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1
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:07,146
[ Children squealing ]
2
00:00:07,229 --> 00:00:10,271
[ Grunting ]
3
00:00:10,354 --> 00:00:17,604
♪♪
4
00:00:17,687 --> 00:00:18,979
Hi.
Hi!
5
00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:20,271
Oh! Oh!
6
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,604
Fuck!
Sorry. Sorry.
7
00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:23,021
No, no, no. It's nothing.
It's nothing. It's fine.
8
00:00:23,104 --> 00:00:24,396
Um, hi, I'm --
I'm so sorry,
9
00:00:24,479 --> 00:00:25,854
because I thought it was
Pride Night tonight.
10
00:00:25,937 --> 00:00:28,062
But apparently,
that's next Friday,
11
00:00:28,146 --> 00:00:30,771
and tonight is actually
Country Night.
12
00:00:30,854 --> 00:00:32,062
Oh.
Yeah.
13
00:00:32,146 --> 00:00:33,271
No, it's all good.
14
00:00:33,354 --> 00:00:34,937
And you look great.
15
00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:37,312
And I'm sure
no one will notice.
16
00:00:37,396 --> 00:00:39,021
I-I mean, like,
I-I can change.
17
00:00:39,104 --> 00:00:41,146
Like, I-I have clothes
i-in a locker.
18
00:00:41,229 --> 00:00:42,812
I-I didn't know
what magical
19
00:00:42,896 --> 00:00:44,937
Under the Stars things we were
gonna get up to afterwards.
20
00:00:45,021 --> 00:00:46,229
Oh. How late are we
gonna be out?
21
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:47,979
Oh, so he already wants it
to be over.
22
00:00:48,062 --> 00:00:49,437
No, no, no. I just need to tell
my dad, like, when to get me.
23
00:00:49,521 --> 00:00:50,729
No, that was a joke.
I was joking.
24
00:00:50,812 --> 00:00:52,187
Oh.
Oh, that's so cute.
25
00:00:52,271 --> 00:00:53,521
[ Chuckles ]
26
00:00:54,437 --> 00:00:56,271
We -- Should we get
the s-skates?
27
00:00:56,354 --> 00:00:57,646
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28
00:00:57,729 --> 00:00:59,979
[ Chuckles ]
So, how are you?
29
00:01:00,062 --> 00:01:02,021
Like, I want to know everything.
Tell me all of it.
30
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,396
"I'm Bo. I'm cute."
31
00:01:03,479 --> 00:01:04,729
Go.
Okay.
32
00:01:04,812 --> 00:01:06,687
Um...
33
00:01:06,771 --> 00:01:09,396
I-I started mining
for bitcoin today.
34
00:01:09,479 --> 00:01:10,646
Sorry, that's so boring.
35
00:01:10,729 --> 00:01:12,729
No, it's actually
very Taurus of you.
36
00:01:12,812 --> 00:01:14,062
Whoa.
37
00:01:14,146 --> 00:01:16,479
Well, that's crazy.
Did I tell you I'm a Taurus?
38
00:01:16,562 --> 00:01:20,229
No. She's just
very intuitive.
39
00:01:20,312 --> 00:01:23,562
Uh, actually,
I-I-I stalked you
40
00:01:23,646 --> 00:01:25,979
a little bit,
to find your birthday.
41
00:01:26,062 --> 00:01:27,729
But, like, you know,
who doesn't want to be stalked
42
00:01:27,812 --> 00:01:28,937
a little bit, right?
43
00:01:29,021 --> 00:01:30,312
Like, I'm like,
"Yes, please.
44
00:01:30,396 --> 00:01:32,479
Fantasize abut me
in pervy ways."
45
00:01:32,562 --> 00:01:35,812
Well, actually, um,
my aunt had a stalker --
46
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:38,521
Well, I mean, he wasn't
really,
but she thought he was
47
00:01:38,604 --> 00:01:40,604
'cause he kept showing up
at her apartment complex.
48
00:01:40,687 --> 00:01:42,354
But he was just
a delivery guy.
49
00:01:42,437 --> 00:01:45,521
Um. Only she ended up
pepper-spraying him, and
then...
50
00:01:45,604 --> 00:01:48,104
he filed a restraining order
against her, and --
51
00:01:48,187 --> 00:01:50,021
and she had
a nervous breakdown.
52
00:01:55,104 --> 00:01:56,604
Um, size 10, please.
53
00:01:59,396 --> 00:02:00,521
Oh, are you okay?
54
00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:02,687
Yes. Uh -- Uh --
So, bitcoin!
55
00:02:02,771 --> 00:02:04,229
T-Tell me about that.
How do you do that?
56
00:02:04,312 --> 00:02:07,437
Okay. Uh, well, it's mostly
just
figuring out software
57
00:02:07,521 --> 00:02:09,896
and profitability based on,
uh, energy consumption
58
00:02:09,979 --> 00:02:11,604
versus the current
bitcoin price
59
00:02:11,687 --> 00:02:13,646
But the --
Are you sure you're okay?
60
00:02:13,729 --> 00:02:16,187
Yeah. Just, um, keep
telling me about bitcoin.
61
00:02:16,271 --> 00:02:18,312
Uh, the --
the cool thing is mining
62
00:02:18,396 --> 00:02:20,521
actually helps keep
the network secure,
63
00:02:20,604 --> 00:02:22,687
which is interesting,
you know?
64
00:02:22,771 --> 00:02:23,896
Yes!
65
00:02:24,771 --> 00:02:26,187
Oh, is it?
Yes!
66
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:29,521
Hey, uh, I like
"Brokeback Mountain".
67
00:02:29,604 --> 00:02:31,229
I like Blake Shelton.
68
00:02:31,312 --> 00:02:32,687
[ Laughter ]
69
00:02:32,771 --> 00:02:34,229
That's fuckin'
hilarious.
70
00:02:34,312 --> 00:02:35,896
I bet he actually does like
Blake Shelton.
71
00:02:35,979 --> 00:02:38,271
Oh, I-I love
Blake Shelton.
72
00:02:38,354 --> 00:02:40,104
No, you don't.
73
00:02:40,187 --> 00:02:42,562
♪♪
74
00:02:42,646 --> 00:02:43,687
Are you sure
you don't want to stop?
75
00:02:43,771 --> 00:02:44,896
Yeah, no, I-I'm fine.
76
00:02:44,979 --> 00:02:46,354
I just haven't skated
in a while,
77
00:02:46,437 --> 00:02:47,771
but you know, there --
there are other things
78
00:02:47,854 --> 00:02:48,896
that I want to do
that might be fun --
79
00:02:48,979 --> 00:02:50,396
"Rocky Horror" and --
80
00:02:50,479 --> 00:02:51,771
Oh, I've always wanted
to see that.
81
00:02:51,854 --> 00:02:53,729
Oh, you're a virgin!
Okay. That's gonna be great.
82
00:02:53,812 --> 00:02:55,104
I wanna help you figure out
what to wear,
83
00:02:55,187 --> 00:02:56,562
because if you wear
the wrong thing,
84
00:02:56,646 --> 00:02:58,021
then, you get sacrificed
with the other virgins,
85
00:02:58,104 --> 00:02:59,354
and then, you have
to do something, like,
86
00:02:59,437 --> 00:03:01,854
moan your mom's name
like she's being fucked.
87
00:03:01,937 --> 00:03:04,937
Oh.
But it's, like, fun, though.
88
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,646
Are you guys brothers?
