Original subtitles

>> Are your medical bills

through the roof?

>> Are you tired of doctors

always acting like they know so

much?

>> Both: Then you need to call

Johnson & Jesses.

>> We're here to help you

overcome these injustices...

>> Both: At no cost to you.

>> Got a migraine after a car

accident?

Try drinking grape juice.

Reduce something called

serotonin levels that causes

migraines.

Understand.

>> Both: At no cost to you.

>> Burn the roof of your mouth

with hot coffee or pizza?

This makes us so mad.

Tongue and press on the affected

area to cool the pain.

>> If you've suffered a major

injury, call an actual lawyer,

but if you've suffered a minor

scrape or a low-grade ailment,

call Johnson & Jesses.

>> Both: 'Cause we're on your

side.

>> Tonight on "hack my life"...

>> You mind if I manhandle your

melon?

>> We solve all of life's

biggest problems with tiny

tools.

>> Find out how a couple magnets

could save your marriage.

>> [ Gasps ] What?

>> You won't believe how we use

these fuzzy balls.

>> And hate moving?

Well, these hacks will have you

begging for more.

>> Plus, a hack that can save

you thousands on top-shelf

booze.

>> What?

>> "Hack my life"...

Here's to a great hack.

...starts now.

>> Ever lost a ring down the

drain and thought that was

goodbye forever?

>> Oh, don't fret.

We can help you say hello again

to all of your lost bling in

this hack vs. Hack.

So, here's how this

hack vs. Hack works.

Collection of rings that we are

going to dump down our sinks.

We're then gonna go fishing for

exactly one minute, and whoever

comes up with the most treasure

will be declared the winner.

Gonna use the simple wire hanger

and turn it into the fishing

device with a hook on the end.

Make a tiny little hook, 'cause

you need it to fit down the

drain.

>> Let me show you the way the

professionals do it.

>> All right, let's see, Kevin.

I'm sure you've got a great

idea.

>> Magnets and string.

This hack won't work on really

expensive jewelry, but this

works wonders on the kind of

jewelry that I get for my

girlfriend -- the non-pure

stuff.

Fake gold is usually fortified

with copper.

That'll work just fine here.

In it.

>> My boyfriend gave me this.

Can we just --

>> oh, yeah, we can tell.

Oh, yeah, he's my kind of guy.

Mm-hmm.

Time to drop some gems.

>> Let's do this.

>> My belly-button piercing.

>> I don't.

>> I wish you never did!

Goodbye, love.

May the best hack win.

>> You might actually beat me.

Hey.

>> Okay. I just got to --

just -- okay.

3, 2, go fishin'.

You hear that?

[ Rattling ]

The no-look pass.

Oh-ho-ho!

Look at that.

>> Oh, my god!

Yes!

I got some rings.

>> Oh, look at you.

>> Ah!

>> There be treasure in these

pipes.

Mm-hmm.

This is, like, real gold, so my

magnet is useless.

Oh, no.

It's not working.

Wait. Do I have anything?

Oh, god!

>> Oh! You got a prize!

>> Oh, that's not a ring.

>> That thing has teeth.

>> Ugh.

Oh, got some more.

>> 15 seconds.

>> Got some more.

Yes!

I got two more.

Ooh, uh...

>> 5 seconds.

4, 3, 2, and that's it.

That was pretty good.

>> Not a bad haul.

>> What?!

>> This is not bad.

Hold on. Check it out.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

What do you have over there?

>> Oh, I got four.

>> Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

>> Oh, that's great.

So now we know that I lost in

two languages.

Thank you, Brooke.

>> [ Laughs ]

This hack can retrieve your

actually expensive jewelry.

>> If you have kids and they're

wearing the cheap stuff, go with

the magnets and the string.

I think it works, but not as

well in this hack vs. Hack.

You won.

Congrats to you.

You did it.

>> [ Gasps ] What?

>> Brooke Van poppelen, will you

accept this piece of fake metal

as a sign that you won the

hack vs. Hack challenge?

