Original subtitles

On The Dukes...

Boss, can I get you anything?

When Boss Hogg faces an escaped convict...

looking to settle an old grudge...

the Dukes jump into action to help.

I'd move a mountain to get him back to you.

Freeze it! Freeze!

♪ Just a-good old boys ♪

THE DUKES OF HAZZARD

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Some day the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just a-good old boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system ♪

♪ Like a true modern-day Robin Hood ♪

"BYE, BYE BOSS"

Some folks think that because you always see the Duke boys...

tearing around Hazzard in the General...

that they never do any work.

They do. They just don't punch nobody's clock but their own.

Lost Sheep to Shepherd.

Lost Sheep to Shepherd. You got your ears on? Come back.

Shepherd, you out there?

For all you latecomers...

Shepherd is the one in the red hat.

- That's a good boy. - Uncle, you got your ears on?

Lost Sheep to Shepherd, please come in.

Whoa!

You get too excited.

Lost Sheep, this is Shepherd.

We're letting you know we're headed to the general store...

to pick up a roll of screen.

That's good. That's good.

Homer is saving he's last roll for us.

Alright, that's big 10-4. What you doing?

Me and Maudine, we was hauling firewood up out of the bottom.

What you using Maudine for? Use a pickup.

Be quiet. Maudine's standing right here, she might hear you.

Would break her heart if she wasn't...

to help me get up the firewood.

And you boys have a beer for me.

I said, "for me." Not "on me," now.

Yes sir, Uncle Shepherd. This is Lost Sheep. We are clear.

I tell you.

While the boys were heading for the store...

a stranger was walking down the road.

And when somebody's walking in Hazzard County...

it means that their car's dead, their mule has died...

or they got trouble.

Who's that up there?

I don't know. Might as well stop and see.

Needs a ride.

- Hi! - Howdy!

- You boys going to Hazzard? - Yeah.

Yeah, we gotta pick up some screen.

- Say, you need a lift? - Yeah.

Things are definitely off to a bad start.

Bad news!

Boss, Digger Jackson escaped.

- Did you hear me? - Yeah, I can hear you.

The dead folks in the cemetery can hear you.

- Wait, what did you say? - Digger Jackson escaped.

- Digger Jackson escaped! - Yeah, I said that.

Wasn't he the man that you sent away to the hoosegow?

He said when he got out he was gonna come back here...

blow a hole in you, big enough to drive a tractor through.

- A truck. - A truck?

- I knew it was a big vehicle. - Rosco!

I want you to get right on that phone there...

and call the FBI, the State Guard, the militia...

- the Army, the Navy. - But...

I ain't got time for your buts!

Rosco, there's a gunman waiting out there...

to blow a hole in me big enough to drive a tractor through.

- No, that's a truck. - I don't care! Get on the phone.

Yeah, listen, I already called the Marshal.

And he's gonna send some men.

Alright. Then where in tarnation are they?

- They're over at Central City. - Central City?

Yes, the Marshal thought that Jackson would go there...

because he's got friends over there.

You mean the Marshal sent all his men to Central City?

Sent them all.

Listen, don't you worry, fat little buddy...

because you got us to protect you.

- Us? - Yes.

Cletus and me.

Hazzard's finest. Two men strong.

And a dog.

Two men and a dog?

Excuse me.

- Can we talk about this? - No way.

I got an appointment that's been waiting 10 years.

Should've knocked the gun out of his hand.

- If you're sitting, would you? - I would have tried.

- What're you doing? - Trying to get out.

Now, Homer Griggs...

the clerk of the general store, is a trusting old soul.

He don't even keep his eye on the door.

Bo, Luke. Is that you?

I'll be right out.

You come to pick up your screen?

Hey, Bo, Luke! What's going on?

You better open this door.

Who's out there? Open this door.

Come on, you kids. Stop playing around. I've got work to do.

Open this door. Luke! Bo!

Who's out there? Come on, open the door!

Quit playing around!

I'll be doggoned. Duke boys.

Didn't even take the screen wire.

Hey, looks like old Hobie.

Hobie!

- Hey. - How are you doing?

Joe and Duke.

How's your Uncle Lester and your Cousin Pansy?

Nice to know you never change, Hobie.

Uncle Jesse and Daisy are just fine. We need a lift to Hazzard.

I'm afraid that's out of my way. I'm going to Hazzard.

You get us to Hazzard, and we'll take it from there.

Would you like... Would you care...

