Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:06,370
Oh, I don't know, do you want me
to hold your paintball trophy
2
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:07,744
-while you open the door?
-Oh.
3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,081
Trophy-holding's
only for winners.
4
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:12,178
Ouch.
5
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,550
No, but, seriously,
today was so fun.
6
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,848
What are you up to tomorrow?
You want to grab dinner?
7
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,920
Uh, actually I can't.
I have to go to a thing
8
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,289
with another woman.
9
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:24,860
And now it's my turn
to say, "Ouch."
10
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,358
I-It's my nonna.
11
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,160
Uh, she's old-school Italian,
12
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:30,132
so the two of us always do
Sunday dinner together.
13
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,501
Uh, don't get jealous,
14
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,469
but she does always
kiss me good night.
15
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,397
I lived in Italy
for a few years.
16
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,568
Sì, uh...
17
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,746
[chuckles] Okay, someone only
learned the food words.
18
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:48,476
Well, I couldn't cook.
How else was I supposed to eat?
19
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:51,022
Tell me more
about this Sunday dinner.
20
00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,989
Nonna goes all out-- I mean,
Sunday sauce, handmade pasta.
21
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:56,258
She spends the entire day
in the kitchen.
22
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,957
How cool.
You know, I love dinner.
23
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,799
And I'd love to meet
your grandmother.
24
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,525
Uh... yeah.
25
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,171
I'm not sure we're there yet.
26
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,236
Oh, really?
27
00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,035
I mean, I just thought we were.
28
00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:11,237
Uh, yeah, no, it's ju--
it's just that her place is
29
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,669
really, really small, so...
30
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,814
Well, I'll make Sunday dinner.
31
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,409
Didn't you just say
you can't cook?
32
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,312
Well, I couldn't cook then,
33
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,884
but now... I'm amazing.
34
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:26,023
Handmade pasta?
I'm a master at that...
35
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,420
cranky machine thingy.
36
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,489
Come on, it'll be fun.
37
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,961
Tomorrow night.
38
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,089
Okay... sure. Yeah, uh,
39
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:37,125
we'll see you tomorrow night
for dinner at Carly's Cucina.
40
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,372
That means kitchen.
41
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,197
Yes, it does.
42
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,542
* I know *
43
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:43,996
* You see *
44
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,544
* Somehow the world
will change for me *
45
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,610
* And be so wonderful *
46
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:53,380
* So wake up
the members of my nation *
47
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,581
* It's your time to be *
48
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:58,623
* There's no chance
unless you take one *
49
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,319
* And the time to see
the brighter side *
50
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:04,592
* Of every situation *
51
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,332
* Some things are meant to be *
52
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:09,957
* So give your best
and leave the rest to me. *
53
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,999
Spencer, can I host
a really important dinner party
54
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,242
here tomorrow night,
so I can meet Wes's grandma?
55
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,568
I can? Thank you.
56
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,842
Ooh! Meeting the family?
57
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,941
Sounds like you're
getting serious,
58
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,383
like me and Maeve
and our perfect relationship.
59
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,449
Oh, there's my Sleeping Beauty,
60
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,049
freshly risen
from dozing the day away.
61
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,821
Mmm. Well...
62
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,590
I wouldn't need a nap
if my sweet baby
63
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,589
didn't snore all night.
64
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:40,591
Oh. I could've sworn
I was the one up all night,
65
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:44,234
thanks
to your ocean noise machine.
66
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,832
-Nothing more soothing than
the sounds of seagulls. -Mm.
67
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,144
-Squawk! Squawk! [chuckles]
-Mmm.
68
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,697
I love those birds.
69
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,574
Maybe more than I love you.
70
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,283
[chuckles softly]
Just kidding.
71
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,935
[both laughing]
72
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,853
-Bye. [chuckles]
-[both smooching]
73
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,521
[smooches]
74
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,387
See?
75
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,145
Aren't we adorable?
76
00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:07,564
That was my nightmare.