89
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,271
No. Do we look like
we're brothers?
90
00:03:10,354 --> 00:03:11,437
We're on a date.
91
00:03:11,521 --> 00:03:14,896
Oh, so, are you gonna
touch penises?
92
00:03:14,979 --> 00:03:16,479
Man: No, no, no, Bobby!
Other way! Other way!
93
00:03:16,562 --> 00:03:18,229
Ew! Ew! Ew!
94
00:03:18,312 --> 00:03:19,771
[ Vomiting ]
95
00:03:19,854 --> 00:03:22,521
Oh, my God! Shoot!
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
96
00:03:22,604 --> 00:03:24,604
Oh, my God.
A-Are you okay?
97
00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:27,271
Ew! Fuck!
98
00:03:27,354 --> 00:03:28,271
Ugh.
99
00:03:28,354 --> 00:03:29,604
Fuck!
100
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,646
[ Ashnikko's Cry (feat. Grimes)
plays ]
101
00:03:31,729 --> 00:03:36,604
♪♪
102
00:03:36,687 --> 00:03:38,062
[ Text message send noise ]
103
00:03:38,146 --> 00:03:40,312
♪ I'm a tough bitch,
but I'm sensitive ♪
104
00:03:40,396 --> 00:03:42,854
Delilah: Everybody come buy
your dance tickets!
105
00:03:42,937 --> 00:03:44,146
Riley! Hey!
106
00:03:44,229 --> 00:03:45,646
Do you wanna get --
-Sorry. I can't.
107
00:03:45,729 --> 00:03:47,229
♪ I'm about to rip
all of my hair out ♪
108
00:03:47,312 --> 00:03:48,729
♪ 'Cause I'm madder
than I've ever been ♪
109
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:52,437
♪ Bitch, are you tryna
make me cry? ♪
110
00:03:52,521 --> 00:03:55,271
♪ Are you tryna make me
lose it? ♪
111
00:03:55,354 --> 00:03:58,312
♪ You win some
and lose some ♪
112
00:03:58,396 --> 00:03:59,812
♪ This could
get gruesome ♪
113
00:03:59,896 --> 00:04:03,187
♪ Bitch, are you tryna
make me cry? ♪
114
00:04:03,271 --> 00:04:06,812
♪ Are you tryna make me
lose it? ♪
115
00:04:06,896 --> 00:04:09,937
The assignment was to take
an everyday object
116
00:04:10,021 --> 00:04:11,771
and look at it
in a new way,
117
00:04:11,854 --> 00:04:13,854
so that's what I did.
118
00:04:13,937 --> 00:04:15,187
Sam: Uh-huh.
119
00:04:15,271 --> 00:04:16,896
You've been, uh,
cutting too many classes.
120
00:04:16,979 --> 00:04:18,562
We're only 10 days
into the new term,
121
00:04:18,646 --> 00:04:20,604
and you're failing
photography,
122
00:04:20,687 --> 00:04:23,771
which feels a little like
Picasso failing art.
123
00:04:23,854 --> 00:04:25,021
Thank you.
124
00:04:25,104 --> 00:04:26,937
Why is Picasso
failing art?
125
00:04:27,021 --> 00:04:29,479
Is there, like, a slip you sign,
or something?
126
00:04:29,562 --> 00:04:31,312
At my high school, there was
a track and field coach
127
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,354
who everyone --
everyone hated
128
00:04:33,437 --> 00:04:35,646
'cause he called kids
"weaklings,"
129
00:04:35,729 --> 00:04:37,521
like, straight up.
130
00:04:37,604 --> 00:04:40,521
One time, he, uh,
tripped a kid on purpose,
131
00:04:40,604 --> 00:04:41,812
using a pole vault pole.
132
00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:44,729
Like, he was evil.
133
00:04:44,812 --> 00:04:48,021
My point is people will always
try to crush dreams,
134
00:04:48,104 --> 00:04:49,812
so, what do you do?
135
00:04:52,687 --> 00:04:55,229
Take pictures of fruit.
[ Chuckles ]
136
00:04:55,312 --> 00:04:58,979
I get you want to blow things
up, but like, how big?
137
00:04:59,062 --> 00:05:04,062
Just 'cause you don't want to
blow yourself up in the
process.
138
00:05:04,146 --> 00:05:06,187
[ Indistinct conversations
in distance ]
139
00:05:06,271 --> 00:05:10,021
♪ Bitch, are you tryna
make me cry? ♪
140
00:05:10,104 --> 00:05:11,312
♪ Are you tryna make me
lose it? ♪
141
00:05:11,396 --> 00:05:12,937
[ Horn blasts ]
142
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,562
You had to choose
the one fruit that's hairy?
143
00:05:15,646 --> 00:05:16,771
♪ Bitch -- ♪
144
00:05:16,854 --> 00:05:19,312
♪♪
145
00:05:19,396 --> 00:05:20,562
What?
146
00:05:20,646 --> 00:05:21,729
Nothing.
I like you.
147
00:05:21,812 --> 00:05:23,479
You're my sister
from another mister.
148
00:05:23,562 --> 00:05:25,937
[ Chuckles ] Why?
You just are.
149
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,187
[ Phone chimes ]
150
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:29,896
Are you going?
151
00:05:29,979 --> 00:05:31,604
I don't know.
Are you?
152
00:05:31,687 --> 00:05:36,437
Chester: No. I am going on
a date with Cutie McCutie.
153
00:05:36,521 --> 00:05:38,312
Riley:
Oh, cute.
[ Chuckles ]
154
00:05:38,396 --> 00:05:40,354
And if you dial back
his nerdcon a bit...
155
00:05:40,437 --> 00:05:43,771
Like, how many stories are there
of straight people
156
00:05:43,854 --> 00:05:46,437
marrying their
high school sweethearts?
157
00:05:46,521 --> 00:05:49,437
It's the queers' turn
now, baby.
158
00:05:49,521 --> 00:05:50,896
Give it to usssss!
Mwah!
159
00:05:50,979 --> 00:05:52,062
Oh, my God.
160
00:05:52,146 --> 00:05:53,604
Can I just say --
it's so great
161
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,271
that you're not putting
any pressure on this.
162
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:56,646
Oh, thank you.
Mm-hmm.
163
00:05:56,729 --> 00:05:57,854
So proud.
Whatever.
164
00:05:57,937 --> 00:05:59,271
But you are going to
"X-Files", right?
165
00:05:59,354 --> 00:06:01,604
Mm...
166
00:06:01,687 --> 00:06:03,896
No. No. Stop.
167
00:06:03,979 --> 00:06:06,146
You're going!
-Mm!
168
00:06:06,229 --> 00:06:07,854
Does Greta...
169
00:06:07,937 --> 00:06:09,271
even want me there?
170
00:06:09,354 --> 00:06:10,687
Yes.
171
00:06:11,854 --> 00:06:13,271
What was
the motel drama?
172
00:06:13,354 --> 00:06:15,854
S-She just freaked out
a little bit.
173
00:06:15,937 --> 00:06:18,146
Mnh-mnh.
Something else.
174
00:06:18,229 --> 00:06:19,562
I know you, sis.
175
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:20,896
I don't really know
where we stand,
176
00:06:20,979 --> 00:06:23,979
or what she wants, or...
177
00:06:24,062 --> 00:06:25,646
[ Clears throat ]
178
00:06:25,729 --> 00:06:27,812
I-I don't -- I mean,
I don't know what I want.
