Original subtitles

Another great turkey sandwich from The Sub-Marine.

Italian roll, spicy mustard, mayo,

no cheese, no meddling vegetables.

You know, you might be the perfect food.

I like you, Dan. You're always right.

Thanks, talking sandwich.

Aw! I've got to stop eating candy for dinner.

Shut up, we're almost there.

What the...?

What's going on here?

What happened to my sandwich shop?

Bonjour, monsieur. Welcome to Caf?� Pure?�,

a fancy restaurant specializing in French cuisine.

We have replaced the--

what do you call it, The Sandwich Soldier?

The Sub-Marine!

They had the world's best turkey sandwich.

How's your turkey sandwich?

Monsieur, we do not serve

Ie turkey sandwich at Caf?� Pure?�.

What?! No turkey sandwich?

I thought you said this was a restaurant.

- What do you have? - Voil?�!

This is in French! I can't read French.

What is the problem here?

Monsieur wishes a turkey sandwich.

You disgust me.

My entire menu

is a personal vision of culinary genius.

Well, why don't you personally visualize me

a turkey sandwich?!

FANCY RESTAURANT!!!

And one, and two, and three,

and four, shake it!

- Oh, yeah, feel the burn. - Uh, yeah.

I'll get it.

The Sub-Marine has been exterminated

and some caf?� crap?� has moved in.

I need your help getting revenge.

- Come on. - Hold on.

Do you mean Caf?� Pure?�, the new fancy restaurant?

You knew about this? And you didn't inform me?

That, sir, is obstruction of justice.

There have been ads everywhere for the last two months for Caf?� Pure?�.

Did you just say Caf?� Pure?�?

The new place by Jack Pure?�, the world's famous chef?

Yes.

Oh, hey, Chris, do you mind getting me another towel?

Sure, I'll be right back.

Dan, is Chris taking me to Caf?� Pure?�?

- Um... - I knew it!

It's our anniversary tonight, I completely forgot.

- Uh... - Do not tell Chris I forgot.

- He's very sensitive. - Um...

Do you hear me, monkey? Do not tell him!

Elise, you're hurting me.

- Here's your towel, gorgeous. - Thanks.

Guess I'd better go get ready for tonight.

What does she mean get ready for tonight?

Oh, no, I forgot our anniversary.

- What am I going to do? - Why not take her to Caf?� Pure?�?

I hear it's fancy.

That's the most exclusive restaurant in town.

It takes months to get a reservation.

- You have to help me. - Chris, you're hurting me.

I always help you with everything! Get me a reservation at Caf?� Pure?�!

I don't care how! Just do it!

This is going to be the best anniversary ever.

Um, why is Dan coming?

Why is having a third wheel a bad thing?

Third wheels provide stability, that's just physics.

Can't have too much physics.

S'up?

I'll check on our reservation.

Why don't you guys have a drink at the bar?

What's wrong with Dan tonight?

What do you mean? He's being nice.

Eh, yeah.

Excuse?�z moi, monsieur.

You can-not be in this lobby without proper attire.

Good evening. Welcome to Caf?� Pure?�.

Do you have a reservation tonight, Mr....

Dufresne. Yes, of course.

Very good, Mr. Dufresne. Very good indeed.

Park it.

Oh, that.

Car's, um...

Haunted.

Right this way, Mr. Dufresne.

Dufresne?

Pseudonym. So I don't get mobbed by my public.

And where did you get that blazer?

Where did you get that dress? What's with all the questions?

Um, I'll be back.

I need to use the bathroom.

To tinkle.

Excuse me, I spilled something on my rag,

could you tell me if it's chloroform?

You, smaller portions.

You, bigger plates.

You, I don't like you.

- What's this? - Le soup du jour.

- It needs ice cream, don't you think? - But, monsieur.

I studied soup du jours for five years in Paris.

- Did you? - Um, no.

Ice cream. Lots of it, now.

Chef Pure?�! Chef Pure?�!

Nearly every patron is demanding the chef.

Ah, my favorite part.

Time to meet my adoring public.

It's him, Chef Pure?�!

This ice cream noodle soup is inspired.

Those idiots will eat anything if it's served on a fancy plate.

Hey. Where are you taking our fluffy friend?

Skinning station.

Haven't you seen tonight's specials?

First they take my turkey sandwich, now they're cooking pets?

