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1
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,429
I hope the
supermarket isn't closed.
2
00:00:13,392 --> 00:00:15,520
I sent your father for
two more ingredients...
3
00:00:15,504 --> 00:00:18,167
so I could finish
this before dinner.
4
00:00:18,127 --> 00:00:21,120
Boy, Mom, you sure
have a lot of recipes here.
5
00:00:21,391 --> 00:00:23,053
Caesar salad...
6
00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:28,162
beef stroganoff, Napoleon
brandy, bloody mary.
7
00:00:29,198 --> 00:00:30,393
Yes, Eddie.
8
00:00:30,414 --> 00:00:34,374
And at one time or another,
they were all friends of the family.
9
00:00:36,205 --> 00:00:40,301
Now this recipe was invented by
one of Grandpa's favorite people.
10
00:00:40,845 --> 00:00:42,541
No foolin'?
11
00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:44,635
What's Mom making, Grandpa?
12
00:00:44,909 --> 00:00:46,571
Devil's food cake.
13
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,103
I wish Herman would get back.
14
00:00:56,076 --> 00:00:59,376
But it's such a lovely day
and he insisted on walking.
15
00:01:17,769 --> 00:01:20,295
Come on, let's have
a little action here.
16
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:37,368
Now look what I've done.
17
00:01:50,822 --> 00:01:53,519
Dear! I've
disfigured him for life.
18
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:56,561
You poor man. I'll
go get an ambulance.
19
00:02:11,075 --> 00:02:12,270
Madam?
20
00:02:13,828 --> 00:02:14,852
Madam.
21
00:02:14,883 --> 00:02:17,079
I am terribly sorry about...
22
00:02:17,795 --> 00:02:18,922
Madam?
23
00:02:18,946 --> 00:02:20,175
Madam?
24
00:02:22,658 --> 00:02:24,854
I'll bet she went
for the police.
25
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:28,725
Before I get in
any more trouble...
26
00:02:28,738 --> 00:02:30,916
I better go right home and
phone my insurance company...
27
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,375
like a good citizen.
28
00:02:39,297 --> 00:02:41,163
Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk.
29
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:45,857
You're the cause of all
this, you dumb old signpost.
30
00:03:59,352 --> 00:04:02,811
Herman, you've
hardly eaten a thing.
31
00:04:02,744 --> 00:04:04,975
I'm still worried
about that accident.
32
00:04:04,952 --> 00:04:08,389
I think you should have let me
report it to our insurance company.
33
00:04:08,312 --> 00:04:11,009
Do you really think it was
your fault, Uncle Herman?
34
00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:12,458
Sure it was my fault.
35
00:04:12,791 --> 00:04:16,193
Technically, I was walking
across the street against the light...
36
00:04:16,406 --> 00:04:19,467
I should have looked both ways
before stepping off the curb...
37
00:04:19,415 --> 00:04:23,580
I shouldn't have stopped in the middle
of the street, and I ruined the lady's car.
38
00:04:23,478 --> 00:04:26,414
Technically, I'm guilty
on four different counts.
39
00:04:26,357 --> 00:04:29,816
Cheer up, Pop. Mom made
some neat devil's food cake.
40
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:35,414
Yes. And, Grandpa, you cut it
first so we can see how it turned out.
41
00:04:51,347 --> 00:04:54,977
Herman Munster,
1313 Mockingbird Lane.
42
00:04:56,626 --> 00:04:58,666
You say you found this at
the scene of the accident?
43
00:04:58,610 --> 00:05:01,205
That's right, Wilbur. It
was lying in the street.
44
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,230
But the man I hit
had disappeared.
45
00:05:03,218 --> 00:05:05,016
He must have gone
berserk or something...
46
00:05:05,009 --> 00:05:08,878
because the traffic lights had
been ripped right out of the ground.
47
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:11,847
Marge, we don't know what kind
of a screwball we're dealing with.
48
00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:15,252
A hothead like this could turn around
and sue us for everything we've got.
49
00:05:15,185 --> 00:05:17,677
Claim mental damage
on top of everything else.
50
00:05:17,648 --> 00:05:21,608
I'm afraid you're right, Wilbur. A
court would probably award him...
51
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,490
$20,000 on just what
I did to his face alone.
52
00:05:24,911 --> 00:05:26,709
Calm down, dear.
53
00:05:26,704 --> 00:05:29,697
I'll have our lawyer, Ted Thatcher,
head this Munster off. Offer him...
