Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute

Narrator: The concrete jungle.

Deep within its seemingly endless towers--glass, steel, and mortar--life exists.

Large, colorful, metallic herds vie for position

on its main thoroughfares

as many different life forms fill its walkways

with constant activity.

But our story takes us to the outskirts of this harsh environment,

outside, to a more docile setting.

Here, more timid creatures live and work among one another

in smaller dwellings.

One dwelling in particular has captured our attention,

for deep within its barriers a discovery has been made,

a discovery of a creature living in somewhat secret seclusion

within towering artificial walls and barriers

of flashing brilliance and display--

none of which has been seen anywhere else in the world--

built with skillful hands and a greater knowledge.

Yes, within this sterile environment

lives a new class of creature: Dexterius homogenius.

Although pale from lack of exposure to the sun,

we've appropriately dubbed him "blackfoot."

Full of peculiar habits, we follow blackfoot

on a typical day of activity, intrigue, and adventure.

After years of close study,

one habit in particular

has eluded our reasoning as to why:

The repetitive motion

of this strange ritual,

which can last for hours at a time,

is perhaps an inherited genetic defect.

Amazing...

We must keep a safe distance from blackfoot,

for there is always that element of danger.

[Screaming]

See how blackfoot's meticulous preparation

leads into some ritualistic song and dance.

His high-pitched chanting can be heard

echoing into the far reaches of his lair,

evoking rain or good fortune--

or perhaps the spirits themselves.

Blackfoot's ritual comes to an abrupt end.

Motionless, he lies there in an ecstatic state for hours.

Amazing.

One of the most intriguing qualities of this little guy

is his ability to procreate.

In the flash of an instant his task is done,

after which he goes into a hail

of self-appreciating grunts.

Awoo awoo awoooo!

Narrator: And now, thanks to the marvels of modern technology,

we are able to slow down this amazing process

and see firsthand how he achieves this incredible feat.

[Drill whines]

[Whirring]

Amazing...

But lo, blackfoot's excitement won't last long,

for unbeknownst to him, somewhere in his domain

lurks the master of camouflage,

the wizard of stealth and ever-present foe to his creations,

deedicus deedicus,

whom we have affectionately dubbed "slim."

With great agility and speed,

she approaches her target...

Eeeee!

Using a high-pitched squeal to render blackfoot helpless.

Slim makes her way to blackfoot's amazing creation,

and with the same speed and accuracy of blackfoot himself...

Destroys it.

Amazing...

Again with the aid of modern technology,

we may see just how this deed is accomplished

time and time again.

Amazing...

The only time blackfoot leaves the safety of his lair

is to forage for food.

With an opportunity of great size in sight,

blackfoot takes his chance.

Nearly upon his meal,

blackfoot is knocked out of the running

by larger, more agile creatures,

who go at the act of eating in a gruesome, animalistic manner.

Oh, I can't watch!

[Gobbling]

[Gobbling]

[Slurp]

[Gobbling]

Yes, it is common for the smaller and weaker creatures

to be left out of a meal.

Left only with scraps,

blackfoot searches for even a tiny morsel...

But to no avail.

Defeated and hungry, blackfoot returns

to the sanctity and solitude of his lair.

Hygiene also plays an important role

in blackfoot's agenda.

See how he removes his outer protective layer,

exposing his pale underlayer.

Once in the water,

blackfoot captures a nearby creature

and squeezes a thick secretion from its head,

which he works into a fine lather.

See also how he cleanses the rest of his body

with a foreign object,

paying special attention to the details.

Hey, that tickles.

Unfortunately, before we could witness this event further,

blackfoot discovered us.

Sensing danger, blackfoot makes a run for it.

Realizing we may lose track of blackfoot, we give chase,

and have no alternative but to tranquilize him...

Thus putting an end to our research for now.

For someday we shall return

to check up on this wonderful creature,

this wonderful world

of blackfoot.

