Original subtitles

Oh, baked chicken and mixed

veggies again?

Why don't we hit that new

why don't we hit that new

Italian spot?

Well, that's a great

idea, Keenan.

You're treating, right?

Well, those veggies smell

so fresh.

Yeah, thought so.

How was your day, honey?

It was great.

Alexis and I are studying

Alexis and I are studying

geography, and just so you know,

your daughter knows all 50

states.

Wow.

And all their capitals.

Ooh.

Oh, that's so awesome,

Alexis.

I used to wish that dad would

homeschool me, but then I

would've missed today's field

trip.

Trip.

Figures you want to go to the

science museum.

You're such a nerd.

Thank you for giving me all the

cool genes.

Cool genes.

[Laughs]

Okay, I hate to break it to you,

but cool people don't really go

around saying they're cool.

Yeah, you don't hear me going

Yeah, you don't hear me going

around saying how cool I am.

[Laughs]

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you're waiting to hear us

say something, we're not.

Say something, we're not.

Do you guys like school?

I don't like the homework,

but school can be a lot of fun.

I get to hang out with my

peeps.

Peeps.

And you get to learn a lot

too.

And most of the field trips

are fun.

Daddy, I want peeps and field

Daddy, I want peeps and field

trips.

Can I go to school?

What are you talking about?

We go on field trips all the

time.

Yeah, but no peeps.

Well, Alexis, when you were

three, I took you to preschool,

and the first day of class, you

and the first day of class, you

told the teacher that the books

weren't challenging enough.

Do they have the same books?

I'm sure they've got

I'm sure they've got

different books now.

Then I want to try again.

Okay.

Okay.

Kaci, pass the potatoes.

Please.

[Smacks lips]

All right, thank you.

Well, Alexis, sweetie, if

you're sure you're ready, then

you're sure you're ready, then

daddy and I will look into it,

right, honey?

Yes, of course we will,

sweetie.

Sweetie.

I think that's--okay,

that's--

Okay, daddy?

That's enough potatoes.

Oh.

You gave me too much.

Okay.

Oh, dad.

Oh, dad.

It's okay. Just leave it.

Just leave it.

[Funky music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Take care, linwood.

I'll see you next week.

Ms. Helen, can you file

that for me, please?

That for me, please?

Sure.

Thank you s--

goodness.

[Phone rings]

Ms. Helen--

Doctor's office.

Doctor's office.

Oh, hello, Mrs. E.

Yes, I can move you to 3:00.

All right.

All right.

Well, I'll see you then.

All right. Bye-bye.

Both: Ms. Helen...

Both: Ms. Helen...

I need you t--

You never gave me the message

that my client Donna had her

baby.

Oh, my bad.

That's how the kids say it now.

That's how the kids say it now.

Yeah, a girl. A girl.

Hopefully she will not get her

father's forehead.

Father's forehead.

Hoo.

Hey, wait, wait.

Wait. Stop.

I forgot to give you this.

Okay.

What?

[Phone rings]

Yeah. Two.

Doctor's office.

There's two?

Yes.

Hi, Mr. King.

You know what?

She's just a little overwhelmed

she's just a little overwhelmed

this week.

Oh, you mean this month.

She forgets everything.

I already told her there's an

acupuncture technique that

increases the neoplasticity of

increases the neoplasticity of

the brain, but you know she's

afraid of needles.

Okay, see you then.

Thank you.

You are not sticking any needles

you are not sticking any needles

in my head.

[Phone rings]

Oh! Shh.

Doctor's office.

Doctor's office.

Okay, I need to do something

about this.

I think you should hire

an intern.

Carla, they're young and in

Carla, they're young and in

school so you don't have to pay

them much.

That's a really good idea.

But do you think Ms. Helen's

but do you think Ms. Helen's

gonna be offended?

Let's ask.

Okay. Hold, please.

Okay. Hold, please.

Line two.

Coral community college.

What's coral community

college?

It's where some of the other

offices in this building get

their interns from.

[Phone rings]

Oh.

Yeah, yeah.

Line two. Line two. Line two.

Okay, doctor's office.

Egypt.

Egypt.

Found it.

Ah, good job.

I am ramses the great.

I am ramses the great.