179
00:06:27,896 --> 00:06:30,812
Whatever.
What do you think?
180
00:06:30,896 --> 00:06:33,021
I think lesbians
are exhausting.
181
00:06:33,104 --> 00:06:34,271
[ Chuckles ]
182
00:06:34,354 --> 00:06:36,271
I'm not a lesbian.
183
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,104
Yeah, well, you have
that over-talky,
184
00:06:38,187 --> 00:06:41,354
smother-y lesbian
thing down.
185
00:06:41,437 --> 00:06:42,687
If that is your definition,
186
00:06:42,771 --> 00:06:46,271
you are the biggest lesbian
in all of Anaheim.
187
00:06:46,354 --> 00:06:47,771
[ Tires screech ]
188
00:06:47,854 --> 00:06:49,479
♪♪
189
00:06:49,562 --> 00:06:51,771
You cunt!
190
00:06:51,854 --> 00:06:58,562
♪♪
191
00:06:58,646 --> 00:07:00,729
[ Gearshift clicks,
engine shuts off ]
192
00:07:00,812 --> 00:07:03,896
[ Dog barking in distance ]
193
00:07:03,979 --> 00:07:06,562
I can't with my parents
right now.
194
00:07:06,646 --> 00:07:08,604
[ Birds chirping ]
195
00:07:08,687 --> 00:07:10,271
Could you, uh, come in?
196
00:07:11,896 --> 00:07:13,271
[ Metal creaking ]
197
00:07:13,354 --> 00:07:14,521
Chester: Oh, my God.
198
00:07:14,604 --> 00:07:15,729
Who is that?
199
00:07:15,812 --> 00:07:17,979
My dad's child bride.
200
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,771
I literally thought
she went to school with us.
201
00:07:20,854 --> 00:07:22,854
Nope.
That is his girlfriend.
202
00:07:24,104 --> 00:07:26,062
Wait, so,
your mom moved out?
203
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:29,562
No. She's not.
Come -- Come see this.
204
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,812
[ Gasps ]
205
00:07:35,896 --> 00:07:39,354
What?!
206
00:07:39,437 --> 00:07:40,562
What is this?
207
00:07:40,646 --> 00:07:43,396
My mom has an inner child
named Ginnie,
208
00:07:43,479 --> 00:07:45,562
and she decided that
that inner child
209
00:07:45,646 --> 00:07:47,062
needs a place
to play, so...
210
00:07:47,146 --> 00:07:49,146
Wait, so, she's crazy?
211
00:07:49,229 --> 00:07:51,896
More just really
narcissistic.
212
00:07:51,979 --> 00:07:53,146
Or actually,
I don't know.
213
00:07:53,229 --> 00:07:55,562
Yeah, maybe --
maybe she's crazy.
214
00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:57,812
"We don't have
a Black friend."
215
00:07:57,896 --> 00:08:00,229
Okay, this is, like,
kind of fun, in --
216
00:08:00,312 --> 00:08:02,854
in a weird,
creepy kind of way.
217
00:08:02,937 --> 00:08:05,187
I mean, divorce makes people
do weird things.
218
00:08:05,271 --> 00:08:07,146
Like, one of my aunts
went full-on Born Again,
219
00:08:07,229 --> 00:08:08,521
and then, became
a quadruple black belt,
220
00:08:08,604 --> 00:08:12,104
but, like,
not in an empowering way.
221
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,687
[ Breathes sharply ]
222
00:08:13,771 --> 00:08:15,979
I have to leave for me, but
I don't want to leave for you.
223
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,312
It's okay. Go.
224
00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:18,562
You sure?
Yes. Don't be late.
225
00:08:18,646 --> 00:08:19,896
Do not worry about me.
Seriously.
226
00:08:19,979 --> 00:08:22,104
She has fucked me up
so much already,
227
00:08:22,187 --> 00:08:23,854
I am beyond fuck-up-able.
228
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,729
She once told me that
Santa Claus wasn't real
229
00:08:25,812 --> 00:08:28,187
just so I'd be mad
at my dad for lying.
230
00:08:28,271 --> 00:08:31,562
Yes. And then, I have to watch
her be this 5-year-old,
231
00:08:31,646 --> 00:08:34,021
like, obsessively making
these finger paintings
232
00:08:34,104 --> 00:08:36,104
of rainbow hearts,
233
00:08:36,187 --> 00:08:38,562
'cause she can't find love,
and I...
234
00:08:38,646 --> 00:08:42,812
But then, I'm like, "What
would
I do if I heard my husband
235
00:08:42,896 --> 00:08:46,396
banging some barely legal girl
in my own home?"
236
00:08:46,479 --> 00:08:49,062
[ Toilet flushes ]
237
00:08:54,646 --> 00:08:57,646
[ Door creaking ]
238
00:09:00,729 --> 00:09:02,479
Hi.
239
00:09:02,562 --> 00:09:04,062
I'm Chester.
240
00:09:04,146 --> 00:09:06,646
Eh, it's --
it's so nice to meet you.
241
00:09:21,771 --> 00:09:24,104
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
I'm so sorry. I'm --
242
00:09:24,187 --> 00:09:26,229
I'm canceling my date.
No. Don't do that.
243
00:09:26,312 --> 00:09:27,521
Yes.
Don't do that.
244
00:09:27,604 --> 00:09:29,354
She's probably happy
that she overheard.
245
00:09:29,437 --> 00:09:31,271
Now, she can ignore me,
and just feel justified.
246
00:09:31,354 --> 00:09:32,979
It's fine. Ah.
247
00:09:33,062 --> 00:09:36,312
Please, go, and be happy
with your perfect boyfriend
248
00:09:36,396 --> 00:09:38,187
on your perfect date,
please.
249
00:09:38,271 --> 00:09:39,604
I-I just --
250
00:09:39,687 --> 00:09:43,354
I need you to go, actually,
so I know that love exists.
251
00:09:43,437 --> 00:09:44,854
I love you.
Okay.
252
00:09:44,937 --> 00:09:46,562
So, that love exists.
253
00:09:46,646 --> 00:09:48,062
Thank you.
254
00:09:48,146 --> 00:09:49,771
[ Sighs ]
255
00:09:50,854 --> 00:09:52,604
Go to "X-Files."
256
00:09:54,729 --> 00:09:56,646
[ Door opens ]
257
00:10:01,104 --> 00:10:03,229
[ Birds chirping ]
258
00:10:07,104 --> 00:10:10,771
♪♪
259
00:10:10,854 --> 00:10:12,479
♪ Are you ready? ♪
260
00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:19,771
♪♪
261
00:10:19,854 --> 00:10:26,562
♪♪
262
00:10:26,646 --> 00:10:28,729
Ana:
I miss you.
263
00:10:28,812 --> 00:10:30,312
It's so good that you came.
264
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,896
[ Singing in Spanish ]
265
00:10:32,979 --> 00:10:34,896
She's just coming over.
266
00:10:34,979 --> 00:10:36,562
Oh, yeah. [ Chuckles ]
267
00:10:36,646 --> 00:10:38,854
I just --
The apartment looks so nice.
268
00:10:38,937 --> 00:10:41,562
My sister will be back any
day,
and though I used to think
269
00:10:41,646 --> 00:10:43,771
I'd rather gouge my eyes out
than live two doors down
270
00:10:43,854 --> 00:10:47,187
from her,
well, family, right?
271
00:10:48,146 --> 00:10:49,896
[ Door opens ]
272
00:10:49,979 --> 00:10:51,812
-Hi.
