Original subtitles

Sorry. It's a new place.

Sorry. It's a new place.

Sorry. It's a new place. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. This is... this is nice.

Oh, wow. This is... this is nice. The rent's stabilized.

This is... this is nice. The rent's stabilized. This is very nice.

The rent's stabilized. This is very nice.

This is very nice. Mmm.

Mmm. What do you want to drink?

Mmm. What do you want to drink? Oh.

What do you want to drink? Oh.

Oh. Um...

um... you know, i-i think i should

um... you know, i-i think i should probably go.

You know, i-i think i should probably go. Where are you going?

Probably go. Where are you going? Home.

Where are you going? Home. You just got here.

Home. You just got here. Yeah.

You just got here. Yeah. But...

yeah. But... i got to wake up early tomorrow

but... i got to wake up early tomorrow morning, do some stuff.

I got to wake up early tomorrow morning, do some stuff. Some -- some laundry.

Morning, do some stuff. Some -- some laundry. You have a wife.

Some -- some laundry. You have a wife. What?

You have a wife. What? You have a girlfriend.

What? You have a girlfriend. No. No.

You have a girlfriend. No. No. Are you kidding me?

No. No. Are you kidding me? You th-- you think...

are you kidding me? You th-- you think... do you...

you th-- you think... do you...

do you... you actually think that i

you actually think that i would be here if i had a

you actually think that i would be here if i had a girlfriend?

Would be here if i had a girlfriend? Do you think i would get this

girlfriend? Do you think i would get this far?

Do you think i would get this far?

Far? Oh, i would hope not.

Oh, i would hope not. Yeah.

Oh, i would hope not. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, let's have another drink.

Well, let's have another drink. Um...

well, let's have another drink. Um... i don't know.

Um... i don't know. How do you play this?

I don't know. How do you play this? I don't know this game.

How do you play this? I don't know this game. I don't know any drinking games.

I don't know this game. I don't know any drinking games. All right.

I don't know any drinking games. All right. So, i say, like, "i've never

all right. So, i say, like, "i've never been to china," and if either of

so, i say, like, "i've never been to china," and if either of us habeen to china, then we

been to china," and if either of us habeen to china, then we drink.

Us habeen to china, then we drink. Have you been to china?

Drink. Have you been to china? This doesn't count.

Have you been to china? This doesn't count. I haven't been to china, so i

this doesn't count. I haven't been to china, so i wouldn't drink.

I haven't been to china, so i wouldn't drink. I've never been to prison.

Wouldn't drink. I've never been to prison. I let you off the hook.

I've never been to prison. I let you off the hook. You've never been to prison.

I let you off the hook. You've never been to prison. Couple parking tickets here

you've never been to prison. Couple parking tickets here and there, but never ended up

couple parking tickets here and there, but never ended up in...

and there, but never ended up in... you paid them.

In... you paid them. Um...

you paid them. Um... no boot.

Um... no boot. Always.

No boot. Always. I've never had a brother or a

always. I've never had a brother or a sister.

Two. I thought so. Brother and a sister.

I thought so. Brother and a sister. You got me.

Brother and a sister. You got me. Mm-hmm.

You got me. Mm-hmm. I've never been to grad

mm-hmm. I've never been to grad school.

You and your little button-up shirt there? No?

Shirt there? No? Um, i've never...

no? Um, i've never... i'm gonna get you.

Um, i've never... i'm gonna get you. I've never, uh...

i'm gonna get you. I've never, uh... i've never crashed a car.

I've never, uh... i've never crashed a car.

I've never crashed a car.

Really?

Really? Mm-hmm.

Really? Mm-hmm. Everyone was okay?

Mm-hmm. Everyone was okay? There was no...

everyone was okay? There was no... mm-hmm.

There was no... mm-hmm. Yeah. I broke my finger.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I broke my finger. Oh, god.

Yeah. I broke my finger. Oh, god. Oh, my god!

Oh, god. Oh, my god! That's disgusting.

Oh, my god! That's disgusting. I know.

That's disgusting. I know. That's all that happened.

I know. That's all that happened. That's an unnatural angle.

That's all that happened. That's an unnatural angle. Okay. Um...

that's an unnatural angle. Okay. Um... this one had better get you

okay. Um... this one had better get you drinking.

This one had better get you drinking. I've never made out in my

drinking. I've never made out in my parents' bedroom.

I've never made out in my parents' bedroom. Yes! I got one!

Parents' bedroom. Yes! I got one! You got me.

Yes! I got one! You got me.

You got me. Ah.

Ah. Oh, my god.

Ah. Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. Okay. I got it.

Okay. I got it. Um, i've never...

...sucked a dick. I think you better drink.

I think you better drink. That was a good one.

I think you better drink. That was a good one. Oh, god.

That was a good one. Oh, god.

Oh, god. I got...

i got... i got to go to the bathroom so

i got... i got to go to the bathroom so bad.

I got to go to the bathroom so bad. I have to go to the bathroom so

bad. I have to go to the bathroom so bad, okay?

I have to go to the bathroom so bad, okay? Stay here.

Bad, okay? Stay here. Okay.

Stay here. Okay. I'll be in the bathroom.

Okay. I'll be in the bathroom. I'm stuck.

I'll be in the bathroom. I'm stuck. Oh, i'm stuck on

i'm stuck. Oh, i'm stuck on you.

Oh, i'm stuck on you. Oh, god.

You. Oh, god. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, god. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, no. I'm stuck on you.

Oh, no. I'm stuck on you. You're stuck on me.

I'm stuck on you. You're stuck on me.

You're stuck on me. Wow.

Jesus.

So... hmm? I think i've got to go.

Hmm? I think i've got to go. Okay.

I think i've got to go. Okay. Nobody's stopping you.

Okay. Nobody's stopping you. Yeah.

Nobody's stopping you. Yeah. Um...

yeah. Um... i saw a condom in your

um... i saw a condom in your wastebasket, and it kind of

i saw a condom in your wastebasket, and it kind of freaked me out, so...

wastebasket, and it kind of freaked me out, so... i think it might be best if i

freaked me out, so... i think it might be best if i just leave... now.

I think it might be best if i just leave... now. I have a roommate, you know.

That's your roommate's condom? Well, her boyfriend's in

condom? Well, her boyfriend's in town.

Well, her boyfriend's in town. She's not here right now, so we

town. She's not here right now, so we don't have to whisper.

She's not here right now, so we don't have to whisper.

Don't have to whisper. Mmm.

Mmm. I'm gonna...

mmm. I'm gonna... hold on.

I'm gonna... hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, wait a second.

Hold on. Hold on. Oh, wait a second. Yeah.

Oh, wait a second. Yeah. Wait a second.

Yeah. Wait a second. Oh, hold on.

Wait a second. Oh, hold on. Hold on.

Wait a second, babe. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. One moment. I got it.

Okay. One moment. I got it. I got it.

One moment. I got it. I got it. I got it. Hold on.

I got it. I got it. Hold on. Wait one second.

I got it. Hold on. Wait one second. Okay.

Wait one second. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. All right.

Okay. All right. Hey, you.

Hey. Hey.

Mindy. Mindy?

Oh, my god.

Oh, fuck.

Wait a minute. You feel so good. Oh.

You feel so good. Oh. I don't have a condom on.

Oh. I don't have a condom on. Just go with it.

I don't have a condom on. Just go with it. I don't...

just go with it. I don't...

i'm gonna cum. I'm gonna -- i'm gonna cum. Okay.

I'm gonna -- i'm gonna cum. Okay. I'm...

okay. I'm... where? Where sh--

i'm... where? Where sh--

where? Where sh--

ohh.

Ohh.

Hey. Hmm? Hey, are you awake?

Hmm? Hey, are you awake? No.

Hey, are you awake? No. No?

No. No? Mnh-mnh.

No? Mnh-mnh. Hmm.

Mnh-mnh. Hmm. I just want to...

hmm. I just want to... i want to make sure everything

i just want to... i want to make sure everything was okay.

I want to make sure everything was okay. Mm-hmm.

Was okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah?

Mm-hmm. Yeah? Mm.

Yeah? Mm. All right, so...

mm. All right, so... i mean, everything's cool?

All right, so... i mean, everything's cool? Everything is good.

I mean, everything's cool? Everything is good. Yeah.

Everything is good. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. 'Cause, you know, i know that

yeah. 'Cause, you know, i know that we didn't use a condom last

'cause, you know, i know that we didn't use a condom last night, so i didn't...

we didn't use a condom last night, so i didn't... i want to make sure...

night, so i didn't... i want to make sure... you know?

I want to make sure... you know? You felt amazing.

You know? You felt amazing.

You felt amazing. I need more sleepy time.

I need more sleepy time. Yeah.

I need more sleepy time. Yeah. Well, just remember to take

yeah. Well, just remember to take your contraception thing.

Well, just remember to take your contraception thing. Contraceptive?

Your contraception thing. Contraceptive? The, um...

contraceptive? The, um... pill -- pill thing you take.

The, um... pill -- pill thing you take. What pill?

Pill -- pill thing you take. What pill? The...

what pill? The... you know, the pill in the little

the... you know, the pill in the little round thing.

You know, the pill in the little round thing. The one-a-day thing.

Round thing. The one-a-day thing. That pill.

The one-a-day thing. That pill. I'm not on any pills.

You're not on the pill? Oh, you mean "the pill."

Oh, you mean "the pill." Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The pill.

Yeah. Yeah. The pill. I'm not on that.

Yeah. The pill. I'm not on that. Are you serious?

I'm not on that. Are you serious? Yeah. I'm catholic.

Are you serious? Yeah. I'm catholic. You --

yeah. I'm catholic. You -- you're what?

You -- you're what? The religion with the pope.

You're what? The religion with the pope. Wait -- wait. Hold on.

The religion with the pope. Wait -- wait. Hold on. Wait a minute.

Wait -- wait. Hold on. Wait a minute. Let me get this straight.

Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Okay, we had unprotected sex

let me get this straight. Okay, we had unprotected sex last night, i came inside of

okay, we had unprotected sex last night, i came inside of you, and you are not on the

last night, i came inside of you, and you are not on the pill?

You, and you are not on the pill?

Pill? Are you -- are you kidding?

Are you -- are you kidding? There's nothing to worry

are you -- are you kidding? There's nothing to worry about.

There's nothing to worry about. I know my body.

About. I know my body. I'm not ovulating.

I know my body. I'm not ovulating. How do you know your body,

i'm not ovulating. How do you know your body, huh?

How do you know your body, huh? Does it come with an instruction

huh? Does it come with an instruction manual?

Does it come with an instruction manual?

Manual? No, you smartass.

No, you smartass. I'm in touch with myself, and i

no, you smartass. I'm in touch with myself, and i know i'm not ovulating.

I'm in touch with myself, and i know i'm not ovulating. Okay.

Know i'm not ovulating. Okay. You just had your period?

Okay. You just had your period? Yeah.

You just had your period? Yeah. Great.

Yeah. Great. How many days ago?

Great. How many days ago? Oh, my...

how many days ago? Oh, my... please. Please.

Oh, my... please. Please. I'm sorry.

Please. Please. I'm sorry. Just, uh, you know, kind of put

i'm sorry. Just, uh, you know, kind of put my mind at rest.

Just, uh, you know, kind of put my mind at rest. Okay!

My mind at rest. Okay! All right.

Okay! All right. What was the question?

All right. What was the question? How many days ago did you

what was the question? How many days ago did you have your period?

How many days ago did you have your period? Um...

have your period? Um... what is today?

Um... what is today? Seven...

what is today? Seven... 11 days.

Seven... 11 days. 11 days since the start of

11 days. 11 days since the start of your last period?

11 days since the start of your last period? Since the end...

your last period? Since the end... i think.

Since the end... i think. Okay.

I think. Okay. Um, okay.

Okay. Um, okay. That's not a big deal.

Um, okay. That's not a big deal. We are just gonna have to go to

that's not a big deal. We are just gonna have to go to the pharmacy and get the

we are just gonna have to go to the pharmacy and get the morning-after pill.

The pharmacy and get the morning-after pill. Baby, there's nothing to

morning-after pill. Baby, there's nothing to worry about.

Baby, there's nothing to worry about. I'm not pregnant.

Worry about. I'm not pregnant. Now come back to sleep.

I just really think we should get the morning-after pill. I'm not taking any pill.

Get the morning-after pill. I'm not taking any pill. I can't -- i'm sorry.

I'm not taking any pill. I can't -- i'm sorry. I can't believe this.

I can't -- i'm sorry. I can't believe this. I can't believe this.

I can't believe this. I can't believe this. You held me inside of you.

I can't believe this. You held me inside of you. You should have put on a

you held me inside of you. You should have put on a condom.

You should have put on a condom. Look. I -- i was asleep and

condom. Look. I -- i was asleep and aroused, and i woke up, and you

look. I -- i was asleep and aroused, and i woke up, and you mounted me.

Aroused, and i woke up, and you mounted me. Oh, please.

Mounted me. Oh, please. I am so sorry you got laid last

oh, please. I am so sorry you got laid last night.

I am so sorry you got laid last night. You --

night. You -- you lied to me!

You -- you lied to me! How did i lie to you?

