Original subtitles

Daddy, why do we have

to eat eggs at breakfast time?

Mm, I don't know, baby.

Why do you think we eat eggs

why do you think we eat eggs

in the morning?

Maybe because we have

to eat the eggs early

before the chickens

see that they're missing.

Wow, Alexis,

that is a really good answer,

sweetie.

That is exactly why

I no longer eat anything

with a face.

With a face.

I don't want any mommy animals

mad at me.

I don't mind.

I don't know any chickens

personally.

Personally.

Give it up for your boy.

I was just tagged

as the newest member

of the fresh five fraternity,

of the fresh five fraternity,

or as we call it,

the fuh-fuh-fuh.

Do I look any different?

Uh...

Uh...

Slightly less intelligent

than last night.

Yeah, but I really--

I don't understand

why you're so excited.

I mean, being a part

of the fresh five

of the fresh five

is really nothing

but a popularity contest.

And guess who won.

And guess who won.

So look,

every year, five cool juniors

tag five cool freshmen

to carry on the cool legacy.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Thanks to my charm,

good looks,

and keen sense of style,

I made the cut.

Yeah, but you were

Yeah, but you were

already cool, Keenan.

I mean, you're

the class president, right?

Yeah, but being a part

of the fresh five

takes me to the coolest level

takes me to the coolest level

of cool-osity.

Well, I think

it's ridiculous.

I mean,

it's not even a real club.

You guys

don't even have jackets.

Oh, speaking of jackets,

dad, I need some money

to get some of my

fresh five gear.

Fresh five gear.

What about the money

in your savings account?

That's for the future.

I need money right now.

After all, I'm a fuh-fuh guy.

After all, I'm a fuh-fuh guy.

Oh, well, in that case,

fuh-fuh-forget it.

[Laughs]

[Funky music]

[Funky music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Oh, she can't wait.

Oh, she can't wait.

All right, Dr. Reed,

you are now officially confirmed

you are now officially confirmed

to speak on the panel

at the Westchester

woman's empowerment conference.

Woman's empowerment conference.

Oh, wow.

This is so good.

Gosh, I finally

get an opportunity

to speak about women

and relationships.

Yeah.

And they're really

treating you very nicely.

You get lunch, a parking pass,

you get lunch, a parking pass,

and one free ticket.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I thought I got

two free tickets.

I invited glenda

I invited glenda

and her husband.

Oh, I forgot.

Glenda canceled.

Glenda canceled.

So I just assumed

I would take the ticket,

you know?

And then I'm thinking about

giving the other one

to miss jimenez.

To miss jimenez.

Ms. Helen,

what makes you think

you can just give

my tickets away?

I said, I was going

I said, I was going

to give it to miss jimenez.

Then you can take it

as a charitable donation.

As a charitable donation.

Ah.

That's a good point, Ms. Helen.

Well done.

I see what you're doing there.

Morning, ladies.

Morning, ladies.

Oh, good morning.

Hello, Gabby.

Hi.

Hey, I am speaking

at this conference this week,

at this conference this week,

and I'm on a panel

about love and relationships.

And I thought

you might want to come.

You might want to come.

Oh, do you need me there

for moral support?

You don't see it, do you?

You don't see it, do you?

See what?

Well, Gabby,

maybe it'll be good for you,

you know, with you and Anthony

you know, with you and Anthony

breaking up and you're,

you know, trying to do things

differently, remember?

Carla, I'm fine.

Carla, I'm fine.

I've been meditating.

I've gotten in touch

with my spirit.

I've done some research

on my family history

and watched

some really good infomercials.

Some really good infomercials.

And how's that

working out for you?

Yeah, I'm gonna

get there early

so I can get a good seat.

So I can get a good seat.

Okay.

Very, very good idea.

Everyone's looking at me

different, right?

You see it, right?

'Cause you look

like an idiot.

Like an idiot.

I'm just saying...

Yo, Keenan, welcome

Yo, Keenan, welcome

to the fresh five, man.

Congratulations.

Yo, Braxton, man,

when I heard, I was like--

when I heard, I was like--

I was like, "what?"

Dude, this is the craziest thing

that's ever happened to me.

Know what I mean?

