Original subtitles

Ah, very nice on the picture

frame, Lexi.

Frame, Lexi.

Looks very pretty.

I am going to put

my report card in it

and give it to you

so you can put it

so you can put it

on your desk.

Oh, so that means you are

expecting a good report card.

Yes, and I'm going to let

you keep it.

You keep it.

Ha-ha, well, thank you.

You know, your first school

report card is a pretty big

deal.

Really?

Really?

If I do well,

can we celebrate with a cat?

[Chuckles]

You already have a gerbil.

I know, but gerbil's can't

have kittens.

Uh, sorry.

No cat for you, sweet stuff.

Okay, we'll talk about it

Okay, we'll talk about it

later.

So do adults get report cards?

Uh, not exactly.

Uh, not exactly.

I mean, sometimes you get

evaluations on your job,

and you can always ask a boss

or a coworker for feedback.

Or a coworker for feedback.

But nothing you can put

in a frame?

Not really.

Ah, but you know, I do get

ratings from my students online,

ratings from my students online,

and I'll have you know that

I've been ranked as a top

professor in my department

for the last five years.

For the last five years.

When you were my teacher,

I gave you all a-plus-pluses.

Oh, and that's exactly

Oh, and that's exactly

what my college students

give me too.

Check that out.

"Dr. Reed is awesome.

"Dr. Reed is awesome.

His podcasts are always

informative and interactive."

Hmm.

"I love Dr. Reed's teaching

style."

Ooh, look at that one.

"He has a gorgeous smile."

Well, you know, it's supposed

to just be about my teaching,

to just be about my teaching,

but what can you do?

Ah.

"Dr. Reed takes himself

and his material way too

and his material way too

seriously."

"He is a pompous..."

Daddy, I can't say that word.

[Funky music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

So last week we talked

So last week we talked

about your opinion of yourself.

You mean my low self-esteem.

Okay.

And so how did our talk

and so how did our talk

affect your week?

I think I'm making progress.

Really?

I heard channel 35

is looking for a weather girl,

so I got up the courage

and I submitted a tape.

Wow.

You know, I remember you telling

you know, I remember you telling

me about how you used to love

to do the weathercast

on your way to school

when you were a kid.

That's right.

I wanted to be the female

I wanted to be the female

al roker,

after the lap band, though.

Of course.

Of course.

So it sounds like you're

starting to take some chances

starting to take some chances

maybe that you wouldn't have

taken in the past.

Yeah.

Problem is,

problem is,

I got the job.

Why is that a problem?

Because I'm terrified.

What if I screw up?

What if I screw up?

Well, why do you think

you're gonna screw up, jentry?

I don't know.

I guess my mom's voice

is stuck in my head.

You know, she never expects me

you know, she never expects me

to do anything right.

We've had this conversation.

We've been down this road,

haven't we?

Just because your mom

Just because your mom

installed the buttons does not

mean you have to push them.

I know, I know.

But I can't help it.

But I can't help it.

Maybe I'm just a little nervous.

That makes sense.

I mean, you're taking a big

leap here.

Leap here.

So let's talk this through.

One of the ways that you can

calm yourself down is to focus

your attention on something

your attention on something

other than what is making you

scared.

So you could sing to yourself.

You could do some deep breathing

you could do some deep breathing

exercises.

You could even do a little

dance.

I love dancing.

I dance all the time.

I dance all the time.

Well, that's perfect.

So if you get a little nervous

before you go on the air,

do a little dance.

Do a little dance.

Will that work in any

situation?

Because when I leave here,

I have to go see my mom.

Ooh, gosh, that's a tough

one.

One.

But you know what the good news

is?

We have 20 more minutes

that we can talk about that.

Settle in.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Uh, professor?

Uh, professor?

Wife here.

Waiting for a kiss.

Waiting for a kiss.

[Makes smacking sounds]

Hi.

Oh, sorry, baby.

Hey.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

One of my students going

by the screen name

"verbo scribe 248"

gave me a bad review.

Gave me a bad review.