You lied to me! How did i lie to you? The act of holding me inside

how did i lie to you? The act of holding me inside of you was an act of lying.

The act of holding me inside of you was an act of lying. It implied that you were

of you was an act of lying. It implied that you were protected and i didn't need to

it implied that you were protected and i didn't need to use, you know, any kind of

protected and i didn't need to use, you know, any kind of pulling-out method.

Use, you know, any kind of pulling-out method. Baby, i didn't want you to

pulling-out method. Baby, i didn't want you to pull out.

Baby, i didn't want you to pull out. But you're not on the pill.

Pull out. But you're not on the pill. Why would you want me to cum

but you're not on the pill. Why would you want me to cum inside of you?

Why would you want me to cum inside of you? Because i wanted us to feel

inside of you? Because i wanted us to feel close.

We're going to the pharmacy. I'm not killing a life with some abortion pill.

I'm not killing a life with some abortion pill. That's against my beliefs.

Some abortion pill. That's against my beliefs. Okay. Okay. Yep.

That's against my beliefs. Okay. Okay. Yep. Then, um, so what are you --

okay. Okay. Yep. Then, um, so what are you -- what are you saying?

Then, um, so what are you -- what are you saying? You're saying that if you...

what are you saying? You're saying that if you... if you were pregnant...

you're saying that if you... if you were pregnant... you would, um...

if you were pregnant... you would, um... of course i would have the

you would, um... of course i would have the baby.

Of course i would have the baby. Wouldn't you?

So, it's basically the same thing as the regular pill, but a higher dose, so no hypothetical

thing as the regular pill, but a higher dose, so no hypothetical baby, which, you know, probably

higher dose, so no hypothetical baby, which, you know, probably doesn't even exist, is going to

baby, which, you know, probably doesn't even exist, is going to be aborted.

Doesn't even exist, is going to be aborted. Now, there is a pharmacy two

be aborted. Now, there is a pharmacy two blocks away, so we'll go there.

Now, there is a pharmacy two blocks away, so we'll go there. I will pay for it, and then we

blocks away, so we'll go there. I will pay for it, and then we can take it and just put this

i will pay for it, and then we can take it and just put this whole thing behind us.

Can take it and just put this whole thing behind us. No.

Whole thing behind us. No. It'll make me all sick and crazy

no. It'll make me all sick and crazy with hormones, like when i used

it'll make me all sick and crazy with hormones, like when i used to take birth control.

With hormones, like when i used to take birth control. I thought catholics aren't

to take birth control. I thought catholics aren't allowed to take birth control.

I thought catholics aren't allowed to take birth control. That's why i realized it's

allowed to take birth control. That's why i realized it's not right for me.

That's why i realized it's not right for me. Okay. Wait. Wait a minute.

Not right for me. Okay. Wait. Wait a minute. So, it wasn't right for you

okay. Wait. Wait a minute. So, it wasn't right for you because it made you sick, or

so, it wasn't right for you because it made you sick, or because it conflicted with your

because it made you sick, or because it conflicted with your beliefs?

Because it conflicted with your beliefs? Why are you interrogating me?

Beliefs? Why are you interrogating me? Uh, sorry.

Why are you interrogating me? Uh, sorry. You're roommate is a girl,

uh, sorry. You're roommate is a girl, correct?

You're roommate is a girl, correct? Why does that matter?

Correct? Why does that matter? I'm sure that she can listen

why does that matter? I'm sure that she can listen to the facts, and --

i'm sure that she can listen to the facts, and -- i have a confession to make.

To the facts, and -- i have a confession to make. I don't have a roommate.

I have a confession to make. I don't have a roommate. I used to, but now i live alone.

Wow. Okay, then the condom in your wastebasket, that means that

okay, then the condom in your wastebasket, that means that that condom is your condom.

Wastebasket, that means that that condom is your condom. Yes. Well, no.

That condom is your condom. Yes. Well, no. I mean, it's not mine.

Yes. Well, no. I mean, it's not mine. I didn't --

i mean, it's not mine. I didn't -- he used it, but...

i didn't -- he used it, but... unbelievable.

He used it, but... unbelievable. You lied to me.

Unbelievable. You lied to me. So, because i had sex with

you lied to me. So, because i had sex with somebody else, now i'm a whore?

So, because i had sex with somebody else, now i'm a whore? No. Oh, come on, please.

Somebody else, now i'm a whore? No. Oh, come on, please. That's not what i'm saying,

no. Oh, come on, please. That's not what i'm saying, okay?

That's not what i'm saying, okay? I'm just saying, how am i

okay? I'm just saying, how am i supposed to believe you when you

i'm just saying, how am i supposed to believe you when you say you're not ovulating if you

supposed to believe you when you say you're not ovulating if you lied about the condom and having

say you're not ovulating if you lied about the condom and having a roommate?

Lied about the condom and having a roommate? I can't be lying about

a roommate? I can't be lying about ovulating.

I can't be lying about ovulating. How would i know if i was

ovulating. How would i know if i was ovulating?

How would i know if i was ovulating? I thought that you just said

ovulating? I thought that you just said you know your body.

I thought that you just said you know your body. You are making me very...

you know your body. You are making me very... i mean, maybe i'm about to start

you are making me very... i mean, maybe i'm about to start my period.

I mean, maybe i'm about to start my period. Maybe i'm having my period right

my period. Maybe i'm having my period right now, because i'm very hormonal

maybe i'm having my period right now, because i'm very hormonal this morning.

Now, because i'm very hormonal this morning. You've got me very worked up.

Are you sure that you're not ovulating?

Are you sure that you're not ovulating? I am sure.

Ovulating? I am sure. Are you pretty sure, or are

i am sure. Are you pretty sure, or are you very sure?

Are you pretty sure, or are you very sure? I am pretty very sure.

You very sure? I am pretty very sure. Fuck me. You are pregnant.

I am pretty very sure. Fuck me. You are pregnant. I am not!

Fuck me. You are pregnant. I am not! I just -- i can't -- i mean,

i am not! I just -- i can't -- i mean, why did you wear a condom with

i just -- i can't -- i mean, why did you wear a condom with the other guy and then not with

why did you wear a condom with the other guy and then not with me?

The other guy and then not with me? Because i like you, and i

me? Because i like you, and i wanted it to feel good for you,

because i like you, and i wanted it to feel good for you, and you had trouble with the

wanted it to feel good for you, and you had trouble with the condom, and i didn't want it

and you had trouble with the condom, and i didn't want it getting in the way.

Condom, and i didn't want it getting in the way. You know, i just -- i cannot

getting in the way. You know, i just -- i cannot believe that you would have sex

you know, i just -- i cannot believe that you would have sex with two guys, back-to-back like

believe that you would have sex with two guys, back-to-back like that.

With two guys, back-to-back like that. I mean, i should probably get

that. I mean, i should probably get out of here, right?

I mean, i should probably get out of here, right? I'm sure the next guy's coming

out of here, right? I'm sure the next guy's coming in any minute now, right?

I'm sure the next guy's coming in any minute now, right? Gosh, where is he?

You are such an asshole. I just got out of a long-term relationship, and i am not in a

i just got out of a long-term relationship, and i am not in a very good emotional place, and i

relationship, and i am not in a very good emotional place, and i do not appreciate being judged

very good emotional place, and i do not appreciate being judged right now.

Do not appreciate being judged right now.

Right now. You're right. I'm sorry.

You're right. I'm sorry. I've got to...

you're right. I'm sorry. I've got to...

i've got to... um...

i just, um... i am very shaken up right now, and i apologize for that.

I am very shaken up right now, and i apologize for that. Do you trust me?

And i apologize for that. Do you trust me? I want to trust you.

Do you trust me? I want to trust you. I really do.

I want to trust you. I really do. But i need to be given, you

i really do. But i need to be given, you know, a little assurance.

But i need to be given, you know, a little assurance. Right?

Know, a little assurance. Right? And i just want you to know that

right? And i just want you to know that i had more fun with you last

and i just want you to know that i had more fun with you last night than i have had with

i had more fun with you last night than i have had with anyone in a very long time.

And i didn't expect that.

Hi. Hi. How can i help you?

Hi. How can i help you? Uh, we need the morning-after

how can i help you? Uh, we need the morning-after pill.

Uh, we need the morning-after pill. I just need to see a picture

pill. I just need to see a picture i.d. from you.

I just need to see a picture i.d. from you. Thank you.

I.d. from you. Thank you. I'll be right back.

Thank you. I'll be right back. Whoa.

I'll be right back. Whoa.

Whoa. Hold on one second.

Okay. Here is the pill and... water. And we are ready for liftoff.

Here is the pill and... water. And we are ready for liftoff.

Look, i'm serious. Really. I mean, look. It says on the package right

i mean, look. It says on the package right here, "the sooner you take it

it says on the package right here, "the sooner you take it after intercourse, the more

here, "the sooner you take it after intercourse, the more effective it is."

After intercourse, the more effective it is." Wow.

Effective it is." Wow. You really can't get this over

wow. You really can't get this over with quick enough.

You really can't get this over with quick enough. What?

With quick enough. What? You're gonna make me do it in

what? You're gonna make me do it in front of the pharmacist?

You're gonna make me do it in front of the pharmacist? No.

Front of the pharmacist? No. Look, i just -- i want to put

no. Look, i just -- i want to put this part behind us so we can,

look, i just -- i want to put this part behind us so we can, you know...

happy? Is it down?

Happy? Is it down? Let me see the tongue.

Is it down? Let me see the tongue. Let me see the tongue.

Let me see the tongue. Let me see the tongue. Yes! It's down!

Let me see the tongue. Yes! It's down! I'm happy. I'm very happy.

Yes! It's down! I'm happy. I'm very happy. We just passed our first

i'm happy. I'm very happy. We just passed our first obstacle.

We just passed our first obstacle. Yes.

Obstacle. Yes. Whoo!

Yes. Whoo! That's the spirit.

Whoo! That's the spirit. Good work.

That's the spirit. Good work. Mmm.

Good work. Mmm. I'm starving.

Mmm. I'm starving. Why don't we go get something to

i'm starving. Why don't we go get something to eat?

Why don't we go get something to eat? Uh, yeah.

Eat? Uh, yeah. We'll do some breakfast?

Uh, yeah. We'll do some breakfast? Sure.

We'll do some breakfast? Sure. Or, um...

sure. Or, um... oh, shit.

Or, um... oh, shit. Today's not great.

Oh, shit. Today's not great. You want to just do...

today's not great. You want to just do... let's do breakfast another day.

You want to just do... let's do breakfast another day. Are you serious?

Let's do breakfast another day. Are you serious? What?

Are you serious? What? We haven't even walked out of

what? We haven't even walked out of the pharmacy, and you're already

we haven't even walked out of the pharmacy, and you're already blowing me off?

The pharmacy, and you're already blowing me off? No. I'm not blowing you off.

Blowing me off? No. I'm not blowing you off. I just, you know...

no. I'm not blowing you off. I just, you know... it's just i've got a bunch of

i just, you know... it's just i've got a bunch of stuff to do today.

It's just i've got a bunch of stuff to do today. A bunch of stuff to do?

Stuff to do today. A bunch of stuff to do? Well, it's, you know, stuff

a bunch of stuff to do? Well, it's, you know, stuff that i told you about that i had

well, it's, you know, stuff that i told you about that i had to do.

That i told you about that i had to do. Hey, look.

To do. Hey, look. I mean, we're gonna hang out, of

hey, look. I mean, we're gonna hang out, of course.

I mean, we're gonna hang out, of course. It's just, you know -- it's not

course. It's just, you know -- it's not a great time today right now.

It's just, you know -- it's not a great time today right now. Let's do it later in the week.

A great time today right now. Let's do it later in the week. What?

Let's do it later in the week. What? You never even asked for my

what? You never even asked for my number.

You never even asked for my number. Oh, shit.

Number. Oh, shit. Can i...

oh, shit. Can i... can i get your number?

Can i... can i get your number? No.

Can i get your number? No. You know what?

No. You know what? Just forget it.

You know what? Just forget it. What the f--

just forget it. What the f-- mindy, come on!

What the f-- mindy, come on! Okay.

Mindy, come on! Okay. $45.99.

Okay. $45.99. Geez.

$45.99. Geez.

Geez.

Lady trouble, huh?

Lady trouble, huh? Yeah.

Lady trouble, huh? Yeah.

Yeah. She should take the first one

she should take the first one as soon as possible and the

she should take the first one as soon as possible and the second one 12 hours later.

As soon as possible and the second one 12 hours later. What second one?

Second one 12 hours later. What second one? Emergency contraceptive is

what second one? Emergency contraceptive is two pills.

Emergency contraceptive is two pills. She needs to take both doses.

Two pills. She needs to take both doses.

She needs to take both doses. She should eat something with

she should eat something with each dose, or she may vomit.

She should eat something with each dose, or she may vomit. If she vomits, we'll have to

each dose, or she may vomit. If she vomits, we'll have to repeat the dose.

If she vomits, we'll have to repeat the dose. Side effects include nausea,

repeat the dose. Side effects include nausea, dizziness, headaches.

Side effects include nausea, dizziness, headaches. Play it safe.