54
00:05:29,647 --> 00:05:31,411
$10,000 to keep him
from going to court.
55
00:05:31,407 --> 00:05:32,932
I just hope he goes for it.
56
00:05:32,942 --> 00:05:36,936
Listen, Marge, he can't be any more
of a stubborn weirdo than your mother.
57
00:05:37,006 --> 00:05:39,840
We got her to move
to Alaska for $8,000.
58
00:05:42,222 --> 00:05:44,623
11:00 a.m. Mail's here.
59
00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:49,590
Just don't announce the mail,
stupid. What did you do with it?
60
00:05:52,845 --> 00:05:56,373
Silly bird. When is he going to
stop picking that mailman's bag?
61
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:58,849
Nevermore.
62
00:06:12,235 --> 00:06:14,363
"Mr. Herman Munster.
63
00:06:15,402 --> 00:06:18,395
"Dear sir, as attorney
for Mrs. Wilbur Kingsley...
64
00:06:18,346 --> 00:06:21,680
"I am writing on her behalf
regarding the recent traffic accident...
65
00:06:21,610 --> 00:06:23,841
"in which you and
she were involved.
66
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,132
"To prevent serious court
action and damages...
67
00:06:27,113 --> 00:06:30,481
"I strongly urge immediate
cash settlement in the amount of...
68
00:06:31,337 --> 00:06:34,171
"In the amount of $10,000."
69
00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:37,746
How much? Wow! $10,000.
70
00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:49,594
Oh, no, Lily. That woman must
have traced the accident to me...
71
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:53,674
and now her lawyer wants me to
pay her $10,000. What will I do?
72
00:06:57,702 --> 00:06:59,295
Herman, stop that.
73
00:06:59,302 --> 00:07:02,795
How do expect me to think
when you're making all that noise?
74
00:07:02,725 --> 00:07:06,628
Where will I get
$10,000? This is terrible!
75
00:07:07,589 --> 00:07:09,683
If I had a gun,
I'd shoot myself.
76
00:07:30,402 --> 00:07:32,496
Wilbur, I'm really
getting worried.
77
00:07:32,482 --> 00:07:34,041
Our lawyer offered
those Munsters...
78
00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:36,576
a $10,000 settlement
three days ago.
79
00:07:36,578 --> 00:07:38,410
They haven't even
answered his letter.
80
00:07:38,402 --> 00:07:40,530
I know, dear. I talked
to Thatcher this morning.
81
00:07:40,513 --> 00:07:42,625
He's going to make a
personal visit to these people...
82
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,030
and try and size
up the situation.
83
00:07:44,034 --> 00:07:45,332
Do you think he'll get anywhere?
84
00:07:45,346 --> 00:07:48,373
Listen, Thatcher settled
longshoremen's strikes, dispossessed...
85
00:07:48,321 --> 00:07:51,553
widows and orphans, and appeared
before Senate investigating committees.
86
00:07:51,489 --> 00:07:53,321
After frightening
experiences like that...
87
00:07:53,312 --> 00:07:56,874
he's not going to be bothered by a
plain, average family like the Munsters.
88
00:07:58,816 --> 00:08:00,785
That's a good boy, Eddie.
89
00:08:00,927 --> 00:08:04,295
You polish Spotty's scales so
you can see your face in them.
90
00:08:05,023 --> 00:08:06,355
Okay, Mom.
91
00:08:07,263 --> 00:08:09,755
Spot likes that.
Don't you, Spot?
92
00:08:15,838 --> 00:08:18,171
Mom, today is Saturday.
93
00:08:18,334 --> 00:08:20,462
How come Pop had
to go to work today?
94
00:08:21,181 --> 00:08:24,174
Mr. Gateman is thinking of
adding a new wing on to the parlor...
95
00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:25,991
to take care of the overflow.
96
00:08:25,981 --> 00:08:29,679
And your father went over to talk
to the builder to get an estimate.
97
00:08:29,789 --> 00:08:33,954
That is one business where you
cannot keep your customers waiting.
98
00:08:37,948 --> 00:08:42,283
I think there's someone at the door.
Eddie, would you answer it, please?
99
00:08:42,492 --> 00:08:44,051
Okay, Mom.
100
00:08:53,594 --> 00:08:57,588
Yes? Hello, little boy. I think.
101
00:08:57,786 --> 00:08:59,778
I am Theodore
Thatcher, an attorney.
102
00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:01,671
I am investigating
an accident case...
103
00:09:01,657 --> 00:09:03,922
involving a Mr. Herman Munster.