I would like... Have some muscadine wine.

No, thanks. We're in kind of a hurry. Alright?

I know. Why do you think I'm doing 60?

Hobie, listen. Why don't you do me a favor?

Take your bottle, get in the back seat, and let Luke drive?

- Yeah, I can drive. - Oh, no.

I got you this far. I'll take you the rest of the way.

Yeah.

- Okay. - Alright.

You can only start it once, Hobie.

Listen, nothing to be afraid of...

I've got everything piled against the door.

Ain't nothing can come through there.

Listen, you're as snug as a bug in a rug.

- I am? - Yeah.

A bug don't have a killer like Digger Jackson out for him.

That man's got a mean grudge streak in him a mile long...

and 10 miles wide.

I can't understand that.

All you did was send him up 10 years for running illegal shine.

I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Maybe he's miles and miles from here.

Maybe not.

Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane here.

Hello, Sheriff. This is Homer Griggs, at the general store.

Duke boys just robbed me. Picked me clean as a chicken.

The Duke boys? Homer, are you sure it was the Duke boys?

I saw the General Lee drive off just now, didn't I?

Listen, get your nerves together, Homer...

and make out a list of all the things the Duke boys stole...

and I'll have them cuffed and stuffed before sundown.

I'll tell you something, this is my day.

You know, there's nothing like starting the day...

with a good armed robbery.

Rosco! Don't you dare touch any of that furniture.

Boss, the Dukes committed armed robbery...

against the general store.

Yeah? There's a killer on the loose out there looking for me.

So you just get Cletus to pick up them Duke boys.

You're gonna stand guard right here.

Oh, right.

♪ Oh Shenandoah, I long to hear you ♪

♪ Away you rolling river... ♪

Cletus, this is Rosco P. Coltrane. You got your ears on?

Yes, sir. This is Cletus here. Yes, sir.

I want you to put out an APB on the Duke boys.

Wanna get 'em for armed robbery at the general store. Come back.

Buzzards on a buzz saw. Armed robbery, Sheriff?

I don't mean to quibble with you...

Bo and Luke don't carry guns.

He's got a point, Boss. You see, Dukes don't carry guns.

Then get them for unarmed robbery, knucklehead.

Cletus, then get 'em for unarmed robbery, you knucklehead.

Do I have to tell you everything? I'm gone.

Roger. Turtle-brain.

I love it!

Rosco, stand guard!

Standing guard.

Come on, lemme take it.

Lemme drive till we get to town.

- Are you sure you wanna drive? - Hey, I'm sure. I'm really sure.

Alright. It's all yours.

- Hobie! - I got it!

- I got this. - Come here, Hobie.

- In the back. - You get away from my overalls!

No, thank you, Hobie.

Luke, you got any idea at all what's going on?

From the looks of things...

I'd swear that was Cletus back there chasing us.

Morton, will you quit horsing around? Now, come on.

That looks pretty good. Let me get the other one.

Oh, that's mine.

That looks good. Can't wait to eat that.

It's Deputy Cletus Hogg calling Sheriff Coltrane, come on.

Have you apprehended those Duke boys yet?

Not yet, sir, but I've got a drunk driver in my sight.

Cletus, never mind a drunk driver.

I haven't got time for such picayune things as that.

The Duke boys done committed armed robbery. Now go get them.

Don't worry, Sheriff.

I'll nail this drunk driver in two shakes of a sheep's tail...

then I'll get back to looking for the Dukes. Over.

Cletus!

Read my lips.

Get the Duke boys first, you dipstick. I'm gone.

Now, you talk about the Dukes' bad luck.

First, the Dukes' car is stolen.

They get blamed for a robbery that they didn't do.

They catch a ride with a drunk, Hobie.

His car couldn't even outrun Cletus.

There's no way we're gonna outrun him in this thing.

With that kind of luck...

ain't you glad a Duke ain't President?

Alright, mister.

Mister?

Mister, step out of that car.

You're under arrest for driving under influence of alcohol.

I wasn't driving, Officer. I was in the back seat.

You're the only one in the car.

I am?

While Cletus is carting old Hobie off to jail...

this deserted farmhouse is getting a new tenant.

RE-ELECT J. D. HOGG

For SUPERVISORY ADMINISTRATOR OF HAZZARD COUNTY

Oh.

- What? - I've got a pain.

- Where? - Right here.

It couldn't be a hunger pain, 'cause you ate my lunch.

It's probably 'cause your wallet's too tight.