77
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,459
Seems like you burned right
through the honeymoon phase,
78
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,988
and now you're
on to the next one.
79
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:12,832
Which is what?
80
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,456
The "smean" phase--
81
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,202
where everything's mean...
82
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,167
but with a smile.
83
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,841
Carly, check it out--
the perfect look
84
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:27,037
for Double Dutch's first music
video with a real budget.
85
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:30,240
It's kaleidoscope like
her first single "Kaleidoscope."
86
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,414
And it's tattered like
her second single "Tatters."
87
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,584
And it's elegant
like her third single...
88
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,593
-"Ugly."
-Uh...
89
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,245
yeah, so ugly.
90
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,123
Wow, the disrespect.
91
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,430
Double Dutch is on the rise,
92
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,255
and she's counting on me to help
her get to the next level.
93
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,731
Like, where would Gaga be
without her meat dress?
94
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,270
Or where would Katy Perry be
without her cupcake bra?
95
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,896
Wait, should I be doing
something with food?
96
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,342
I don't know, I don't want
to think about food.
97
00:03:57,438 --> 00:04:00,908
I invited Wes and his
grandmother over for dinner,
98
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,608
and he said
we weren't there yet.
99
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,181
But you've been on nine dates.
100
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:06,849
I know. So after that,
101
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,817
I pushed him just a little...
102
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,416
and he said, "Sure."
103
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,089
Ooh.
104
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,356
I know.
105
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:15,955
Now I have to make
this gourmet feast.
106
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,026
-You don't cook.
-So I can impress his grandma.
107
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,655
Who he didn't want you to meet.
108
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,330
And then maybe
he'll define the relationship
109
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,729
and ask me to be his girlfriend.
110
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,100
You two haven't done that yet?
111
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,568
Oh, I mean, yes!
112
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,737
Great plan. Manifest, queen.
113
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,366
But, look, you don't have
to pretend to cook.
114
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,172
Just be your authentic self.
115
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,783
[phone rings]
116
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,349
[British accent]:
Hello, Harper Designs,
117
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,805
Miss Pennyfeathers speaking.
How may I help you?
118
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:40,953
[normal voice]:
It's Dutch.
119
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:44,619
[British accent]: I'll see
if Miss Harper's available.
120
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,818
Aw, Miss Pennyfeathers,
121
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,920
the hardest-working
fake assistant in the biz.
122
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,962
[normal voice]:
Mm-hmm. Dutch!
123
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,528
How are you?
124
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,056
I hear you're having
a dinner party,
125
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,002
which is perfect timing because
126
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,197
I just finished the beta version
of the app I'm developing.
127
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,539
Can I give you
the Barracuda Boardroom pitch?
128
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,595
Fine. I'll pretend
to be a wealthy,
129
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,474
overly judgmental investor
130
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:07,173
that can make or break you.
131
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,444
[clears throat]
132
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,283
Freddie Benson is
an app designer
133
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,579
from Seattle, Washington.
134
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,180
He's cool with fish,
135
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,381
cruel with bedtimes,
and he's come here today
136
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:19,654
to share an app that's going
to revolutionize cooking.
137
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,858
Hey, Barracudas.
138
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:23,655
Whipping up a big meal is hard.
139
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,757
With all the different recipes
and ingredients and timing,
140
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,600
who can keep it straight?
141
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,126
That's why I created
Bon Appe-timer,
142
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:34,001
the app that takes the guesswork
out of kitchen work.
143
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,771
Just drag in your recipes
and the app alerts you
144
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,610
every step of the way.
145
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,906
This is exactly what I need.
146
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,782
-Well, I'm in.
-You're right.
147
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,647
Kaleidoscope, tatters,
elegance-- it's so passé.
148
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,017
I don't know
why my assistant pulled that.
149
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,216
[British accent]: Please
don't fire me, Miss Harper.
150
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:54,518
I need this job
to feed me family.
