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1
00:00:04,444 --> 00:00:07,482
Eddie, get your surfboard
in the car.
2
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:10,064
We're ready for the beach.
Okay, Mom.
3
00:00:18,191 --> 00:00:20,034
Well, I'm all set.
4
00:00:20,017 --> 00:00:23,226
With a little luck, I might dig
up a couple of old friends.
5
00:00:23,158 --> 00:00:25,365
Is the hamper all
packed, Aunt Lily? Yes.
6
00:00:25,337 --> 00:00:27,817
I even brought
a jar of ants.
7
00:00:27,772 --> 00:00:29,217
(Grandpa) Good idea. Yes.
8
00:00:29,214 --> 00:00:31,216
It would be just our luck
to get there...
9
00:00:31,201 --> 00:00:34,114
and have none of the little dears
show up and spoil our picnic.
10
00:00:34,052 --> 00:00:35,588
Here comes Pop.
11
00:00:41,038 --> 00:00:44,451
Pop, are you really going to go
swimming when we get to Paradise Cove?
12
00:00:44,371 --> 00:00:45,850
When we get
to Paradise Cove...
13
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:48,291
I'm gonna swim out way over
my head and everything.
14
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:51,559
You can meet up with some very interesting
things way out in the briny deep.
15
00:00:54,849 --> 00:00:57,090
So much for the national news.
16
00:00:57,092 --> 00:01:01,268
We have a report of a Russian trawler in
local waters right off Paradise Cove.
17
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:03,540
So far, they've stayed beyond
the three-mile limit...
18
00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:05,708
and they claim to be fishing.
19
00:01:05,713 --> 00:01:09,957
But who knows what the results of this
little fishing expedition may be.
20
00:02:10,314 --> 00:02:12,954
What a beautiful spot.
Yes.
21
00:02:13,294 --> 00:02:15,137
But it certainly
was strange, dear.
22
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:19,193
Those hundreds of people running
off the beach just as we arrived.
23
00:02:20,119 --> 00:02:24,090
Well, it's probably just another
one of those jellyfish scares.
24
00:02:29,668 --> 00:02:31,807
Herman, where are you going?
25
00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:32,785
Hmm?
26
00:02:32,808 --> 00:02:34,583
Where are you going?
27
00:02:39,666 --> 00:02:40,667
[laughing]
28
00:02:41,076 --> 00:02:43,317
I'm going
scuba diving, dear.
29
00:02:43,896 --> 00:02:46,900
And if I run into
any tasty-looking scubas...
30
00:02:46,844 --> 00:02:50,417
I'll spear one, we can clean
it, and have it for supper.
31
00:03:00,495 --> 00:03:01,940
Come on, Grandpa.
32
00:03:01,937 --> 00:03:04,417
Let's find a spot where I
can bury you in the sand.
33
00:03:04,372 --> 00:03:07,080
Okay, Eddie,
but this time bury me deep.
34
00:03:07,032 --> 00:03:10,844
I don't want any crazy dogs
digging me up like last time.
35
00:03:11,614 --> 00:03:13,651
(announcer) That Russian trawler
spotted off our coast...
36
00:03:13,633 --> 00:03:15,977
is still in the vicinity
of Paradise Cove.
37
00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:19,786
They have their nets out and they are
still beyond the three-mile limit.
38
00:03:19,753 --> 00:03:22,063
Well, good fishing, comrades.
39
00:03:22,478 --> 00:03:23,980
Come on, Grandpa.
40
00:03:23,984 --> 00:03:25,520
Okay, let's go.
41
00:03:39,589 --> 00:03:40,590
[exclaims]
42
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:43,790
These wolf burgers
are almost done.
43
00:03:43,755 --> 00:03:46,998
Eddie, go down to the water and
call your father for lunch.
44
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,565
And by the way...
45
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,472
where did you bury Grandpa?
46
00:03:50,452 --> 00:03:53,399
I sort of forget.
He's around here someplace.
47
00:03:54,714 --> 00:03:56,022
Hey, Dad!
48
00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:57,670
Dad!
49
00:03:58,495 --> 00:04:00,668
Mom, I don't see
Pop anywhere.
50
00:04:00,642 --> 00:04:02,679
Nonsense, Eddie.
He's right over there...