-Oh, hey.
273
00:10:51,896 --> 00:10:54,104
[ Door closes ]
Greta: Hi.
274
00:10:55,229 --> 00:10:57,312
What's up?
Um. Oh, I --
275
00:10:57,396 --> 00:11:00,146
...such a fucking power move.
Well, I mean,
it was just like...
276
00:11:00,229 --> 00:11:01,604
Delilah: You are a ho
in the best sense of the word.
277
00:11:01,687 --> 00:11:03,062
Arianna:
I learned from you.
278
00:11:03,146 --> 00:11:04,729
That was, like,
a life-lesson moment.
279
00:11:04,812 --> 00:11:07,396
Like, parents of the world,
if you try to control us,
280
00:11:07,479 --> 00:11:08,771
this is what
we will do.
281
00:11:08,854 --> 00:11:10,104
-Hi.
-Hi.
282
00:11:10,187 --> 00:11:12,729
I'm Ana. Welcome to
the "X-Files" experience.
283
00:11:12,812 --> 00:11:14,229
So, is this everyone
who's coming?
284
00:11:14,312 --> 00:11:15,437
I'm gonna
start the show now.
285
00:11:15,521 --> 00:11:16,937
-So, Chester's not coming?
-Oh.
286
00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:19,771
Um, I think he's
hanging out with Bo.
287
00:11:19,854 --> 00:11:22,104
Cool. Great. Um...
Oh, my God.
288
00:11:22,187 --> 00:11:23,979
So, they've been, like,
hanging out a lot, or...
289
00:11:24,062 --> 00:11:27,229
No, I think this is
the first time, but, yeah.
290
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,771
You okay?
Yeah. Totally.
291
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,437
It's -- It's just,
like, weird,
292
00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:32,187
'cause he's never mentioned
the voicemail, but,
293
00:11:32,271 --> 00:11:35,437
like, it's fine --
For real?
A cumshot on a kiwi?
294
00:11:35,521 --> 00:11:36,771
No. No, no, no, no.
295
00:11:36,854 --> 00:11:38,354
It was a middle-schooler
fucking a kiwi, right?
296
00:11:38,437 --> 00:11:39,729
No, it was not.
297
00:11:39,812 --> 00:11:40,937
Delilah:
Wait, let me see.
298
00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:42,271
Oh, this photo
is really amazing.
299
00:11:42,354 --> 00:11:44,604
-Shh!
-Oh, thank you.
300
00:11:44,687 --> 00:11:46,271
-Look.
-It's starting now.
301
00:11:46,354 --> 00:11:48,271
-Sorry. Sorry.
-This show really
taught the world
302
00:11:48,354 --> 00:11:49,812
to pay attention
to how the government lies.
303
00:11:49,896 --> 00:11:51,646
Ana:
You are invited back.
304
00:11:51,729 --> 00:11:53,979
Nathan:
Based on today, Naomi is
the best liar in the world --
305
00:11:54,062 --> 00:11:56,146
and I say that
with full respect.
306
00:11:56,229 --> 00:11:59,104
Arianna: Watch this.
Two truths and a lie, bitch.
307
00:11:59,187 --> 00:12:00,562
Go.
-Okay.
308
00:12:00,646 --> 00:12:01,979
Um, everyone in my family
309
00:12:02,062 --> 00:12:03,729
has a middle name
that starts with N.
310
00:12:03,812 --> 00:12:06,146
Once, I fractured my nose
from sneezing too hard.
311
00:12:06,229 --> 00:12:09,062
And I absorbed a triplet
in the womb.
312
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,312
-Definitely three.
-You can't fracture your nose.
313
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:13,437
-It was two.
-[ Laughs ]
314
00:12:13,521 --> 00:12:17,187
Hey.
So, are you okay?
Your absorbed a triplet?
315
00:12:17,271 --> 00:12:18,979
Yeah. It was just, like,
my mom was --
316
00:12:19,062 --> 00:12:20,187
[ Pounding on door ]
317
00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:21,729
Man: And keep it down!
318
00:12:21,812 --> 00:12:24,104
I will when your wife stops
stealing my Amazon packages!
319
00:12:24,187 --> 00:12:25,771
Naomi: I should've
absorbed Nathan.
320
00:12:25,854 --> 00:12:27,937
But I'm telling you,
if you talk during it,
321
00:12:28,021 --> 00:12:29,854
you will miss
crucial plot points.
322
00:12:29,937 --> 00:12:31,937
[ Sirens wailing in distance ]
323
00:12:34,437 --> 00:12:35,979
[ Door opens ]
324
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,646
[ Door closes ]
325
00:12:41,646 --> 00:12:43,771
Not into the show?
[ Chuckles ]
326
00:12:43,854 --> 00:12:48,021
I'll get into when the aliens
start torturing the people.
327
00:12:49,146 --> 00:12:53,271
And, um, uh -- how --
how was your break?
328
00:12:53,354 --> 00:12:55,604
Great. Yeah, I mean,
I don't know,
329
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:58,021
I guess a little weird?
330
00:12:58,104 --> 00:13:03,229
My parents don't,
um...know.
331
00:13:03,312 --> 00:13:04,396
Oh.
332
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:05,854
Yeah.
I don't know.
333
00:13:05,937 --> 00:13:07,771
We live in this world
where it's all, like,
334
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:11,562
"Oh, you need to tell everything
to everyone all the time,"
335
00:13:11,646 --> 00:13:13,937
and maybe it's just...
336
00:13:15,104 --> 00:13:16,521
I don't know...
337
00:13:16,604 --> 00:13:18,396
not actually always
the best thing?
338
00:13:18,479 --> 00:13:20,187
[ Phone chimes ]
339
00:13:20,271 --> 00:13:22,437
-Oh!
-Oh, shit!
340
00:13:22,521 --> 00:13:24,729
Are -- Are you okay?
341
00:13:24,812 --> 00:13:26,062
-Yeah.
-I told you.
342
00:13:26,146 --> 00:13:27,479
Ana: It's good.
343
00:14:08,979 --> 00:14:11,396
Delilah: Everybody,
come buy your dance tickets!
344
00:14:11,479 --> 00:14:12,937
Riley!
345
00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:15,521
Hey, do you wanna get tickets --
-No, I can't.
346
00:14:16,521 --> 00:14:19,771
Both of you close your eyes
and hold out your hands.
347
00:14:19,854 --> 00:14:21,396
-What?
-Now.
348
00:14:21,479 --> 00:14:22,687
Do it.
349
00:14:24,521 --> 00:14:26,062
Open up.
350
00:14:28,229 --> 00:14:32,771
-[ Gasps ] Oh, my God!
-Oh, it's a little helix.
351
00:14:32,854 --> 00:14:35,437
Because D-N-A!
352
00:14:35,521 --> 00:14:36,604
Oh, my gosh!
353
00:14:36,687 --> 00:14:40,187
-Come here.
-Oh!
354
00:14:40,271 --> 00:14:42,729
I seriously love
you guys so much.
355
00:14:42,812 --> 00:14:45,771
You are my bitches,
you are my hos, you're my sluts.
356
00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:47,479
I fucking love you
for life.
357
00:14:47,562 --> 00:14:49,229
Oh!
358
00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:51,312
I love this more
than life itself.
359
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,979
Um, is someone
sitting here?
360
00:14:58,062 --> 00:14:59,771
Hi. No.
