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1
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:16,148
Stupid expired lunch meats,
why are you so affordable?
2
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,617
(loud gurgle)
3
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:22,221
What the?
Where's the toilet paper?
4
00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:39,004
I should have at least ten rolls
left.
5
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:43,976
Mr. Mumbles, toilet
paper is not a toy.
6
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:47,279
If you need to shred something,
that's why I stole Chris' shoe.
7
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:53,352
Mr. Mumbles? Where are you?
8
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,955
(mr. mumbles meow)
9
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,426
Don't tell me you've got a date
10
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,661
with that tabby across the
street,
11
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:06,098
the whole neighborhood knows
he's got a catnip problem.
12
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:06,698
(mr. mumbles meow)
13
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:13,105
If he's out by that dumpster
again, I'm gonna--
14
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,907
Sand?
15
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:16,575
Egyptian Cat worship?
16
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:18,610
Missing toilet paper?
17
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:24,516
MUMMY!
18
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:40,766
(smashing sound)
19
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,701
Ahh meatball shark!
20
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,403
Chris! I need to
use your bathroom!
21
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:45,337
Ugh, Dan.
22
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,206
Were those knives?
23
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,307
What knives?
24
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,879
Dan, remember our conversation
about visiting hours?
25
00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:54,740
(dan o.s.) What?
26
00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,540
I waited until morning
out of respect for you!
27
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,151
It's four o'clock.
28
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,419
(dan o.s.) ...in the morning!
29
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,188
What is this?
30
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,357
Where is the good toilet paper?
31
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:08,093
We only have one
kind of toilet paper.
32
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,495
Three ply?
33
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,364
You people are savages.
34
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,901
Anything less than five ply
might as well be sandpaper.
35
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:19,037
Well, I'm sorry if
our toilet paper isn't up
36
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,206
to your lofty standards.
37
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:24,209
You're only cheating yourself.
38
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:27,112
Why are you even using
our bathroom to begin with?
39
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,647
Did you break yours?
40
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,083
No, I didn't break mine.
41
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:32,451
I've been robbed.
42
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:35,587
Pilfered. Hijacked. Encrimed.
43
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,656
Not a real word.
44
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,225
The beauty of a living language
is you can make up new words
45
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:41,927
whenever you want.
46
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:45,264
Shakespeare did it,
you flueswonkler.
47
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,032
Anyway, this is beside the
point.
48
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,934
A mummy stole my toilet paper!
49
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:52,090
It's true.
50
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:57,600
Why would a mummy
steal your toilet paper?
51
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,645
Because it's super high end.
52
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:03,749
Imported Egyptian cotton.
I have a guy.
53
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:07,119
Where do you get the money to
splurge on fancy toilet paper.
54
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,287
Priorities, Chris.
55
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:11,223
When it's important
you find the money.
56
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,659
Does that mean I can
have my twenty dollars back?
57
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:16,295
I'm not even going to justify
that with an answer.
58
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,897
Are you sure you
didn't just run out?
59
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,899
Run out? Run out?!
60
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:24,136
I may not know the middle two
digits of my social security
61
00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:27,773
number, I may not know
what's actually in the jar
62
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:31,410
in my fridge marked
'not pickles' but,
63
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:34,546
I swear by Odin's frosty beard,
64
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:38,517
I know to the square how
much toilet paper I have
65
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,520
and I have been robbed!
66
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,188
Yeah, but a mummy?
67
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,990
Well, the History Museum did
just open a
68
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,291
new Egyptian exhibit.
69
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:50,028
Ah ha! See! Come on, Chris.
70
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,964
We have a mummy to revengenate.
71
00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,333
Not a word.
72
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,168
Okay, Dan. You can have
Chris for a little bit,
73
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,502
but I need him tonight.
74
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,304
We're going to M'Opera.
75
00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,872
It's a mime opera.
76
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,274
This is the last run of --
77
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,944
So, keep the mayhem
to a minimum.
78
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,779
I stopped listening
after 'platypus'.
79
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,082
I never said 'platypus'.
80
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:11,350
Didn't you?
81
00:04:11,690 --> 00:04:13,950
Hey, have you seen my
other sneaker?
82
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:19,825
I'm not exactly clear
on the plan.
83
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:23,795
The mummy stole my stuff, so
we're gonna steal his stuff.
84
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,931
Technically, isn't it the
museum's stuff?
85
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,866
And, isn't that a felony?