Hey! Mindy! Mindy, wait up!

Mindy! Mindy, wait up! Wait up. Wait up.

Mindy, wait up! Wait up. Wait up. Wait, wait, wait. Mindy, listen.

Wait up. Wait up. Wait, wait, wait. Mindy, listen. Look. I'm so--

wait, wait, wait. Mindy, listen. Look. I'm so-- i just -- i want to apologize

look. I'm so-- i just -- i want to apologize for my behavior back there.

I just -- i want to apologize for my behavior back there. You acted like an asshole.

For my behavior back there. You acted like an asshole. Yeah, i know. I know.

You acted like an asshole. Yeah, i know. I know. And i want you to know that i

yeah, i know. I know. And i want you to know that i think breakfast is a wonderful

and i want you to know that i think breakfast is a wonderful idea.

Think breakfast is a wonderful idea. Yeah, well, i'm not hungry.

Idea. Yeah, well, i'm not hungry. Okay. Hey, listen. Look.

Yeah, well, i'm not hungry. Okay. Hey, listen. Look. Please.

Okay. Hey, listen. Look. Please. Please.

Please. Please. Don't go back to bed angry with

please. Don't go back to bed angry with me.

How you doing, buddy? We are starving. What can come out really fast?

We are starving. What can come out really fast? Eggs.

What can come out really fast? Eggs. Eggs. That's wonderful.

Eggs. Eggs. That's wonderful. We'll have two orders of

eggs. That's wonderful. We'll have two orders of scrambled eggs with bacon and

we'll have two orders of scrambled eggs with bacon and toast.

Scrambled eggs with bacon and toast. I'll just have coffee.

Toast. I'll just have coffee. Uh, no. Two orders.

I'll just have coffee. Uh, no. Two orders. And two coffees.

Uh, no. Two orders. And two coffees. I'm fine with just coffee.

And two coffees. I'm fine with just coffee. Yeah. Just bring it all.

I'm fine with just coffee. Yeah. Just bring it all. We're gonna work it out.

Yeah. Just bring it all. We're gonna work it out. Hey, listen.

We're gonna work it out. Hey, listen. What was that?

Hey, listen. What was that? These are my make-up eggs.

What was that? These are my make-up eggs. I'm fine with just make-up

these are my make-up eggs. I'm fine with just make-up coffee.

I'm fine with just make-up coffee. No. No, no, no, no.

Coffee. No. No, no, no, no. Somehow, that doesn't feel

no. No, no, no, no. Somehow, that doesn't feel substantial enough.

Somehow, that doesn't feel substantial enough. You know, i feel better buying

substantial enough. You know, i feel better buying you a meal.

You know, i feel better buying you a meal. And i appreciate that, and

you a meal. And i appreciate that, and i'm not gonna eat it.

And i appreciate that, and i'm not gonna eat it. Drinking coffee on an empty

i'm not gonna eat it. Drinking coffee on an empty stomach is a very bad idea.

Drinking coffee on an empty stomach is a very bad idea. Why are you my nutritionist

stomach is a very bad idea. Why are you my nutritionist all of a sudden?

Why are you my nutritionist all of a sudden? Okay. Look.

All of a sudden? Okay. Look. After you left, the pharmacist

okay. Look. After you left, the pharmacist said that you shouldn't take the

after you left, the pharmacist said that you shouldn't take the pill on an empty stomach because

said that you shouldn't take the pill on an empty stomach because then you might throw up, and

pill on an empty stomach because then you might throw up, and then you have to repeat the

then you might throw up, and then you have to repeat the dose, and then he also told

then you have to repeat the dose, and then he also told me --

dose, and then he also told me -- so, that's why you came back

me -- so, that's why you came back for me?

So, that's why you came back for me? What?

For me? What? Oh.

What? Oh. No. No, no, no. No. No.

Oh. No. No, no, no. No. No. I came back because i wanted to

no. No, no, no. No. No. I came back because i wanted to apologize for my stupid behavior

i came back because i wanted to apologize for my stupid behavior and to get to know you better.

Apologize for my stupid behavior and to get to know you better. You are such a liar.

And to get to know you better. You are such a liar. Okay. All right.

You are such a liar. Okay. All right. Look, okay?

Okay. All right. Look, okay? I promise you i will not mention

look, okay? I promise you i will not mention the pill again if you just take

i promise you i will not mention the pill again if you just take a couple bites.

The pill again if you just take a couple bites. Come on.

A couple bites. Come on. Thank you.

Come on. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Don't -- don't make me feed you.

Thank you. Don't -- don't make me feed you. I don't want to play airplane

don't -- don't make me feed you. I don't want to play airplane with you.

I don't want to play airplane with you. Come on.

With you. Come on.

Good. See?

You know, since you got me up so early, maybe you can do me a favor.

So early, maybe you can do me a favor. I need help moving some stuff

favor. I need help moving some stuff from my old apartment.

I need help moving some stuff from my old apartment. Yeah. That's great.

From my old apartment. Yeah. That's great. Totally. Yeah.

Yeah. That's great. Totally. Yeah. You sure?

Totally. Yeah. You sure? Of course.

You sure? Of course. Yeah. I'd love to help.

Of course. Yeah. I'd love to help. Okay.

Okay.

Fred, this is jim, my old roommate.

Fred, this is jim, my old roommate. Jim, this is fred.

Roommate. Jim, this is fred. I'm just here to pick up the

jim, this is fred. I'm just here to pick up the rest of my stuff, so it should

i'm just here to pick up the rest of my stuff, so it should only be a few minutes...

rest of my stuff, so it should only be a few minutes... i think.

Only be a few minutes... i think.

How do you know mindy? Uh, we're friends. Friends.

Uh, we're friends. Friends.

Friends. Yeah. Friends.

Yeah. Friends. Hmm.

Yeah. Friends. Hmm. Sort of, well, more maybe

hmm. Sort of, well, more maybe acquaintances, but...

sort of, well, more maybe acquaintances, but... when did you guys meet?

Acquaintances, but... when did you guys meet? Uh, well, we, um...

when did you guys meet? Uh, well, we, um... it was sort of a --

uh, well, we, um... it was sort of a -- it was a wh--

it was sort of a -- it was a wh-- not so long ago.

It was a wh-- not so long ago. Feels like a long time ago,

not so long ago. Feels like a long time ago, but, uh...

feels like a long time ago, but, uh... where?

But, uh... where? Oh, just, uh...

where? Oh, just, uh... like, at a -- at a -- at a

oh, just, uh... like, at a -- at a -- at a party, so, kind of...

like, at a -- at a -- at a party, so, kind of...

party, so, kind of... uh...

uh... at a party?

Uh... at a party? What party?

At a party? What party? Just, like, a party party.

What party? Just, like, a party party.

Just, like, a party party. Was there alcohol there?

Was there alcohol there? Uh, there -- there was some

was there alcohol there? Uh, there -- there was some alcohol involved.

Uh, there -- there was some alcohol involved. I understand.

Give me one second, okay, buddy? Who the fuck is that?!

Who the fuck is that?! Why is he in my living room, and

who the fuck is that?! Why is he in my living room, and he fucking has his shoes on?!

Why is he in my living room, and he fucking has his shoes on?! We are just -- i'm picking up

he fucking has his shoes on?! We are just -- i'm picking up my bags.

We are just -- i'm picking up my bags. I had three drinks. I --

my bags. I had three drinks. I -- why are you being dishonest?!

I had three drinks. I -- why are you being dishonest?! I'm not being dishonest!

Why are you being dishonest?! I'm not being dishonest! I just -- i'm not --

i'm not being dishonest! I just -- i'm not -- why?!

I just -- i'm not -- why?! I just have to get out of

why?! I just have to get out of here.

I just have to get out of here. Um, okay.

Here. Um, okay. I don't know where the other bag

um, okay. I don't know where the other bag is.

I don't know where the other bag is. Do you know where that is?

Is. Do you know where that is? Wait. Sit down.

Do you know where that is? Wait. Sit down. I'm not sitting --

wait. Sit down. I'm not sitting -- sit down!

I'm not sitting -- sit down! Sit down and talk to me!

Sit down! Sit down and talk to me! I'm not gonna do -- okay.

Sit down and talk to me! I'm not gonna do -- okay. Hey, can you go into the bedroom

i'm not gonna do -- okay. Hey, can you go into the bedroom and get the other suitcase?

Hey, can you go into the bedroom and get the other suitcase? I can't deal with him anymore.

And get the other suitcase? I can't deal with him anymore. What? No, no.

I can't deal with him anymore. What? No, no. I don't -- i should not --

what? No, no. I don't -- i should not -- he's harmless. Trust me.

Great.

Stay. Please, stay.

Stay. Please, stay. Just -- just chill with a bro

please, stay. Just -- just chill with a bro for a second, man.

Just -- just chill with a bro for a second, man. Just kick it with a bro real

for a second, man. Just kick it with a bro real quick.

Just kick it with a bro real quick.

I did so much for her.

I did so much for her. Well, you know, man,

i did so much for her. Well, you know, man, sometimes relationships, they --

well, you know, man, sometimes relationships, they -- they sizzle, and then they... and

sometimes relationships, they -- they sizzle, and then they... and then they fizzle.

They sizzle, and then they... and then they fizzle. You know, i would -- i would

then they fizzle. You know, i would -- i would call her every day at work and

you know, i would -- i would call her every day at work and tell her i loved her.

Call her every day at work and tell her i loved her. I would -- i would wait in line

tell her i loved her. I would -- i would wait in line for hours...

i would -- i would wait in line for hours...

for hours... ...hours at the shake shack just

...hours at the shake shack just to get her what she wanted.

...hours at the shake shack just to get her what she wanted. Hmm.

To get her what she wanted. Hmm. And i never cheated on her.

Hmm. And i never cheated on her. Many times, i could have.

And i never cheated on her. Many times, i could have. There was a neighbor.

Many times, i could have. There was a neighbor. She always wanted to fuck me.

There was a neighbor. She always wanted to fuck me. I kept turning her down, and

she always wanted to fuck me. I kept turning her down, and there was this chick at my job,

i kept turning her down, and there was this chick at my job, and i could have fucked these

there was this chick at my job, and i could have fucked these bitches, man.

And i could have fucked these bitches, man. Mm-hmm.

Bitches, man. Mm-hmm. I didn't.

Mm-hmm. I didn't. Yeah.

I didn't. Yeah. I'm a good person.

Yeah. I'm a good person. I am.

I'm a good person. I am.

I am. I -- i can't believe that you

i -- i can't believe that you just threw me into that.

I -- i can't believe that you just threw me into that. He was my roommate.

Just threw me into that. He was my roommate. That's the truth.

He was my roommate. That's the truth. How? In a one-bedroom?

That's the truth. How? In a one-bedroom? We started out as roommates

how? In a one-bedroom? We started out as roommates in a different apartment, and

we started out as roommates in a different apartment, and then it grew into something

in a different apartment, and then it grew into something more.

Then it grew into something more. What went wrong?

More. What went wrong? He smothered me with

what went wrong? He smothered me with affection.

He smothered me with affection. I was getting, like, 30 texts

affection. I was getting, like, 30 texts and 10 phone calls a day with

i was getting, like, 30 texts and 10 phone calls a day with inane updates on every detail of

and 10 phone calls a day with inane updates on every detail of his life.

Inane updates on every detail of his life.

His life.

And when he did do something

and when he did do something interesting or romantic, i

and when he did do something interesting or romantic, i couldn't care anymore.

Interesting or romantic, i couldn't care anymore. He was too needy.

Couldn't care anymore. He was too needy. Well, did you ever tell the

he was too needy. Well, did you ever tell the guy how you felt?

Well, did you ever tell the guy how you felt? Of course i did, but nothing

guy how you felt? Of course i did, but nothing changed.

Of course i did, but nothing changed. Us breaking up was for the best.

Changed. Us breaking up was for the best.

Us breaking up was for the best. I mean, he wanted to pin his

i mean, he wanted to pin his entire existence on me.

I mean, he wanted to pin his entire existence on me. Whew.

Entire existence on me. Whew. You know, i think that you

whew. You know, i think that you might have jumped the gun with

you know, i think that you might have jumped the gun with jim.

Might have jumped the gun with jim. You think i should still be

jim. You think i should still be with jim?

You think i should still be with jim? Well, a guy like jim is -- is

with jim? Well, a guy like jim is -- is a really good guy, and, in the

well, a guy like jim is -- is a really good guy, and, in the future, you know, you may want

a really good guy, and, in the future, you know, you may want to give a guy like that a second

future, you know, you may want to give a guy like that a second chance, you know?

To give a guy like that a second chance, you know? So... are you saying you're

chance, you know? So... are you saying you're not happy we met?

So... are you saying you're not happy we met? What?

Not happy we met? What? No. No, no, no, no, no. No.

What? No. No, no, no, no, no. No. I-i'm thrilled that we met.

No. No, no, no, no, no. No. I-i'm thrilled that we met. I-i'm really -- i'm glad that

i-i'm thrilled that we met. I-i'm really -- i'm glad that we...

i-i'm really -- i'm glad that we... i'm really...

we... i'm really... so, why are you blowing jim

i'm really... so, why are you blowing jim up and putting him on a

so, why are you blowing jim up and putting him on a pedestal?

