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1
00:00:15,460 --> 00:00:18,880
So I'll pick you up around 7:00?
2
00:00:18,910 --> 00:00:20,470
Sounds like fun.
3
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,420
Okay.
4
00:00:22,450 --> 00:00:23,910
See you then.
5
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:39,300
? Everything's coming up Dan! ?
6
00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:43,600
One haircut, my good man,
7
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,630
and make me look dashing.
8
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,300
Sounds like
somebody's got a date.
9
00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:48,870
Well, hop up.
10
00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:51,380
I do have a date.
She's cute,
11
00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:53,970
and she likes
zombie spaghetti westerns,
12
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:57,580
a cinematic subgenre of which
I consider myself a connoisseur.
13
00:00:57,620 --> 00:01:00,990
We are going to see
"A Fistful of Brains" tonight.
14
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:04,390
She sounds like
the perfect girl.
15
00:01:04,430 --> 00:01:06,050
Don't I know it.
16
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,060
And pretty too.
17
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:11,260
Why do you have
her driver's license?
18
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:13,330
To run a background check,
19
00:01:13,370 --> 00:01:15,560
make sure
she's not a serial killer
20
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,070
or an organ donor.
21
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,010
They don't always wait
till you're dead, you know.
22
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:22,030
Possibly the future
ex-Mrs. Dan...
23
00:01:23,110 --> 00:01:25,050
if she plays her cards right.
24
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,780
Well, don't worry.
25
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:31,620
I'll make sure you look
nice and handsome for your date.
26
00:01:34,290 --> 00:01:36,020
No!
27
00:01:36,060 --> 00:01:38,750
You made me a monster!
28
00:01:40,190 --> 00:01:41,230
Wait!
29
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,490
You forgot your lollipop!
30
00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:53,100
Maybe it's not so bad.
31
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,550
My apologies, sir.
32
00:02:08,590 --> 00:02:11,060
She is usually so calm.
33
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:14,060
I am so sorry
about your obviously horrible,
34
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,360
grotesquely
disfiguring accident.
35
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,430
BARBER!!!
36
00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:38,470
It's not that bad.
37
00:02:41,050 --> 00:02:42,580
Okay, it's pretty bad.
38
00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:45,110
You know,
he did this on purpose
39
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,650
to ruin my date.
40
00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:48,780
That seems a little paranoid.
41
00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:50,490
Why would a barber-- wait.
42
00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:53,120
- Date?
- Yes, date.
43
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,390
Seriously?
With a real, live girl?
44
00:02:56,430 --> 00:02:58,300
And just what are you implying?
45
00:02:58,340 --> 00:02:59,930
What are you telling her?
46
00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:01,300
I'm sorry. I just don't--
47
00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:03,670
I mean, how does that even--
48
00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:06,900
I mean, how did you
get her to say yes?
49
00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:08,970
The Dan method.
50
00:03:11,380 --> 00:03:13,710
She totally fell for it.
51
00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:16,720
First, I ask her about
the book she was reading.
52
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:19,480
Then, during our conversation,
53
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,490
I discovered that she likes
a lot of the same stuff I like.
54
00:03:22,530 --> 00:03:24,890
Then we talked about that stuff.
55
00:03:24,930 --> 00:03:27,330
It was masterful,
if I do say so myself.
56
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:31,030
Yes, devious.
You talked to her.
57
00:03:31,070 --> 00:03:34,040
And he found out
that they had a lot in common.
58
00:03:34,070 --> 00:03:35,540
Staggering.
59
00:03:35,570 --> 00:03:38,010
I'm picking up
a lot of sarcasm here,
60
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,670
but I'm not getting
what it's about.
61
00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:41,610
I'm not trying to be snarky.
62
00:03:41,650 --> 00:03:44,010
I'm just impressed.
That's great.
63
00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:45,510
It was great,
64
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:49,510
and then that ham-fisted
hack barber did this to me.
65
00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:51,680
Now I'll have to cancel my date.
66
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,420
Why?
If a girl really likes you,
67
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:55,550
a bad haircut
won't make a difference.
68
00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:57,490
What do you know
about what women like?
69
00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,720
- You married Chris.
- Hey.
70
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,660
Anyway, I can't see Becky
71
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,830
until my hair grows back.
72
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:05,360
Why don't you
just shave your head?
73
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,130
Scalp fungus.
74
00:04:07,170 --> 00:04:09,470
I just need a temporary excuse,
75
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,630
something simple and plausible.
76
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,140
Hello.
77
00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,940
Hi, Becky. It's Dan.
78
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:17,170
Bad news.