Take it. Just -- yeah.

You got it.

>> I do always beat you at these

hacks.

[ Breathes deeply ]

>> Sometimes a household item is

so useful, it ascends into the

pantheon of great hacking tools.

Today, we celebrate one that's

truly become a hack all-star --

the tennis ball.

Sure, they're bouncy and fun to

play with, but these balls score

big in the game of life.

Tennis balls can help a portly

pet.

With a ball in his bowl, fido

can slow down as he chows down.

Who's a good boy?

All-star.

Clean scuff marks the lazy

person's way.

Cut open a tennis ball and pop

it onto the end of a broomstick

handle to create a convenient

dirt eraser.

All-star.

Got little kids?

Cut and put tennis balls on

table corners for sporty baby

bumpers.

Keep eyes safe and tables

looking ballerific.

All-star.

Stop struggling with stuck jar

lids.

Use half a tennis ball to help

pry them open like a champ.

All-star.

Keep losing stuff?

Attach a suction cup to a cut

tennis ball, and keep him by the

door.

Bonus -- you'll make a new

friend!

Literally!

All-star.

Tennis balls, you've bounced

your way into our all-star

hall of fame.

Aces!

>> Anybody have a hack for a

bike seat?

>> We hit the streets with

hidden cameras to test america's

hacktitude.

>> That doesn't look right.

Plus...

You guys like vodka.

>> Yes.

Drinkers of america, rejoice!

Top-shelf liquor is cheaper

than ever before.

>> Oh, my god! O0 c1

>> sometimes, ordinary people do

extraordinary things, all in the

name of hacking.

Take Mark.

Today, he's helping his

co-worker Kathy move.

Mark's had a crush on her since

they locked eyes at the copy

machine.

This is his big chance to win

her heart, because he...

Is a hack hero!

Kathy is struggling to lift

those awkward boxes.

Mark Springs into action,

cutting holes into the boxes to

make instant carrying handles.

Way to get a handle on Kathy's

box.

Zoiks!

What's this?

Kathy's stack of plates is a

recipe for disaster.

Harnessing the padding power of

Kathy's kitchen towels, Mark

repacks her dishes vertically.

Now Kathy's China will stay as

fine as she is.

>> Mmm.

>> [ Wolf-whistles ]

>> Now that Kathy's all packed,

Mark's ready to take on the

dreaded stairs.

Fear not, Kathy.

Our hack hero has a secret

weapon.

Using extra cardboard boxes and

some tape, our hero hacks

together a simple slide that

will have Kathy's stuff sailing

downstairs in no time.

It's a box, it's a bear...

It's a hack!

For his final feat, Mark leaves

some self-addressed, stamped

envelopes with Kathy's new

address on them so that when the

new tenants arrive, they'll

know where to send any extra

mail.

Oh, Mark, you think of

everything.

[ Doorbell rings ]

But wait.

Who's this?

Our hack hero's arch-Nemesis --

the elusive boyfriend.

Has the evil boyfriend thwarted

our hero's plans once again?

Hold on a second.

It looks like there might be

hope for Mark after all.

Hack on, hack hero.

Hello, there, friends!

Welcome to the hacker's lounge.

>> Nothing says classy like

paying $200 for a bottle of

fancy imported vodka.

>> But don't you wonder if

splurging for the top-shelf

stuff is actually worth it?

>> Well, I'm not so sure, but I

am ready to find out in this

newest spot the hack.

>> What's wrong with you?

>> I'm drunk.

In this spot the hack, we're

going to ask bar patrons if they

can taste the difference between

top-shelf vodka...

>> Or the stuff that I drink.

We are going to hack it.

>> Thank god.

>> Folks at home, get a pen and

paper.

You want to take your vodka, you

want to pour it into a pitcher

that has a charcoal filter.

>> Okay. And then...

>> You want to cycle it through

about four times to remove out

all the congeners.

