Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

Photos bring back so many memories.

Mm-hmm!

Hey, whenare school photos?

Together: Tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Together: Tomorrow.

I just love photo day.

I always look so

but for Dexter, it's just a little bit different.

It's true. It's true.

It's true. I am a bad photo boy.

[Sobs]

I'm just ugly!

[Sobbing]

Ugly! Ugly!

Ugly!

Dee Dee: Ugly!

[Sobbing]

Dee Dee?

Hi, Dexter.

Ooh, what happened here?

I am afraid I am not handsome enough

for the school photo.

Dexter, you know you can't have--

um, uh--

you know you can't have, uh...

Dexter, what's inside here?

Brains?

Yeah, yeah, that's it--brains.

You can't have brains and be a model, too.

But Einstein modeled his khakis,

and he had brains.

Hmm.

But schmarky schmark modeled his khakis,

and he's abeefcake.

You are right. I am not a beefcake.

I am just a cupcake.

Hee hee hee!

What is so funny?

It's just that I wouldn't say "cupcake."

Then what would you say?

I would say you're more like a...

Strawberry shortcake!

[Teeth chattering]

Gee, Dexter,

you're really hung up on this.

I'm sorry.

I've got an idea!

Dee Dee: I think it's over here.

Maybe it's over here.

[Whispering] Psst! I found it.

It's a magazine!

A magazine, huh?

Not just any magazine--

eleventeen magazine!

This magazine has the dreamiest boys in the world.

You mean, like Einstein

and professor hawk?

Gee, I don't think so.

But it has...

Woo. Chad princely.

He's my favorite.

His favorite color's blue,

and he likes blond, blue-eyed girls.

My favorite color is blue.

[Sighing] Oh, Chad, marry me.

[Kiss kiss]

Dexter: What does he have that I don't?

It's not that Chad has something that you don't.

It's just-- just...His clothes.

That's right, his clothes.

All you need is a wardrobe makeover.

And with my help, you'll look great.

Voila!

It is just not me.

Ok, ok. Chin up, Dexter.

It's just the wrong outfit. Just wait right here.

It is not the clothes, Dee Dee.

It is me.

Dexter?

Dexter: With my newfound knowledge of attractive males

and my technical achievements at my fingertips,

I will be the most handsome boy

in the history of school photos!

[Computer beeps]

[Laughing sinisterly]

Computer, lower the test transformer module.

[Screaming]

Dexter: It worked. Heh heh.

It worked!

[Laughing sinisterly]

[Disco music playing]

[Screams]

[Screams]

[Screams]

[Screaming]

[Screams]

Well, once again, I look fa--

aah!

Hey, toots.

Dex, is that you?

Never touch my face.

It is fragile and beautiful.

So, out of my way, ugly commoner.

Excuse me while I immortalize my visage.

I am ready for my closeup, miss leibovitz.

Yes, yes. I am handsome, I know...

Which reminds me-- are you sure

you have the right equipment to capture my visage?

Hmm.

I thought that maybe we could use a few lights

and some reflection cards to accentuate my face.

Get out of here, you hag!

At last, lighting perfection.

Now to immortalize my face.

With the push of this button,

the world will soon see how handsome I am.

[Bubbling]

They're here! They're here!

What's here? What's here?

School photos!

Wow. Now, that's one for the book.

Now let's see Dexter's.

Ok.

Dexter, you closed your eyes.

Come on, honey. It's notthat

it's ok, dad. I know it's not good.

I was trying to be someone I'm not.

But now I know that if you just be yourself,

everything will be a-ok.

Not if you want to be popular.

[Liquid pouring]

Yeow!

[Struggling]

Yaah!

[Thud]

It is no good.

I cannot reach anything.

[TV playing]

[Chewing noisily]

Dexter, pass me the remote.

Get it yourself.

Man, on TV: Did you see how complicated and contrived that show was?

Hmm.

Dee Dee,

may I have a piece of your gum, please?

Ok, but just take one.

[Muffled scream]

[Beep]

[Chewing]

Computer, activate the molecular transfer pod.

Computer: Molecular transfer pod activated.

Molecular transfer sequence commencing.

Molecule transfer sequence completed.

Success!

[Stretching]

Ooh, I got to be more careful.

[Whistling]

Whee! This is fun!

[Laughing]

Whee!

[Laughing]

[Gurgling]

All this stretching has sure made me hungry.

I'll go to the kitchen and make a sandwich.

