Original subtitles

Okay, breakfast is served.

Keenan, are you sure you don't

want any?

Nope, I ate too many of

those cookies you baked last

night, so now I'm watching my

carbs so I can stay in shape.

Carbs so I can stay in shape.

Mmm.

Ooh, something smells good.

Oh, well, that would be

French toast and homemade apple

French toast and homemade apple

syrup.

Would you like some?

Oui, oui, monsieur.

Oh, but you know what?

Oh, but you know what?

I'm running late, so I'll just

settle for some cold French

roast and a...A real apple.

Roast and a...A real apple.

[Laughs]

French toast me later?

What does that mean?

Probably something nasty.

Probably something nasty.

Hey, drink your shake.

Yep, it's something nasty.

Oh, hey, you're using the

Oh, hey, you're using the

vase that I found at the garage

sale.

Oh, well, it was just laying

there, so I decided to put

something in it.

Is that some more nasty talk?

Is that some more nasty talk?

Okay, you guys, don't worry

yourself of any nasty talk,

okay, and just have a good day

at school.

I love you.

[Together] Love you too.

[Together] Love you too.

I love you too.

There you go.

Muah!

Thank you.

[Laughter]

Oh, what I the world?

Oh, what I the world?

Oh, there's a crack in it.

Seal it with some syrup.

Seal it with some syrup.

Which one of you did this?

[Together] Not me.

None of you cracked this

vase?

[Together] Nope.

[Together] Nope.

This vase just cracked

itself?

Maybe mom cracked it.

No, she would have told me

about it, which is something

none of you are doing.

None of you are doing.

Maybe it's a magical vase.

Ooh, maybe there's a genie

inside.

Inside.

Yeah, rub it, dad.

I am the genie of the vase.

I will Grant you a few wishes.

I will Grant you a few wishes.

Well, my wish would be that

my kids stop playing around

and tell me who broke this vase.

Aha!

Aha!

None of them.

Two wishes left.

Don't waste them, buddy.

Don't waste them, buddy.

You know what?

My second wish is that my kids

happily accept their punishment

for not telling me who broke the

for not telling me who broke the

vase.

Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh-heh.

Wait. We're punished?

Oh, well, that doesn't sound

Oh, well, that doesn't sound

very happy.

Finish your breakfast,

because after school, you're all

grounded until one of you comes

clean.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Funky music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

And how does that make you

And how does that make you

feel?

She doesn't care what I feel.

Mm-hmm.

If I didn't care, then why

are we even here?

Are we even here?

The day that I stop caring is

when this whole thing crumbles

apart.

There you go being dramatic

There you go being dramatic

again.

Dramatic?

Are you kidding me?

Dramatic?

I am not dramatic.

I am not dramatic.

Am I dramatic?

Well, i--

Ugh.

Okay.

You know what?

I want all of your crap out of

I want all of your crap out of

the house by tomorrow.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Okay, well, no one really

Okay, well, no one really

feels fine now, do they?

Okay, let's just--can we sit

back down?

Back down?

[Sighs]

Thank you.

Very good.

Now, we have acknowledged some

now, we have acknowledged some

feelings today, and this

relationship is gonna take some

work, and I can't guarantee that

work, and I can't guarantee that

it's gonna be all fun,

but I am willing to dive in and

work through these issues

work through these issues

together if you are.

Don?

Fine.

Fine.

Okay, we'll come back

tomorrow.

What?

What?

Don, this is important.

Besides, I hardly get to see

you.

Sherri, this is not a date,

Sherri, this is not a date,

baby.

This is therapy.

Why is it so quiet?

Yes, it is quiet, isn't it?

Yes, it is quiet, isn't it?

[Laughs] Yes.

Where are the kids?

They are upstairs grounded.

They are upstairs grounded.

One of them cracked a vase in

the kitchen, but if I knew it

would result in this kind of

quiet, they'd be grounded all

quiet, they'd be grounded all

the time.

Wait a minute.

So you punished all of them.

Yes, I did, just until one of

them breaks down and confesses.