Up and putting him on a pedestal? I'm -- okay. Listen, okay?

Pedestal? I'm -- okay. Listen, okay? It's just that -- okay,

i'm -- okay. Listen, okay? It's just that -- okay, compromise is a big part of

it's just that -- okay, compromise is a big part of being in a relationship, right?

Compromise is a big part of being in a relationship, right? And, um, this is someth--

being in a relationship, right? And, um, this is someth-- i've read a book once.

And, um, this is someth-- i've read a book once. I mean, i skimmed it and read

i've read a book once. I mean, i skimmed it and read the jacket cover, but the point

i mean, i skimmed it and read the jacket cover, but the point of the book was that women --

the jacket cover, but the point of the book was that women -- and i'm sure -- positive -- that

of the book was that women -- and i'm sure -- positive -- that this applies to men, as well --

and i'm sure -- positive -- that this applies to men, as well -- shouldn't wait for the perfect

this applies to men, as well -- shouldn't wait for the perfect mate to just roll into their

shouldn't wait for the perfect mate to just roll into their lives -- that they should

mate to just roll into their lives -- that they should settle, sometimes, for mr. Or

lives -- that they should settle, sometimes, for mr. Or mrs. Good enough.

Settle, sometimes, for mr. Or mrs. Good enough. So...

mrs. Good enough. So... this is you trying to break up

so... this is you trying to break up with me?

This is you trying to break up with me?

With me? What? No.

What? No. I'm not breaking up with you.

What? No. I'm not breaking up with you. I mean, there's -- we can't

i'm not breaking up with you. I mean, there's -- we can't break up, you know?

I mean, there's -- we can't break up, you know? I mean, we're not together in,

break up, you know? I mean, we're not together in, like, a girlfriend-boyfriend

i mean, we're not together in, like, a girlfriend-boyfriend sense.

Like, a girlfriend-boyfriend sense. So, what are we?

Sense. So, what are we? I -- hey, wha--

so, what are we? I -- hey, wha-- i'm just...

i -- hey, wha-- i'm just...

i'm just... i'm just giving you some

i'm just giving you some friendly advice here.

I'm just giving you some friendly advice here. So, that's what we are, then?

Friendly advice here. So, that's what we are, then? Are we friends?

So, that's what we are, then? Are we friends? Of course you're my friend.

Are we friends? Of course you're my friend. But you're also much more than a

of course you're my friend. But you're also much more than a friend.

But you're also much more than a friend. So, we are...?

Friend. So, we are...? We are just really, you know,

so, we are...? We are just really, you know, good...

we are just really, you know, good... good friends.

Good... good friends. I think you should get out.

Good friends. I think you should get out. What?

I think you should get out. What? I just want you out.

What? I just want you out. Please leave.

I just want you out. Please leave. Hey, hold on. Listen, okay?

Please leave. Hey, hold on. Listen, okay? I am sorry, okay?

Hey, hold on. Listen, okay? I am sorry, okay? I'm -- i'm an idiot.

I am sorry, okay? I'm -- i'm an idiot. Look, i thought we were having

i'm -- i'm an idiot. Look, i thought we were having kind of an educated dialogue.

Look, i thought we were having kind of an educated dialogue. It's like you want us to fail

kind of an educated dialogue. It's like you want us to fail and jim and me to succeed.

It's like you want us to fail and jim and me to succeed. No. No. Are you kidding me?

And jim and me to succeed. No. No. Are you kidding me? No. Hold on. Look.

No. No. Are you kidding me? No. Hold on. Look. I was just saying that he seemed

no. Hold on. Look. I was just saying that he seemed like a nice guy, but that is

i was just saying that he seemed like a nice guy, but that is clearly a very misguided

like a nice guy, but that is clearly a very misguided judgment on my point of view,

clearly a very misguided judgment on my point of view, and i'm an idiot, so i

judgment on my point of view, and i'm an idiot, so i apologize.

And i'm an idiot, so i apologize. I know what's going on here.

Apologize. I know what's going on here. You know -- you know what?

I know what's going on here. You know -- you know what? What is going on here?

You know -- you know what? What is going on here? I see what you're trying to

what is going on here? I see what you're trying to do, and it's not gonna work.

I see what you're trying to do, and it's not gonna work. You -- you -- what do you

do, and it's not gonna work. You -- you -- what do you know that i'm trying to do?

You -- you -- what do you know that i'm trying to do? I'm not really trying to do

know that i'm trying to do? I'm not really trying to do anything...

i'm not really trying to do anything... you are trying to get me to

anything... you are trying to get me to do something that i don't want

you are trying to get me to do something that i don't want to do.

Do something that i don't want to do. I would never try to get you

to do. I would never try to get you to do anything that you don't

i would never try to get you to do anything that you don't want to do.

To do anything that you don't want to do. You're testing me.

Want to do. You're testing me. Baby, you have nothing to be

you're testing me. Baby, you have nothing to be jealous about.

Baby, you have nothing to be jealous about. It's over between me and jim.

Jealous about. It's over between me and jim.

It's over between me and jim. Yes. I do.

Yes. I do. I get -- i get really jealous

yes. I do. I get -- i get really jealous sometimes.

I get -- i get really jealous sometimes. Ohh, that is so sweet.

Sometimes. Ohh, that is so sweet. I have an idea.

Ohh, that is so sweet. I have an idea. You do?

I have an idea. You do? Do you want to come with

you do? Do you want to come with the...

do you want to come with the...

the... i'm so excited, i can't even

i'm so excited, i can't even talk.

I'm so excited, i can't even talk. Do you want to come with me to a

talk. Do you want to come with me to a party?

Do you want to come with me to a party? Um, a party.

Party? Um, a party. A birthday party.

Um, a party. A birthday party. Um, yeah. Okay.

A birthday party. Um, yeah. Okay. Sure.

Um, yeah. Okay. Sure. I don't want to impose.

Sure. I don't want to impose. No, no, that's --

i don't want to impose. No, no, that's -- don't you have stuff to do?

No, no, that's -- don't you have stuff to do? No.

Don't you have stuff to do? No. What's wrong with a party?

No. What's wrong with a party? God, you're wonderful.

What's wrong with a party? God, you're wonderful.

Come on, come on, come on!

Bonjour!

Bonjour! And you must

bonjour! And you must be the new boyfriend.

And you must be the new boyfriend. Uh...

be the new boyfriend. Uh... fred, this is my mom, nadine.

Uh... fred, this is my mom, nadine. Mindy just told me on the

fred, this is my mom, nadine. Mindy just told me on the phone you were coming.

Mindy just told me on the phone you were coming. Fred didn't know you were

phone you were coming. Fred didn't know you were gonna be here.

Fred didn't know you were gonna be here. My daughter, she loves

gonna be here. My daughter, she loves surprises.

My daughter, she loves surprises. Please come in.

Surprises. Please come in.

Please come in. There he is, the birthday boy!

There he is, the birthday boy! What game did you get me?

There he is, the birthday boy! What game did you get me? No! No peeking!

What game did you get me? No! No peeking! No peeking!

No! No peeking! No peeking! Whatev.

No peeking! Whatev. Please, fred, come in.

Whatev. Please, fred, come in. I'd like you to meet my husband,

please, fred, come in. I'd like you to meet my husband, renault.

I'd like you to meet my husband, renault. Renault?

Renault. Renault? Renault!

Renault? Renault! This is fred.

Renault! This is fred. Welcome to

this is fred. Welcome to our home.

Welcome to our home.

Our home. Ah. Thank you.

Ah. Thank you. Thank you.

Ah. Thank you. Thank you. May i get you something to

thank you. May i get you something to drink?

May i get you something to drink? No. No, thank you.

Drink? No. No, thank you. Oh, please, sit down.

So, how did you meet mindy?

So, how did you meet mindy? Um, we were just, uh, old

so, how did you meet mindy? Um, we were just, uh, old friends.

Um, we were just, uh, old friends. Oh.

Friends. Oh. And then we reconnected

oh. And then we reconnected recently through mutual friends.

And then we reconnected recently through mutual friends. Ah, oui, oui, oui, c'est le

recently through mutual friends. Ah, oui, oui, oui, c'est le book-face.

Ah, oui, oui, oui, c'est le book-face. No, no, renault. Facebook.

Book-face. No, no, renault. Facebook. Oh, yes, bakefoos.

No, no, renault. Facebook. Oh, yes, bakefoos. Facebook.

Oh, yes, bakefoos. Facebook. Uh, no. Not facebook.

Facebook. Uh, no.

Uh, no. Not facebook. So, you've known each other

so, you've known each other for a while.

So, you've known each other for a while. Well, i don't --

for a while. Well, i don't -- you know, it's hard to say,

well, i don't -- you know, it's hard to say, but...

you know, it's hard to say, but... what field are you in, fred?

But... what field are you in, fred? I-i'm a freelance copywriter.

What field are you in, fred? I-i'm a freelance copywriter. Ah. You're a writer.

I-i'm a freelance copywriter. Ah. You're a writer. Yep. I'm a -- yeah.

Ah. You're a writer. Yep. I'm a -- yeah. Horrible way to make a

yep. I'm a -- yeah. Horrible way to make a living.

Horrible way to make a living. Renault!

Living. Renault!

Renault!

What?

What? No, it's -- i mean, it can be

what? No, it's -- i mean, it can be challenging.

No, it's -- i mean, it can be challenging. Have you done anything that

challenging. Have you done anything that we might have seen?

Have you done anything that we might have seen? Uh, i wrote a commercial for

we might have seen? Uh, i wrote a commercial for metamucil.

Uh, i wrote a commercial for metamucil. Meta-muzil.

Metamucil. Meta-muzil. No. Metamucil.

Meta-muzil. No. Metamucil. Meta-- metamucil.

No. Metamucil. Meta-- metamucil. Metamucil, pour la...

meta-- metamucil. Metamucil,

metamucil, pour la... ah, oui.

Ah, oui.

Ah, oui. It was on the short list for

it was on the short list for a clio.

It was on the short list for a clio. Uh, who is clio?

A clio. Uh, who is clio? No. A clio.

Uh, who is clio? No. A clio. A clio.

No. A clio. A clio. Aclio.

A clio. Aclio. A clio. It's an award.

Aclio. A clio. It's an award. Ah, an award.

A clio. It's an award. Ah, an award. So, you won an award?

Ah, an award. So, you won an award? The director, he was

so, you won an award? The director, he was nominated, but he lost.

The director, he was nominated, but he lost.

Nominated, but he lost. Um, yeah, i've been spending

um, yeah, i've been spending most of my time working on my

um, yeah, i've been spending most of my time working on my novel.

Most of my time working on my novel. Ah, so that's exciting.

Novel. Ah, so that's exciting. Hmm.

Ah, so that's exciting. Hmm. What's it about?

Hmm. What's it about? Uh, it's -- it's, well --

what's it about? Uh, it's -- it's, well -- i-i guess i'm still kind of

uh, it's -- it's, well -- i-i guess i'm still kind of trying to hammer out the central

i-i guess i'm still kind of trying to hammer out the central premise, but it's, uh, set in

trying to hammer out the central premise, but it's, uh, set in new york.

Premise, but it's, uh, set in new york. It's kind of a coming-of-age,

new york. It's kind of a coming-of-age, romantic...

it's kind of a coming-of-age, romantic... fred, have you ever

romantic... fred, have you ever considered business school?

Fred, have you ever considered business school? Uh, what? No. I haven't.

Considered business school? Uh, what? No. I haven't. Why?

Uh, what? No. I haven't. Why? Something to think about.

Why? Something to think about. Renault!

Something to think about. Renault! No, no.

Renault! No, no. But it's good to have a back-up

no, no. But it's good to have a back-up plan for when the writing

but it's good to have a back-up plan for when the writing doesn't pan out.

Plan for when the writing doesn't pan out. Dad. Please don't abuse fred.

Doesn't pan out. Dad. Please don't abuse fred. We are just making

dad. Please don't abuse fred. We are just making conversation, darling.

We are just making conversation, darling.

Conversation, darling. Come help me wrap.

Come help me wrap.

Come help me wrap.

Oh, that must be rose.

Oh, that must be rose. I-i cannot believe th--

oh, that must be rose. I-i cannot believe th-- i know you're upset, but i

i-i cannot believe th-- i know you're upset, but i really appreciate you being

i know you're upset, but i really appreciate you being here.

Really appreciate you being here. This is unconscionable.

Here. This is unconscionable. What does that mean?

This is unconscionable. What does that mean? That means this is a family

what does that mean? That means this is a family birthday party, and what the

that means this is a family birthday party, and what the fuck am i doing here?

Birthday party, and what the fuck am i doing here? Because i need you here.

Fuck am i doing here? Because i need you here. Why do you need me here?

Because i need you here. Why do you need me here? Because i can't face my

why do you need me here? Because i can't face my sister alone.

Because i can't face my sister alone. Oh, that's won--

sister alone. Oh, that's won-- your sister's coming.

Oh, that's won-- your sister's coming. That's great.

Your sister's coming. That's great. What about an aunt? An uncle?

That's great. What about an aunt? An uncle? Maybe some second cousins.