361
00:14:59,854 --> 00:15:01,479
Okay.
Okay, cool.
362
00:15:01,562 --> 00:15:03,729
Um, I wanted...
363
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:05,979
I wanted to, um...
364
00:15:06,062 --> 00:15:07,479
-Hi!
-Hi!
365
00:15:07,562 --> 00:15:09,146
Hi. Um...
366
00:15:09,229 --> 00:15:10,396
ca va?
367
00:15:10,479 --> 00:15:11,854
Uh, ca va.
368
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:14,646
Oh!
369
00:15:14,729 --> 00:15:15,812
[ Mouthing words ]
370
00:15:16,396 --> 00:15:19,021
[ Woman speaking French ]
371
00:15:19,104 --> 00:15:21,687
Did you know it's because
he has bad sinuses
372
00:15:21,771 --> 00:15:23,146
that he breathes
so loudly?
373
00:15:23,229 --> 00:15:24,937
He told me one time
during French,
374
00:15:25,021 --> 00:15:26,146
'cause I was staring,
375
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:27,354
and he thought
I was staring
376
00:15:27,437 --> 00:15:28,854
because he was
breathing so loud.
377
00:15:28,937 --> 00:15:30,312
Are you sure you're okay
with this?
378
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,354
'Cause I know you wanted
to fuck him.
379
00:15:32,437 --> 00:15:34,646
No. It's seriously fine.
380
00:15:34,729 --> 00:15:36,104
Okay.
381
00:15:36,187 --> 00:15:39,021
But the other thing I was
thinking while I was staring
is,
382
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:42,521
"How do you tell a guy
their cologne smells bad?"
383
00:15:42,604 --> 00:15:44,271
Which you have to do,
because other--
384
00:15:44,354 --> 00:15:46,687
Naomi: I'm, like, open to,
like, working it out,
385
00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:47,979
because that's just, like,
386
00:15:48,062 --> 00:15:49,521
what you have to do
in a relationship.
387
00:15:49,604 --> 00:15:52,687
-Yeah.
-We literally need them
in an hour.
388
00:15:52,771 --> 00:15:53,979
Megan: What for?
389
00:15:54,062 --> 00:15:56,562
Naomi: For our viewing party.
Dad knows.
390
00:15:56,646 --> 00:15:59,021
Oh. Okay.
391
00:15:59,104 --> 00:16:01,812
Apparently, he has his method
of parenting and I have mine.
392
00:16:01,896 --> 00:16:06,062
So, from now on, you must both
ask my permission, also,
393
00:16:06,146 --> 00:16:08,062
because he was not
on that FaceTime call
394
00:16:08,146 --> 00:16:09,562
when you viciously
attacked me.
395
00:16:09,646 --> 00:16:11,146
[ Doorbell rings ]
396
00:16:15,187 --> 00:16:16,354
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Door opens ]
397
00:16:16,437 --> 00:16:17,771
Hi.
Pastor Jeb: Megan.
398
00:16:17,854 --> 00:16:19,437
[ Door closes ]
Kids, um,
Pastor Jeb, uh,
399
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:23,396
stopped by to pick up an
extra,
uh, paper shredder I have.
400
00:16:23,479 --> 00:16:26,687
Hi, Nathan.
Hi, Naomi. Hi, kids.
401
00:16:26,771 --> 00:16:28,646
Well, actually,
why don't you just stay
402
00:16:28,729 --> 00:16:30,104
for a glass
of iced tea?
403
00:16:30,187 --> 00:16:31,354
Great.
Yeah. It'll be great.
404
00:16:31,437 --> 00:16:32,562
Nathan,
why don't you join us?
405
00:16:32,646 --> 00:16:35,146
-I really --
-iMaravillosa!
406
00:16:35,229 --> 00:16:37,229
Oh, look, Gloria's already
set it up. She's a genius.
407
00:16:37,312 --> 00:16:38,562
[ Whispering ]
I'll pray for you.
Ah, excellent.
408
00:16:38,646 --> 00:16:41,229
I just think New Year's,
you know,
409
00:16:41,312 --> 00:16:43,062
it's a great time...
Okay.
410
00:16:43,146 --> 00:16:45,646
...to have a conversation
about resetting,
411
00:16:45,729 --> 00:16:47,187
about building new found--
412
00:16:47,271 --> 00:16:49,729
Is this about the kissing video
or me being bi?
413
00:16:50,812 --> 00:16:51,937
Pastor Jeb: So...
414
00:16:53,062 --> 00:16:55,771
...it's like skiing.
415
00:16:55,854 --> 00:16:57,312
Sometimes,
you put on your skis,
416
00:16:57,396 --> 00:16:59,812
and you push yourself
down a mountain,
417
00:16:59,896 --> 00:17:02,187
and suddenly,
you're thinking,
418
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:05,104
"This mountain is a lot steeper
than I thought..."
Mm.
419
00:17:05,187 --> 00:17:07,354
"...and it's going too fast.
420
00:17:07,437 --> 00:17:10,437
And it seemed like
it was gonna be fun,
421
00:17:10,521 --> 00:17:12,937
but I'm really not
enjoying this anymore,
422
00:17:13,021 --> 00:17:17,646
and I want to stop,
but it feels like I can't."
423
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:21,396
You ever get that feeling,
Nathan?
424
00:17:21,479 --> 00:17:23,104
Not really, no.
425
00:17:23,187 --> 00:17:25,604
-Oh. Well.
-Oh, my God.
426
00:17:25,687 --> 00:17:28,646
Southern California.
Yeah.
427
00:17:28,729 --> 00:17:33,729
But I-I think your parents feel
you're experiencing pressures,
428
00:17:33,812 --> 00:17:36,479
and that's resulting
in some choices that --
429
00:17:36,562 --> 00:17:38,396
Okay, so, we are talking
about me being bi?
430
00:17:38,479 --> 00:17:40,604
-No.
-I hate when parents lie.
431
00:17:40,687 --> 00:17:42,479
Like, they think
we can't tell?
432
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,104
And we're rally coming at this
from a place of love, you know?
433
00:17:46,187 --> 00:17:48,937
Nathan: Cool.
Well, I love love.
434
00:17:49,021 --> 00:17:51,062
Actually, I think I might be
falling in love.
435
00:17:51,146 --> 00:17:54,146
Well, that's frickin'
great news.
Oh, awesome.
436
00:17:54,229 --> 00:17:56,354
I mean, I was really worried
that you might be upset
437
00:17:56,437 --> 00:17:57,937
that I had a boyfriend.
438
00:17:58,021 --> 00:17:59,437
You do not.
439
00:17:59,521 --> 00:18:00,812
Who's he dating?
440
00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:03,729
I think he's lying
just to fuck with them,
441
00:18:03,812 --> 00:18:06,187
which is a ballsy move.
442
00:18:06,271 --> 00:18:08,021
Though, she'll never
believe him,
443
00:18:08,104 --> 00:18:10,562
and she'll pick him apart,
and he'll start crying.
444
00:18:10,646 --> 00:18:12,229
Mm, normal.
445
00:18:12,312 --> 00:18:14,229
-Shit.
-What?
446
00:18:14,312 --> 00:18:15,854
-Fuck.
-What?
447
00:18:15,937 --> 00:18:18,187
He better buy me a really
expensive gift card for this.
448
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:19,437
What are you gonna do?
449
00:18:19,521 --> 00:18:21,187
Megan: I'm not saying
that you don't have a --
450
00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:22,687
a b-friend.