>> What's that?

>> Congeners are impurities that

are introduced during the

process of fermentation, and

this supposedly will filter

those out.

Let's get it back in the bottle,

get some folks in here, and see

if they can spot the hack.

Hey, guys!

>> Hey, there.

>> Hello. How are you?

>> You guys like vodka.

>> Yes.

>> So, why do you choose more

expensive vodka?

>> Avoid the hangover.

>> It's smoother.

>> We have a hack today.

We've tried to take plastic-jug

vodka, we filtered it, and

supposedly, that's gonna make it

taste as good as the top-shelf

stuff.

These guys.

They work in a bar.

And how long have you been

bartending?

>> Five years.

>> You guys think you can taste

the difference?

>> Probably.

>> I think so.

>> Let's jump in, shall we?

Let's start with the yellow

tray.

Wow. He just took the whole

thing down.

>> Burn wasn't that bad.

>> The burn wasn't bad.

>> Smooth.

>> I don't think it was smooth.

>> I have heartburn, but I drank

the whole thing.

[ Laughter ]

>> Now for the shots from the

blue tray.

>> Ugh!

>> That was bad.

>> I thought that was better.

>> Yeah? [ Laughs ]

Oh. There's a quiver here.

'Cause it tastes so good?

>> It tastes extremely bad.

>> I think this one was smoother

than that.

>> Yeah.

>> The blue tray is smoother

than the yellow tray.

>> Yes, yes.

>> So, the million-dollar

question is, do you think you

know which of these was the

hacked vodka?

>> I would say yellow, too.

>> I would still say blue.

>> I would say blue, too.

>> The blue is the hack.

>> The yellow's the hack.

>> I think it's the yellow one.

>> I think so, too.

>> I think the blue one.

>> I think the yellow is the

hack.

>> Okay.

>> The yellow. Absolutely.

>> Should we tell them?

>> No.

[ Laughter ]

The blue shots were, in fact...

The hack.

>> What?

>> No!

>> 7 people thought the

top-shelf vodka was our hacked

vodka.

>> Oh, and you're gonna feel

that tomorrow.

[ Both laugh ]

Clearly, this hack worked.

People couldn't spot it.

You can totally filter your

vodka into tasting like the

pricey stuff.

>> Together: Cheers!

>> Here's to a great hack.

>> Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

>> Oh, so good.

Cheap vodka is filled with

impurities -- unwanted

byproducts of fermentation that

taste bad and cause nasty

hangovers.

But an activated charcoal filter

can help.

As the booze passes through,

carbon molecules bind to the

carbon in the filter, so vodka

comes out cleaner and tastier.

Plus, you dodge that horrible

hangover the next day.

>> Whew!

>> Thanks, filters!

>> Coming up...

>> Need a hack for a bike seat.

>> We go undercover to see what

strangers can hack together on

the street.

[ Bell dings ]

>> Look out!

Plus, forget Ben & Jerry's.

We've got ice-cream hacks

that'll turn you into the dairy

queen.

>> [ Gasps ]

This is better than sex. O0 c1

>> The gin & tonic -- instigator

of hangovers the world over!

Make one, but did you also know

it was a hack from history?

India, the 1800s.

The British empire rules.

Malaria ravages the nation.

The only viable treatment --

quinine, a medicine that

practically tastes like [bleep]

Doctors attempt to dilute the

stuff into tonic water, but

subjects refuse to take their

medicine until an idea dawns on

a British soldier, who probably

had a drinking problem.

>> [ British accent ] Hang on a

minute, mate.

What if we put gin in this?

>> You always say that.

>> Eureka!

The natural flavors of gin

disguise the bitterness of tonic

water, treating malaria and

getting people drunk all at

once.

>> Jolly good show, mate.

>> Cheers!

>> Which brings us to today.

The g&t remains beloved by

drinkers young and old.

It's still used to medicate but

only to fill the hole in one's

soul.

