Original subtitles

If you could have any

superpower, what would it be?

The ability to make you

The ability to make you

shut up.

I'd want to fly.

But I guess it would depend

but I guess it would depend

on how fast I could go.

I wonder how high I could fly.

And how funny would it be

and how funny would it be

if I could fly, but only really

slow and just a few feet

off the ground?

So which part of "shut"

So which part of "shut"

and "up" didn't you

quite understand?

Why you all uptight?

I'm just stressed about this

I'm just stressed about this

exam tomorrow.

What exam?

The same one you're taking,

social studies.

That's tomorrow?

That's tomorrow?

What, you forgot?

But how could you forget?

Unlike some people,

I have a life.

I have a life.

Oh, right, yeah,

reading comic books and thinking

of the worst superpowers ever,

captain lame-o.

Captain lame-o.

[Chuckles]

Oh, no.

Oh, no, I'm so screwed.

Oh, no, I'm so screwed.

Da-da-da-daahhhh.

Da-da-da-daahhhh.

Introducing miss Alexis Reed,

introducing miss Alexis Reed,

home student of Dr. Alex Reed.

The state of New York says that

the state of New York says that

she has met or exceeded all

of the requirements to advance

to the second grade.

To the second grade.

Ho, ho.

Congratulations, Alexis.

[Exploding noise]

[Exploding noise]

Ah, ha, ha.

Boom, boom--

It's a sister thing.

You just wouldn't understand.

You just wouldn't understand.

Wow.

Yeah.

Wow, mommy.

You wouldn't want to do

that anyway.

No. Okay.

So we're going out to

So we're going out to

celebrate for some ice cream

and sorbet.

You guys want to come?

Uh-huh, unless--

unless you have been goofing off

unless you have been goofing off

instead of doing your work.

[Scoffs] How you gonna act

like we're not responsible

teenagers?

Uh, I'm gonna act like

Uh, I'm gonna act like

a mother who knows her kids.

Now, do you need to get

some work done or not?

Well, no, I've been studying

since we've gotten back from

school, so I could use a break.

School, so I could use a break.

Both: All right.

What about you, Keenan?

I'm all bleary-eyed from

the studying I've been doing.

The studying I've been doing.

Yeah, I could use a break too.

I don't know, man.

Your eyes look pretty clear

to me.

To me.

[Laughs] Last chance

to come clean, man.

If I was any cleaner,

I'd be you.

[Laughs]

Wow, okay.

Wow, okay.

That was convincing.

That was convincing.

[Funky music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, I see.

Uh, Ms. Helen.

Uh, Ms. Helen.

[Laughing] Could you just

excuse me for a minute?

You see me on this phone,

you see me on this phone,

don't you?

Well, look.

You have the wrong number,

you have the wrong number,

but I do hope those things

work out for you and the kids.

God bless.

God bless.

Now, how can I help you,

miss Jim-enez?

It's "hi-men-ez," Ms. Helen.

It's "hi-men-ez," Ms. Helen.

I wanted to know if--

Just--

how may I help you?

How may I help you?

Hasting and constance

mcdunough for Dr. Reed.

Oh, she's expecting you.

Yes, right this way.

Yes, right this way.

Follow me.

But I have to say, you two

but I have to say, you two

make a beautiful couple.

I hope Dr. Reed can really help

you all work things out.

You all work things out.

We're brother and sister.

I do not judge.

Dr. Reed,

your 10:00 A.M. is here.

Ah, thank you so much.

You can send them in.

You can send them in.

Hi, there.

I'm Dr. Reed. Hi.

Hi.

How are you?

You must be

Mr. and Mrs. Mcdunough.

Ms. Mcdunough.

Ms. Mcdunough.

I've yet to find a suitable

suitor for me to wed.

What my charming sister is

saying is, she hasn't met a man

saying is, she hasn't met a man

who can afford her.

Oh, so is that why

you scheduled a consultation?

No, we're concerned about

No, we're concerned about

our dear mother.

Lately, she hasn't

been herself.

We're trying to get

power of attorney and move her

into an assisted

into an assisted

living facility.