This ends now.

Check it out. They give you two forks.

Finally a place that will let you eat two-fisted.

I have to say, Chris, this is a great anniversary surprise.

It is a great surprise. But not to me,

not a surprise to m-- no, I could never forget our anniversary.

Me neither. It's etched in my brain.

Mademoiselle, ice water?

Yes, please.

- Thanks. - Not quite finished.

A restaurant lives and dies by its specials.

And tonight, this one dies.

Go forth, adorable creatures.

Well, at least the lobsters will have full, happy lives.

Go forth, noble bugs of the sea.

You guys are all my friends now.

Except for you, you're dinner.

Treason.

My biggest pet peeve.

Honey, I'm home.

Sandwich?

Sandwich? What's going on?

Things haven't been right between us for a long time.

But can't we talk about this?

It's over.

I've been having cole-slaw on the side.

Wha-- where am l?

You've been in a coma for 12 years.

12 years?!

Don't listen to him. He's been down here too long.

Chef Pure?� threw you down here 10 minutes ago.

What is this place?

This is the dungeon where we do the dirty work.

This is where you go when you make a mistake.

Yes. We were all sous-chefs once.

I over salted the vichyssoise.

I over cooked a cr??me br?�l?�e.

It only takes one mistake to end up here.

So, why don't you just quit?

That's how I deal with adversity.

No, no. It is an honor to work for Chef Pure?�.

Are you kidding me? The guy's a jerk.

You're just trapped in a prison of the mind.

Also a real prison. See this giant vault door?

Wait? I'm stuck here forever?

No, just until you die.

Ah, perfect.

Are we ready to order?

Can I get a refill on my water first?

For a long time

I didn't believe in love. I didn't believe in anything.

I didn't believe in love. I didn't believe in anything.

But my first bite of that turkey sandwich,

I knew I had tasted something special.

Ah, I once had a sandwich like that.

But The Sub-Marine was the greatest sandwich shop in the world.

And the employees were happy,

probably because there were no dungeons.

No dungeons?

But who shreds their lettuce?

They all do. Everyone works together.

Dan is a genius.

How long does it take to make a meal? I mean, isn't that their thing?

Yeah, and how long does it take Dan to tinkle?

- Le foie gras. - Oh, we're sharing.

That's it?! That's what you get for $200?

Aw. I imagined $200 worth of food

would come out on some sort of a giant novelty plate.

You're positive there's no way through the vault?

Oui. The vault door is always guarded

by two sous-chefs with a taste for blood.

- What about the dumb-waiter? - Which one?

They're all dumb.

If you want to be ambushed by 40 chefs, go for it.

Many men have tried le dumb-waiter escape

only to become tomorrow's special instead.

Another reason Caf?� Pure?� must go.

Some American pig just ordered

an entire fudge cheesecake for dessert.

That sounds like Chris.

With "Happy Anniversary"

written in ranch dressing.

That's definitely Chris.

There's got to be a way for a person to get out of here.

There is a way.

Do you just wait in the shadows?

Elders told of a chosen one,

a tiny, angry prophet

who could fit through the vent

that connects us to the men's room.

That gives me an idea.

And explains the smell down here.

It's about time.

I know, an hour for dessert? Who do they think they are?

Uh, honey? Look.

"Happy Anniversary, Chris and Elise.

Chris, meet me in the men's ro."

What's the men's ro?

I assume men's room.

This is weird.

Your other cheesecake, monsieur.

Psst, Chris.

I'm stuck.

What is going on?

My revenge is being stalled by this narrow vent.

Free me!

Watch the grip!

You act like it's the first time you've pulled a man out of a vent.

Well, let's go home and you can help me

think of how I can make this up to my lovely wife.

Nonsense. We are taking down Caf?� Pure?�

if it's the last thing we do.

Take down Caf?� Pure?�? I think not.

Stop him!

Get up, you clumsy oaf.

We've got to catch that guy.

I don't know about you guys, but I am sick and tired of this place

and its pretentious attitude.

Me too.

Tonight, revenge is on the menu,

and it's served ?� la Dan.

So, should we call the health department,

write a bad review online?

Come on. You're thinking too small.

This is bigger than us. It may surprise you,

but I've grown attached to a race of subhumans

imprisoned below the restaurant.

You're right. There were like four things

in that sentence that surprised me.