The gin & tonic, a truly

intoxicating hack from history.

>> Personally, I have no problem

eating chocolate hazelnut spread

straight out of the jar, but if

you're looking to take your

chocolate game to the next

level, I've got some hacks that

will turn one jar of chocolate

hazelnut spread into two

seemingly sophisticated

desserts.

You're welcome.

Make flourless brownies.

>> Mmm!

Flourless brownies.

So let's get crackin'.

[ Chuckles ]

Yep.

I like to do it on the

countertop.

I think that's how chefs do it.

I have no idea.

All right, I cracked all four

eggs.

Now you're gonna take your

electric hand mixer.

[ Motor whirring ]

[ Gasps ]

This is better than sex.

So, these eggs are nice and

fluffy.

And then I'm gonna take a

spatula to just mix it together.

Good for gluten-free people,

which is what I'm supposed to

be, but I eat gluten all the

time, and it's a real fart party

in my pants.

[ Laughter ]

Next, I'm gonna take a baking

pan, which is lined with

parchment paper, and I'm just

going to drizzle it into the

pan.

>> Ahh.

>> Have your oven preheated at

350 degrees, and let it bake for

about 20 to 30 minutes.

[ Cheers and applause ]

We're gonna make dessert number

two.

Mmm!

Chocolate ice cream.

Banana and what's left of your

chocolate hazelnut spread.

Take your frozen banana chunks

and throw them in a food

processor.

Let's turn this on.

[ Motor whirring ]

Okay. Now I'm gonna add what's

left of this awesomeness.

You just want to blend it till

it's smooth.

It doesn't get easier than that.

Check 'er out.

You've got hacked chocolate ice

cream using bananas and your

chocolate hazelnut spread.

Who am I kidding?

I'm just gonna eat this whole

tray.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

♪ Someone has to start

weight watchers tomorrow ♪

[ Laughter and applause ]

>> Check, check, 1, 2.

Oh, hey!

Oh-ho! Lucky day!

Nobody stole my bike, but

somebody made off with my seat,

which is exactly why we've got

hidden cameras everywhere -- to

see what hacks regular people

can invent on the street.

This is lend me a hack.

Anybody have a hack for a bike

seat?

Your hat, maybe?

It's a great cap.

It would be much more

comfortable than this.

Nobody walks around with a spare

bike seat.

Guess it's not on trend.

For a bike seat?

>> I can give you a binder.

>> Anything would be better than

this right now.

Maybe I could secure it with my

shoelace or something.

>> Here you go.

>> Okay.

Is that even going?

Let's see.

Like that?

Oh. Oh!

Ah!

Okay, that's really wobbly.

Oh, this is not gonna work.

Yeah, that's not working.

I made a mess of my shoe, made a

mess of his notebook, and I made

a mess of my genitals.

[ Buzzer ]

You have a bike seat on you?

No.

Miss, sorry to bother.

Do you have anything I could use

as a bike seat?

>> Got some groceries.

I don't know if there's anything

in there that you can sit on.

>> You mind if I manhandle your

melon?

What if I buy it off of you

right now?

I've only got twenties, but...

>> That's great.

>> $20 melon. Thank you.

I'm just gonna.

Okay.

I hope this doesn't split

straight through.

That doesn't look right,

does it?

>> No.

>> That looks really bad.

>> Sorry.

>> Well, it could seem like it

might've worked, right?

Here, I'll tell you what.

If you want to give me my twenty

back...

[ Buzzer ]

You guys have an extra bike seat

by any chance? No?

Okay.

You guys look like you can lend

me a hack for a bike seat.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, so let's try it.

This thing does have little

holes in the top.

Like there?

>> Uh-huh.

And then -- yeah, strap it, and

then just...

>> Maybe I was sitting on the

solution the entire time.

You think that's gonna hold?

>> I mean, it'll get you where

you got to go.

>> Would you hop on that thing?

>> If I have to.

>> [ Laughing ]

I'm gonna give this a try.