451
00:18:22,771 --> 00:18:24,021
I'm just saying that,
sometimes,
452
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:27,396
you do exaggerate
for dramatic effect.
453
00:18:27,479 --> 00:18:30,021
I'm so glad you finally
told them.
454
00:18:30,104 --> 00:18:31,896
Do they know who he is?
This bitch.
455
00:18:31,979 --> 00:18:33,854
Nathan: It was such
a fucking power move.
456
00:18:33,937 --> 00:18:36,812
Naomi: And you know she was just
dying to know who it was,
457
00:18:36,896 --> 00:18:39,187
but wouldn't ask
in front of Pastor Jeb.
458
00:18:39,271 --> 00:18:41,396
You were a ho in the
best sense of the word.
459
00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:42,604
I learned from you.
460
00:18:42,687 --> 00:18:44,437
That was, like,
a life lesson moment.
461
00:18:44,521 --> 00:18:47,562
Like, Parents of the World,
if you try to control us,
462
00:18:47,646 --> 00:18:49,146
this is what
we will do to you.
463
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,896
-Thank you.
-Hi.
464
00:18:50,979 --> 00:18:52,396
-I'm Ana.
-Hi.
465
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,229
Welcome to
the "X-Files" experience.
466
00:18:54,312 --> 00:18:55,854
Thank you so much
for having us.
467
00:18:55,937 --> 00:18:57,729
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God.
468
00:18:57,812 --> 00:19:00,062
-"X-Files"-themed food.
-So, is this everyone
who's coming?
469
00:19:00,146 --> 00:19:01,354
I'm gonna
start the show now.
470
00:19:01,437 --> 00:19:04,062
Riley:
And h-how was your break?
471
00:19:04,146 --> 00:19:05,396
[ Siren wails in distance ]
472
00:19:05,479 --> 00:19:06,729
Great.
473
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,229
Yeah, I mean...
474
00:19:09,312 --> 00:19:10,437
[ Wailing continues ]
475
00:19:10,521 --> 00:19:13,479
I don't know,
I guess a little weird?
476
00:19:13,562 --> 00:19:17,812
My parents don't,
um...know.
477
00:19:18,812 --> 00:19:20,521
Oh.
I don't know.
478
00:19:20,604 --> 00:19:23,646
We live in this world
where it's all like...
479
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:27,146
"You have to tell everything
to everyone all the time,"
480
00:19:27,229 --> 00:19:29,687
and maybe it's just...
I don't know...
481
00:19:29,771 --> 00:19:31,896
not actually always
the best thing?
482
00:19:31,979 --> 00:19:34,354
[ Phone chimes ]
483
00:19:34,437 --> 00:19:36,812
-Oh!
-Oh, shit!
484
00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:39,437
-[ Screams ]
-Oh, my God!
485
00:19:39,521 --> 00:19:40,812
-Aah!
-Aah!
486
00:19:41,896 --> 00:19:43,937
Ana: I told you.
It's good, right?
487
00:19:44,021 --> 00:19:46,687
Arianna: Oh, my God.
488
00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:47,937
Are you okay?
489
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,479
Yeah. Yeah.
490
00:19:51,187 --> 00:19:53,312
Isn't he on a date?
491
00:19:55,021 --> 00:19:56,312
Delilah: Riley! Hey!
Do you want to get --
492
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,229
Riley: Sorry, I can't.
493
00:19:58,312 --> 00:19:59,771
Will you just
pin her down
494
00:19:59,854 --> 00:20:01,021
and wrap your legs
around her face already?
495
00:20:01,104 --> 00:20:03,021
[ Sighs ]
What?
496
00:20:03,104 --> 00:20:07,062
It's just, like, why is
everything always so sexual?
497
00:20:08,812 --> 00:20:10,312
Where are you going
with Bo?
498
00:20:10,396 --> 00:20:13,021
Uh, roller skating,
which I'm trash at,
499
00:20:13,104 --> 00:20:15,271
but at least he'll be forced
to hold my hand.
500
00:20:15,354 --> 00:20:16,479
[ Chuckles ]
501
00:20:16,562 --> 00:20:17,812
♪♪
502
00:20:17,896 --> 00:20:19,979
Wait, you think
it's a bad choice?
503
00:20:20,062 --> 00:20:22,729
Hold up.
Are you nervous?
504
00:20:22,812 --> 00:20:23,979
Fuck you. Yes.
505
00:20:24,062 --> 00:20:25,771
Yes, I'm nervous.
506
00:20:25,854 --> 00:20:29,812
He's not some, like, older guy
who's never gonna be into me,
507
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:33,479
or some suck-my-fisting-dick
Grindr guy -- sorry.
508
00:20:33,562 --> 00:20:38,104
He -- He's, like, actual
boyfriend material.
509
00:20:38,187 --> 00:20:40,104
Also, over the break,
I was like,
510
00:20:40,187 --> 00:20:42,396
"If I turn on the TV
and 'Love Actually' is on,
511
00:20:42,479 --> 00:20:44,146
it means
I'm marrying Bo."
512
00:20:44,229 --> 00:20:45,521
It's always on.
513
00:20:45,604 --> 00:20:46,979
What can I say?
It was on.
514
00:20:47,062 --> 00:20:49,062
It was on.
I asked the universe.
515
00:20:49,146 --> 00:20:50,312
The universe answered.
516
00:20:50,396 --> 00:20:52,437
And she was like,
"No more unrequited love
517
00:20:52,521 --> 00:20:54,479
for you, God bless."
518
00:20:54,562 --> 00:20:56,354
[ Children squealing ]
Fuck!
519
00:20:56,437 --> 00:20:57,771
[ Vomiting ]
520
00:20:57,854 --> 00:20:59,396
Fuck.
521
00:20:59,479 --> 00:21:00,812
Ah!
522
00:21:00,896 --> 00:21:03,979
Captain Hook: Alright, ye
scallywags, finish up ye
nachos,
523
00:21:04,062 --> 00:21:05,812
because it's almost time
for cake.
524
00:21:05,896 --> 00:21:11,187
Boy: Can you stop talking?
You have a very annoying voice.
525
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,521
Hi.
Hi.
526
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:15,354
Are you okay?
Yes.
527
00:21:15,437 --> 00:21:16,729
I-I got us some food.
528
00:21:16,812 --> 00:21:18,312
Oh, that is so sweet.
529
00:21:18,396 --> 00:21:20,896
So, while I was in the bathroom,
cleaning up vomit,
530
00:21:20,979 --> 00:21:24,396
um, I was thinking that
you being a Taurus
531
00:21:24,479 --> 00:21:26,896
is actually the gods being like,
"Hey, bitch, pay attention
532
00:21:26,979 --> 00:21:28,771
to this,
and make it work," you know?
533
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:30,312
'Cause I'm a Scorpio, and --
534
00:21:30,396 --> 00:21:32,271
Woman: Tyler, we do not take
our clothes off in public!
535
00:21:32,354 --> 00:21:35,396
Miss G-- Miss Google was saying,
like, Scorpio and Taurus,
536
00:21:35,479 --> 00:21:37,437
they share
a personal belief system
537
00:21:37,521 --> 00:21:40,187
that goes deeper than
the bottom of the ocean.
538
00:21:40,271 --> 00:21:41,979
She also said, like,
for physical pleasure,
539
00:21:42,062 --> 00:21:43,646
expect
"crackling chemistry,"
540
00:21:43,729 --> 00:21:45,937
but maybe I won't
bring that up just yet.