The FBl just discovered
79
00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:20,180
a new species of penguin,
beautiful and endangered,
80
00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,010
and they want me
to club one to death
81
00:04:22,050 --> 00:04:23,520
and dissect it immediately.
82
00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,020
The FBl?
83
00:04:25,060 --> 00:04:26,520
Yeah. They're doing that now.
84
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,580
So I leave
for the north pole tonight.
85
00:04:28,630 --> 00:04:31,590
But penguins live
at the south pole.
86
00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:33,990
Yeah.
Everybody's pretty surprised.
87
00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:36,520
Anyway, I won't be able
to go to the movie tonight.
88
00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:38,090
Mm, that's okay.
89
00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:40,260
My friend Mike
really wanted to see it.
90
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:41,770
I'll just go with him.
91
00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:43,600
Oh, Mike.
92
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,570
Good.
93
00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:48,340
Mike. Mike.
94
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,550
Well, anyway, I'll be back
in three weeks or so.
95
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:54,450
- I'll call you then.
- Bye.
96
00:04:55,550 --> 00:04:58,320
She's going with Mike?
97
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,450
Man, I hate that barber.
98
00:05:00,490 --> 00:05:02,080
Help me get back at him.
99
00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:04,690
- I'd rather not.
- lt'll take 10 minutes.
100
00:05:04,730 --> 00:05:07,060
You hold him down,
and I cut off his hands.
101
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:08,930
Hmm. No.
102
00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:10,560
Maybe something less...
103
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:11,870
felonious.
104
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:14,970
What, like the barber
gave me a bad haircut,
105
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,000
so I give him a bad haircut?
106
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,840
Wow! Real--
107
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,640
hey.
108
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,940
Can I borrow
your hedge trimmers?
109
00:05:27,890 --> 00:05:31,120
Well, I guess there's
nothing left to do but...
110
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,160
Now where could
you have gone?
111
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,400
Now I know where you're headed.
112
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:51,000
That'll teach you
to personalize your work space.
113
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:54,810
Who likes surprises?
114
00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:57,810
Whatever it is,
do not let it loose in here.
115
00:05:57,850 --> 00:05:59,820
No.
116
00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:03,080
I rented us a cabin
by the lake!
117
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,850
What?
118
00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:08,420
Can't a guy do something nice
for his best friend?
119
00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:09,930
And Elise?
120
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,520
I have to lay low anyway
121
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,330
while my hair gets back
to its vibrant sheen.
122
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:17,330
Why not spend it
with the people I treasure?
123
00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:20,000
That's actually
really sweet, Dan.
124
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,030
I don't believe him.
125
00:06:23,070 --> 00:06:24,770
- What about the barber?
- You know,
126
00:06:24,810 --> 00:06:27,470
I got there ready to retaliate,
127
00:06:27,510 --> 00:06:30,480
but then I thought, "No. No.
128
00:06:30,510 --> 00:06:33,180
The barber can make me
look like a monster,
129
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:35,480
but he won't make
me a monster."
130
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,650
I still don't believe you.
131
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,660
By the way,
your hedge trimmer broke.
132
00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:43,490
What?
It was working fine yesterday.
133
00:06:43,530 --> 00:06:46,500
It's a good reminder
that life is fleeting
134
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:49,500
and eventually all things die.
135
00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:51,870
It's important
to live in the moment.
136
00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,540
So you're really
letting this go?
137
00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:57,700
Yep. I'm growing as a person.
138
00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:59,210
That haircut,
139
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,680
you're letting the barber
get away with doing that to you?
140
00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:03,870
Chris, Dan is turning a corner.
141
00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:06,040
He's asking girls out,
renting cabins.
142
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,980
- We should be encouraging this.
- You should.
143
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:17,020
You guys wait here.
I just need to pick up the key.
144
00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:29,030
Oh! I got here just in time.
145
00:07:29,070 --> 00:07:30,700
Federal Key lnspection Agency.
146
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:33,510
I'm sorry to inform you
several of these-- keys!
147
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,480
Go, go, go! Go! Go!
148
00:07:35,510 --> 00:07:36,980
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
149
00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:38,740
Everything's fine. Go!
150
00:07:46,490 --> 00:07:48,190
This is it.
151
00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:50,090
It's beautiful!
152
00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:52,860
Yeah, the perfect place
to relax.
153
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,730
There he is,
154
00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:58,030
my archnemesis.
155
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,860
Becky? Wait a minute!
156
00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:06,980
My binoculars!
157
00:08:07,010 --> 00:08:08,480
What is it, Dan?
158
00:08:08,510 --> 00:08:10,000
It's Becky!