Man: My yob is simple--

after their designated hours of their education,

the children exit to return home,

while I clean,

sweep,

and prepare their environment for the next day of education

in sterile surroundings.

For I am yani the yanitor.

It is an uncomplicated yob that leaves me much time after

to spend with my beloved wife.

But one children continues to complicate situation and torture.

[Deep-voiced laughter]

Night after night, he stays much time past designated hours.

And when he decides to go,

he leaves a residue of filth that prolongs me from my beloved

for several more hours--

and when I return home, my love is taking her slumber,

and waking her would be catastrophical.

So I wait and I plan,

until the day that he would need to exit quickly

for something important--

for then I will have him...

[Ringing]

Yessiree, working here

is much more peaceful than

being at home with Dee Dee.

Working late again, Dexter?

Yes, sir, yani.

I'll be burning the midnight oil tonight, for sure.

[Beeps]

Heh heh--will you excuse me, please?

Sure, Dexter. No problem.

Huh? An emergency action message?

Computer: Dexter, Dee Dee has located

the curbo-comic laser Cannon.

Probability of lab destruction is 99--

[static]

Oh, my gosh! I have to get home immediately!

Gotcha!

I can't believe Dee Dee's got the Cannon.

Well, it shouldn't be too hard

to stop her.

Why did the stupid janitor lock the door?

Yani on P.A.: It's always the yanitor who is stupid--

huh, Dexter?

Aah! Who said that?

Why, it's your pal yani, Dexter.

Why did you lock the door?

Oh, I just wanted to make sure

that you don't get disturbed working tonight.

Oh, thank you, but I'll be leaving early tonight.

No, Dexter, I don't think you understand.

You're staying here--

forever!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Hmm. The janitor has gone crazy

and locked me in,

Dee Dee is destroying the lab at home--

what am I gonna do?

Doors locked--

windows barred in--

security camera is watching my every move--

fire alarm--

heh heh heh heh. Vengeance is sweet.

[Ringing]

Uh-oh.

Yes, yes! Dexter, you are a genius.

Open up in there!

Hey, how's it going?

No problem here.

I'm the yanitor.

Yust a glitch in the system.

Roger that.

So, Dexter, you thought you can play trick on yani--

but it is yani who will be playing the tricks tonight.

Eh, Dexter?

[Gasp]

Yani: Ho ho ho! Dexter,

the firemen couldn't find the fire,

but I think things will start to heat up for you.

Owee! Ow! Owoo! Owee ow!

Whoa!

Aah!

Ow! Ooh! Eee!

Agh! Ooh! Aah!

[Panting]

Yani: So, are you too hot, Dexter?

Well, let me cool you down a little.

No!

Ow! Ooh! Eee! Agh! Aah!

Yani: Going up?

Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Aaaaagh!

Yani: Going down.

[Buzzing]

Perfect.

What the--?

Hello, Dexter.

What are you, crazy or something?

No, Dexter!

I want you to feel the pain that I feel

when you make me stay late every night!

What?

Here you go, Dexter.

There's the exit.

Go home.

Aah!

[Crunching]

Aah!

[Growls]

Yes, yes!

That is the pain inside my heart.

Aah!

Yes, Dexter, yes! You're almost there.

Oops. Too late!

So, smarty pants--

what do you say now?

Clean up this mess.

[Growls]

Yani!

Liebchen.

Do notliebchen

I wait every night for you to come home,

thinking that you're working hard--

but here I find you

goofing around with friends!

But--

no.

Not another word.

You coming home...

But--

now!

You, boy-- open door!

Heh heh, yes. Ma'am.

Come, yani.

But-- come!

Boy, the holidays sure do make people

do the craziest things.

[Whistlingjingle bells ]

Hey, puppet pal clem--

why don't we pass the time

by singing a song?

Ok, puppet pal Mitch.

That sounds like fun.

Ok. Here goes.