You know what I mean?

You know what I mean?

Okay, freshman,

I'm gonna need you

to bring all that down,

like, 1,000.

Got it, got it.

Yeah, bringing it down,

yeah, bringing it down,

bringing it down.

Uh, look, a couple of us

were gonna hang out

by the gym for a minute.

You want to come?

Fo' sho'.

I mean--i mean, for sure.

I mean--i mean, for sure.

For sure.

Hey, kaci, you were

on that save the planet

committee, right?

Yeah.

Can you show me

Can you show me

where the recycling bin is

so I can get rid of this,

sweetheart?

Uh, no, but your new

fresh five friend can.

Fresh five friend can.

Look out, Braxton.

Keenan!

Get that out of here.

Get that out of here.

The recycling bin

is the other way.

Okay, I'm done

with my half of the dishes.

You enjoy that

burnt lasagna pan.

Burnt lasagna pan.

[Phone beeps]

Guess who's psyched about

going to Braxton's party

this weekend.

Oh, huh.

Guess who doesn't care.

Guess who doesn't care.

Seriously, I mean,

why would you want

to hang around a group of guys

that you have to act different

to get them to like you?

To get them to like you?

I mean...

Okay, watch.

Yo, Braxton!

What?

Know what I mean?

Do you even know what you mean?

Look, this isn't

Look, this isn't

just for me, all right?

See, you're invited too.

So if I'm in,

you're in too, okay?

You're in too, okay?

You're gonna be popular

despite yourself.

Okay, Keenan, how can I

get you to understand

get you to understand

that being popular

is not important to me?

I mean, I'm captain

of freshman volleyball,

where everybody looks up to me.

And I might've scored

the game-winning shot

in last week's basketball game.

And yeah, there were cheers.

And yeah, there were cheers.

But who cares?

I'm happy being me,

a buzzer beater.

A buzzer beater.

Yeah, well,

when you're 50 years old

and live in a house

with a whole bunch of cats,

are you gonna be happy then?

Delighted.

Delighted.

Oh, hey, Ms. Helen,

I already got our gift bags.

Oh.

There is purple lip gloss,

There is purple lip gloss,

a work it woman pedometer,

and a panic whistle

from "stop, this

is not your purse" campaign.

Is not your purse" campaign.

[Laughs]

Oh, look,

there's Dr. Armondi Stokes.

They call him "the love master."

They call him "the love master."

Oh, he's cute.

He's on Carla's panel?

Uh, if he can't me find someone,

maybe I can help him find me.

Maybe I can help him find me.

He's on the best-seller list:

How to get him,

from a him who knows.

Dr. Stokes.

Dr. Stokes.

Dr. Stokes.

Miss Helen, wait.

I want to try my lip gloss.

Helen Wilson.

I am a huge fan of yours.

I am a huge fan of yours.

I love this book.

Oh.

Would you?

Of course.

Thank you.

[Clearing throat]

[Clearing throat]

Oh, this is my associate,

Gabriella jimenez.

Gabriella jimenez.

Yes.

Nice to meet you.

How are you?

Your Waterloo.

She really needs

to read your book twice.

To read your book twice.

I plan to.

Listen, I already got it

this morning.

Would you mind signing it,

please?

Oh, not a problem at all.

Oh, not a problem at all.

Nice tie.

Thank you.

Hi, guys.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Oh, hi.

How are you?

Hi, Dr. Stokes.

I'm Dr. Carla Reed.

Oh, Dr. Reed.

We're speaking together

on the panel today.

Yes, yes, tha--yes.

Wow.

Wow.

Oh, would you like me

to sign your book as well?

Oh, no, I actually

didn't buy one yet.

Oh, that's okay.

I'll sign your folder.

I'll sign your folder.

Oh.

It's Reed, r-e-e-d?

Yes, with a "d" and an "r"

and two "e"s in between.

All right.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Thank you.

Dr. Reed, Dr. Stokes,

we're about to get started.

We're about to get started.

Oh, great, okay.

Nice meeting you ladies.

Good luck.

Thank you.

I was talking to Dr. Stokes.

I was talking to Dr. Stokes.

That's a good-looking man.

Okay.