159
00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:12,170
The barber's her father!
160
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,940
"Oh, I'll make you
handsome for your date."
161
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:26,180
I'll make him sorry.
162
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,690
I'm going to need a ladder.
163
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,090
Does he ever take a break?
164
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,920
You know, it's gotten
so I don't even hear it anymore.
165
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,090
It's just white noise
at this point.
166
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,200
Well, I've got all the stuff.
167
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,700
Come on, Chris. Let's go.
168
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,400
I'm going to stay here
with Elise.
169
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,870
I did not rent this cabin
for the weekend
170
00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:49,930
so you could
just bask in luxury.
171
00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:51,810
Kind of what you sold us on.
172
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,810
I already told you
I lied about that.
173
00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:56,940
Let it go.
Now come on.
174
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,820
- I'm not going.
- Seriously?
175
00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:01,610
Seriously?
176
00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:12,360
Ungrateful Chris
and stupid Elise.
177
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,370
That's the last time
I pretend to rent them a cabin.
178
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,560
Hey, what was that?
179
00:09:21,610 --> 00:09:23,160
Dad, there's someone
in the bushes.
180
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,610
Becky, get my killing scissors.
181
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,140
Stop!
Stop right there!
182
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,580
Hey, you! Stop!
183
00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:39,650
That was a wonderful dinner,
Chris--
184
00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:42,020
Kobe beef, white truffles,
185
00:09:42,060 --> 00:09:44,490
caviar. Wow.
186
00:09:44,530 --> 00:09:46,090
Yeah, the fridge was stocked.
187
00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:49,100
I mean, Dan must have paid
a fortune for this cabin.
188
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,800
Check it out. Complimentary
bottle of champagne.
189
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,140
Box of expensive chocolates.
190
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:55,800
Shall we celebrate?
191
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,430
We shall.
192
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,740
Dan may be a pain in the neck,
193
00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:02,340
but he really
came through for us.
194
00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:04,140
To Dan.
195
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:08,290
Uh, excuse me?
196
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,790
Who are you,
197
00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:11,520
and what are you doing
in our cabin?
198
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,550
Your cabin?
No, there must be a mistake.
199
00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:15,060
This is...
200
00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:19,520
- Dan.
- Dan.
201
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,670
Oh, I hope they
throw the book at you,
202
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,170
you delinquents.
203
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,930
This is all a misunderstanding.
204
00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:31,470
We're very sorry about all this.
205
00:10:31,510 --> 00:10:33,980
Chris. Hey, Chris.
206
00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:37,040
Now is not a good time, Dan.
We're being arrested.
207
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,740
What did you do?
208
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,510
We didn't do anything.
209
00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:42,490
You told us
you rented this cabin.
210
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,990
Oh, right.
I lied about that.
211
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,550
Hey, when you get done
at the police station,
212
00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:49,390
can you help me break into
the barber's cabin?
213
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:50,890
I messed up, and now--
214
00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:53,920
I am not helping you
do anything ever again.
215
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:56,260
We both know
you don't mean--
216
00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:03,170
Still think he turned a corner?
217
00:11:03,210 --> 00:11:05,610
That is your last
"l told you so."
218
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,340
One more, and you join Dan
in a shallow grave.
219
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:12,010
Weren't you wearing handcuffs
a second ago?
220
00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:14,210
Amateurs.
221
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,920
So hungry.
222
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:28,820
Hey, finders keepers.
223
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,330
Okay! Let's negotiate!
224
00:11:36,610 --> 00:11:38,870
Hmm? What?
225
00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:41,110
Oh, time to get up?
226
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:43,010
Thanks.
227
00:11:45,350 --> 00:11:49,120
What do you mean
you don't have grappling hooks?
228
00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:51,680
Sir, grappling hooks
are not exactly
229
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,280
a standard vacation supply.
230
00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:55,320
Of course they are!
231
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,590
Who goes on vacation without--
232
00:11:57,630 --> 00:11:59,060
Becky.
233
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:01,160
Don't tell her I'm here.
234
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,730
Hey, Clark. Just picking up
some orange juice.
235
00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:06,860
Question for you, Becky.
236
00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:08,960
Are you friends
with a little guy
237
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:10,980
covered in scratches?
238
00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:13,810
Mm, doesn't ring
any bells. Why?
239
00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:15,640
Dan?
240
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:16,980
Hi, Becky.
241
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,950
I thought you were
in the Arctic.
242
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,920
Expedition got canceled.
243
00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:22,440
Turns out you were right.
244
00:12:22,490 --> 00:12:24,150
Penguins only live
at the south pole.