86
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:31,069
California penal code
eight thirty three dot four,
87
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,504
sub-paragraph B.
88
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,941
It's only a felony if
someone sees you doing it.
89
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:36,808
You're making that up.
90
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,310
Am I?
91
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:41,179
Alright, we need to
hide until after closing.
92
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,649
Dan, this place doesn't
close for another eight hours.
93
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:44,816
Why don't we just come back?
94
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:49,221
With that level of commitment,
it's no wonder Elise left you.
95
00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:50,689
What?! Elise didn't leave me!
96
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,525
Well, where has she been for the
last six months?
97
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:57,129
Dan, you just saw her at the
house not twenty minutes ago!
98
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,163
Quick, someone's coming!
99
00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:02,234
And here we have your typical
cavemen warming themselves
100
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:05,404
around the fire after a
long day hunting tasty,
101
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:06,371
succulent mammoth.
102
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:07,639
Mm!
103
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,542
Ugh, boring. Cavemen are dumb.
104
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,644
Look at that one,
he's so dirty.
105
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,212
And tiny.
106
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,180
And ugly.
107
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,420
Ow! The caveman just poked me!
108
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,688
Animatronics.
109
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:23,955
On to the New World.
110
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:25,691
Did you know the ancient Mayans
111
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,759
predicted the end
of my marriage?
112
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,461
(tour guide o.s.) Ha ha ha.
113
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,595
I'm so lonely.
114
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:35,667
Aw. It's foam rubber.
115
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,070
You expected real mammoth?
116
00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,772
Well, real mammoth flavoring at
least.
117
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,774
Now we wait.
118
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:48,080
Remember, hold perfectly still.
119
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:48,747
(chomp)
120
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,583
Still not mammoth.
121
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,185
Mind your own business.
122
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,028
Shouldn't we swing
by the Civil War
123
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,730
and grab a musket or something?
124
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:08,533
Chris, you don't use a civil
war musket to kill a mummy.
125
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,636
That's strictly swamp
creature weaponry.
126
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:23,415
Yes. This will do nicely.
127
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,755
Uh, Dan. You should see this.
128
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,256
(smash)
129
00:06:31,910 --> 00:06:33,820
Okay, you've got his
stuff, let's go.
130
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:34,780
If we go,
131
00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:37,990
how is he going to know that
I'm the one who got revenge?
132
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,464
You could leave a note?
133
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:40,365
(creak)
134
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:46,171
(groaning) Aaaaaaaahhhh!
135
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,173
Dan, I think maybe you
should give the stuff back.
136
00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:52,978
Man, that thing feels like it
gets smaller every night.
137
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:58,750
Hi, I'm Ahkenrah. Sup?
138
00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,484
Sup?
139
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:00,886
Sup!?
140
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:04,489
You broke into my apartment,
messed with my Mr. Mumbles
141
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:09,594
and stole my personal
toiletries, that's what's up!
142
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,896
Get him, Chris!
143
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:11,863
Why me?
144
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,632
Because you're the Chris.
145
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:14,966
Look, I don't want any trouble.
146
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,902
Do I have to do everything?
147
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:22,140
Hey, hey, ow, what
the heck, bro?
148
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:28,246
There! Vengence,
thy name is Dan.
149
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,614
Great. Can we go now?
150
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,349
Sure. Hold these.
151
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,251
Why?
152
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,288
Because if I get caught with
them, I'll go to jail.
153
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:41,593
You know getting revenge
on an apparently immortal
154
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,296
Pharaoh was much easier
than I would have thought.
155
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,799
That's what happens when I
declare something Persona-
156
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,100
Non-Dan.
157
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,902
That means someone
who isn't you.
158
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:56,341
Right, and because they aren't
me, they don't stand a chance.
159
00:07:56,343 --> 00:08:03,882
When I set my mind to
something, it's as good as...
160
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:04,516
...done?
161
00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,360
Oh, no. Mummy's curse!
Mummy's curse!
162
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:21,800
Uh, bro. Cut that out.
163
00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:24,236
Little help?
164
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,707
Your stuff is right
there. Take it.
165
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:30,609
What, that junk?
166
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,744
Keep it, it's all fake anyway.
167
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,981
Remind me to demand a
refund from the museum.
168
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,549
We snuck in, remember?
169
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,917
What's your point?
170
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,318
What are you doing here?