What about an aunt? An uncle? Maybe some second cousins. Fred, calm down.

Maybe some second cousins. Fred, calm down. You should have just told me

fred, calm down. You should have just told me the truth instead of dropping me

you should have just told me the truth instead of dropping me into this snake pit.

The truth instead of dropping me into this snake pit. My family is not a bunch of

into this snake pit. My family is not a bunch of snakes.

My family is not a bunch of snakes. Look, i don't appreciate

snakes. Look, i don't appreciate getting career advice from your

look, i don't appreciate getting career advice from your father two minutes after meeting

getting career advice from your father two minutes after meeting him.

Father two minutes after meeting him. If i had told you exactly who

him. If i had told you exactly who was gonna be here, you wouldn't

if i had told you exactly who was gonna be here, you wouldn't have come, and i need you here,

was gonna be here, you wouldn't have come, and i need you here, because my sister is coming.

Have come, and i need you here, because my sister is coming. And she just got engaged, and

because my sister is coming. And she just got engaged, and she's younger than me.

And she just got engaged, and she's younger than me. Please.

She's younger than me. Please. It'll be quick and painless.

Please. It'll be quick and painless. I swear.

It'll be quick and painless. I swear. Just please stay.

I swear. Just please stay. Fine.

Just please stay. Fine. Thank you.

Fine. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Well, hello!

Thank you. Well, hello! Hi!

Well, hello! Hi! Rose, this is fred.

Hi! Rose, this is fred. We were just talking about you.

Rose, this is fred. We were just talking about you. Great to meet you.

We were just talking about you. Great to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.

Great to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. Well, let's celebrate.

Nice to meet you, too. Well, let's celebrate. Let's go have a birthday.

Well, let's celebrate. Let's go have a birthday. Thank you! Thank you!

Let's go have a birthday. Thank you! Thank you! All: ♪ birthday

thank you! Thank you! All: ♪ birthday

all: ♪ birthday

oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Be careful.

Be careful. Yeah!

Be careful. Yeah! Aww.

Yeah! Aww. Hey, fred, you cut the cake.

Aww. Hey, fred, you cut the cake. Uh, no. No, no, no.

Hey, fred, you cut the cake. Uh, no. No, no, no. Oh, please.

Uh, no. No, no, no. Oh, please. Come on.

Oh, please. Come on. Today, you're part of the

come on. Today, you're part of the family.

Today, you're part of the family. Someone's feeling very

family. Someone's feeling very generous.

Someone's feeling very generous. All right. Here we go.

Generous. All right. Here we go. Oh, shoot.

All right. Here we go. Oh, shoot. Oh, don't worry.

Oh, shoot. Oh, don't worry. Big family means big mess.

Oh, don't worry. Big family means big mess. Oh, yes.

Big family means big mess. Oh, yes. You should have seen the house

oh, yes. You should have seen the house she grew up in -- quel bordel!

You should have seen the house she grew up in -- quel bordel! A bordello.

She grew up in -- quel bordel! A bordello. Oh, no.

A bordello. Oh, no. No. No.

Oh, no. No. No. He means that it was a big mess.

No. No. He means that it was a big mess. She had, like, six siblings.

He means that it was a big mess. She had, like, six siblings. There was never a dull moment

she had, like, six siblings. There was never a dull moment or a quiet one.

There was never a dull moment or a quiet one. Well, i am an only child, so

or a quiet one. Well, i am an only child, so this is already a lot for me.

Well, i am an only child, so this is already a lot for me. Oh, you poor thing.

This is already a lot for me. Oh, you poor thing. Who did you play with?

Oh, you poor thing. Who did you play with? No, i had friends.

Who did you play with? No, i had friends. I mean, just no siblings.

No, i had friends. I mean, just no siblings. Oh, what was the matter with

i mean, just no siblings. Oh, what was the matter with your parents?

Oh, what was the matter with your parents? Uh, nothing.

Your parents? Uh, nothing. Uh, just, uh, you know, that's

uh, nothing. Uh, just, uh, you know, that's the way it worked out.

Uh, just, uh, you know, that's the way it worked out. Well, hopefully, you won't

the way it worked out. Well, hopefully, you won't make the same mistake when it's

well, hopefully, you won't make the same mistake when it's your turn.

Make the same mistake when it's your turn.

Your turn. So, it must be -- is it sort

so, it must be -- is it sort of strange to have one child so

so, it must be -- is it sort of strange to have one child so much younger than the others?

Of strange to have one child so much younger than the others? What do you mean?

Much younger than the others? What do you mean? Well, i mean, don't you

what do you mean? Well, i mean, don't you normally kind of want them all

well, i mean, don't you normally kind of want them all to be in the same age range so

normally kind of want them all to be in the same age range so they can have playmates?

To be in the same age range so they can have playmates? We don't love him less

they can have playmates? We don't love him less because he was unplanned.

We don't love him less because he was unplanned. Renault! Renault! Renault!

Because he was unplanned. Renault! Renault! Renault! There's no point in hiding!

Renault! Renault! Renault! There's no point in hiding! There's no point in hiding the

there's no point in hiding! There's no point in hiding the truth.

There's no point in hiding the truth. You guys were just trying for

truth. You guys were just trying for a boy.

You guys were just trying for a boy. If i had been a boy, alan

a boy. If i had been a boy, alan wouldn't exist.

If i had been a boy, alan wouldn't exist. Rose, that's not true.

Wouldn't exist. Rose, that's not true. Yes, it is.

Rose, that's not true. Yes, it is. Dad told me.

Yes, it is. Dad told me. Alan, don't listen to your

dad told me. Alan, don't listen to your sister.

Alan, don't listen to your sister. At least i'm not old.

Sister. At least i'm not old. I'm not old.

At least i'm not old. I'm not old. I'm engaged.

I'm not old. I'm engaged. It gets more and more

i'm engaged. It gets more and more beautiful every time i see it.

It gets more and more beautiful every time i see it. Dylan, he's the best, and we are

beautiful every time i see it. Dylan, he's the best, and we are very much in love.

Dylan, he's the best, and we are very much in love. How is dylan?

Very much in love. How is dylan? He finishes his mba next

how is dylan? He finishes his mba next year, and he already has two

he finishes his mba next year, and he already has two offers.

Year, and he already has two offers. Oh, i always liked dylan.

Offers. Oh, i always liked dylan. A real go-getter.

Oh, i always liked dylan.

A real go-getter. I just feel so fortunate to

i just feel so fortunate to have found the one sooner, you

i just feel so fortunate to have found the one sooner, you know, versus, like, five years

have found the one sooner, you know, versus, like, five years from now, when things would have

know, versus, like, five years from now, when things would have felt more -- you know, more

from now, when things would have felt more -- you know, more rushed and more pressing.

Felt more -- you know, more rushed and more pressing. So, uh, why isn't he here

rushed and more pressing. So, uh, why isn't he here with you now?

So, uh, why isn't he here with you now? He's at the golf course.

With you now? He's at the golf course. Hmm.

He's at the golf course. Hmm. Yeah.

Hmm. Yeah. I'm just saying that i feel

yeah. I'm just saying that i feel so fortunate to have found the

i'm just saying that i feel so fortunate to have found the one sooner rather than -- than

so fortunate to have found the one sooner rather than -- than later.

One sooner rather than -- than later.

Later. Oh, this must be my gift for

oh, this must be my gift for alan.

Oh, this must be my gift for alan. What is it?

Alan. What is it? You'll see.

What is it? You'll see. Hey.

You'll see. Hey. Hmm.

Hey. Hmm. You all right?

Hmm. You all right? I'm fine.

You all right? I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Oh!

Hey. Hey. Mindy. Hey. You okay?

Hey. You okay? There was just all that

hey. You okay? There was just all that twirling and spinning.

There was just all that twirling and spinning. Hey, did you, um...

twirling and spinning. Hey, did you, um... in the bathroom, you didn't...

hey, did you, um... in the bathroom, you didn't... did you throw up?

In the bathroom, you didn't... did you throw up? No.

Did you throw up? No. No?

No. No? I tried, but no.

No? I tried, but no. It's -- it's all in there.

I tried, but no. It's -- it's all in there. That's good. That's good.

It's -- it's all in there. That's good. That's good. That's a good sign.

That's good. That's good. That's a good sign. You're gonna be okay.

That's a good sign. You're gonna be okay. Okay.

You're gonna be okay. Okay. Rest a little bit right here,

okay. Rest a little bit right here, and i'm gonna run out, do some

rest a little bit right here, and i'm gonna run out, do some errands.

And i'm gonna run out, do some errands. You're coming back?

Errands. You're coming back? I'll be back.

You're coming back? I'll be back. Okay.

I'll be back. Okay. Okay. You're gonna be here?

Okay. Okay. You're gonna be here? I can't go anywhere.

Okay. You're gonna be here? I can't go anywhere. Okay.

I can't go anywhere. Okay. Fred, i'm really glad you

okay. Fred, i'm really glad you stayed with me today.

Fred, i'm really glad you stayed with me today. Yeah. Me, too.

Stayed with me today. Yeah. Me, too. All right.

Yeah. Me, too. All right. I'll be back.

Hey. I'm home.

Hey. I'm home. Hey. Where were you?

Hey. I'm home. Hey. Where were you? Shoes. Shoes.

Hey. Where were you? Shoes. Shoes. Hey. Oh, shit.

Shoes. Shoes. Hey. Oh, shit. Uh, just went to the gym.

Hey. Oh, shit. Uh, just went to the gym. Did you get my texts?

Uh, just went to the gym. Did you get my texts? Yes, i did.

Did you get my texts? Yes, i did. I did, but my phone has been

yes, i did. I did, but my phone has been acting funny, and they just all

i did, but my phone has been acting funny, and they just all kind of poured in all at once.

Acting funny, and they just all kind of poured in all at once. You never go to the gym in

kind of poured in all at once. You never go to the gym in the morning.

You never go to the gym in the morning. Yeah, well, you know, that's

the morning. Yeah, well, you know, that's why i wanted to, uh, change up

yeah, well, you know, that's why i wanted to, uh, change up my routine, shock my muscles in

why i wanted to, uh, change up my routine, shock my muscles in a different way, you know?

My routine, shock my muscles in a different way, you know? Well, i was bummed you

a different way, you know? Well, i was bummed you weren't here when i got back.

Well, i was bummed you weren't here when i got back. I know. I'm sorry.

Weren't here when i got back. I know. I'm sorry. I just -- i thought i could

i know. I'm sorry. I just -- i thought i could just, you know, grab a quickie

i just -- i thought i could just, you know, grab a quickie before -- workout before you got

just, you know, grab a quickie before -- workout before you got back, but i couldn't even

before -- workout before you got back, but i couldn't even remember what time you were

back, but i couldn't even remember what time you were getting back, so...

remember what time you were getting back, so... i e-mailed you my itinerary.

Getting back, so... i e-mailed you my itinerary. Oh, damn it. You did.

I e-mailed you my itinerary. Oh, damn it. You did. I'm sorry.

Oh, damn it. You did. I'm sorry. I should have just -- i should

i'm sorry. I should have just -- i should have checked that.

I should have just -- i should have checked that. Well, that's okay.

Have checked that. Well, that's okay. I missed you.

Well, that's okay. I missed you. Hey.

I missed you. Hey. Mmm, lip gloss.

Hey. Mmm, lip gloss. Oh. Mm.

Mmm, lip gloss. Oh. Mm. Mm.

Have you been eating chocolate? What? You smell like chocolate.

What? You smell like chocolate. Oh. Yes. I did.

You smell like chocolate. Oh. Yes. I did. I had a -- i had a chocolate

oh. Yes. I did. I had a -- i had a chocolate protein bar at the gym.

I had a -- i had a chocolate protein bar at the gym. You're supposed to work out

protein bar at the gym. You're supposed to work out on an empty stomach.

You're supposed to work out on an empty stomach. You know this.

On an empty stomach. You know this. I know. I know.

You know this. I know. I know. You tell me that every time.

I know. I know. You tell me that every time.

You tell me that every time. And i don't appreciate being

and i don't appreciate being ignored.

And i don't appreciate being ignored. What?

Ignored. What? I want my calls returned.

What? I want my calls returned. Oh, i'm sorry. I know.

I want my calls returned. Oh, i'm sorry. I know. My stupid phone.

Oh, i'm sorry. I know. My stupid phone. It's been --

my stupid phone. It's been -- because i have something

it's been -- because i have something important to talk to you about.

Because i have something important to talk to you about. O-okay.

Important to talk to you about. O-okay. I've done a lot of thinking

o-okay. I've done a lot of thinking about this, and i want to bring

i've done a lot of thinking about this, and i want to bring another member into our home.

Okay. Are you ser-- fred, we've been living

are you ser-- fred, we've been living together for two years.

Fred, we've been living together for two years. I think that it's time we took

together for two years. I think that it's time we took the next step.

I think that it's time we took the next step. Yeah. You're right.

The next step. Yeah. You're right. You're totally right.

