All language subtitles for Dan Vs s01e17 The Fancy Restaurant.eng

Another great turkey sandwich
from The Sub-Marine.

Italian roll,
spicy mustard, mayo,

no cheese,
no meddling vegetables.

You know, you might
be the perfect food.

I like you, Dan.
You're always right.

Thanks, talking sandwich.

Aw! I've got to stop
eating candy for dinner.

Shut up, we're almost there.

What the...?

What's going on here?

What happened
to my sandwich shop?

Bonjour, monsieur.
Welcome to Caf?� Pure?�,

a fancy restaurant specializing
in French cuisine.

We have replaced the--

what do you call it,
The Sandwich Soldier?

The Sub-Marine!

They had the world's
best turkey sandwich.

How's your turkey sandwich?

Monsieur, we do not serve

Ie turkey sandwich
at Caf?� Pure?�.

What?!
No turkey sandwich?

I thought you said
this was a restaurant.

- What do you have?
- Voil?�!

This is in French!
I can't read French.

What is the problem here?

Monsieur wishes
a turkey sandwich.

You disgust me.

My entire menu

is a personal vision
of culinary genius.

Well, why don't you
personally visualize me

a turkey sandwich?!

FANCY RESTAURANT!!!

And one, and two, and three,

and four, shake it!

- Oh, yeah, feel the burn.
- Uh, yeah.

I'll get it.

The Sub-Marine
has been exterminated

and some caf?� crap?�
has moved in.

I need your help getting revenge.

- Come on.
- Hold on.

Do you mean Caf?� Pure?�,
the new fancy restaurant?

You knew about this?
And you didn't inform me?

That, sir, is obstruction of justice.

There have been ads everywhere for
the last two months for Caf?� Pure?�.

Did you just say Caf?� Pure?�?

The new place by Jack Pure?�,
the world's famous chef?

Yes.

Oh, hey, Chris, do you mind
getting me another towel?

Sure, I'll be right back.

Dan, is Chris taking
me to Caf?� Pure?�?

- Um...
- I knew it!

It's our anniversary tonight,
I completely forgot.

- Uh...
- Do not tell Chris I forgot.

- He's very sensitive.
- Um...

Do you hear me, monkey?
Do not tell him!

Elise, you're hurting me.

- Here's your towel, gorgeous.
- Thanks.

Guess I'd better go
get ready for tonight.

What does she mean
get ready for tonight?

Oh, no, I forgot
our anniversary.

- What am I going to do?
- Why not take her to Caf?� Pure?�?

I hear it's fancy.

That's the most exclusive
restaurant in town.

It takes months
to get a reservation.

- You have to help me.
- Chris, you're hurting me.

I always help you with everything!
Get me a reservation at Caf?� Pure?�!

I don't care how!
Just do it!

This is going to be
the best anniversary ever.

Um, why is Dan coming?

Why is having a third wheel
a bad thing?

Third wheels provide stability,
that's just physics.

Can't have too much physics.

S'up?

I'll check on our reservation.

Why don't you guys
have a drink at the bar?

What's wrong with Dan tonight?

What do you mean?
He's being nice.

Eh, yeah.

Excuse?�z moi, monsieur.

You can-not be in this lobby
without proper attire.

Good evening.
Welcome to Caf?� Pure?�.

Do you have a reservation
tonight, Mr....

Dufresne.
Yes, of course.

Very good, Mr. Dufresne.
Very good indeed.

Park it.

Oh, that.

Car's, um...

Haunted.

Right this way, Mr. Dufresne.

Dufresne?

Pseudonym. So I don't get
mobbed by my public.

And where did you
get that blazer?

Where did you get that dress?
What's with all the questions?

Um, I'll be back.

I need to use the bathroom.

To tinkle.

Excuse me, I spilled
something on my rag,

could you tell me
if it's chloroform?

You, smaller portions.

You, bigger plates.

You, I don't like you.

- What's this?
- Le soup du jour.

- It needs ice cream, don't you think?
- But, monsieur.

I studied soup du jours
for five years in Paris.

- Did you?
- Um, no.

Ice cream.
Lots of it, now.

Chef Pure?�! Chef Pure?�!

Nearly every patron
is demanding the chef.

Ah, my favorite part.

Time to meet my adoring public.

It's him, Chef Pure?�!

This ice cream
noodle soup is inspired.

Those idiots will eat anything
if it's served on a fancy plate.

Hey. Where are you
taking our fluffy friend?

Skinning station.

Haven't you seen
tonight's specials?

