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1
00:00:01,666 --> 00:00:03,931
I have summoned
you all here tonight...
2
00:00:03,906 --> 00:00:07,968
on the stroke of midnight
for this annual Munster ritual.
3
00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:12,856
A ceremony which has been a
tradition in our family for over 100 years.
4
00:00:12,964 --> 00:00:14,956
This is a very solemn occasion.
5
00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,976
And it's all going to be decided
in the democratic manner.
6
00:00:17,926 --> 00:00:20,521
The fair, decent,
honest American way.
7
00:00:20,807 --> 00:00:23,072
Now, I want you
all to remember...
8
00:00:23,687 --> 00:00:25,315
no hard feelings.
9
00:00:26,664 --> 00:00:30,499
Whatever the results, we're
gonna abide with them...
10
00:00:30,409 --> 00:00:33,402
with good humor
and sportsmanship.
11
00:00:45,517 --> 00:00:48,976
One vote that we spend
our vacation at the beach.
12
00:00:50,062 --> 00:00:51,894
Another vote for the beach.
13
00:00:54,799 --> 00:00:56,597
Another vote for the beach.
14
00:01:01,809 --> 00:01:04,108
And another vote for the beach.
15
00:01:05,746 --> 00:01:08,011
There's still one
more, Uncle Herman.
16
00:01:08,338 --> 00:01:10,864
I'm not going to
read it. And why not?
17
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,062
Because it's my vote...
18
00:01:14,292 --> 00:01:16,557
and I voted to go
to Buffalo Valley.
19
00:01:17,269 --> 00:01:20,831
And if I can't go to Buffalo
Valley, I don't want to go anywhere.
20
00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:24,719
And another thing,
I demand a recount.
21
00:01:25,111 --> 00:01:27,740
Because I say that
this election was fixed.
22
00:01:28,119 --> 00:01:31,886
It's just not fair, and it's nothing
but a case of crooked politics.
23
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,565
I've been robbed.
24
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:40,066
Well...
25
00:01:41,242 --> 00:01:44,804
now that our annual
democratic election is over with...
26
00:01:45,404 --> 00:01:48,738
I hope we all enjoy
Buffalo Valley.
27
00:01:51,805 --> 00:01:55,606
I'm sure we're all going
to enjoy it, as usual.
28
00:01:57,503 --> 00:02:00,371
I'm afraid I'm not going to be
able to make it, Uncle Herman.
29
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,221
I have tests at school...
30
00:02:02,208 --> 00:02:05,178
and besides, everyone
knows that Buffalo Valley...
31
00:02:05,121 --> 00:02:07,647
is definitely no
place to meet boys.
32
00:02:08,033 --> 00:02:12,994
Perhaps your dear uncle is hoping
you'll meet some rich, handsome buffalo.
33
00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:21,508
Here we are, Mom. Number 10.
34
00:03:22,644 --> 00:03:23,839
Herman...
35
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:28,691
do you mean you just got an
upper and a lower for the four of us?
36
00:03:28,629 --> 00:03:32,259
That's right, dear. You see,
that way I got the excursion rate.
37
00:03:32,663 --> 00:03:34,495
For goodness sakes.
38
00:03:35,288 --> 00:03:37,519
We'll simply have to double up.
39
00:03:37,496 --> 00:03:39,556
You and Grandpa
can have the upper.
40
00:03:41,112 --> 00:03:43,343
But, Lily... No arguments.
41
00:03:43,322 --> 00:03:46,850
Do you want to spoil this
miserable trip before it's begun?
42
00:03:47,098 --> 00:03:50,193
Now, Eddie, you run
along and get ready for bed.
43
00:03:50,139 --> 00:03:52,233
Don't forget to
brush your fangs.
44
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:12,999
Will it be all right with
you if I go first? Certainly.
45
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,680
Will you be a little
careful, Herman?
46
00:04:43,977 --> 00:04:45,377
I'm sorry.
47
00:04:55,019 --> 00:04:56,282
Darn!
48
00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:04,759
I guess I'll just have
to jump up there.
49
00:05:15,824 --> 00:05:18,384
Grandpa, help! Help!
50
00:05:19,217 --> 00:05:20,344
Oh, boy.
51
00:05:22,706 --> 00:05:25,767
Grandpa, quick, we're
coming to a tunnel!
52
00:05:27,251 --> 00:05:29,277
Hold still a minute.
53
00:05:30,677 --> 00:05:34,011
Okay, Herman, now. Think small.
54
00:05:42,871 --> 00:05:46,103
Thank you, Grandpa.
Don't mention it.
55
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,515
You know, Herman...