104
00:09:03,897 --> 00:09:07,299
Yes. He's my pop. Won't
you come in? Thank you.
105
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:14,282
You dressed up for a
school play or something?
106
00:09:14,232 --> 00:09:16,531
Heck, no. This
is my regular suit.
107
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,411
It's the only one I've got.
108
00:09:20,151 --> 00:09:22,484
Come right this way. Thank you.
109
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:32,731
Sit right here. Thank you.
110
00:09:38,902 --> 00:09:41,235
Sorry, that
happens all the time.
111
00:09:42,517 --> 00:09:44,577
Mom.
112
00:09:57,044 --> 00:10:01,675
Mr. Thatcher? I'm Lily Munster.
113
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:05,511
Pardon my appearance,
but I've been fixing supper.
114
00:10:05,459 --> 00:10:06,984
That's quite all right.
115
00:10:06,995 --> 00:10:11,194
We're having a curried lizard casserole,
and you know what a mess that can be.
116
00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:13,321
You are forced to eat lizard?
117
00:10:13,554 --> 00:10:16,023
It was either that or
pickled frogs' ears...
118
00:10:15,986 --> 00:10:18,217
and my husband
insisted on lizard.
119
00:10:18,866 --> 00:10:20,926
Sit down, won't you? Thank you.
120
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:28,158
My son said that you're
investigating Mr. Munster's accident.
121
00:10:28,048 --> 00:10:29,880
This is just an informal visit.
122
00:10:29,872 --> 00:10:33,673
Is your husband at home? I've been looking
forward to meeting him face to face.
123
00:10:33,584 --> 00:10:38,022
I'm terribly sorry, but he is down
at the mortuary getting an estimate.
124
00:10:40,144 --> 00:10:43,114
Getting an estimate
at the mortuary? Yes.
125
00:10:43,439 --> 00:10:47,342
It's always wise to be
prepared for any eventuality.
126
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:53,959
I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't
know you had company.
127
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:58,172
This gentleman is
investigating Herman's accident.
128
00:10:58,094 --> 00:11:00,427
Mr. Thatcher, my father.
129
00:11:00,749 --> 00:11:02,843
How do you do?
By the way, sir...
130
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:06,322
did you and your son-in-law
discuss the letter I sent him last week?
131
00:11:06,253 --> 00:11:07,721
We certainly did.
132
00:11:07,725 --> 00:11:11,787
And what was his reaction to
our settlement figure of $10,000?
133
00:11:11,692 --> 00:11:13,456
Not a chance, buster.
134
00:11:13,836 --> 00:11:18,570
He's right, sir. An amount like
that is absolutely out of the question.
135
00:11:18,827 --> 00:11:22,127
If you'll excuse me now, I'm on
my way down to the basement.
136
00:11:22,411 --> 00:11:25,279
Grandpa, what do
you have in the bag?
137
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,752
Just some moldy bread
I got out of the kitchen.
138
00:11:27,722 --> 00:11:31,022
I'm going down to the lab and
whip up a batch of penicillin.
139
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,121
He makes his own penicillin?
140
00:11:35,370 --> 00:11:38,499
Yes. You never know,
in a family like this...
141
00:11:38,441 --> 00:11:41,707
when somebody is liable to
come down with a sore throat.
142
00:11:42,473 --> 00:11:46,638
Mrs. Munster, I think I've
found out all I need to know.
143
00:11:46,537 --> 00:11:50,633
By the way, before I go, could I
use your telephone to call my client?
144
00:11:50,536 --> 00:11:53,301
Why, of course. It's
right out here in the hall.
145
00:11:53,256 --> 00:11:54,451
Thank you.
146
00:12:05,031 --> 00:12:06,522
There you are.
147
00:12:06,791 --> 00:12:09,090
And would you mind
letting yourself out?
148
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,622
I really must get back
to my lizard casserole.
149
00:12:25,508 --> 00:12:27,909
Hello, Wilbur? This is Ted.
150
00:12:28,517 --> 00:12:32,284
This house looks like Tobacco
Road. You should see this family.
151
00:12:32,388 --> 00:12:34,983
The kid only has
one suit to his name.
152
00:12:34,947 --> 00:12:37,610
And all they can
afford to eat is lizard.
153
00:12:38,211 --> 00:12:40,612
The grandfather
makes his own penicillin.
154
00:12:41,187 --> 00:12:43,588
Look, if this bunch
ever shows up in court...
155
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:46,719
they'll break a jury's
heart for at least $100,000.
