Original subtitles

♪

Hey daddy-o.

Hey, daughter of mine.

Hey, daughter of mine.

How was school today?

No clue.

I ditched class and flash-robbed

a forever 21.

Ah, life of crime.

Ah, life of crime.

Well you know, I probably

shouldn't admit this, but I am

comforted by the idea of you

wearing a stay-at-home anklet.

Wearing a stay-at-home anklet.

Mm-hmm.

[Cell phone ringing]

Oh it's mom.

Hey.

You know I made some eggplant

you know I made some eggplant

parmesan.

You want some?

No thanks.

I made it with extra

I made it with extra

parmesan.

Dad.

Yeah?

If you want to know what mom

and I are texting about, just

and I are texting about, just

ask.

What were you and mom

texting about?

Nothing.

She has to run to a meeting.

We're gonna catch up later.

We're gonna catch up later.

Oh, real--really.

What were you guys talkin'

about?

Dad, nothing.

Oh.

Oh I get it.

Oh I get it.

Girl stuff.

Ah, yeah, yeah.

Well you know, kaci, I'm good

for chats about malls, movies,

mani/pedis...

Mani/pedis...

The female anatomy.

Okay.

I'm still in.

Kaci, you know you can talk to

me about anything.

Me about anything.

Okay.

"Can" and "choose to" are two

different things.

Wow.

With all due respect, dad,

With all due respect, dad,

you're a dude.

Not going there.

Kaci, you know I'm good for

at least a couple hours.

At least a couple hours.

Well that's just not long

enough.

So call me when you really have

time for me.

Time for me.

You're not getting off that

easy.

We will talk about your lady

business.

♪ good thing we've got ♪

♪ one another ♪

♪ one another ♪

♪ read between the lines ♪

♪ stuck between a rock ♪

♪ and a hard place ♪

♪ could be a hard place to be ♪

♪ if I didn't have ♪

♪ my village holdin' me ♪

♪ my father, son ♪

♪ two daughters ♪

♪ and two best friends ♪

♪ and two best friends ♪

♪ surroundin' me with ♪

♪ the strength of 10,000 men ♪

♪ ha-ha, yeah, I got this ♪♪

[Chuckling]

[Soft instrumental

music playing]

Ellis.

Ellis.

Oh hey.

Hey what are you doin' here?

Can't a friend stop by with

a large, unidentified package

a large, unidentified package

without being questioned?

Now that smells like...

Mm.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

I can't believe you finally

baked eggplant parmesan for me.

Now I was bringin' it to you

anyway, but it just so happens

I need an assist.

I need an assist.

Kaci has stuff she needs to

talk about and she won't talk

to me.

To me.

Release the pan.

Oh, girl stuff?

Yes.

Okay, come on.

Okay, come on.

Dahlia, would you put some of

this on a plate for me?

Alex please don't do this to me.

Now you know I don't talk to

kids unless I have a

kids unless I have a

thermometer in their butt.

Don't look at kaci as a kid.

Look at her as you, without the

look at her as you, without the

boobs of bitterness.

Whoa.

I-Is that Julius' wife?

Yup.

That's Rita.

That's Rita.

In all her gold digging glory.

Is she carrying my bag?

Oh, hers is real though.

Oh, hers is real though.

I didn't know she was

Dr. Gupta's patient.

Well he's obviously her ear,

Well he's obviously her ear,

nose, and throat specialist.

You know, before I was fire

chief I...

[Simultaneously]

Did all the cooking at seven

did all the cooking at seven

different fire stations.

So you've heard the story?

I bet people used to tell

you all the time you should

open your own place.

Open your own place.

Ah, compliments.

That's exactly how you get an

extra helping.

Grandpa, you're handsome,

Grandpa, you're handsome,

And you're perceptive and

bright, and deserve another

bright, and deserve another

helping.

I'm serious, pop.

Think about it.

Your own place.

I'd put up my own hard-earned

money to invest in that.

Money to invest in that.

What do you say?

Partners?

Why not.

My wife's gallivantin' all over

the globe spendin' our

retirement money, maybe I

retirement money, maybe I

should get a little business

goin'.

That's what i'm

talkin' about.

Oh yeah.

Hey.