56
00:05:49,530 --> 00:05:52,193
I wonder if I should have
stopped off at the freight yards...
57
00:05:52,154 --> 00:05:55,488
and bought a livestock permit
before we boarded the train.
58
00:05:55,483 --> 00:05:57,315
Why do you wonder that?
59
00:05:57,339 --> 00:06:00,571
Because I've never traveled
with a jackass before.
60
00:06:10,431 --> 00:06:14,300
Now, let me see. I've
forgotten which one it is.
61
00:06:15,552 --> 00:06:18,454
"The two men looked
up in quivering horror."
62
00:06:18,592 --> 00:06:20,493
It's along here somewhere.
63
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,677
"Suddenly from
behind the curtain...
64
00:06:22,658 --> 00:06:26,220
"appeared the ghostlike figure
of the dear dead Lady Madeline...
65
00:06:26,147 --> 00:06:29,549
"still wearing the shroud,
in which she'd been buried."
66
00:06:30,404 --> 00:06:32,066
I think this is it.
67
00:06:41,894 --> 00:06:44,056
Whoops, wrong berth.
68
00:06:44,903 --> 00:06:48,863
Poor man must have suddenly
realized he'd passed his station.
69
00:06:52,969 --> 00:06:54,870
Herman, will you settle down?
70
00:06:58,443 --> 00:07:01,311
You almost killed me
getting undressed in here.
71
00:07:01,259 --> 00:07:03,194
Knock it off, Grandpa.
72
00:07:04,268 --> 00:07:07,534
And will you get your foot
out of the pocket of my nightie?
73
00:07:09,197 --> 00:07:12,793
Boy, the last time I tried to
sleep in a place this small...
74
00:07:12,719 --> 00:07:15,188
some guy shoveled
dirt in my face.
75
00:07:20,528 --> 00:07:24,966
Herman, what's the matter
now? I need a drink of water.
76
00:07:44,374 --> 00:07:45,899
Shuckie!
77
00:07:46,647 --> 00:07:49,515
No water. I'm dying of thirst.
78
00:07:50,327 --> 00:07:54,196
If I knew who used up the water,
I'd kill them, that's what I'd do.
79
00:07:54,105 --> 00:07:57,234
I'd kill them. I'd kill
them. I'd kill them.
80
00:07:57,178 --> 00:07:59,272
I'd kill them. I'd kill them.
81
00:08:03,835 --> 00:08:06,236
I'd kill them! I'd kill them!
82
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:21,261
Herman, what's going
on? I don't know, dear.
83
00:08:21,184 --> 00:08:24,552
I didn't realize that many people
were nervous about riding on trains.
84
00:08:36,612 --> 00:08:39,514
It was real neat, Mom, while we
were getting dressed this morning...
85
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:42,862
somebody folded up
all the beds. Yes, dear.
86
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,518
But why did they bring
our breakfast in here...
87
00:08:46,502 --> 00:08:50,405
instead of letting us go to
the dining car? I don't know.
88
00:08:50,439 --> 00:08:53,136
They said something
about all the passengers...
89
00:08:53,095 --> 00:08:54,654
getting together last night...
90
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:58,226
and insisting that we have
this car all to ourselves.
91
00:08:58,729 --> 00:09:01,790
I must say, it was very
considerate of them.
92
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:07,174
Please, dear, I'm trying to read this
fascinating historical data to my son.
93
00:09:07,692 --> 00:09:09,456
"On the way to Buffalo Valley...
94
00:09:09,452 --> 00:09:12,945
"our streamliner carries us
through miles of barren desert...
95
00:09:12,877 --> 00:09:15,745
"the heart of the
Owagi Indian Country."
96
00:09:15,693 --> 00:09:19,494
"Although civilization continues
to infringe on this territory...
97
00:09:19,406 --> 00:09:21,568
"legend has it,
there still may be...
98
00:09:21,550 --> 00:09:24,679
"one or two lost Indian
tribes living in the desert."
99
00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:28,158
My, isn't this interesting?
100
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,097
Sure, Pop, if you say so.
101
00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:38,778
"Anthropologists tell us the
sociological implications...
102
00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:42,769
"of various artifacts found in
this region are far-reaching."
103
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:45,474
What do you think
of that, Eddie?
104
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,673
Train must be stopping
for mail or something.
105
00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,850
Might as well get off and get a
magazine while we're waiting.
106
00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:23,443
No newsstand here. I guess
it must be around the back.
107
00:10:32,129 --> 00:10:34,860
That's funny, there's no
newsstand here, either.
108
00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:40,569
I guess I'll just have to
sit down and read my...
109
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,541
fascinating travel booklet.