Really?

Yeah, look at that.

Huh.

Wow.

Wow.

Oh, well.

What's for dinner?

Despair.

Despair.

Alex, what are you talking

about?

It's one review.

Yeah, but what if the things

on this website are true?

On this website are true?

What if I am pompous?

What if these vituperative

statements have basis in fact?

Okay, I don't even know

Okay, I don't even know

what that means, but, Alex,

that comment was written

by a sleep-deprived

by a sleep-deprived

overstimulated undergrad.

So, I mean, don't let one bad

comment spin you out.

Comment spin you out.

Well...

Oh, look.

Look at this.

What?

Come on, look.

Come on, look.

Alex, the very next comment

says, "Dr. Reed is fair

and impartial.

His command of early 20th

century authors is astounding."

Century authors is astounding."

And that was written today.

Babe, come on.

You are making way too big a

deal of this.

No, Carla, you don't

understand.

People don't always remember

the positive.

But they will always remember

the negative.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Look.

Look right there.

What?

Michelle sink just gave

a thumbs up to the original

comment.

You know what that means?

You know what that means?

What?

That means she agreed with

it.

Pretty soon other people

are gonna agree with it.

Then other people are gonna

agree with the people who agree.

Agree with the people who agree.

This is spreading like wildfire.

Wildfire, Alex?

Really?

Okay, come on.

Okay, come on.

What?

Alex, you are a great

teacher, and you have gotten

years, years of great reviews.

Years, years of great reviews.

Yeah, until now.

Dad, I'm playing surgeon,

but I need somebody to operate

but I need somebody to operate

on.

[Chuckles]

[Sighs] All right, babe.

I'll play surgeon with you

in a little while.

In a little while.

You okay, daddy?

Are you still upset about

what that mean person said

about you?

Just a little bit, honey.

Just a little bit, honey.

But you know what?

I will get over it,

and then I will come

and play surgeon in a little

bit.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm going to go scrub in.

[Laughs]

Hey, honey.

Hey, honey.

Hey.

I made my love a treat,

feel better brownies.

Fresh out of the oven.

Fresh out of the oven.

Are you serious?

You really bake?

Yeah.

I mean, I know I'm no chef,

I mean, I know I'm no chef,

but even I can stir eggs

and water into powder for you.

Oh, you know what?

These even look good, babe.

These even look good, babe.

Aw.

[Gags]

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, are they too hot?

I left them in the microwave

too long.

Too long.

I mean, the oven.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, honey.

I just wanted to give you

a special surprise.

Ooh, and thank-ooh.

Ooh, and thank-ooh.

Oh, 'cause I think you're

the best husband in the world.

Mmm, t-tank-ooh.

Mmm, t-tank-ooh.

[Chuckles]

Oh, my gosh.

I'm gonna go put these

in the refrigerator.

Mmm, the freezer.

Mmm, the freezer.

Hi, dad.

Hey, kaci.

Um, hey.

Do you have any jazz

do you have any jazz

I can listen to?

When did you start

liking jazz?

Liking jazz?

You said jazz sounded like

two cats fighting

in a garbage truck.

That was when I was young

That was when I was young

and immature.

That was last week.

Okay, well, i--

I think it's time that

I think it's time that

I replace my hip-hop

and pop music

for something that's more

meaningful.

You know, before it starts

to negatively influence me.

To negatively influence me.

Besides,

I love what you love.

Okay.

My iPod is upstairs

on my dresser.

Thank you, dad.

I love you.

I--i love you, too, kaci.

I--i love you, too, kaci.

Hey.

[Clears throat]

[Clears throat]

Oh, Keenan.

Listen, man.

I know you're disappointed

you're not bulking up as fast

as you like, but I am not

as you like, but I am not

buying you steroids.

No.

No, dad.

See, I've been thinking about

following in your footsteps

following in your footsteps

and joining the wrestling team.

What was your wrestling name

back in college?

Alex.

Alex.

Well, then I'd be Alex ii.

Think you could show me

some of your old moves?