151
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,822
[normal voice]: All right,
I'll give you one last chance.
152
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,734
Yeah, girl,
she been messing up a lot.
153
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,927
I got to say, Freddie's app
is saving my butt.
154
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,844
I couldn't decide between
rigatoni, ziti, or spaghetti,
155
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,867
so I found a recipe
that uses them all.
156
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,342
It's called Raviolo Maximo.
157
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,712
It's the Turducken of pasta.
158
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,810
Yeah, Turducken, yum.
159
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:21,682
Wow, the disrespect.
160
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,282
Sorry, I'm distracted.
161
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,054
Dutch has hated the last five
looks I've shown her.
162
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,024
If this one's not a hit,
I'm probably fired.
163
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,562
Do you think she'll like this?
164
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,828
Reminder, I am very fragile.
165
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,596
Yeah, she's gonna love it.
166
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,765
But if she doesn't, are you
just gonna bail on it again?
167
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,225
If I want to keep my job!
168
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,202
I can't just tell
Double Dutch what I think.
169
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,941
But isn't that exactly
what you're hired to do?
170
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,507
Carly...
171
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,136
sweet Carly.
172
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,780
You know nothing.
173
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,508
I've been saying that for years.
174
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,453
Oh, that reminds me.
Millicent, I am begging you,
175
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,019
please be nice to me tonight.
176
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,987
You got it, Aunt Carly.
177
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,756
Wes really hit the jackpot
when he met you.
178
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:04,757
Already bribed her?
179
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,588
Yep. I wanted you to be able
180
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,134
to focus on what matters
the most tonight.
181
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,798
Defining my relationship
with Wes?
182
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,797
No, the real star
of this evening--
183
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,129
my app.
184
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,643
[bell dings]
185
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,395
-Ooh, pasta's ready.
-Great news!
186
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,074
Figured out how to stay
in the honeymoon phase.
187
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,742
I found this book How to Stay
in the Honeymoon Phase.
188
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,042
Listen.
189
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,753
"The first thing
you should know is that
190
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,745
"for every relationship,
the honeymoon phase
191
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,747
ends at some point."
192
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,249
This book was written
by a mean liar.
193
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:32,885
[knocking]
194
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,686
Okay, he's here.
195
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,288
Uh, remember, this dinner is
really important to me,
196
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,991
so everyone be
on their best behavior.
197
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,203
Welcome.
198
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,727
Uh, sorry,
I came straight from work.
199
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,674
Carly, this is my nonna Sylvia.
200
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,439
[CARLY]:
It is so nice to meet you.
201
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,638
Uh, this is my brother
Spencer, that's Freddie
202
00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:55,340
and his daughter Millicent,
and my roommate Harper.
203
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,945
[ALL]:
Hello!
204
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:02,646
What a nice-looking
bunch you are.
205
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,650
And, Carly,
aren't you a stunner.
206
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,253
Thank you, Sylvia.
207
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,624
Oh, call me Nonna.
208
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,359
-I'm gonna change real quick.
-I'll take your coat.
209
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:14,088
-I'll finish setting the table.
-I'll get drinks.
210
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,333
Well, I guess it's just me
and you, Nonna. [chuckles]
211
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,772
Oh, good, because I have
something to tell you.
212
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,940
I don't like you.
213
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,384
This is a disaster.
214
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,079
Wes's nonna hates me.
215
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,321
If she doesn't like me, there's
not gonna be a relationship.
216
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,086
-[bell dings]
-Aah!
217
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,015
Time to layer the three pastas
inside the raviolo!
218
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:44,091
Uh, Spencer, Harper,
go entertain Nonna.
219
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,031
You got it.
220
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,396
Don't leave it to the amateurs
when you've got
221
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:51,195
a pro in the house.
Grannies can't resist
222
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,368
this.
223
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,301
Carly, I will not let you down.
224
00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,635
Wow. What did you
bribe her with?
225
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,640
Bon Appe-timer stock options.