156
00:12:46,659 --> 00:12:51,063
Now, I think we ought to double
our original settlement offer.
157
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:56,497
This Munster character must be
hurt much worse than we thought...
158
00:12:56,417 --> 00:12:59,876
because he's down at the
mortuary now, getting an estimate.
159
00:13:01,057 --> 00:13:02,719
He's so sure
he's going to die...
160
00:13:02,721 --> 00:13:05,520
he has his coffin
set up in the hallway.
161
00:13:06,113 --> 00:13:10,141
What? Sure, I'm sure. Where
do you think I'm telephoning from?
162
00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:13,721
Wait a minute. What is this?
163
00:13:22,303 --> 00:13:26,104
There you are, Marilyn. I was catching
a little bat nap down in the lab...
164
00:13:26,015 --> 00:13:28,644
and I must have
slept for three hours.
165
00:13:29,374 --> 00:13:30,774
Where is everybody?
166
00:13:30,814 --> 00:13:33,875
Grandpa, that telegram
came from the lawyer...
167
00:13:33,821 --> 00:13:35,517
and Aunt Lily was so upset...
168
00:13:35,518 --> 00:13:37,749
that she stormed right out.
169
00:13:37,725 --> 00:13:41,287
Telegram? "Please
ignore previous letter.
170
00:13:41,597 --> 00:13:44,863
"In behalf of my client,
recent accident case...
171
00:13:44,797 --> 00:13:48,825
"now raising settlement
figure to $20,000!"
172
00:13:49,148 --> 00:13:51,743
$20,000? Why, 10 was bad enough.
173
00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:55,577
I know. And Aunt Lily said we
couldn't possibly raise that much.
174
00:13:55,899 --> 00:13:58,095
She went over to see the
lady that hit Uncle Herman...
175
00:13:58,075 --> 00:13:59,509
and throw herself on her mercy.
176
00:13:59,515 --> 00:14:01,074
She's been gone over an hour.
177
00:14:01,082 --> 00:14:05,417
Oh, boy. And where is
the poor innocent victim?
178
00:14:05,306 --> 00:14:07,571
Uncle Herman came
home a few minutes ago.
179
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,277
He took one look
at that telegram...
180
00:14:09,274 --> 00:14:11,436
the green completely
drained out of his face...
181
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:14,149
he ran up to his room
and hid in the closet.
182
00:14:15,961 --> 00:14:18,795
Problems, problems, problems.
183
00:14:18,841 --> 00:14:21,436
Sometimes I wish I was
back in the old country...
184
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:25,337
where my biggest worry was who to put
the bite on for three square meals a day.
185
00:14:27,704 --> 00:14:30,765
Mrs. Munster, I'm so
glad you came to see me.
186
00:14:30,712 --> 00:14:33,978
It's obvious, it's been a
terrible misunderstanding.
187
00:14:34,168 --> 00:14:36,637
Misunderstanding? Why, yes.
188
00:14:36,599 --> 00:14:40,695
We were offering to pay you a
settlement, not the other way around.
189
00:14:41,879 --> 00:14:44,439
Pay us? Yes, of course.
190
00:14:44,631 --> 00:14:47,567
When I realized I'd
injured the poor man...
191
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:50,344
we were afraid he'd sue
us for everything we own.
192
00:14:50,742 --> 00:14:55,476
Mrs. Kingsley, you have
no idea what a relief this is.
193
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:59,901
You pay us? Then you'll
accept a settlement?
194
00:15:00,085 --> 00:15:02,486
I certainly will.
195
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:08,869
Would $1.75 to get my husband's
suit cleaned be asking too much?
196
00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:11,431
Not at all.
197
00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:14,851
There you are.
198
00:15:17,139 --> 00:15:21,770
Herman. It's me. I
have good news for you.
199
00:15:23,794 --> 00:15:26,320
Grandpa, it's locked. Do
you suppose he's in there?
200
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:28,156
Lily, allow me.
201
00:15:37,361 --> 00:15:39,353
Grandpa, he's gone. What?
202
00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:40,938
Look.
203
00:15:42,065 --> 00:15:44,432
I think he's run away. Run away?
204
00:15:45,328 --> 00:15:47,593
Look, there's a note. A note?
205
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,080
What's it say?
206
00:15:51,631 --> 00:15:55,693
"Goodbye forever, I can
never raise $20,000...
207
00:15:55,599 --> 00:16:00,560
"so I am doing the noble thing by
running away like a rotten coward.
