

[ Laughter ]

>> So, there you have it.

People are having a ton of

trouble spotting the hack, which

means we actually did our jobs

for once.

>> I might be wearing crayon on

my face right now.

>> Are you?

>> Yeah. Come here.

>> Ah! Gross!

>> Coming up, we hack what no

hacker's hacked before --

Kevin.

>> Oh, god!

>> And we put your juiciest

hacks to the test...

>> Oh, it's a squirter.

>> ...in tumblr's hack mail. O0

[ film projector whirring ]

♪♪♪

>> The sandwich, friend of the

lunchbox, helper to the hurried,

but did you also know it was a

hack from history?

London, england, 1765,

John montagu, a nobleman holding

the title of

the Earl of sandwich, grows

tired of eating handfuls of

loose meats while he's trying to

gamble.

>> Bring me two pieces of bread

so that I might better hold my

greasy meat without soiling my

cards.

>> Instead of getting him help

for his obvious gambling

addiction, the waitstaff fills

his order, and...

Pickle me timbers!

The first sandwich is born!

Which brings us to today.

The sandwich is so important and

powerful that our nation has

chosen it to become a

standardized unit of measure.

Delicious hack from history.

>> There's a spectrum of awesome

in this world.

On one end, you've got your

hobbyists, your enthusiasts.

Nothing wrong with them.

But on the other end, you have

your true masters.

This is my buddy, Greg Gage.

He's a neuroscientist, which is

fancy talk for way smarter than

all of us.

And today, we're gonna hack some

brains.

[ Spooky music plays ]

>> So, usually on the show, when

we feature a hack, it's

something that folks at home can

try, but when I hear "we're

gonna hack the brain," I think,

"well, we have to have a

subterranean basement next to a

nuclear silo."

Now what we've developed are

these really low-cost kits that

allow amateurs to be able to

sort of record your brain

activity and actually do things

with it.

Shooting around in the brain.

So, just by grabbing the signals

that it's sending out, we can

transfer that and transition

that into -- what?

What can we do with it?

>> We can turn on lights.

We can control motors.

We can control, you know, other

people.

>> Yes. I'm in.

Let's do it.

>> Let's do it.

>> Let's do all of those things.

So, it looks like you got a

battery, a circuit board, and

some wires.

>> Yes.

So, really, it's just an

amplifier.

So, you're gonna stick out your

arm for science.

>> Okay.

>> And then there's a little bit

of gel on here which has some

salt in there, so it's gonna

allow that electricity to come

from your body into the

electrodes.

>> Okay.

>> And then we're gonna be able

to record your activity from

your brain through your muscles

and hear what it sounds like.

You ever heard what your brain

sounds like before?

>> I di-- i-I'm not even sure

it's there.

It sounds kind of hollow.

>> Just squeeze your hand.

[ Whirring static ]

Your muscle amplifies the

signal, and you're looking at

that electricity right now.

>> That is insane.

Throughout our entire lives, we

have this electricity running

through our body, but we're just

not aware of it.

But now, you are aware of that.

>> Mm.

For the tablet, but what can I

do with my new powers?

>> Yes.

I brought in a couple of lights.

And if we plug the light into

the system, when you squeeze

your arm, we're gonna be able to

detect that brain activity and

actually make something useful

out of it.

So, go ahead and squeeze it.

>> [ Laughs ]

>> So, you can actually...

>> What?!

>> ...gradually do it and just

get this nice little...

>> [ Grunting ]

Aah!

[ Grunts ]

I don't know why I'm shouting at

the light, but I want to.

[ Exclaims ]

Simply amazing stuff, Greg.

But...uh, at the beginning, you

did say something about

controlling another human being.

And I haven't controlled another

human being, Greg.

So, when do I get to take away

someone's free will?

>> Well, I think we should take

away your free will.

>> Of course you do.

Of course you do.

>> We just need another

volunteer.

>> Ooh.

That's gonna be a tall order.

Let me see.

Who could we pick?

If only there was someone

standing to our right, holding

papers, riffling through them.

>> Hey.

>> This is for science, Jackie.

We need you.

>> [ Laughs ] Okay.

Electrodes on.

So, now we're gonna record the

electrical activity between

those muscles as you squeeze

your arm.