226
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,742
She said it would round out
her portfolio.
227
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,045
Hi, Nonna Sylvia. I'm Millicent.
228
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,947
Want to see me do a cartwheel?
229
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,319
I'd love to.
230
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:11,987
Why don't you do
a few out in the hallway?
231
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,085
But then you won't be able
to see me.
232
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:15,987
Exactly.
233
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,688
Yeah, you're screwed.
234
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,161
[gasps] Oh!
235
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:26,133
Here's my handsome Wesley!
236
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,403
Carly? You're the angel
237
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:31,711
I prayed would land
on this earth
238
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,705
for my grandson.
239
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,305
-She's really into praying.
-[chuckles]
240
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,880
To who?
241
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,253
-[bell dinging]
-Oh. Uh...
242
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,019
Time to put the raviolo
in the oven.
243
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,319
Wait, this doesn't make sense.
244
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,061
How am I supposed
to put the raviolo in
245
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:52,357
when the garlic bread's already
baking at another temperature?
246
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,589
-Hang on a second.
-Okay.
247
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:57,225
-Uh, here.
-[phone rings]
248
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,670
Oh.
249
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,396
[British accent]:
Hello, Harper Designs.
250
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,300
May I place you on a brief hold?
251
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,912
[vocalizing]
252
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,276
At least Spencer's still there.
253
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,507
-[MAEVE]: Spencer!
-Got to go.
254
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,517
Great news,
nothing wrong with the app.
255
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,216
It was user error.
256
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,918
How do people on TV make
dinner parties look so easy?
257
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:24,021
That Barefoot Contessa is
a lying she-devil.
258
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,064
Do you need some help, chef?
259
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,558
Oh, no need.
260
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,360
Everything's running smoothly.
261
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,361
I'm very impressive.
[chuckles]
262
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:32,934
Wow.
263
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,243
Look at all these people that
no one told me were coming over,
264
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,766
my little social butterfly.
265
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,342
It's almost like you heard them,
knew they were here,
266
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,281
and chose not to say hi,
267
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,006
my precious hermit crab.
268
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:48,122
What a fun, little play
you must be rehearsing for.
269
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,445
Since nobody fights
at important dinner parties.
270
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,616
[BOTH]:
Love you! [smooching]
271
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,492
Big problem.
272
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:01,963
There's a problem?
273
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,332
-Here, I can help you.
-Oh, no. No, you can't.
274
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,430
'Cause there's no problem.
275
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,401
You're not gonna leave, are you?
276
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,839
Of course not.
Dutch is coming here.
277
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:11,436
-What? When?
-[knocking]
278
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,768
Now-ish? Look,
279
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,314
I promise it'll be real quick.
280
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,138
She insisted on seeing
her video outfit in person.
281
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:20,014
Carly, if I don't nail this
assignment, I could lose my job.
282
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,923
Okay,
just keep it inconspicuous.
283
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,616
Of course. Nonna won't
even know that she's here.
284
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:32,589
* Hello... *
285
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,232
I assume everyone knows
who I am. No.
286
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,698
I don't need your names.
287
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,627
I will call all of you
Josephine,
288
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,702
after my sister,
whoms I don't like.
289
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,173
Please-please tell me this is
not the outfit you wanted me
290
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,812
-to see.
-Uh... [laughs]
291
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,837
This dumb thing?
[scoffs]
292
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:50,812
No! No.
293
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,578
I don't think it's dumb.
I think it...
294
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,320
It's smoking!
295
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,645
It's on fire!
296
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:03,087
Dinner is moments away.
297
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,720
[chuckles]
298
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,855
You screwed me, Benson.
299
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,527
You had the garlic bread
too close to the broiler.
300
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,559
That's not on me.
301
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,097
Ugh! Where is my outfit?
302
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,873
The shoot is tomorrow.
303
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,441
Um, I'm gonna be
totally honest with you.
304
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:24,380
My assistant Miss Pennyfeathers
is on her way with it.