Them breaks down and confesses.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh, and which one exactly

do you think did it?

Well, I'm not quite sure, but

Well, I'm not quite sure, but

after I'm done, one of them will

sing like a canary.

Mm-hmm.

Well, you know what the bonus

well, you know what the bonus

is?

Yes, I do, but do you know?

Oh, no, I know.

Yeah?

Yeah, because we get this

Yeah, because we get this

living room back to ourselves.

Exactly.

See?

Mm-hmm.

See, that's why I married

you.

Yeah?

Yeah, 'cause you're so

brilliant.

Wow, that's the only reason

you married me?

No.

I also needed some help with

I also needed some help with

these kids.

That's not funny.

No, it's funny.

No, that's not funny.

No, that's not funny.

Okay, we're gonna be

grounded forever unless one of

us confesses.

Alexis?

Alexis?

Why me?

Because you're the little

one, and you can get over with

your cuteness, so your

punishment won't be so bad.

Punishment won't be so bad.

Mm, no.

Kaci?

Kaci?

I didn't crack the vase.

I'm not saying you did, but

you always fly under the radar

and do your dirt while I get in

and do your dirt while I get in

trouble, so this time, take one

for the team.

No.

No.

Why don't you just confess?

Because first of all, I

didn't do it.

And secondly, snitching on

and secondly, snitching on

yourself is just dumb.

I know, but we have to do

something.

I mean, this is serious.

He went straight to the, "you

he went straight to the, "you

can't use anything with a

screen," punishment.

I know, and that's the worst

one.

What?

What?

Not for you.

You don't even own anything with

a screen.

Hey, tvs have screens,

so that means no victorious

so that means no victorious

for me.

You don't know my pain.

Touche.

Wait, but if we didn't do it,

Wait, but if we didn't do it,

then who did?

Maybe dad, and this is all a

Maybe dad, and this is all a

diversion.

No, that's just dumb.

Then mommy.

No, she would have just

thrown it away.

Thrown it away.

All right, then, if it's

neither one of them, that means

one of us is lying.

Let's come up with a

strategy, a strategy so that you

strategy, a strategy so that you

both feel understood, heard, and

loved.

Loved.

Well, I would certainly feel

more loved if we got to spend

more time together.

Well, okay, that's an honest

Well, okay, that's an honest

request.

Don?

I will look at my schedule,

and I will make sure that

there's always time for you.

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

How do you feel about that?

Well, that's better than I've

been getting.

Wait, now, Don, you

Wait, now, Don, you

understand how important

spending time together is to

sherri.

It sounds like you're not making

it sounds like you're not making

yourself completely available.

Is there something--something

that's holding you back?

Well, sherri understands that

Well, sherri understands that

I still have to deal with

stuff at home: My kids, my wife.

I mean, there's only 24 hours

in a day.

Right, I understand, so...

Right, I understand, so...

I'm sorry, your wife?

Don's married.

Oh, I understand the

Oh, I understand the

confusion.

Sherri's not my wife.

She's my girlfriend.

She's my girlfriend.

Sherri...Don.

Sherri...Don.

You two aren't married, so...

You two aren't married, so...

You're having an affair?

If that's what you want to

call it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What would you call it?

It's a relationship.

I know, some people think it's

wrong, but--

Okay, let's just--let's just

Okay, let's just--let's just

put right and wrong aside for a

second here.

Okay, the fact is that Don is in

a relationship with someone

a relationship with someone

else.

Which has nothing to do with

me.

I see.

I see.

Okay, so let me ask you, Don,

okay, so let me ask you, Don,

does your marriage deserve your

full attention?

Dr. Reed, my wife and I are

like brother and sister.

Like brother and sister.

We only stay together for the

kids.

I mean, the passion's been long

gone.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, and would your wife say

the same thing?

The same thing?

I don't know what she would

say, but the heart wants what it

wants.

But, Dr. Reed, sherri and I, we

but, Dr. Reed, sherri and I, we

came here to talk about us.