51
00:04:10,576 --> 00:04:11,611
[exclaims]
52
00:04:11,633 --> 00:04:13,874
Heavens to Betsy,
he's gone!
53
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,410
Oh, dear. I hope
nothing's happened to him.
54
00:04:16,375 --> 00:04:20,323
I knew I shouldn't have let him go
in the water without his sea horsie.
55
00:04:20,221 --> 00:04:22,565
Aunt Lily,
what are we going to do?
56
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:26,568
Eddie, here, take this and
poke around for your grandpa.
57
00:04:29,706 --> 00:04:30,912
[Grandpa yells]
58
00:04:31,148 --> 00:04:32,923
I think I found him.
59
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:40,148
Can't a body even get
some shuteye around here?
60
00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:41,932
Grandpa, something's happened.
61
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,418
We think that Herman's been
washed out to sea.
62
00:04:44,383 --> 00:04:46,659
So what's the problem?
He's Sanforized.
63
00:04:46,626 --> 00:04:48,503
We've got to find him.
64
00:04:48,484 --> 00:04:50,486
I hope a whale
hasn't eaten my pop.
65
00:04:50,471 --> 00:04:53,111
I wanted him to help me
with my homework tonight.
66
00:04:53,066 --> 00:04:56,513
Why did he take up
that silly scuba diving hobby?
67
00:04:56,816 --> 00:04:59,854
You know, Lily, when Herman
gets caught up in a hobby...
68
00:04:59,796 --> 00:05:02,106
he really gets
caught up in it.
69
00:05:02,071 --> 00:05:03,448
Good night.
70
00:05:18,926 --> 00:05:20,963
[speaking Russian]
71
00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:29,004
[both speaking Russian]
72
00:05:38,666 --> 00:05:39,667
Well...
73
00:05:39,883 --> 00:05:40,884
[chuckles]
74
00:05:41,485 --> 00:05:43,055
Scuba dooba do.
75
00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:48,829
Oh, yeah? Well, the
same to you, Charlie.
76
00:05:49,144 --> 00:05:52,216
What did the Bureau of Missing
Persons say, Grandpa?
77
00:05:52,156 --> 00:05:55,296
Well, they say
that Herman didn't qualify.
78
00:05:55,745 --> 00:05:57,281
Didn't qualify?
79
00:05:57,283 --> 00:05:59,126
He's missing, isn't he?
80
00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:02,887
He qualifies as missing,
but when I described him...
81
00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:05,537
they said he didn't
qualify as a person.
82
00:06:05,775 --> 00:06:06,776
Oh!
83
00:06:07,505 --> 00:06:09,815
My poor pussycat.
84
00:06:10,293 --> 00:06:12,204
Where, oh, where can he be?
85
00:06:17,023 --> 00:06:21,563
[Speaking Spanish]
86
00:06:23,335 --> 00:06:27,181
[speaking Russian]
87
00:06:30,385 --> 00:06:32,092
[speaking Russian]
88
00:06:46,215 --> 00:06:47,751
[speaking French]
89
00:06:48,907 --> 00:06:51,751
[speaking Russian]
90
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,776
I don't know how I'm gonna
make you chaps understand me.
91
00:07:01,724 --> 00:07:03,397
You speak English!
92
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,391
[exclaims]
93
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,198
Well, isn't it
a small world.
94
00:07:07,172 --> 00:07:08,981
Yes, I speak English.
95
00:07:08,966 --> 00:07:10,604
Me speak English.
96
00:07:10,601 --> 00:07:12,274
Me speak English.
97
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:13,300
[laughing]
98
00:07:13,645 --> 00:07:14,646
Well...
99
00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,774
Where did you learn it?
On the TV.
100
00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:21,287
We watch Russian reruns,
Dobie Gil/is.
101
00:07:22,553 --> 00:07:24,555
I'll be darned. TV.
102
00:07:24,925 --> 00:07:28,338
It certainly is a great medium
for cultural exchange.
103
00:07:28,513 --> 00:07:31,494
[speaking Russian]
104
00:07:38,095 --> 00:07:42,237
You very valuable
anthropological find.
105
00:07:43,157 --> 00:07:44,500
Thank you.
106
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,582
I do my best.
107
00:07:51,457 --> 00:07:52,765
[giggling]
108
00:08:01,103 --> 00:08:02,104
Uh...