110
00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:53,431
"The warm desert sun...
111
00:10:54,182 --> 00:10:57,641
"coupled with the vast
expanse of wasteland...
112
00:10:57,895 --> 00:11:00,387
"made this area one
of unending monotony...
113
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:02,624
"for the early
prospectors and settlers.
114
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,760
"They were often lulled
into a hypnotic trance...
115
00:11:06,729 --> 00:11:09,563
"which no sight or
sound could penetrate."
116
00:11:33,872 --> 00:11:34,931
Lily.
117
00:11:35,409 --> 00:11:36,409
Lily.
118
00:11:54,070 --> 00:11:56,539
Darn!
119
00:11:57,366 --> 00:12:01,269
The minute a fellow's back is turned,
that sneaky old train disappears.
120
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,061
I think that's pretty
inconsiderate, don't you?
121
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,721
All right, don't answer
me, you old sorehead.
122
00:12:11,225 --> 00:12:13,456
I'll bet you used
to give sour milk.
123
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,161
"Village, 6 miles."
124
00:12:21,276 --> 00:12:24,007
Well, I guess I
better head for it.
125
00:12:24,605 --> 00:12:27,575
That's what they always used
to do on Death Valley Days.
126
00:12:52,548 --> 00:12:55,177
White man speak
with forked tongue.
127
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:58,049
Warriors attack wagon train.
128
00:12:58,469 --> 00:13:00,461
Bring back many scalp.
129
00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:03,310
Ah...
130
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:11,754
Look, I told you
20 times, Manikoo.
131
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,101
I can't do those cornball lines.
132
00:13:14,697 --> 00:13:17,326
I feel like a schnook
beating that crummy drum.
133
00:13:17,322 --> 00:13:20,724
Look, Wonga, I don't
dig the bit, either...
134
00:13:20,651 --> 00:13:22,916
but it's what the
tourists expect.
135
00:13:22,892 --> 00:13:26,124
We don't put on a good show, they're
not gonna come down here weekends...
136
00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:28,461
to spend their big heap
wampum. But, Manny, we've been...
137
00:13:28,429 --> 00:13:29,988
Let's face it, man...
138
00:13:29,997 --> 00:13:33,627
the whole tribe's going broke
with this kooky Indian village gig.
139
00:13:33,902 --> 00:13:37,600
We ain't even making the profit we used
to on the tomahawks and the blankets.
140
00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:40,646
Yeah, the Japanese
wholesaler raised the price.
141
00:13:40,816 --> 00:13:44,446
I know. The only answer
is to pep up the show.
142
00:13:44,593 --> 00:13:48,086
Knock out the rain-dance number
and put back the wagon train finish.
143
00:13:48,018 --> 00:13:49,247
Let's go.
144
00:13:49,266 --> 00:13:50,859
Powatuma speaks.
145
00:13:51,571 --> 00:13:55,099
Our tribe came here
many moons ago.
146
00:13:55,796 --> 00:13:58,925
We hunt buffalo,
we plant corn...
147
00:13:59,669 --> 00:14:01,297
we prosper.
148
00:14:01,718 --> 00:14:04,347
Yeah, Chief, that
was a long time ago.
149
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:07,974
The only thing we've got going
for us now is tourists and Medicare.
150
00:14:08,791 --> 00:14:13,058
Ancient legend says,
prosperity returns to tribe...
151
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:18,178
when Mighty Spirit
Wanitoba returns from desert.
152
00:14:18,329 --> 00:14:21,822
Guy Chief, that
legend's 200 years old.
153
00:14:22,074 --> 00:14:25,374
You don't really think there ever
was a Mighty Spirit Wanitoba?
154
00:14:25,339 --> 00:14:29,242
My great-grandfather
saw Spirit in vision.
155
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:33,614
Carve face on totem pole.
156
00:14:37,982 --> 00:14:41,680
One day, great
God of Wanitoba...
157
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,007
will return from desert.
158
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,628
Grandpa, I'm so worried.
159
00:14:55,843 --> 00:14:58,779
You mean to say you and the
conductor searched the whole train...
160
00:14:58,724 --> 00:15:01,023
and Herman is not
on board? That's right.
161
00:15:00,996 --> 00:15:03,158
But I just found
another conductor...
162
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:06,304
who said he saw someone
answering Herman's description...
163
00:15:06,246 --> 00:15:08,442
get off at Indian Flats.
164
00:15:08,678 --> 00:15:12,581
But that was two hours ago.
Why didn't he say something then?
165
00:15:12,487 --> 00:15:16,754
He said he just got up enough
courage to come out of the broom closet.