Our mother

has considerable wealth.

The way she's been acting

lately--forgetting things, not

lately--forgetting things, not

eating, sometimes even hearing

voices--has us very concerned.

We don't want someone

to take advantage of her.

To take advantage of her.

It sounds like

you need a physician.

Oh, we have that

base covered.

Oh.

But in order for us to be

executors of her estate,

executors of her estate,

we need to have her mentally

assessed as well and then bring

our findings to the courts.

Of course you do.

Of course you do.

Well, okay, then.

I will need a list of any

I will need a list of any

prescription medications that

your mother is taking, and you

can schedule another appointment

with my receptionist

with my receptionist

out in the front, that

lovely lady that you just met.

You got it.

Okay.

Okay.

Is there anyone else involved,

any siblings, your father?

We have no other siblings.

We have no other siblings.

And our dear father passed

away some time ago.

Oh.

Bagpipe accident.

Bagpipe accident.

I see.

Did you get any

Did you get any

studying done?

You know me, homey.

Yeah, exactly.

So did you get any studying done

or not?

Or not?

No.

I tried, but after all that

ice cream, I just fell asleep.

Well, why didn't you just

tell mom and dad you needed

more time to study?

More time to study?

If they found out I was being

irresponsible, they'd never

trust me alone again.

Right.

So--so what do you think is

so--so what do you think is

gonna happen when they find out

you failed this test?

Unlike your attempt

at a "cool" hairstyle,

at a "cool" hairstyle,

failure is not an option.

Well, it's gonna be really

hard to see my hair

from a coffin,

from a coffin,

'cause dad is going to kill you.

[Bell ringing]

Good morning, class.

Books away.

Books away.

Today is the day of your

social studies midterm exam.

I hope you all studied.

Take one. Pass it back.

Take one. Pass it back.

'Sup, Elise?

Ready for this?

I bet you are.

I bet you are.

You're so smart.

I mean, you got an "a"

last time, right?

Last time, right?

Ooh.

Ooh.

No!

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

[In German accent] No, no.

You are doing it all wrong.

Lo siento, chef.

Lo siento, chef.

You must whip the potatoes

like so.

Whip. Whip.

Oh.

Whip.

[In Spanish accent] Oh, yes.

I don't know if I will ever

be able to do it

as good as you, sir.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Well, there's only one way

to find out.

Ooh.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

Oh-oh?

Oh-oh?

You know, i'm--

You know, i'm--

Oh-oh?

Not quite feeling

this scenario, babe.

You?

No, I just don't know

what to build on.

What to build on.

I mean, are you

the lecherous chef?

Am I throwing myself at you

for an "a"?

For an "a"?

I just--honestly, Alex, we have

done so much better than this.

Yeah, yeah, we have.

[Sighs] All right,

how about...

How about video Vixen

and dirty south rapper?

And dirty south rapper?

We do that all the time.

I know, I know.

I just couldn't think of

anything else.

Maybe we need something

a little more grounded.

A little more grounded.

How about I play the rapper?

Hmm?

And you play...

[Rapping] The lawyer trying to

get me out of jail, yo.

Get me out of jail, yo.

Whoop.

Yeah, that has potential.

[Both laughing]

Don't laugh at me.

Don't laugh at me.

What, yo?

[Laughing] Hello?

[Laughing] Hello?

Hey, Ms. Lawson.

Hey, Ms. Lawson.

Okay.

All right, uh, yeah.

We'll see you in the morning.

We'll see you in the morning.

Why is the twins' teacher

calling you?

Well, 'cause she thinks

the boy twin cheated on an exam.

Well, this doesn't make

any sense.

Keenan is so smart.

Why would he cheat?

Yeah, Keenan's smart, but

don't forget, he's also lazy.

He probably didn't study.

You think? Nah.

You think? Nah.

Well, [chuckling] It is Keenan.

You know what?

You want to talk to him,

and I'll do the yelling?

Or you do the yelling,

and I'll do the talking?

How you want to do this?

You know, let's not say

You know, let's not say

anything to him just yet.