541
00:21:46,021 --> 00:21:47,396
Yeah, I don't know,
it's just, like,
542
00:21:47,479 --> 00:21:49,896
the whole thought of u-us
meeting on the roof.
543
00:21:49,979 --> 00:21:52,062
Like, I-I feel like
the universe
544
00:21:52,146 --> 00:21:54,646
is telling me to take this
seriously and pursue it,
545
00:21:54,729 --> 00:21:56,187
either till it's, like,
the end-all-be-all,
546
00:21:56,271 --> 00:21:58,104
or until it all falls apart,
and one of us gets,
547
00:21:58,187 --> 00:21:59,646
like, epically hurt --
548
00:22:01,104 --> 00:22:02,187
Oh, my God.
549
00:22:02,271 --> 00:22:05,396
Uh. I'm so sorry.
550
00:22:06,729 --> 00:22:08,229
Captain Hook: Please
don't pull off me hook.
551
00:22:08,312 --> 00:22:11,104
My friend wants to know --
are you Jewish?
552
00:22:11,187 --> 00:22:13,896
Girl: Your teeth
are very yellow.
553
00:22:13,979 --> 00:22:16,937
[ Indistinct conversations ]
554
00:22:17,021 --> 00:22:19,562
Man: Ah.
What did I have in this hat?!
555
00:22:19,646 --> 00:22:20,771
Bo: Uh.
556
00:22:20,854 --> 00:22:22,021
Are you okay?
Sorry.
557
00:22:22,104 --> 00:22:23,604
No, no.
That's...
558
00:22:25,229 --> 00:22:26,437
[ Cellphone vibrating ]
559
00:22:26,521 --> 00:22:28,812
-Whoo!
-Oh, very smart.
560
00:22:28,896 --> 00:22:31,646
My -- My mom's calling.
Yeah. Yeah.
561
00:22:31,729 --> 00:22:33,062
Hi, Mom.
562
00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:35,771
Presto chango!
563
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:37,229
Oh.
564
00:22:37,312 --> 00:22:38,812
Do I have to?
[ Chuckles ]
565
00:22:40,562 --> 00:22:41,687
Okay.
566
00:22:42,854 --> 00:22:45,896
I'm so sorry, but, um...
567
00:22:45,979 --> 00:22:48,021
my -- my mom...
568
00:22:48,104 --> 00:22:49,396
needs me to
come home early,
569
00:22:49,479 --> 00:22:50,937
'cause she has
this emergency work,
570
00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:55,187
like, PowerPoint presentation,
and she needs my help with it
571
00:22:55,271 --> 00:22:57,521
'cause she can't...
572
00:22:57,604 --> 00:23:00,271
do, um...
573
00:23:01,271 --> 00:23:02,646
...technology.
574
00:23:02,729 --> 00:23:04,812
S-So, yeah..
575
00:23:04,896 --> 00:23:13,437
♪♪
576
00:23:13,521 --> 00:23:14,771
Okay.
577
00:23:14,854 --> 00:23:21,062
♪♪
578
00:23:21,146 --> 00:23:23,187
[ Child squealing in distance ]
579
00:23:23,271 --> 00:23:25,104
♪ Underneath it all ♪
580
00:23:25,187 --> 00:23:29,271
♪♪
581
00:23:29,354 --> 00:23:32,146
♪ I feel a sadness ♪
582
00:23:32,229 --> 00:23:35,062
♪♪
583
00:23:35,146 --> 00:23:36,437
[ Line ringing ]
584
00:23:36,521 --> 00:23:37,812
♪ But there's
something beautiful ♪
585
00:23:37,896 --> 00:23:41,687
-Hello.
-It was shit, and I hate life.
586
00:23:41,771 --> 00:23:43,687
Riley: I'm sorry.
587
00:23:43,771 --> 00:23:45,187
Come up here.
588
00:23:45,271 --> 00:23:47,021
Eat some cupcakes,
589
00:23:47,104 --> 00:23:51,479
watch some people
get abducted by aliens,
590
00:23:51,562 --> 00:23:55,604
and know that everybody up here
really loves you.
591
00:23:55,687 --> 00:23:56,979
Okay.
592
00:23:57,062 --> 00:24:00,354
♪ I'm torn apart ♪
593
00:24:00,437 --> 00:24:02,687
It sucked.
Don't -- Don't ask.
594
00:24:02,771 --> 00:24:04,187
[ Door closes ]
595
00:24:04,271 --> 00:24:05,854
I forgive you
for being so late.
596
00:24:05,937 --> 00:24:07,354
Oh, my gosh.
597
00:24:07,437 --> 00:24:08,646
There.
598
00:24:08,729 --> 00:24:11,021
Nathan: Dude, do you want me
to run it back?
599
00:24:11,104 --> 00:24:12,646
No, that's okay.
600
00:24:12,729 --> 00:24:14,437
Here you go.
601
00:24:14,521 --> 00:24:17,146
-Something like what?
-I don't know.
602
00:24:17,229 --> 00:24:19,479
This is your Federal Bureau
of Impossible Burger, okay?
603
00:24:19,562 --> 00:24:20,771
Oh.
604
00:24:20,854 --> 00:24:21,896
Thank you.
605
00:24:21,979 --> 00:24:23,854
-Yeah.
-Does that look like...
606
00:24:23,937 --> 00:24:26,687
Here's a, um, ginger
[Chuckling] alien drink.
607
00:24:26,771 --> 00:24:27,729
Woman on TV: Yes.
608
00:24:27,812 --> 00:24:29,104
♪♪
609
00:24:29,187 --> 00:24:30,687
[ Chuckles ]
610
00:24:30,771 --> 00:24:34,021
I don't know,but I'm going to find out.
611
00:24:34,104 --> 00:24:35,562
♪♪
612
00:24:35,646 --> 00:24:37,437
[ Indistinct talking on TV ]
613
00:24:37,521 --> 00:24:38,771
[ Sighs ]
614
00:24:38,854 --> 00:24:41,729
♪ 'Cause I'm a lonely man ♪
615
00:24:41,812 --> 00:24:42,896
I'm sorry.
616
00:24:42,979 --> 00:24:45,229
[ Indistinct talking on TV ]
617
00:24:45,312 --> 00:24:47,729
Are you?
Man on TV: Why am Iless responsible?
618
00:24:47,812 --> 00:24:50,312
'Cause I knowyou're gonna have my back.
619
00:24:50,396 --> 00:24:53,521
I-I, um -- I-I really wanted not
to have left that voicemail.
620
00:24:53,604 --> 00:24:54,979
[ Chuckles ] Like -- Like,
621
00:24:55,062 --> 00:24:56,104
as soon as I left it,
I was like,
622
00:24:56,187 --> 00:24:57,604
"Ooh, fuck."
623
00:24:57,687 --> 00:24:59,229
Yeah.
624
00:24:59,312 --> 00:25:01,146
No, i-it's all good.
625
00:25:01,229 --> 00:25:04,229
I just -- Like, I --
626
00:25:04,312 --> 00:25:09,229
You know it's never gonna
be like that for us, right?
627
00:25:09,312 --> 00:25:10,771
Yeah. No, I know.
628
00:25:10,854 --> 00:25:12,896
I-I was just, like,
on drugs that day.
629
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:14,771
No, you weren't.
630
00:25:14,854 --> 00:25:16,104
No, I-I wasn't.