You know, if I wasn't

with torian, he'd be in trouble.

With torian, he'd be in trouble.

Welcome, ladies.

I'm Angela Mason,

your moderator today.

Our guest speakers on the panel

are radio host

are radio host

reverend Timothy Bristol,

known for his interactive

couples video game,

couples video game,

love him like the lord.

[Applause]

Best-selling author

Dr. Armondi Stokes,

Dr. Armondi Stokes,

because we all want to know

what those men are thinking,

right?

[Applause]

And Dr. Carla Reed,

and Dr. Carla Reed,

who's here to let us all know--

Hi.

Hi, there.

Hello.

Hello.

Oh, wow.

Here I am.

So I have so much information

that I want to give you

that I want to give you

and so much

that I want to share.

Could we share that mic

so I could finish

introducing you?

Oh, yes, of course.

Oh, yes, of course.

Oops, sorry.

Here you go.

Be right back.

So to all my single friends,

so to all my single friends,

don't buy into the idea

that just because

you're by yourself,

you're by yourself,

you have problems or issues

that need to be fixed.

The fact of the matter is,

we are all worthy of love.

We are all worthy of love.

And realizing that

and realizing that

is the beginning of finding it.

[Applause]

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Um...

Um...

I'm one of the few men here,

so, ladies, please be nice.

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

But I do want to know

who came here to find out

how to get a man,

from a man who knows.

[Applause]

[Applause]

All right.

Let's be real, ladies.

You don't want to waste

you don't want to waste

your pretty years

on self-reflection

and introspection.

You can go into the audience

you can go into the audience

like that?

No one told me that.

I could've done that.

You see,

I grew up in a house

full of women,

full of women,

five sisters and a mother.

And you know what?

They always had a man.

They always had a man.

Uh-huh.

And you know why?

Why?

Because they had

a bag of man tricks,

a bag of man tricks,

a big ol' bag.

All right, if you want

to get a man,

you need to have a strategy,

right?

Right?

You got to be stealthy,

sneaky, and sly.

Sneaky, and sly.

Turn on the oven

and practice cooking a rib roast

in nothing but high heels

and that smile.

And that smile.

You know, he's right.

That's how I got torian.

Only thing, it was a meatloaf.

This is not empowering.

This is not empowering.

Okay, I'm sorry, Dr. Stokes.

Dr. Stokes, I have issue

with what you're sharing

with what you're sharing

with these women.

See, you women always

want to talk about issues

and problems,

communication.

Ladies, let me share with you

some foolproof tricks

some foolproof tricks

on how to get a man.

I am sorry, Dr. Stokes.

She keeps stopping him

at the good part.

What you are saying

is the antithesis

is the antithesis

of everything that I've learned

in all of my years

as a therapist.

Mm-hmm.

I just--i don't think

I just--i don't think

this is the appropriate

environment for what

you're saying.

Right, right.

Right, right.

You know, Dr. Reed,

let's ask the audience.

Okay.

Okay.

Ladies, do you want to feel

worthy, empowered,

worthy, empowered,

and all by yourself

with Dr. Reed?

With Dr. Reed?

Or do you want to get

that good man

with benefits by next month?

[Applause]

Oh!

Oh!

The ladies have spoken.

[Chuckles]

Bam.

Bam.

So tell me how it went.

I was on a panel

with this guy

with this guy

who was telling the women

to be sneaky and sly

and to cook rib roasts naked

and to cook rib roasts naked

to trap a man

like it was the dark ages.

It was nothing about self-worth

and self-love.

They were all just so caught up

they were all just so caught up

in his charm.

And he walked into the audience,

babe.

Who does that?

Who does that?

You know, maybe the women

thought he had a valid

point of view.

You can't be serious.

It sounds like the guy

It sounds like the guy

was just giving them

a different perspective.

Look, there are some guys

who would be impressed

by a woman serving them dinner

in nothing but an apron.

In nothing but an apron.

And there are some women

who would be happy to do it.

Not an apron.

He said, and I quote,

he said, and I quote,

"heels and a smile."

And even more

would be impressed by that.

Would be impressed by that.

Uh.

Plus, I remember a few

clothing-optional dinners

we've had, Dr. Reed.