208
00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:06,468
"P.S. If someday my miserable bones
are washed up on a desert island...
209
00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:11,566
"do not bother to claim them as they
will not be worth the parcel post charges."
210
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,765
Signed, "Herman
Munster, Rat Fink."
211
00:16:15,981 --> 00:16:19,042
Grandpa, he's run away.
And it's all a mistake.
212
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,272
Where, oh, where
could my poopsie be?
213
00:16:46,410 --> 00:16:47,434
Hi.
214
00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:50,046
New man? Yes, sir.
215
00:16:50,378 --> 00:16:52,279
You look rugged enough.
216
00:16:52,425 --> 00:16:55,418
Can you lift one of those steel
ingots there? They weigh 300 pounds.
217
00:16:55,369 --> 00:16:57,133
I can lift them all.
218
00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:11,601
That's amazing. Okay,
you can put them down now.
219
00:17:15,655 --> 00:17:19,319
Get out of here. Now, beat
it. Go on, get out of here.
220
00:17:19,398 --> 00:17:21,230
But, sir... Get lost.
221
00:17:21,414 --> 00:17:23,713
Go on, get out of here. But...
222
00:17:35,748 --> 00:17:39,742
Everybody plays. It's over
here, folks. Try your luck.
223
00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:42,747
Hit the clown.
Three balls. 25 cents.
224
00:17:42,692 --> 00:17:45,662
Everybody plays. It's
right over here, folks.
225
00:17:45,603 --> 00:17:47,629
Now you can't do anything...
226
00:17:47,972 --> 00:17:49,133
Step up and try your luck.
227
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:50,987
Hit the clown, you win a prize.
228
00:17:50,979 --> 00:17:53,005
I see you got
yourself a new clown?
229
00:17:52,995 --> 00:17:56,762
Yeah. This one's the
wildest looking yet.
230
00:17:57,442 --> 00:18:01,846
When he walked in here wearing that
crazy makeup I hired him on the spot.
231
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,774
Give it to him good.
232
00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:44,030
Grandpa, we've got
to locate Herman.
233
00:18:44,509 --> 00:18:47,240
What's wrong with
that crystal ball anyway?
234
00:18:47,197 --> 00:18:48,961
I don't know. All I
keep picking up...
235
00:18:48,957 --> 00:18:51,552
are the reruns of Molly
Goldberg from Tel Aviv.
236
00:18:52,221 --> 00:18:54,747
Adjust the fine-tuning
or something.
237
00:18:57,596 --> 00:19:01,158
Look, it's Herman.
Look. There he is.
238
00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:05,700
Look, Grandpa. He's gone
and joined the Foreign Legion.
239
00:19:05,627 --> 00:19:07,960
Wait, don't worry. We'll
track Herman down...
240
00:19:07,931 --> 00:19:11,368
with my super-heterodyne,
transistorized divining rod.
241
00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:15,225
Grandpa, Herman could
be anywhere in this world.
242
00:19:15,163 --> 00:19:19,123
Lily, please. Wait till I
adjust the direction finder.
243
00:19:20,634 --> 00:19:21,795
There.
244
00:19:21,850 --> 00:19:25,617
Did you set it at Foreign
Legion? No, I set it for knothead.
245
00:19:25,529 --> 00:19:28,897
That should lead us to my stupid
son-in-law like a guided missile.
246
00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:33,260
Marilyn, Mom and Grandpa
have been gone for two days now...
247
00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:34,836
trying to track down Pop.
248
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,706
They haven't
brought him home yet.
249
00:19:36,696 --> 00:19:40,224
Now, don't you worry, Eddie.
I'm sure that wherever he is...
250
00:19:40,152 --> 00:19:42,747
he's just as safe and sound
as if he were in his own home.
251
00:19:44,056 --> 00:19:45,319
Halt!
252
00:19:45,687 --> 00:19:47,087
Left face.
253
00:19:48,215 --> 00:19:49,740
Forward march.
254
00:19:50,871 --> 00:19:51,998
Halt!
255
00:19:52,599 --> 00:19:53,999
About face.
256
00:19:55,575 --> 00:19:57,043
Parade rest.
257
00:20:04,533 --> 00:20:09,028
"As a traitor to the French Foreign
Legion for dereliction of duty...
258
00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:13,570
"and cowardice under fire, the
prisoner is hereby sentenced to death...
259
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:17,355
"before a firing squad of
his former comrades in arms."
260
00:20:29,011 --> 00:20:31,105
A last cigarette, monsieur?