Can you please help me find my

wife?

If you were ramses ii, then

your wife is queen nefertari.

Ah, this is true.

Ah, this is true.

And what are my queen's titles?

Great of praises, lady of two

lands, and lady of grace.

Lands, and lady of grace.

Ah, very good.

Now, where is she?

In the valley of the queens.

In the valley of the queens.

She has the biggest, nicest tomb

of them all.

Ah, you are so wise.

Ah, you are so wise.

Come with me.

Give me your arm, and we will

give me your arm, and we will

start the process like so.

[Humming]

[Humming]

♪ ♪

Daddy--i mean, pharaoh.

Daddy--i mean, pharaoh.

Yes?

What are you doing?

I am making you into a mummy

so you can be a companion to my

so you can be a companion to my

wife.

Cool.

Only rich and important people

get to be mummies.

Get to be mummies.

Hello.

I'm Perry Anderson.

I was sent over from coral

community college.

Community college.

Oh, hello, I'm Dr. Carla

Reed.

This is Ms. Helen.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Here's my resume.

Here's my resume.

Oh, thank you.

Let's see.

Wow.

Oh.

Oh.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Okay, this resume is better than

the last five people put

together.

Together.

You know this is a student

internship, right?

It doesn't pay much.

Oh, that's fine with me.

Oh, that's fine with me.

I'm just finishing up night

school, and I could use the

experience.

Did I mention it doesn't pay

much?

You most certainly did.

You most certainly did.

[Laughing]

And it's still fine with me.

Oh, great.

Well, Ms. Helen, take a look.

Ooh, well, I have to say, i'm

glad you're a little older so I

glad you're a little older so I

don't have to worry about

training you like some

teenybopper who might come in

here with some flip-flops and

those half shirts.

Those half shirts.

[Laughing]

Oh, you don't like

half shirts?

I guess I better not take off my

jacket.

You better stop it.

You better stop it.

[Laughing]

I got a good feeling

about this one.

You do?

Yeah.

She does. Okay.

She does. Okay.

You just passed the toughest

test.

Ms. Helen, come on.

You are--come on, you're tough.

She's tough.

But, hey--you're--

but, hey--you're--

you're hired.

Great.

Aww.

How do you take your coffee?

Oh, my c--my coffee?

Oh, my c--my coffee?

Cream. One sugar.

And I'll just warm yours up.

Oh, thank you.

Um, the kitchen is that way.

Um, the kitchen is that way.

Nice.

Nice.

Come on.

No one ever gets me coffee.

Nobody ever gets me coffee

either.

Either.

Ladies.

Your schedules for tomorrow.

Oh, fantastic.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll have to thank Perry.

Well, how do you know Perry

did it?

I mean, what if it was

Ms. Helen?

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

Yeah, right.

Yeah, right.

That man is constantly

moving.

He completely restocked all of

my herbs.

I know, and you know what?

This lamp hasn't been working

this lamp hasn't been working

for three months.

Whoo.

Whoo.

[All laughing]

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, and, Perry, there you are.

Ay, that smells divine.

French roast.

You had it in the back.

You had it in the back.

Yeah, Ms. Helen only makes

instant.

Well, I don't know how to

work that elaborate machine you

bought.

Bought.

Cream. One sugar.

Oh, you're a dear.

And this.

Oh, what's this?

You mentioned earlier you

You mentioned earlier you

were trying to get your daughter

into gentilly prep.

Yeah, i--the curriculum would

be perfect for Alexis, but

unfortunately, they don't have

any more slots open.

Well, my boyfriend's aunt is

the principal's hairdresser, so

I asked her to pull some

strings...

Strings...

And hair, if she had to.

[Laughing]

Really?

Yes, she said to call her

directly to enroll Alexis.

Directly to enroll Alexis.

That's her number.

Oh...

[Squealing]

Perry, you're a magician.

Perry, you're a magician.

Thank you.

Seriously, Perry, you're

doing too much.

Ooh, yes, you are.

Ooh, yes, you are.

You should bring it down

a notch.

I mean, you know, we don't want

you to burn out.

Thanks, I'll pace myself.

Thanks, I'll pace myself.

Coffee?

Oh, no.