Some of your old moves?

What are you talking about?

You hate wrestling.

What's going on here?

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

No, you're wrong, father.

I love wrestling

and English literature

and the Harlem renaissance.

And the Harlem renaissance.

Yeah, and all that other stuff

you love.

I just want you to know

I just want you to know

that you have a friend in me.

Okay, buddy?

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Hi, daddy.

How are you feeling?

I'm not quite sure.

I'm not quite sure.

Well, just remember,

when you have bad feelings,

it's okay to cry.

It's okay to cry.

Even for a daddy.

Ah, okay.

I see what's going on here.

I see what's going on here.

Carla, kaci, Keenan,

come here, please.

Come here, please.

All right, so I got

Betty Crocker,

Ella Fitzgerald,

a wannabe wrestler,

a wannabe wrestler,

and baby Oprah telling me

it's okay to cry.

Look, I know what's going on

here, guys.

Alexis told us that you were

Alexis told us that you were

feeling kind of down,

so we wanted to cheer you up.

But we meant every word we said.

But we meant every word we said.

Um.

No, dad, I'm not gonna listen

to your jazz.

I still hate it.

I still hate it.

But I do love you.

We all love you, sweetie.

And we just wanted to help.

And we just wanted to help.

I got it.

All right, and thank you.

I want you to know that

I appreciate having a family

that would rally together

that would rally together

to support me when I am having

a pity party.

But you need to know that daddy

is okay.

Is okay.

Are you sure?

I think I make a good wrestler.

I think I make a good wrestler.

Well, you know, I saw your

last civics exam.

You need to go wrestle

a textbook.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

And that's what's happening

in Hollywood.

In Hollywood.

Now with the weather,

here's the newest member

of our news team, jentry Davies.

Um, Texas is still suffering

from its latest heat wave.

From its latest heat wave.

Expect showers in upstate

New York.

Oh.

New York is...

New York is...

New York is...

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

I said to dance before

I said to dance before

you went on camera.

Both: Hey.

Mwah.

See you later, baby.

Okay.

[Chuckles]

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

You have a good one.

No, you have a good one.

You're so silly.

[Giggles]

Oh, where are my keys?

Where are my keys?

Where are my keys?

Can't get anywhere without

my keys.

Oh, what the hell?

What's wrong, babe?

What's wrong, babe?

Virgo scribe 248

posted another comment.

Let's see.

"Did you see Dr. Reed's

"Did you see Dr. Reed's

last lecture?

I think he's the first man

to wear a skinny shirt."

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

That's awesome.

No, that's not funny.

It's not?

No, this thing is escalating,

Carla.

Look at all the people

who agree with that.

Who agree with that.

Okay.

Oh.

Oh, look at Virgo scribe

248's last post.

"I hate his pretentious beard.

"I hate his pretentious beard.

I bet he thinks he's socrates."

Well, baby, at least they

know who socrates is.

I got to find out who this

Virgo scribe 248 is

Virgo scribe 248 is

and figure out why he or she

is leaving these comments

about me.

Yeah, but what are you gonna

Yeah, but what are you gonna

do?

I mean, all you have

is a screen name.

I don't know.

I even responded

to the original post

trying to open up a dialogue.

Trying to open up a dialogue.

What happened?

[Chortles]

Comment number five

suggests how I should spend

my weekend.

My weekend.

Oh, please.

Nobody's that flexible.

Expect showers in upstate

New York.

[Laughing]

[Coughing]

Good morning,

Good morning,

Ms. Davies.

I will tell Dr. Reed

you are here.

You are here.

Ooh.

I--i, um...

[Coughs]

I got something caught in my--

I'm coughing and, um...

I'm coughing and, um...

Ay, lord, I'm lying.

I'm sorry.

I'm just gonna go cleanse.

[Breathes deeply]

[Breathes deeply]

Did you see me do the weather

the other night?

Yes.

Yes.

And my kids showed it

to me on their phone

the next morning.

Oh, great.

So they're a part of the

so they're a part of the

30,000 hits the TV station's

website got.