We've had, Dr. Reed.

Yeah, but, Dr. Reed,

that's different.

Yeah, how?

I got nothing.

I got nothing.

Aha.

Dr. Stokes gave them flash.

I gave them substance, Alex.

Yeah, well, newsflash, babe:

Yeah, well, newsflash, babe:

Everybody's not ready

for substance.

I just really want

those women to know

that a loving relationship

that a loving relationship

is possible without

gimmicks and tricks.

I need a real-life example

I need a real-life example

of a relationship that works.

Hmm.

Why are you looking like that?

What are you doing tomorrow,

Alex?

Looking good, sorita.

Looking good, sorita.

Yeah.

Hey, what's up, Jessica?

Lookin' fine, lookin' fine.

No, we don't

No, we don't

think she's cute.

I-i-i take that back.

I got your funyons

and your breath mints.

Oh, good looking out,

freshette.

Freshette.

Hey, come on, fellas.

Let's roll.

Okay, yeah, it's really not

that bright in here.

You don't need your glasses.

You don't need your glasses.

So...

Wait, nataya,

you're a--you're a freshette?

I mean, why are you

sucking up to those guys?

You don't need them.

Look, if I'm gonna be

invited to the cool parties,

invited to the cool parties,

then I got to help the guys

with small errands.

Unlike you,

I am not gonna get invited

I am not gonna get invited

because Braxton likes me.

Whoa, wait.

What are you talking about?

Braxton's feeling you.

Braxton's feeling you.

It's the only reason

why he let Keenan

into the fresh five,

to get to you.

Wow.

Wow.

I mean, even though he's totally

superficial, arrogant,

stands for, like, nothing,

I mean, it is kind of flattering

I mean, it is kind of flattering

that he's feeling me.

Speaking of feelings,

Keenan's gonna be crushed

if he finds out,

if he finds out,

so don't say anything.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey, nataya,

these are spearmint

not peppermint.

I am so sorry.

I'll get you the right ones,

I'll get you the right ones,

okay?

Okay.

Oh, that's cute.

Yeah, that's real cute.

Yeah, that's real cute.

That is so cool.

Being cool, I love it.

Being cool, I love it.

Yeah, you keep

telling yourself that.

Dr. Reed,

what are you doing here?

Hey, there.

I'm here to support Carla.

I heard this conference

was pretty good.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Oh, Gabby,

you look kind of tired there.

I was up all night

reading these self-help books,

and I was more confused

than ever, so I stayed up

than ever, so I stayed up

even later watching

the notebook.

And that made me depressed,

because I don't have

a love like that.

So I ended up confused,

depressed, and exhausted.

I'm tired.

I'm tired.

And what makes that different

than any other day?

Welcome again, ladies.

Welcome again, ladies.

Yesterday our panelists

had some differing

points of view.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

So today they'll be

taking your questions.

So let's get started.

Questions?

Uh, Dr. Stokes,

um, I was wondering

how to keep my man

from straying.

That is an easy one.

That is an easy one.

A man only strays

when he's not satisfied.

So there are no tricks for that.

So there are no tricks for that.

You need to dedicate yourself

to making your man happy.

[Clears throat]

[Clears throat]

Dr. Reed?

Yes, okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I think that I established

yesterday that being

happy with yourself

happy with yourself

is a precondition

for a happy relationship.

And no one can do that for you

but you.

Hmm.

Hmm.

All right.

Here we go.

Dr. Stokes,

I'm a successful businesswoman,

I'm a successful businesswoman,

and my boyfriend

seems threatened by my success.

What should I do?

Play it down a little

Play it down a little

and use your time

boosting him up.

Okay.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

I am a successful businesswoman,

and my husband supports me.

And my husband supports me.

He is proud

of my accomplishments

the same way

that I am proud of his.

That I am proud of his.

Oh, how did you

trick him into that?

Oh.

Excuse me, Dr. Stokes,

Excuse me, Dr. Stokes,

do you have a woman?

Well, I'm sorry, sir.

Well, I'm sorry, sir.

I don't believe

that's any of your business.

Well, you're up here

as an expert on relationships.

