Original subtitles

Ah, will you look at that?

Wow.

You wearing those corny

t-shirts your grandparents sent

t-shirts your grandparents sent

you.

Very nice and very brave.

Very brave.

Well, you know, I thought it

would make them happy.

Would make them happy.

And I wanted to make Keenan look

bad.

So Alexis and I had to put

ours on so that wouldn't happen.

Ours on so that wouldn't happen.

I can't leave him hangin'.

Did I say it right, Keenan?

Look, I made a test pancake

Look, I made a test pancake

from this new batter I'm working

on, so everybody take a bite and

let me know what you think.

Mmm.

Honey, this is delicious.

I was going to count carbs

today.

Forget about that.

Forget about that.

Yes.

You like?

If Santa claus had a pancake

stand, this is what he would

sell.

Oh, well, thank you, honey,

Oh, well, thank you, honey,

but you are still not getting

a cat.

[Doorbell rings]

It's them.

They're here.

They're here.

[Funky music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

Grandma!

Hi, hon, how are you?

Hey, mom, dad.

Alex!

Alex!

Oh, honey, oh.

Hey, how was the ride in the

r.v.?

R.v.?

Oh, it was okay.

Okay?

Huh.

That thing's got a queen-sized

bed, satellite TV,

a full kitchen.

A full kitchen.

It's a house on wheels.

As a matter of fact, I let

Liz take the wheel for a while

Liz take the wheel for a while

so I could make breakfast for

the family.

Well, dad, I'm making

breakfast.

Breakfast.

I've got the pancakes started in

the kitchen.

I'm all finished with mine.

Six-burner stove on that r.V.

Six-burner stove on that r.V.

Oh, look at this.

Liz, they're wearing the

Liz, they're wearing the

t-shirts we sent them.

[Laughs]

Lookin' sharp, kids.

Lookin' sharp.

Thanks, granddad.

Yeah, they are great.

Yeah, I love it.

Yeah, I love it.

Mine itches.

Hey, why don't you guys come

on in, have a seat.

You've been on the road for

hours.

Hours.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

You're always so thoughtful.

Yeah, well, I got to use the

restroom.

I'm going to the r.V.

Oh, Monroe, there's a

Oh, Monroe, there's a

bathroom right down the hall.

Does it have a bidet?

No.

Then I'm going to my r.V.

Then I'm going to my r.V.

You know, don't count my

recipe out just yet.

Recipe out just yet.

Tomorrow--

[banging sound]

Tomorrow, I may take the same

batter and make some waffles.

Batter and make some waffles.

Okay, why is Monroe unhooking

the sink in the middle of

breakfast?

You know he's Mr. Fixit.

Yeah, but the sink isn't

Yeah, but the sink isn't

broken.

Well, that didn't stop him

from replacing our deck four

times since he retired.

Times since he retired.

Dad.

Dad, listen, man, I appreciate

you looking out for us, but you

don't have to fix the sink.

Don't have to fix the sink.

It works fine.

As slow as this thing is

draining?

You have some blockage in your

u-bend, brother.

U-bend, brother.

Come check it out.

Let me go see.

Let me go see what happened with

the u-bend.

The u-bend.

What did you do here?

Look.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Now it seems to be draining

slightly...

More quickly.

[Groans]

[Groans]

This water can run much faster

than this.

Liz, go get my toolbox from the

r.v.

[Sighs]

No, mom, mom, I got it.

No, mom, mom, I got it.

Enjoy your breakfast.

Relax.

Keenan, go get your granddad's

toolbox from the r.V.

Toolbox from the r.V.

Come back quickly.

Quickly.

And pull up your pants.

Man, this isn't fair.

Why do we have to be stuck in

this kitchen, wearing these

this kitchen, wearing these

t-shirts, cleaning up all this

mess?

This shirt is sucking the cool

out of me.

Keenan, stop being so

Keenan, stop being so

selfish.

Okay, granddad Monroe was nice

enough to cook us breakfast, and

the least we can do is wash the

the least we can do is wash the

dirty dishes.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oops.