Jackie is now connected to you

via her muscles into your

ulnar nerve.

>> We're not even Facebook

friends, so this is really...

>> And I want you to turn away.

When she moves her arm, your arm

is gonna move without your free

will, okay?

>> Is this gonna hurt, Greg?

>> Yeah. A lot.

>> Great.

[ Laughs ]

>> So comforting.

>> Do ahead and squeeze your

arm.

>> Oh, god!

What the hell?!

What the hell?!

[ Laughter ]

I did not do that!

You did that!

Okay!

>> Relax. Relax.

So, what happens if I were to

move Jackie's hand?

>> Well, I don't know.

Does it -- is it going to hurt

like it did?

No.

>> 'Cause I have to tell my

brain to do that.

>> Oh, Jackie! Don't do that!

[ Laughter ]

>> All right.

>> We are not friends anymore,

Jackie!

>> Sorry.

>> Boy.

Greg Gage, you are a master

hacker.

Thank you, sir, for bringing the

technology here and for making

it accessible for everyone out

there.

Jackie, thank your for not

squeezing your --

oh! God! Stop!

[ Laughter ]

To get the last drop out...

>> Oh, god! Okay! Okay!

Bad idea!

>> ...next in

tumblr's hack mail. O0 c1

>> [ Groans ]

>> There are better ways to

relieve stress, you know?

>> Aah!

The only thing that's stressing

me out is trying to juice this

orange.

It's making a mess.

Look at that.

It's disgusting.

>> All right. Relax, Kevin.

People for some sweet, sweet

juicing hacks.

This is tumblr's hack mail.

Down.

We are going to test three

different juicing hacks sent to

us by the community over on

tumblr.

We're gonna see which one yields

the most juice and requires the

least amount of work.

Because, yes, we are that lazy.

>> Hack number one comes to us

from Jonathan l. In

myrtle beach.

Ow.

>> You all right?

>> Yep.

>> Okay, now that we've

fractured our hand, it's time to

get some juice.

Oh. I like that.

Keep her down.

Oh, god! Okay! Okay! Bad idea!

>> All right.

All right, all right, all right.

>> Let's see exactly how much we

got.

>> One sip of juice.

>> Yeah, that is just shy of an

ounce, Brooke.

Our second hack comes to us from

Brenda k. In Waterloo, Iowa.

"Would you like to do the

honors, Kevin?"

Oh!

Brenda, you want to watch?

[ Seductive music plays ]

This one's for you.

>> [ Chuckles ]

>> Whoo! Hot produce.

>> Whoo! Yeah.

>> The microwave's got the juice

all antsy in its pantsy.

When I give it a squeeze, it

should pop like that.

Oh. Look at that.

>> Whoa.

>> Ahh.

>> Let's see what we got here.

That's well over an ounce.

>> It is.

In fact, it's almost 1½ ounces.

Call me, Brenda.

From Edward s.

>> You may have had a little

sippy sip from one of these

guys.

You can see the bottom is

actually raised up.

And if you were to cut it off,

you'd basically have yourself a

teeny tiny orange reamer.

>> I'm excited to try this.

>> It happens to fit perfectly.

>> It gets the middle portion

out.

And it doesn't seem to be as

messy.

>> This is more contained, for

sure.

>> Now you're just kind of

mashing it, right?

>> Now I'm just mashing it.

>> Just over 1/2 ounce.

>> All right. Let's review.

It's a little dangerous.

I mean, you could lose a finger.

>> Yeah, no.

There are several reasons to

hate that hack.

>> Yeah.

>> So, how do we feel about

using a sports bottle as a

juice reamer?

>> I love the idea that it's

upcycling.

It's probably something you

already have in your house.

But it was slow, and it just

didn't yield much, so...

>> How about the microwave

orange juice hack?

>> Yeah.

It was effective.

>> The microwave gave us the

most juice.

It was pretty clean.

>> Mm.

It was bursting with flavor.

>> So, let's make it official.

Congratulations, Brenda.

You get our hack

seal of approval.

If you think this looks like a

bundle of fun, you're right!

And you can participate by going

to hackmylifetrutv.Tumblr.Com

and submit hacks today.

What is wrong with you?

>> A lot of things.

>> Kev.

Concentrate on the shoes.

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