245
00:12:24,190 --> 00:12:26,490
Why are you...
246
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,990
Here?
Dressed in black?
247
00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:30,320
Smelling like raccoon?
Long story.
248
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,020
- How was the movie?
- It was good.
249
00:12:33,060 --> 00:12:34,530
Mike really liked it.
250
00:12:34,570 --> 00:12:36,030
Oh, Mike.
251
00:12:36,070 --> 00:12:38,260
Good for Mike.
252
00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:42,510
Hey, can I call you soon?
Maybe we could go see
253
00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:44,530
"Treasure of Sierra Zombie"
or something.
254
00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,740
You bet.
255
00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:49,110
Becky, you left your keys.
256
00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:50,770
I'll catch her.
257
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,640
Perfect.
258
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,140
Uh, Dad...
259
00:13:30,190 --> 00:13:31,710
your hair.
260
00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:36,890
Who could have done this?
261
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:43,070
Well, it took a lot of work
262
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:44,860
but I got even with the barber.
263
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,370
Now I can sleep.
264
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,100
Good night, Mr. Mumbles.
265
00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:55,280
Hello, Dan.
266
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,550
I'm not going
to hurt you, Dan...
267
00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:08,060
yet.
268
00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:10,560
Oddly, that's less reassuring
than I'd like it to be.
269
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:15,030
I am here to declare
a barber vendetta on you.
270
00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,370
Barber vendetta?
271
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,240
Did you think barbers
just cut hair?
272
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:21,470
Of course not.
They also sing in quartets.
273
00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:25,680
Since the dawn
of Western civilization,
274
00:14:25,710 --> 00:14:28,680
barber surgeons
were responsible for surgery...
275
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,840
dentistry...
276
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,370
and bloodletting.
277
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:35,380
Bloodletting, Dan.
278
00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:43,230
You have insulted me, Dan.
279
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:45,060
I am here to declare
280
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:48,070
the Hallowed Society
of Barber Surgeons
281
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:51,070
is going to end your life!
Soon!
282
00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:54,330
And you won't see it coming!
283
00:14:56,410 --> 00:14:58,270
Sleep well.
284
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,180
Hello.
285
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,450
You've got to help.
He's going to kill me.
286
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,720
- I'm sorry. Who is this?
- It's Dan!
287
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,520
Right.
I had a friend named Dan,
288
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,390
- but he is dead to me now.
- What?!
289
00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:16,400
Fine! Fine.
Who needs you?
290
00:15:16,430 --> 00:15:18,360
I'll handle it myself.
291
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:22,700
Barber was just trying
to scare me, anyway.
292
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,710
What?
Was that a comb?
293
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,720
Aw, come on, guys.
294
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,320
It's my first day.
295
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:50,130
Hmm. You're so tense.
296
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,150
I did just spend a day in jail.
297
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,430
Yeah, well, let's just
forget all about--
298
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:56,230
- Dan.
- Exactly.
299
00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:59,830
No, Dan's hiding
in our bushes again.
300
00:15:59,870 --> 00:16:02,540
I swear I'm going to set
a bear trap in there someday.
301
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:06,010
Come on in, Dan.
302
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:10,480
Whew.
Nice to be in a place
303
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:11,980
where they
don't want to kill you.
304
00:16:12,020 --> 00:16:13,490
I wouldn't assume that.
305
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,920
For the last time,
I'm sorry about the cabin.
306
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,750
Also for the first time.
307
00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:20,850
Are you sorry
because you lied to us,
308
00:16:20,890 --> 00:16:23,160
or are you just saying sorry
because you need our help?
309
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,870
Eh.
Look, what's important is
310
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:30,670
barbers have a shadowy,
secret organization.
311
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,370
Sure, the Hallowed Society
of Barber Surgeons.
312
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,930
How did you know that?
313
00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:37,880
Eh. The good news is
that any organization like that
314
00:16:37,910 --> 00:16:39,710
is bound to have
a rigid code of conduct.
315
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,540
If you can find out
what the rules are,
316
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,810
- you can exploit them.
- Great! Will you help me?
317
00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:45,820
- Nope.
- Oh, please!
318
00:16:45,850 --> 00:16:47,650
I'll do anything. I'll--
319
00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:50,620
I'll rent you a cabin.
For real.
320
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,130
Wow. That works much
better than a hedge trimmer.
321
00:17:01,170 --> 00:17:03,290
I knew it.
You broke my--
322
00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:04,890
Shh. Let's go.
323
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:19,670
That's it!
324
00:17:22,090 --> 00:17:24,990
I hereby challenge you
325
00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:27,220
to the ritual
of Taglio dei Capelli.