Just play.

Yeah, well...

I love it! I love this game.

We interrupt this program for a special bulletin.

Over in Hazzard County, escaped convict Digger Jackson...

is still at large.

Jackson, a three-time loser...

is believed to be armed and very dangerous...

especially to Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg...

against who he has sworn mortal revenge.

Folks in Hazzard County are asked...

to keep their eyes peeled for this dangerous criminal...

still on the loose.

- And now, back to our regular... - No more of that.

Digger Jackson really threaten to kill Boss, Uncle Jesse?

He sure did. I remember, he stood up in court, he says:

"J.D. Hogg, I get out of this prison...

"I'm gonna blow a hole in you big enough...

to drive a truck through."

Or was it a tractor?

I'd hate to be in old J.D. Hogg's shoes right about now.

How about us? We're wanted for armed robbery, ain't we?

If I was the betting kind...

I'd bet Digger Jackson stole the General and robbed the store.

That's pretty much what I figure.

If we find the General, we can clear ourselves.

How will you find the General without Rosco spotting you?

We ain't gonna go looking for the General.

Cooter and Uncle Jesse are.

Yeah, you two won't cause no notice if you look around.

The General's got new dirt boots on. They ought to track easy.

I'm game, if you are, Coot.

Make tracks to find tracks.

What are you boys gonna do?

- We're going to jail. - What?

Hobie's in there.

If he vouch we're with him, we couldn't have done the robbery.

That'll be lot of fun.

We ain't broken into jail in two, three months.

Open that door and I'll shoot.

- Daddy, it's Lulu. - Lulu?

Careful.

- Rosco said you were in trouble. - I sure am.

What are you doing, sugar? That's craziness.

A man can't hide under the pool table alive forever.

There comes a time when he's gotta stand up, take his cue...

and sink that eight ball...

unless he wants to get dumped in the side pocket himself.

Chickabiddy, you can't hit the side of a barn...

with a machine gun.

Chickabiddy, if anything happens to you...

You'll eat your heart out, I know.

But you lemme go so I can breathe.

Looks like old Digger's on the move for a shootout showdown.

Well, he's sure got a big enough target.

I'll give some of my grateful constituents a chance...

to show me their gratitude.

- How are you gonna do that? - By deputizing them.

It's their right and privilege...

to protect the man who's done so much for this county.

Sugar, you know how people are. They don't want your troubles.

After all I've done for them...

they'd never turn their backs on me.

While old Boss tried to draft some bodyguards...

Jesse and Cooter were looking for tracks of the General Lee.

And the boys were about to visit their only witness:

the town drunk.

This is Shepherd calling Crazy Cooter. You got your ears on?

Got my ears on, Uncle Jesse. Crazy Cooter coming back at you.

- How're you doing? - Uncle Jesse, I've seen...

skunk, possum, coon, and buzzard tracks...

I even seen some deer tracks.

But I ain't seen hide nor hair of the General.

It's been the same here.

Hope the boys are having better luck with that Hobie character.

Alright, Hobie.

Wake up.

I said no water.

Keep an eye out the window. Hobie, look.

Come here a minute.

Remember me?

Hello, Flash. How are you, darling?

I hate to move you. But I got work to do here.

Look, you gotta remember us. It's important, alright? Walk.

Look. We're the guys you gave a ride to. Remember?

Remember the ride?

Hold on. Okay, I got you.

BOARS NEST Now, boys...

you can't let me down now.

I mean, helping me is your bounding duty.

So is living, Boss.

That Digger Jackson, he's a mean sucker.

You better call the militia.

Wait a minute. Don't walk out on me like this.

Fred, Smiley, Deke Haskell... Tell me:

Who loaned you the money to buy that little Blue Bell...

semi-automatic, front-loading...

battery-operated washing machine.

- Well, you did, Boss. - Alright.

But you charged me 50% interest.

- Compounded. - Yeah, but so what?

Just don't loan him any more.

Boss, can I get you anything?

Yeah, give me something that fizzes and plops.

- I got a burning inside. - I know.

Don't you worry about it, little fat buddy...

as long as I've got this here six-gun.

Six-gun?

Get over to the jail and get me something bigger than that...

like a 105 Howitzer, or bazooka, or an anti-tank weapon.

- Something with cannon balls? - Get that, too.

Anything to give me better odds.

I'm gone.

I'm on my own now.

Who are we?

Homer and Jethro.

Homer and Jethro. Hobie.

Hey, Luke.