171
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,822
I dunno, I just got excavated,
you guys seemed cool.
172
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,290
I thought we could hang.
173
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,691
Hang? Hang?!
174
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,160
You stole my toilet paper!
175
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,796
Yeah, bro. My bad. Though
you can't really blame that on
176
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,732
me though, you're the only
one in a hundred miles
177
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,368
with rolls of Egyptian
cotton just laying around.
178
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,003
I needed a touch up.
179
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:04,442
Oh, nasty!
180
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,578
I've been in pyramids
younger than this sandwich.
181
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,614
That sandwich was
a collector's item!
182
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,616
That's it. Get out!
183
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:16,321
Chris! Help me!
184
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,857
I don't know, Dan. I don't
want to get cursed.
185
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,825
There is no mummy's curse.
186
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,128
There so is, dude.
187
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,963
Yeah, I'm not gonna risk it.
188
00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:27,300
So what am I supposed
to do with him?!
189
00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:28,900
Just ignore him.
190
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,160
That's what Elise
always tells me to do.
191
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:34,072
Why would Elise give you
advice on dealing with
192
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,041
annoying mummies?
193
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,009
Mummies... right.
194
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:38,877
Good night, Dan.
195
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:41,913
So, you wanna play pinochle?
196
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,251
Elise? You up?
197
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,819
I brought presents
from the museum.
198
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,693
Oh... ...crud.
199
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,265
Dan. Dan.
200
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:00,932
Dan?
201
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,167
Dan. Dan.
202
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:05,870
WHAT?!?!
203
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,939
Dan. Can I use this spoon?
204
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,950
Morning. Whatcha making?
205
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:21,620
Bacon?
206
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:25,523
For me?
207
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,425
I know, I screwed up.
208
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:32,097
But tonight, you and
me, M'Opera for sure.
209
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:35,800
Dan is...uh...uh occupied.
210
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,802
Promise?
211
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:38,436
I promise.
212
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:42,273
Thanks!
213
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:46,544
Morning, little man.
214
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,314
What are you still doing here?
215
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,116
Why aren't you back at the
museum?
216
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,385
That place is boring.
217
00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:55,387
I borrowed a shirt,
you don't mind do you?
218
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:59,891
First my toilet
paper, now my couture?
219
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:00,925
What are we doing today?
220
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,827
Well, I don't know what
you're going to do,
221
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,296
but I'm going to be trying
to get rid of you.
222
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,698
Hah up top.
223
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,635
Mr. Mumbles, come
have some cereal.
224
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:14,239
Breakfast is the most
important meal of the day.
225
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,709
Oh, look. She likes me.
226
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,945
Who's the earthly
embodiment of Bastet?
227
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:23,915
You are. Yes, you are.
228
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,216
(purrs loudly)
229
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,084
E tu, Mr. Mumbles?
230
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:29,354
Ack!
231
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:31,823
Sorry.
232
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,059
Had a bad case of
scarabs for years now.
233
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,761
Just can't get rid of
the little buggers.
234
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:43,034
That's it. I need to...
run to the store for... a
235
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,436
A new chandelier.
236
00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:48,206
I'll be right back. Wait here.
237
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:53,411
Hello?
238
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,146
Chris? I'm coming over.
239
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,781
The mummy never went
home last night.
240
00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:58,640
Who is this?
241
00:11:58,640 --> 00:11:59,420
Shut up.
242
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,020
We've got to get rid of
him, he's driving me crazy.
243
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,154
Well, don't bring
him here.
244
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,756
I told Elise you were
busy today.
245
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:08,159
Don't be an idiot.
I left him at my place.
246
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,260
I'll be there in a second.
247
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,163
No, Dan. I'm serious.
248
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,599
I can't. Dan. Dan?
249
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,036
Ah, crud.
250
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,471
What?
251
00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:21,106
Aw, crud.
252
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,240
What?
253
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,642
What are you doing here?
254
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,445
I'm four thousand
years old, bro.
255
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,681
You really think I'm gonna fall
for 'gotta run to the market'?
256
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,290
If Elise comes home and finds
him, she's gonna kill me.
257
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,825
Get him out of here.
258
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,495
What do you think
I've been trying to do?
259
00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:46,131
Actually, I was
talking to Ahkenrah.
260
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,199
Elise!
261
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,168
You're back?
262
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,804
Or did you just come to collect
your things before moving on?
263
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,405
Dan, stop that.