109
00:08:02,544 --> 00:08:06,424
Say, listen, have you fellas
heard any good jokes lately?
110
00:08:06,710 --> 00:08:09,122
I heard a keen one
the other day:
111
00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:12,618
What has four wheels
and flies?
112
00:08:13,119 --> 00:08:14,120
[chuckling]
113
00:08:15,715 --> 00:08:17,854
Could be new secret weapon.
114
00:08:17,958 --> 00:08:19,335
Come on.
115
00:08:20,008 --> 00:08:23,478
You're supposed to ask me, "What
has four wheels and flies?"
116
00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:25,282
Okay, sea monster.
117
00:08:25,584 --> 00:08:28,588
What has four wheels
and flies?
118
00:08:29,494 --> 00:08:31,098
A garbage truck.
119
00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:33,732
A garbage truck?
120
00:08:34,877 --> 00:08:36,413
Garbage truck.
121
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,426
[all laughing]
122
00:08:40,549 --> 00:08:42,756
[speaking Russian]
123
00:08:50,387 --> 00:08:53,766
Say, listen.
You're a very good group.
124
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,273
Here's another one
that'll really grab you.
125
00:09:10,575 --> 00:09:12,555
Trawler number 47.
126
00:09:12,529 --> 00:09:16,443
Reports finding missing link near
the United States of America.
127
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:19,876
Definitely puts Russians ahead
in missing link race.
128
00:09:20,284 --> 00:09:21,786
Please advise.
129
00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:24,319
Composite picture en route...
130
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:26,099
to Commissar on missing links.
131
00:09:26,084 --> 00:09:27,791
Answer immediately.
132
00:09:27,783 --> 00:09:29,888
This report top-secret.
133
00:09:30,121 --> 00:09:32,499
Repeat. Top-secret.
134
00:09:43,035 --> 00:09:44,946
I've just got
a Russian top-secret.
135
00:09:44,926 --> 00:09:46,997
First one of the day.
Good work. What is it?
136
00:09:46,976 --> 00:09:49,115
That's from a Russian trawler
just off our coast.
137
00:09:49,091 --> 00:09:50,434
They radioed Moscow.
138
00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:52,782
They found a missing link
in their fishing net.
139
00:09:52,744 --> 00:09:54,724
Claim it's
a scientific breakthrough.
140
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,646
What's this missing link
look like?
141
00:09:56,622 --> 00:10:00,866
Here is a composite we just drew up from
the Russian ship's description of it.
142
00:10:02,422 --> 00:10:03,799
I can't imagine...
143
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,507
[bell ringing] what that's
the missing link to.
144
00:10:05,498 --> 00:10:07,034
Just a minute.
145
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:14,471
Moscow is sending another top-secret
back to the Russian ship.
146
00:10:14,919 --> 00:10:16,193
"Stupid idiots.
147
00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:19,410
"From your description,
this is not missing link.
148
00:10:19,790 --> 00:10:23,328
"You have obviously captured
new kind of American spy."
149
00:10:23,828 --> 00:10:25,432
An American spy.
150
00:10:25,526 --> 00:10:29,406
You'd better get this over to the
State Department right away.
151
00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:32,562
They won't be back from lunch yet.
It's only 3:00.
152
00:10:32,511 --> 00:10:35,583
That's a chance we're going to have to take.
Go on and get over there.
153
00:10:35,524 --> 00:10:37,435
How often do the Russians
capture an American spy?
154
00:10:37,414 --> 00:10:39,758
This is an emergency.
Yes, sir.
155
00:10:47,701 --> 00:10:51,046
Well, Grandpa,
Herman is nowhere to be found.
156
00:10:51,258 --> 00:10:53,898
Have you gotten anything
on that crystal ball of yours?
157
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,390
Wait a minute.
158
00:10:56,961 --> 00:10:59,271
I'm adjusting
the fine tunings.
159
00:11:03,755 --> 00:11:04,995
Hold it.
160
00:11:05,004 --> 00:11:06,847
I think
I'm getting something now.
161
00:11:06,831 --> 00:11:09,368
What is it?
I see an ocean.
162
00:11:09,747 --> 00:11:11,818
I see a boat.
Do you see Pop?
163
00:11:12,311 --> 00:11:14,985
Now hold it.