Wait, subhumans?

To be fair, they're actually full-human.

They just smell awful.

I knew this place was pretentious, but a dungeon?

I know. I'm trying to start a revolution.

I want the oppressed classes to rise up.

Blood in the streets, flames in the sky,

the whole nine yards. And then, rising from the ashes,

a phoenix in the form of a submarine.

That's actually doable.

When certain unnamed government agencies

want to instigate regime change, they mobilize the lower class.

Then they trick the middle class into siding with the lower class.

It's easy. I did it last Tuesday--

I mean, I read it in the paper.

Hmm. I do like meddling.

I'll go back to the dungeon and ready the troops.

- You take care of the rest. - Check.

Wait a second. What am I going to do?

You can go pay the bill.

No, I want to help.

Come on, I could wear the bathroom attendant's uniform.

What good would that do?

Well, l-I'm not sure.

Well, l-I'm not sure.

This thing fits great.

I don't care that it's not part of the plan, I am keeping it.

That's nice, honey.

Okay, just act like you belong. I'll be back soon.

Who's there?

I told you he would never come back.

But Dan would never abandon us.

He probably just died in the vent.

That didn't feel great.

Taisez-vous. Dan has something to say.

Friends, prisoners, fellow revenge seekers.

There is a great war upon us.

Sharpen your carrots. Make ready your ladles.

Tonight we saut?� Chef Pure?�!

It's not fair, you know.

We do all the work, but Chef Pure?� takes all the credit.

Well, he is the head chef.

But he doesn't have to be. Someone else could do it.

Someone brave. Someone handsome.

Someone French.

Maybe someone like you.

Hey! What are you doing? I said be discreet.

I'm trying to chew quietly.

Never mind that. I've found something for you to do.

- Oh, you're the best. - Don't eat that!

I just put knockout powder on those.

I need you to deliver them to the sous-chefs guarding the vault.

Then open the door for Dan. You think you can handle that?

You know, I'm sorry.

This is not how I pictured our anniversary.

I have a confession to make.

Until you mentioned it, I didn't know today was our anniversary.

Wait.

Until you mentioned it, I didn't know it was our anniversary either.

- Is it our anniversary? - I don't know.

Let's think. What did we do on our last anniversary?

We were going to go to a party,

but Dan wouldn't get out of our walls.

Right. And the year before, we were going to go to a picnic.

And we spent the whole day with the bail bondsman.

Yeah, Dan had that whole nun thing.

You know what? I's not our anniversary.

And do you know what else? I don't care.

I don't want to wait for a special occasion

to take my beautiful wife out to dinner.

You are so sweet.

Now go knock out those guards.

Hi, fellas. The chef said you were both oppressing

so many peasants, he wanted to reward you.

Mmm, this is delicious.

I don't know. Mine tastes a little like...

knockout powder?

I don't think your friends are coming.

Trust me. They'll be here.

Unless they gave up, which is possible.

It worked.

Charge!

Vive la r?�volution!

You are about to get served.

Literally, to our dogs.

But, Maurice, we have no dogs.

Quiet, Bernard.

If you die to protect me, you die with honor.

Wait. Stop.

Don't you see? We're not so different.

Us chefs and you, uh, weird dungeon people.

We all just want to get paid a little more,

work a little less, and get treated fairly.

Am I right?

The real problem here,

is our power-hungry ruler Chef Pure?�,

don't you think?

- Yes, I do. - Ja, me, too.

What is this? Some sort of revolution?

Yeah. It's like the American Revolution

if it happened in France.

Okay, okay, I get it. I surrender.

What else do you want from me?

I want my turkey sandwich.

- Or else! - Or else what?

I really thought he was going to make that turkey sandwich.

So what do you think will happen to Chef Pure?�?

I'm sure they'll all work it out.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Wow. The low-five is really coming back.

Dufresne, party of three.

Thanks again, Maurice.

Thank you, Dan.

You know, you are the chosen one.

If you want to be our new ruler, the job is yours.

No. Thanks, though.

I think you're doing great as store manager.

Oh, merci beaucoup.

Eh! Not so much cheese, Bernard!

I've got to say, the French and democracy do not mix.

Who cares at this point?

You built these sandwiches up so much, I just want to try one already.

Yeah, I'm tired of not eating.

- It's pretty good. - I like it.

Nope. Not as good as I remember.

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