Yeah. You're right. You're totally right. Two years is a -- is a -- is

you're totally right. Two years is a -- is a -- is a -- is a big, long, very long

two years is a -- is a -- is a -- is a big, long, very long time and a big commitment, but

a -- is a big, long, very long time and a big commitment, but i-i do think, though, you know,

time and a big commitment, but i-i do think, though, you know, you're talking about the next

i-i do think, though, you know, you're talking about the next next step, and i'm just a

you're talking about the next next step, and i'm just a little concerned...

next step, and i'm just a little concerned... i don't see what's the big

little concerned... i don't see what's the big deal about adopting.

I don't see what's the big deal about adopting. I...

deal about adopting. I... look at her.

I... look at her. She's so cute.

Look at her. She's so cute. That's -- that is fucking

she's so cute. That's -- that is fucking adorable.

That's -- that is fucking adorable. And it's much more economical

adorable. And it's much more economical and humane than buying from a

and it's much more economical and humane than buying from a kennel.

And humane than buying from a kennel. Why didn't you tell me it was

kennel. Why didn't you tell me it was a cat?

Why didn't you tell me it was a cat? I didn't know you...

a cat? I didn't know you... oh, my god.

I didn't know you... oh, my god. I did say it.

Oh, my god. I did say it. Didn't i say it was a cat?

I did say it. Didn't i say it was a cat? I'm allergic to cats.

Didn't i say it was a cat? I'm allergic to cats. Well, yeah, but when you took

i'm allergic to cats. Well, yeah, but when you took the claritin, it was totally

well, yeah, but when you took the claritin, it was totally fine.

The claritin, it was totally fine. My throat kind of stays

fine. My throat kind of stays pretty tight, but it's nothing.

My throat kind of stays pretty tight, but it's nothing. I can -- i can deal with it.

Pretty tight, but it's nothing. I can -- i can deal with it.

I can -- i can deal with it. Well, i'm glad we agree.

Well, i'm glad we agree. Yes.

Well, i'm glad we agree. Yes. Babe!

Yes. Babe! Yeah.

Babe! Yeah. That's awesome.

Yeah. That's awesome. Oh, shoot.

That's awesome. Oh, shoot. Wait a minute.

Oh, shoot. Wait a minute. We -- we can't -- we can't get a

wait a minute. We -- we can't -- we can't get a pet.

We -- we can't -- we can't get a pet. Why not?

Pet. Why not? Oh, my god.

Why not? Oh, my god. The -- the lease.

Oh, my god. The -- the lease. You remember, the landlord?

The -- the lease. You remember, the landlord? Well, you'll just have to

you remember, the landlord? Well, you'll just have to talk to him.

Well, you'll just have to talk to him. I think it is a legal

talk to him. I think it is a legal document that we signed -- the

i think it is a legal document that we signed -- the lease -- so...

document that we signed -- the lease -- so... or we'll move.

Lease -- so... or we'll move. We--

or we'll move. We-- move?

We-- move? To new jersey.

Move? To new jersey. I want to be closer to my

to new jersey. I want to be closer to my parents anyway.

I want to be closer to my parents anyway. That -- that -- that would

parents anyway. That -- that -- that would really mess up my commute.

That -- that -- that would really mess up my commute. I go to new jersey every day

really mess up my commute. I go to new jersey every day for work.

I go to new jersey every day for work. Yeah, but, sweetie, you work

for work. Yeah, but, sweetie, you work just over the river.

Yeah, but, sweetie, you work just over the river. I mean, it's practically

just over the river. I mean, it's practically 13th ave., right?

I mean, it's practically 13th ave., right? I mean, if we didn't have to

13th ave., right? I mean, if we didn't have to move, i think that maybe we

i mean, if we didn't have to move, i think that maybe we could, like, find a pet-friendly

move, i think that maybe we could, like, find a pet-friendly building in the city that's

could, like, find a pet-friendly building in the city that's close to the path train, as

building in the city that's close to the path train, as opposed to...

close to the path train, as opposed to... why are you being so

opposed to... why are you being so difficult?

Why are you being so difficult? No, i'm not trying to be

difficult? No, i'm not trying to be difficult here.

No, i'm not trying to be difficult here. I mean, we're just -- we're

difficult here. I mean, we're just -- we're talking.

I mean, we're just -- we're talking. You know, we're communicating.

Talking. You know, we're communicating. I really don't -- we're gonna

you know, we're communicating. I really don't -- we're gonna have to look at the lease again,

i really don't -- we're gonna have to look at the lease again, because the lease, i don't

have to look at the lease again, because the lease, i don't think, says all pets.

Because the lease, i don't think, says all pets. I think it says no pets above a

think, says all pets. I think it says no pets above a certain size and of a certain

i think it says no pets above a certain size and of a certain kind.

Certain size and of a certain kind.

Kind. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Are you sure?

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. I'm in --

are you sure? Yeah. I'm in -- i want you to want a pet,

yeah. I'm in -- i want you to want a pet, too.

I want you to want a pet, too. I want a pet.

Too. I want a pet. I want this pet.

I want a pet. I want this pet. Yeah.

I want this pet. Yeah. Oh, babe, i'm so excited.

Yeah. Oh, babe, i'm so excited. Yeah.

Oh, babe, i'm so excited. Yeah. I'm so glad that we agree.

Yeah. I'm so glad that we agree. Yeah.

I'm so glad that we agree. Yeah. Oh, you're the best.

You didn't take out the garbage. What?

Garbage. What? It's overflowing.

What? It's overflowing. Oh, yeah.

It's overflowing. Oh, yeah. Well, i'm gonna do it tonight.

Oh, yeah. Well, i'm gonna do it tonight. We agreed you would take out

well, i'm gonna do it tonight. We agreed you would take out the trash, remember?

We agreed you would take out the trash, remember? Hey, did you read my

the trash, remember? Hey, did you read my chapters?

Hey, babe? Can you do me a favor and fix me

hey, babe? Can you do me a favor and fix me a drink?

Can you do me a favor and fix me a drink? What do you want?

A drink? What do you want? Campari with a little soda.

What do you want? Campari with a little soda. Got it?

Campari with a little soda. Got it? I got it!

Hey, babe?

I'll run to the store. That's okay. We'll just have it delivered.

That's okay. We'll just have it delivered. No, no. It's cool.

We'll just have it delivered. No, no. It's cool. I got to get some groceries

no, no. It's cool. I got to get some groceries anyway, so it's no big deal.

I got to get some groceries anyway, so it's no big deal. Are you sure?

Anyway, so it's no big deal. Are you sure? Yeah. Absolutely.

Are you sure? Yeah. Absolutely. Well, don't be too long.

Yeah. Absolutely. Well, don't be too long.

Oh, fred! Hi. I'm back.

Oh, fred! Hi. I'm back. Oh, mindy went to meet you.

Hi. I'm back. Oh, mindy went to meet you. Min-mindy's not here?

Oh, mindy went to meet you. Min-mindy's not here? No. She left to meet you.

Min-mindy's not here? No. She left to meet you. Oh, i was supposed to meet

no. She left to meet you. Oh, i was supposed to meet her back here.

Oh, i was supposed to meet her back here. A little problem?

Her back here. A little problem? I -- do you know where mindy

a little problem? I -- do you know where mindy went?

I -- do you know where mindy went? Oh, she felt better, and she

went? Oh, she felt better, and she went to meet you.

Oh, she felt better, and she went to meet you. Oh, their signals got

went to meet you. Oh, their signals got crossed.

Oh, their signals got crossed. Okay, maybe...

crossed. Okay, maybe... i'll go back to her place.

Okay, maybe... i'll go back to her place. Maybe she went back to her

i'll go back to her place. Maybe she went back to her place?

Maybe she went back to her place? You just call her.

Place? You just call her. Yeah.

You just call her. Yeah. My phone is kind of on the

yeah. My phone is kind of on the fritz.

My phone is kind of on the fritz. Do you have her number by any

fritz. Do you have her number by any chance?

Do you have her number by any chance?

Chance?

Nothing!

Nothing! Come in. Call from here.

Nothing! Come in. Call from here.

Come in. Call from here. I have to go take care of the

i have to go take care of the mess in the kitchen.

I have to go take care of the mess in the kitchen. Just call her.

Mess in the kitchen. Just call her.

Just call her. Okay.

Okay. Ah, la femme.

Okay. Ah, la femme. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Ah, la femme. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Um, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. Um, okay. Could you do me a huge favor?

Um, okay. Could you do me a huge favor? Maybe just give me mindy's phone

could you do me a huge favor? Maybe just give me mindy's phone number one more time, 'cause --

maybe just give me mindy's phone number one more time, 'cause -- oh! Look at that.

Number one more time, 'cause -- oh! Look at that. Mindy's phone.

Oh! Look at that. Mindy's phone. You do me the favor.

Mindy's phone. You do me the favor. You go and take it back to her.

You do me the favor. You go and take it back to her. This is mindy's phone?

You go and take it back to her. This is mindy's phone? Yes, of course it's mindy's

this is mindy's phone? Yes, of course it's mindy's phone.

Yes, of course it's mindy's phone. What do you think?

Phone. What do you think? Well, you are so confused.

What do you think? Well, you are so confused. À bientôt.

Well, you are so confused. À bientôt.

Mindy!

Mindy!

Damn it.

Damn it.

Hmm.

Dada, dada.

Hey! Break it up. Hey! Why did you do that?

Hey! Break it up. Hey! Why did you do that?

Hey! Why did you do that? Guys.

Guys. No candy.

Guys. No candy. Mindy.

No candy. Mindy. Come on.

Mindy. Come on.

Fred! God, mindy.

Fred! God, mindy. What are you doing out here?

God, mindy. What are you doing out here?

What are you doing out here? I went to your parents' place.

I went to your parents' place. They didn't know where the hell

i went to your parents' place. They didn't know where the hell you went.

They didn't know where the hell you went. Oh, i told my sister to tell

you went. Oh, i told my sister to tell you to let yourself in with the

oh, i told my sister to tell you to let yourself in with the spare key.

You to let yourself in with the spare key. What?

Spare key. What? Yeah.

What? Yeah. Oh, god.

Yeah. Oh, god. You -- i mean, are you --

oh, god. You -- i mean, are you -- are you okay?

You -- i mean, are you -- are you okay? Are you feeling...

are you okay? Are you feeling... so much better.

Are you feeling... so much better. I hate belly dancers.

So much better. I hate belly dancers.

I hate belly dancers. Yeah? Everything's...?

Yeah? Everything's...? All good.

Yeah? Everything's...? All good. My mom's tea brought me back to

all good. My mom's tea brought me back to life.

My mom's tea brought me back to life. Good.

Life. Good. How are you?

Good. How are you? You look frazzled.

How are you? You look frazzled. I -- i feel a little...

you look frazzled. I -- i feel a little... i was just -- you know, i was

i -- i feel a little... i was just -- you know, i was worried about you.

I was just -- you know, i was worried about you. I could not find you, which was

worried about you. I could not find you, which was very, you know, nerve-racking.

I could not find you, which was very, you know, nerve-racking. But, uh, your phone...

very, you know, nerve-racking. But, uh, your phone... you found my phone!

But, uh, your phone... you found my phone! I keep losing my phone.

You found my phone! I keep losing my phone. Where did you find this?

I keep losing my phone. Where did you find this? It was at your parents'.

Where did you find this? It was at your parents'. I mean, i had no way to know

it was at your parents'. I mean, i had no way to know where you were.

I mean, i had no way to know where you were. You got to be more, you know,

where you were. You got to be more, you know, cautious.

You got to be more, you know, cautious. I mean, if i need to contact

cautious. I mean, if i need to contact you, or anyone needs to contact

i mean, if i need to contact you, or anyone needs to contact you.

You, or anyone needs to contact you. Well, i have been craving

you. Well, i have been craving chicken parm and angel hair with

well, i have been craving chicken parm and angel hair with pomodoro basilico.

Chicken parm and angel hair with pomodoro basilico.

Pomodoro basilico. Can you stay for dinner?

Can you stay for dinner? I would love to.

Can you stay for dinner? I would love to. I've never made this before.

I would love to. I've never made this before. All right.

In there? Mm-hmm.

In there? Mm-hmm. All right.

Mm-hmm. All right. I got it.

All right. I got it.

I got it. Try it.

Try it.

Try it. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Oh!

Hey. Oh!

Before we go on, cheers first. An eventful, amazing, slightly traumatic, wonderful day.

Hand me a match. Okay. Here you go. Wait a minute.

Okay. Here you go. Wait a minute. Not that match. Any other match.

Wait a minute. Not that match. Any other match.

Not that match. Any other match. Any other. Come on.

Any other. Come on. All right. See the match?

Any other. Come on. All right. See the match? Uh-huh.

All right. See the match? Uh-huh. All right?

Uh-huh. All right? All right.

All right? All right. Keep your eyes on the match.

All right. Keep your eyes on the match. Ready?

Keep your eyes on the match. Ready? 1, 2, 3.

Ready? 1, 2, 3. No!

1, 2, 3. No! Where did it go?

No! Where did it go? Where did it go? Ready?

Where did it go? Where did it go? Ready? 1, 2, 3.

Where did it go? Ready? 1, 2, 3. Whoa!

1, 2, 3. Whoa! I've got to say...

whoa! I've got to say... your family is inspiring.

I've got to say... your family is inspiring. Well, thank you, i think.