♪ 99 bottles of bonk on the wall ♪

♪ 99 bottles of bonk ♪

♪ take one down, pass it around ♪

♪ 98 bottles of bonk on the wall ♪

♪ 11 bottles of bonk on the wall ♪

♪ 11 bottles of bonk ♪

[Woozy babble]

♪ 10 bottles of bonk on the wall ♪

[Ticking]

[Ringing]

Dexter, my boy,

you are a genius.

Dexter, my boy,

you are a genius.

Exactly.

Dexter: Dexter has the most brilliant mind

in the entire universe.

Dexter has the most brilliant mind

in the entire universe.

Dexter's fantastic creations

are the envy of

all of the world!

Dexter's fantastic creations are the envy

of all the world!

[Sigh]

Not only that,

but, man, his secret laboratory

is the best secret laboratory of all time.

Not only that, but, man,

his secret laboratory

is the best secret laboratory of all time.

My sister Dee Dee is a very stupid girl.

My sister Dee Dee is a very stupid girl.

I finally invented someone

I can have an intelligent conversation with.

I am only sad

that I did not think of it sooner.

[Alarm]

Dee Dee: Ooh! What do these buttons do?

No, Dee Dee! Stop!

Don't touch anything!

I'm gonna bop you one, Dee Dee.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ooh, what's that?

Get out, Dee Dee!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Oooooh!

Ooooooooh!

Dexter: Oh, Dee Dee...

Cookie!

[Whistling]

[Whistling]

[Sniff sniff]

It always puts me in a reasonable mood

to see her go through the door like that.

Dee Dee: Ooh, what's that?

Dee Dee, how many times must I tell you...

What do these buttons do?

Dexter's a stupid girl.

No, no, no.

Dexter is the most brilliant mind

in the entire universe.

Dexter's a cookie.

I am not a cookie!

Dexter's a cookie.

Am not!

Are too a cookie.

I'm gonna bop you one, girl.

Cookie!

Good riddance.

That had to be my worst invention yet.

Yup, that's a big'UN.

Yup, yup.

That's a big'UN for the Florida everglades.

Next we'll cover worms and plastic minnows.

Yup, yup.

Who's trying to sneak up on me?

Dexter, boy genius.

Dexter the cookie.

Shh. I'm trying to watch my show.

I'm gonna bop you.

Now, that is no way to talk to your--

you are stupid girl.

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Yup, yup, yup.

Don't touch anything!

I-I'm sorry.

You're a cookie!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

All right. Let's see...

I'll need two eggs...

Hmm. One stick of butter...

Half a cup of sugar...

A pinch of cinnamon...

A cup of cinnamon.

A cup of cinnamon.

A quart of pepper.

A quart of pepper.

A box of olives.

A box of peppers.

Yup, yup, yup.

Mom: A block of cheese.

Parrot: A block of cheese.

A gallon of milk.

A gallon of milk.

Are you sneaking up on me?

A cup of coffee.

A cup of coffee.

Beans.

Beans.

Cookies!

Cookies!

Worms and plastic minnows.

Now, wait just a minute here.

Where am I going to get worms and plastic minnows?

The Florida everglades.

Dexter's secret! Dexter's secret!

Dexter's secret! Dexter's secret!

Oh, no!

What has that stupid bird done?

If that canary sings,

my entire laboratory will be compromised.

Dexter's secret! Dexter's secret!

Dexter's secret!

Say, you know,

there's something strange about this bird.

Now, where do you suppose it came from?

Hmm... hmm...

A secret! A secret!

A secret!

A secret?

All right, Mr. Bird.

You've got some explaining to do.

Out with it, right now!

I'm not going to ask you again.

Exactly where did you come from?

Dexter's secret! Dexter's secret!

Dexter's secret!

Dexter's secret.

Dad: Dexter!

How many times have I told you

not to throw the bird?

But, mom, it's not a real bird.

I built it in my secret laboratory.

Ohhh!

Smooth move, Dexter.

Now you'll have to erase mom and dad's memories--

again.

Smooth move, Dexter. Smooth move, Dexter.

Smooth move, Dexter.

Enter at your own peril,

past the vaulted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

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