It's coming in clear now.
164
00:11:15,355 --> 00:11:18,529
There he is. I see Herman.
What's he doing?
165
00:11:18,463 --> 00:11:20,101
He's on a ship...
166
00:11:20,482 --> 00:11:24,794
and he is leading up a bunch of
funny-looking men in community singing.
167
00:11:25,737 --> 00:11:27,478
That's ridiculous.
168
00:11:27,692 --> 00:11:30,571
But, Lily, I saw it.
It was right there.
169
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,065
That crystal ball
has never been the same...
170
00:11:33,043 --> 00:11:36,684
since Spot sat on it for three
days and tried to hatch it.
171
00:11:40,189 --> 00:11:42,692
? Down by the station I'
172
00:11:42,657 --> 00:11:44,967
? Early in the morning ?
173
00:11:44,932 --> 00:11:47,538
? See the little
puffer bellies ?
174
00:11:47,495 --> 00:11:49,475
? Standing in a row ?
175
00:11:49,450 --> 00:11:51,896
? See the engine driver ?
176
00:11:51,853 --> 00:11:54,356
? Pulling on his throttle ?
177
00:11:54,417 --> 00:11:55,418
? Toot, toot! ?
178
00:11:55,442 --> 00:11:56,819
? Toot, toot! ?
179
00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:57,821
? Tweet, tweet! ?
180
00:11:57,846 --> 00:11:58,916
? Tweet, tweet! ?
181
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:01,541
? Offwe go ?
182
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,763
Now, everybody.
183
00:12:06,241 --> 00:12:08,778
? See the engine driver ?
184
00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:11,186
? pulling on his throttle ?
185
00:12:11,176 --> 00:12:12,177
? Toot, toot! ?
186
00:12:12,201 --> 00:12:13,578
? Tweet, tweet! ?
187
00:12:13,707 --> 00:12:18,520
? Off we go N'
188
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,156
[laughing]
189
00:12:24,315 --> 00:12:26,761
Herman, you've got
to stop singing.
190
00:12:26,717 --> 00:12:29,323
Why? What's the matter?
Was I off-key?
191
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:31,921
I just contact Moscow
on the wireless.
192
00:12:32,262 --> 00:12:34,674
Do you know
what you are, Herman?
193
00:12:35,017 --> 00:12:36,360
What I am?
194
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:40,207
I get it. It's gonna
be one of those jokes.
195
00:12:40,689 --> 00:12:42,828
No, Valeiry, what am I?
196
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,583
You are a spy.
197
00:12:45,784 --> 00:12:49,322
A SPY?
A SPY?
198
00:12:49,885 --> 00:12:51,057
A SPY?
199
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:53,579
Valeiry, are you sure
of this?
200
00:12:53,859 --> 00:12:55,964
Moscow wired me
this morning.
201
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,946
Our missing link
is international spy.
202
00:12:59,563 --> 00:13:01,440
But I not want
to tell you...
203
00:13:01,421 --> 00:13:05,392
until after you finished that
lovely song about the puffer belly.
204
00:13:05,971 --> 00:13:08,747
But I think
there must be some mistake.
205
00:13:08,695 --> 00:13:12,973
If I was an international spy, I think
someone would have let me know.
206
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:23,274
(Charlie) I've been in the State
Department over 15 years...
207
00:13:23,244 --> 00:13:25,053
and never saw a spy this ugly.
208
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:28,383
Yeah, Charlie, but you never know what new
gimmick the top brass might have come up with.
209
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,786
I guess you're right.
210
00:13:29,781 --> 00:13:32,921
We'd better check it out and see which
department launched this project.
211
00:13:32,857 --> 00:13:34,700
This may be
top-secret stuff.
212
00:13:34,684 --> 00:13:36,857
And that's a classified face,
if I ever saw one.
213
00:13:37,055 --> 00:13:38,500
[phone ringing]
214
00:13:40,035 --> 00:13:43,244
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
the Cisco Kid is having a ball.
215
00:13:43,175 --> 00:13:44,347
Never mind, John.
216
00:13:44,361 --> 00:13:46,705
You don't have to use
the code. It's me, Charlie.
217
00:13:46,668 --> 00:13:48,147
I just wanted to know...
218
00:13:48,142 --> 00:13:51,385
if that thing the Russians say they
captured could be one of our agents.