Look what I did.

Guess I can't wear this t-shirt

guess I can't wear this t-shirt

anymore.

Come on.

No.

No, no.

No, no.

I couldn't.

Mm-mmm.

Okay, okay.

Well, let me know how it goes

when granddad wants you to wear

that corny t-shirt to school on

that corny t-shirt to school on

Monday.

And then the cow was

returned to its rightful owner.

Returned to its rightful owner.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, get over here.

Come on.

What happened?

What happened?

Um, we accidentally got food

on our favorite t-shirts while

we were cleaning up the kitchen.

Yeah, so now we have to go

Yeah, so now we have to go

change.

Do you want grandma to wash

them and see if I can get the

stains out?

No, no, no, they're pretty

No, no, no, they're pretty

much ruined.

Yup.

Yeah, go.

Go upstairs, change your--yeah,

go upstairs, change your--yeah,

whoa.

Take those off.

And pull up your pants.

So hey, you guys, I was thinking

so hey, you guys, I was thinking

today we could go over to the

promenade and do a little

shopping.

Oh, you know what your mother

likes.

I'm not going to have time,

I'm not going to have time,

son.

I was going through the house,

and your doors don't close all

the way, so I'm going to re-hang

the way, so I'm going to re-hang

them and add some

weather stripping.

Dad, our doors are fine.

Hey, I got to make myself

useful, huh?

Useful, huh?

I'm trying to lower your

electric bill,

keep the heat from rushing out

and the bugs from rushing in.

Well, my electric bill is

fine, all right?

Fine, all right?

You don't need to hang our

doors, just like you didn't need

to fix our sink.

Why don't you just relax and

enjoy your life, dad?

Enjoy your life, dad?

You're retired now.

You think the bugs are

retired?

Look, water bugs are just

waiting to get in here.

But, Monroe, the promenade's

But, Monroe, the promenade's

going to be so much fun.

I love walking.

And I love hanging doors, so

And I love hanging doors, so

now we'll both be having fun.

Alex?

Alex?

Alex, honey, you awake?

[Snoring]

[Snoring]

[Sighs]

[Continues snoring]

[Continues snoring]

[Continues snoring]

[Snoring stops]

[Snoring stops]

Baby, you--you awake?

Mm, not really.

Mm, not really.

Oh, since you are...

Have you noticed anything weird

going on with your parents?

No.

Why?

I don't know.

I was just checking.

I was just checking.

The reason I ask...

The reason I ask...

It just seems like there's,

I don't know, more tension

between them than usual.

No, come on, babe, that's how

No, come on, babe, that's how

they communicate.

You know that.

We talk about it every single

time they visit.

I know, but...

I know, but...

I don't know, your mom just

doesn't seem like she's having

any fun.

No, my mom's fine.

No, my mom's fine.

Look, I know my dad is

a handful, all right?

A handful, all right?

But he just needs to feel needed

right now.

The man has been working as long

as we can remember.

As we can remember.

And now he's stuck at home.

Look, at least he's not sitting

home watching TV judge shows all

home watching TV judge shows all

day.

I'm just worried about your

mom.

She doesn't seem like the same

old Liz.

Then maybe you need to have

Then maybe you need to have

one of your two-chardonnay

lunches at marylou's.

You'll both be in a better mood

you'll both be in a better mood

after all that wine and some

creme brulee.

That's a good idea.

We always have so much fun

we always have so much fun

together.

Mm, yeah, sounds fantastic.

Are you just saying that

because you want to go to sleep?

Yes.

Yes.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Go back to sleep.

You sure?

Mm.

Mm.

There's nothing else you want

to talk about?

No.

I'm fine.

Good night, babe.

I love you.

Good night.

Good night.

I love you too.

Great.

Now I'm awake.

Now I'm awake.

They changed the menu since

the last time I was here.

Mm.

Mm.

It was so good.

Well, they made everything

tastier and more fattening.

God, I love it when they do

that.

That.

I love that.

I never get to go to nice

restaurants like this anymore.