You know organic is the fastest

you know organic is the fastest

growing food segment in the U.S.

Let me show you the

vegetable garden Alex and I

started out back.

Started out back.

Hear me on this, Simone.

I am not going to lie to my man.

Perhaps you can entertain

the possibility that you're

the possibility that you're

wrong.

This is about man code.

All right?

There are three things a man

never does.

Never does.

Ask for directions, pee sitting

down, and not tell his best

friend that his wife is

cheating on him.

Cheating on him.

If Julius already knows and

you tell him what we saw, he

feels like a fool.

If he doesn't know and you tell

him what we saw, he still feels

like a fool.

Either way, he's a fool.

You would never pass the man

code exam.

Code exam.

Okay, look, look, look, look.

If-if

I can't talk you out of it, at

least let me talk to Rita first.

I mean, if she's already told

him that she's dating

him that she's dating

Dr. Gupta, we stay out of it.

If she hasn't told him, knowing

we know will force her to come

clean and he never has to know

we know.

That actually makes sense.

Chick logic usually does.

Chick logic usually does.

Dad, have you noticed that

Dad, have you noticed that

everybody treats me like a kid.

Why is that?

Well it might have something

to do with your motor skills.

To do with your motor skills.

You gonna clean that up?

Yeah.

All right.

Well tell me what's wrong son.

Grandpa mad sea bass for

dinner.

Dinner.

Oh with or without caper

sauce?

Dad.

Okay, no caper sauce, I got

it.

Julius was so impressed that

after like six helpings, he

after like six helpings, he

offered to bankroll a

restaurant for grandpa.

Hm.

Well, pop is an excellent chef.

Julius is a pretty savvy

Julius is a pretty savvy

businessman.

I don't know, the food business

though, it's kinda tough.

Well no, grandpop's creations

are special.

Are special.

I know with my help it could

work.

But they wouldn't even listen

to my ideas.

Like just because I'm young and

extra good-looking I'm stupid.

Extra good-looking I'm stupid.

And even if they did think

you were stupid, what's more

important?

What other people think of you,

what other people think of you,

or what you think of yourself?

Oh dad, please don't go all

"as a man thinketh" on me.

Begin.

Now.

Now.

[Simultaneously]

"Out of the night that covers

"me black as the pit from pole

"to pole I thank whatever gods

"to pole I thank whatever gods

"may be for my unconquerable

soul."

Louder.

Dad, look all I want to do

is get grandpop to listen to me.

Is get grandpop to listen to me.

You know, he might need a

hearing aid.

"Out of the night that

"covers me black as the pit

"covers me black as the pit

"from pole to pole I thank

"whatever gods may be for my

unconquerable soul."

What up, row?

What up, row?

Row?

We're not in a boat.

It's Mr. Reed.

Now that we're business

Now that we're business

partners, I figured we do away

with the formalities.

Got your restaurant.

You found a spot already?

It found me.

Rolled right past me.

Rolled right past me.

She's parked out front.

Who's parked out front?

Rita.

Our new food truck.

Our new food truck.

Food truck?

What the hell?

She's a beauty.

I bought it from one of my

extermination buddies.

Extermination buddies.

Slap on a few coats of paint,

pull out the poison vats, put

in some hot plates, we're good

to go.

Are you crazy?

Are you crazy?

That's not what I signed up for.

Well, no, food trucks are

really hot these days, grandpop.

I could tweet out your location

every day to let customers know

every day to let customers know

where your truck'll be parked.

I don't know about all that

tweety bird nonsense.

I just wanna cook good food.

I just wanna cook good food.

It's called branding.

Check it out.

I even made a logo.

Oh that-that's not half bad.

Oh that-that's not half bad.

Doesn't mean I'm payin' you

for it.

Now look, I can get a great

Now look, I can get a great

deal on ground beef in bulk

over at king street meat & Such.

Oh, no, no.

No and such in my beef.

No and such in my beef.

We need fine quality

ingredients.

Oh so you're in?

Yup, I'm in.

Me too.

Me too.

[Chuckles]

Okay, mom, so we'll see you

in six months.

Oh it is so good to see my

oh it is so good to see my

favorite little patient.

Now you promise to take all

your medicine?

