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1
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:14,697
Hello?
2
00:00:14,698 --> 00:00:17,116
Greetings drone, any special
requests for Thursday?
3
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,083
I'm at the store.
4
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,019
Thursday, What?
5
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,954
Oh Dan, please don't
tell me you forgot.
6
00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:24,223
How could I forget?!
7
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,458
I love our little
Thanksgiving tradition.
8
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,261
I'm buying the ingredients
to my secret recipe'd,
9
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,430
world famous deviled eggs!
10
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,716
So there you go.
11
00:00:33,717 --> 00:00:36,001
I have forgotten nothing,
Thanksgiving is saved.
12
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:38,237
Hurrah and three cheers
for me.
13
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:38,804
Dan-
14
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:39,638
At least one cheer.
15
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,641
DAN!
16
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:45,643
STOP YELLING AT ME
I AM AT THE STORE!
17
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,280
Now look, you've
caused a scene.
18
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,149
Everything's fine folks.
19
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:55,320
I've gotten him under control.
Go back to consuming.
20
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:56,855
People, huh?
21
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,557
No manners these days.
22
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,025
You know we're going
to Elise's parents'
23
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,660
for Thanksgiving, right?
24
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:02,828
WHAT?!
25
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,329
I can't believe you forgot.
26
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:05,731
I mean I've told
you, I don't know,
27
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,966
umpteen billion times.
28
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:12,337
No one has ever told anyone
the same thing that many times!
29
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:16,075
Your lies unspool as they
spill from your lips,
30
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:18,410
you giant toolbox!
31
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,545
(chris on phone)
Dan, Calm down?!
32
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,013
CALM DOWN--
33
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:24,550
When stupid Elise and her
dumb donkey parents are
34
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,052
continuing their quest
to reprogram you?
35
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,720
Don't be absurd.
36
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:32,057
What about friendship?
What about tradition?
37
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,693
What about your bacon
wrapped turducken?
38
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,495
I may not care for the duck,
39
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:41,800
but the bacon, tur, and ken
are mellifluously delectable.
40
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,902
I'll make it next year,
but Dan-
41
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,037
Next year.
42
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:48,740
NEXT YEAR?!
43
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,409
I'll show you next year!
44
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,344
You'd better tell your
old lady's parents
45
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,847
to make sure they
have good insurance!
46
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:56,048
Insurance?
47
00:01:56,050 --> 00:02:01,153
BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BURN
THEIR HOUSE TO THE GROUND!
48
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,856
Dan? Hey Dan?
49
00:02:03,858 --> 00:02:12,598
FAMILY THANKSGIVING!!!
50
00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:29,081
Ah! My sphenoid!
51
00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:31,316
Dan!
What are you doing?!
52
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:35,020
ME?! You're the one who's
stealing Thanksgiving!
53
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,505
AHH!
54
00:02:36,506 --> 00:02:37,989
Dan! STOP IT!
You're invited.
55
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:41,059
Don't you tell me-- wait, what?
56
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,528
Like we told you.
57
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,897
Like umpteen billion times.
58
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:47,432
My parents asked us to
invite you along.
59
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:50,836
...R-Really?
60
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,971
I don't believe you.
61
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,073
How can you not
remember any of this?!
62
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:58,310
They specifically asked you
to bring your deviled eggs.
63
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:02,748
In... vited? Me?
64
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:10,122
So confused... need to...
sit down. I... accept?
65
00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,374
Wonderful.
66
00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:14,625
Now get your car off my lawn
before I bury you under it.
67
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,063
To replace the eggs you broke.
68
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,569
This SUCKS.
69
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,771
We've been in the car for DAYS.
70
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:28,307
Would have been a lot
quicker if SOMEONE
71
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,108
wasn't on the no-fly list.
72
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:34,379
Well, why don't your stupid
parents just move closer?
73
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,316
They were going to and then
you tried to frame my dad
74
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,117
and almost got him killed
by the mafia.
75
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:42,020
And then a chainsaw slasher.
76
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:47,025
(chuckles)
Oh yeah... Good times.
77
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,098
Hey, sis.
78
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,600
Hi, Ben!
79
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,903
Hey, Ben. Hi-five!
80
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,172
I see you're still
putting on weight.
81
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,010
No. I'm allergic to cats.
82
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:08,614
That must be very sad for you.
83
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,749
That cat is not coming inside.
84
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,419
Fine. No Mr. Mumbles, no Dan.
85
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,704
We'll live.
86
00:04:15,705 --> 00:04:16,988
(mumbling to himself)
"They wanted you to come"...
87
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:18,991
Ben!
What did you say to Dan?
88
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:19,891
MOM....