What?

Come on, he cheated on a test.

We don't want to confront him?

I want to see what's going on

I want to see what's going on

with him before we confront him.

All right, fine.

But what time are you going

to see his teacher tomorrow?

Because I'll change my schedule.

Because I'll change my schedule.

No, babe, you don't have to

change anything.

I can handle it.

All right, fine.

I won't change anything, but we

need to talk to him so we can

need to talk to him so we can

get to the bottom of this now.

Look, the one thing I've

learned from teaching college

kids is, if you confront them

kids is, if you confront them

directly, they're just gonna

deny it.

Not to mention, if Keenan did

cheat, it'll just give him

a whole night to come up with

a cover story.

Hmm, you got a point there.

God, you are such a hot daddy,

especially when you're planning

a sting operation.

A sting operation.

I love you too, hot mama.

Both: Mm.

So then we moved from

So then we moved from

n'awlins to New York.

Boy, talk about

a change of pace.

A change of pace.

The food here is

positively horrible.

I'd give my left arm

for a crawfish po'boy.

For a crawfish po'boy.

[Laughing]

New yorkers tend to not crave

shellfish found in swamps.

[Both laughing]

[Both laughing]

Then they don't know

what they're missing.

I'll take some spicy mudbugs

and a cold beer over that fancy

and a cold beer over that fancy

stuff any day.

I swear, I could sit here and

listen to you forever.

Aw.

But I have to ask you,

why do you think you're here?

Why do you think you're here?

Well, they just want to make

me look crazy.

That way, they can put me away

and take my money.

And take my money.

They've always been

greedy children.

Maybe they're genuinely

concerned about you.

Concerned about you.

Do you have children?

I do.

When they're young, they need

you for everything.

Heck, they're afraid to make

heck, they're afraid to make

a move without you.

But the older they get,

the less they need you.

The less they need you.

Oh, they won't even hang around

for you to make their

favorite meal.

All they need you for is money.

All they need you for is money.

Sadly, my children

are at that point.

Gosh, I'm so sorry

you feel that way.

You feel that way.

Well, unfortunately,

we need to stop.

I--I'd really like to see you

i--I'd really like to see you

and your children later today,

maybe around 6:00.

Would that work for you?

Well, I'll ask them to check

their blackberries

their blackberries

for their availability.

What's wrong with a calendar?

I don't know.

[Laughs] Hey, by the way,

[Laughs] Hey, by the way,

you should check out Irene's

in Harlem.

They have the best crawfish

in town.

I'll be the judge of that.

I'm just sayin'.

Those people know their swamps.

Those people know their swamps.

[Both laughing]

Good-bye.

Bye.

Bye.

These answers are identical.

Mm-hmm.

Elise got a 92,

Elise got a 92,

and Keenan got a 13?

Whoa.

Whoa.

You handed out different tests.

Exactly.

And I think Keenan copied the

and I think Keenan copied the

young lady's test next to him,

assuming it was the same exam.

Does he know yet?

Nope, I was waiting

Nope, I was waiting

for you to get here.

[Chuckles] This is great.

All right, do me a favor.

Let me tell him.

Just follow my lead.

Just follow my lead.

Dr. Reed, are you asking me

to conspire with you to teach

a teenager a lesson?

Yes.

[Whispers] I'm so in.

[Whispers] I'm so in.

Keenan, can you come in, please?

Keenan, can you come in, please?

Yeah.

Hey, dad.

When you offered to walk me

to class, I thought you were

to class, I thought you were

just being nice.

I didn't know you wanted to

chop it up with Ms. Lawson.

Mm-hmm, that's an interesting

choice of vernacular

you used, son.

Because it looks like you were

chopping up your education.

A 13?

A 13?

Are you serious?

Did you even open

a textbook, Keenan?

I-i-i did. I promise.

Really?

Really?

So when it asked,

"who was the Roman emperor

who converted to christianity

and effectively ended

polytheism," your answer,

polytheism," your answer,

"500 miles,"

made perfect sense to you?

Made perfect sense to you?