Appreciate it.

Oh, that is --

that's way more comfortable than

the alternative.

>> Yeah, right.

>> Guys, this is a great hack.

Thank you.

>> No problem.

>> I'm off. I can't ride a bike

for [bleep] but I'm out of here.

And I'm gonna die!

Oh!

[ Bell dings ] Look out!

It's a hack!

>> Coming up...

>> Eh?

>> America gets down and dirty

with tips for keeping clean.

>> Look at that going!

Tumblr's hack mail is next. O0

>> [ sniffing ]

Ahh. Nothing better than a bunch

of flowers.

>> Yeah. Wow.

I love the smell of roses.

>> But you don't want these in

your life, Brooke!

Because in mere moments, this

turns to this gunky, disgusting

mess.

So this is the time when we turn

to you, the people, to offer up

your best vase-cleaning hacks in

a segment we call

tumblr's hack mail.

Hack #1 comes to us from

MacKenzie from Boston.

MacKenzie writes...

Cut up a small piece of sponge,

put a slit into it to turn it

into, like, a sponge pocket.

>> [ Chuckles ] My p.O. Would be

very upset if he knew I had one

of these right now.

>> We're gonna take this little

magnet here, gonna insert it

into said pocket, take a magnet

on the outside, and then they

use that to sort of maneuver the

sponge on the inside.

Clean vase, here we go!

>> Here we go.

>> Okay.

>> Sort of ingenious.

Okay. I'm getting these little

bits up here.

Oh, there we go.

>> Oh!

>> Oh!

>> Submerged!

>> And the polarization has been

disrupted by soap and water.

Hack #2.

Rebecca, from Providence,

Rhode Island...

>> Hey, Becca.

>> Hey, girl!

...she writes...

>> That one makes total sense to

me.

A handful of rice.

>> Just a squirt.

>> Ooh!

>> That's probably enough.

>> Okay.

I believe in you, Becky.

You're gonna swish it around,

it's gonna be abrasive, it's

gonna loosen up any dirt.

>> ♪ Duh, da na na ♪

Okay.

Now it's nice and clean, in

case, you know, maybe one of

your co-hosts wants to give you

some flowers.

>> I'm a feminist, Brooke.

I believe a woman can buy her

own flowers.

>> Hack #3.

Dr. Tony, from Connecticut.

He says...

Let's fill it halfway.

>> I'm gonna assume that we're

gonna put the denture tablet

inside of the vase.

>> Ja.

>> Look at that going!

>> This is kind of fun.

The fizzing itself is moving

around some of the plant

sediment.

>> Let me get in there with this

toothbrush.

>> You're gonna come into a

little bit of a roadblock with

the fact that your toothbrush

isn't even long enough...

>> Yeah.

>> ...to get the stuff down at

the bottom.

>> No.

All right, so let's walk through

it.

Hack #1, we had the magnets and

the sponge.

We did not have any success with

that.

>> Not really.

>> Next, Dr. Tony, he recommends

a toothbrush and some denture

tablets.

Problem is that, unlike rice,

I don't know how many people

have this stuff lying around.

>> Right.

And finally, hack #2 was really

straightforward.

All you needed was some rice and

some water.

>> Stuff that you probably have

lying around your house.

>> Right. And you can use brown

rice if you like a healthy hack.

>> So let's do it.

Let's award the hack seal of

approval.

>> Congratulations, Rebecca.

You get our hack seal of

approval.

>> And if any of you want a

chance to have your hacks on the

show, it's so easy.

>> Oh, it's so easy.

>> Just go to

hackmylifetrutv.tumblr.com.

Send us your hacks, and maybe

we'll be sending a seal of

approvalyour

[ chuckles ]

>> ♪ We're gonna make some

kick-ass chocolate ice cream ♪

♪ h-h-h-hell yeah ♪

♪ who needs a boyfriend when you

got chocolate ice cream? ♪

It's a big hit on the radio

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0