261
00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:34,493
Yes, actually, I
would. Thank you.
262
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,214
If you have one with a
charcoal micronite filter.
263
00:20:45,521 --> 00:20:47,149
??
264
00:20:49,201 --> 00:20:51,363
Detail. Attention!
265
00:20:52,176 --> 00:20:54,543
Hup, two. Hup, two.
266
00:20:54,512 --> 00:20:56,413
Hup, two. Hup, two.
267
00:20:56,817 --> 00:20:57,978
Ready.
268
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:00,979
Aim.
269
00:21:04,047 --> 00:21:05,515
Stop!
270
00:21:06,383 --> 00:21:07,749
Stop, I say.
271
00:21:09,454 --> 00:21:12,515
"'Shoot, if you must,
this square, green head
272
00:21:12,463 --> 00:21:15,297
"'but you'll have to
kill me first, ' she said."
273
00:21:16,462 --> 00:21:20,194
Landlubbers, down with those
pawn shop, second-hand...
274
00:21:21,902 --> 00:21:23,302
Cut! Cut!
275
00:21:24,525 --> 00:21:26,391
Lady, how did you get in here?
276
00:21:26,381 --> 00:21:30,011
And who's the moth-eaten, old
corpse in the white tie and tails?
277
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:33,819
That moth-eaten, old corpse
happens to be my father.
278
00:21:34,572 --> 00:21:38,839
And this noble soldier
of France is my husband.
279
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:42,294
This noble soldier of France also
happens to be out of the picture.
280
00:21:44,715 --> 00:21:47,810
I haven't had this much trouble
since I worked with Liz and Dick.
281
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:53,102
Okay, Beau Geste, we're
going to take you home now.
282
00:21:53,035 --> 00:21:57,666
Yes, Herman. I found out that
no one is suing you for $20,000.
283
00:21:57,898 --> 00:22:00,367
Your terrible ordeal is over.
284
00:22:01,865 --> 00:22:04,266
Come on, Herman. What
are you standing there for?
285
00:22:04,233 --> 00:22:05,394
Just a minute, dear...
286
00:22:05,417 --> 00:22:07,648
there are a few good
drags left in this cigarette.
287
00:22:10,505 --> 00:22:12,406
Come on, Herman.
288
00:22:20,231 --> 00:22:24,134
So, you see, Herman, when
that woman hit you with her car...
289
00:22:24,039 --> 00:22:26,531
she thought she disfigured you.
290
00:22:26,503 --> 00:22:27,994
Well, I just don't
understand it.
291
00:22:28,007 --> 00:22:30,704
It was the same handsome
face I've had all my life.
292
00:22:31,302 --> 00:22:35,899
It's like I always say, you should
never leave the house without shaving.
293
00:22:36,358 --> 00:22:39,760
Pop, after you ran away,
how many jobs did you have...
294
00:22:39,685 --> 00:22:42,348
before you got that part
acting in that desert picture?
295
00:22:42,309 --> 00:22:44,710
Let's see, there was one
I had in the steel mill...
296
00:22:44,677 --> 00:22:46,509
and then there was the circus...
297
00:22:46,501 --> 00:22:50,063
and, oh, yeah, then I had one as a
night watchman in the county morgue.
298
00:22:51,045 --> 00:22:53,310
Did you run into anyone we know?
299
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,066
No, in fact, the job
didn't work out well at all.
300
00:22:56,036 --> 00:22:59,939
Every time I'd take a short nap,
someone would put me in the icebox.
301
00:23:00,484 --> 00:23:02,953
Uncle Herman, the main
thing is that you're home now...
302
00:23:02,916 --> 00:23:05,351
and we don't want you
to ever run away again.
303
00:23:05,315 --> 00:23:07,875
And, poopsie, poopsie...
304
00:23:07,843 --> 00:23:10,312
to remind you of
your little adventure...
305
00:23:10,275 --> 00:23:12,676
and to promote family harmony...
306
00:23:12,802 --> 00:23:15,067
look what I got for you.
307
00:23:20,769 --> 00:23:22,237
I'll be darned.
308
00:23:24,193 --> 00:23:26,424
Thank you very much, dear.
309
00:23:26,945 --> 00:23:29,312
But how is this going to
promote family harmony?
310
00:23:29,281 --> 00:23:32,342
Well, dear, we're going to
put it in the upstairs hallway.
311
00:23:32,288 --> 00:23:36,521
For a house with only one
bathroom, it's practically a necessity.
312
00:23:36,571 --> 00:23:41,121
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