Hi, Dexter.

Mmm. Peanut butter and jelly, my favorite.

Don't make a mess, honey.

Lunch.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Peanut butter and jelly.

Hi, Dexter!

You have eaten my sandwich!

Hey, you're all stretchy.

Cool!

[Laughing]

[Camera clicking]

Dee Dee: Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Dexter!

There is no stopping her.

What am I going to do?

I know.

[Groaning]

Dexter? Where did he go?

Hi, dad. Did you see where Dexter went?

No. But I know where you're going, young lady!

And don't be mean to your brother.

He's a lot smarter than you.

And don't ever let me catch you in Dexter's secret lab--

that, uh, I don't know about-- again

or you will be punished.

Do I make myself clear?

There you are, mister. I've been looking everywhere for you.

You're supposed to be doing the yard work today.

But, mom, i--i--i mean, honey...

Hmm.

There's something very strange about dad.

Oh, dad!

Where are you?

[Chomping]

Come on. I want to play.

[Moaning]

[Groaning]

Dee Dee, what the heck do you think you're doing?

But--

but I thought you were Dexter.

See, Dexter swallowed my gum.

And the molecular transfer pod--

and I ate his sandwich,

and he stretched himself all over the lab.

And we played basketball and bungee.

And the robots-- and then he was hiding,

and I didn't recognize him

because he turned himself into you.

[Laughing]

Now,that's

[laughing]

Dee Dee! Dee Dee!

I heard this great joke.

Ha ha ha!

Ok, here it goes.

A physics professor and his assistant

were working on liberating

negatively charged hydroxyl ions,

when all of a sudden the assistant says, "wait, professor."

"What if the salicylic acids

don't accept the hydroxyl ion?"

And the professor responds,

"that's no hydroxyl ion. That's my wife."

[Laughing]

♪ Today is the day I will pass the test ♪

♪ pass the test, pass the test ♪

♪ today is the da-ay ♪

♪ I will pass the test ♪

Oh, give me a break.

You are all just jealous,

right, miss wimple?

Whatever you say, Dexter. You can do no wrong.

I know.

Ah, oh, my. The test.

I hope you are all prepared,

like I know my Dexter is.

Ok, class, you may begin the test now.

Psst! What's the answer to number one?

Psst! What's the answer to number one?

Psst! What's the answer to number one?

287!

I--i think I'm going to faint.

Miss wimple!

Oh, the disappointment.

Not you...

Miss wimple! Miss wimple!

Dexter,

is that you?

It will be all right.

No. It won't be all right.

I have to give you...

Detention.

No!

You must be Dexter, huh?

Uh, yes, my name is Dexter, but I am not--

well, we'll just check you off, then.

[Dexter gulps]

No!

Please! I was framed.

You cannot lock me up.

I am innocent.

[Laughing sinisterly]

You all claim you're innocent, but you're not!

You all make me sick... Criminals!

All right, you little troublemakers,

I'm going to get you all some work.

I don't want to hear a peep out of anyone,

or--solitary confinement.

[Dexter gulps]

Not a peep!

But--

[mumbling]

Shh.

Ah, morse--

[mumbling]

Shh.

[Bam]

Ah, you little maggots,

I'm proud of you.

Not a peep!

However,

that does not exempt you all from your work hours,

criminals.

All right, now, front and center!

Now, then. I have in this box

your work sticks.

And behind you, is a chalkboard,

and upon that chalkboard,

you all will be writing 1,000 times

"I am...

A criminal"!

Now!

[Chalk squeaking]

[Laughing sinisterly]

[Snoring]

[Chalk squeaking loudly]

Huh?

[Laughs nervously]

Solitary confinement

for the criminal.

Now get back to work!

How could this happen?

This is so unfair.

I'm innocent! I'm innocent!

I have to get out.

It's so quiet, so very quiet.

Aah! Walls closing in. Nowhere to go!

Have to escape. Have to escape.

No way out. No way out.

Trapped! Trapped like a rat!

Aah!

Hmm. Light.

Freedom!

I guess it's time

to let out thecriminal.

Had enough, criminal?

Now get back to work.

[Stomping]

[Morse code]

[Snoring]

Huh?

So you all think you finished, huh?

You, small boy,

get up here and clean those erasers.

What?

This can't be. Huh?

No!

We are free!

Looks like you broke into the state prison.

[Sirens]

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

past the vaulted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory ♪

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab

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