Luke, Rosco's out there.

We best get out of here or we'll stay here with Hobie permanent.

Okay, Hobie, now turn around. Listen close, now.

Take a couple of steps straight ahead.

Okay, now turn around.

Alright. You're on your own.

Freeze!

Don't you move an eyeball till I get you cuffed.

Alright, Rosco. But I'm mighty surprised at you.

Boss Hogg don't like nobody standing on his grass.

Well, that's just too...

When I said "freeze"...

Just keep your hands down, will you?

You know what? While Rosco's having a wild goose chase...

old Boss is a sitting duck.

Fellas, my heart goes out to J.D. Hogg...

he's in a tough spot.

That Digger's mean, and he's tough.

Of course, he don't scare me none.

See, a man's gotta protect his own.

I'm going home to protect mine right now.

You're sure you don't want a damp towel for your face?

You know how it helps when you get the nerves.

Nothing can help me now.

Been a long time, ain't it, Hogg?

I told you I'd come back and get you, didn't I?

Get up.

Get up!

I see you're wearing a gun.

Draw.

Draw!

That's good.

You're worth more to me alive than you are dead.

If y'all wanna see this fat face alive again...

you better get your hands on some money.

I'm talking about some big money.

$100,000 and I want it by tomorrow noon.

There's a hollow tree out here, where Route 4 meets the highway.

You leave it there.

And don't you bother trying to get no help, 'cause if you do...

there ain't gonna be no tomorrow.

Lulu.

I got you now. I love it.

- Bo, he's gaining on us. - I know it.

If I can get that delivery truck between him and us...

we'll be home free.

Hope you're right.

Alright, you Duke boys, pull it over.

This is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane...

and I'm ordering you to pull over.

If you don't pull it over, I'll shoot out your left-hand tire.

Stand on it, Bo. You know Rosco when he starts shooting.

I know it.

I'm warning you!

I've warned them.

I got it. I got you!

Whoo! Wrong vehicle!

Look out!

I figure there ain't no place to go but up!

How do you plan on explaining this to Daisy?

- I thought so. - Let's get out of here.

Freeze it! Freeze!

Freeze it right there. I got you, this time.

Here, take these cuffs. Now you put them on.

- You gotta be kidding... - Put them on!

- I'm serious, just put them on. - Rosco...

I finally got you, didn't I? Come up here.

Get those cuffs on.

- Alright. - Get them on, there.

I knew I'd get you. I knew it. Get up there. Get up.

- Rosco, just listen to us... - Will you hush?

Rosco, we did not rob that general store.

A guy hijacked the General. We figure it's Digger Jackson.

I bet you it was him who robbed the store.

Sure, and my mother's Jeb Stuart.

- We're sorry to hear that... - Take these chains off.

- Take these cuffs off... - Don't come so close.

- Rosco, look out behind you. - You think I'm gonna fall...

Rosco!

- Rosco, are you alright? - You just freeze it!

- Let's get out of here. - Freeze!

I'm not sure I like three hands on a wheel.

I'd drive, but you'd have to run alongside then.

I'll drive.

Come back here and help me!

I'm serious!

Come here! You dipstick, come down here.

Where are we headed, anyway?

You may be on your last ride, Hogg.

If your friends don't show up with $100,000...

you won't have to remember how to get back.

I never did have much of a sense of direction, anyhow.

I'll tell them to put that on your tombstone.

Thanks, that's mighty considerate of you.

Hold on, Hogg. It's gonna get rough.

I didn't know it was possible to get a car...

to this place, where I don't know where I am.

Who does Boss Hogg think he is...

riding around in that big white car?

What did he ever do for you? I say good riddance to him.

Deke Haskell... I can't believe my ears.

Now, there's a fellow out there, and his life is in danger.

I admit it's J.D. Hogg...

one of the worst fellas this side of Hades...

but he is a being.

And he's human.

He wouldn't lift no finger to help us.

Deke, don't you know the Good Book says:

"Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you"?

Not as they "did" unto you.

That J.D. Hogg has done plenty to everybody in this community.

Everybody knows he's no...

- Sheriff. - What?

Any word on Boss? Is Lulu gonna buy him back?

Will you hush?

Oh, excuse me, ladies.

Listen, I just heard about it myself. So just hush.

Keep an eye peeled.

Rosco's probably got this place staked out.

You don't know what this is about?

I'll tell you what it's all about!

You sent me up for 10 years, Hogg. You know that?