Yes, Dr. Winters.

All right.

All right.

Oh, that's my boy.

Mm.

All right.

Sanitize me.

Sanitize me.

Ooh.

Kaci, god, am I glad to see you.

Kaci, god, am I glad to see you.

You are?

Someone who knows how to

brush their own teeth and

doesn't have head lice.

You don't, do you?

You don't, do you?

No.

Okay.

Auntie Simone, can I ask you

something?

Hmm?

Why did you become a

Why did you become a

pediatrician?

Um, well, I suppose because

I'm good at math, I love

science, I'm the oldest of

science, I'm the oldest of

eight kids and kids are what I

knew.

I just forgot that they were

all nasty little self-centered

all nasty little self-centered

virus collectors.

So what can auntie Simone do

for you?

♪

A++.

A++.

Because this student obviously

listens to my lectures.

Sometimes I forget how good I

am.

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

What'd you do this time?

Rescue a dangling participle?

Oh hello there.

Hey.

How you doin'?

How you doin'?

Have a seat.

Where you ah, where are you

comin' from?

Oh the meeting with auntie

Simone you're pretending you

didn't set up.

Didn't set up.

I gotta go get my books.

Jasmine's giving me a ride--

[Car horn beeps]

--To the library.

--To the library.

Kaci, I told you a million

times to ask your friends not

to honk their horns outside the

house.

Okay.

Okay, dad.

Daddy?

What is ortho tri-cyclen?

Oh those are birth control

Oh those are birth control

pill--

why are you askin' about that?

Because this dropped out of

kaci's bag.

Kaci's bag.

Oh.

Whoa.

No these, these right here are

specialty mints.

Yes, yes.

Yes, yes.

Mints.

That's what they are.

And apparently they're from

auntie Simone.

I love mints, daddy.

Can I have one?

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

At least not until you're 30

and in a committed relationship.

Alex, hey, it's awfully

early for a visit without a pan

early for a visit without a pan

of baked bribery.

So what brings you by this

time, Alex?

Time, Alex?

Uh-oh.

I know that look.

That's the same look your had

when Julius declawed your cat

when Julius declawed your cat

and blamed it on me.

You declawed cash's kitty

and you know it.

And you know it.

Simone, this is a look of a man

who can't believe you gave his

daughter birth control pills.

What's next?

Signing her up for a pole

signing her up for a pole

dancing class?

It's an excellent form of

cardio and you can see yourself

out.

Out.

No, Simone, that's not how

it works.

You can't completely trample on

my parental rights and then

refuse to talk about it.

Refuse to talk about it.

Well I tried to talk to you.

I sent you a text, left you a

message.

"Hit me back" is not a

"Hit me back" is not a

message.

I can't believe you're not

taking responsibility for this.

For what?

Prescribing ortho tri-cyclen

prescribing ortho tri-cyclen

to a teenager for a heavy

menstrual cycle?

Her...Her what?

Her...Her what?

Her period.

Heavy flow; Lots of cramping.

Heavy flow; Lots of cramping.

See, once a month women have

this thing.

Okay, I get it.

Okay, I get it.

Oh wow.

All right, look.

I know I got a lot going on,

I know I got a lot going on,

there's no excuse.

But Simone, it's the truth.

All right, I need you to give

me a pass on this.

I don't want to have to

apologize for caring about my

daughter.

If you weren't the first boy

to ever touch my pre-boobs.

To ever touch my pre-boobs.

I would be so done with you

right now.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

We good?

We good.

[Laughing simultaneously]

[Laughing simultaneously]

Hey, you talk to Rita by the

way?

Ah, according to my

Ah, according to my

assistant, who's dating

Dr. Gupta's first cousin...

I don't follow.

Well it turns out that Rita

Well it turns out that Rita

comes by for a little afternoon

delight almost every evening.

Wouldn't that make it

evening delight?

Evening delight?

Really?

Just make it clear for her,

if she doesn't talk, I will

if she doesn't talk, I will

invoke the man code.

Rita.

Rita.

Hey.

Hey.

Simone.

Your office isn't in this

building.

Sure is.

I've been here for about a year

I've been here for about a year

now.

You know, I just finished

remodeling and picked out the

cutest wallpaper.