89
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,727
He's trying to bring
a cat in here.
90
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,162
He is our guest.
Get inside.
91
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:27,666
Dan honey?
Come on back.
92
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:28,900
(to himself)
...honey?
93
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,939
Hi Junior, so glad you're home.
94
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,907
Mom, I've asked you
not to call me--
95
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,042
Hi, dad.
96
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,144
Sweetheart.
97
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,046
Hey guys, great to be here.
98
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,180
Don..
99
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,749
Chris.
100
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,619
Dan, it is so nice to finally
have you to our home.
101
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,187
Isn't it nice, Don?
102
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,957
(don chuckles)
Almost too nice.
103
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,026
Tell me Dan, you did
bring those wonderful
104
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:55,961
deviled eggs of yours.
105
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,796
I... did.
106
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,599
Well let me put them in
the fridge for you.
107
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:03,168
O... kay.
108
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,269
Are you thirsty?
109
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,371
Would you like some
pink lemonade?
110
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:09,174
Um... sure.
111
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,614
Do you think they're
trying to kill me?
112
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:16,848
Well, maybe.
113
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:17,983
Why?!
114
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,718
You tried to kill them.
115
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,722
HAVE them killed.
There's a difference.
116
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:24,656
Knock! Knock!
117
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,824
Dan, why don't you
come with me.
118
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,426
We've got your room all set up.
119
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,561
Um, that's okay.
120
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:32,831
Mr. Mumbles and I were just
going to bunk on the floor.
121
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,200
Nonsense. We have a nice
bed made up for you.
122
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,752
Come on.
123
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,303
If I don't get them
before they get me,
124
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:42,874
raise Mr. Mumbles as
if she were your own.
125
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:46,078
AH!
126
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:51,983
Ah! Ah! My skin!
127
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,787
Listen Dan,
128
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:59,458
Don and I feel we've been too
hard on you in the past.
129
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,426
(startled)
Ah!
130
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:01,393
My ears are burning.
131
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:04,930
The thing is, son, we were
looking at you as the friend
132
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:08,900
of the loser who probably
ruined our daughter's life.
133
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,836
Now Don, be nice.
134
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,270
Sorry, honey.
135
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,773
But he's not totally wrong.
We didn't even give you a
136
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,876
chance, and understand why
you lashed out at us.
137
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,379
It doesn't matter.
It's all in the past.
138
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,614
You are a welcome
guest in our home.
139
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:25,851
Is there anything I can get
for you? Anything at all.
140
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:30,055
I... um ... more pillows?
141
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:33,592
Let me get those for you sport.
142
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:35,610
MOM....
143
00:06:35,611 --> 00:06:36,560
There's a cat in my room?!
144
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,697
I'm gonna puff up
and everything.
145
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,232
Don't worry about
that, sweetie,
146
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,767
Dan will be sleeping
here tonight.
147
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:42,501
WHAT?!
148
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,035
Where am I gonna sleep?
149
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,170
In your sister's room.
150
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,539
But she's in there with fatso.
151
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,007
You scoot.
152
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:53,478
Can it be for real,
Mr. Mumbles?
153
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,980
(mr. mumbles)
Mrroh.
154
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:57,115
Yeah, I can't tell either.
155
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,885
They seem to actually
want me here.
156
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,587
It's just so weird.
157
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,689
(mr. mumbles)
Mrow.
158
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:08,326
I agree.
We'll sleep in shifts.
159
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:13,565
So, this is teenaged
Elise's diary?
160
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:14,966
It's a journal.
161
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:19,004
Mom's making me sleep
in here tonight.
162
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,272
Glad to have you, Ben!
163
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,274
This'll be-ACCH!
164
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,342
Pillow fight.
165
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:27,412
This is all very nice of
you, but really, I'm fine.
166
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:30,949
Okay. Well you sleep tight.
167
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,827
(elise to herself)
What could they be up to...
168
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,329
Chris? Chris, are you awake?
169
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:49,067
(chris dreaming)
...nachos beat tacos, I win...
170
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,268
Typical.
171
00:07:57,544 --> 00:08:00,011
How much longer are we
going to have to humor
172
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,480
that little creep?
173
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,648
Until we find out
how he makes them.
174
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:07,752
This seems like a long way to
go for a deviled egg recipe.
175
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:10,789
Don, you know they taste exactly
like the ones my mother made
176
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:14,259
only for special occasions.
Took the recipe to her grave,
177
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,694
selfish old bat.
178
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,863
For years I've tried
to replicate it.
179
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:22,100
It seemed hopeless until
I tasted Dan's....
180
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,502
It Turned out that
little good-for-nothing
181
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,537
is actually good for one thing.