And how many kids do you and

sherri have together?

None.

None.

Oh, but you do have kids,

right?

Yes, two with my wife.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, about her...

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, about her...

You do understand that your wife

and kids are a part of this

and kids are a part of this

relationship, and that all the

time you spend with sherri takes

you away from your family.

Like going to the gym, going

Like going to the gym, going

to work, spending time with

friends.

Spending time with me

is no different than that time.

Is no different than that time.

Is that true, Don?

Is spending time with sherri

like going to the gym?

Like going to the gym?

On a good day.

We be goin' all day.

Okay, yes.

Okay, I got you.

Okay, I got you.

So, Don, you say that the heart

wants what the heart wants.

What about your kids' hearts,

what about your kids' hearts,

Don?

I mean, just picture yourself as

a seven-year-old, you know, a

little seven-year-old just

waiting for your daddy to come

waiting for your daddy to come

home and take you to the puppet

show.

That would never happen.

I hate puppets.

They creepy.

They creepy.

Stay with me, Don.

Every Saturday, your dad takes

you to a puppet show in the

park, and it is amazing, okay?

And then all of a sudden, he

and then all of a sudden, he

starts seeing another woman, and

then on Saturdays, he's, "got to

go to the gym," so you don't see

him anymore.

Where's daddy?

I don't know where daddy is?

I don't know where daddy is?

But I'm gonna go to my room,

and I'm gonna "make my own

little pudding and fudge sock

puppets by myself."

Yeah, but I can't do the voices.

I can't do them, okay?

So it's just a waste of time.

Oh.

I think this is all the time

I think this is all the time

we have, so I am gonna see you

two in our next session, okay?

So have a wonderful afternoon,

so have a wonderful afternoon,

Don and sherri.

All right, I'm giving you

another chance.

Another chance.

Confess now, and your punishment

won't be too harsh.

But it's already harsh.

Okay, well, in addition to

Okay, well, in addition to

being banned from using anything

with a screen, each one of you

will copy the dictionary

will copy the dictionary

until one of you confesses.

That's not fair.

Can I use a children's

Can I use a children's

dictionary?

You want to lie like you're

grown?

You copy a grown-folks book.

Man, this sucks.

Man, this sucks.

Would you like me to add

more?

No, sir.

Well, let's go, chop-chop.

Well, let's go, chop-chop.

Let's get to copying.

Hey.

How was drinks with Gabby?

Oh, it was fine.

Oh, it was fine.

I just discovered mojitos.

Oh, congratulations.

Oh, congratulations.

You're sort of like Christopher

Columbus.

You just discovered something

that thousands of people already

that thousands of people already

knew about.

Ugh.

You want to tell me what's

going on?

Going on?

It's a moral dilemma.

I'm torn.

There is a couple that i'm

seeing that's having an affair.

Seeing that's having an affair.

Wow.

Well, that's not a good area for

you.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm fine, okay.

They are the ones that are

they are the ones that are

clueless about how damaging

infidelity is.

I mean, they don't even seem to

I mean, they don't even seem to

realize how this may be

affecting the other people in

their lives.

They're nuts.

Whoa, "nuts."

Whoa, "nuts."

Is that in your professional

opinion?

Oh, please, Alex.

Come on.

I'm at home, okay?

I'm at home, okay?

I can be honest.

These people are horrible.

They want me to help them weave

their tapestry of lies.

It is a can of worms.

It is a can of worms.

Let me ask you this:

When you were talking to them,

were you talking to them as Dr.

Reed, the psychologist, or Carla

Reed, the psychologist, or Carla

Reed, the woman.

In the office, I am always

Dr. Reed--Dr. Reed.

Really?

Yes.

Yes.

Okay, well, I keep hearing

about infidelity, lies, nuts.

Is it too far-fetched, or

is it too far-fetched, or

could this have anything to do

with your dad?

With your dad?

Maybe.

Mm.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

Mm-hmm.

Possibly my dad cheating on

Possibly my dad cheating on

my mom could have skewed my

objectivity.