166
00:15:17,385 --> 00:15:19,251
I wonder what he meant by that.
167
00:15:19,241 --> 00:15:23,201
Anyway, we'll get to
Buffalo Valley in 10 minutes.
168
00:15:23,114 --> 00:15:25,447
We'll just get the next
train back to Indian Flats...
169
00:15:25,419 --> 00:15:27,650
and we'll start
looking for him there.
170
00:15:27,755 --> 00:15:31,317
Grandpa, what are we gonna
do if Pop's disappeared for good...
171
00:15:31,244 --> 00:15:32,940
and we never find him at all?
172
00:15:32,941 --> 00:15:34,466
What are we gonna do?
173
00:15:34,732 --> 00:15:37,065
We'll just send in
his return trip ticket...
174
00:15:37,038 --> 00:15:40,065
for a cash refund, that's
what we're gonna do.
175
00:15:59,315 --> 00:16:03,082
Must be one of those lost
Indian tribes I was reading about.
176
00:16:03,828 --> 00:16:05,990
Just hope it's not a mirage.
177
00:16:21,017 --> 00:16:22,713
I guess nobody's home.
178
00:16:23,961 --> 00:16:25,987
Wonder if this
place is deserted.
179
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:37,759
Holy mackerel. There,
Wonga, what is it?
180
00:16:39,485 --> 00:16:40,953
You got me, Manny.
181
00:16:41,341 --> 00:16:45,506
But he's a dead ringer for
the top man on the totem pole.
182
00:16:45,886 --> 00:16:47,548
Legend come true.
183
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:52,650
Mighty Spirit
Wanitoba, return to tribe.
184
00:17:02,627 --> 00:17:04,960
Ancient prophecy fulfilled.
185
00:17:05,828 --> 00:17:10,596
We greet Wanitoba as
the morning greets the sun.
186
00:17:15,462 --> 00:17:16,462
Huh.
187
00:17:23,144 --> 00:17:27,548
Lily, here's where Herman
got off, and there goes our train.
188
00:17:29,514 --> 00:17:31,107
What do we do now?
189
00:17:31,882 --> 00:17:34,408
Eddie! Here I am, Mom.
190
00:17:39,149 --> 00:17:40,879
"Village, 6 miles."
191
00:17:41,165 --> 00:17:43,964
Do you think he could
have started out for there?
192
00:17:44,077 --> 00:17:46,740
Hey, Mom, Pop did come this way.
193
00:17:46,702 --> 00:17:49,001
Here's this crummy travel
folder he was reading.
194
00:17:48,974 --> 00:17:50,772
Eddie, you're right.
195
00:17:50,991 --> 00:17:52,653
Come along, Grandpa.
196
00:17:52,784 --> 00:17:54,844
Neither blinding sun...
197
00:17:54,864 --> 00:17:59,427
nor burning desert sands shall
keep us from the swift pursuit...
198
00:17:59,569 --> 00:18:01,162
of our beloved Herman.
199
00:18:02,097 --> 00:18:03,190
March.
200
00:18:05,203 --> 00:18:08,401
Boy, things aren't crazy
enough on this trip...
201
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:11,469
your mother has to go and do
a commercial for the post office.
202
00:18:15,286 --> 00:18:17,551
But you know that guy
who walked in here...
203
00:18:17,526 --> 00:18:20,496
may get this tribe a
little prosperity after all.
204
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:23,044
The rest of the legend says...
205
00:18:23,031 --> 00:18:26,331
that if great God Wanitoba
marry Indian maiden...
206
00:18:26,264 --> 00:18:30,133
then crops grow, wampum
flow, everything is cool, daddy.
207
00:18:32,121 --> 00:18:34,955
Old green-in-the face marry
one of our Indian chicks?
208
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,875
The Chief is arranging it now.
209
00:18:36,859 --> 00:18:39,761
It won't be legal or anything, but
it'll make old Powatuma happy...
210
00:18:39,707 --> 00:18:42,677
and beginning next
week, if it's a hit...
211
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:45,112
we can stage the ceremony
three or four times a day.
212
00:18:45,085 --> 00:18:47,919
That'll bring the tourist
trade back with a bang.
213
00:18:48,478 --> 00:18:51,812
But will nausea-puss go
along with it? Are you kidding?
214
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:54,426
When I told him the set-up,
you know what he said?
215
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:58,234
"Gee, I always wanted to be
in the show biz. Ho, ho, ho."
216
00:19:00,224 --> 00:19:01,886
He may look like
Totem Pole Charlie...
217
00:19:01,889 --> 00:19:04,825
but underneath it all,
he's strictly Rotary Club.