182
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,839
Do we really have to have
Thanksgiving dinner
183
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,841
with that goon?
184
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,176
Not if I can help it.
185
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:35,247
I'm going downstairs right now
to grab an egg for analysis.
186
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:43,555
(elise sr. calling out)
Is there somebody in there?
187
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,326
No, No, NOOO!
188
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,929
AHHHHHH......
189
00:08:55,669 --> 00:09:00,038
WHAT.. ARE YOU..
DOING TO MY WIFE?!
190
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,375
(all struggling to separate)
191
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:06,778
(ben laughs)
192
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:07,746
(ben yelling)
Ah..AH..AH..
193
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,614
The cat's touching me!
194
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:12,484
(ben yelling)
Ahhh! It's happening!!
195
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,693
Chris! What is the
meaning of this?
196
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:27,098
I flurred. Ahh...
So much light!
197
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,969
(ben choking)
Somebody! My medicine.
198
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,805
First you ruin my
special holiday dish,
199
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:38,043
then you make a mess and
disturb this entire house.
200
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,612
How do you think this
reflects on me?
201
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:43,114
Insult upon insult, sir!
202
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,215
Mom, dad, I'm sorry.
203
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:47,485
He sleepwalks sometimes.
We'll clean this up.
204
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:51,256
Why won't anyone help me?
205
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,391
No, no, no.
I'll take care of it.
206
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:56,027
You take your...husband,
upstairs.
207
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,295
I'll get you some rope.
208
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,330
Dad.
209
00:09:58,332 --> 00:10:03,301
I'm sorry about my friend,
Mrs... Elise's mom.
210
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,703
Call me Elise.
211
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,204
And don't you worry
about Chris.
212
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,940
I'm just sorry we didn't get
to taste your deviled eggs.
213
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,742
You know, I could go to
the store with you.
214
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,445
We could get everything you
need to make a new batch.
215
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:14,679
Hmm.
216
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,849
You know what?
217
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,316
I think I have
everything I need here,
218
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,519
if you don't mind me
using your stuff.
219
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,521
Not at all. I could help.
220
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,424
Oh, no. Secret family recipe.
221
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,860
Stole it from my grandma
on her deathbed.
222
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,328
I completely understand.
223
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,464
Hey, let me at least
boil the eggs for you.
224
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:36,735
I wouldn't hear of it.
There's a trick to that, too.
225
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,403
Ahh.....ha ha ha
226
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:41,773
I'll boil the eggs tonight
and be-devil them tomorrow.
227
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:44,275
I'll see myself to bed.
Good night!
228
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,978
Good night, honey.
229
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:56,087
Covered pot. 6 minutes
boil, 6 minutes steam...
230
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,624
Um, Elise?
231
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:00,325
Morning.
232
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,661
What did we do last night?
233
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:05,897
Will you two shut up?
I'm trying to sleep, here.
234
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,198
Sorry, Ben.
235
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,600
Shut up, fatso.
236
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:10,385
Hey.
237
00:11:10,386 --> 00:11:12,169
I found out why my parents
are being so nice to Dan.
238
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,338
They're drunk?
239
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,807
They want his
deviled eggs recipe.
240
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:16,875
Really?
241
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,077
Long story short,
242
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,278
they intend to steal his recipe
and then shun him forever.
243
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:25,016
Maybe it's in everybody's best
interest if we don't tell him.
244
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,751
As long as he thinks he's
wanted, we can get through
245
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,653
Thanksgiving with no fires.
246
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:33,491
and that's why all through
10th grade they called him
247
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:34,492
"Ploppers".
248
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,594
(don laughing)
249
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,397
That's the best thing
I've heard all year.
250
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,432
Seconds?
251
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:42,067
Yes please!
252
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,135
And thanks for making
the omelet with oil
253
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,670
instead of milk and butter.
254
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,405
Well, It's the holidays.
255
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,175
I love to cook for my family.
256
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,544
May I have some breakfast?
257
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,245
You eat last.
258
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:54,979
Aww...
259
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:56,347
Morning everyone!
260
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,348
Hi, Junior.
261
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,349
Hi, Junior.
262
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:01,119
...Don't call me "Junior".
263
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:02,554
Oh, let me take that for you.
264
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:03,688
Thank you.
265
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,091
You know, you two have
been so welcoming,
266
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:09,227
that when I be-devil my eggs,
I'll not only make sure
267
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,429
Mr. Mumbles stays
out of the kitchen,
268
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:14,966
I'll even wash my hands.
269
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,501
Are you sure I can't help?
270
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:20,472
I appreciate it, but I really
must keep this recipe
271
00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:22,373
top secret.