Right, could have or did?

Okay, it did.

Okay, it did.

I mean, but how could it not?

Alex, our home was never the

Alex, our home was never the

same after that man destroyed

our family.

I know, babe, but we're

talking about two separate

talking about two separate

issues here.

I mean, one is professional.

One is personal.

Now, the thing you have to ask

yourself is, did you bring your

yourself is, did you bring your

personal baggage into their

session?

Thbbbt.

Yeah, thbbbt.

Yeah, thbbbt.

You don't have to answer it.

Just--it's just something to

think about.

Okay, I'm gonna think about

it.

It.

Okay, and I'm gonna be right

back.

No, please, babe.

Where are you going?

I'm going in to warm up some

dinner for you, because you need

dinner for you, because you need

some food to soak up that

liquor.

I'll be right back, babe.

Hey, so what letter are you

up to?

I'm still in the as.

I'm still in the as.

Mm, let me see.

Oh, honey, you're just copying

oh, honey, you're just copying

the words and the definitions.

I also want phonetic spellings.

So sorry.

You've got to start over.

You've got to start over.

Okay, okay, I did it.

I cracked the vase, okay?

I cracked the vase, okay?

I won't watch TV.

I won't use the computer.

I won't use my cell phone.

Just, please, no more spelling.

Just, please, no more spelling.

All right,

spill it.

Spill it.

Well, after I went to bed,

I really couldn't stop thinking

I really couldn't stop thinking

about those cookies you baked,

so I waited until everyone was

asleep, and I snuck into the

kitchen.

Kitchen.

I got some milk and one cookie

from the jar and--

Uh, one?

Okay, four.

Okay, four.

I sat at the table, and I

started eating them, but then I

thought I heard someone coming,

thought I heard someone coming,

so I jumped up, and when I did,

I knocked over the vase.

So I picked it up, and I ran

into the den.

Into the den.

I'm sorry I lied.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Me too.

You know, you could have just

told me, kaci.

And now, you are grounded for

lying and for making Keenan

lying and for making Keenan

and Alexis suffer along with

you.

But I'm glad you finally

confessed.

Now, go to bed.

Now, go to bed.

My hand is starting to cramp

up like you wouldn't believe.

I give up.

I give up.

Nothing is worth this.

You win.

You broke a brother down.

I cracked the vase.

I cracked the vase.

You did?

Yes.

I know I should have said

I know I should have said

something sooner,

but I really thought you'd just

let it go.

I mean, come on.

It's just a vase.

It's just a vase.

Well, that's not the point,

Keenan.

It's about taking responsibility

for your actions.

And that's what I'm doing

now, so am I still punished?

Now, so am I still punished?

Yes.

But out of curiosity,

but out of curiosity,

how is it that you came to crack

the vase?

Well,

Well,

I couldn't get any sleep last

night, so I decided to come in

the kitchen to get some extra

studying done.

Studying done.

Stop.

Okay, I wanted some cookies.

But as I went in, I saw the door

but as I went in, I saw the door

to the living room move, so I

jumped and knocked over the

vase, but as I went to go pick

it up, I noticed a cookie was on

it up, I noticed a cookie was on

the floor, so I ate it.

That's just nasty.

That's just nasty.

They were delicious.

So I grabbed a few more from the

jar, took a swig of milk, and

then left.

Wait, you drank from the

Wait, you drank from the

carton?

Come on, dad.

I poured it in a glass.

Go to bed.

All right.

Daddy, can we talk?

Daddy, can we talk?

Let me guess.

You cracked the vase.

How'd you know?

How'd you know?

Wait, you really did crack

it?

No.

Alexis, come back here.

You just said you--

Okay, okay, yes, I did.

Okay, okay, yes, I did.

I snuck into the kitchen, poured

myself a glass of milk, then

went to get a cookie.

Went to get a cookie.

But there were none left, so

I poured the milk back into the

I poured the milk back into the

carton.

You did what?

I didn't want to waste it.