It was scary, huh?

How are you feeling now?

How are you feeling now?

Well, I tried one of the

techniques that we talked about.

It didn't go exactly as I

it didn't go exactly as I

planned.

I got a little upset,

but I'm okay now.

Yeah, that's right.

It's a little bump in the road.

It's a little bump in the road.

You can get past it.

Oh, no.

It was a big bump.

And I'm quitting.

Why?

Why?

I thought this was your big

break.

And I broke it.

I made a fool out of myself

I made a fool out of myself

in front of all of those people.

There's no way I can go back

on TV after that.

Well, it seems like your

worst fear came true,

worst fear came true,

and I can understand

why you're embarrassed, jentry.

But that doesn't mean that

shouldn't try again.

Shouldn't try again.

But what if it's even worse

next time.

Look, if you're afraid

to pursue what makes you happy

just because you might be

just because you might be

embarrassed, then maybe you

should just stay in your

apartment and never leave.

Sounds like a plan.

Sounds like a plan.

No, no, no, no.

No, jentry, it's not a plan.

If you don't resolve them,

your feelings are gonna follow

your feelings are gonna follow

you wherever you go.

Well, that's why I'm here.

Yeah, and therapy

is about progress,

is about progress,

not perfection.

I know.

Look, since we've been

seeing each other,

we have discovered that the core

we have discovered that the core

of your problems comes from

your mother's influence

on your self-esteem.

But your mom's in rehab,

but your mom's in rehab,

and you have your own apartment

now.

So it's about you, not her.

So it's about you, not her.

I guess you're right.

Really?

That's the motivational voice

you're gonna use?

You're gonna use?

I don't know.

[Chuckles]

Has there ever been anyone

positive in your life,

someone that's made you feel

good about yourself?

Good about yourself?

Yeah, my granny.

Perfect, your granny.

So I'm gonna try this.

[Clears throat]

[Clears throat]

"Jentry.

Jentry, you're beautiful.

You're--you're strong,

you're--you're strong,

you're an intelligent

young woman,

and you can do anything

that you put your mind to."

That you put your mind to."

[Laughing]

You're crazy.

"No, I'm not crazy, bubbela.

All right, I'm telling you,

all right, I'm telling you,

you can do it.

You can do the weather."

My granny doesn't sound

like that.

"Yeah, but you get the point,

don't you?"

Yeah.

"Yeah?

So stop your kvetching, honey,

so stop your kvetching, honey,

all right?

You know why?"

Because you can do this,

jentry.

You're fine.

You're fine.

You're right.

That's right.

Thank you, granny.

"You're welcome, honey."

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

Hey, guys.

Hey, babe.

Hey.

Hey.

Did you figure out who's posting

did you figure out who's posting

all those negative comments?

No, not yet.

You know, I started out trying

to match the linguistical

patterns of my students' papers

with the comments,

with the comments,

but I have over 100 students.

Would have taken me a year.

Yeah, that's insane.

Then he told me what he was

Then he told me what he was

trying to do, so I told him

I'd help him out with this hsi.

Hsi?

Hater scene investigation.

Hater scene investigation.

Oh.

First step is finding out

who Virgo scribe 248 is.

Who Virgo scribe 248 is.

Her first comment was posted

on the 15th.

Her?

I'm guessing it's a girl

I'm guessing it's a girl

because only girls put

their zodiac sign

as their screen names.

Really?

It's a fact.

It's a fact.

Oh.

You know, my literary

interpretation class

got their grade

on their first paper

on the 15th.

On the 15th.

Wait.

Her screen profile has no

contact information,

contact information,

so I can't find out

her real name.

Wait, unless--

unless, unless...

Unless, unless...

What are you doing?

Cross-referencing

her email address

to all the social network sites.

Oh.

Oh.

Then I copy.

Select.

Open.

Scroll down.

Scroll down.

Paste.

Bam.

Wow.

Virgo scribe's full profile

Virgo scribe's full profile

information.

Everything's open to the public

if you know where to look.