I'm bad with names.

I'm gonna ask you this one

time and one time only, Keenan.

Time and one time only, Keenan.

Did you cheat?

Dad, maybe I'm not as good

Dad, maybe I'm not as good

as you think I am.

I mean, you and mom always put

pressure on me to be as smart

as you, but maybe I'm not.

As you, but maybe I'm not.

You're right.

Yeah, your mother and I have set

yeah, your mother and I have set

our expectations way too high

for you.

Ms. Lawson, are there any

programs we can put Keenan into

that can help him?

There is

the g.R.A.S.S. Program.

Whoa, whoa, that's--

that's for slow kids.

It's for kids that are

struggling academically.

Struggling academically.

And call me silly,

but 13 out of 100 sounds like

a struggle.

A struggle.

Unless of course there's

a reason you did so poorly.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Thank you for helping me, papa.

Thank you.

Have you been drinking?

Have you been drinking?

No.

Ms. Helen, I've decided to

release all of the negative

emotions I've been harboring

emotions I've been harboring

towards you.

Did you get that from one

of these little hippie books

you read?

They're self-help books,

Ms. Helen.

Ms. Helen.

I may be an acupuncturist,

but I'm also a seeker

of inner peace.

Ugh.

Well, is it released yet?

Well, is it released yet?

You know, the more you talk,

the more negativity you emit.

And the more you emit, the more

I have to release.

I have to release.

So you're saying that

if I stop talking,

you will let me go?

Precisely.

Precisely.

Did you just sniff my neck?

Ms. Helen.

Ms. Helen.

This isn't over.

Good evening, the mcdunoughs

are here to see--

Dr. Reed.

I haven't forgotten you,

I haven't forgotten you,

Richie rich.

Is she always this pleasant?

You don't know the half,

but I'm working on it.

But I'm working on it.

The doctor will see you now.

I'm glad you could all

I'm glad you could all

be here.

Is this gonna take long?

I'm having dinner with some

friends, and I detest tardiness.

Friends, and I detest tardiness.

Okay, then I'll be quick.

I'm not signing these papers.

I'm not signing these papers.

Both: What?

Thank you, Dr. Stein.

Mother, her name is Dr. Reed.

Mother, her name is Dr. Reed.

Who's Dr. Reed?

I am.

I knew that.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Where's the restroom?

It is out the door, and

make a left by the elevators.

Your mother is fine.

You can't be serious.

You can't be serious.

I don't know what your

physician found, but I didn't

find anything abnormal.

Then you need to look harder.

Why are you so pressed to get

power of attorney over her?

Frankly, I don't think

she's capable of taking care

of herself.

Of herself.

Based on what?

Abrazame.

Where's the restroom?

Where's the restroom?

Oh, right down the hall.

Why don't you stop it?

I do not want to hug you.

¿porque no?

You afraid you'll stop

taking digs at me?

Where's the restroom?

Oh, you didn't see it?

Oh, you didn't see it?

See what?

The bathroom?

I'm fine, thank you.

Uh, you should get Carla.

Uh, you should get Carla.

[Elevator bell dings]

Ma'am, are you okay?

There are way too many people

in this stall.

[Knocking]

[Knocking]

Now that I have more

information, it appears

that your mother has

sundowners syndrome.

It's a condition where

she's lucid during the day,

but as the day goes on,

she starts to lose

her mental faculties.

That's positively tragic.

That's positively tragic.

Now, if you'll just sign these

papers, my sister and I will be

out of your hair.

Out of your hair.

I'm not signing these papers.

Oh, get off your high horse

and sign the damn papers.

In my professional opinion,

your mother should be

in assisted living.

In assisted living.

From what I see, she should also

be around people who care.

That is just

my personal opinion.

My personal opinion.

Spare us your

moral platitudes.

I will sign something,

I will sign something,

but it will be limited

power of attorney.

That way, during the day,

she can maintain control

over her life.

And then at night,

I'm recommending that you

have control.

Unfortunately, that's after

banking hours.

Banking hours.

We'll reword the documents.

You do that.

You do that.