218
00:19:17,348 --> 00:19:21,012
I think just a little bit more eye
shadow and we've got it made.
219
00:19:24,423 --> 00:19:26,517
Say, I took a
peek at my fianc�e.
220
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,296
I think this is gonna
be a real fun thing.
221
00:19:42,123 --> 00:19:44,592
Hey, Mom, I think
I see a village.
222
00:19:44,556 --> 00:19:46,115
There's tents and stuff.
223
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:47,974
I hope so.
224
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:52,441
Boy, this reminds me of the good old
days in the Transylvanian Foreign Legion.
225
00:19:52,654 --> 00:19:54,452
Just keep remembering...
226
00:19:54,446 --> 00:19:57,109
that whatever Herman's
doing, and wherever he is...
227
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:59,199
he' s thinking of
his little family.
228
00:20:06,066 --> 00:20:07,066
Hmm.
229
00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:19,184
Hey, Mom, that's Pop.
He's playing Indian.
230
00:20:20,245 --> 00:20:24,307
I'll say. And look who
he's playing Indian with.
231
00:20:34,617 --> 00:20:36,176
Friends of the groom.
232
00:20:44,378 --> 00:20:47,212
That goofball is
really getting married.
233
00:20:52,349 --> 00:20:54,181
Oh, you're darn right.
234
00:21:04,768 --> 00:21:06,066
Lily!
235
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,777
You can bet your
chicken feathers, it's Lily.
236
00:21:11,394 --> 00:21:13,693
All right, Chief
Glint-In-The-Eye...
237
00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:15,999
we're taking the
next train home.
238
00:21:16,227 --> 00:21:18,753
But, Lily... Don't
"but Lily" me.
239
00:21:24,229 --> 00:21:25,697
Lily. Lily.
240
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,795
Let's go, Eddie, before
your mother forgets...
241
00:21:27,782 --> 00:21:31,150
she's a lady and tomahawks
him into the happy hunting ground.
242
00:21:33,703 --> 00:21:36,867
Well, there goes
the old ball game.
243
00:21:37,224 --> 00:21:39,887
Yeah, but you know, Manny...
244
00:21:40,553 --> 00:21:43,387
I kind of feel sorry
for Chief Powatuma.
245
00:21:44,234 --> 00:21:47,466
He really believed that
old Indian legend. Yeah.
246
00:21:48,395 --> 00:21:52,230
Look at him over there, pouring
his heart out to the ancient Gods.
247
00:21:52,172 --> 00:21:53,800
Wanitoba...
248
00:21:54,284 --> 00:21:57,311
you are mighty, you are wise...
249
00:21:57,869 --> 00:22:00,361
but tell an old man one thing...
250
00:22:00,558 --> 00:22:04,552
why you send me
cockamamie Indian?
251
00:22:15,538 --> 00:22:19,236
But, Uncle Herman, how could
they talk you into getting married?
252
00:22:19,155 --> 00:22:22,990
I don't know. Those
nice Indian fellows said...
253
00:22:22,900 --> 00:22:26,632
I'd help bring prosperity to the tribe
and they made a big fuss over me.
254
00:22:26,549 --> 00:22:27,983
Heck...
255
00:22:27,989 --> 00:22:30,925
for the first time in my
life, I felt really important.
256
00:22:30,869 --> 00:22:31,928
Important?
257
00:22:31,958 --> 00:22:35,326
So when those nice Indian fellows
presented me with a headdress...
258
00:22:35,255 --> 00:22:37,520
and all that groovy war
paint and everything...
259
00:22:37,495 --> 00:22:40,294
gee, I felt like
a big movie star.
260
00:22:40,408 --> 00:22:44,140
Like Jack Lemmon,
or Sal Mineo even.
261
00:22:45,369 --> 00:22:47,167
I guess that's why I did it.
262
00:22:48,442 --> 00:22:51,344
You know something,
Herman, that even gets me.
263
00:22:52,507 --> 00:22:53,873
Hermie...
264
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:56,929
I didn't know that
you felt that way.
265
00:22:56,892 --> 00:23:00,761
And I want to apologize
right now for misjudging you.
266
00:23:01,021 --> 00:23:05,254
I know you didn't really
care about that Indian girl.
267
00:23:05,471 --> 00:23:08,908
Why, certainly not,
dear. Why would I?
268
00:23:09,631 --> 00:23:12,533
I mean, I've got a real
going squaw like you at home.
269
00:23:15,777 --> 00:23:18,906
Can I ask you something,
dear? Anything, dear.
270
00:23:22,755 --> 00:23:24,553
You want to Indian wrestle?
271
00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:29,153
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