Oh wallpaper you say?

Oh wallpaper you say?

Did you hire a designer?

Oh no, no, no.

I dabble a little.

I mean, you're a dabbler

I mean, you're a dabbler

yourself, no?

Nope.

Never dabble.

That's surprising.

Because you always seemed a

because you always seemed a

little indecisive to me.

You don't really know me, do

You don't really know me, do

you?

No not as well as perhaps

some of the other doctors in

the building.

The building.

Might I suggest you mind

your own business?

Tell Julius the truth, or

Tell Julius the truth, or

man code will force me to.

I always knew you weren't

born a woman.

Born a woman.

Grandpop?

Yeah?

How many dependents do I

have?

You better not have any.

You better not have any.

Let me see that.

You're not a Chinese exchange

student on work-study.

Student on work-study.

But Julius said I was

supposed to--

Oh give me that crap.

He's not callin' the shots

around here.

And who told you to go in my

and who told you to go in my

suitcase without my permission?

Guess who got a great deal

on velveeta?

Oh good for you.

Now all you need are some

rat traps to put it in.

[Chuckles]

That's cute.

You got a lot to learn.

It's Mac and cheese supreme.

It's Mac and cheese supreme.

It requires seven cheeses to

make it supreme.

I doubt that the customers

I doubt that the customers

are gonna say, cheese number

one, good.

Cheese number four, kinda tangy.

Look, you can't do this

Look, you can't do this

without me.

You can't do it without me.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Good news.

I'm done with the revised logo

for the truck.

Already hacked your computer

Already hacked your computer

and got it.

Which leads me to, ta-da.

Synergy.

Genius.

Genius.

First of all, I'm not

wearin' that.

Secondly, [louder]

I'm not wearin' that.

Yeah.

I'm with grandpop.

I'm with grandpop.

We don't want to associate our

food with bugs.

Keenan, you're fired.

Look our food'll be so good,

Look our food'll be so good,

people are gonna take it home,

leave it out.

Next thing you know, ants,

roaches.

They got a real problem.

They need an exterminator.

They need an exterminator.

Who they gonna call?

We control pests.

We control pests.

The company on the back of

their t-shirts.

I'm not comin' out of

retirement to promote your

vermin-chasin' business.

Vermin-chasin' business.

I quit.

Well somebody's gotta pay me

for these t-shirts.

For these t-shirts.

I'm not sayin' you.

I'm just sayin' somebody's

gonna pay me for these t-shirts.

You told me not to go into

business with a buy who spent

business with a buy who spent

30 years runnin' into burning

buildings.

Hey Alex.

Hey.

Well, Rita's dead.

Well, Rita's dead.

Oh my god.

You killed her already?

I didn't.

His dad did.

His dad did.

Mr. Reed killed Rita?

Before she even had a chance.

Maybe I'll open a food truck by

maybe I'll open a food truck by

myself.

He named the truck after his

wife.

Oh.

So how's the real Rita by

So how's the real Rita by

the way?

I assume she's fine.

Haven't seen her since our last

bank transaction.

She's fine?

She's fine?

So that means no need for a

visit to a tall, good-looking,

Indian throat specialist?

Indian throat specialist?

We have something we need to--

Rita's dabbling!

What Simone is trying to say

What Simone is trying to say

is we busted Rita cheating on

you.

My Rita?

My Rita?

I can't believe this.

After all I've done for her.

After all I've done for her.

The cars, the trips, the Gucci

fondue set.

I hope you kept the receipts.

I hope you kept the receipts.

This isn't happening.

I'm goin' to give her the boot.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

And you guys are comin' with

me.

[Simultaneously] No.

You have to.

It's man code.

[Sighs]

You're right.

Let's go.

Look I'm not goin' anywhere.

I'm not a man.

Need I remind you of the

frozen g-string incident?

Frozen g-string incident?

We spent hours chippin' away at

that thing.

And you did knick me once.

Okay, listen, if you really

okay, listen, if you really

wanna go catch her, I know

exactly where we need to find

her if you're sure--

Woman.

Quit talkin' and take me to my

woman.

[Simultaneously] Just go.

All right.

♪

I know she's not cheatin'.

She would never cheat on me.