I prefer instant.

I prefer instant.

Oh, well, Perry, go ahead,

take that one.

Don't mind if I do.

Both: Cheers.

Both: Cheers.

Whoo-whoo.

Pig.

Are you for real, dad?

Are you for real, dad?

Since when do you let kaci lead

you by 20 points?

This is...

What up, everybody?

What up, everybody?

Alex, you got my text, right?

Come on, the new intern hooked

a sista up.

Holla at your girl.

Holla at your girl.

Mom, mom, mom.

Please don't talk like that

ever again.

Ever again.

Hey, kids, could you excuse

us, please?

But we're in the middle

of a game.

Of a game.

Uh, dad said we have to go.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, come on!

Well, you totally did that

'cause I was winning.

'Cause I was winning.

If that helps you sleep at

night, then believe it.

It's okay, kaci.

I was one turn away from

spelling "absquatulate."

Spelling "absquatulate."

Our dad's an English professor.

Our dad's an English professor.

Bye, smart one.

[Laughing]

Carla, what's going on?

Carla, what's going on?

I mean, when we spoke earlier,

you said there were no spots

available at gentilly prep.

Alex, wait, what's wrong?

I thought you'd be thrilled that

I thought you'd be thrilled that

we got Alexis into such a great

school.

I am.

It's just that it's so far into

the school year.

Suppose she can't keep up.

Suppose she can't keep up.

She's gonna be great.

I mean, 'cause she had an

amazing teacher at home, babe.

Yeah, but that's not the

Yeah, but that's not the

point.

I mean, I'm concerned about

exposing her to the dangers of

overcrowded classrooms; Angry,

overcrowded classrooms; Angry,

underpaid teachers; And what

about those high-fat lunches?

Alex, we're not sending her

to hell.

To hell.

We're talking about gentilly

prep.

I know, but think about the

sacrifices we have to make to

sacrifices we have to make to

afford this.

All right, we'll have to give up

our premium channels.

We won't be able to go out and

eat as much as we do.

Eat as much as we do.

You might even have to give up

your coffee.

Oh, I'm not doing that.

See?

Even you're not prepared for

even you're not prepared for

this.

Alex, I don't understand.

Yesterday you seemed okay

yesterday you seemed okay

with it.

I mean, I never would have

enrolled her if I thought we

weren't in agreement.

It's just that Alexis gets

It's just that Alexis gets

interested in things, you know?

Remember that time she wanted a

pet dolphin?

[Laughs]

And you explained to her that

And you explained to her that

we didn't have an ocean in the

backyard and that it wouldn't be

fair to the dolphin and that we

would never have enough mackerel

would never have enough mackerel

to feed it.

She didn't care.

She still wanted one.

So then I told her that for her

fifth birthday, she can have

one.

And when that time came around,

what happened?

What happened?

She completely forgot.

Exactly.

I was just kind of hoping this

would be the same thing.

Would be the same thing.

Oh.

Well...

How we gonna handle this?

How we gonna handle this?

We're gonna tell her she got

enrolled into a great new

school, and I'll just have to

roll with it.

Roll with it.

This package needs to go out

right away.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll handle it.

Oh, thank you, Perry.

[Phone rings]

Doctor's office.

Perry speaking.

Perry speaking.

How can I help you?

Oh. Uh-huh.

Oh, she's right here, so let

me--

oh. Oh. Oh. Okay.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay.

Yeah, I'll tell her.

Who was that?

Your husband.

He said school didn't work out

he said school didn't work out

the way he planned, so he took

Alexis to the zoo.

What?

Man, that was a good time,

I would say.

How was the zoo?

It was nice, mommy.

It was nice, mommy.

We got to see--

That's really good, sweetie.

Can you let daddy and I talk?

I want to hear about all of the

I want to hear about all of the

rest of it later, okay?

Uh, okay.

Okay.

Rarr.

[Laughing] Go upstairs.

[Laughing] Go upstairs.

See you later, sweetheart.

[Sighs]

The zoo?

Really, Alex?

Really, Alex?

I mean, I knew this was gonna be

hard on you, but I really

thought you were gonna follow

through with what we agreed to.

I did.

I did.

She's the one who didn't want to

go to school.