That's right.

You know, back when I was in the moonshine business...

I figure I made about $10,000 a year.

That means you cheated me out of $100,000.

That's what your old lady and this town's gonna pay...

if they ever wanna see you alive again.

They'll never be able to raise that kind of money.

So what's going to happen then?

That's for me to know, you to find out.

Look, I got $100,000.

Only it's hid, back in town. Just let me go and I'll get it!

What do you take me for? A hollow head?

Let you go get it, huh?

I'm the only one who knows where it's hid at.

Are you trying to tell me your old lady...

doesn't know where that money is?

- Is that what you're saying? - Yeah, uh-uh.

I'll tell you something, Hogg.

You have till tomorrow noon!

You got till tomorrow noon.

And that's it!

In that case, what's for dinner?

I've been trying to get the money, but I can't.

I can't find it.

Listen, big sis, don't get yourself in an uproar.

There's nothing they're gonna do to that little Boss Hogg.

That's right. He's a good man.

Yes, he's a...

Let's face it, every dog gets a little mange now and then.

But I mean, look how he's treated me.

Just wonderful, an equal partner.

He pays 10% just like any...

- He's giving you 10%? - Yes, he just...

Was it something I said?

That just proves what a saint he is. Ten percent.

That man was generous to a fault.

Alright.

I can't believe Digger carted Boss off in broad daylight.

Nobody even tried to help him out, Daisy?

- Not a soul. - Luke, that's ridiculous.

I know people don't like Hogg. But it doesn't make sense.

Bo, will you just hold still?

Here we go.

That feels a whole lot better, thank you.

If we can find the General, we can save three hides at once.

What do you mean?

Me and Bo, and now Boss Hogg.

Cooter and me, we looked everywhere a car can go.

Yeah, I know, it's strange.

It seems like the ground just opened...

and swallowed the General clean up.

Maybe that's what it did. I mean...

maybe the General's somewhere where it...

appears like it's swallowed up.

Cooter and me, we only looked where a car could go...

we didn't look where some idiot might take the car.

Hickory Canyon.

If General's there...

he must've taken lot of beating getting there.

It's worth a look.

Take the Dixie. She'll handle rough terrain.

She'd be great, but we need more than one vehicle.

We'll have to split up once we get inside.

Whatever else we find...

we gotta make sure we'll be able to go off-road.

We could always get us three of the original off-road vehicles.

One thing about Hazzard...

even doing a tough job is sometimes more fun.

And you look good doing it.

I've been to the bank, the house, and all over...

That's why I can't raise the money, Jesse. It's empty.

We both know J.D.'s got enough money...

to pay Digger $100,000, and then some.

Sure. But I can't get my hands on it.

He keeps the safe empty so nobody can rob him.

Jesse, what are we gonna do? We don't have much time.

We should've brought parachutes instead of saddlebags.

As soon as we get across that ravine...

it's downhill all the way, fellas.

Yup.

Thank you, dear.

Well, don't that beat all?

Looks like Hazzard County is chipping in to get Boss back.

I bet if the Devil was from Hazzard...

they'd give him a helping hand.

You know what it is? It's a tribute. That's what it is.

Yeah. Tribute to our leader, Cousin Boss.

Chickabiddy always brought out the best in folks.

Yeah. Their money.

That old bridge is up ahead!

It's changed since we've seen it last.

We haven't been up here since we were kids.

What's your idea this time, Luke?

No use moaning about it. We'll just have to go the other way.

- Come on. - Daisy, come on back here.

Get back here, will you?

I don't know about y'all, but I believe I'd wade across.

Ain't that Daisy something?

Come on, fellas. Time's running out.

Looks like there's room for two more back there. Come on.

Come on.

Come on, partner.

Alright, now let's make some time.

That was good, could I have another piece of that?

You know, Hogg, I underestimated you.

You got more money than I thought.

- I ought to up the ante. - Name it. Whatever you want.

You let my other arm loose, I'll go get it.

Don't wanna hear about how your lady don't know where it is.

But it's the gospel. I swear it.

You don't know my Lulu.

That's 250 pounds on the hoof to feed!

If she knew where my money was hid, it'd be 500 pounds to feed.

That's the truth.

She likes sweets so much...

the chocolate people named her "Woman of the Year."

Woman of the Year.

You kill me.

Or maybe it's the other way around.

I got all greasy and sticky from that stuff.

Could you please give me a damp cloth...

or something, to freshen up?

Sure.