219
00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:54,056
Impossible. Impossible.
220
00:13:54,263 --> 00:13:55,264
You, uh...
221
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:59,106
You've never seen him
around here, have you?
222
00:13:59,069 --> 00:14:00,309
No, sir.
223
00:14:00,319 --> 00:14:03,857
Well, then this is obviously
a crude Russian hoax.
224
00:14:03,780 --> 00:14:07,125
Pass that on. This is definitely
a crude Russian hoax.
225
00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:11,893
Dawson, this is just
a crude Russian hoax.
226
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:19,245
"State Department exposes
crude Russian hoax.
227
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:22,417
"Story of spy
on Russian trawler a fake.
228
00:14:22,782 --> 00:14:24,762
"No such person exists."
229
00:14:24,769 --> 00:14:27,409
Look, they have
Pop's picture in the paper.
230
00:14:27,365 --> 00:14:29,106
That's my Herman.
231
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:32,616
That Russian trawler we heard
about on the radio.
232
00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:34,501
They must have
picked up Herman.
233
00:14:34,478 --> 00:14:37,789
How could a grown man go out
for a harmless little swim...
234
00:14:37,714 --> 00:14:40,752
and wind up being captured
by the Russians as a spy?
235
00:14:40,694 --> 00:14:43,641
I'll admit it's difficult,
but in all the world...
236
00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:47,424
only my son-in-law has the talent
to do anything that stupid.
237
00:14:54,441 --> 00:14:56,648
"Russian spy story a fake."
238
00:14:57,133 --> 00:15:01,639
Oh, to be embarrassed in front of
our glorious leader like this.
239
00:15:02,325 --> 00:15:05,238
By the way, who is our
glorious leader this month?
240
00:15:05,176 --> 00:15:06,553
Never mind.
241
00:15:06,811 --> 00:15:10,384
I know who our glorious leader is.
I was just testing you.
242
00:15:10,304 --> 00:15:13,683
What message should I send to
the fishing boat, Commissar?
243
00:15:13,604 --> 00:15:16,380
To think that Mother Russia
should be embarrassed...
244
00:15:16,328 --> 00:15:18,968
in front of
the whole world like this.
245
00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:22,530
Here is the message
I want you to send:
246
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:26,053
Whatever you have found,
missing link...
247
00:15:26,582 --> 00:15:28,357
deep-sea creature...
248
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,387
whatever this ugly,
ugly thing is...
249
00:15:31,933 --> 00:15:33,742
do not bring it back.
250
00:15:35,907 --> 00:15:37,181
[clearing throat]
251
00:15:38,662 --> 00:15:40,699
Get rid of it immediately.
252
00:15:41,002 --> 00:15:44,449
Dump it into the ocean or
whatever, but get rid of it.
253
00:15:45,039 --> 00:15:47,315
I have your message,
Commissar.
254
00:15:47,283 --> 00:15:49,092
"Russian Pipe Dream."
255
00:15:49,077 --> 00:15:50,078
[exclaiming]
256
00:15:52,666 --> 00:15:53,872
Stroke.
257
00:15:54,589 --> 00:15:55,590
Stroke.
258
00:15:57,889 --> 00:16:00,802
Grandpa, do you think
we're doing the right thing?
259
00:16:00,741 --> 00:16:02,846
I tell you, Lily,
this is the only way.
260
00:16:02,824 --> 00:16:04,826
If the State Department
won't help us...
261
00:16:04,811 --> 00:16:07,189
we'll have to rescue
Herman ourselves.
262
00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:08,823
I guess you're right.
263
00:16:08,816 --> 00:16:10,318
But we better hurry.
264
00:16:10,323 --> 00:16:13,270
There's no telling what those
people will do to Herman.
265
00:16:13,207 --> 00:16:14,982
He's so defenseless.
266
00:16:15,738 --> 00:16:18,218
Do you think the Russians
will brainwash him?
267
00:16:18,174 --> 00:16:20,313
If they do,
I hope they're careful.
268
00:16:20,288 --> 00:16:22,859
I'd hate to have a son-in-law
with a dishpan brain.
269
00:16:48,167 --> 00:16:49,510
Thank you.
270
00:16:49,865 --> 00:16:51,242
Thank you, friends.