Mm?

Mm-mm.

Mm-mm.

Monroe usually picks places that

call your name when your order

is ready.

Eww.

Well, I'm glad you're enjoying

well, I'm glad you're enjoying

our day together.

You know, I'm starting to think

that you're not loving this idea

of driving cross-country as much

of driving cross-country as much

as Monroe is.

It wasn't even my idea.

What do you mean it wasn't

your idea?

I thought you guys have been

planning this since you retired.

Planning this since you retired.

Mm-mm, Monroe's been planning

this.

I wanted to take a trip to

Florence, Italy.

Florence.

Florence.

His solution was to go to

south Carolina and visit his

sister, Florence.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Gosh.

Liz, what--i mean, have you been

having any fun since he got

home?

Can I tell you the truth?

Can I tell you the truth?

When do you not tell me the

truth, Liz?

It's been sheer misery.

What?

Now, Monroe has always been

Now, Monroe has always been

controlling, but since he

retired, he's being controlling

times ten.

Times ten.

Oh.

Monroe times ten?

Wow.

That's, like, 9 1/2 monroes too

that's, like, 9 1/2 monroes too

many.

The problem with Monroe is,

it's either his way or the

it's either his way or the

highway.

He never asks my input for

anything.

He just does what he wants to

he just does what he wants to

do.

An r.V.?

Cross-country?

Give me a damn break.

Give me a damn break.

Oh, gosh.

Well, I mean, it didn't bother

you before?

Of course it did, but I could

Of course it did, but I could

take him in small doses when we

were both working.

Right.

But now, these last six

But now, these last six

months, he's home every day, all

day, all up under my feet,

expecting me to kowtow to him

expecting me to kowtow to him

like I am one of his workers.

Oh, Liz.

Oh, Liz.

That sounds really rough.

I mean, you're his wife, right?

I mean, you're his wife, right?

You're not a longshoreman.

Thank you.

I don't know how much more I can

take of this.

Take of this.

And I never thought that I would

ever say this, but I've even

been thinking about leaving him.

Been thinking about leaving him.

Wow.

Does Monroe know about this?

Does Monroe know about this?

How am I supposed to tell

him?

I can't get a word in edgewise.

But you--you--you got to tell

But you--you--you got to tell

him what's going on.

I mean, you got to tell him how

you feel.

He won't listen.

He just does what he wants to

do.

Do.

I told him I wanted to see the

world; He brought me a globe.

World; He brought me a globe.

I--Liz, I know that Monroe is

difficult.

Difficult.

But you can't throw 40 years

away without a conversation.

I--i just don't think that you

i--i just don't think that you

should assume to know how he's

going to respond to something

that you've never said before.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, all right.

Before you start "theraperizing"

me, I will try and talk to him.

Me, I will try and talk to him.

"Theraperizing" isn't a word.

Just--i just wanted you to know

that it's not a word.

That it's not a word.

I don't know, dad.

Are you sure you don't want to

put that on the stove, man?

Put that on the stove, man?

I'm finally showing you the

secret to my secret barbecue

sauce, and you want to tell me

sauce, and you want to tell me

what to do.

All right, fair enough.

My bad.

All right, what's next?

All right, what's next?

All right.

The secret is...

All the ingredients go in cold.

Then you heat it up.

That's it?

Well, that, and three

Well, that, and three

tablespoons of honey...

A little dash of pepper...

A little dash of pepper...

Right, little dash.

And a little bit of salt.

Hmm.

Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, go--go

whoa, whoa, hey, hey, go--go

easy on--on the salt.

You know mom has to watch her

blood pressure.

Now, if you want, I got some sea

salt.

Well, that'd be good if I was

Well, that'd be good if I was

cooking dinner for some fish.

But don't worry.

The fire kills off

all the extra salt.

All the extra salt.

What?

Where'd you get that from?

Hey, how was lunch?

Hey, how was lunch?

Oh, it was so nice.

And by the looks of things,

you had a good time.

[Clears throat]

Since the kids ruined their

since the kids ruined their

t-shirts, look what I got.