326
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:28,730
at sundown today.
327
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,460
You can't challenge me.
328
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,090
You're not a member
of the Society.
329
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:34,900
According to bylaw 537G,
330
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:37,730
anyone marked for death
by the Society
331
00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:39,400
may issue a challenge.
332
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:45,680
You, beat me
in a haircutting competition?
333
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:48,410
Good luck.
334
00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:51,420
If you win,
you can kill me on the spot.
335
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:52,980
I can only assume
336
00:17:53,020 --> 00:17:55,450
your weapon of choice
is poison of some kind.
337
00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:59,250
Really?
338
00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:02,420
See you at sundown, barber.
339
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,330
I don't like this at all.
340
00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:10,000
Relax.
341
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,470
Cutting hair is
the easiest job in the world.
342
00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:19,170
Let the Taglio
dei Capelli begin!
343
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,880
We will each have 15 minutes
to give a haircut.
344
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,910
Then the judging will begin.
Becky.
345
00:18:27,950 --> 00:18:30,350
Hi, Dad.
346
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:33,090
Wait a minute. We'll be graded
on a curve, right?
347
00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:35,560
I mean, given what each of us
has to start with.
348
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,960
I can only do so much
with Monkeyface here.
349
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,660
You're welcome for helping you.
350
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,500
Start the clock.
351
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:46,560
Okay, I'd like to keep it
short on the sides and back,
352
00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:48,130
and even out the-- ahh!
353
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,400
Be quiet.
I'm trying to work here.
354
00:18:57,150 --> 00:18:59,180
Hey, not fair.
355
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,240
Oh, did I bump you?
356
00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:03,280
I'm sorry.
357
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,810
Don't worry.
I can even it out.
358
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,290
My hair!
359
00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:12,360
Dan! Be careful!
360
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,200
If Chris loses an ear,
I will be very angry!
361
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,800
Great! More pressure!
362
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:21,200
Don't worry. It's fixable.
I'm onto his tricks now.
363
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,330
Two can play at this game.
364
00:19:31,020 --> 00:19:32,480
Mike!
365
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,280
- Stop squirming, sweetie.
- Mike!
366
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,480
Oh, Mike!
367
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,720
Why?
368
00:19:44,530 --> 00:19:46,760
I got to be honest.
This is pretty hard.
369
00:19:52,070 --> 00:19:53,540
You know, Dan,
370
00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:55,910
you really shouldn't have cut
my dad's hair in his sleep.
371
00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:57,410
That wasn't nice.
372
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,640
Nice? Just look
at what your dad did to me...
373
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,240
on purpose,
374
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,810
just to stop me from
taking you to the movies.
375
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,190
Is that true?
376
00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:10,210
Uh, kind of.
377
00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:13,750
Well, you shouldn't have
lied to me anyway.
378
00:20:13,790 --> 00:20:16,660
I don't care what your hair
looks like, Dan.
379
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,860
I thought you
were funny and...
380
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:21,090
- cute.
- You did?
381
00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:23,000
You did?
382
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:26,010
After all this is over,
why don't we go see
383
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,940
"Too Much Gold
for One Zombie"?
384
00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:29,910
You mean it?
385
00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:33,380
Yes, but you have
to stop lying.
386
00:20:33,410 --> 00:20:35,180
And more importantly,
387
00:20:35,210 --> 00:20:37,680
you have to stop choosing
anger and revenge
388
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,150
over more important things.
389
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:46,720
You know, maybe we did
let this get out of hand.
390
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,360
Yeah! Winner!
391
00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:08,940
So, "Too Much Gold
for One Zombie"?
392
00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:10,970
Never speak
393
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,140
to me again.
394
00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:18,220
This is more like it.
395
00:21:18,260 --> 00:21:20,780
Yeah, real nice.
396
00:21:20,830 --> 00:21:22,450
Not perfect, though.
397
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,260
Yeah, not bad.
398
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:27,270
- Hey, guys.
- Yes, Dan?
399
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:29,730
Do you think
I made the wrong choice,
400
00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:31,630
revenge over love?
401
00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:33,470
- Yes, Dan.
- Me too.
402
00:21:33,510 --> 00:21:34,970
Well, I don't.
403
00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:37,810
Well, at least
you haven't learned anything.
404
00:21:39,110 --> 00:21:40,810
Thanks for renting
this cabin, Dan.
405
00:21:40,850 --> 00:21:42,310
It's just what I needed.
406
00:21:43,850 --> 00:21:45,410
Dan!
407
00:21:45,460 --> 00:21:50,010
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