264
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,808
Chris, is that a
mummy on our couch?
265
00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:58,570
Whoa!
266
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:01,880
You dudes never told me you
were living with a goddess.
267
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,815
Let me take those off
your hands, my lady.
268
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:08,386
I'm Ahkenrah, Fourteenth King
of the Neferankon Dynasty.
269
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:12,123
It's very nice to meet you,
your majesty. I'm Elise.
270
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,692
In my day, you would've
been Elise-opatra,
271
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,461
Queen of the Nile!
272
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,631
A shimmering goddess who walks
amongst mortals swathed in the
273
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,999
finest gold and jewels.
274
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,067
Hey, I got her those!
275
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:24,269
You stole them.
276
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:26,037
They're fake!
277
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,173
Well, your highness, I
was about to make some lunch.
278
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,274
Care to join me?
279
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,910
Only if you let me cook
it for you.
280
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,011
Deal.
281
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:34,646
Mummy's curse!
282
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:39,284
That was delicious.
283
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,820
It's nice to have
someone else do the cooking...
284
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:43,855
I cook.
285
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,390
...and leave some for me.
286
00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:47,892
Well, it is so nice to
have someone to talk to,
287
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:51,840
besides Dan, I mean. He's
always complaining.
288
00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:53,160
Tell me about it.
289
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,800
Between him and Elise, it's
like I can't do anything right.
290
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:56,568
Him and who?
291
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,670
What? I'm pretty sure I didn't
say anything...and I'm sorry?
292
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,941
So, Ahkenrah, would you
be interested in seeing
293
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,008
the M'Opera?
294
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,009
I have a spare ticket.
295
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:05,944
We have three tickets?
296
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,912
No.
297
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:09,914
It would be an honor, my lady.
298
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,082
Excellent.
299
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,384
Chris, you stay here
and play with Dan.
300
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,118
Later, bros.
301
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:19,791
So, not only did she leave you,
she left you for a guy who's
302
00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:22,360
been dead for four
thousand years.
303
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,662
Elise did not leave me.
304
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:25,897
(vroom)(honk)
305
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,165
(elise o.s.)
Bye! Don't wait up.
306
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,235
Okay, he's got to go.
307
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:30,969
Finally.
308
00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:44,415
Maybe, I don't know, could
we unravel him?
309
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,884
Great, then we've got a naked
310
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:50,722
four thousand year old dead
guy we can't get rid of.
311
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,923
Light him on fire?
312
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,392
That's your answer to
everything; the yoga studio,
313
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,996
the mailman, cottage cheese.
314
00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:58,863
I've got it!
315
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,833
Get on your computer.
316
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:08,640
Find out where we can buy a
couple thousand frogs and two,
317
00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:12,844
no three million locusts.
318
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:17,782
Oh, and do a search on 'LA
river' and 'turn to blood'.
319
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:20,919
We're not recreating
the plagues, Dan.
320
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,453
Oh, come on.
321
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,988
That's what you said last time!
322
00:15:24,310 --> 00:15:27,180
How about just 'mummy
problem'?
323
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,280
Here we go.
324
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,730
There's a store in Little
Egypt that sells mummy supplies.
325
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,632
Where is Little Egypt?
326
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,000
East Pasadena.
327
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:37,168
It's like twenty miles away.
328
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,203
Twenty miles?!
329
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:42,540
It might as well be real
Egypt. You're driving.
330
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,143
And I'm not paying for gas.
331
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,010
When have you ever?
332
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,398
Welcome to Crazy Habbab's
where you'll always find a
333
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,000
pyramid of savings.
334
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,234
You're Crazy Habbab?
335
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:11,869
Actually, I'm Larry.
336
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,171
Crazy Larry?
337
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:15,940
No, just regular Larry.
338
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,508
We've got a little mummy
problem.
339
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:24,615
Great, how much?
340
00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:25,960
Five bucks each.
341
00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:27,120
Twenty total.
342
00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:29,180
What are you doing?
343
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,020
This is Little Egypt,
We're supposed to haggle .
344
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,926
We'll give you one penny each.
345
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,828
Five bucks each.
346
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,063
Ten cents each.
347
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:39,931
Five bucks.
348
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:40,965
One dollar.
349
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,034
Five. Bucks.
350
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,335
Three.
351
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,973
Five.
352
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:51,676
Fine! Five, but I'm
taking this lollipop.