631
00:25:16,187 --> 00:25:17,146
♪♪
632
00:25:17,229 --> 00:25:18,312
[ Chuckles ]
633
00:25:18,396 --> 00:25:20,687
Um, but, like,
more than anything,
634
00:25:20,771 --> 00:25:25,896
I-I really just want it to,
like, not be weird between us.
635
00:25:25,979 --> 00:25:27,604
Yes. Yes. I don't want it
to be weird, either.
636
00:25:27,687 --> 00:25:31,604
Like, you're sweet and funny,
and I like you.
637
00:25:31,687 --> 00:25:36,229
Like, seriously, who wouldn't
wanna fuck their clone
638
00:25:36,312 --> 00:25:37,521
if their clone was you?
Oh, God.
639
00:25:37,604 --> 00:25:39,104
J: I think the
whole premise is that
640
00:25:39,187 --> 00:25:42,771
there's a truth that exists,
but, I don't know, does it?
641
00:25:42,854 --> 00:25:45,229
[ Indistinct talking on TV ]
642
00:25:45,312 --> 00:25:46,646
Um...Okay.
643
00:25:46,729 --> 00:25:48,479
Th-- This --
This might be a weird question,
644
00:25:48,562 --> 00:25:50,521
but, like, hopefully not, 'cause
we just talked about everything
645
00:25:50,604 --> 00:25:52,604
and I'm, like,
super clear about us,
646
00:25:52,687 --> 00:25:55,437
and there not
being an us.
647
00:25:55,521 --> 00:25:57,687
But -- But basically...
648
00:25:57,771 --> 00:25:59,396
I had this whole thing
with my mom, and she was,
649
00:25:59,479 --> 00:26:00,771
like, freaking out, and so,
I decided to mess with her,
650
00:26:00,854 --> 00:26:02,812
and I told her
I have a boyfriend.
651
00:26:02,896 --> 00:26:04,812
Wait.
Who's your boyfriend?
652
00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:06,021
Oh.
Oh, I don't have one.
653
00:26:06,104 --> 00:26:07,562
I just said that
to fuck with her.
654
00:26:07,646 --> 00:26:08,854
Impressive.
655
00:26:08,937 --> 00:26:10,812
Thanks.
656
00:26:10,896 --> 00:26:14,146
Um, so -- so, basically,
the -- the question is...
657
00:26:15,729 --> 00:26:19,021
...would you ever, like...
I don't know, like,
658
00:26:19,104 --> 00:26:21,479
like, hug me or something
in front of my mom,
659
00:26:21,562 --> 00:26:24,062
so she doesn't think
I'm lying?
660
00:26:24,146 --> 00:26:26,937
You...You want me,
as your friend,
661
00:26:27,021 --> 00:26:30,604
to pretend to be
your boyfriend?
662
00:26:30,687 --> 00:26:32,562
Sort of?
[ Chuckles ]
663
00:26:32,646 --> 00:26:36,021
Won't that be confusing
for you?
664
00:26:36,104 --> 00:26:37,521
No. Definitely not.
665
00:26:40,062 --> 00:26:42,854
So, I would be helping out
a friend,
666
00:26:42,937 --> 00:26:45,271
but also messing with
667
00:26:45,354 --> 00:26:48,062
a homophobic Evangelical
white woman?
668
00:26:48,146 --> 00:26:50,437
♪♪
669
00:26:50,521 --> 00:26:52,104
-Bye.
-Bye.
670
00:26:52,187 --> 00:26:54,187
-Bye.
-Wait, wait, wait.
671
00:26:54,271 --> 00:26:56,646
-Can she see me?
-Yep.
672
00:26:56,729 --> 00:26:58,062
Nathan:
Is her head exploding?
673
00:26:58,146 --> 00:26:59,521
-Yep.
-Thank you.
674
00:26:59,604 --> 00:27:02,021
You're seriously
such a good friend.
675
00:27:02,104 --> 00:27:04,771
How bad do you want
to mess with her?
676
00:27:04,854 --> 00:27:06,021
Really bad.
677
00:27:06,104 --> 00:27:07,479
Are you sure?
678
00:27:09,479 --> 00:27:19,062
♪♪
679
00:27:19,146 --> 00:27:20,437
[ Laughs ]
680
00:27:20,521 --> 00:27:24,854
-Shake 'em!
-Whoo! [ Laughs ]
681
00:27:24,937 --> 00:27:26,312
♪ This was never ♪
682
00:27:26,396 --> 00:27:28,437
Whoo!
♪ The way I planned ♪
683
00:27:28,521 --> 00:27:29,396
Yeah!
684
00:27:29,479 --> 00:27:30,854
♪ Not my intention ♪
685
00:27:30,937 --> 00:27:32,437
[ Cheers in distance ]
686
00:27:32,521 --> 00:27:36,396
♪ I got so brave,
drink in hand ♪
687
00:27:36,479 --> 00:27:39,646
♪ Lost my discretion ♪
Whoo!
688
00:27:39,729 --> 00:27:43,729
♪ It's not what good boys do
♪
Whoo! Whoo!
689
00:27:43,812 --> 00:27:47,312
♪ Not how they should behave ♪
690
00:27:47,396 --> 00:27:51,271
♪ My head gets so confused ♪
Oh!
691
00:27:51,354 --> 00:27:54,604
♪ Hard to obey ♪
692
00:27:54,687 --> 00:27:58,021
♪ I kissed a boy,
and I liked it ♪
693
00:27:58,104 --> 00:28:01,812
♪ The taste of his
cherry ChapStick ♪
694
00:28:01,896 --> 00:28:05,437
♪ I kissed a boy
just to try it ♪
695
00:28:05,521 --> 00:28:09,271
♪ I hope my girlfriend
don't mind it ♪
696
00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,354
♪ It felt so wrong ♪
697
00:28:11,437 --> 00:28:12,979
♪ It felt so right ♪
698
00:28:13,062 --> 00:28:16,604
♪ Don't mean
I'm in love tonight ♪
699
00:28:16,687 --> 00:28:21,271
♪ I kissed a boy,
and I liked it ♪
700
00:28:21,354 --> 00:28:22,271
♪♪
701
00:28:22,354 --> 00:28:25,229
♪ I liked it ♪
702
00:28:25,312 --> 00:28:27,562
♪♪
703
00:28:27,646 --> 00:28:29,771
♪ Not how they
should behave ♪
704
00:28:29,854 --> 00:28:33,812
♪ My head gets so confused ♪
705
00:28:33,896 --> 00:28:37,146
♪ Hard to obey ♪
706
00:28:37,229 --> 00:28:40,729
♪ I kissed a boy,
and I liked it ♪
707
00:28:40,812 --> 00:28:44,521
♪ The taste of his
cherry ChapStick ♪
708
00:28:44,604 --> 00:28:48,104
♪ I kissed a boy
just to try it ♪
709
00:28:48,187 --> 00:28:52,104
♪ I hope my girlfriend
don't mind it ♪
710
00:28:52,187 --> 00:28:53,979
♪ It felt so wrong ♪
711
00:28:54,062 --> 00:28:55,979
♪ It felt so right ♪
712
00:28:56,062 --> 00:28:59,562
♪ Don't mean
I'm in love tonight ♪
713
00:28:59,646 --> 00:29:04,437
♪ I kissed a boy,
and I liked it ♪
714
00:29:04,521 --> 00:29:05,354
♪♪
715
00:29:05,437 --> 00:29:08,937
♪ I liked it ♪
50155
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