[Scoffs] Yeah, right.

She changed her mind that

quickly after she was so excited

about going?

About going?

As a matter of fact, yes,

she did.

Look, I took her to school,

and she asked who's gonna be

and she asked who's gonna be

there.

I told her other kids.

And when she asked me to sit

down with her, I told her I

wasn't staying, and she

freaked out.

I mean, I have not seen her cry

I mean, I have not seen her cry

like that since that time the

tooth fairy forgot about her,

remember?

Alex, it's not funny.

Alex, it's not funny.

[Sobbing] Actually, it...

Kind of...Was.

So you just let her call the

shots, and you took her to the

shots, and you took her to the

zoo?

Carla, I am not going to make

my daughter do something she

doesn't want to do, especially

doesn't want to do, especially

when I don't want her to do it.

Alex, she's seven.

Of course she's scared.

Of course she's scared.

I mean, but a child has to face

their fears in order to grow.

And you just fueled the fear

and you just fueled the fear

that she has of school.

Carla.

What?

Do me a favor.

No.

Just lis--stop.

Take your psychologist hat off

take your psychologist hat off

for a second, and just be a mom.

[Groans]

All right?

Now, can you honestly tell me

you would not have done the same

you would not have done the same

thing I did if you were in my

situation?

[Both growling]

I would have taken her to

I would have taken her to

the zoo.

Thank you.

But, Alex, I mean...

But, Alex, I mean...

Babe, come on.

This is what's best for her.

I mean, homeschooling is great,

I mean, homeschooling is great,

but Alexis is such a social

child, and she needs to be

child, and she needs to be

around other kids her own age,

and there's some things that you

just can't teach her at home.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Come on, Carla.

I mean, you know how much I love

teaching her.

I know.

All right?

All right?

You know how much the time we

spend together means to me.

I've been home with her

practically her entire life.

Practically her entire life.

I know.

I love you for loving her so

I love you for loving her so

much.

I do.

You being involved in her life

you being involved in her life

is why she's such a confident

child.

But, Alex, another way for

but, Alex, another way for

Alexis to develop into the

bright and independent young

woman that we want her to be is

woman that we want her to be is

for her to grow into a world

where daddy's not always around.

Where daddy's not always around.

All right.

Okay.

Fine.

I'll make her go to school

tomorrow.

But just for the record, daddy's

but just for the record, daddy's

always gonna be around.

Mm-hmm.

I have to tell you another one.

I have to tell you another one.

Excuse me, do you two have

a moment?

Of course, Perry, come on in.

Mm-hmm, we were just talking

about how pleased we are with

your work.

You are the best thing that's

happened to this office.

I hope that means you'll

consider giving me a full-time

position.

Oh, Perry, I'm sorry,

Oh, Perry, I'm sorry,

I thought I made it clear when

I hired you.

There isn't one available.

Yeah, not unless you want

Yeah, not unless you want

Ms. Helen's job.

Actually...

I do.

Just hear me out.

You are both smart, dynamic

you are both smart, dynamic

women with growing businesses.

When you think "Ms. Helen,"

do you think "cutting edge"?

Not unless I'm thinking about

Not unless I'm thinking about

her tongue.

You need an office manager

who is innovative, motivated,

who is innovative, motivated,

and communication-savvy.

I am more efficient and more

qualified.

And, let's face it,

better dressed.

Come on.

I mean, that is a nice tie.

I mean, that is a nice tie.

What?

And your talents are really

impressive, but Ms. Helen has

worked at this office since

before I bought it.

Before I bought it.

Well, maybe it's time she

retired.

Wha--

I understand if you need

some time to think it over.

Uh, actually, no, Perry.

Uh, actually, no, Perry.

I don't need any time to think

it over.

I'm gonna have to let you go.

I'm gonna have to let you go.

You're kidding.

No.

You're not?

No.

No.

I mean, she's not.

I mean, Ms. Helen may not be

the fastest typist or have the

the fastest typist or have the

friendliest phone manners, and

she has no sense of boundaries--

Honey, we're supposed to be

telling him why we love her.

Oh, exactly, and you know why

Oh, exactly, and you know why

we love her?