And I figured the audience

and I figured the audience

would like to know

how yours is working out.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Oh, I see.

Oh, I see.

You two are together.

This must be Mr. Reed.

This must be Mr. Reed.

Dr. Reed.

It's Dr. Reed.

It's Dr. Reed.

Oh, he fancy, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I see

what you're trying to do.

What you're trying to do.

You're both trying

to ambush me.

No, no, not at all.

I'm just trying

to make the point that,

while your methods may work

for some people,

all men don't necessarily

have to be tricked

into loving their woman

unconditionally or supporting

unconditionally or supporting

them when they're doing

something they love.

I mean, if someone loves you,

the support comes automatically.

It's either there or it isn't.

Okay.

[Applause]

[Applause]

And that is why Dr. Reed

and myself have been married

for almost ten years.

For almost ten years.

You see, I am worthy,

empowered, and I am not

empowered, and I am not

by myself.

So...

Sorry, I just have bad knees,

sorry, I just have bad knees,

but I'm fine.

Um, I'm not saying

that what Dr. Stokes

said is wrong.

Said is wrong.

What I'm saying is that

there's not just one way.

There's not a right way

to find the love

to find the love

that you're looking for.

Right?

Oh, I've got it.

Oh, I've got it.

And see, it would be rude

to drop the mic.

So I'm just going

so I'm just going

to set it down.

Oh, Mr. Palmer,

those kicks are fire, son.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Keenan, you sound ridiculous.

Hi, misery.

Do you have company?

Do you have company?

No, I'm serious.

You're taking this

fresh five thing way too far.

Am I really?

Am I really?

Take a picture real quick.

Okay, okay.

Look, I'm really not

look, I'm really not

supposed to be telling you this,

but the only reason

you got into fresh five

is because Braxton

has a crush on me.

Has a crush on me.

Really?

Okay, so the most popular kid

in school has a crush on you,

so he let the coolest guy

so he let the coolest guy

in school join his club.

Aw, yeah, you trippin', son.

Keenan, it's true.

Keenan, it's true.

Yeah, I know

you believe that.

That's what's cute about you.

Yo, yo, k-swag.

What up?

What up?

B.

See, he even gave me a nickname.

Oh.

So listen to this.

Kaci says the only reason

you let me join fuh-fuh-fuh

you let me join fuh-fuh-fuh

was because you

have a crush on her.

She trippin', right?

She trippin', right?

Right?

Right, son?

Okay, look, I'm really sorry

Okay, look, I'm really sorry

to let you down and all,

but I would never

date a guy like you.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, so it's like that, huh?

Oh, it's like that, fo' sho'.

Oh, it's like that, fo' sho'.

Man, I thought y'all guys

thought I was cool.

Here's your jacket back.

Here's your jacket back.

Yo, Trevor,

what's up with your sister?

And what size jacket

and what size jacket

do you wear?

Y'all ain't gonna

graduate anyway.

All right.

Alexis is snoring.

The twins aren't

making any noise.

It is safe to say

that we are alone.

Mm.

Mm.

So would you like to play

doctor, doctor?

Doctor, doctor?

Mm.

Well, you know, my exam room

is right upstairs.

Oh.

You know, I think we should

skip the pre-op,

because I have a very early

morning tomorrow.

Yeah, how early?

Very early.

I can't sleep.

I can't sleep.

I'm gonna watch a movie.

[Sighs]

I swear they have kiss radar.

Oh, it's okay, sweetie.

Oh, it's okay, sweetie.

You can't sleep?

Hey, you guys

are watching a movie?

Okay, if we're watching a movie,

then I get to pick

then I get to pick

because Keenan picked last time.

W-wait.

Who said we were

watching a movie?

What's going on?

You're making too much noise.

You're making too much noise.

It's a movie night.

It is?

Movie night?

This late at night?

Our family is cool.

Our family is cool.

Oh.

Come on, sweetie.

All righty, then.

Get on in here.

Well, after we pick

Well, after we pick

the movie, we should

make some popcorn.

Mm.

Sure, why not?

What were you guys

doing down here anyways?

Doing down here anyways?

[Clears throat]

Nothing.

Nothing.

We were just

waiting for you guys.

Yeah.

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