Good afternoon,

beautiful Reed ladies.

Thanks for the ride home,

dad, but I could have caught

the bus with kaci.

Oh, I don't know, Keenan.

You might have wandered onto

the wrong bus and started

the wrong bus and started

talking to strangers.

Dad, Keenan's smart enough

to know what bus to get on.

Well, I thought so too,

Well, I thought so too,

sweetie, but today Keenan

informed me that he might make

a mistake like that,

and I just want to

keep him safe.

Keep him safe.

Okay, you're the daddy.

Is it okay if I make

a sandwich before we eat dinner?

A sandwich before we eat dinner?

I'm starving.

Sure, but let me make it

for you, son.

I want to keep you away

from sharp objects.

So now I'm too stupid

So now I'm too stupid

to use a knife?

Well, you're too stupid

to know Clay pots didn't

end polytheism.

Okay, you know what?

Keenan, I'm tired of this.

Keenan, I'm tired of this.

Girls, go upstairs.

Go!

Alexis and kaci, go to your room

right now.

Right now.

I can't believe you.

Literally--stand up.

Literally--stand up.

There is clear and absolute

evidence that you cheated

on that test.

And then you want to go

and lie about it?

And lie about it?

And your father tried to give

you time to confess, and then

just listening to you right now,

I can't stand the fact that you

I can't stand the fact that you

don't respect your father and I

enough to be honest.

Enough to be honest.

Okay, I cheated.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Now, I thought

that confession

would be enough for me,

would be enough for me,

but I am leaving this kitchen

right now so that someone

doesn't get hurt.

Doesn't get hurt.

Never seen her

that upset before.

That's because you still

don't see this

don't see this

as a big deal, Keenan.

The things you do as a teenager

set you up for who you'll be

as an adult.

As an adult.

And you lied.

And that's something you know

we don't tolerate in this house.

We don't tolerate in this house.

So why didn't you just tell us

the truth?

I don't know.

Wow.

Wow.

"I don't know."

Hmm, well, there you go.

Here I was, wasting my time,

thinking you didn't have a good

thinking you didn't have a good

answer, but you didn't know.

Well, let's get to something

you might know.

Here.

Here.

What is this?

That's your test.

I don't--

I don't understand.

You're taking this test

You're taking this test

for me.

Now go.

There you go.

A 65?

A 65?

Wait, are you using

the same answer key?

Keenan,

I'm a college professor.

I know the answers

I know the answers

to a ninth grade

multiple-choice history test.

Well, that's what

I'm talking about.

I'm talking about.

A 65, and she gave me a 13.

She gave you the grade

you worked for.

You worked for.

You know why this means so much

to me, Keenan?

Because you have such

a natural talent.

Your sister gets good grades

your sister gets good grades

because she busts her butt.

You have the ability to roll out

of bed and at least get a "b,"

but you chose to be lazy.

But you chose to be lazy.

And that has got to stop.

Trust me.

I know how smart you are.

I know how smart you are.

So which is better,

admitting you're unprepared

admitting you're unprepared

or cheating?

Admitting you're unprepared.

Wrong.

Doing your homework and getting

the grade you deserve.

The grade you deserve.

And I want you to remember

that from this day forward,

that's your only choice.

Those other two are out.

Those other two are out.

Hey--hey, dad.

Hey--hey, dad.

I'm sorry.

I know.

I know.

Come here.

Now, you know you got to stop

this foolishness, right?

This foolishness, right?

I love you.

I love you too.

Now do me a favor.

Now do me a favor.

Go upstairs and apologize

to your mother.

I'm scared.

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

Trust me.

It'll make her day.

All right.

All right.

He's grounded,

and you took his comic books?

No, actually, he heard me

and he gave them up because

and he gave them up because

he knew they would distract him.

Ooh.

Yeah.

That's good.

So what are you doing,

so what are you doing,

remembering your

comic book days?

Yep.

Tell me, what do you think

about those thigh-high boots?

About those thigh-high boots?

Ooh, yeah.

Can I get a lasso?

Can I get spurs?

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

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