272
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,576
Like grandma thought she did...
273
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,024
I still don't think
this is worth it.
274
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:43,261
It's bad enough
we have... Chris.
275
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,796
Oh hush, Don.
276
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:48,233
Oh, what is that big
galoot doing now?
277
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,734
Hi Dan, how're the
eggs coming?
278
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:52,070
You're not supposed to be here!
279
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,539
Mr. Mumbles isn't even
allowed in here.
280
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,142
Then why is she licking
that spoon?
281
00:12:57,144 --> 00:13:01,646
Mr. Mumbles!
That's not for kitties!
282
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,256
Hey, this is really cute.
283
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,925
What's it doing in
the kitchen?
284
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,561
No, No NO!
He took the camera!
285
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,296
Why are you so surprised?
286
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,465
That lummox ruins everything.
287
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,901
Does this mean we can
kick Dan out now?
288
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,720
Not yet.
289
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,538
I need to analyze an egg
from the new batch.
290
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:28,606
You could sneak off during
the family football game
291
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:32,177
and grab one while I'm pounding
the stuffing out of Chris.
292
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,444
I love you, Don.
293
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:40,151
Okay kids, ready?
294
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,486
Ready!
295
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,629
Ahh!!
296
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:51,830
Nice three point stance, sport.
297
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,464
Thanks, Don!
298
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,232
Hut!
299
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:58,736
Ha!
300
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:01,706
Booyah!
301
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:06,444
Ha! That's my boy!
Look at him go!
302
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,947
(? scottish bagpipes ?)
303
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,114
Hey hey hey!
304
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:15,353
You're going down, sister.
305
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,188
Take it down a notch, Dan.
306
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,892
I'm going to run you over
like a freight train, son.
307
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,994
Did you just call me son?
308
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:23,962
Hut! Hut!
309
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,766
It's... two-hand touch.
310
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,603
Nice hit!
311
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:33,037
Chris! Are you okay?
312
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:33,905
(chris wheezing)
313
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:36,307
Dad! That was way out of line.
314
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,676
Don't talk to your father
like that, Junior.
315
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,378
Don't call me Junior!
316
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,947
It's. Your. NAME.
317
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,749
I'm going to my room!
318
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:48,119
Always the drama queen.
319
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,854
I'm going to go
check on the bird.
320
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,490
Ha!
321
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:53,391
(hushed fury)
No!
322
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,061
Without Junior,
they don't really have much
323
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,162
of a team, do they.
324
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,567
Are you getting up or what?
325
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,669
You're making me look
bad in front of Don.
326
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:05,770
As usual.
327
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,538
You don't even like Don!
328
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,707
He's one of my closest friends!
329
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,176
Don is not your friend!
330
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,778
Of course he is!
331
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,046
They are lying to you!
332
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,948
They don't really
like you at all.
333
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:20,084
You're just jealous because
I've connected to Elise's
334
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,488
parents on a way deeper
level than you ever will.
335
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:26,658
They just want your
deviled egg recipe.
336
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:31,396
No, they wouldn't...
That's not true.
337
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,532
It is true.
338
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,667
Once they have it, they never
want to see you again.
339
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:40,438
Ahhh... Rrraahhh...
uuurhh, my head...
340
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,807
I. Will.
341
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,108
Burn this house...
342
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,243
Dan-
343
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:48,112
TO THE GROUND!
344
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,160
Why do I have to sit
at the kids' table?
345
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,628
There's no room, son.
346
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:07,799
We had to make a
space for our guest.
347
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:13,538
Look who wanted to join us.
348
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,239
Um, sport?
349
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:18,209
Do you really think it's
a good idea to have
350
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,845
a cat on the table?
351
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,982
Isn't that what
Thanksgiving's about?
352
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:27,919
Sharing it with those that
we genuinely, truly,
353
00:16:27,921 --> 00:16:30,488
honestly care for?
354
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:36,294
Aw, she thinks she's people.
Who likes trimmings?
355
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,731
You do. You do.
356
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:42,834
Oh look, I see the deviled
egg plate is empty.
357
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,169
Why don't I go get the
rest out of the fridge.
358
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,305
I wouldn't dream of it.
Let me.
359
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,308
No no, I insist.
360
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:53,711
Remember, one of those eggs
needs to be put aside
361
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:54,946
to analyze.
362
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:01,819
Your sacrifice will be great,
unfertilized non-babies,
363
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,755
but it shall not be forgotten.
364
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:06,624
Now, you want my
secret so much?
365
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:09,427
Well I'll give it to you.
366
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,332
Ow! Hey.