271
00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:53,951
You heard the message
from the Commissar?
272
00:16:53,902 --> 00:16:55,540
Herman has got to go.
273
00:16:55,537 --> 00:16:57,642
Yeah, but who's got the heart
to tell him?
274
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:58,826
(Herman)
Now, ladies and gentleman...
275
00:16:58,838 --> 00:17:00,283
I have plan.
276
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:03,122
We give Comrade Herman
farewell party.
277
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:04,810
I see.
278
00:17:04,829 --> 00:17:07,605
We kiss him on both cheeks
and then we shoot him.
279
00:17:07,554 --> 00:17:09,056
[speaking Russian]
280
00:17:09,733 --> 00:17:12,714
He's too nice guy
for Russki farewell party.
281
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:16,735
We give him nice, decadent
American farewell party.
282
00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:20,118
Like in MGM musical.
283
00:17:20,692 --> 00:17:24,401
Good, we have much singing,
dancing, laughing.
284
00:17:24,312 --> 00:17:27,953
After that, all of a sudden,
we shuffle him off to Buffalo.
285
00:17:31,362 --> 00:17:32,432
(man)
Hey!
286
00:17:32,645 --> 00:17:34,215
[feet stomping]
287
00:17:34,374 --> 00:17:35,375
(man)
Hey!
288
00:17:37,258 --> 00:17:38,293
(man)
Hey!
289
00:17:38,316 --> 00:17:41,422
Listen, Grandpa.
They're torturing poor Herman.
290
00:17:41,585 --> 00:17:43,360
Do you think
he'll be able to hold out?
291
00:17:43,347 --> 00:17:46,328
Don't worry, Lily.
He's got nerves of steel.
292
00:17:46,264 --> 00:17:49,973
Yes, but I just hope they
don't rust in this damp air.
293
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,700
N[music playing]
294
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:09,159
It was a fine idea we give
Herman farewell party, Gregor.
295
00:18:09,079 --> 00:18:12,083
It was only way
we could get him to leave.
296
00:18:19,172 --> 00:18:22,483
It's times like this I'm glad
I'm a Lawrence Welk fan.
297
00:18:23,306 --> 00:18:25,616
Notchey, baby,
you're a gasser.
298
00:18:35,899 --> 00:18:37,879
And I thought
he was in danger.
299
00:18:37,854 --> 00:18:40,494
And what do I find?
Herman-a-go-go.
300
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,976
Lily, maybe
they are there torturing him.
301
00:18:43,911 --> 00:18:48,189
I mean, that's not exactly Juliet
Prowse he's wiggling his watusi with.
302
00:18:48,942 --> 00:18:51,183
Well, I'll put a stop
to that.
303
00:19:31,913 --> 00:19:35,292
They just don't build these
things like they used to.
304
00:19:35,278 --> 00:19:36,518
(Lily)
Herman?
305
00:19:37,328 --> 00:19:38,363
(Herman)
Lily.
306
00:19:38,994 --> 00:19:40,530
[stuttering]
And Grandpa.
307
00:19:40,533 --> 00:19:43,036
What are you doing out here
in the middle of the ocean?
308
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,412
That's what
we'd like to ask you.
309
00:19:48,224 --> 00:19:49,703
Who are they?
310
00:19:50,434 --> 00:19:52,744
You read
your propaganda booklets.
311
00:19:52,709 --> 00:19:55,553
They're capitalistic tools
of Wall Street.
312
00:19:55,497 --> 00:19:57,841
In the books
they wasn't green.
313
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,450
You know what I think?
314
00:20:00,464 --> 00:20:04,276
I think that you are just
a carousing playboy...
315
00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:06,945
and so are all
of your wild friends.
316
00:20:07,931 --> 00:20:11,276
Just playboys.
Playboys! Playboys!
317
00:20:11,199 --> 00:20:13,338
No, Lily,
that one's a girl.
318
00:20:13,602 --> 00:20:15,343
Herman, I'm ashamed of you.
319
00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:17,973
My son-in-law,
the dirty old man.
320
00:20:20,396 --> 00:20:22,967
Herman,
you are coming with me.
321
00:20:23,152 --> 00:20:24,495
Yes, dear.
322
00:20:26,228 --> 00:20:29,698
But, lady, we're only having
a little farewell party.