Wow.

Oh, my god.

Ariel Rogers.

Ariel Rogers.

Wait.

She's such a good student.

And she's your hater.

And she's your hater.

Want me to sabotage her

credit rating while I'm here?

No, that won't be necessary.

No, that won't be necessary.

Want me to improve yours?

No.

Well...

No.

No.

Hey, Keenan, man,

thank you, man.

No problem.

No problem.

[Clears throat]

How did you learn how to do

this?

My boy Vaughn.

Vaughn?

Okay, he's not coming back

in this house.

Ever.

Wow.

Wow.

That's crazy.

Wow.

So, babe, now that you've

tracked down that this is

Ariel, what are you gonna do?

Ariel, what are you gonna do?

Well, I'm gonna sit down

with her, have a conversation

so I can understand

what her problem is.

What her problem is.

Really?

Yeah.

Don't you think that's

a bit much?

What?

I mean, not everybody

has to like you, honey.

Has to like you, honey.

And why not?

No, no, I'm saying,

look, if I do a good job

professionally,

professionally,

plus I'm a cool dude personally,

what is there not to like?

Wow.

Wow, what?

Wow.

Wow.

That's a lot of ego talk, baby.

No, Carla, it has nothing

to do with ego, all right?

The point is, I want to get down

the point is, I want to get down

to the bottom of this,

and I am willing to bet

that this is just a huge

misunderstanding.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Well, if it isn't,

I am not making anymore

I am not making anymore

brownies.

Oh, well, that's okay,

because my tongue hasn't healed

from the last batch.

From the last batch.

[Both laugh]

Today's high will be 75

Today's high will be 75

and mid 80s this weekend.

So if you go outside,

don't forget to put on

your sunscreen

as you dance into the weekend.

As you dance into the weekend.

For channel 35 action news,

I'm jentry Davies.

I'm jentry Davies.

Oh.

I'm so proud of her.

I'm so proud of her.

Carla really helped a client.

Yes, she needs a little help

with the dance steps, though.

Next time she comes in,

next time she comes in,

I'm gonna lend her some of

my old dance fever tapes.

What?

What?

Deney terrio still sends me

birthday cards.

Sure, he does.

Darling, you don't know

my life.

My life.

You know, Ariel, I'm really

surprised that you were

surprised that you were

the one posting those

negative comments about me.

I don't get it.

You are a great student.

You are a great student.

What would make you do that?

Because I think it's true.

Really?

You really think I take

myself too seriously?

Myself too seriously?

You're here now, aren't you?

Well, I'm here now

because you made this thing

because you made this thing

personal.

Well, it is personal.

I just...

I just don't like you.

I just don't like you.

But what's there not

to like?

I mean, you get as

I mean, you get as

in my class.

No, the class is fine.

I love the subject matter.

I just don't like you.

I just don't like you.

So this has nothing to do

with my teaching

or my knowledge of the subject

matter?

No.

No.

Have I ever done anything

to you personally that

offended you or bothered you?

Look, professor Reed,

Look, professor Reed,

I just don't have to like

everybody.

You are absolutely right,

Ariel.

You do not have to like me.

You do not have to like me.

That's okay.

But that website

is for recommending professors

is for recommending professors

to other students,

not to trash them.

So I would appreciate it

if you would keep your personal

opinions to yourself.

Opinions to yourself.

You know what else

I don't like about you--

I really don't care.

Good day, Ms. Rogers.

Good day, Ms. Rogers.

Hey, hey, and hey.

Hey.

Wow.

Wow.

I haven't seen that smile

in a while.

What's going on?

Well, I...

Just checked the website,

and after my last podcast,

the positive comments

are just in abundance.

Are just in abundance.

Aw.

Congratulations, sweetie.

Mwah.

Thank you.

These are for you.

These are for you.

All of these?

Yeah, man, and this one.

Visa.

Discover.

What--

American express?

American express?

What?

"Because of the increase

in your credit score..."

In your credit score..."

Oh.

Both: Keenan!

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