305
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,177
Okay, well, how far is she?
306
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,449
'Cause I was already hungry,
and now the smell
307
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:31,578
of charred garlic bread
has me ravenous.
308
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,324
Oh, well, do you want to...?
309
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,690
Stay for dinner?
310
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,818
Oh, I would love to!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
311
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,834
* Feed me, feed me *
312
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,586
* If you really need me! *
313
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,003
That just came out of me.
314
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,695
Carly...
315
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,797
do you mind if Dutch stays
for dinner?
316
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,699
Oh, cool.
317
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,701
An unexpected guest,
318
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,573
who also happens to be a
high-maintenance indie darling,
319
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:55,982
at the most important dinner
of my life.
320
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,606
[laughing]
321
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,609
We're having fun!
322
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,386
Um, I'm not a huge fan
of tomatoes,
323
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,286
so I'm not gonna do the pasta.
324
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,858
Um, but it's okay. Don't worry.
325
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:12,387
I will just take whatever
the chef's alternate meal is.
326
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,962
[smooches]
Thank you, Josephine.
327
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,274
You screwed me, too,
Bettencourt.
328
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,543
[chuckles] Carly,
if you don't let me help,
329
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,208
I'll never come over again.
330
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,737
Okay, fine.
331
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,942
Um, could you just make sure
that there...?
332
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,884
Serving spoons? Already got 'em.
333
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,752
What are you wearing?
334
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,350
Something downright adorable
335
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,251
to make that old broad like me.
336
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,553
Ah.
337
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,094
Well, hello, Mrs. Wes's Grandma.
338
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,064
I was hoping that we could
sit next to each other
339
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,762
during dinner, and you could
tell me about the good old days.
340
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,665
Oh, I would love to.
341
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,766
There was this glorious time
342
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,599
a few minutes ago
343
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,614
when you weren't here.
344
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,341
It's official.
345
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,082
I've lost my mojo.
346
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,576
[bell dings]
347
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,186
"Meal complete. You are done."
348
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,215
I am? That was so fast!
349
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,685
-[sighs]
-Moment of truth.
350
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:28,202
Uh... is it supposed to be...
351
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,941
pulsating?
352
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:32,907
The pulsating's
how you know it's done.
353
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,213
I did it.
354
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,838
I can't believe I did it.
355
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,878
Everyone, let's eat!
356
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:42,878
Oh!
357
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,893
This is a beautiful table!
358
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:49,556
And look at the pulsation
on that raviolo!
359
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,156
Thank you, Nonna.
360
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:55,429
Uh, Maeve, my sweet love, would
you like to sit next to me?
361
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,628
No.
362
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,628
I'm really happy we did this.
363
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,403
I knew we were ready.
364
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:07,274
I just love seeing all your
faces around the table.
365
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:08,514
It's so great that...
366
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,978
-[coughing]
-She's choking!
367
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,808
Nonna's choking! Here, get up!
368
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,883
Okay.
[screaming]
369
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,721
Let go of me!
370
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,690
[whimpering]
371
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,159
What are you doing?
372
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,557
You were choking!
373
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,658
-Are you okay?
-I wasn't choking.
374
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,700
I ate a bite of raw sausage
375
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,966
and was trying to spit it out,
when this one jumped on me!
376
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:35,036
I thought you were dying!
377
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,205
I'm sorry, did you say
"raw sausage"?
378
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,939
I have a broken rib.
379
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,384
And I have a broken app.
380
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,849
I am so, so sorry.
381
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,018
I need to lie down.
382
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,288
Uh, you can use my place.
Here, I'll take you.
383
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,886
Aah! Don't touch me!
384
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,888
Yeah, Carly. I'll take her.
385
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,028
[DUTCH]:
So...
386
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,400
do you think it's safe
to eat the salad?
387
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,771
Well, this seals it.
388
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,942
I don't think Wes wants
to be in a relationship
389
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,112
with an elder abuser.