Your family is inspiring. Well, thank you, i think. Based on my travels with you

well, thank you, i think. Based on my travels with you today and my travails, i think,

based on my travels with you today and my travails, i think, i have enough material to plug a

today and my travails, i think, i have enough material to plug a lot of holes in my novel, so

i have enough material to plug a lot of holes in my novel, so thank you for that.

Lot of holes in my novel, so thank you for that. Well, i would love to take a

thank you for that. Well, i would love to take a look at it.

Well, i would love to take a look at it. When it's ready, of course.

Look at it. When it's ready, of course. That would be...

when it's ready, of course. That would be... that would, um...

that would be... that would, um... i mean, i-i-i do -- i have, you

that would, um... i mean, i-i-i do -- i have, you know, a few chapters done.

I mean, i-i-i do -- i have, you know, a few chapters done. I am kind of looking for a

know, a few chapters done. I am kind of looking for a female perspective.

I am kind of looking for a female perspective. Has anyone else looked at it?

Female perspective. Has anyone else looked at it? No.

Has anyone else looked at it? No. Well, i would love to be the

no. Well, i would love to be the first.

Oh, gosh. Should we use protection? What?

Should we use protection? What? Do you have a condom?

What? Do you have a condom? I'm on the pill.

Do you have a condom? I'm on the pill. Yeah, but, i mean,

i'm on the pill. Yeah, but, i mean, technically it's the

yeah, but, i mean, technically it's the morning-after pill, right?

Technically it's the morning-after pill, right? There's a difference?

Morning-after pill, right? There's a difference? I'm not completely sure, but

there's a difference? I'm not completely sure, but i just -- i think i should put

i'm not completely sure, but i just -- i think i should put on a condom.

I just -- i think i should put on a condom. I mean, don't you think i should

on a condom. I mean, don't you think i should put on a condom?

I mean, don't you think i should put on a condom? Do you want to put on a

put on a condom? Do you want to put on a condom?

Do you want to put on a condom? Are you okay if i put on a

condom? Are you okay if i put on a condom?

Are you okay if i put on a condom? I'm on the pill.

Condom? I'm on the pill. I know, but it's not really

i'm on the pill. I know, but it's not really the pill, i think.

I know, but it's not really the pill, i think. I'm not even sure.

The pill, i think. I'm not even sure. I mean, does it work the same

i'm not even sure. I mean, does it work the same way?

I mean, does it work the same way? Just put on a condom, baby.

Way? Just put on a condom, baby. Okay. Good call.

Just put on a condom, baby. Okay. Good call. They've priced it at 8 buc,

okay. Good call. They've priced it at 8 buc, and not just for everybody.

They've priced it at 8 buc, and not just for everybody. They have palpable patent

and not just for everybody. They have palpable patent problems with their biggest

they have palpable patent problems with their biggest drug coming up in two years,

problems with their biggest drug coming up in two years, so for me it's a sell until

drug coming up in two years, so for me it's a sell until they can turn that ship around.

Hmm.

Hey. Hey. Who's nelly?

Hey. Who's nelly? I saw her name in your phone.

Who's nelly? I saw her name in your phone. You looked in my phone?

I saw her name in your phone. You looked in my phone? It was lying on the

you looked in my phone? It was lying on the dining-room table, and i saw it

it was lying on the dining-room table, and i saw it ring with the name "nelly."

Dining-room table, and i saw it ring with the name "nelly." Oh. It's just an old friend.

Ring with the name "nelly." Oh. It's just an old friend. Just an old friend?

Oh. It's just an old friend. Just an old friend? Yeah. Yeah, from college.

Just an old friend? Yeah. Yeah, from college. Did you date her?

Yeah. Yeah, from college. Did you date her? Yeah. Yeah, briefly.

Did you date her? Yeah. Yeah, briefly. Why is she calling you?

Yeah. Yeah, briefly. Why is she calling you? 'Cause we're still friends.

Why is she calling you? 'Cause we're still friends. I don't believe you.

'Cause we're still friends.

I don't believe you. Just a girl i used to date.

Just a girl i used to date. Okay, i'm gonna ask you

just a girl i used to date. Okay, i'm gonna ask you again, and i want you to be

okay, i'm gonna ask you again, and i want you to be honest with me.

Again, and i want you to be honest with me. Who is nelly?

Honest with me. Who is nelly? I told you.

Who is nelly? I told you. It's a girl i used to date

i told you. It's a girl i used to date during college, and then for a

it's a girl i used to date during college, and then for a little after.

During college, and then for a little after. Why is she calling and

little after. Why is she calling and texting you all day?

Why is she calling and texting you all day? Did you go through my phone?

Texting you all day? Did you go through my phone? You have a girlfriend.

Did you go through my phone? You have a girlfriend. You lied to me.

You have a girlfriend. You lied to me. Uh...

you lied to me. Uh... hey, hey.

Uh... hey, hey. "Work emergen--

hey, hey. "Work emergen-- hey.

"Work emergen-- hey. ...cy."

Hey. ...cy." I've already read it.

...cy." I've already read it. "Going to be a few hours."

I've already read it. "Going to be a few hours." "I love you, too, now get back

"going to be a few hours." "I love you, too, now get back here so you can start dinner."

"I love you, too, now get back here so you can start dinner." You liwith her!

Here so you can start dinner." You liwith her! I --

you liwith her! I -- you're cheating on your

i -- you're cheating on your girlfriend, and i thought we

you're cheating on your girlfriend, and i thought we were beginning something.

Girlfriend, and i thought we were beginning something. We -- we are. Okay?

Were beginning something. We -- we are. Okay?

We -- we are. Okay? Nelly and i -- we are in a

nelly and i -- we are in a dying relationship.

Nelly and i -- we are in a dying relationship. Really?

Dying relationship. Really? It's dead.

Really? It's dead. Am i supposed to believe

it's dead. Am i supposed to believe that?

Am i supposed to believe that? It's -- yes.

That? It's -- yes. You are -- because it's true,

it's -- yes. You are -- because it's true, and i'm telling you the truth.

You are -- because it's true, and i'm telling you the truth. So, you're planning on

and i'm telling you the truth. So, you're planning on leaving her?

So, you're planning on leaving her? It doesn't sound like she thinks

leaving her? It doesn't sound like she thinks that.

It doesn't sound like she thinks that. Listen, hey, hey, hey, hey.

That. Listen, hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen to me.

Listen, hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen to me. Lis-- i mean, the reason i'm

listen to me. Lis-- i mean, the reason i'm here with you obviously is

lis-- i mean, the reason i'm here with you obviously is because i do not want to be with

here with you obviously is because i do not want to be with her.

Because i do not want to be with her. Then end it with her.

Her. Then end it with her. I'm planning on it.

Then end it with her. I'm planning on it. When?

I'm planning on it. When? I mean, it's complicated, you

when? I mean, it's complicated, you know?

I mean, it's complicated, you know? But very, very soon.

Know? But very, very soon. How about now?

But very, very soon. How about now? Uh, now or you mean now?

How about now? Uh, now or you mean now? If you want to be with me,

uh, now or you mean now? If you want to be with me, then call her and end it with

if you want to be with me, then call her and end it with her now.

Then call her and end it with her now. R-right now?

Her now. R-right now? Right now.

R-right now? Right now. I --

right now. I -- can you -- i'm not gonna c--

i -- can you -- i'm not gonna c-- just be -- i'm sorry.

Can you -- i'm not gonna c-- just be -- i'm sorry. Be reasonable for a second,

just be -- i'm sorry. Be reasonable for a second, okay?

Be reasonable for a second, okay? Be -- i mean, i can't actually

okay? Be -- i mean, i can't actually call her and end it over the

be -- i mean, i can't actually call her and end it over the phone.

Call her and end it over the phone. That's... uh, i mean, i need some

phone. That's... uh, i mean, i need some time.

That's... uh, i mean, i need some time. Okay, yeah.

Time. Okay, yeah. You're -- no, you're right.

Okay, yeah. You're -- no, you're right. You're right.

You're -- no, you're right. You're right. You're totally right.

You're right. You're totally right. I'm... i'm gonna go there tonight

you're totally right. I'm... i'm gonna go there tonight right now.

I'm... i'm gonna go there tonight right now. I'm gonna talk to her, and i'm

right now. I'm gonna talk to her, and i'm gonna tell her that it's over.

I'm gonna talk to her, and i'm gonna tell her that it's over. Ahh!

Gonna tell her that it's over. Ahh! It feels good.

Ahh! It feels good. Will you call me and tell me

it feels good. Will you call me and tell me after?

Will you call me and tell me after? Yes, i will.

After? Yes, i will. I don't believe you.

Yes, i will. I don't believe you. I promise you i will.

I don't believe you. I promise you i will.

I promise you i will. I promise, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Oh.

Oh. Actually, um...

oh. Actually, um... one more thing before i go.

Actually, um... one more thing before i go. Can we um... take the second

one more thing before i go. Can we um... take the second pill?

Can we um... take the second pill? What?

Pill? What? The, um, pharmacist told me

what? The, um, pharmacist told me that you have to take the second

the, um, pharmacist told me that you have to take the second pill 12 hours after you take the

that you have to take the second pill 12 hours after you take the first dose, so it's, um -- it's

pill 12 hours after you take the first dose, so it's, um -- it's been 12 hours, and, uh, here's

first dose, so it's, um -- it's been 12 hours, and, uh, here's the second pill, so...

did you... stay with me this whole day so i would take the second pill?

Whole day so i would take the second pill? What?

Second pill? What? No. That's crazy. I didn't --

what? No. That's crazy. I didn't -- then why didn't you tell me

no. That's crazy. I didn't -- then why didn't you tell me about this pill?

Then why didn't you tell me about this pill? I didn't because it, uh, y--

about this pill? I didn't because it, uh, y-- uh, slipped my mind.

I didn't because it, uh, y-- uh, slipped my mind. I -- i mean, i-i've -- every

uh, slipped my mind. I -- i mean, i-i've -- every time i tried to talk to you

i -- i mean, i-i've -- every time i tried to talk to you about the pill back at the

time i tried to talk to you about the pill back at the diner, you got pissed off,

about the pill back at the diner, you got pissed off, remember?

Diner, you got pissed off, remember? So i held off, and then

remember? So i held off, and then everything happened with your

so i held off, and then everything happened with your roommate and your parents and --

everything happened with your roommate and your parents and -- fred, you're a liar!

Roommate and your parents and -- fred, you're a liar! You are a liar!

Fred, you're a liar! You are a liar! You lied to me, and you used me!

You are a liar! You lied to me, and you used me! What? No!

You lied to me, and you used me! What? No! The second i take this pill,

what? No! The second i take this pill, you're just gonna forget all

the second i take this pill, you're just gonna forget all about me.

You're just gonna forget all about me. No, n-- come on.

About me. No, n-- come on. You're twisting everything

no, n-- come on. You're twisting everything around right now, and you're

you're twisting everything around right now, and you're putting words into my mouth.

Around right now, and you're putting words into my mouth. Just be honest with me!

Putting words into my mouth. Just be honest with me! I am being honest with you.

Just be honest with me! I am being honest with you. Tell the truth for once!

I am being honest with you. Tell the truth for once! Admit what you were gonna do!

Tell the truth for once! Admit what you were gonna do! I didn't know you, and i

admit what you were gonna do! I didn't know you, and i didn't trust you 100 %, okay?

I didn't know you, and i didn't trust you 100 %, okay? There, i said it.

Didn't trust you 100 %, okay? There, i said it. I was afraid to become a dad,

there, i said it. I was afraid to become a dad, and i didn't know you, but now i

i was afraid to become a dad, and i didn't know you, but now i do, and i do trust you.

And i didn't know you, but now i do, and i do trust you. And you know what?

Do, and i do trust you. And you know what? I'm glad that i didn't trust you

and you know what? I'm glad that i didn't trust you because if i did, i wouldn't

i'm glad that i didn't trust you because if i did, i wouldn't have stuck around and we

because if i did, i wouldn't have stuck around and we wouldn't have had this wonderful

have stuck around and we wouldn't have had this wonderful day together, and i wouldn't

wouldn't have had this wonderful day together, and i wouldn't have gotten to know you.

Day together, and i wouldn't have gotten to know you. Get out.

Have gotten to know you. Get out. Come on.

Get out. Come on. Get out!

Come on. Get out! Listen. Listen to me.

Get out! Listen. Listen to me. Get out!

Listen. Listen to me. Get out! It became more, okay?

Get out! It became more, okay? If i could go back and do it all

it became more, okay? If i could go back and do it all again, i would.

If i could go back and do it all again, i would. Would you?

Again, i would. Would you? Would you do it again?

Look... i-i really -- i want to talk about this.

Look... i-i really -- i want to talk about this. I'm -- it's just not the best

to talk about this. I'm -- it's just not the best time.

I'm -- it's just not the best time. This is not the best time?!

Time. This is not the best time?! There is no other time!

This is not the best time?! There is no other time! Just please, please just take

there is no other time! Just please, please just take the second pill, and then we can

just please, please just take the second pill, and then we can talk about our situation after

the second pill, and then we can talk about our situation after you've taken it.