353
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,745
Those are twenty five cents.
354
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:54,379
Chris, pay the man.
355
00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:06,824
I really thought that the wind
was going to blow him over.
356
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,095
Feel the wrath of Dan!
357
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,966
Ah, what the--
Hey, cut that out.
358
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:17,402
Chris, what are you doing?
359
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:21,339
I will not be replaced by
another man. Not even a king!
360
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:22,590
Replaced?
361
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:26,340
And I will not let you
turn Mr. Mumbles against me,
362
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:29,981
you... you.... Feline filcher!
363
00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:31,649
Gah! What is that stuff?
364
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:36,120
It's anti-mummy spray.
Why aren't you melting?
365
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,589
Seriously. Quit it.
366
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,891
I'm starting to get
cheesed off here.
367
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,793
Get him in the mouth!
368
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:42,860
Ack, pfft!
369
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,295
Come on guys I mean it.
370
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,196
I'm... Aaaaarggggh!
371
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:48,933
Ha! It worked.
372
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:54,338
Kind of...Ow!
373
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:56,741
We should do something.
374
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,209
I want to see
how this plays out.
375
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,277
Rrrraaaaaawwwwwrrrr!
376
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:10,955
Help me!
377
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:16,194
Oh, gross.
378
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:20,431
You think that's gross,
I got some in my mouth.
379
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:23,468
Technically, I was just helping.
380
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,570
Uh, oh.
381
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:26,704
Curse. Right?
382
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,739
Grrrraaaaaaaa--
383
00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:30,641
(sharp whistle)
384
00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:33,978
Mrrrrraaaaawwww?
385
00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:39,784
(smash)
386
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,121
Hit him over the head?
387
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,790
Seriously, that's
all you had to do?
388
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,994
Thanks. You look
fantastic by the way.
389
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,964
Thanks, my husband
got it for me.
390
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,399
How could you think I
was replacing you?
391
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:57,135
I just wanted you to
see what it's like,
392
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,637
not getting to spend time
with the person you love.
393
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:04,442
Uggh, get a room.
394
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,476
Dan, this is our house.
395
00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:08,112
What now?
396
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:11,916
What are the police doing here?
397
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:15,353
Probably investigating
those artifacts you stole.
398
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,989
We can't just walk
him in without being seen.
399
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:21,526
Don't worry, I have a plan.
Help me strip him down.
400
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:26,230
(groan)
401
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,469
Rrrraaaaawwwrrr!
402
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:35,907
(girlish screams)
403
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:36,574
All clear.
404
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,920
Quick, in the coffin.
405
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:40,060
Sarcophagus.
406
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:43,910
Why do you always have to be
the smartest person in the room?
407
00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:44,949
There's a label right on it.
408
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:49,654
Lid.
409
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:52,423
Elise. My tools.
410
00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:58,563
Is it weirder that Dan
knows how to use that,
411
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,799
or that we had one in the
garage and I didn't know it.
412
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,969
Oh, there's much
weirder stuff in the garage.
413
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:05,930
What?
414
00:20:05,935 --> 00:20:06,765
Nothing.
415
00:20:07,710 --> 00:20:08,670
There.
416
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:11,200
He's not getting out of
that for at least another
417
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,350
four thousand years.
418
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,120
(thumping)
Hey! Not cool, bro. Not cool.
419
00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:18,130
Let's go.
420
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:24,610
Finally.
421
00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:27,620
You have no idea how annoying
it was having him just
422
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,327
hanging around.
423
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,696
Yeah, no idea. I'm sure.
424
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,931
Why are you still
carrying the bandages?
425
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,367
You really think I'm going to
go out and spend another fifteen
426
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,369
dollars on toilet paper?
427
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,037
What am I made of diamonds?
428
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:41,372
Good night, Dan.
429
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,506
Oh, and I'm telling
you right now,
430
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:44,575
I'm not free tomorrow night.
431
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:48,112
Elise and I are going
to the Amish ballet.
432
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,514
If she ever comes back.
433
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:51,582
Good night, Dan.
434
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:11,569
Fine.
435
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,005
But I'm keeping
a square for myself.
436
00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:21,579
We are so not friends
anymore, jerk.
437
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:24,448
You're the jerk!
438
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,085
I guess you'll have to do.
439
00:21:36,261 --> 00:21:38,062
(dan o.s.)
Oh, come on!
440
00:21:38,112 --> 00:21:42,662
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