390
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,050
Come on, I'm sure
his grandma's fine.
391
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,606
That's why we have so many ribs.
392
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,584
Oh, I could go for some ribs!
393
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,423
I'm just gonna say
what everyone's thinking.
394
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,748
-Outback.
-Chili's.
395
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:33,857
Okay, I can't just sit here
feeling sorry for myself.
396
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,030
I'm gonna go apologize
to Wes and Sylvia.
397
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,370
[dog whines]
398
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,200
Aw! Who's this little guy?
399
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,102
Her name is Kevin.
400
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,814
And she lives in my purse.
401
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,406
And now...
402
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,608
she lives in my lap.
403
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,551
Can I talk to you
really quick over...?
404
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,006
Oh, yeah.
405
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,775
You want to order a pizza?
Anything but pineapple.
406
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,323
Unless you like pineapple,
in which case, mahalo.
407
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,949
I'm starting to think
that your assistant
408
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,364
isn't coming with my outfit.
409
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,015
No, she's coming.
410
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,734
Uh, maybe
her quintuplets got sick.
411
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,195
Or she had to take her baby
to the airport.
412
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:09,455
Look, if you and I
can't work together
413
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,202
like a well-oiled machine,
414
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:12,728
I'm gonna have
to hire someone else.
415
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,072
Well-oiled machine?
416
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,698
Wes's coveralls. Wait, hold
that thought. I need to work.
417
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:20,644
-If-if that's okay with you.
-Yes, go!
418
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:24,310
I'll fire Miss Pennyfeathers
when she gets here.
419
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,523
Nonna Sylvia?
420
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,545
I'll let you sleep.
421
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,551
I'm so sorry that I hurt you.
422
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:39,862
And... I lied about
knowing how to cook.
423
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,895
I just wanted to impress Wes.
424
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:47,596
And you, 'cause you mean
so much to him.
425
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:51,038
And I like him a lot.
426
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,608
Like, a lot a lot.
427
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,836
Sorry, maybe that's
too many lots.
428
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,442
I like him a sane amount.
429
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,547
I just really hope that maybe
you can forgive me.
430
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,350
And...
431
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,852
Oh, no.
432
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:10,723
Why is your hand
so cold and clammy?
433
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,163
Nonna? Nonna?
434
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,090
Oh, my God.
435
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,895
This can't be happening.
436
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,266
Okay, I-I can do this.
437
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,866
I saw a CPR video online once.
438
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,506
-Clear!
-[both screaming]
439
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,737
-Get off of me!
-Oh, my God!
440
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,442
Wes!
441
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:32,954
She tried to kill me again!
442
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,105
No! No, no, no.
I was trying to save you.
443
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,645
Carly, what are you doing?
444
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,549
I-I'm sorry.
I thought she was dead!
445
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,651
-Well, I'm not!
-A-And I'm glad!
446
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,863
I am so glad you're not dead.
447
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,155
[chuckles]
448
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,957
Again.
449
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,428
Come on, Harper.
450
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,757
Let's see it.
451
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,965
May I present...
452
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,537
Greased Lightning.
453
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,166
Aah! No, you may not.
454
00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,571
Oh, I'm sorry.
455
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,842
I don't love Grease.
456
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,442
First of all,
457
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,484
you need to put some respect
on Olivia Newton-John's name.
458
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,950
-Oh.
-And second of all,
459
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,619
this is the look.
460
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,218
It says you are
the well-oiled machine.
461
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,091
You're in the driver's seat.
462
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,689
-Skrr, skrr.
-Oh. Oh.
463
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,690
-You leave the competition
in the dust. -Ooh.
464
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,662
Honey, you're miles ahead.
465
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:24,001
Oh! Okay, enough car puns.
466
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,767
I'm into it.
467
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,796
You are? Um, I mean,
of course you are.
468
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,201
It's so Dutch.
469
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,373
Oh!
470
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,111
I love Dutch.
471
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,740
Where has this Harper been
this whole time?