323
00:20:29,657 --> 00:20:31,534
Well, farewell to you.
324
00:20:31,515 --> 00:20:34,291
You just take
your yacht of corruption...
325
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,346
and revelry and sail on,
home wreckers.
326
00:20:37,892 --> 00:20:40,634
Don't talk that way
in front of my friends.
327
00:20:41,802 --> 00:20:43,543
Herman, come along.
328
00:20:51,832 --> 00:20:55,905
Well, fellas, Notchey,
goodbye.
329
00:20:55,805 --> 00:20:59,014
If you're ever in Mockingbird
Heights, look me up.
330
00:21:06,508 --> 00:21:09,182
That's what Americans
are really like.
331
00:21:10,161 --> 00:21:12,835
Holy mackerel,
what party poopers!
332
00:21:13,621 --> 00:21:14,895
Let's go.
333
00:21:15,127 --> 00:21:17,004
N[music playing]
334
00:21:23,395 --> 00:21:25,739
Lily, won't you
let me explain?
335
00:21:30,028 --> 00:21:31,371
Grandpa...
336
00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:35,652
will you tell that miserable person on
the couch that I am not speaking to him?
337
00:21:36,276 --> 00:21:38,722
Miserable person
on the couch...
338
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,126
your wife
is not speaking to you.
339
00:21:41,308 --> 00:21:43,345
You hear that, you fathead?
340
00:21:43,327 --> 00:21:45,637
Please, Grandpa,
just translate.
341
00:21:45,602 --> 00:21:48,048
Never mind
the editorial comment.
342
00:21:48,198 --> 00:21:50,144
Even I'm surprised at you.
343
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:54,728
I never thought my dear, sweet,
kind uncle would go ape.
344
00:21:56,593 --> 00:22:00,063
Well, golly-gee. How would you like it
if you were pulled out of the ocean...
345
00:21:59,990 --> 00:22:01,469
in a fishnet
and dumped into a hole...
346
00:22:01,464 --> 00:22:04,536
and have a bunch of people
think you were a missing link?
347
00:22:05,181 --> 00:22:09,027
I tell you that sort of thing is
very damaging to your psyche.
348
00:22:09,282 --> 00:22:10,283
[scoffs]
349
00:22:11,077 --> 00:22:14,490
Why were you carousing
with those people?
350
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:19,308
Well, Lily, I was just trying to be one
of the boys and friendly and all that.
351
00:22:19,536 --> 00:22:23,575
After all, dear, I am a member of the
Junior Chamber of Commerce, you know.
352
00:22:23,702 --> 00:22:25,807
You've just got
to forgive me.
353
00:22:26,266 --> 00:22:28,906
The way they do on television
every afternoon...
354
00:22:28,861 --> 00:22:30,534
on The Guiding Light.
355
00:22:31,233 --> 00:22:32,439
Go ahead, Lily.
356
00:22:32,450 --> 00:22:35,397
Make up with the big slob
before he starts blubbering...
357
00:22:35,334 --> 00:22:38,804
and washes all the furniture
out into the street again.
358
00:22:41,999 --> 00:22:44,275
Well, all right.
359
00:22:44,467 --> 00:22:46,003
I forgive you.
360
00:22:46,582 --> 00:22:48,186
Thank you, dear.
361
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:51,439
That's real wizard of you.
362
00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:55,470
But I want you to forget about
those Russian friends of yours...
363
00:22:55,395 --> 00:22:58,774
and all of that singing
and dancing and carrying on.
364
00:22:58,791 --> 00:23:01,397
I certainly will, dear.
I promise.
365
00:23:02,124 --> 00:23:03,501
All right.
366
00:23:04,463 --> 00:23:08,070
Now, come on upstairs,
we'd all better get to bed.
367
00:23:08,148 --> 00:23:10,651
I'll be up in a minute,
sweetheart.
368
00:23:12,313 --> 00:23:13,314
[sighs]
369
00:23:33,110 --> 00:23:35,351
? Down by the station ?
370
00:23:35,322 --> 00:23:37,131
? Early in the morning ?
371
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:39,027
? See the little
puffer bellies ?
372
00:23:39,007 --> 00:23:40,543
? Standing in a row N'
373
00:23:41,666 --> 00:23:42,667
Hey!
374
00:23:42,717 --> 00:23:47,267
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