But as I poured the milk back

but as I poured the milk back

into the carton, I spilled some,

and as I cleaned it up,

and as I cleaned it up,

I knocked over the vase.

Keenan and kaci, come in

Keenan and kaci, come in

here.

The three of you just confessed

to the same crime.

To the same crime.

Wait.

These two confessed to cracking

the vase?

Yes.

Well, I didn't do it.

Well, I didn't do it.

Too late.

Now, come on.

Which one of you really did it?

None of us did it.

Then why would you confess to

Then why would you confess to

something you didn't do?

Most prisoners confess to

crimes they didn't commit under

stressful conditions.

Take medieval england or the

take medieval england or the

Spanish inquisition.

I am loving my history class.

I am loving my history class.

So it's true.

None of you really broke it,

huh?

[Together] No.

[Together] No.

Okay, I believe you.

You all can go to bed.

You all can go to bed.

Go to bed?

So that's it, just go to bed?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What do you mean?

Well, dad, if you're saying

that you believe us, then you're

also acknowledging that we told

you the truth from the start,

you the truth from the start,

which means that you punished us

for totally no reason.

Hey, she's right.

Hey, she's right.

Okay, I acknowledge I was

wrong.

Really, dad?

An acknowledgment?

That's not an apology.

Wait.

Let's talk about the fact that

the three of you just lied to me

the three of you just lied to me

about breaking the vase.

Well, I guess we're not

getting our apology.

[Laughs] Okay, I was wrong.

I apologize.

Wow, I never thought I'd hear

Wow, I never thought I'd hear

that, but I don't know.

It just doesn't feel like it's

enough.

Mm.

Maybe dad should copy some

Maybe dad should copy some

pages out of the dictionary.

No, no, the encyclopedia.

No, no.

No, no.

I think you guys better get

upstairs and stop pressing your

luck.

I guess we'll always have,

I guess we'll always have,

"I apologize, huh-huh."

You want to keep copying the

dictionary?

No. No, I do not.

No. No, I do not.

So who did crack this thing?

Good morning, Ms. Helen.

Oh, good morning.

I stopped at a garage sale on

my way to work, and look what I

found.

Found.

Isn't that cute?

Oh, it's adorable.

I love it.

[Phone rings]

Hello.

Hello.

Actually, yes, I would love to

hear about how I can save on my

hear about how I can save on my

Internet and cable services.

[Snickers]

But how is that bundle gonna

but how is that bundle gonna

save me any money?

Nuh-uh.

Come on.

It sounds like you're just

putting all my bills together

putting all my bills together

and calling it one bill...

On the same bill.

Ohh, okay.

Ohh, okay.

Yeah, I could do that.

Yeah.

So if I pay you $6.99, how much

do I get free?

Do I get free?

Mm-hmm.

Oh...

Don.

I--i wasn't expect to see you

sitting in my office when I

sitting in my office when I

wasn't in here.

Well, ain't that something

else?

Else?

Please, sit down, please.

How may I help you?

How may I help you?

I owe you an apology.

I know your time is valuable,

but I thought this is something

we should discuss face-to-face.

We should discuss face-to-face.

Actually, I owe you an

apology.

No, it's my fault.

No, it's my fault.

I mean, you can't expect a

doctor to help you if you don't

tell her all the symptoms,

right?

[Laughs]

I appreciate that.

I do, but, Don, I'm gonna have

I do, but, Don, I'm gonna have

to refer you and sherri to a

different therapist.

I'm not seeing sherri

anymore.

Oh.

And I thought about what you

said.

I'm still afraid of puppets,

but I did get the point of your

story.

You know, all my friends have

always condoned my relationship

with sherri, but you're the only

person that's called me on my

person that's called me on my

stuff.

And I was thinking,

I need a woman like that I my

life.

So I was wondering,

so I was wondering,

maybe dinner sometime,

drinks?

Drinks?

How can I put this to you,

Don?

You need some help.

Just not mine.

Just not mine.

Best of luck to you.

Is that a no?

That's a no.

That's a no.

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