472
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,113
Terrified of losing her job.
473
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,752
Aw. Well...
474
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,649
...maybe she can be
slightly less terrified.
475
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,852
She loves that for her.
476
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,132
There you are.
477
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,765
This is where I go
when I need to get some air.
478
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,370
Did we move too fast?
479
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,869
Only according
to everyone we know.
480
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,441
[chuckles]
481
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,479
I mean, I built you the Titanic
for our first date.
482
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,535
Do you think
that was a bad omen?
483
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:15,111
I love you, Maeve,
but I think we need some space.
484
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,084
Hmm. Of course we do.
485
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,653
Because my immature sweetie
has never been
486
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,392
in a real relationship before.
487
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,919
Because my honey bunny
has trust issues
488
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:27,364
from lying to her friends
and family for four years.
489
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,900
[chuckles]
490
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,903
I guess we both got
some growing up to do.
491
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:37,041
Maybe one day we can grow back
towards each other.
492
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,436
Hmm. I'd like that.
493
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,669
I'm not gonna live
on a boat. No.
494
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,376
You okay, Spence?
495
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,854
[both coughing]
496
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,673
Nonna's waiting in the car.
497
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,568
So... I should head out.
498
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,642
I'd say today was fun, but...
499
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,411
I know it wasn't.
500
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,549
And I'd say see you later,
501
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,445
but I know you're
never gonna call me.
502
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,578
You were right.
503
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,183
We weren't ready.
504
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,594
Carly...
505
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,716
no one is ready
to meet my nonna.
506
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:31,261
You probably didn't notice
'cause I told her
507
00:21:31,358 --> 00:21:33,828
to be on her best behavior...
508
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,496
but she can be a serious pill.
509
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:38,696
I don't think so.
510
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,068
Most pills have
healing properties.
511
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,437
[chuckles]
512
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:43,965
You know...
513
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:46,510
my last girlfriend
would have let her choke.
514
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:50,176
Are you saying
that I'm your girlfriend?
515
00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:54,078
Does this answer your question?
516
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,687
-Not really. I mean, am I your
girlfriend? -How about this?
517
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,527
[horn honking]
518
00:22:06,626 --> 00:22:09,096
Damn it, Nonna,
stop salting my game.
519
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,202
Mmm.
520
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:16,470
Can't go wrong
with spaghetti tacos.
521
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,809
Mm-hmm.
522
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,412
This was so worth the wait.
523
00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:24,038
You know what, I get it now.
524
00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:27,853
* Feed me, feed me
a spaghetti taco *
525
00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:29,677
-Yes.
-* But not *
526
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:32,052
* In that outfit. *
527
00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:34,749
Kevin, I know we just met
a few minutes ago,
528
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,694
but would you be interested
in moving in with me?
529
00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:38,789
I'll build you a boat.
530
00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:41,391
Kevin's more
of an independent woman,
531
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:43,134
but if you want,
532
00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:45,029
you can watch her tomorrow
during my video shoot.
533
00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:46,831
[gasps]
I would love that.
534
00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:48,403
This little lady's
gonna help me through
535
00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:49,641
the toughest day of my life.
536
00:22:49,736 --> 00:22:51,566
You know, studies have shown
537
00:22:51,671 --> 00:22:53,771
that petting a dog
is very therapeutic.
538
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,513
Unless your allergic.
539
00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:57,678
Then you'll just get hives.
540
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,551
And too bad there's no way
to connect people who need
541
00:23:00,647 --> 00:23:02,377
pet sitters with...
542
00:23:02,482 --> 00:23:04,622
people who need
therapy animals.
543
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:07,987
Like an Airbnb but for pets.
544
00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:09,557
[gasps]
545
00:23:09,656 --> 00:23:11,416
I'll call the app...
546
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,764
Kevin.
547
00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:16,964
Yeah, I need her back now.
548
00:23:17,014 --> 00:23:21,564
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38517
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.