Because she's loyal and

dependable, and she tells me the

truth even when I don't want

to hear it.

To hear it.

And she's not sneaky.

Mm-mm.

I hate sneaky.

I'm not being sneaky.

This is business.

This is business.

And so is this.

Buena suerte.

I guess I'm more on top of it

than you realized, sport.

Than you realized, sport.

Thank you.

Ms. Helen, no thanks

necessary.

Necessary.

I mean, come on, we're not just

coworkers.

We're family.

Well, that's exactly how I

feel.

Feel.

I am gonna miss the coffee.

Well, he left a fresh pot.

If you get some, I'll take

a cup.

Ah, there she is.

Alexis, how was your first day

of school?

Of school?

Mom, don't. Don't.

First day of school.

How was it?

It was the worst day

of my life.

[Crying]

It'll be okay, sweetheart.

[Crying]

[Crying]

Sweetheart, it's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

Come here. It's okay.

I can't take any more

of this.

She's been acting like this

she's been acting like this

since we picked her up.

Yeah, I can't either.

Good luck.

Good luck.

It's okay, sweetie.

It's okay.

Alexis, tell your mother what

happened today.

I didn't know anybody, and

the teacher wouldn't let me take

off my shoes.

Daddy, my feet were hot.

Daddy, my feet were hot.

Aww.

I know, pumpkin.

Nobody likes having hot feet.

Mm-mm.

Mm-mm.

So did you at least make

friends today?

No one would talk to me.

Then this one boy teased me

about liking hamsters.

About liking hamsters.

You didn't tell me about any

hamsters.

There's one in class, and if

you finish your work, you go

you finish your work, you go

play with robespierre.

Who's that? Who's that?

Robespierre was a guy in the

French revolution.

They called him the

incorruptible.

Oh.

Today we learned how they

chopped off his head.

He was a victim of the climate

he was a victim of the climate

he created.

Oh, goodness, he was?

And if he was a victim of his

own revolution, that would also

own revolution, that would also

be called what?

Irony. Duh.

So you learned about the

French revolution today.

French revolution today.

A little.

I'm not going back to school to

see how it ended.

Well, sweetheart, just

Well, sweetheart, just

because you don't like it

doesn't mean you're not gonna go

back anymore.

Hey, Carla, can I talk to

Hey, Carla, can I talk to

Alexis for a bit?

Sure. Okay.

Now, sweetie, you got to stop

crying, okay?

Crying, okay?

You know why?

Because if you don't,

your face...[Sobs]

Might get...

Stuck like this...[Sobbing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love you.

I love you.

Mwah!

Mwah!

So what else happened in

school today?

Well, we had reading, then

Well, we had reading, then

spelling, then lunch, then

recess, and then we did math,

and I raised my hand a lot.

And I raised my hand a lot.

You did?

I knew all the answers.

Of course you knew all the

answers.

And it sounds like, if you gave

and it sounds like, if you gave

school a chance, you might

kind of like it.

I like staying here with you.

You don't like change either.

You don't like change either.

What makes you say that?

You looked sad when mommy

said I was going to school.

Said I was going to school.

That's because I was sad.

But you know, I'm also gonna be

sad when you go away to college.

Sad when you go away to college.

I'm gonna be sad when you go on

your first date at 35.

Your first date at 35.

And I'm gonna be sad when you

get married and leave me

forever.

But it's gonna be important that

but it's gonna be important that

you do these things.

Maybe not the leave me forever

part.

Part.

But it's all a part

of growing up.

And change is--change is a part

of life.

And that's okay.

And that's okay.

I love you, daddy.

And that better never change.

And that better never change.

Alexis.

Yes, daddy?

Yes, daddy?

You're hurting my hand.

Sorry.

It's okay, sweetheart.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

Hey, Mr. Guillory.

Hi, Dr. Reed.

Hi, Dr. Reed.

Listen, Alexis was having a

hard time yesterday, so I was

wondering if I can stick

around for a little bit just

until she adjusts.

Until she adjusts.

She seems to be doing

pretty well.

Pretty well.

I think your little girl is

gonna be just fine.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

You might want to watch out for

her, though.

Ugh. Thanks, Dr. Reed.

That's enough.

That's enough.

Daddy, wait.

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