367
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:19,871
The grown-ups table always gets
first dibs, you silly goose.
368
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:28,079
AHH! Acch!
369
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,814
What is this, poison?!
370
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,050
It's vinegar!
371
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,552
Apple cider vinegar,
to be exact!
372
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,754
A whole bottle's worth.
373
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,290
Graa! I'm gonna be sick...
374
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:42,660
Why?! Why would you do this
when we've been nothing but
375
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:43,694
nice to you?
376
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,464
Only for your own
nefarious gains.
377
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,533
What are you talking about?!
378
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:51,002
You only invited me here
because you wanted to
379
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:54,972
steal my secret family recipe
and then throw me away.
380
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,675
Of course that's the only
reason we invited you!
381
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,244
Have you ever met you?!
382
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,814
A-HA!
383
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:04,549
Get out of my house!
384
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:06,617
FINE!
385
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:10,154
And take that mangy
furball with you!
386
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,223
(mr. mumbles)
mrow!
387
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,291
It's not mange!
She's just not very good
388
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,527
at licking herself...
389
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,230
Darn it Don, we were so close.
390
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:23,134
No more! And if there is no
cranberry sauce, so help me
391
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:26,237
I will smother everyone
in this house.
392
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:30,575
Well Mr. Mumbles,
it's come full circle.
393
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,477
You know what they say:
394
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:35,313
If you can't beat them,
join them.
395
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:40,618
If you can't join them...
burn their house to the ground!
396
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,654
Vinegar is stinging my sinuses.
397
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,759
Yeah, that was crummy of Dan.
398
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:51,229
But so was inviting someone
to Thanksgiving dinner
399
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:53,131
just to steal from them
and make them believe
400
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,600
they're cared about when
they're really not.
401
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:58,836
Especially Dan.
He's dangerously unstable.
402
00:18:58,838 --> 00:18:59,904
I think you're right, Elise.
403
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:01,639
We did let this get out of hand.
404
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,942
You can't seriously be
thinking of letting him
405
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,644
back in our home?
406
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,945
It's only right, Don.
407
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:11,949
Thanks, mom. That's very...
reasonable of you.
408
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,451
Don't patronize me, Junior.
409
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,586
Stop calling me Junior!
410
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,155
I'll invite him in for dessert.
411
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,390
If he touches my cobbler
412
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:22,860
I swear I'm putting my
thumbs through his eyes.
413
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:28,065
PHASE THREE!
414
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,401
Unhand me, yankee!
415
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:33,471
Dan, calm down.
They want to apologize.
416
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:38,476
That's just what they'd have
you say, Bernadette Arnold!
417
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:42,079
Dan, please. I am truly sorry
for how we've treated you.
418
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,447
Betrayed me!
419
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,983
Played me for a fool.
A sap.
420
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,819
A real mammajook over here.
421
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,522
I know and it was wrong.
422
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,324
(to herself)
Mammajook?
423
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:56,060
My actions were inexcusable.
We really feel bad about what
424
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:59,564
we did and we're sorry.
Right Don?
425
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,133
Uh, sure. Bad.
426
00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:05,102
You people lure me here
under false pretenses,
427
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,773
you try to steal from me
manipulate me;
428
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:15,179
and now you have the unmitigated
gall to ask my forgiveness?!
429
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,281
They really mean it
this time, Dan.
430
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:18,749
They know they were
in the wrong.
431
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:22,653
But we really do like you Dan,
and enjoy your company.
432
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:31,195
Like?... Enjoy... Me?
I... So... torn.
433
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:34,699
Revenge!...Forgiveness?
434
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:38,502
...So much pressure
in my head-gna-
435
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,673
(mr. mumbles)
meow
436
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:43,474
Fire!
437
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:44,475
My drapes!
438
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:45,726
Hello?
439
00:20:45,727 --> 00:20:46,309
Fire Department?
440
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:47,612
Our house is on fire!
441
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,580
What? Hold?
442
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,414
Hello?
443
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,287
Oh no! The recipe!
444
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,188
Mom!
445
00:20:57,190 --> 00:20:58,556
I mean Dan, I guess.
446
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:18,009
Did you know, the actual story
of Thanksgiving is a bit darker
447
00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:20,745
than what they teach in school.
For instance-
448
00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:24,115
Enough! Everyone
just go to sleep.
449
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,485
Anyone still awake in five
minutes gets a smothering.
450
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,386
Don.
451
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:33,190
The foot is down.
452
00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:37,862
Hey guys, you know what
I'm thankful for?
453
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,196
Friendship.
454
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:39,964
(everyone)
Shut up, Dan.
455
00:21:40,014 --> 00:21:44,564
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