First they take my turkey sandwich,
now they're cooking pets?

This ends now.

Check it out.
They give you two forks.

Finally a place that will let
you eat two-fisted.

I have to say, Chris, this is
a great anniversary surprise.

It is a great surprise.
But not to me,

not a surprise to m-- no, I could
never forget our anniversary.

Me neither.
It's etched in my brain.

Mademoiselle, ice water?

Yes, please.

- Thanks.
- Not quite finished.

A restaurant lives
and dies by its specials.

And tonight, this one dies.

Go forth, adorable creatures.

Well, at least the lobsters
will have full, happy lives.

Go forth, noble bugs of the sea.

You guys are all my friends now.

Except for you, you're dinner.

Treason.

My biggest pet peeve.

Honey, I'm home.

Sandwich?

Sandwich?
What's going on?

Things haven't been right
between us for a long time.

But can't we talk about this?

It's over.

I've been having
cole-slaw on the side.

Wha-- where am l?

You've been in a coma for 12 years.

12 years?!

Don't listen to him.
He's been down here too long.

Chef Pure?� threw you
down here 10 minutes ago.

What is this place?

This is the dungeon
where we do the dirty work.

This is where you go
when you make a mistake.

Yes. We were all
sous-chefs once.

I over salted the vichyssoise.

I over cooked a cr??me br?�l?�e.

It only takes one mistake
to end up here.

So, why don't you just quit?

That's how I deal with adversity.

No, no. It is an honor
to work for Chef Pure?�.

Are you kidding me?
The guy's a jerk.

You're just trapped
in a prison of the mind.

Also a real prison.
See this giant vault door?

Wait?
I'm stuck here forever?

No, just until you die.

Ah, perfect.

Are we ready to order?

Can I get a refill
on my water first?

For a long time

I didn't believe in love.
I didn't believe in anything.

I didn't believe in love.
I didn't believe in anything.

But my first bite
of that turkey sandwich,

I knew I had tasted
something special.

Ah, I once had
a sandwich like that.

But The Sub-Marine was the greatest
sandwich shop in the world.

And the employees were happy,

probably because
there were no dungeons.

No dungeons?

But who shreds their lettuce?

They all do.
Everyone works together.

Dan is a genius.

How long does it take to make a meal?
I mean, isn't that their thing?

Yeah, and how long
does it take Dan to tinkle?

- Le foie gras.
- Oh, we're sharing.

That's it?!
That's what you get for $200?

Aw. I imagined
$200 worth of food

would come out on some sort
of a giant novelty plate.

You're positive there's
no way through the vault?

Oui. The vault door
is always guarded

by two sous-chefs
with a taste for blood.

- What about the dumb-waiter?
- Which one?

They're all dumb.

If you want to be ambushed
by 40 chefs, go for it.

Many men have tried
le dumb-waiter escape

only to become
tomorrow's special instead.

Another reason
Caf?� Pure?� must go.

Some American pig
just ordered

an entire fudge
cheesecake for dessert.

That sounds like Chris.

With "Happy Anniversary"

written in ranch dressing.

That's definitely Chris.

There's got to be a way
for a person to get out of here.

There is a way.

Do you just wait
in the shadows?

Elders told of a chosen one,

a tiny, angry prophet

who could fit through the vent

that connects us
to the men's room.

That gives me an idea.

And explains
the smell down here.

It's about time.

I know, an hour for dessert?
Who do they think they are?

Uh, honey?
Look.

"Happy Anniversary,
Chris and Elise.

Chris, meet me
in the men's ro."

What's the men's ro?

I assume men's room.

This is weird.

Your other cheesecake,
monsieur.

Psst, Chris.

I'm stuck.

What is going on?

My revenge is being stalled
by this narrow vent.

Free me!

Watch the grip!

You act like it's the first time
you've pulled a man out of a vent.

Well, let's go home
and you can help me

think of how I can make
this up to my lovely wife.

Nonsense.
We are taking down Caf?� Pure?�

if it's the last thing we do.

Take down Caf?� Pure?�?
I think not.

Stop him!

Get up, you clumsy oaf.

We've got to catch that guy.

I don't know about you guys,
but I am sick and tired of this place

and its pretentious attitude.

Me too.

Tonight, revenge
is on the menu,

and it's served ?� la Dan.

So, should we call
the health department,

write a bad review online?

Come on.
You're thinking too small.

This is bigger than us.
It may surprise you,

but I've grown attached
to a race of subhumans

imprisoned below
the restaurant.

You're right.
There were like four things

in that sentence
that surprised me.