I'll get you a cloth.

I'm sorry, Lulu.

Everybody tried real hard...

but there just wasn't enough money or enough time.

I know.

And I wanna thank you all for trying.

Everyone knows that me and J.D...

didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things...

but I'd move a mountain right now to get him back to you.

Oh, Jesse, that's right human of you.

Lulu, don't give up now.

My kids are out there, looking for him.

They don't give up easy.

Despite what my chickabiddy says...

I always knew you was a good man.

Well... And strong, too.

Well, Hogg, you finished freshening up?

I'm all done with my hand but...

there's still my face, and I got a lot of that.

Hurry up, I don't like you untied.

Yeah.

Just like Luke planned...

the Dukes split up to cover more territory.

They're sure working hard to save a man...

that gives them nothing but trouble.

Bo, Daisy, this is Luke. You read me?

Go ahead, I read you, Cousin.

Loud and clear, Luke.

Any sign of the General?

That's a big negatory here.

Nothing here, Luke.

Keep moving. Boss can't have too much time left now.

- You got it. - That's a big 10-4.

Hear that, it's a rescue party.

They're coming up here to save my miserable hide.

- I mean, to save my life. - Simmer down, Hogg.

This Webster place is so well hid...

they wouldn't find it in a month of Sundays.

What time is it?

It's that time, Hogg. Time we was moving out.

Where are we going?

See if that money's where it should be.

With all these busybodies out here...

I'm gonna take you with me, just in case.

What have you done?

- What? Nothing. - Hogg.

I'm gonna skin your hide for this.

Bo, Daisy, you see what I see?

I see it, Cousin. Smoke to the west.

That's the old Webster place, ain't it?

Webster place? I thought that was deserted.

Doesn't look it's deserted no more, let's get going.

You hear that, they're coming for me!

Yeah, but you ain't gonna be here. So shut up!

But, uh, the chair here...

Hogg! Get out here!

Get out here to this car.

I'm coming but you didn't untie my other hand...

Hold it, Digger!

Hold on, Boss.

Boss, are you okay?

Of course I'm not okay. How do you think a Siamese chair feels?

Take a shortcut.

Bo and Luke got Digger so riled up...

he plumb forgot who was chasing who.

- That six-shot gun is empty. - Yeah?

Let's try to split up.

- You okay, Luke? - Yeah.

- Here's looking at you, honey. - Here's to you, sweetheart.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

J.D., I love you.

Lulu was sure glad to have old chickabiddy home.

"Chickabiddy." How do you reckon that got started?

Here you go, in here.

And Digger went home, too. Right back to the state pen.

Show him the other cell, maybe he'll like that one.

Here's a good one, it's got water, and a bed and...

A bill!

When the boys gave Boss a bill for damages to the General...

well, things were back to normal.

Even Boss' old speed trap was working normal.

And caught a pretty big fish this time.

♪ Goodbye Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh ♪

♪ Me gotta go pole the pirogue down the bayou ♪

♪ My Yvonne, the sweetest one, me oh my oh ♪

♪ Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou ♪

♪ Thibodaux, Fontaineaux the place is buzzin' ♪

♪ Kinfolk come to see Yvonne by the dozen ♪

♪ Dress in style, go hog wild, me oh my oh ♪

♪ Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou ♪

♪ Jambalaya, a crawfish pie and a fillet gumbo ♪

♪ For tonight I'm gonna see my ma cher amio ♪

♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gayo ♪

♪ Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou ♪

♪ Everything's gonna be alright now get me a pirogue ♪

♪ I'm gonna get me all the fish on the bayou ♪

♪ Trade my mon to buy Yvonne what she need-o ♪

♪ Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou ♪

♪ Jambalaya, a crawfish pie and a fillet gumbo ♪

♪ For tonight I'm gonna see my ma cher amio ♪

♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gayo ♪

♪ Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou ♪♪

You sure sing good, Freddie.

You will call me, Mr. Fender.

Until you tear up the ticket you gave me...

for driving 55 miles an hour.

Fifty-five?

Cletus, shame on you.

What are you giving him, a ticket for obeying the law?

It wasn't the speed limit. Boss changed it to 54 miles an hour.

Just for today. I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll tear it up, right now. Here!

- Now, can I call you Freddie? - No.

I'm going to take the advice...

from the Oak Ridge Boys, Tammy Wynette, and Hoyt Axton.

What advice is that?

Never to take a shortcut through Hazzard County on my day off.

And please don't drink the water.