Talk about our situation after you've taken it. You're not gonna leave her,

you've taken it. You're not gonna leave her, are you?

You're not gonna leave her, are you?

Are you?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Get the fuck out.

I'm sorry. Get the fuck out.

Get the fuck out.

You're late. Hey. I'm sorry.

Hey. I'm sorry. Shoes! Shoes!

Shoes! Shoes! Oh, shit. Sorry.

Shoes! Shoes! Oh, shit. Sorry. Ahh.

Oh, shit. Sorry. Ahh. Had to make sure the boards were

ahh. Had to make sure the boards were ready at the office, so...

had to make sure the boards were ready at the office, so... thought you were running

ready at the office, so... thought you were running errands?

Thought you were running errands? Errands?

Errands? Errands? That's what you texted me.

Errands? That's what you texted me. Oh, yeah. Work errands.

That's what you texted me. Oh, yeah. Work errands. Whatever.

Oh, yeah. Work errands. Whatever. Food's getting cold.

Whatever. Food's getting cold. Put the flowers in water.

Food's getting cold. Put the flowers in water. Thanks to surgery at the

put the flowers in water. Thanks to surgery at the hospital for sick children,

thanks to surgery at the hospital for sick children, tracy hooper was given the

hospital for sick children, tracy hooper was given the liver of a 9-year-old accident

tracy hooper was given the liver of a 9-year-old accident victim in a four-hour

liver of a 9-year-old accident victim in a four-hour operation.

Victim in a four-hour operation. Hooper is in critical but

operation. Hooper is in critical but stable condition, normal after

hooper is in critical but stable condition, normal after such an operation.

Stable condition, normal after such an operation. Her condition...

you want to play a game? What, honey? A drinking game.

What, honey? A drinking game. You want to play a drinking

a drinking game. You want to play a drinking game?

You want to play a drinking game? Yeah. Why not?

Game? Yeah. Why not? You ever played, um... "i never"?

Yeah. Why not? You ever played, um... "i never"? What made you think of that?

You ever played, um... "i never"? What made you think of that? I just... i don't know.

What made you think of that? I just... i don't know. I thought it could be fun.

I just... i don't know. I thought it could be fun. I don't want to get drunk.

I thought it could be fun. I don't want to get drunk. All right.

I am so excited about this cat.

Cat. Yes. Me, too.

Yes. Me, too. What should we name her?

Yes. Me, too. What should we name her? I don't know.

What should we name her? I don't know. What about maud, after my

i don't know. What about maud, after my mother?

What about maud, after my mother? Yeah.

Mother? Yeah. Yeah, maud's a nice name.

You think you can talk to the super about it tomorrow? Yeah. Yeah, i said i would.

Super about it tomorrow? Yeah. Yeah, i said i would. Well, don't forget.

Yeah. Yeah, i said i would. Well, don't forget. I won't.

Well, don't forget. I won't. Mmm.

I won't. Mmm. Uh...

mmm. Uh... mmm.

Uh... mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Hey, actual-- babe.

Mmm. Hey, actual-- babe. What?

Hey, actual-- babe. What? Oh, man.

What? Oh, man. I am just so wiped out.

Oh, man. I am just so wiped out.

I am just so wiped out. I don't know if i can...

i don't know if i can... aw.

I don't know if i can... aw. I'm kind of in the mood.

Aw. I'm kind of in the mood. Yeah.

I'm kind of in the mood. Yeah. How about we, um...

yeah. How about we, um... let's play in the morning, huh?

How about we, um... let's play in the morning, huh? I can't persuade you?

Let's play in the morning, huh? I can't persuade you? You...

i can't persuade you? You... get yourself hard, and i'll hop

you... get yourself hard, and i'll hop on.

Get yourself hard, and i'll hop on. What?

On. What? I'll take over once you're

what? I'll take over once you're ready.

There were nine condoms in here before i left. Now there's eight.

Before i left. Now there's eight. Why is one missing, fred?

Now there's eight. Why is one missing, fred?

Why is one missing, fred? How should i know?

How should i know? Did you use one when i was

how should i know? Did you use one when i was away?

Did you use one when i was away? Maybe you counted them wrong.

Away? Maybe you counted them wrong. I've been counting condoms

maybe you counted them wrong. I've been counting condoms for years, and i've never made

i've been counting condoms for years, and i've never made an error.

For years, and i've never made an error. Who the fuck counts condoms?

An error. Who the fuck counts condoms? Why is there a condom

who the fuck counts condoms? Why is there a condom missing?

Why is there a condom missing? Why?

Missing? Why? Why? Because i had sex.

Why? Why? Because i had sex. That's why.

Why? Because i had sex. That's why. You're lying.

That's why. You're lying. No, i'm not, but, ironically,

you're lying. No, i'm not, but, ironically, i didn't end up using the damn

no, i'm not, but, ironically, i didn't end up using the damn condom, so...

i didn't end up using the damn condom, so... you had unprotected sex with

condom, so... you had unprotected sex with another woman?

You had unprotected sex with another woman? Yes.

Another woman? Yes.

Yes. Why are you even telling me

why are you even telling me this?

Why are you even telling me this? Okay, look, nelly.

This? Okay, look, nelly. It -- it's -- it's not working

okay, look, nelly. It -- it's -- it's not working between us.

It -- it's -- it's not working between us. Where is this coming from?

Between us. Where is this coming from? Nelly, you don't love me.

Where is this coming from? Nelly, you don't love me. What?

Nelly, you don't love me. What? You've never, ever really

what? You've never, ever really loved me.

You've never, ever really loved me. You haven't.

Loved me. You haven't. You treat me like i'm your

you haven't. You treat me like i'm your personal assistant.

You treat me like i'm your personal assistant. I mean, you do not respect me.

Personal assistant. I mean, you do not respect me. You are a control

i mean, you do not respect me. You are a control freak, and then this whole --

you are a control freak, and then this whole -- this, us, it's just --

freak, and then this whole -- this, us, it's just -- i've done everything to make

this, us, it's just -- i've done everything to make a home for us.

I've done everything to make a home for us. I pay 2/3 of the rent.

A home for us. I pay 2/3 of the rent. I pay for the housekeeper.

I pay 2/3 of the rent. I pay for the housekeeper. I pay for most of the food.

I pay for the housekeeper. I pay for most of the food. I don't care if you pay for

i pay for most of the food. I don't care if you pay for the food, if you pay for the

i don't care if you pay for the food, if you pay for the housekeeper, if you pay for the

the food, if you pay for the housekeeper, if you pay for the rent, okay?

Housekeeper, if you pay for the rent, okay? I do not want to be in a

rent, okay? I do not want to be in a functional relationship where

i do not want to be in a functional relationship where it's merely convenient for you

functional relationship where it's merely convenient for you to "hop on."

It's merely convenient for you to "hop on." You are a mean, horrible,

to "hop on." You are a mean, horrible, immature son of a bitch!

You are a mean, horrible, immature son of a bitch! Where are you going?

Immature son of a bitch! Where are you going? I should have done this a

where are you going? I should have done this a long time ago, but i just -- i

i should have done this a long time ago, but i just -- i didn't have the courage.

Long time ago, but i just -- i didn't have the courage. Well... where are you gonna

didn't have the courage. Well... where are you gonna sleep tonight?

You are just like the character in your novel -- a

you are just like the character in your novel -- a selfish, uncaring asshole.

Character in your novel -- a selfish, uncaring asshole. You read the chapters?

Selfish, uncaring asshole. You read the chapters? Yes, i did.

You read the chapters? Yes, i did. And they suck.

Yes, i did. And they suck. The characters suck, the story

and they suck. The characters suck, the story sucks, and you'll never, ever

the characters suck, the story sucks, and you'll never, ever get published because you suck.

Sucks, and you'll never, ever get published because you suck. And only now, when i am

get published because you suck. And only now, when i am leaving you, can you actually

and only now, when i am leaving you, can you actually talk about something that's

leaving you, can you actually talk about something that's important to me.

Talk about something that's important to me. Geez.

Important to me. Geez. I was trying not to hurt your

geez. I was trying not to hurt your feelings.

I was trying not to hurt your feelings.

Feelings. You know, i wanted you to hurt

you know, i wanted you to hurt my feelings, okay?

You know, i wanted you to hurt my feelings, okay? And be brutally honest with me

my feelings, okay? And be brutally honest with me and give me some perspective.

And be brutally honest with me and give me some perspective. You want perspective?

And give me some perspective. You want perspective? How about this?

You want perspective? How about this? I fucked someone on my trip.

How about this? I fucked someone on my trip. He's a banker, and he lives in

i fucked someone on my trip. He's a banker, and he lives in rye, and he's rich and handsome

he's a banker, and he lives in rye, and he's rich and handsome and almost divorced, and we're

rye, and he's rich and handsome and almost divorced, and we're going out on friday.

And almost divorced, and we're going out on friday. Honestly, nelly...

going out on friday. Honestly, nelly... i don't care.

Honestly, nelly... i don't care.

I don't care.

Hey, mindy. Geez. I can't believe that i finally

geez. I can't believe that i finally ran into you.

I can't believe that i finally ran into you.

Ran into you. It's crazy.

It's crazy. I mean, i just saw you from

it's crazy. I mean, i just saw you from across the street, and i'm

i mean, i just saw you from across the street, and i'm just -- i'm really glad i got to

across the street, and i'm just -- i'm really glad i got to see you again.

Just -- i'm really glad i got to see you again. What do you want?

See you again. What do you want? I -- jesus, i just --

what do you want? I -- jesus, i just -- i wanted to say hi.

I -- jesus, i just -- i wanted to say hi. Hi.

I wanted to say hi. Hi. And bye.

Hi. And bye. Hey. Hey, look.

And bye. Hey. Hey, look. I just --

hey. Hey, look. I just -- i've been doing a lot of

i just -- i've been doing a lot of thinking about you and -- and

i've been doing a lot of thinking about you and -- and doing a lot of work, and the

thinking about you and -- and doing a lot of work, and the amazing thing --

doing a lot of work, and the amazing thing -- look, fred, i am in a really

amazing thing -- look, fred, i am in a really different place in my life right

look, fred, i am in a really different place in my life right now.

Different place in my life right now. Look, i just -- i finished my

now. Look, i just -- i finished my novel.

Look, i just -- i finished my novel. Okay, let me take you up on your

novel. Okay, let me take you up on your offer if it still stands.

Okay, let me take you up on your offer if it still stands. You really hurt me.

Offer if it still stands. You really hurt me. I know.

You really hurt me. I know. I wish that i could just make it

i know. I wish that i could just make it up to you somehow.

I wish that i could just make it up to you somehow. I don't know if that's

up to you somehow. I don't know if that's possible.

I don't know if that's possible. Okay.

Possible. Okay. Okay, that's fair. Yeah.

Okay. Okay, that's fair. Yeah. That's totally fair, but...

okay, that's fair. Yeah. That's totally fair, but... can i still get your number?

That's totally fair, but... can i still get your number? Why?

Can i still get your number? Why? So that i can call you and

why? So that i can call you and try to get you to like me again.

So that i can call you and try to get you to like me again. Give me your phone.

You can text me.

♪ I'm over here, and i am a-wastin' time ♪

a-wastin' time ♪ ♪ the thought of a happy future

♪ the thought of a happy future had nearly crossed my mind ♪

had nearly crossed my mind ♪ ♪ but in the dark in the corner

♪ but in the dark in the corner of a store, yeah, i am naked ♪

of a store, yeah, i am naked ♪ ♪ terrorized by this lack of

♪ terrorized by this lack of spark ♪

spark ♪ ♪ wanted so much more

♪ wanted so much more ♪ i've been dated, and love

♪ i've been dated, and love is such a curious thing ♪

is such a curious thing ♪ ♪ there's the kind you know the

♪ there's the kind you know the blue ♪

blue ♪ ♪ it's cut into that diamond

♪ it's cut into that diamond ring ♪

ring ♪ ♪ i'm feeling fine

♪ i'm feeling fine ♪ about your sweet sorrow

♪ about your sweet sorrow ♪ i'm ready for the very next

♪ i'm ready for the very next girl in line ♪

girl in line ♪ ♪ and i don't want to dance

♪ and i don't want to dance ♪ in your tomorrow

♪ in your tomorrow ♪ i'm just a victim of my

♪ i'm just a victim of my circumstance ♪

circumstance ♪ ♪ i'm over here

♪ i'm over here ♪ i am a-wastin' time

♪ i am a-wastin' time ♪ paralyzed by this lack of

♪ paralyzed by this lack of trust, and you're always

trust, and you're always wanting mine ♪

wanting mine ♪ ♪ but trust is what i want

♪ but trust is what i want ♪ it's what i'm all about

♪ it's what i'm all about ♪ what i'm saying

♪ what i'm saying ♪ yeah, now with the day so dear

♪ yeah, now with the day so dear i am drenched in doubt ♪

i am drenched in doubt ♪ ♪ so i'm praying, and love

♪ so i'm praying, and love is such a curious thing ♪

is such a curious thing ♪ ♪ there's the kind you know the

♪ there's the kind you know the blue ♪

blue ♪ ♪ it's cut into that diamond

♪ it's cut into that diamond ring ♪

ring ♪