Rita's not a cheater.

Rita's not a cheater.

Shh.

The cheater has landed.

Hey Rita where you goin'?

What are you doin' here?

What are you doin' here?

We told on you.

What are you, five?

Are you cheating on me, Rita?

Are you cheating on me, Rita?

I'm not having this

conversation in public.

My office is private.

My office is private.

You did me wrong, Rita.

Big time.

Can you ask frick and frack

to give us some privacy?

To give us some privacy?

Frick, frack, you mind?

What?

We didn't even wanna come.

Fine, I have some stool

Fine, I have some stool

samples to review anyway.

Yeah.

What?

So what, you gave up on our

So what, you gave up on our

relationship and forgot to tell

me?

I thought we had a chance,

but you don't even try to be

romantic anymore.

Romantic anymore.

I can't remember the last time

I, I jumped in the trunk, and

you snuck me into the drive-in.

Charging $5 a bucket of

Charging $5 a bucket of

popcorn.

We brought are own.

Jiffy pop was 99 cents a pan.

Look, you don't have time

Look, you don't have time

for that anymore.

But you always complained

about how cheap I was, Rita.

You just don't get it.

You just don't get it.

Look, all I know is I work

like a dog to provide the kinda

lifestyle you said you want.

And this is the thanks I get?

Simone: Still here if you

Simone: Still here if you

need us.

♪

Grandpop?

Yeah.

I've been thinking.

Finally.

Finally.

All right.

Okay look, here it is.

You've got the cooking skills

and I've got the marketing

skills.

Skills.

Who's got the money?

That's you too.

I'm serious.

I found three used catering

trucks for sale.

Mm.

Mm.

I don't know grandson.

You don't know?

"It matters not how straight

"the gate, how charged with

"the gate, how charged with

punishment the scroll."

[Simultaneously]

"I am the master of my fate, I

am the captain of my soul."

All right.

Let's do it!

Let's do it!

Yes.

First off, responsibilities.

Yes sir, captain sir.

Now you will be responsible

for cleanin' the truck,

for cleanin' the truck,

cleanin' the stove, cleanin'

the fish, cleanin' the floors...

You know.

You know, I just realized.

What?

What?

I really need to spend more

time studyin'.

Oh.

But good luck with the

business though.

Oh okay.

♪

♪

Julius: I'm not

tryin' to control you.

Rita: You wouldn't let me

pick my own birkin bag.

Julius: That's because I was

tryin' to please you.

Rita: Well you forgot how to

Rita: Well you forgot how to

do that a long time ago.

Julius: Look this

conversation's goin' nowhere.

Rita: Then stop talking.

Simone, you hear that?

They stopped arguing.

They stopped arguing.

Or she killed him.

Oh.

Is he dead?

Is he dead?

I think Marvin gaye called a

sexual healing.

[Moaning]

I can't believe they used my

ladybug pillow like that.

Ladybug pillow like that.

Have to air that sucker out.

Okay here it is.

I'm a man, right?

I guess.

That was rhetorical.

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

Kaci, look, you know I want

the best for you.

And sometimes I feel like

and sometimes I feel like

talking to me may not be it.

But from now on, we're gonna

talk anyway about anything.

Talk anyway about anything.

Okay, well.

I kind of have something i'd

like to talk about right now.

Like to talk about right now.

You do?

Okay.

Let's, ah, let's talk.

Um, how old were you when

Um, how old were you when

you first had sex?

I--haven't.

I--haven't.

I mean, you know, not that I

haven't.

You know, what I mean is,

you know, what I mean is,

um...16.

What?

What?

Wow.

Wow?

So...

So what?

So nothing.

You are not me.

You are not me.

You are waiting 'til you're 40.

Now you tell me.

That's not funny.

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

[Soft instrumental music

playing]

[Sighs]

[Typing]

Here's what I know for sure.

Here's what I know for sure.

No communication can damage

friendships.

Ill-advised communication

ill-advised communication

can get you trapped

behind the wrong closed doors.

And communicating about

difficult issues can make a

difficult issues can make a

relationship stronger.

Especially if you're a man

trying to raise a daughter with

trying to raise a daughter with

all of your values and none of

your issues.

♪

♪

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