But, Monroe, the kids don't

like these t-shirts, do they,

Carla?

Huh?

Huh?

What--oh.

Oh, gosh, smells so good in

here.

What are you Reed men cooking?

Oh, just a little chicken,

Oh, just a little chicken,

baby back ribs, hot links.

Monroe, you know I love

your barbecue, but I shouldn't

be eating that.

Be eating that.

Did you get any fish?

Barbecued fish?

You sound like sea salt over

here.

See, Alex, the doctor told me

See, Alex, the doctor told me

that I should be eating more

fruits and vegetables to get my

pressure down.

But does he listen?

No, not to me, not to the

no, not to me, not to the

doctors, not to anybody.

Hey, no worries, mom.

I am making you a good salad.

Thank you, darling.

Thank you, darling.

No, she doesn't need a salad.

She's fine.

Uh, see?

See, that's what I'm talkin'

about.

There you go, Monroe.

There you go, Monroe.

You're always pushing, always

doing exactly what you want to

do.

You just don't listen to me.

You just don't listen to me.

You don't listen to anybody.

That's why you have our poor

grandkids in there in those

ugly t-shirts.

Hey.

Hey.

And that is exactly why you

are going to finish this

cross-country trip by yourself.

Cross-country trip by yourself.

I'm out of here.

Vacation's over.

Elizabeth.

Elizabeth.

How many chardonnays did you

guys have?

Guys have?

She won't talk to me.

She won't even open the door to

the r.V.

And you can't break into that

thing.

I got the good door, solid steel

reinforced with three dead bolt

reinforced with three dead bolt

locks.

I don't understand what

happened.

I've been nothing but good to

that woman for all these years.

That woman for all these years.

Dad, hey, you know I love

you, man.

I mean, you have been a great

I mean, you have been a great

father, but maybe you haven't

always been the best husband.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

I always paid the bills.

I always came home.

I bought her flowers for

Valentine's day.

I even added to her tupperware

I even added to her tupperware

collection every birthday.

Dad, all these years,

I thought my mother was okay

I thought my mother was okay

with the way you treated her.

But look, you're sitting here,

and she's out in the r.V. By

herself.

Herself.

You make it sound like it's

my fault.

Well, it is.

You always have to control

everything.

No, I don't.

Dad, you rehung all the

Dad, you rehung all the

doors in my house.

You painted kaci's closet.

You redid the plumbing in my

you redid the plumbing in my

kitchen before you ate

breakfast.

I just wanted you to have

faster running water.

Did you ask us if we wanted

faster running water?

Who doesn't want faster

running water?

That's not the point.

Look, I know you're trying to

look, I know you're trying to

help, but that doesn't mean

taking over.

Now, you may have been the

foreman when you were working on

the docks, but, dad, you cannot

the docks, but, dad, you cannot

be the foreman in your marriage.

I guess I stepped in it now.

How am I going to get out of the

doghouse on this one?

Doghouse on this one?

Are you asking me for advice?

Well, you and Carla seem to

be pretty happy.

How do you get her to do what

how do you get her to do what

you want?

[Laughs]

Well, first of all, I don't try

to get her to do what I want.

To get her to do what I want.

All right?

I listen to her.

And even though I may not agree,

I respect her opinion.

All right, for example, let's

all right, for example, let's

say...

Let's say mom wanted to fly

let's say mom wanted to fly

cross-country instead of drive.

What would you say?

Well, we want to see the

countryside.

Countryside.

You can't see anything from the

sky.

We would drive.

See?

There you go.

You just made the decision

without even taking into

without even taking into

consideration what she wants.

Now, if it were me, I would have

answered, "you know, flying's

answered, "you know, flying's

not a bad idea, but let's

compromise and take the train."

Well, that doesn't make any

Well, that doesn't make any

sense.

If she wanted to take the train,

why didn't she say so?

And if she did, would you

have listened?

No, because I just bought the

No, because I just bought the

r.v.

Wrong answer?

Wrong answer?