Wait, subhumans?

To be fair,
they're actually full-human.

They just smell awful.

I knew this place was pretentious,
but a dungeon?

I know.
I'm trying to start a revolution.

I want the oppressed
classes to rise up.

Blood in the streets,
flames in the sky,

the whole nine yards.
And then, rising from the ashes,

a phoenix in the form
of a submarine.

That's actually doable.

When certain unnamed
government agencies

want to instigate regime change,
they mobilize the lower class.

Then they trick the middle class
into siding with the lower class.

It's easy.
I did it last Tuesday--

I mean, I read it in the paper.

Hmm.
I do like meddling.

I'll go back to the dungeon
and ready the troops.

- You take care of the rest.
- Check.

Wait a second.
What am I going to do?

You can go pay the bill.

No, I want to help.

Come on, I could wear the bathroom
attendant's uniform.

What good would that do?

Well, l-I'm not sure.

Well, l-I'm not sure.

This thing fits great.

I don't care that it's not part
of the plan, I am keeping it.

That's nice, honey.

Okay, just act like you belong.
I'll be back soon.

Who's there?

I told you he would
never come back.

But Dan would
never abandon us.

He probably just died
in the vent.

That didn't feel great.

Taisez-vous.
Dan has something to say.

Friends, prisoners,
fellow revenge seekers.

There is a great war upon us.

Sharpen your carrots.
Make ready your ladles.

Tonight we saut?� Chef Pure?�!

It's not fair, you know.

We do all the work, but Chef Pure?�
takes all the credit.

Well, he is the head chef.

But he doesn't have to be.
Someone else could do it.

Someone brave.
Someone handsome.

Someone French.

Maybe someone like you.

Hey! What are you doing?
I said be discreet.

I'm trying to chew quietly.

Never mind that. I've found
something for you to do.

- Oh, you're the best.
- Don't eat that!

I just put knockout
powder on those.

I need you to deliver them to
the sous-chefs guarding the vault.

Then open the door for Dan.
You think you can handle that?

You know, I'm sorry.

This is not how I pictured
our anniversary.

I have a confession to make.

Until you mentioned it, I didn't
know today was our anniversary.

Wait.

Until you mentioned it, I didn't
know it was our anniversary either.

- Is it our anniversary?
- I don't know.

Let's think. What did we do
on our last anniversary?

We were going to go to a party,

but Dan wouldn't
get out of our walls.

Right. And the year before,
we were going to go to a picnic.

And we spent the whole day
with the bail bondsman.

Yeah, Dan had
that whole nun thing.

You know what?
I's not our anniversary.

And do you know what else?
I don't care.

I don't want to wait
for a special occasion

to take my beautiful wife
out to dinner.

You are so sweet.

Now go knock out
those guards.

Hi, fellas. The chef said
you were both oppressing

so many peasants,
he wanted to reward you.

Mmm, this is delicious.

I don't know.
Mine tastes a little like...

knockout powder?

I don't think your friends
are coming.

Trust me.
They'll be here.

Unless they gave up,
which is possible.

It worked.

Charge!

Vive la r?�volution!

You are about to get served.

Literally, to our dogs.

But, Maurice,
we have no dogs.

Quiet, Bernard.

If you die to protect me,
you die with honor.

Wait. Stop.

Don't you see?
We're not so different.

Us chefs and you, uh,
weird dungeon people.

We all just want
to get paid a little more,

work a little less,
and get treated fairly.

Am I right?

The real problem here,

is our power-hungry
ruler Chef Pure?�,

don't you think?

- Yes, I do.
- Ja, me, too.

What is this?
Some sort of revolution?

Yeah. It's like
the American Revolution

if it happened in France.

Okay, okay, I get it.
I surrender.

What else do you
want from me?

I want my turkey sandwich.

- Or else!
- Or else what?

I really thought he was going
to make that turkey sandwich.

So what do you think
will happen to Chef Pure?�?

I'm sure they'll all work it out.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Wow. The low-five
is really coming back.

Dufresne, party of three.

Thanks again, Maurice.

Thank you, Dan.

You know, you are
the chosen one.

If you want to be our new ruler,
the job is yours.

No. Thanks, though.

I think you're doing
great as store manager.

Oh, merci beaucoup.

Eh! Not so much
cheese, Bernard!

I've got to say, the French
and democracy do not mix.

Who cares at this point?

You built these sandwiches up so
much, I just want to try one already.

Yeah, I'm tired of not eating.

- It's pretty good.
- I like it.

Nope.
Not as good as I remember.

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