[Sighs]

All right, let's try another

one.

I want to fix this.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, good.

All right, here we go.

Okay...

Do you think this is going to

work?

I have been coaching him all

I have been coaching him all

afternoon.

I hope something sticks.

[Sighs]

Well, here goes nothing.

Well, here goes nothing.

Hey, come on, are you going

to wear that to your romantic

dinner with your wife?

We're having dinner in the

kitchen.

Put this on.

Put this on.

If you think it'll help.

Oh, that's a good idea.

That's good.

That's good.

Okay, hold on.

Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang

on, hang on, there's got to be

some--okay, here, here, here,

here, here.

Good idea.

Good idea.

Rub this on your neck.

Just put it on your neck.

Come on.

That's perfect.

You smell all right.

All right, dad, drive her

All right, dad, drive her

crazy.

Come on.

You look really handsome.

You look really handsome.

Good evening, sir.

Your table is ready.

Thank you.

You look absolutely beautiful.

You look absolutely beautiful.

Thanks for coming to dinner.

You're welcome.

And you look quite handsome

and you look quite handsome

yourself.

And is that Cologne?

Brand-new.

Got it out of a magazine.

Got it out of a magazine.

Welcome to chez Reed.

Oh, don't you two look cute?

Oh, don't you two look cute?

I know.

Here we have a lovely bottle of

here we have a lovely bottle of

wine.

Feel free to help yourselves

as I am underage and cannot

legally pour it for you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't mind if I do.

Your entrees are ready.

Grilled salmon, roasted

fingerling potatoes, and sauteed

fingerling potatoes, and sauteed

green beans.

Oh, my favorite.

See?

See?

I listen.

Monroe, this is incredibly

Monroe, this is incredibly

sweet of you, but it's going to

take more than a salmon dinner

to work out our problems.

To work out our problems.

Romance is not our problem.

I know I can be hard to take.

I know I can be hard to take.

And I know I haven't always been

the best listener.

I know that.

But if you give me another

but if you give me another

chance, I promise you I can

change.

Change.

This is the first time you've

ever said anything like that

ever said anything like that

to me.

It's because I mean it.

And I am willing to work on all

and I am willing to work on all

of our issues if you are willing

to work on them with me.

To work on them with me.

I'm certainly willing to try,

I'm certainly willing to try,

especially since you smell so

nice tonight, Monroe.

Mm...

Travel safely.

I'm so glad you guys came.

Uh, we better hit the road

Uh, we better hit the road

before it gets too late.

All I want is some open road

ahead of me and my chick at my

side.

I mean, my lady.

Oh, no.

I like "chick."

Hey, kids, come say good-bye

Hey, kids, come say good-bye

to your grandparents.

So it looks like you guys are

going to be all right.

Oh, yeah, we're going to be

just fine.

Just fine.

Oh, yeah, we decided to

compromise on the trip, sell the

r.v., go to Italy like your

mother always wanted to do.

Oh, my goodness, that sounds

Oh, my goodness, that sounds

like so much fun.

You guys have to take pictures.

But please, please don't put

them on any t-shirts.

Them on any t-shirts.

We're going to miss you guys.

Oh, we're going to miss you

too.

But, before we go, we decided to

but, before we go, we decided to

get you some going-away

presents.

Awesome.

We picked up some books for

you.

You.

Wait, what, no t-shirts?

No, let me guess.

Books on t-shirts?

No, just books we thought

No, just books we thought

you'd like.

This is for you.

Mm, five easy steps to

building monster muscle mass.

Building monster muscle mass.

'Cause we know you've been

working out.

Ah, well, thank you.

I'm going to go get buffer now.

You'll get...

[Growls]

[Growls]

And for you.

Oh, okay.

Environmental activism

from "a" to "z."

Thank you, granddad.

Thank you, granddad.

Thank you, grandma.

And for you.

A kitty calendar!

Your daddy told me you wanted

a cat.

A cat.

Oh, this way, sweetie, you

get to get a different cat every

month.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This'll have to do for now.

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